In 1998, I did some ecstasy but forgot that I had to work the next morning. This was a mistake. You aren’t really hungover after a night of X, but you are very, very, very tired. I was working in a college bookstore, stocking the shelves before the fall semester started. My friend Artie had gotten me the job. I really loved Artie, but he was a hippie and everyone else working there was a hippie except for me and this older lady who was always trying to start fights about religion with everyone. I managed to make it into work on time the morning after the ecstasy, despite a deep weariness and a headache that felt like a rat running around in my skull.
The Smashmouth of Canada
Since the store was closed while we stocked, we were playing music over the sound system. Hippie music. I was getting by, hunched over in misery, until this hippie girl decided to play a Barenaked Ladies concert bootleg. It was pretty bad, but then most loud music would have been pretty bad in the circumstance. I wanted quiet and a bed and an aspirin the size of a Frisbee. But then it got to the BNL masterpiece “If I Had $1000000,” which–for those who are unfamiliar with the twenty-minute live jam version–involves the two singers alternately repeating “If I Had $1000000…” back and forth to each other over and over again.
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
And my headache got worse and the books I was moving got heavier.
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
And my headache got worse and the books I was moving got heavier and anger rose in me.
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
“If I Had $1000000…”
And finally, I yelled, loud enough to drown out the music and for the entire store of employees to hear, “IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS I’D PAY TO HAVE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING BAND BEATEN TO DEATH WITH A HAMMER!”
The bootleg tape clicked off and we worked the rest of the day in silence.
Fun fact: The lead singer of BNL was once arrested for cocaine in an apartment outside of Syracuse, New York. He was with a woman who just happened to be my wife’s gay co-worker’s baby momma.
We now return you to “Things that aren’t JB’s weird and useless connections”
+4 degrees of BNL?
That awkward moment when the first comment of the weird Wednesday article is infinitely weirder than the article itself…..
The curse of the alliterative weekly column. I got stuck with “weird.”
I could write for next week about the time my girlfriend and I conspired with another couple to kidnap a girl for a bdsm rape play scene, but I’m not sure if the statute of limitations is up yet.
/turns weirdness up to 11, drops mic
By “a girl” do you mean “diminutive of woman” or “minor female”?
If I were being serious, it would be a woman of legal age.
You could’ve done Would Wednesdays
Or maybe Word Wednesdays
Wiccan Wednesdays?
Wacky!
Of course, my original idea of “Sugarnuggets” was rejected.
Would those have been ultra-sparse tails of existential sexy horror?
for sale: autoerotic noose, once used
This is why you are my favorite, jesse. You really get me, man.
ultra-sparse tails
And yet, I can’t spell tales.
My anaconda don’t want none
Pretty sure that first one is wood Wednesdays. See what I did there?
Was it the one in the post, the one that looks like SadBeard, the world’s premier pathetic pundit?
Fun fact: I met a couple of the band members. During the concert they did the classic ‘Near, Far’ bit from Sesame Street.
Was the college bookstore where you worked owned by Barnes & Noble? Also was working at the college bookstore in ’98, that song played constantly on some CD Barnes & Noble had sent out to their stores.
No, it was just a little off-campus bookstore. I was subjected to a wide-range of terrible music for those two weeks: Phish, Grateful Dead, way too much Lilith Fair nonsense.
You obviously weren’t high enough for that job.
And they were all vegetarian bullies.
I’m going to kick your aspartame ass.
Hide your shame, old one.
It’s even more humiliating to be beaten by an elderly vegetarian who gained his muscle strength through the assiduous consumption of eggplant and quinoa.
*spits tea on monitor*
Eggplant you say?
He said “aubergine”, not “eggplant”.
And why is that guy in the emoji taking a selfie of his face? I thought you said everbody on Grindr posted their torsos, not their faces.
He’s being pretentious, and Grindr profile shots are generally headless torsos or worse pictures of sunsets or something dumb like that. That’s just leverage to force other people to send face pics in exchange for yours. It’s a very hostile take on a reputation economy.
Ani DiFranco?
Phish and Grateful Dead are Berlioz and Bach compared to Ani DiFranco.
I think you mean DeFranco.
Canadian… music…
I know what these words mean individually.
When you put them together you get The Greatest Power Trio of All Time!
You know it brother.
+1 Triumphant post.
4/5 of The Band were secret Canadians. We’re EVERYWHERE. It’s too late to stop us.
Rick James and Neil Young are both Canadian.
I realized about 10 milliseconds after hitting “Post Comment” that I had mis-remembered this and was only half right. Rick James and Neil Young recorded together for the Canadian division of Columbia Records, but James was American.
Rick James was from Buffalo, biatch.
That’s South Canada.
Remember: If you can see Canada, you’re in Canada.
Which means everything is Canada.
You are not pawning Buffalo off on us, sorry. You wanted it and Detroit back after the War of 1812, you get to keep them now.
I know you’re Canadian, but just because someone asks nicely does not mean you HAVE to do it!
Buffalo was the home of the awesome Tot Rocket and the Twins.
Being old and having hung out in Buffalo in the 1970s and 1980s, I know Tot Rocket and the Twins. These children who comment here would not have even been a glimmer in their fathers’ eyes.
I lived there 88-96 so I don’t remember these guys. I did catch the Goo Goo Dolls before they sold out FWIW.
Buffalo? Isn’t that a suburb of Toronto now?
It certainly wasn’t when I lived there – although I did listen to a lot of CFNY.
Canada Fucks New York?
You get ANNE LIGHTFOOT.
Or Gordan Murray.
UCS gets a Paul Anka guarantee!
Anka kicks David Foster’s ass.
Rufus would have hit France Joli then.
But I don’t know if he’d hit France Joli now.
Tabernak!
