Millennial Hipster Clothing Site to join Jet.com and Walmart Family

All that the light touches came from Modcloth

You might be wondering why this is relevant–it’s because fully 90% of my wardrobe is from Modcloth, including the dress I  wore to our wedding. So it’s relevant to me and you all get to read about it. I can promise some delicious salty tears, but if that’s not enough, go ahead and skip down to the comments and we can discuss why there are no libertarian women.

Modcloth announced on Friday via tweet and blog post that they “are joining the Jet.com and Walmart family.” What does this mean? According to the blog:

This will give us the necessary resources and support that we need as a business to grow. Growth allows us to reach more women, grow our community, and amplify our message. Our mission to help our customers feel like the best version of themselves continues. And our commitment to inclusivity continues. Our amazing team continues. And we can open more stores — in your hometown! I hope you will continue to join us as well on this next phase of our journey together.

Brought to you by Modcloth

If you’re wondering how receptive Modcloth’s client base is, you need look no further than the replies to the tweet or the comments in the blog. There’s a lot of complaints about Walmart’s anti-union policies (oh nooooooo), their lack of respect for women (lolwut?), and how Walmart is just bad for ‘Murica (m’kay?). One person even goes so far as to say that this “marks the death of Modcloth.” Regardless of the specific complaint, the overarching message is the same–goodbye/unsubscribe/unfollow. I could not find one positive comment. I’d leave one myself, but I suspect I’d just get shouted down. At least no one found Jet.com offensive.

I highly doubt I’ll ever see a brick-and-mortar store in my town, but I love shopping at Modcloth.com. While I find a lot of their products unnecessarily trendy–I can’t stand mustaches and manatees on everything–they also tend to offer clothing that I think could be described as timeless and/or classic. I’m looking forward to seeing how this new partnership (hopefully) improves what Modcloth can offer.

Comments

233 responses to “Millennial Hipster Clothing Site to join Jet.com and Walmart Family”

  1. AlmightyJB

    Would

    1. Hyperion

      I knew that… someone was going to say that.

    2. Grumbletarian
      1. Grumbletarian

        Well that failed.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        Premature?

      1. Jimbo

        Pics or it didn….nevermind.

  2. Hyperion

    Huh, we find out that, once again, making money is more important to someone than the feelz of their hipster clientele? Imagine that, I am stunned. But no worries, the hipsters will pretend it all away in the end. After all, they’re all still pretending that Steve Jobs was not a capitalist.

  3. AlmightyJB

    Yeah, they can’t just say “I’m happy for your success, congrats on the American Dream”. They’re incapable of not being assholes about everything.

  4. Grumbletarian

    I could not find one positive comment. I’d leave one myself, but I suspect I’d just get shouted down.

    Hm, I wonder how many other people feel the same. If you’re not offended by their decision and intend to continue buying their products, I suggest telling the company just that.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I would tweet something but I don’t know how and I really don’t want to learn.

      1. Hyperion

        If there is a bigger cesspool of stoopid on the planet than Facebook, it’s Twitter.

        1. Banjos

          YouTube comments

          1. Col. Chestbridge

            Yes, it is definitely YouTube comments.

          2. The Last American Hero

            Youtube comments have a certain OT charm to them. You can be watching a video on woodworking or repairing a washing machine and inevitably there is a “this video sucks Lars Ulrich is a god – Metallica Rulz” thrown in there.

    2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      She’ll tell them with her $$$

      1. Grumbletarian

        Sure, but she can’t do that until their stuff is in WalMart for her to buy. Tell them ahead of time they still have at least one customer.

      2. Number.6

        Corporations are full of humans too. Sometimes the merest echo of agreement goes a long way.

        This is quite an admission, coming from a borderline sociopath like me.

      3. Exactly! It’s my intent to specifically buy some stuff this weekend.

        1. Jimbo

          Oh, gosh THAT’S really sacrificing. ?

  5. Hyperion

    This won’t have a negative impact on the business of this person. In fact, I won’t be surprised if it has a positive effect. The left’s track record on shouting down businesses has been abysmal at best. Remember Wholefoods? They’re doing better than ever, and their owner still claims to be a libertarian. And guess who still shops there more than anyone else? If you guessed the same hipster douchebags that were the shouters, then you win a prize.

    1. Grumbletarian

      I was going to make a post about Memories Pizza, that mom and pop shop in Indiana that said they wouldn’t cater a gay wedding and the left when apeshit. Apparently they’re still in business, and they got over $800k in a GoFundMe support page after the incident.

    2. Gilmore

      LL Bean posted a better than expected quarter after the call for boycott post-election

  6. Hyperion

    Why are there no Saturday morning links? Why is no one bitching about it? Are all the editors Irish?

