ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU,
- PENIS BAD, GUN GOOD, TOMAHAWK BETTER THAN NAUGHT.
- SHITSHOW GETTING SHOWIER.
- ARE BRUTALS AWARE OF ANY OTHER LONG SERVING LEADER OF JAPAN?
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Yes. Shuttle Japan (シャトルジャパン) is almost 20 years old.
I…uh…leader, yeah.
*scurries off*
You will never get the succ.
Man, I got Tyroned!
So many of us did. Think of it as a rite of passage.
You know who else teamed up with Japan?
James Bond?
Yeah. it sucks when your victims are better armed. God story.
“God story.”
I was thinking about how I miss John.
*checks quiver for cat butt bolts*
…
Drat, empty.
Fair comment. That was a John-worthy typo.
The bolts are for if John shows up…
I didn’t have much of a problem with John, other than arguing than him was like arguing with Walter Sobchak. “Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it’s an ethos.
Calling anyone who dares to disagree with him a subhuman retard who cannot read and is a sekret prog to boot is not going to get anything other than a cat butting.
Maybe John is into cat butting? I’m still surprised he hasn’t wandered over here yet.
He could be / is a dick. My biggest problem with him (and not just him) was that he read things wrong. It could be a news article, and he’d be stating that Reason supported X position. ‘It’s a straight news article, dude. No commentary given.’ He also often wouldn’t really read more than the headline, and totally misinterpret the jist of the article.
I guess I give him a bit more latitude than other posters who talk shit, but that’s because he’s been there longer than I have. And I’ve been there for 12 years.
I don’t know. I’ve had a small handful of disagreements with John over my two-ish years posting over there, including Friday afternoon, and he’s yet to insult me personally.
Which anime is Shinzo Abe from?
Um….Cowboy Bebop?
You are a man of taste sir, despite your low German dialekt.
Mudazumo naki Kaikaku
I’m not surprised Japan is ruled by a LARPer.
That is awesome. Japanese PM play mahjong against Hitler and Moon Nazis for the fate of the world?
Maybe that’s the same reason Trump is Putin’s Pinocchio? Has anyone done a screening for a squid alien on the orange one?
The Hair is NOT an alien! I..I think not, I mean.
He wishes he was in GATE, so he could get those sweet, sweet ultranationalist waifus.
So… Longest Abe?
Not even close.
Watching blazing saddles. Thanks, person who said it was on Netflix.
The sheriff is near?
+1 Excuse me while I whip this out
[eats beans by the fire]
I watched that this afternoon. There is some classic lines in that one.
“They said you was hung!”
“And they was right”
“Oh, It’s Twue, it’s Twue, it’s twue!”
“I am not from Havana,”
RANDOLPH SCOTT!!!!
*removes hat and places over heart*
Oh man, i forgot about the tollbooth scene.
“Someone go back and get a shit load of dimes!!”
Saturday night links? What witchcraft is this?
Hey, if a giant, futuristic, flying head gives us links late night…I ain’t questioning it!
Dangerous. Wasn’t there an experiment where rats got an electrode hook to the pleasure center of their brains and the pushed the button until they died? You guys are murderers.
I’m pretty sure that was just a Niven story. We don’t have that tech. Yet.
This kind of witchcraft
That looks a right ancient welder. Don’t electrocute yourself.
It’s all good. I removed the mouse nest. Sheesh.
Its just hihn bait.
HSST! Don’t say the name!!!
*nervously looks left and right*
Hihntificator will start over with a new file and fascist Bully list. *giggle/farts*
We have the special cat butthole in that eventuality. It’s got hemorrhoids and a few dingleberries.
I can hardly wait.
It’s magic.
SHITSHOW GETTING SHOWIER.
I read that as, “shitshow getting shower”and thought maybe that is not something I want to see.
“FAM SHE THICK AS FUCK ID SMASH A CARTOON CHARACTER ANYDAY ONLY IF ITS MRS INCREDIBLE
MY NUTS WOULD BE SHRIVELD UP FROM ALL EM I BUSTED”
—Blastphamous H-Dizzle, 7 months ago
Future Honorable Mention on a Thicc Thursday?
Rule change could make Abe longest-serving leader in Japan
SHOGUN SHOGUN SHOGUN! Sei-i Taishōgun! WARLORD IN EDO, RIGHT HAND OF THE CHRYSANTHEMUM THRONE!
…I’m sure this isn’t controversial at all.
Gifu prefecture is up in arms!
You won’t believe what the Shimazu do next!
It’s just a Paradox marketing scheme for the upcoming EU4 expansion.
And to follow up on your advice, I’m really tempted to play a small-scale Japan game just to unify the island and be done once the expansion is out…
Last I saw Japan was a little weird still because of the new vassal mechanics. They really need a micro-HRE or something to reflect the sengoku period. Japan tends to break due to patches a lot (at release they uses to be under perma-rebels once the Catholics made contact), don’t know what it is like now, but they’re a good non-European colonization option. Vietnam, proto-Malaysia and Korea are also good.
