Glibertarians.com 2017 Archive

Fur Fridays

Written by

jesse.in.mb

in

Once upon a time I was visiting the Andong Hahoe Folk Village (안동 하회마을) in Korea. One of the interesting features is a garden full of carved tree stumps in phallic figures. Now dicks have been a good luck charm in cultures the world over. Or at least as a decorative embellishment (see picture to the right). Often dick art is whimsical and Andong is no exception.

A sake serving set (Enoshima, Japan)

Other Korean towns have tales to explain their dick-totems. But unfortunately I don’t know if Hahoe Village does or if it’s just a fun way to pass the time when you have a bunch of tree stumps around. I’ve included a few examples below. So about now you might be wondering why this is showing up in Fur Fridays, no?

Never let your mother cut your hair
Female tree with penis knees

The short version is that I’d planned on doing a Fir Fridays joke and post a bunch of trees (maybe some upskirt shots), but I realized that that probably wouldn’t be that entertaining, then got distracted by a McSweeny’s column about romantic entanglements with a sycamore tree, and then realized I had pictures of me stroking a giant wooden dick carved for good luck, so here we are…reminiscing about that time I walked a dick forest in a historical village outside a small town in The Republic of Korea.

And of course, for those of you with less…ecumenical tastes in wooden genitals, here’s a thing I found when searching for sexy lumberjack pictures (safe for work, but you might get funny looks).

 

The author, c. 2007 with much less beard

Comments

90 responses to “Fur Fridays”

  1. Vhyrus

    Andong Hahoe…

    So many jokes…. so many…

  2. Diane Reynolds

    I posed for that statue.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      I assume you mean the dickhead one?

      1. Diane Reynolds

        No, the one with penis knees.

        1. Gilmore

          You must be related to George Washington

    2. Ted S.

      So what you’re saying is the statue isn’t lifelike at all.

  3. Rufus the Monocled

    You know who need to be banished to this dick park?

    SMU.

    1. Trigger Hippie

      Topical bracket humor, or do you just like seeing Methodists uncomfortable?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Grrrrr.

        1. Trigger Hippie

          Silly Rufus, eveyone knows that the Catholic kids are better players.

    2. westernsloper

      Oh, did Rufus lose a place in the bracket?

      I had planned on filling one out using my scientific method of which mascot would win in a fight, but Sloopy had misleading adverts. I thought we had all day Thurs to fill one out and play started today.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Get to know Rufus: DON’T GIVE ME NO 5TH PLACE RIBBON.

  4. westernsloper

    Female tree with penis knees

    WHAT BATHROOM SHOULD IT USE?

    1. AlmightyJB

      If it pees Maple syrup, wherever it wants.

      1. DOOMco

        many Tobias Funke jokes to be had there.

        1. westernsloper

          I searched and that reference still is beyond my knowledge.

          1. Trigger Hippie

            Cleary your knowledge is in a state of arrested development.

          2. Trigger Hippie

            Tobias Fünke: You’re forgetting, Lindsay, that as a psychiatrist, I was a professional twice over – an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first “analrapist”.

          3. westernsloper

            Well, I saw that, but what does it have to do with maple syrup?

          4. Trigger Hippie

            Hell, I don’t know.

            I’m afraid I just blue myself.

          5. westernsloper

            See, I think Doom is drunk and has gorged himself on too much corned beef.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        That would be ICD-10 code E71.0, by the way.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Fucking hilarious. Lol

        2. jesse.in.mb

          There’s an herb that’s used to encourage increased milk production in mothers, I think it’s fenugreek, but it has the side effect of giving the milk a maple taste.

        3. wchipperdove

          I’m now triggered, as my last ‘real’ job was medical billing. I got out right before that ICD-10 madness, thank Allah.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Oh, and Wood.

  5. Tonio

    I think you managed to troll everyone, Jesse. Well-done.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      I came very close to referencing Treebeard, who tells us that trolls were made in mockery of the ents. Of course, only Los Doyers would care about a detail like that.

    2. westernsloper

      Oh I don’t know Tonio, I am not feeling trolled at all. I would think if one was a triggered sort, they would never hang out in this place.

      Tell me I have to pay taxes to support your giant penis art, then I am trolled. But only because I can do the best penis art and you would be ruining the free market.

  6. Gojira

    Oddly my Korean friends never mentioned the magical cock forest in casual conversation.

    I can’t wait to show them this and ask them why.

    1. Vhyrus

      Too busy screaming and running for their lives, perhaps?

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Have they at least told you about Loveland on Jejudo (제주도)?

      Jeju Loveland: World’s Kinkiest Theme Park? (NSFW PHOTOS)

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      I worked with a French-Canadian Korean years ago. One day he walked in and told us he ate 12 slices of white bread.

      Just a story.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        A deeply moving story, Rufus.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Well it did lead to the comments below.

      2. Vhyrus

        So, I guess that means he was full of wonder.

        1. egould310

          At yeast he was full.

  7. Rhywun

    Woodn’t.

    1. Diane Reynolds

      K. You stumped me with that one.

      1. quincy

        I pine for the day a thread doesn’t splinter into factions.

