As you might have noticed, many of our articles are published under “Guest Contributor”. You might be asking yourself, “are you assholes crazy enough to be accepting writing submissions from us?” Yes, yes we are. And you too can get in on the action. Please use the leads/submissions form, easy to locate at the top of the page, and one of three lovely ladies, or sloopy will respond.
More likely than three lady libertarians, amirite?
You might be asking yourself “Holy shit, did that crazy bitch just say three lovely ladies?” Yes, all three libertarian women in existence have volunteered their time to review what you send us, process it, shine it up real pretty-like, and publish for Glibertaria to mock and/or have virtual fist fights over. Please keep in mind that these three, lovely ladies are volunteering their time, out of the goodness of their cold, shriveled libertarian hearts, so please be patient and appreciative.
So please, give me your poems, your rants, and poorly worded essays yearning to breathe free…and possibly mocked.
process it, shine it up real pretty-like
AAWWWW YEAH
I think we need HM to add the animation to that one.
Oh nice, the link works now! Maybe one day I’ll be famous also. Ok, I don’t write well, but no one else on the planet will let me write things on the web, I mean besides comments. I’m working on a couple of things, maybe one of these days I’ll be brave (or drunk) enough to submit it.
::pours Hyperion some whiskey::
Step 1: get an avatar.
Step 2: write something.
Step 3: ??????
Step 4: profit.
You have accomplished one of these important steps.
Oh, trust me, sloop, I’ve written a lot of stuff. Just don’t consider any of it good enough. I’m working on it. Or one night I will just get drunk and send it.
Yeah, I have written a couple and thought I submitted them. I dont think I am doing it right. Either my writing sucks balls (probably does) or I didn’t submit correctly.
Someone explain to me how to submit correctly. Please take your time and pretend you are explaining it to a moron.
OK, you dont have to pretend. Explain it like you are explaining to a moron.
The link is working now, Suthen (Leads/Submissions). I was wanting to submit that ‘there’s another site’ thing that made trashy so famous when he did the Hitler downfall vid…
Oh, muh legacay, muh legacy! I’m all wee-weed up!
*runs sobbing from room*
*looking for my lost tube of butthurt cream*
And the thing I started on the other day about the ‘Cart Wars Wednesday’. I’ve actually expanded on that a lot.
The issue with that style is that it maybe needs some animation (southpark style?), but I don’t have that talent and don’t know anyone who is.
Resubmit them, I don’t believe we have received anything from you on our end.
I sent one already…you’re not reviewing them for quality, are you? If so you should have given fair warning.
“you’re not reviewing them for quality, are you?”
Look, don’t be dashing my hopes before I even get started.
It’s generally twenty four hours or so before you hear back from them. They let my stuff through so the standards are pretty low.
Bullshit. Your stuff aint half bad Tonio. Beats the hell out of most of what I have read over at….elsewhere.
We’ll find out. If my work makes it on to the site, we know there are no standards.
Thanks for this!
*Checks pockets* Sorry, I only have these memes on me right now.
I submit myself for sentencing, Swiss.
My last one on this; I promise.
“Post the latest meme in your phone and share” got me in a lot of trouble
You should write “A Normies guide to Kek and all that other stuff”.
Do not try and become uncucked, that’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth…there is no cuck. Then you will see it is not the cuck that inhabits you, it is only Kek.
Now see…after your last article ZSG you shot to the top of favorite submitters, and now this? Booo. Just Booo.
*shuffles piles of junk on desk looking for red marker and that list*
I present a choose-your-own-adventure joke:
⦿ It’s OK. I did Amy Schumer down below to make up for it.
⦿ Being the bottom is how I like it anyway. Everyone underestimates you.
⦿ Oh please come back, everyone! I’ll link to a tweet that has two likes that references in-jokes about cocktail parties and “to be sure” if you do! I’m so lonely. 🙁
Some endings are worse than others.
I used to be just a punk commenter. Then I read SugarFree’s book and signed up at Glibertarians dot com. Now I are a published author and everything.
“You…Are FAKE NEWS”
No, I am VERY fake news.
I found SugarFree’s book in the “Self Help” section at the book store. I was really torn between leaving it there and moving it to reside with the ethics books on assisted suicide.
Is there some way to learn more about your method? Preferably utilizing a moderate number of easy payments!
It was a dank and stormy night
I’m a terrible writer and my opinions are shit.
It’s OK. Amy Schumer also rose to prominence on the back of a complete lack of talent.
I think her rise to prominence was based upon another part of her anatomy, or the discussion thereof.