    1. The Elite Elite

      Hey, I bitched about it in the Peak Derp article!

    2. Jimbo

      It’s clear the commenters are.

    3. Pi Guy

      Word is, Sloop was hunged-over

  7. Jefe Hayek

    Women be shoppin’. Amirite fellas?!?!

    1. Hyperion

      Wiminz always be shoppin. When they ain’t shoppin, they shoppin for a reason to be shoppin. The thing that kills me is ‘window shopping’. ‘Honey I don’t want to buy anything today, I just want to window shop’. I completely do not understand these critters.

      1. Rhywun

        “Window shopping” is how they tell you what you’re going to be buying them for Xmas.

        1. Hyperion

          But they do it all year long.

          1. Rhywun

            Well, there is also a birthday, Valentine’s Day, maybe Mother’s Day…

          2. SP

            International Women’s Day, Sweetest Day, Susan B Anthony’s birthday…

          3. Lachowsky

            Tuesday

          4. juris imprudent

            You just didn’t marry the right woman. [smiles serenely]

          5. John Titor

            The fuck’s a Sweetest Day? *googles*

            Cleveland invented a holiday?!? Was it to prevent suicides or something?

    2. Jimbo

      You is!

  8. Hyperion

    Completely OT, folks. But I’ve been thinking over this deal about Marshawn Lynch coming out of retirement to play for the Raiders. You know, I have many thoughts on that, but the number one thought is… the Raiders could have drafted Lynch in the 2007 draft. So what did they do? They drafted JaPorkus Fucking Russel! JUST PASS THE GRAPE DRANK, BABY!

    1. Lachowsky

      JaMarcus Russell. I don’t think anyone has ever successfully pulled the wool over the NFLs eyes like him

      I don’t think he liked football. He was good, but had no desire to do anything more that sign a huge contract and then fuck off til he got fired.

      1. Hyperion

        My 2nd thought on that, is that it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. The Raiders just sucked as a team and anyone they drafted wouldn’t have mattered. I’m glad for Lynch that he didn’t sign with the Raiders at that time. Same goes for Peterson, another back the Raiders passed on in round 1.

        1. Lachowsky

          I’m a lifelong, and long suffering, Arkansas Razorbacks fan. When Darren Mcfadden was drafted by the raiders, I was sad. I think he could have been much more than he turned out tobe had he been drafted by a different organization.

          As a side note, unranked Arkansas and Darren Mcfadden beat #1 LSU and JaMarcus Russell in the final game of the regular season in 2006. LSU went on to win the National Champions ship that year and we fired our coach. Good times.

          1. westernsloper

            Keeping on topic for a fashion piece, I have always thought the Razorbacks had the ultimate in fan head gear. The Razorback hog hat is awesome.

          2. Lachowsky

            In 1994 arkansas won an NCAA basketball championship. I remember seeing a Time (I think) magazine with Bill Clinton on the cover wearing a hog hat.

          3. Jimbo

            Well, he is a pig.

          4. Lachowsky

            Scratch that. It was 2007 when that game happened and Russell was already at oakland. Matt flynn was LSU’s quarterback. Either way, one hell of a good game.

          5. Hyperion

            The only time I even watch college is if someone is hyping a big game to me or if I want to check out some draft talent. NFL is enough foozball for me.

          6. Agent Cooper

            I think he could have been much more than he turned out to be had he been drafted by a different organization.

            McFadden was too injury prone to be a success at the next level with any team. Sucks because it happens to a lot of dedicated and promising players.

          7. Agent Cooper

            McFadden was too injury prone to be a success at the next level with any team. Sucks, but happens to a lot of talented players.

          8. Agent Cooper

            Weird. It told me I had a duplicate comment so I re-posted a different one. The other one didn’t show up.

        2. SP

          You know who else would have been better if he’d played for the right team with a coach who understood how to get the best out of him?

          1. trshmnstr

            Hitler?

          2. Lachowsky

            me?

            Just kidding. no amount of coaching was going to make an athlete out of me.

          3. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?

          4. Hyperion

            Todd Marinovich? /derp

          5. Jimbo

            Hey, baked penguin is yuuuge fan…for some reason.

          6. Everybody on the Cleveland Browns roster?

          7. westernsloper

            (insert Jerry Sandusky joke here)

    2. juris imprudent

      JaMarcus – the only bust bigger than Cryin’ Ryan Leaf. Thanks Oakland!

      1. Old Man With Candy

        I would nominate Sergio Kindle.

        1. juris imprudent

          2nd round pick against No.s 1 and 2? I don’t think so.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          What’s brown on the outside and white on the inside?

        2. Pi Guy

          Eeeeesh, Dude. MD fans are already smarting after the Xavier game.