You can have Frank Mills.
I met a boy called Frank Mills
On September 12th right here in front of the Waverly
But unfortunately…
I lost his address.
My friend, Bert, made me carry a BNL CD for him when we were meeting up with a mutual friend and Bert had to return it, but didn’t want to be seen in public with it.
Well I hope you hid it in your purse, at least.
This was 1999. Cargo pants pocket.
I’ll have to let Mr. Riven know that his cargo pants are just, like, so gauche.
I keep a pair around for hiking or going to a theme park. If you have practical need of them they’re fine. The cuts on most of them make me look frumpy though.
They’re great for concealing a gun though.
euphemism reference in 3…2….1….
Some friends and I went to Disneyland years ago and a Texan friend is wearing a knee length skirt. We go through the security line and as soon as we get into the park “Damn it, I still have a knife strapped to my thigh, I guess they didn’t notice, so whatever.” I was impressed the strap she was using didn’t show through based on the cut of the skirt.
I could tell you about all the times I have carried a gun into a ‘gun free zone’ and the little tingle it give me everytime I do but I think this picture sums it up perfectly.
https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/14138712_1320559114635983_3134616171420136468_o.jpg?oh=4e00f7c647ca44427dd133fdf0165133&oe=595EB13C
The joke was that a man carrying a purse is less embarrassing than a BNL CD, but when you have to explicitly explain the punchline it’s probably a shitty fucking joke.
Oh, I thought cargo pants were equally embarrassing, but whatever.
It was 1999, you weren’t a man if you didn’t wear cargo pants at that time.
It’s parachute pants that are embarrassing.
*hides vintage Z Cavariccis*
I opened article hoping for some discussion of Rush and Triumph.
Excuse me; would you mind putting that out?
The Insult Comic Dog?
BTO would like a word.
“Get to the ‘workin’ overtime’ part!”
I don’t get why Triumph and Trooper has such a solid following.
….Chiliwack on the other hand….
Oh, they been gone, gone, gone for so long.
Did you buy your co-worker a K car, a nice reliant automobile?
A chesterfield. In grade 9.
A green dress?
You might enjoy the 1932 anthology movie “If I Had a Million”, too.
WC Fields was great in that.
I like the Wynne Gibson sequence. (She’s the prostitute.)
OT: I’m pleased to see 80% possession and ultimately abysmal failure.
Glorious!
Excellent, our Canadian PSYOPS program continues to destroy American workplace morale and trust…Barenaked Ladies and Bryan Adams were merely test systems, with Nickelback and Justin Bieber a continuation of our long-term memetics. Just wait until they see what we’ve got ready for the 2020s…
I mean…
Pay no attention to us up here, we’re so polite and nice, eh?
*Shifty eyes*
How ’bout getting off these antibiotics
How ’bout stopping eating when I’m full up
How ’bout them transparent dangling carrots
How ’bout that ever elusive kudo
Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence
Self-MOD: Sorry that was obnoxiously long. Trimmed, full lyrics here. Music video here so you can relieve your angsty mid-90s phase.
1995 me loved Alanis.
She and Celine sell albums en masse.
Ugh, you’re dead to me
Wasn’t Nickelback used to threaten unruly prisoners in the wilderness up there awhile back?
Yes, then we realized that it was a human rights abuse. Still letting Nickelback tour in the U.S. though.
And y’all claim to be a peaceful nation.
Where do Alanis Morissette and Celine Dion fit into this?
Intermediate social agitators. Think of them as the chlorine and mustard gas to Nickelback and Bieber’s sarin and VX.
The last links thread on Tamir Rice reminded me of the most oblivious anti-gun article ever written in response to such an incident, in the UK Guardian :
Death by Gentrification : The Killing that Shamed San Francisco
Briefly, Alex Nieto was a security worker who open carried a taser with a pistol grip, in a hip holster, for work. He was eating food in a park near his house in San Francisco when some neighbors got freaked the fuck out and made 911 calls reporting a man openly carrying a gun in the park.
No. Alex Nieto died because the statistically likely to be very liberal and very anti-gun people who saw his supposed gun as menacing called the police, who then saw his supposed gun as menacing and shot him repeatedly.
They weren’t afraid of Alex Nieto the scary Latino guy. They were afraid of Alex Nieto, the scary guy with a gun.
That the Guardian writer was able to craft this entire article questioning fear based motivations for reporting him without ever mentioning that gun phobia which drove it all is amazing to me. It never occurs to them that the terror guns inspire in people comes from seeing them only as instruments of aggressive violence, and as totem objects only carried by very bad people.
In the progressive mind, everything is racism.
I actually understand why this happens, too. Racism is a complete get out of jail free card. It absolves you of 100% of the culpability in any situation regardless of context. It doesn’t matter how much of a raving douchebag moron you really are, if the other party is racist against you there’s nothing you could have done differently or can do in the future to alleviate the problem. When I first started dating my girlfriend, who is black, I got caught up in this too. Whenever a person slighted her or us as a couple, I would immediately think ‘dey mus be rayciss!’, because how could anyone not LOVE us? I mean, we’re fucking PERFECT! Look at us. Nope, definitely racism. Case closed. It wasn’t til I thought about it harder and realized ‘ya know, this is a cop out and I should stop doing it unless I have real proof that it’s racially motivated, cause otherwise I am blinding myself to the real truth that maybe I am or we are doing something to upset people that we could fix.’ Most people lack the inward reflection needed to see that or even the self awareness to ever consider themselves wrong sometimes, which is where this line of thinking comes from. I honestly don’t know how to combat it either, cause you sure as hell can’t make people smarter or more self aware.
HEY!
That’s not NICE.