The words, “rise,” and, “anatomy,” should *NEVER* appear in the same sentence when discussing The Schoom Gang, Tonio, never mind the same ZIP code.
Links?
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The engineer rolls his eyes. ‘You forgot to account for wind. Give it here’, he snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the right. Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells “We got him!”
A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are staying in the same hotel for a conference. The hotel catches fire in the middle of the night. The physicist wakes up first. Seeing the flames, he runs to his desk, pulls out his notepad and calculator, and begins to calculate furiously. Once he is done, he runs over to his bag, pulls out a graduated cylinder, runs to the bathroom, fills up the cylinder with a precise amount of water, and douses the flames in his room, extinguishing them without a drop wasted. Having eliminated the fire in his room, he goes back to sleep. The engineer wakes up next, sees his room ablaze, runs to the bathroom and breaks open all of the taps and faucets, completely flooding the room and putting out the fire. He then goes back to sleep. Finally, the mathematician wakes up. He runs to his desk, pulls out his notepad and calculator, and begins to calculate furiously. After several minutes, he stands up and exclaims “AHA! I’ve done it! I have proven that I can put out this fire!” Then he puts his notepad away and goes back to sleep.
Actually having read most of “Cadillac Desert: The American West and Its Disappearing Water” I’d definitely like to pen some notes on my reaction to it, especially the chapter regarding Jimmy Carter’s losing crusade against the entrenched pork barrel monster. If I ever get ahead of my work and feel good about myself you can count on me to submit my own brand of gibberish. The next chapter of the book is being written right now as we see the Bureau of Reclamation Dams become long in the tooth and agencies reluctant to pony up and rebuild. I’m looking at you Oroville.
Do they have to be in some way politically related? Or are things like movie or video game reviews allowed? Not that I plan to submit anything. Any article by me would likely be garbage, but I’m just curious.
“How to Get Rich Pretending to Give a Shit About Other People’s Problems”
“More likely than three lady libertarians, amirite?”
You are sorite.
/why there are no…
…roads?
?
If not for local governments, who will neglect the roads?
There was an old glibertarian from Nantucket….
Who was reading Reason and said “fuck it”..
He started a site,
That very same night,
Completing a list they named Bucket!
Bravo to you all!
Doing his best to piss off the Jacket
Try, “Thus pissing off Nick and The Jacket,”; much better metre, though I prefer my limericks to actually rhyme. I also would have shortened Ted’s, “Glibertarian,” to, “Glib,” as in, “Old Glib with Candy.” Like so:
There once was a Glib from Nantucket
Who was reading Reason and said, “Fuck it!”
He started a site
That very same night
Completing a list he named Bucket.
(Thus pissing off Nick and the Jacket).
Happy now?-P
That’s why they call you “doctor” 😉
all three libertarian women in existence have volunteered their time
I has sad existential crisis. 🙁
So get busy.
Don’t feel sad, there are actually many libertarian women at any given moment of the day. My wife, for instance, is a libertarian at least 7 times a day in between being a socialist, conservative, republican, anarchist, minarchist, objectivist, marxist… well, you get the picture maybe.
Is your wife’s name, “Sybil,” perchance?
*ducks for cover*
Is that what they now call a normal woman? No wonder no one takes you rat fucking baggers seriously. But please, show me a woman who doesn’t change her mind about any given subject 18 times a day and…
Ok, she’s moving more towards the libertarian side, gradually. She’s went from socialist to being a Trumpet, so hopefully that’s going in the right direction. American politics is hard. It’s sort of like me trying to understand Eurotard politics. I don’t.
But anyway, moving from socialist to capitalist, that’s a start.
Moving from bat shit crazy, there’s a start. Oh womyn. I despair. Good thing you look so yummy and smell purty.
I keed. My Ella wasn’t very political, but when she was, it was generally a “can’t you just leave us alone” kind of thing.
Alas. My Ella is gone. The living chick I’m dating is full on derp shit crazy.
Dr. ZG’s is remarkably consistent, as she’s Soviet Union level, Ru-Krainian stubborn. Even getting her to see that the notion of adjusting and raising insurance premiums *after* one loses an existing policy and is price and premium adjusted for current costs BECAUSE YOUR MEDICAL HX NOTES EXACTLY WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU AND YOU CAN NOW BE DISCRETELY PRICED FOR COST OF CARE… ahem… was a Herculean task, and took me almost five years to execute.
Welcome to my world, brother. I empathise and sympathise with ye on that one.