  9. Rhywun

    I don’t know what Modcloth is but I’m guessing they weren’t a union shop and none of their shoppers belonged to one either.

    1. Lachowsky

      I would guess all their products are made in non union shops in Asia, because that’s where almost all clothes are made that are sold in the US.

    2. You bet not. Wouldn’t shop there if that was the case

      1. Lachowsky

        http://www.scw-mag.com/sections/solutions/364-modcloth

        “We have a variety of international vendors that we’re dealing with predominantly in the United Kingdom and China, but we source from several other countries on a variety of goods,” Casciato explains. “There’s a small group of vendors that we’re dealing with that we will source one-off or specialty products from, but they are very few and far between.”

        Apparel and other products arrive from their international destinations at ModCloth’s single, 220,000-square-foot warehouse in Pittsburgh in large shipments.

    3. Hyperion

      I’ll take the wife there and buy her whatever she wants if everything is made by orphan slaves. Hey, a person has to stand for something.

  10. trshmnstr

    Ah, a fashion thread!

    I have a question. I’m looking for a bag appropriate for a new attorney. Specifically one that goes with sport coats and slacks. A backpack is too childish, a briefcase is too old-school.

    What are your thoughts on a bag like this?

    1. SP

      I love it. I was going to suggest something similar. It says, “grown-up but not stodgy.”

    2. Lachowsky

      Looks like purse to me.

      1. Somalian Road Corporation

        IT’S EUROPEAN!

    3. Number.6

      Personally, I love ’em. I’ve been saving up for a pukka Saddleback Leather bag, but the budget won’t stretch quite that far.

      It’s the old story though – ultimately, the determinant is the material, and the leather. And for documents, you need a bag that’s lined. If the leather hasn’t been properly finished, when it gets wet, the contents will get stained.

      But overall, a reasonable bag like that should be fine if it’s not overloaded. ‘Light’ bags like that can deform, and that makes keeping them closed a bit of a problem

      1. quincy

        I love their video How to Knock Off a Bag.

    4. Rhywun

      I’m thinking someone’s horned in on J Peterman’s territory.

      1. BakedPenguin

        “I was riding a camel with the caravan driver about halfway through the Gobi when I first spied the Journeyer!”

    5. westernsloper

      Right on. Very Indiana Jones.

      1. That’s what I was thinking when I saw it, too.

      2. Number.6

        I’ve been told the one I have has an Ernest Hemingway vibe.

        Needless to say, I never transport firearms in it.

    6. Hyperion

      thrshmstr, you do know you need the neck beard, pony tail, and hipster glasses if you have to go with the man purse? I know this because I walk past these guys all the time on my way to visit clients. You gotta do the whole deal.

      1. trshmnstr

        My hair’s too curly for the pony tail. I can do the jew fro, but that’s it.

        1. Hyperion

          Well, I guess by virtue of my type-o, your new handle is thrash master, so as long as you do some head bangin movements, have some tats and an Anthrax shirt, you’re good to go.

    7. Coach makes some nice leathergoods. I’d check them out.

    8. Gustave Lytton

      Nice. Gotta run now but leather bag oogling is my thing. Maybe later I’ll throw on some links to other bags in that sort of range.

    9. Tacit Rainbow
    10. R C Dean

      Nice. I’d wonder about durability.

      I use an Orvis bag:

      http://www.orvis.com/briefcases-and-satchels

      I have the Bullhide. The Col. Littleton looks good, too.

      1. trshmnstr

        My concern is durability as well. I’m not in a position to drop $800 on a bag (and I’m not sure I’d ever spend that much), but most of the sub-$300 bags are riddled with manufacturing issues. I’m thinking about taking a gamble right now and upgrading bags if this one wears out in couple years.

      2. Rhywun

        Good lord. At those prices they better be made out of orphans.

        1. westernsloper

          Customer: How many orphans does it take to make a bag?

          Shop owner: Depends on their size and how you skin them.

        2. R C Dean

          I’ve found that paying for quality is cheaper in the long run. The trick is affording it in the first place.

    11. Brett L

      Leather messenger bag

  11. SP

    Webdominatrix has had several articles of clothing from Modcloth. Many of the styles are indeed timeless and pretty, but the quality of the fabrics, cut, and construction is somewhat lacking. But I say that as someone who can create bespoke tailored garments.

    Really, I guess this just means their clothing will fit in seamlessly (see what I did there?) alongside the rest of Walmart’s apparel offerings.

    Having said all that, you look super cute, Riven!

    1. Thank you! And I do agree that their quality is not always great. That’s where their awesome return and exchange policy comes into play. Lol.

    2. Jimbo

      Yes! Lesbian thread…pics in 3,2,1…

  12. westernsloper

    I can’t stand mustaches and manatees on everything

    Ok, what does that mean? I know what a mustache is, and a manatee, but not that reference. Does this mean I am old?