I’ve always thought that we could get more information out of Khalid Sheik Mohammed via “bombarding him with Barenaked Ladies on repeat” than “waterboarding and cheerios-colonics”
I’m reminded of this SNL sketch (too lazy to find video) in which Helen Hunt and Will Ferrell force Hansen to listen to Mmmmbop until they break down.
I remember that one. Any musical group that can take that kind of self deprecation has at least a few redeeming qualities.
One of the Hansens got into a band with Cheap Trick’s drummer so he can’t be all that bad.
Something that has always deeply disturbed me is the fact that the Dust Brothers produced that song.
Something that has always impressed me is that the Dust Brothers website has literally never been updated since 1998. and its pretty much still awesome.
TW = Epilepsy
Apparently it’s a Flash-only website.
.. and if you have Netscape 4.77, it has an animated, color-cycling cursor!
Sports Corner: Rumor has it that Seattle signed Eddie Lacy to run their new conditioning program, Cross-Fat.
It pays to be fat for some people.
Eddie Lacy?
*widens gaze*
I’m starting to get the distinct feeling Canadians raped Sugar Free.
Only his ears. There’s probably an ICD 10 code for that.
I don’t know what he’s complaining about, it could have been so much worse.
GREATEST CANADIAN SONG…EVER:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ILAdKBicMc
“The uploader has not made this video available in your country.”
Where do I send the thank you note?
You guys go through that crap too?
Try this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ILAdKBicMc
If not, just look up Kim Mitchell ‘Patio Lanterns’.
So much for NAFTA eh?
You posted the same link twice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQYEOeC2nPg
You call yourself a Canadian libertarian.
That’s great there. Better than BNL or Nickleback anyways.
Canadian Content.
On the subject, of Canadian psyops, let’s trigger Ireland. Fuck them and their little hats and their potatos and their inferior “whisky”.
let’s trigger Ireland. Fuck them and their little hats and their potatos and their inferior “whisky”.
Hell yes. Get pictures of Canadians dumping Guinness into the gutter and someone photoshop Zoolander pooping on the Pope.
Better rage could be induced by tea bagging the pint first and then dumping it in the gutter. Burn a pile of paper shamrocks and chuck a midget dressed as a leprechaun in a dumpster. It’s like you people don’t know how to troll.
Do it while wearing a completely orange outfit and screaming “GOD SAVE GOOD KING WILLY HUP HUP!!!”
Looking into it, apparently bills to ban dwarf-tossing failed in Canadian provinces, but have succeeded in American states. Including Florida, of all places.
Land of the Free.
Apparently Florida’s brought it back, but heavily regulated. Way to make fun boring guys.
I always assume laws like that only show up in states where the problem is the “worst.” Like Kentucky banning first cousin sexual relations and California not really caring.
I believe Canada ranking higher than the US on the “freedom” scale came up yesterday. Maybe dwarf tossing is one of the criteria.
But.. guns?
Link broken.
Like my soul.
Part of the link isn’t broken.
What happens there, I know not. It looks like I didn’t have a close a tag, but why the dick would the link work in first place.
I think we can all take comfort in the fact I didn’t Gilmore the whole thread, turning everything after my fuckup blue.
First, a joke:
An Englishman, a Scot and an Irishman sit down at a pub together and each orders a pint. Right as the Englishman is about to take his first sip, a fly lands right in the middle of his drink. The Englishman, disgusted, picks the fly out of the beer, slams the beer down on the bar, and says “Bloody hell the drink is ruined! I can’t drink this!” The fly then wakes up, flies around for a bit, and lands in the Scotsman’s beer. The Scot flicks the fly out of the beer, says “Ah well, no since ta waste ah gud drank!” and keeps going. Finally the fly lands in the Irishman’s pint. The Irishman immediately stops drinking, grabs the fly by the wings, holds him over the bar and starts screaming “SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!”
I told this joke to a couple of Irishmen once. When I got to the punchline, they paused for a second then said “Ya, go on…”
How do the Welsh fit into this joke?
Oh they were out back fucking sheep, of course.
No, they were taking a leek.
Shit, you won.
“The Railtown Cafe is now extending a booze-soaked olive branch to the citizens of Ireland. Anyone with a valid Irish passport who swings by the pub on St. Patrick’s Day will get a free pint of “nicely poured” Guinness and a shot of Jameson whisky to boot.”
Sounds like national-origin discrimination to me.
ALTERNATE JOKE: You know who else antagonized entire countries?
Barack Obama?
Mitsuo Fuchida?
Borat?
Ban Ki-moon?
Donald J Trump?
So I don’t know if this has been covered yet, but apparently John “5 Time Winner” McCain called Rand Paul a Russian stooge today.
I have some rather liberal friends in AZ; the fact that McCain is still their senator is something I needle them about. I’ll be glad when the asshat dies though.
I’m looking for the video. It sounds like Johnny was raging, complete with spittle and raised forehead veins, from the description I read.
Too bad he couldn’t have a cerebral hemorrhage on the Senate floor.
I posted this in the other thread but I feel I have not be properly cleansed.
Okay, so confession time: I voted for McCain in the last election. I did it because I was genuinely convinced Hillary was going to win and I wanted to put as many Republican congressmen in her way as possible. This was my same line of reasoning for voting for Arpaio again. If a new assault weapons ban came down, Arpaio at least had the stones to tell the .gov to piss up a rope. Thankfully Arpaio got shitcanned but I die inside a little every time I think about McCain.
Eddie can probably recommend how many Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s you need to get absolution for that.
Um…that doesn’t sound like a sin. Not every dubious exercise of political judgment is a sin, you know.
Now, if you voted for McCain because you hoped he would start a thermonuclear war, that would be sinful.
But voting for him to block Hillary?
The first election in which I was eligible to vote was McCain/Obama in ’08. Voted for McCain. Don’t regret it given the choices. I was in a state where it didn’t come close to mattering anyway.
