Good morning!  Only, why is it so damn dark outside at this hour?  Oh, that’s right.  Some dickheads changed the time on us.  Well, that’s not gonna stop me from providing some sweet links for you to get your week started right.  At least I hope not.

No! Fuck you, go be productive in the private sector.

The cuts Trump plans to propose this week are also expected to lead to layoffs among federal workers, changes that would be felt sharply in the Washington area. According to an economic analysis by Mark Zandi, chief economist for Moody’s Analytics, the reductions outlined so far by Trump’s advisers would reduce employment in the region by 1.8 percent and personal income by 3.5 percent, and lower home prices by 1.9 percent.

HALLELUJAH!

“In our world, women have been important to us for a long time,” explained Selena Kalvaria, senior director for Lime-A-Rita. After all, women are statistically 51 percent of the population and according to surveys they make 85 percent of consumer purchasing decisions.

Whatever.  You dicks went political and dropped Bud Bowl for Amy Schumer and some story about a legal immigrant.  Besides, have you tried this stuff? It’s worse than Bartles & Jaymes.

DIVERSITY!