    1. SP

      Yes.

    2. Lachowsky

      I don’t get it either, FWIW

      1. SP

        So you ALSO don’t shop for young women’s clothing and accessories, and household goods designed to be featured on Apartment Therapy.

        1. westernsloper

          I did not see one mustache or manatee there.

      2. trshmnstr

        This is (evidently) in

        I thought the whole mustache thing ran its course years ago, but evidently not.

        1. westernsloper

          Aaah. I thought, “Free mustache rides” t-shirts went out in the 80’s.

          1. Hyperion

            The porn stache is never out of fashion.

          2. westernsloper

            +1 Stossel?

        2. Hyperion

          Hey, they stole that porn stache from my avatar!

        3. Mustache shirts are retarded. If you want one, grow one.
          Like a man does

          1. Hyperion

            You’re gonna trigger the snowflakes with all that patriarchy, sloop.

          2. westernsloper

            That is a righteous stache there.

          3. OneOut

            plus you an hang your car keys on it and never have to go looking for them

          4. Old Man With Candy

            If you drew a little slit on the top of your head, you’d look just like a penis.

          5. Gilmore

            No no no. Its “If you put on a Wehrmacht uniform and a monocle, you’d make a badass Wolfenstein Boss-Fight”

          6. Number.6

            Lacks the saber scar.

          7. John Titor

            Did you grow that before or after your officership in the Union Army?

          8. Jimbo

            Dude, looks humid wherever you are. Of course, I have never experienced humidity myself, but I hear it sucks.

          9. Playa Manhattan

            By humid, you mean moist?

    3. Gilmore

      ? I know what a mustache is, and a manatee, but not that reference.

      I am seeing “Lena Dunham”

      1. westernsloper

        Well, you didn’t need to go there. I am hungover bro.

    4. I don’t get it, either. It’s not really a reference so much as an animal that’s been latched onto by hipsters as being trendy or in or whatever right now.

  13. Gilmore

    “You might be wondering why this is relevant”
    (man with beer halfway to his mouth pauses, makes ‘concerned face’, and nods dramatically, while trying to surreptitiously check the game-score out of the corner of his eye)

  14. Gilmore

    My buddy had a small company which distributed a fairly niche cosmetic product to regional (NE) drug stores. He went there after like 10 years working for Unilever + Beiersdorf, and wanted a ‘senior exec’ job somewhere where he could get some ownership equity, which turned out to be this tiny perfume co.

    Well, during his tenure, they struck a distribution deal w/ WalMart, and overnight they went from maybe $10s of m in revenue per year to a few hundred million in revenue per year.

    He now spends his time trying to find places to put the truckloads of money that keep driving up to his home.

    Players gown play. Haters gown hate.

    1. CZmacure

      JAMAICA!!!! WHAT GWAN????

  15. Derpetologist

    The correct response to people whining about this or anything else on twitter:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps6YEbSTUkE

  16. Rufus the Monocled

    You know who needs to get their uniforms fitted at Modcloth?

    NOTRE-DAME.

    1. Well, they have plenty of free time to get them made and delivered.

      Jeez, talk about not showing up for a game.

      1. Jimbo

        How about them Trojans, huh?

  17. Rufus the Monocled

    I would leave a comment. You’d be surprised at how much the business would appreciate it. After all, they’re just real people like you and me running the store. It’s too easy to pretend to rail against a faceless business but best to remind ourselves a business like Modcloth (which sounds like a successful venture) had a person (s) launch it. They made a decision to better their business model in hopes to better serve clients and to be pasted this way is unfortunate and I’m sure they’re not crazy about it.

    As a business owner myself, I know I’d like it.

    1. Lachowsky

      I have some money invested in an account with a group called Blackrock. Several years ago some anti-gun group found out that Blackrock was invested in several gun manufacturer’s stocks. The group held a big protest at their corporate HQ.

      I sent an e-mail to Blackrock letting them know that I for one think the protestors can all go piss up a rope and that if they think they can grow the fund by investing in arms manufactures, then they have my full support. I actually got a pleasant email back from the company.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I wonder if those who remain silent simply *expect* logic and reason to prevail. You have to speak up and fuck the other idiots. You’re not going to change them. The point is to encourage the company to hold the line and not break.

        AND NEVER EVER FUCKEN APOLOGIZE.

        EVER.

        1. I’m sorry about not speaking up, Rufus.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            And now the blood of eight dead orphans are on your hands.

          2. I think that should either be ‘bloods’ or ‘is’. but then again I’m not a Canuckistanianer and none of my final four teams are eliminated yet so what do i know?