Oh I voted for McCain in 08 as well. That was back before most people knew what a next level shitbag he is. What I find hilarious about that is how so many claimed he was too old to be president. John Mccain was 70 years old in 2008, the EXACT SAME FUCKING AGE HILLARY CLINTON IS NOW!
Have I mentioned that liberals are hypocrites?
I’ve known it since at least 2000.
I knew he was a shitbag at the time, I was just afraid Obama would be as bad as he actually ended up being and thought a Republican would be a better alternative considering the composition of congress.
And of course the age issue was completely different this time because Hillary is in phenomenal health. Not senile and decrepit like McCain and Reagan were.
My first election was ’92; didn’t vote since I was in college. Voted Libertarian ever since.
Yes, that means I voted for Bob Barr. Ewww.
Yes, that means I voted for Bob Barr. Ewww.
There are worse things in life.
True enough; I didn’t vote for Obama. Or *uck Schumer.
I’ve cast protest votes in every election since then. Including protest votes against the protest votes. So I guess I’ve redeemed myself.
My first election was 2008. I had recently decided I was a libertarian and happily voted for Bob Barr. I’ve since put my orphans on double quotas as a means of atonement.
McCain looks like a dessicated corpse now and his brain gave up the ghost a while ago. If he wasn’t such a sack of shit egomaniac he’d keep his mouth shut because he’s so repulsive that he hurts his own cause every time he speaks.
That would be very difficult, considering no one, including him, knows what ‘his own cause’ is anymore.
Anything that helps with arms sales is his cause.
Anything that gets Lindsey Graham to blow him.
I don’t think any amount of makeup could make McCain look like a 10 year old choirboy.
It occurs to me that if Sugarfree had just stayed in bed like Brian Wilson did, he wouldn’t have had that bad experience.
Or if it had been one week since he took ecstasy.
Its been one week since you took the e
and got mad at your co worker hippies
three days since they laughed at you
and said “you got pissed off just like I said you would”
I do not accept this notion that BNL have any album other than Gordon.
Excellent.
Pinch Me was a jam. Deal with it.
Warning, a legless dangerous reptile is loose in Ocala
You aren’t supposed to tell us about your secret agents.
He blew his cover. No you mammals can deal with him as you see fit
So… he shed?
It’s already on the news. The guy who was keeping it got a big fine.
There is some dude keeping a big ass cobra? I thought I heard it was a cobra.
Not that surprising. The local pet store here a bunch of crazy shit including 2 king cobras he has on display. He has all the permits and everything but good lord the damage one of those could do if it got out.
It’s OK, just release a bunch of mongooses (mongeese?).
Of course, then you have mongeese on the loose, so then you have to release Bengal tigers to eat the mongeese.
And yes, there is a simple way to get rid of tigers: cobras!
disregard: I thought you meant someone found it and was keeping it.
In other news, Venezuela is out of bread. Govt blames kulaks and wreckers.
I wonder if John Oliver will blame this on oil prices instead of socialism.
The government says that bread shortages are caused by bakers who use their allocated flour to bake pastries instead of baguettes or loaves of bread, resulting in long lines at bakeries.
That’s almost as good as the time they accused the CIA of hiring local stooges to buy up all the medicine and bury it in the woods.
If I won the Powerball tonight item 5 on my to do list would be to airdrop crates full of loaded AKs over Caracas.
Please include lamppost-ready ropes.
Btw Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone is the best Canadian album of all time.
A mask is less effective as a disguise if you weigh 300 pounds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14Lz1QPLqm4
I wondered what Michael Moore was up to lately.
What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Alternately: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
I remember those commercials.
Soldier Convicted of Murdering Taliban Fighter in Afghanistan is Dramatically Cleared
Murder is bad, NAP and whatnot, but I just can’t get too worked up about this.
I’m just kind of impressed he decide to act out an action movie cliche in real life.
Reminds of this one time in basic training….[harp strumming sound effect]
Drill Sgt: Once the shooting stops, you treat the most seriously wounded first.
soldier: Even if they are enemy?
Drill Sgt: Yes.
soldier: But why, drill sgt?
Drill Sgt: Because we’re the good guys, stupid!
She was a medic before she was a drill sgt. She fixed my booboo when I jabbed the thumb clip of a practice grenade through my thumb like a fish hook.
As I am fond of saying: If you’re gonna do something wrong, do it right.
“Treatment” for Taliban being:
1. Move over to combattant. Determine whether he has any vital signs
2. If found, kneel on their chest hard with one knee, with thumb and first finger on carotid arteries until test 1 fails.
DAMHIKT
You were allowed to ask questions and *she* patched you up instead of telling you to fuck off and die? Different world…
So, he shoots the guys, mutters a cold one liner, then turns to the camera and says “You saw nothing.” Yup, definitely best and brightest.
Pretty much every major Allied power executed a lot of POWs.
That was in a ‘good war’ where we were the ‘good guys’.
Ever watch the beginning of Saving Private Ryan. Lots of war crimes in that one.
Pretty much the only job the guy with the BAR ever had to do.
Kinda foolish to have spoken, really.
All he had to claim was he saw a ‘furtive movement’ and it would have been a simple ‘oopsie’.
Beer for tonight
I had Crasher in the Rye from Clown Shoes once. It was grrrrreat!
I haven’t had that one yet. Clown Shoes is consistently good.
That is the most pretentious sounding beer I have ever seen. Does it come with a little mount for when you put the one bottle you drank on top of your kitchen cabinets?
No. I must be doing something wrong. I’ve had more than one bottle and I’ve not saved any of them.