By the way, I’m an idiot, you want to kill that France-Venice alliance and get Spain out?
1. Find someone to declare on, a minor or easy win if possible, that you can pull France into. Declare that war.
2. Declare war on Venice. Because France is in the other war, they can’t say yes to a call to arms from Venice. Spain can.
3. Crush Venice and Spain. Get enough warscore with Spain to cancel their alliance with the Ottomans.
Ah see, I haven’t been paying attention to the new expansion info, Mandate of Heaven sounds like what I wanted Paradox to make THREE YEARS AGO, instead of overhauling Native Americans and African minors that barely anyone plays and making the Ottomans more OP.
Oh, thanks to reddit I found out my desires of kebab removal have hit another shoal.
Because I’m technically a Great Power, if I go on a kebab run, it’d be 3 on 2. So another GP would jump in. And I just know it would be fucking Austria.
Current plan – take 100,000 Mad Poles and 36000 Brandenburg Space Marines and invade Austria. This pulls in Palatinate, so I can make them break Otto-alliance and Great Britain, which will hopefully do the British thing of sitting on the island reading The Sun while the war is in progress. Then I’ll have truces with both and hopefully that means they can’t go into Otto mess (already have truce with Russia).
The real European wars were confusing enough, this game sounds like it would make them even more confusing.
Hey, if takes a few burned castles, slain samuri, and some select seppuku…
Seppuku is a great film. Got it on DVD.
PRAISE BE TO ZARDOZ
The tables turn on a 70-year-old homeless man accused of trying to rob a Barre Town couple at gunpoint in their own home.
Police say Kenneth Pecor was able to get inside a home on Little John Road Sunday morning. He allegedly demanded cash and a car while pointing a rifle at two of the residents.
But after a struggle, the homeowner was able to fight back.
Now looking for appropriate re-enactment footage
I’m thinking he might have tried to lure the old man into complacency with a ham sandwich before making his move with the Tomahawk
The first thing that came to my mind was a Bartertown situation involving gunpoint, but the roles where reversed. A ham sandwich didn’t come to mind. Other than, I like ham sandwiches now that you mention it.
Surprisingly, its hard to find footage of a 70yr old mountain man being gently wrestled into submission by a younger person with a tomahawk.
My go-to was trying to find something with a senile Buddy Ebsen trying to re-enact scenes from Davy Crockett.
The only reason Abe has lasted so long in his second stint is that the DP was such a shitshow when the briefly took over with Hatoyama. Let the opposition take over for 2 years every 60 years or so as a reminder of how awful they are.
Could we possibly get a Mighty Zardoz… advice column?
E.g.
Mighty Zardoz,
My sister-in-law is still constantly complaining about Hilary losing the election. While I am not happy with the outcome, I strongly believe my youngest’s fifth birthday was not the right place to go on a 45-minute speech about “F-ing Russians and F-ing Bernie bros killing us all.”
How do I get her to stop doing it while maintaining good relations with her side of the family?
Easy. Tranq gun, shipping crate, freight forwarder in Venezuela.
Xanax in the gin and tonic?
Give her the Hunter Biden treatment?
Ouch. You shouldn’t mow your brother’s lawn even if he’s on vacation.
Hey, I’m just spitballin’ here.
Fine. How about taking her on a scenic car ride ala Ted K.
I like the way you think
Wait…were talking Kennedy and not Kaczynski right? I mean the end result is the same, just two very different ways to go about it
Both were Luddites, so not much difference.
Get two hot Asian women to smear her face with VX nerve agent precursors.
What?! No polonium in the soup?
ZARDOZ would probably just keep suggesting “SEND BRUTAL ENFORCERS.”
Finally some sensible advice!
Buy all her kids MAGA hats and pay them five bucks every time they wear them. She will just drink herself to death, or have a nervous breakdown.
Venezuela is down to its last $10 billion
Maybe posted previously, but pointing and saying, “Ha, Ha!” never gets old.
Apropos
So about $5B from revolution (other $5B will end up disappearing with the Chavistas).
Chavi
Look, everything was going well (yes, there were saboteurs and wreckers, but their efforts were being curtailed) until CIA gave glorious Chavez cancer. Now look what the Americans are doing to the poor country with their low oil prices and cancer rays and paid oppositions.
Playa,
If you are lurking here I responded to your question on Sat. Afternoon links.
DON’T ANY OF YOU WORK?
I’m working on a buzz. Know what I’m talkin’ aboot, eh?
No, I don’t. I refuse to be a stereotyped punch line!
You know, you could go to Tim’s and get a donair…
….and BakedPenguin casserole.
Wow. Such hostility. You’ve actually been able to buy beer in grocery stores for a couple years now. Plus, hockey.
SO GET YOUR CANADIAN ASS TO THE STORE BEFORE THEY RUN OUT OF LABATT’S, DART! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
I’m so hungry I could eat poutine. This BC is loco.
Sorey.
What were you talking aboot again?