          3. None is, not none are.

            If you’re going to be a pedantic bastard, at least get it right. :-p

    2. You’ve moved me.

      I will commend them on twitter and on their blog.

      And I will also buy some stuff from them, too, as per the original plan.

  18. Derpetologist

    Another appropriate response to prog stupidity:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90SdmjuCAqw

    1. Hyperion

      Nice!

    2. CZmacure

      It is truly bizarre that everyone treats the arts being dominated by leftist political views as the Natural Order of Things. If it were dominated by right wingers, I’m pretty sure it’d be the end of the world, right?

      It gets really notable if you happen to participate in the arts community and are a “closeted” non-leftist. Leftists “artists” really say some shocking stuff to each other when they are confident none of “them” are around. Eye opening.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        It gets really notable if you happen to participate in the arts community and are a “closeted” non-leftist.

        This is SP’s profession. She has stories…

      2. tarran

        The most racist thing I’ve ever heard said in my work – thanking a hispanic co-worker for “your people putting Barack over the top” in 2012 – was uttered by the most loud in your face proggie employee of the company (she manages a major department).

  19. Derpetologist

    Huh, another MoveOn.org video with comments turned off. I wonder why that is.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf9K5KEs4rE

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      My God.

      Other than that.

      Would.

  20. Warty

    Whoa whoa whoa. We post cheesecake shots of ourselves here now? Well then. Prepare for hairy anus and trapezius shots, you fucks.

    1. Hyperion

      Ok, Editors, it’s time we go all text now.

    2. np

      Hold up, not until we get a proper thicc thursday featuring Riven

  21. Juvenile Bluster

    Despite what the previous article might have suggested, I believe this may be peak derp

    Two Scientifically Clueless Professors Float The Idea Of Genetic Communism: Babies Randomly Assigned To Couples At Birth

    At first, you wonder if this is a Swiftian “Modest Proposal.” But, no, these are actual professors writing this and they seem to be doing a genuine muse on — yes, get this: the notion that babies be randomly allocated as a way to end racism.

    Of course, this is not going to happen — not without an authoritarian state — but with the erosion of our freedoms on so many angles, and the general lack of interest and lack of interest in doing anything about it, we are at least more pointed in that direction than we’ve ever been.

    From the “article”

    You may argue that genetic bias is indelible in human nature. Social mixing would not only disturb the comfort of this fatalistic attitude, but also use genetic chauvinism for ends beyond mere economic equality, providing grounds for a compassion that goes beyond the wellbeing of our immediate families. Since any man might be your biological brother, any woman your biological sister, concern for them would have to be expressed by a concern for a common good.

    A second effect of social mixing would be to generate a strong interest in the health and wellbeing of expectant mothers, which would ultimately translate into an interest in the social and biological welfare of everyone. Since any child might end up our own, we would provide the social and educational environments that would best enhance their development. Ghettos and slums would be an eyesore for us all. Poverty, drug, and alcohol addiction are already everyone’s problem, but this fact would be more meaningful than it is now. The child of that addict might be our biological child. Every victim of a drive-by shooting might be a member of our genetic family. Each of us would see the link between our fate and the fate of others.

    Third, the superficial connection between colour and culture would be severed. Racism would be wiped out. Racial ghettos would disappear; children of all races would live in all neighbourhoods. Any white child could have black parents and any black child could have white parents. Imagine the US president flanked by his or her black, white, Asian and Hispanic children. Imagine if social mixing had been in effect 100 years ago in Germany, Bosnia, Palestine or the Congo. Racial, religious, and social genocide would not have happened.

    Fourth, the plan accords with John Rawls’s concept of justice, introducing a welcome element of randomness into the advantages that each child can expect. At the present time, if you are a child of Bill Gates, you will have not only a genetic advantage but also a material one. Under a regime of social mixing, any baby could find herself the child of Bill Gates and enjoy the opportunity of optimally exercising whatever her genetic gifts might be. As for Bill Gates’s biological child, he might find himself the son of a barber, but with his natural genetic gifts he might make the most of a less than optimal educational environment.

    And because that isn’t dystopian enough

    It may be objected that parents’ desire to have their own biological children is so strong that they would be blind to the public good, that they would have babies and bring them up in secret. But those babies would not have birth certificates, they would not be citizens, they could not vote, serve in public office and so forth. If discovered, the children might be taken away after the strong bonds of psychological (as opposed to biological) parenthood had been formed. Few Americans would risk these penalties.

    I mean, I know that some people think “1984” is a guide, but this might be the first time I’ve seen anyone use the Brave New World dystopia as a model for what they want to happen.

    1. Hyperion

      Two Scientifically Clueless Professors Float The Idea Of Genetic Communism: Babies Randomly Assigned To Couples At Birth

      The new Soviet man has arrived?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Ignoring all the other parts of that idiocy, the authoritarian state that would be required to make this happen would make the Soviet Union under Stalin look like a libertarian paradise.