I was looking at homes to buy once and the owners of one of them had a bar in the basement. They had a section of shelves on one wall that had literally thousands of different empty beer bottles on it. It was cool, but there’s no way I can do that, the wife will throw them away. Or she’ll just bug me about it until I give up and throw them away. I have a couple of really cool empty growlers on the top of the fridge and I have some antique beer bottles, which are awesome cool. But my attempt at saving a bunch of empty bottles didn’t work out.
I’ve got some bottles and growlers up on my shelves in my kitchen. Stuff from travels, stuff from Unibroue, and some Trappist places. This beer, the Clown Shoes beer, is good but I’m not going to save the bottle after I drink it.
Collectaholic Nick has spent 38 years amassing an astonishing collection that most people would consider plain old rubbish. Nick has more than 7,000 British beer cans that line the walls like modern art. They are all housed in a carefully controlled setting, with the curtains closed and temperature maintained.
assholes could have had a Shiner Boch unkown and written much of the same pretentious shit.
Can I have one? All I have is this regular stout.
I hit the wrong submit. This one. It’s good, but it’s not conquering neighboring lands to spread its sphere of influence.
Bell’s makes good stuff.
I can now get some of Bell’s line in Massachusetts. It popped up last year. Before then, I had to go back to Pennsylvania to get it.
It is good, I just really wanted an Imperial Stout, but this was the only stout I could find. It’s hard to find much in the Not an IPA or Overly Hopped Other class in northern Brooklyn.
There was something Gilmore said earlier today I’ve been thinking about, that is how to persuade people with different moral priorities.
For example, is there a way to sell freedom of association to someone who believes in suing bakeries that refuse to make cakes for gay weddings?
Is there a way to convince a socialist that the income tax is a bad idea?
The only chance I see is to try to show them that the status quo brings about a worse result with respect to their beliefs than the alternative. So the best way to convince a socialist that markets are best is to show him that socialist countries have an even more rigid social class with even more inequality.
The video Drake posted in the AM linx is a pretty good sell for free association. I’ll repost.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8wxl35-Img
I think they’ll twist and hand wave claiming those countries aren’t trying real socialism.
Maybe it is the types of people I met, but I don’t think you’ll convince many of these people, if any. They care about their goals and achieving their goals. Everything else be damned.
Many people become personally invested in their ideologies. Once that happens, admitting their ideology is wrong is equivalent to admitting a core part of their personality is flawed as well. Most people simply cannot cope with that realization.
I don’t get it. They tolerate the socialism-lite that we already practice, they claim that known shitholes like Venezuela aren’t socialisming hard enough, but socialisming even harder = paradise? How does that work?!
I didn’t say they were smart or consistent or anything like that.
How does that work?!
It isn’t about thinking.
The most horrible periods of my childhood just flashed before my eyes. Thanks a lot.
We need an ‘Ask Frank’ segment.
They care about their goals and achieving their goals. Everything else be damned.
I think that is a good way to put it, but I would add, many who would say they are not socialists argue for the goal of fairness. It is not fair that someone can get better healthcare than I can. It is not fair that the really rich guy has more money than I do.
It is difficult to argue the realities of life with people who live in a perpetual state of jealousy of more successful people, and that life, even in a country that avails one the opportunity to achieve anything one sets their mind to that sometimes life is not going to be “fair”.
I myself do not suffer from this, as I am really good at being less than average and excel in that in every way possible. I argue, the immorality of taking from someone even as mediocre as I am, to support the goals of the average “fairness” evangelizer is immoral. That and fuck off slaver.
I can’t take a man seriously that doesn’t know how to thread comments.
I’m not saying it’s impossible, but consider this. Thomas Sowell is a pretty bright man. He was taught economics by Milton Friedman. Yet he was still a socialist. The only thing that changed him was seeing how government worked from the inside. So I guess all we need to do is get half the people in the country a doctorate level education in economics and firsthand experience with Leviathan.
I prefer to think of it as “threading-challenged”
Coming from you, I assume that means you have a problem with my wardrobe.
that is fucking perfect – roflamo
Mugged by reality then.
Thatcher hit it on the head in that YT clip (not linking due to phone): they don’t care if the poor are worse off, so long as they can pull the rich down a peg or ten.
This one
OT (poll): Which U.S. Constitutional Amendment is the most important to you?
I argue in favor of the 2nd. Without it, all the rest are just words on paper. With it, no matter how bad it gets, the rest can be taken back.
Second, no questions. If the guns go eventually everything else does too.
Agreed.
Oh, I don’t know. Let me peruse them: The smartestest President we have ever had said that guns are easier to get than books. I know books are pretty easy to get which is testament to the 1st being alive and well so, I am not worried about that one either. The 3rd hasn’t came up in awhile, and the 4th is already dead, the 5th only applies to congress people, corrupt bureaucrats and staffers, and eminent domain is HA! I have no smart ass comment on the 6th or the 7th, but the 8th died by electrocution years ago, the 9th only gets me laughed at, and the tenth died years ago as well. 13th is a good one, I don’t have a good grasp on the 14th because I don’t get how it is ignored, and the 16th should be thrown into the depths of Mordor. The 17th needs to be revoked. I can tolerate the 19th so long as they learn their place and quit marching with stupid hats. The 21st, ya, the 21st is the best.
I just re-read that and hope all understand the “learn their place” snark is a joke. One never knows.
We’re made of stern stuff here. Even the broads.
Especially the broads.
Now see, I was with you until you threw that disclaimer in. Geez.
The first and the 2nd are the most important and all of the rest of them would fall down without those 2. But like you said, without the 2nd, which leftists are trying desperately to get rid of, the first will collapse in no time with the rest to follow shortly.
During my last stint on OKCupid, one of their personality questions was: “Which is more important? The right to keep and bear arms or the right to vote?”.
I answered “The right to keep and bear arms”.