Hello.
I’m doing paperwork for the motherfucking, cocksucking, life ruining, boner withering, murderous intent heighting Ministry of Finance. I wouldn’t hate paperwork if I knew it’s sole purpose wasn’t to give a goddamned bureaucrat something to justify his mild rape of the public. So, in short, yes, I do have a job. *Double negatives aren’t not unnecessary at times.
Mild rape. How does it work?
Shhhh…just let it happen. *gives Rufus a pillow*
…followed by light sobs of ‘eh?’
Microrape. Death by a thousand cunts making you fill out the same form over and over and over again.
Er… If it’s the same form, couldn’t you just, you know, like fill it out once and then print out a bunch of copies?
Each division of each department of each ministry needs to know exactly how much is spent on X and each form is slightly different. So, no, I can’t just copy it.
Borrowing a joke from another Yokel.
So a professor of linguistics was giving a speech about double negatives. He pointed out that while double negatives in English cancel each other out, or at least cause confusion, in other languages, like Spanish and Russian, double negatives just make things more negative. But there is no known language where double positives cancel each other out. To which a student sarcastically replied, “Yeah, Right.”
It’s Sunday, bro.
Has anyone thought about how funny it is that “progressive” leftists have spent decades pushing for a government monopoly on firearms and rejecting the idea of citizens taking up arms against a tyrannical government, but now, all of a sudden, they’re squealing that there’s a Holocaust-level threat against gays, blacks, and Muslims from the allegedly tyrannical Trump administration?
Every day since November 8th. They definitely learned from the Boromir school of political science.
Yes, but the humor of it is just a tired (sigh)
You could literally sit one of those leftists down and slowly act out the scenario step by step so that the irony would be crystal-clear to a 5yr old… and they’d just shake their head like YOU don’t understand, because “the second amendment is actually only about White People, duh, and no one like the NRA would ever support actual real-live minority people having guns, i mean educate yourself already.”
The contradictions and absurdities are never-ending. I just saw a photo of an “anti-fascist” protestor burning a sign that said FREE SPEECH while giving it the finger. A week or so ago I saw a tape of a protester chanting “Free speech is hate speech.”
But that monopoly is going to be the ‘right’ people. Trump is the wrong people. And if you don’t believe he’s crazy, he’s talking about cutting some regulations!
… And they are simultaneously complaining about those “right people” (cops) being a bunch of trigger-happy racists.
My life as a zucchini. Conservatives freaking out over violence in video games again or lefties using stealth to brainwash the kiddos? Or a little of both?
Actually it reads more like hyperventilating about the idea that (GASP) animated films might not *actually* be just for kids despite their appearances, and they might actually have adult themes, which has TOTALLY NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
The gushing reviews from people I despise certainly caused me to lend the pantshitters at least a hearing. The role of stories from Gilgamesh to Sophocles to Beowulf to Disney in shaping the views of the youth shouldn’t be underestimated. How about the critics of Zuchini make their own film? It’s not like Hollywood is revered these days for its moral righteousness.
Someone had better talk to the Japanese.
Well, it’s looking like the Democrats have shot themselves in the foot, once again. The fake “Russia stole the election” propaganda has backfired. Now the DoJ has a good reason to look at exactly how the Obama administration got that October FISA warrant to bug Trump, why the earlier request was turned down (a rarity for FISA warrants), and how the information was handled. Oh, and how convenient that Obama loosened the rules for handling surveillance information, just before he left office! In a way that makes it much harder to catch leakers.
The cries of “worse than Watergate!” from the expected quarters might actually be true. There are severe penalties for misusing FISA data. I would not be surprised if Obama and company were consulting with their lawyers right now.
A position on pizza we can all get behind:
http://edition.cnn.com/2017/02/21/europe/iceland-president-pineapple-pizza-ban-trnd/
I like Hawaiian style pizza. It has nice mix of salty and sweet. There I said it,
It’s not my first choice, I tend to be more of a pepperoni and peppers kind of guy. But it is still better than a vegetarian or cheese pizza.
I am preparing the Atomic Cat Butthole for you. And anyone else who disses the glory that is the classic Margherita. Pray that SP doesn’t see this- she is far more ruthless and deadly than I.
I may have mentioned earlier in the week that I made some pineapple pork on coconut rice. I see no reason a pizza cant be made in that flavor theme. Just make sure your pork is not italian style sausage, the flavor isnt complementary. Pork and pineapple were made for each other.
But they weren’t made for pizza. One must have standards.
It is perfectly fine to have pineapple pork w/ coconut rice on some sort of breadlike crust.
It is even acceptable to fine some sort of cheese that will enhance and add to the flavors.
But there is no need to call such a creation a ‘pizza’.
Hmm…….pineapple pork and coconut rice on a scallion pancake base…………..
So we get bullets but then have to deal WITH ALL CAPS?!
The Glib giveth, and the Glib taketh away.
Wait… what is this? How did this happen?
Brutals? I thought we were uppity barbarians.