    2. Hyperion

      Third, the superficial connection between colour and culture would be severed. Racism would be wiped out. Racial ghettos would disappear; children of all races would live in all neighbourhoods. Any white child could have black parents and any black child could have white parents. Imagine the US president flanked by his or her black, white, Asian and Hispanic children. Imagine if social mixing had been in effect 100 years ago in Germany, Bosnia, Palestine or the Congo. Racial, religious, and social genocide would not have happened.

      Well, that is getting close to peak derp that someone could actually believe such fantastical fallacies.

    3. Lachowsky

      Molon Babe?

      1. Derpetologist

        [opera applause]

    4. Derpetologist

      The green Martians in the John Carter books adopted random hatchlings as their offspring.

      Understanding the culture of the Green Martians can be linked to understanding how they are born and how they spend their childhoods. Each year Martian women bring forward up to thirteen eggs; the eggs that meet certain weight, size, and specific gravity tests are taken to a secret underground vault where it is too cool for incubation to occur. Each year a council of about 20 chieftains examines the eggs, and all but about 100 of them are destroyed, preserving only the most perfect for incubation. Once the five-year hatching period ends, any eggs that do not hatch on time are unwanted (it is also important to note that if one green horde comes across another hordes incubator they destroy it and the eggs inside).

      Once born, the large Martian youths are scooped up by women of the community; if any of the children prove deformed or defective in any way they are promptly shot without a tear shed by anyone. The women raise them, the only aspects of their raising being the teaching of language and use of weapons, which they are given during their first year. The erstwhile mothers develop no feelings or attachment to their children – the children belong to the community and as a result parental love is completely unknown to them. From birth, they know no fatherly or motherly love, and they have no concept of the word home; they are taught that they are only suffered to live until they can demonstrate by their physique and ferocity that they are fit to live. It is likely that this horrible system is what resulted in the loss of the finer feelings and humanitarian instinct of the general population of their people.

      Congrats, progs. Your brilliant social engineering idea is out of a sci-fi novel from 1940.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Which in turn was based on historical descriptions of Spartan child-rearing practices.

        1. I had a discussion with an acquaintance a while ago where one topic that came up was the fact that if Sparta was a modern nation we’d have saddled it with embargoes and probably invaded it over human rights atrocities decades ago. In terms of humanitarian nightmares, Sparta makes North Korea look like Canada.

        2. Tim from Philly

          My favorite story of Spartan “motherhood”. A young man complained that his sword was too short to be effective. His mother’s response? “Take a step forward and I think you will find it plenty long enough” I believe this is called Laconic Comment.

          1. tarran

            No. Too wordy.

    5. westernsloper

      Despite what the previous article might have suggested, I believe this may be peak derp

      That is damn close if not there. Wow.

    6. Derpetologist

      The most hilarious part, IMO:

      These are exactly the sort of insanely tribal types who actively shun most people on the basis of politics, yet somehow they think that with enough force, they can get people to ignore race.

      Hey assholes: go make some non-prog friends then get back to me about how damn open-minded you are.

      To paraphrase Thomas Sowell: the next time some liberal professor starts yapping about the importance of diversity, ask him how many Republicans are in the sociology department.

      1. Not an Economist

        These people like tribes, only if they get to decide how the tribes are formed.

    7. juris imprudent

      This wasn’t an article by the Duke brothers was it?

    8. Rhywun

      I feel like we’ve been here before.

  22. Jefe Hayek

    For any wrestling folks out there, Paige (attractive young English wrestler…wait, no, don’t run, I’m serious) has a bunch of sex tapes and nudes floating around.

    Shameful violation of privacy I say. Yep. Shameful

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      At this point, I just assume everyone has a bunch of sex tapes and nudes floating around.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Won’t be long mainstream actresses and actors (Jesus, can we just stick to one word for male and female actors?) will want to cross over into porn and not the other way around.

      2. Lachowsky

        Mine are all on VHS, that way nobody can watch them.

        1. John Titor

          You assume anyone wants to watch them.

      3. westernsloper

        I like to think the NSA has all mine and they are truly repulsed and may even cause more of them to expose the sickness that is the NSA.

  23. PieInTheSKy

    Maybe I am seeing things but I think I saw a afternoon links page that disappeared what gives?

    1. Banjos

      YOU SAW NOTHING!

      1. PieInTheSKy

        Are you people gaslighting me? Isn’t that a human rights violation?

  24. Rufus the Monocled

    Just saw a Samantha Bee commercial where she mocked Trump for pronouncing ‘euphemism’ as ‘euphenism’. The ad closed with Obama saying ‘good luck’.