I stumbled on the profile of a woman who answered “The right to vote” and then explained it with, “If you lose the right to vote you’ll lose the right to bear arms.” I didn’t write her.
I always made it a rule of dating to never discuss politics with anyone unless things got more serious.
I keep the same rule about work. Unless I get cornered into it and then I’ll be straight up and will not back down. There are some people, I’m sure you know the ones I’m talking about, who are just too overly eager to discuss politics. I had to tell one of them recently who just had to jump up and down all the time ‘look at me, I’m so liberal, no one is more liberal than me, I’m so liberal!’, just to get them to stop it, ‘I’m probably more socially liberal than you are. But I wouldn’t describe myself as a liberal’. Wow, will that ever get their attention and settle down their giddiness a little. So the person looks confused and asks ‘but what… no one is more socially liberal than me! … what…. So I just said ‘I’m a libertarian’. The person looked truly lost for a moment and then said ‘Oh, I … I umm… I know a guy like you!’. And then I changed the subject. But if they want to push it, I won’t back down.
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm glad he’s dead
Also =Razorfist on Maddow’s “Geraldo-Vault”-Moment
That’s good. Not his best, but always appreciate a razorfist link.
The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave
The old bag just cannot go silently into the night. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen anyone who wouldn’t just give it up by now. She’s truly power mad.
Meh, I’d take her over Deblasio. Yeah, it’s that sad here.
Well, there are some words you’re going to really regret if it happens. She’ll go completely mad and burn the entire city to the ground trying to nuke Trump Towers.
Deblasio is trying to turn NYC into Venezuela. She could hardly do worse.
Hillary will turn it into post-apocalypse Venezuela.
I actually imagine post apocalypse Venezuela to be considerably nicer than present day Venezuela.
That makes sense. Post-apocalypse Venezuela will be the new poster child for libertarian government according to leftist twats, much like post-apocalyptic Somalia has been.
She can’t do anything else. She was born a parasite and she will wither and die without a government artery to siphon blood from.
Why would she want to be mayor of NYC? Nobody’s gonna pay the mayor of NYC millions of dollars in bribes.
“Here’s a donation to your charity, now can I get a carriage ride around Central Park?”
2 reasons I would suspect.
1. Trump has property in NYC and she figures she can fuck with him in one way or other.
2. She sees it as a springboard for her 2020 presidential run. As if being mayor of NYC will win over those fly-over bastards who caused her to lose last time… err, I mean Putin.
In 2020, she wll be what, 103 years old? Not that the Orange Leader is a spring chick.
Trump vs Hillary 2020: This time, it’s personal!
YES
Hoping for an improvement this week, HM.
What, too many exposed knee shots last time?
Forget it, HM. There are some men you just can’t reach.
All men like curvy women, the only difference is that some of us admit it. The skinny model thing is a historical outlier.
Thicc is more a state of mind, right?
That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
Of course, while we are on the subject.
Can’t be seen too often.
When discussing the music of the frigid north, you have to turn up the heat.
I have one of their albums – it says it’s from 2002 and I remember liking it when I bought it but I don’t think it has ever come up on my iPod. Didn’t know they are Canadian.
Rand Paul working for Putin
And there you have it, Glibertarians. Rand Paul is now a Trumputin. They got him.
Has anyone seen a better argument yet for term limits? Because I haven’t.
You know who else wanted to go to war over the Balkins?
Lindsey Graham?
Joe Maddon?
Every third person living in the Balkans?
So tomorrow I’m meant to write an in-class essay debating whether Lord Elgin is a villain or a hero for his preservation slash absconding with the pediment sculptures from the Parthenon, and whether we should support or deny the effort by Greece to re-obtain them. I’m barely literate in this area (or any area) of historical criticism, but given what I know about Greece and its relationship with the Turks at the time, I’m partial to Mr. Bruce on this matter. Given the state of the landmark and the Ottoman’s treatment of it, it doesn’t seem outrageous that the kind Earl did what he had to in order to preserve them. And it seems outrageous to repudiate his efforts by returning them at great risk and cost to the bankrupt Greeks. He didn’t steal them from a sovereign country, he rescued them from almost certain oblivion.
Well, that’s the same kind of argument as you sometimes hear when some collector turns up with a Rembrandt that his grandfather bought for a pittance to “save this glorious artwork from the Nazis”. It’s kind of hard to prove the alternate history.
But given that the Parthenon was turned into a gunpowder magazine by the Ottoman Turks, it’s easy to imagine that the alternative to them being “borrowed” by Elgin would have been more acceptable, especially if there had been an accident.
A lot of my argument is going to rely on the fact that Greece was not at the time a sovereign nation, that Elgin by all accounts was granted permission by the Turks, and frankly, if not for British antiquarians, who, then? We can spend all day and night bemoaning the fate of the Greeks under Ottoman rule, but where are their precious marbles today?
The Greeks probably only want them back so they can pawn ’em anyway.
Did his actions help him to get pussy? That is the question.
So, I guess, the answer is ‘Yes’.
Then hero
Bottom of thread hangover story: 1990 and I lived with 3 other dudes in a house off campus. One Friday night, after coming home from $2 Long Island Iced Tea night, I couldn’t find my car. Guess when you’re so drunk you can’t find 2 tons of steel it’s probably a good idea to walk. It was well below zero so I zipped my coat up to the very top and pulled my arms inside of it to keep warm. Of course I tripped and did a face plant on the side walk. The cold and Iced Teas had me comfortably numb so I didn’t really feel that my lips had swollen up to the size of pontoon floats.
