Take a Load Off

34 Comments

1. Cliche Bandit on February 16, 2017 at 10:20 am

   I am strangely attracted to the idea but unwilling to purchase one unless it can be done in a distant city, while wearing a fake mustache…and in cash.

   • Riven on February 16, 2017 at 10:28 am

     That’s about where I’m at with it… plus I’d have to knit a cozy or something for it… because I wouldn’t want guests using my bathroom knowing what it was for… or even that it exists.

     • jesse.in.mb on February 16, 2017 at 10:33 am

       Free alternative: Poop like a samurai

       • Scruffy Nerfherder on February 16, 2017 at 10:40 am

         Secondly was body position and posture. The samurai would sit squarely on the seat, cross his leg so that his right ankle rested on his left knee (his left foot remained on the ground), place a hand on each knee, then straighten his back

         I have to admit, that was not what I was expecting.

         • trshmnstr on February 16, 2017 at 10:42 am

           I would need a tophat and monocle to shit like that.

         • Scotticus Finch on February 16, 2017 at 11:34 am

           Egads, man! Who defecates without his hat and monocle in any pose?

     • Francisco d'Anconia on February 16, 2017 at 10:39 am

       You’re not going to take it to work with you?

       • Riven on February 16, 2017 at 10:41 am

         And lose it to some lady-bum in our new downtown public office? No way!

2. Cliche Bandit on February 16, 2017 at 10:21 am

   I have camped in the woods…and been to South America. Thank god for those Warty Work Outs or I would be covered in crap.

   • Lafe Long on February 16, 2017 at 12:53 pm

     +1 squat-thrust

     • Groovus Maximus on February 16, 2017 at 1:56 pm

       I see your handle stopped having its period.

       • Lafe Long on February 16, 2017 at 2:46 pm

         +2 Pamprin

3. Brett L on February 16, 2017 at 10:21 am

   I’ll send anyone the one my wife got and never uses. I’ll even clorox it first.

4. Zero Sum Game on February 16, 2017 at 10:23 am

   And the Islamization of the west continues unabated.

   • Zero Sum Game on February 16, 2017 at 10:25 am

     Do we suppose that, instead of a toilet paper roll, there’s a mounted Purell dispenser for the left hand?

     • Riven on February 16, 2017 at 10:37 am

       I hear some countries use some kind of… hose?

       • jesse.in.mb on February 16, 2017 at 10:39 am

         Ask Playa about incredibly expensive bidets sometime.

         • Zero Sum Game on February 16, 2017 at 10:56 am

           Hmm, does he know how to use the three seashells?

           (Probably NSFW, and if it is, you’ll still get weird looks from the normies.)

       • Heroic Mulatto on February 16, 2017 at 11:16 am

         The Thai butt hose is the best invention since sliced bread.

5. Francisco d'Anconia on February 16, 2017 at 10:26 am

   Just lean forward and save yourself the money for two sixers.

6. Max Coins on February 16, 2017 at 10:27 am

   You forgot to link the best part – their original ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q

   • sloopyinca on February 16, 2017 at 10:35 am

     So Lebron James and anybody else over 6’8″ has a distinct advantage over us mere mortals when it comes to evacuation?

     We need to find a Diana Moon Glampers to force these people to use shitters that are 36″ off the ground.

   • Riven on February 16, 2017 at 11:27 am

     Ah, I was remiss! Thank you for the help!

7. Scruffy Nerfherder on February 16, 2017 at 10:31 am

   I prefer the Bumper Dumper myself

8. John Titor on February 16, 2017 at 10:35 am

   I can’t poop in space with this, 2/10.

   • jesse.in.mb on February 16, 2017 at 10:43 am

     I smell research grant money.

     • Cliche Bandit on February 16, 2017 at 11:11 am

       Swiss…where is swiss?

9. Slammer on February 16, 2017 at 10:49 am

   Interesting. Couldn’t I just use 2 big stacks of old magazines, though?

   • jesse.in.mb on February 16, 2017 at 10:57 am

     When I was a wee tyke we had a milk crate in the bathroom in case you needed repositioning.

10. Suthenboy on February 16, 2017 at 11:31 am

    I spend a lot of time, effort and thought on food going in. Going out? Not so much.

    • Groovus Maximus on February 16, 2017 at 12:53 pm

      Until you’re bound up tighter than a drum; then it’s a trip to a Rear Admiral like me for those Suthen Fried Haemorrhoids.-) Which, btw, with age is practically guaranteed to happen.

      *holds out cheese tray*

      More deep fried Brick of Mozzarella con Marinara?

      • Suthenboy on February 16, 2017 at 8:04 pm

        Goddammit.

        *stealthy nibble on fried cheese brick*

        I have to admit, getting old really is a bitch.

11. Private Chipperbot on February 16, 2017 at 11:38 am

    We bought two and gave them as white elephant presents last Christmas.

12. Emissary of Cospaia on February 16, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    I’ve got one. I find that I use it only sporadically, and that it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference in either effort applied or final production, but it is sometimes more comfortable.

    The much better addition for securing the blessings of liberty for my posterior was my add-on bidet. All you filthy Americans need to get on the bidet train and ride that exhilarating puckered power washer to cleanliness.