    Hm.

    I don’t seem to recall these smart ass dope headed progs making fun of Obama for all this slip ups. You know, like corpsmen, and 57 states and speaking Austrian.

    1. “Hurr, hurr, Trump’s sooo stooopid!”

      I seem to recall reading something about some German guy who once wrote about destroying enemies in the public eye by repeatedly attacking their character and implying that the majority of people felt the same way. Name escapes me, but I’m sure it’ll come to me in a minute…

    2. Akira

      Don’t forget the time he tried to be all worldly and cosmopolitan by referring to the Falkland Islands by their Spanish name (Malvinas) but said “Maldives) instead.

  25. Derpetologist

    “Despite what the previous article might have suggested, I believe this may be peak derp”

    Wrong, sir. Wrong.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0wk4qG2mIg

    That isn’t peak derp either. You don’t want to know what peak derp looks like. I have nightmares about what peak derp looks like.

    1. PieInTheSKy

      I think peak derp is something very simple and elegant A few words. Not a whole article.

      1. Derpetologist

        Ah, perhaps a Grand Unified Theory of Derp? Intriguing.

        1. PieInTheSKy

          Libertarians want freedom without responsibility. Something like that.

      2. np

        You know you’ve reached peak derp when it’s too late to even realize you’ve hit it.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      I was amused that the “next up” video was Bill Nye.

  26. Derpetologist

    Random Thought

    I live in the barracks, which means I have about 30 shitty roommates. We are supposed to clean everyday, but in reality what usually happens is a half-assed cleaning once a week. Sometimes we do a extra cleaning because of an inspection to make sure that we are cleaning. The upside of this though is a constant demonstration of why any economy that isn’t based on individual incentives is doomed to failure.

    For example, almost no one changes toilet rolls. It takes 10 seconds to change one, but it takes zero seconds to throw it on the floor and let someone else worry about it. So guess what happens 95% of the time?

    The mere existence of things like faucets that shut off automatically in public bathrooms ought to be a clue that people rarely exert even minimal effort for the common good without reward. And yet the world is overflowing with idiots who want to run whole countries on the basis of something that works badly under the threat of punishment.

    Hmm. An economic system of communal labor that works badly under threat of punishment. Now what might that be?

    1. R C Dean

      My legal department?

    2. PieInTheSKy

      Fun anecdote. In the great nation of Romania, the abodes of the proletariat are some hideous brutalist apartment building. Back in the day the water consumed by an apartment building was split evenly between all residents. After the glorious socialist republic ended, people started measuring the water that is used by each apartment. I knew people which had to get used to turning the water faucet off when living the bathroom. They literally left the goddamn water running for hours at a time for no reason. I mean the water bill was split evenly, but even so if more was used your share got bigger. I found that insane really. But they didn’t giver a shit. They left the water running.

      1. Pomp

        Nightmarish. Thank you for the anecdote, I’ve never heard of that kind of thing before.

      2. westernsloper

        Funner Romanian anecdote: I met a young lady from Romania when I used to be lucky enough to travel through Vienna. It was a dark place that charged very much money to drink with said young ladies. She talked me into the back room. Best $200 I have ever spent.

        1. PieInTheSKy

          In Bucharest it would probably have been cheaper

          1. westernsloper

            Ya, well the route didn’t go through Bucharest. One has to enjoy the layovers one gets.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        I live about 1/4 mile from a Federal building. A pretty big one.

        They leave every single light on, all night long. Weekends too.

        They just don’t give a fuck; it’s not their money.

        1. one true athena

          hey, DWP keeps their lights on all the time, too!
          although that could be they’re so incompetent they don’t know how to turn them off.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            This is the FAA building on Aviation. I KNOW it’s not a national security building, so they literally have no excuse.

        2. PieInTheSKy

          fiat lux

        3. Akira

          People at the prison have asked me to order them $3-a-piece gel pens instead of the cheapo Bics (which put letters on paper just as well, right?) and have literally said “who cares, it’s not our money!”. My libertarian instinct has always forced me to order the cheapest version of everything, however.

          I’m glad I finally found a new job and leave there in two weeks.

    3. westernsloper

      When I was in boot camp the dude in charge, (drill master? I don’t remember what we called him it was CG) made me the guy in charge of cleaning up. Nobody would do shit. My attitude was, ok fuckers we are all going to run for this be slack asses if you want. We ran, and I was fired from that position. Lazy fucks.

      1. CZmacure

        I am unable to parse your story. Could you re-phrase it so it’s clear what “running for this” and “being slack asses” mean? And who “fired” you?