Somehow, I managed to stumble home and when I walked in the living room, two of my roommates saw me and thought I had gotten my ass kicked. “Let’s get the fucker who did that to Squidmund!” (My nickname which is another story). Being liquored up themselves, they flew out of the house to confront whatever unlucky bastard that might be walking around at that time. Too drunk to correct their misconception, I just wanted to get to bed. After navigating the stairs, I took a breather in the hallway and sat down. That’s when the third roommate, a straight-laced forestry major, came out of his room to take a whiz. “Did you take out your contacts?” He asked. “No” I answered, which was accurate since I wasn’t actually wearing any. He had heard rumors about how awful it can be to sleep with contacts in, so he pushed me down on the floor and, with his knee in my chest, began to pry open my eyelids and pull on my eyeballs. After about 5 minutes of this, he said, “I can’t find them.” and helped me up.
I made it into my roon and now that I had thawed out and my face was screaming in pain and my eyeballs were on fire, I grabbed my bookcase to brace myself for a second. Bad idea. I leaned over backwards and the entire 5 shelf unit tumbled on top of me. Eventually I emerged from the pile of books and crawled into bed. Lying there with every cell in my body wrapped in pain, my stomach decided to empty it’s contents. The only thought was, “fuck it” and I simply drifted to sleep.
The next morning was the worst hangover of my life in myriad ways. Oh, and the two roommates did manage to beat the hell out of some dude who swore he didn’t know what they were talking about.
I genuinely laughed out loud when I got to that part.
For me it was the bookcase. My worst hangover ever unfortunately ended with me in my dorm room with way more then 3 people witnessing it, but otherwise there are some remarkable similarities that bring it home.
One night, probably 17, passed out in a ditch beyond a club on qualuuds. Buddy drags me out and takes me home to parents house. Leans me against the front door, rings the doorbell and takes off. We had this little corrugated wall in the foyer which my head went through when my parents opened the door and I fell inside. Rough night.
I have too many of these stories.
The one that comes to mind right now, not the craziest, is one night I for some reason decided it was a good idea to drive to my friends house at 3am in the morning, drunk as fuck. I pulled into his drive and started walking to his front door. The next thing I remember is that I was looking at stars. A lot of stars in a very clear December night. I thought ‘wow, these stars are beautiful’. Then I realized something wasn’t quite right and thought ‘What the fuck happened and why does my back hurt? Where the fuck am I?’
My friend had had a septic tank problem and they had dug up his yard where the tank was and taken out the tank for replacement. I fell in the hole, it was at least 7-8 feet deep.
I managed to climb out of the hole and made it up to his door and knocked. He came to the door, stoned and drunk as hell, music blaring in the background, and said ‘Wow man, I can’t believe you showed up! I have some killer weed, come on in!’. I said ‘dude, there’s a big fucking hole in your yard’. He said ‘OMG! Fuck, did you fall in there! Shit, are you ok?’ LOL. We partied the night away.
The good old days.
Lol. Yeah, I’m with you bro. Too many crazy stories, lucky to be alive. Those were the good old days:) Glad they’re over: )
Admit it. This was recent, right Squidmund?
Feels like it. Having some dude fishing around your eye socket with his greasy fingers isn’t something you easily forget.
Yeah, I quite drinking Long Islands after several nights waking up outside. Related. Had some friends show up at our party house one night after getting their ass kicked by a bunch of dudes. Led us to the house where their attackers supposedly hung out. After I walked up and kicked the front door in and entered the empty house, they figured out that they weren’t sure that was the right house. Fucking idiots could have got me shot for nothing. Stupid on my part regardless. Young and dumb.
That’s a great hangover story.
We all have one, don’t we. I have another one about a girl that must have had the most bruised hoo-ha ever. I’d have to guess what her hangover was like, because I was long gone by morning.
I preferred thinking your roommates took out their frustration on the bookshelf that did you in. HAVE AT THEE, RUINOUS SHELF OF LEATHERBOUND SHEAVES.
If he was a college student it probably would have been more correct to say “take that last semesters curriculum!”
Were you drinking the Long Island’s at the Red Shed? I overindulged there many times in college from 91-93.
Nothing that global warming cannot solve
So, global warming is going to save us! It’s going to shrink horses to the size of house cats! Which means humans will shrink down to the size of mice. So houses will be the size of shoe boxes and our cars the size of toy cars. Which means, we’ll never run out of land or food, or fossil fuels! A head of cabbage will feed an entire village! All hail global warming!
Your link didn’t work but I’d totally take some global warming about now
One more try
So I guess Costanza has another excuse for shrinkage.
Gonna be 78 tomorrow in the Mile High. Suck it, left coasters.
Bwaahaaahahaha
Oh, the east coast is on the right. Doesn’t matter, I stand by my evil laugh
The left coast is so left that even the east coasters refer to it as the left coast.
The east coast is on the left when facing south. Both coasts are the left coast.
There’s also the less talked about but strong post-rock scene in the 00s in Canada. One of my favorites.
Or if we really want to get weird, there’s GY!BE, who put on a fantastic show a couple years back on a reunion tour. Special shoutout to my wife for going with me while pregnant.
Bonus Canadianism: One of the members of Godspeed is Sophie Trudeau, just not that Sophie Trudeau.
Damn, I didn’t know they were Canadian either.
Are you one of the NYC/Brooklynites? I can’t keep everything about everyone here straight. If so, did you see the show at the Music Hall of WIlliamsburg a couple years back? They put on a great show.
Yes, Brooklyn. But I only got into them maybe last year via a friend. And I hate to admit that I haven’t listened as much as I would like because I do most of my music listening during my commute and they just aren’t “commute friendly” so it never comes up on my iPod. But I do want to make more time for them some day.
They’re definitely a time and place type of band, not for everyday listening. Some of the members formed A Silver Mt. Zion, which is a bit different but also worth a listen.