        1. egould310

          I’m going to leave this thread now, as I see it branching into a series of lame puns.

          1. quincy

            I’m sorry. I like to go against the grain now and then.

        2. jesse.in.mb

          knot more wood jokes! someone needs to go against the grain with this.

          1. quincy

            You beat me to my comment. That’s why you’re so poplar.

    2. Trigger Hippie

      Rhy! Thanks for the Plush link last Friday.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        *Lush

        I haven’t had a screwdriver or two, I swear.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Speaking of lushes…

          1. Trigger Hippie

            *rimshot*

          2. Vhyrus

            It’s always about drinking with you isn’t it.

          3. Trigger Hippie

            Well, considering that you didn’t even to bother to phrase that as a question, yeah.

  8. Derpetologist

    file under: Pakistan, Urdu for “land of assholes”

    Consider the case of Asia Bibi, a Christian who, Ms. Ispahani writes, in 2009 worked as a farm laborer and was “asked by the village elder’s wife to fetch drinking water. Some other female Muslim farmhands reportedly refused to drink the water, saying it was sacrilegious and ‘unclean’ to accept water from Asia Bibi, as a non-Muslim. Asia Bibi took offense, reportedly saying, ‘Are we not human?’ “

    That led to an argument following which she was arrested, convicted of blasphemy and sentenced to death. Salman Taseer, the (Muslim) governor of Punjab advocated on her behalf and against blasphemy laws. Mullahs issued fatwas condemning him and he was assassinated by one of his own bodyguards. Asia Bibi remains in prison.

    …there is now serious discrimination and frequent attacks against non-Sunni Muslims, including Ahmadis (who have been officially declared non-Muslims), Sufis and Shias.

    I raised these issues during a lecture at the University of Karachi. One student threw a shoe at my head. It didn’t make contact but the next day, on the front pages of the country’s newspapers, he was depicted as a hero, standing up for Pakistan’s honor. I was presented less sympathetically.

    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/mar/14/pakistan-a-source-of-islamic-terror/

    Kashmir: Jihadi imam killed, 70,000 people attend his funeral

    Do you think that any of the “Muslim reformers” who are currently enjoying flattery and adulation from the ignorant and hopeful in the U.S. will have 70,000 Muslims attending their funerals? Neither do I. But it is now officially a moral failing on the part of non-Muslims to point out the fact that “extremists” are much more popular with Muslims worldwide than “reformers” are. We are not supposed to notice, and if we do, it makes us jihadis ourselves.

    Meanwhile, how did this imam, who had dedicated his life to understanding Islam correctly, end up becoming a jihad leader? How did he misunderstand the Qur’an’s true, peaceful teachings, that are so very clear to Pope Francis and John Kerry and George W. Bush and myriad other learned mullahs?

    1. Vhyrus

      Okay… not going to Pakistan. Got it.

      For those not in the know (I assume not many here, but just in case): Throwing a shoe in muslim countries is like throwing a dog turd at someone. It doesn’t get any more disrespectful than that.

      1. Gilmore

        Throwing a shoe in muslim countries is like throwing a dog turd at someone

        …lots of fun?

        1. Vhyrus

          Judges? Ooh, sorry… the correct answer is ‘A really good way to get shot.’

          1. Gilmore

            In a Muslim country? I thought that was just “Being American Not a Salafist”.

      2. Raven Nation

        Which is a shame: I’d love to visit some of the ancient sites there.

    2. Diane Reynolds

      It’s nothing compared to the way we treat women in this country.

      /Tavis Smiley.

  9. Derpetologist

    Today’s own goal brought to you by Everyday Feminism:

    “But this [the Confederate flag] isn’t just a matter of “political correctness” (also known as respecting the wishes of others). ”

    Well, if you’re so big on respecting the wishes of others, why are you hassling people about a flag?

    As if any of these shitheels would stop wearing Che shirts if people complained.

    http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/07/confederate-flag-is-racist/

    1. Vhyrus

      I love how she gives the 6 weakest arguments to keep the flag. That article should have been 1 sentence: “First amendment. Now shut your whore mouth and make me a sandwich.”

  10. Derpetologist

    real life PC Principal tries to privilege check random Trump supporters:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMstfINB550

  11. coax

    No dick nipples? How disappointing.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Seems like there’s a market niche not being filled, coax. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.

  12. Derpetologist

    Another gem from Everyday Insanity

    So let’s start at the beginning: Why do people believe this? Why do people think that all Muslims hate queer people?

    I would argue that it’s because that’s the only way they’re portrayed in our media.

    …..

    And like with all things, it’s complicated and nuanced and not one-sided. In Iran, for instance, homosexuality is illegal and you can be executed for it.

    Yep, must be the movies.

    Well, at least they Crusades weren’t mentioned.

    1. Vhyrus

      Link, SF’d, etc.

      1. Derpetologist

        here ya go: http://everydayfeminism.com/2017/03/queer-person-support-muslims/

    2. jesse.in.mb

      I’d fix it but there’s no actual url in the broken html

      1. Vhyrus

        In other news, derpy is drunker than usual.