        1. Playa Manhattan

          running for this = punishment
          slack asses = not cleaning like they’re supposed to
          fired by = drill master

        2. westernsloper

          The drill master (?) fired me because I was unable to talk the the rest of the company, who were slack asses, into cleaning the barracks. Our punishment was to run, as in using our legs, for miles for having dirty barracks. I assume you know that and you are fucking with me which is ok.

    4. Hans Landa

      Family?

    5. CZmacure

      There’s a similar line of reasoning I’ve seen where people examine, for example, drug prohibition in prison. If it’s impossible to achieve in LITERAL PRISON where things are controlled LIKE YOU’RE IN PRISON then how could it possibly be achievable in a society where people and physical objects are mostly unrestrained?

  27. Plisade

    Maybe this is a dead thread, but… Are any of you Glibs living in the Nashville area? I just moved to Smyrna and am looking to make some new connections.

    1. PieInTheSKy

      Nope

    2. I can only apologize, having lived in Smyrna for 8 horrible months.

      1. Plisade

        I’m living west of the 24, which is a comfort. I guess I’ll keep heading west to Franklin/Brentwood for good times.

  28. DOOMco

    HOW DARE THEY!!!!!

  29. Pomp

    We just got back from taking my daughter to the live-action reboot of Beauty and the Beast. There was some 3rd-hand rumour about a controversial gay kiss that I heard from the same person that told me Frozen was totally an incestuous sapphic love story. Was let down to find out that Gaston doesn’t passionately shove his tongue down LeFou’s throat. There was some homoerotic/comedic shoulder massaging/lusting, and like 2 seconds of two dudes dancing together. Not the gaypocalypse that it was hyped to be.

    1. Gilmore

      You should tweet Disney and demand a refund for their false promotion of the films LGBT wokeness

    2. Playa Manhattan

      How old is your daughter?

      Would recommend?

      1. Pomp

        Daughter will be 6 in June, it was her first theatre movie. It was 3D and a Disney production, so the production quality is of course high and doesn’t disappoint in that regard. My daughter really liked it and I didn’t hate it. There is some good comic relief.

        1. Pomp

          *first 3D theatre movie. Further, the 3D was clearly designed in and not an afterthought, but was also tasteful and not over the top in terms of 3D.

  30. westernsloper

    Since we seem to be doing a derptastic Saturday, here is my contribution

    People like my grandmother, Meals On Wheels kept my grandmother out of a nursing home.

    I don’t know who that woman is who said that, but I am sure she has more money than I. If all it took to keep my grandmother, parent, or any close family member out of a nursing home was to feed them, I would do that. That lady thinks it is your responsibility to take care of here family. Hey lady! If you are too cheap to take care of your family and have to rely on the gov, you are a fucked up person.

    ***Link Fixed. -mod

    1. westernsloper

      *raises hand* edit fairy help over here.

      1. westernsloper

        TY edit fairy. Please fix my typos (here/her) next time. Thanks.

  31. Look I’m not obsessing over this, I just get an idea every time I see the new logo and a Roy Neary like compulsion to create.

    1. trshmnstr

      Needz Moar Sombreros and Pot!

      1. Don’t we all?

    2. John Titor

      Monopoly Man’s peanut allergy made that night…interesting.

  32. DOOMco

    Roommate bought a vacuum from amazon. He told me its german, so i named him gobbels. I don’t think he got it.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Odd. I JUST ordered a vacuum from amazon about 20 minutes ago.

      1. DOOMco

        Which one did you end up getting?

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Just needed a replacement for the crumb vacuum in the kitchen:
          https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01JO313Y0/

          For serious cleaning, I have a massive shop vac with every attachment known to man, including a rotating brush and a hardwood floor scrubber.

          I used to have a Dyson animal. Very fast at vacuuming, but then I had to spend 15 minutes cleaning the brush.

          1. DOOMco

            Nice. We need a small one like that. We had a small dyson but it just died all the time.
            He did way too much research and ended up with a Miele canister one. Its quite powerful.

          2. trshmnstr

            I recommend this one if you’re looking for a general use hand vac. It’s the first hand vac I haven’t actively hated. We use it for chasing dust bunnies and other small tasks, and it’ll get the whole house on a single charge.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Can it be used for personal grooming?

            Asking for Warty.

          4. trshmnstr

            It’s not great with viscous liquids, if that’s what you’re asking. I recommend a shopvac for that.

        1. westernsloper

          Ha!

  33. __Warren__

    Who the Hell buys clothing? I steal all my material from awnings from store fronts, those big table umbrellas and various types of tarps at construction sites.

    Some duct tape and industrial sized staples and bam! I’m clothed.

    1. Pomp

      Pls write an article on this and submit.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Potato Bag Warren was his name-o in school.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Or was it Potato Sack Warren?

        1. __Warren__

          Sac de pomme de terre de Warren. Cause I’m a classy bastard.