I don’t know anything Canadian since I moved away from the border in the 90s, except I kind of dig Silverstein thanks to American Idol.
I learned about most of the bands I posted in college in Chicago around the turn of the millennium. I only found out later they were Canadian.
Also, Silverstein’s not bad, but that guy is terrible.
Oh, totally horrible but I was intrigued so I looked them up. But yeah, living in Buffalo those years means I know a *lot* of Canadian bands from that era, and almost nothing that came after.
Saw Silverstein play in Denver once. Think they opened for Senses Fail. Good show.
I’ll give Canada credit for RUSH, but the Bieber and Nickeback thing totally negates it.
Nickleback, damnit. Come, oh great and merciful gawds of Glibetaria, have mercy on us poor earthlings and bestow upon us the good fortune of a preview feature.
Still wrong, it’s Nickelback.
You just want Nikki back.
Not even.
Even though Trump is not a libertarian by any means, at least give him credit for this.
Trump puts denier in charge of EPA, denier gets down to business
No, that isn’t so.
Wait, what isn’t so? Trump IS a libertarian? Pruitt isn’t a denier?
That’s not correct, either.
Hitler?
It is clear that this is unacceptably high for Kamala.
Kamala?
Could be. She is wearing pasties though, so I can’t tell for sure.
It’s clear that Kamala is unacceptably high.
“Denier” is such an awful smear, as if it isn’t completely obvious that they intend to link it to holocaust denial. Why do you want to exterminate the human race with your skepticism?
What is slightly absurd is that what Pruitt said is boringly factual and not at all controversial.
we’re so steeped in lies and hyperbole that “normal” looks like some revolutionary thing.
All he said was it was a meal fit for Jehovah. But blasphemy is blasphemy so we have to stone him.
Okay so I’m in a Pot Limit Omaha tournament and trying to put this guy out. I get him all in and have much the better of it. However the flop hits him and he doubles up.
A few hands later I get him all in again and I have him just about as crushed as you can in PLO but yet the flop gives him a stupid little straight and he doubles up and now out chips me.
Finally I do it again and again he is crushed in terms of starting hands. This time it’s a cheap baby flush and he knocks me out.
What really pissed me off was that he said “gg” (good game) in the text box. Now you donkey asshole you don’t get to say shit to me. Just hang you’re stupid fucking fish head and realize that you suck and I hope a car hits you in the near future you piece of shit.
Go fucking die, you very likely child-toucher.
gg my ass.
Is that you Phil?
This is one of the reasons I only ever played online until the government decided I wasn’t allowed to do that. I have trouble controlling my emotions in situations like that, so I start playing like shit. Much easier to calm myself down and get back to business online.
The other reason being that they kick you out of the casino when you whip your dick out.
Wait a minute. I thought you only have to get your dick out when someone shoots a primate with a name. Why is there a primate in the casino and why did someone shoot it? I can’t keep up with this shit.
Who will regulate it?
You know, this is always the first question I ask myself when there’s any new science development. Who will regulate it? Nothing is more important than that, because I freaking love science!
Who the fuck thinks that way? Hey I just came up with a cure for cancer! Hey tha… oh, wait, wait, calm down…. we have to figure out how to get the government in on it first.
Well, there are moral questions you know. If you start curing cancer, what is the cost to society? Too many people alive at once could increase global warming. And global warming is bad. Because.
From Tam Keel’s blog:
http://booksbikesboomsticks.blogspot.com/2017/03/overheard-in-office.html
OMWC is a demented fuck. That is all.
It’s SugarFree’s fault.
Do you have stars in your eyes…..if you know what I mean….
I’m ashamed at all of you that this did not make this thread.
THIS did not make the thread.
That’s because it’s stupid Canadians and we don’t take kindly.
But this is the CANADIAN MUSIC EDITION!
Shatner’s Canadian right? I’ll say that I prefer his cover of Common People to the original.
So as long as we’re sharing drunk stories, here’s mine. I went out drinking with some friends, on the middle of winter, and after closing time I was grabbing some pizza at a pizza place that specialized in drunken idiots kicked oout of bars at closing time.
So I chatted up a ‘cute’ woman who invited me back to her place. (Her cuteness is somewhat vague, given my BAC at the time.) Anyways, so we get back to her place, we’re making out, and I’m about to seal the deal, when the rational part of my brain points out that I’m about to bang a chick I’ve known for less than an hour, so I should really use some protection. I ask if she has any condoms, and she didn’t have any. OK, fine, I used to live like two blocks away, so I knew the neighborhood. There was a 24/7 gas station less than half a block away. So I told her I would be back in 10 minutes, bundled myself up in my winter gear and trudged through an Austin snow flurry to the local gas station, and bought some Trojans.
Upon leaving the gas station I realized I didn’t know where my would be paramour lived. She lived in an apartment complex, but it was a bigass apartment complex, and I didn’t know her apt #, or even her phone number. So I called a cab to pick me up at the gas station, went home, and slept it off.
So the next day, I’m nursing a massive hangover, it’s still cold and snowy outside, and so I go to put on my hoodie and jacket, when I realize there’s an extra coat there. It turns out back in my inebriated state, when I was putting on my cold weather coats, I wasn’t paying attention, and I put on her jacket by mistake. I left her with whatever is the female equivalent of blue balls, (Blue Clitoris, Blue Vulva?) and accidentally stole her coat. (And if you want to comment that if her coat fit me she must be some sort of Hildabeast, at the time I was 5’8 and weighed around 120 lbs. )
So anyways, if there is some random libertarian woman out there, upset that some guy just walked out to get condoms and never came back, it really was me, not you that was responsible for that debacle. Seducing women to in order to steal their winter coats seems like the worst scam ever.
you people really are the worst
Why are there So many songs about rainbows? and what’s on the other side?