        1. Ted S.

          You say that as if it’s a bad thing.

        2. Derpetologist

          I’m not as think as you drunk I am, [hiccup].

      2. Raven Nation

        This might be it:

        http://everydayfeminism.com/2017/03/queer-person-support-muslims/

    3. Raven Nation

      From a similar article at the same site:

      “Islam rejects oppression, instead privileging the implicit equality of all humankind. Feminism does the same. In this sense, the two are natural partners.”

      1. Derpetologist

        I’d really like to see the mental gymnastics required to square purdah, burqas, and niqabs with feminism.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        /blank stare.

      3. Suthenboy

        “Islam encourages oppression, privileging the slavers of humankind. Feminism does the same. In this sense, the two are natural partners.”

        That was easy to fix.

    4. Suthenboy

      I am worn out on bullshit and trying to pick apart the lies and bullshit these people spew.

      Feminists arent feminists anymore. They are pinko shitbags pretending to be feminists. They love them some Islam because Islam and socialism see enslavement in very similar terms. They also think that the culture from Islamic countries are the most likely to destabilize society here.

      I am gonna go with what was said earlier – To feminist detestable pieces of shit “shut your fucking mouth and go make me a sammich”

      1. Derpetologist

        “Feminism is just Marxism in drag.”- someone wittier than me

  13. Gilmore

    OT = Look I like these guys (and i think it was someone here who pointed them out at first) but FFS its been like 4 fucking years and they still haven’t even put the bloody engine in.

    They could have crafted a car from Popsicle sticks by this point, but all they’ve done is take the body of an old Mini, weld stuff on it, then grind that stuff down again, and repeat that activity 10,000 times over. It went from being an amusing “build”-show, to something more like “The Prisoner”, where you’re unsure what’s going on any what the purpose is anymore.

    1. Trigger Hippie

      Being a blue-collar asshole who can make cool shit(wasn’t always a PT/Coach, you know), I’ve never understood the appeal of watching other blue-collar assholes make cool shit. To me that was just being at work.

      1. Gilmore

        I think its like a cooking show. Its less about learning something, and more the vicarious pleasure of watching someone do something you enjoy, without the trouble of getting your hands dirty. Obviously, its also about the person (the host) being someone charismatic and interesting to listen to.

    2. Diane Reynolds

      I have a friend like that. He’ll spend years getting… I’ll be generous and say 75% of the way there, then give up in disgust and move on to something else.

    3. mikey

      Thanks. Now I feel totally inadequate with all the shitty welds on my own restoration – and it’s still taking years.
      The is great stuff.

  14. Derpetologist

    FBI Arrests Man Who Allegedly Gave Kurt Eichenwald a Seizure Over Twitter

    In December, a Twitter user using the handle @jew_goldstein tweeted a strobe light .gif at Eichenwald who is an epileptic. Eichenwald claimed the .gif gave him a serious seizure and vowed to track down his anonymous attacker.

    And yet he is still on Twitter.

    Do we have a new crime here? Assault with a deadly .gif?

    1. Ted S.

      He should have posted Mary Hart videos.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      It’s actually interesting to think about legally. If you can prove that he knew Eichenwald had a seizure disorder and sent him a GIF with the specific knowledge that (i) he had GIFs auto-playing (which is stupid) and (ii) the GIF was sent with the knowledge that it would trigger a seizure, I suppose you could make a case for assault.

  15. Derpetologist

    Former ‘Power Ranger’ star Ricardo Medina pleads guilty to killing roommate

    “Power Rangers Samurai” actor Ricardo Medina has pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

    Medina, 38, entered a plea Thursday in Los Angeles County Superior Court to voluntary manslaughter.

    He is facing six years in state prison.

    Medina had been charged with murder and faced 26 years to life in prison if convicted on that charge.

    Prosecutors say Medina stabbed Joshua Sutter in the abdomen with a sword two years ago at their house in Green Valley, a mountain town north of Los Angeles.

    The two had argued over Medina’s girlfriend and Medina initially claimed the stabbing was in self defense.

    Kill somebody, plead guilty, and get 6 years? Damn.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Burying the lede- which ranger was he?

      (Red ranger on one of the newer spinoff Power Ranger series, oh and FUCKING AUTOPLAY VIDEO)

  16. Derpetologist

    Bald murderer allowed to wear toupee in prison

    Philip John Smith’s toupee was part of his disguise when he fled the country, and, on his recapture, authorities confiscated his rug, too.

    But Smith – serving a life sentence for murdering the father of a boy he had sexually abused – said the toupee was an “artwork” integral to his self-worth. A High Court judge agreed, saying Smith’s “fundamental right to freedom of expression was ignored.”

  17. Derpetologist

    Speedtrap: good sound, cool cover art
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPSTWJm7oBA

    It’s a guy shooting a guitar-shaped Gatling gun.

    1. Vhyrus

      That’s more like a belt fed guitar. A gatling gun has multiple barrels.

  18. butt-head

    *ahem* Uh. Hey.

    (Jesse is a cutie.)

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