Craptain Planet: Episode 1

 












Comments

52 responses to “Craptain Planet: Episode 1”

  1. So, this will be on TBS soon, yes?

    1. Pomp

      Only if the compensation is in the form of 55 gallon barrels of KY And bacon sandwiches.

    2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

      What I loved most about this show was that the American kid was pretty much only going along with the crew to hit it with that blonde Russian girl.

  2. ChipsnSalsa

    I see the label says Scott Pruitt but it sure looks like Chuck Schumer.

    1. lostlady

      Yeah it does

    2. Pomp

      We have labelz for the artistically-challenged. I learned everything I know from my mentor, Chip Bok. In that regard, I have failed. Needs more labelz.

      1. UnCivilServant

        Several of these panels are in Foreign! How am I supposed to be able to tell what they’re saying?

  3. Tonio

    Well done, Pomp. I continue to be impressed by the creativity and effort everyone is putting in here.

  4. lostlady

    I’m giving myself a mental health condition–watching MSNBC explain why the freedom caucus are nazis because they want to remove “essential health benefits” mandate on insurance. Ali Belshi interviewing dude who just said insurance can’t work without it because young people must help older people cover their health problems and old people must help young people subsidize their health problems–because that’s a thing?. I’m sorry what?!?!

    This better blow up! It can’t be fixed “biggly”

  5. Gilmore

    i lost it at “brock heem bad guy”, because i’m a bad person, and david brock is also a bad person.

    1. bacon-magic

      ^This

  6. Volren

    This was so racist I can’t even…I laughed. Good job.

    1. Pomp

      I thought this might come up. The purpose was more to lampoon the cheap way in which the original characterises Gi and Kwame as “generic Asian” and “Generic Africa guy” respectively.

      1. UnCivilServant

        I just realized something… if these are generic charicatures then the Power of Heart takes on a really sinister undertones for the “Generic South-Central American Native”

      2. Gilmore

        I only saw captain planet like once and i think that came through pretty clearly.

        the cartoons of the 80s/early-90s all had “its a small world” attempts to shoehorn minorities into pop culture; but the hamhanded way they did it usually involved absurd stereotypes that most people would consider gross today. hell i thought “Data” (the asian kid) from the goonies was cringey back when it was brand-new. I think the jury is still out on “how authentically-black Panthro (of the thundercats) was”

      3. BakedPenguin

        My SIL is African. She’s a great person. Not offended.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          I’m picturing the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2.

          ‘Diplomatic Immunity’

          1. The Last American Hero

            I’m picturing the bad girl from LW 2. Yumm.

        2. Pomp

          Does she speak African? Anyway, we all know what’s in your heart of hearts, shitlord: privilege and unconscious racist impulses.

          1. BakedPenguin

            Twi, and yes.

            I want a baseball cap that has SHITLORD in bold font.

          2. Pomp

            The woman in that video is a delight and has made me happier.

          3. Rufus the Monocled

            No, she speaks Austrian.

  7. Vhyrus

    I find that this is relevant:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwJaELXadKo

  8. BakedPenguin

    Good job, Pompey!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    I’m giving myself a mental health condition–watching MSNBC explain why the freedom caucus are nazis because they want to remove “essential health benefits” mandate on insurance. Ali Belshi interviewing dude who just said insurance can’t work without it because young people must help older people cover their health problems and old people must help young people subsidize their health problems–because that’s a thing?. I’m sorry what?!?!

    Haha, same here. I was just watching a Morning Joke clip, featuring a bunch of hyperventilating about Wiretap-gate. Those fuckers are nuts. They are so balled up about Trump’s “slander” of the Ascended One they can’t see straight. Mika was nowhere to be seen; probably slugging vodka out of a Big Gulp cup under heavy sedation in the green room.

    It has become nearly impossible to try to keep informed about anything, because it’s all TREASON, all the time. I just hope I’m watching when one of the shriekers strokes out on live teevee.

    1. John Titor

      Mika losing her shit over finding out what furries are is still her greatest moment.

      1. Vhyrus

        Do you have a link for that?

        1. BakedPenguin
    2. Tonio

      Because not wanting to pay for shit for other people is objectively fascist. Duh.

  10. John Titor

    I didn’t watch Captain Planet, because Canadian. But I did see a clip on youtube about how the only thing that can stop Captain Planet is Hitler staring at him.

    That’s dumb.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    No link, but Kristof, of the NYT, is beating the TREASON drum good and hard this morning. Benedict Arnold was America’s Greatest Patriot, compared to Donald J Trump.

    *Speaking of which…. What does the “J” stand for? When Trump goes into the books as the World’s Most Prolific Serial Killer, we’ll need to know.

    1. John Titor

      ….John DUN DUN DUN.

      Suddenly it explains so much.

    2. UnCivilServant

      It was one of those boring white names. I forgot pretty quickly after having heard it.

    3. Caput Lupinum

      It stands for John. Which, come to think of it, explains a lot about Trump and John at the same time.

      1. UnCivilServant

        Wait… his name in Don Jon?

        1. Gilmore

          Don Juan Trump

  12. Drake

    Scott Pruitt is speaking as a Conservationist. Keeping air and water clean (at a reasonable cost), preserving farmland and wildernesses – that’s all conservationist talk. What the Sierra Club and similar organizations used to be all about.

    “Environmentalists” are a completely different kind of animal. They use crappy scientific hypothesis to justify all sorts of nonsense that fit their leftist political agenda. They’ll gladly clear cut a forest to set of bird-mulching windmills in the name of “clean-energy”. They’ll do their best to destroy entire industries for the “environment”.

    1. BakedPenguin

      There can’t be any forest fires ever, because TREES! Never mind that some species won’t germinate until their seeds pass through fire, or that some need the culling of fire to prosper.

    2. Tonio

      No cost is too high to save the environment!!1! Why do you hate the children.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Conservationist sounds too much like conservative. So…bad.

    4. The Last American Hero

      I had a lefty neighbor that thinks everybody should have to eat sustainable/organic/free range/pesticide free etc.

      I asked him how many hectares of virgin forest would we have to cut down to farm his way. He’d never even contemplated it.

  13. Bobarian LMD

    It might be me, but it seems like a lot of artistic effort was expended on getting Craptain Planet’s junk sized and shaded to the artist’s desired portrayal.

    NTTAWT…

    1. Gilmore

      it seems like a lot of artistic effort was expended on getting Craptain Planet’s junk sized and shaded to the artist’s desired portrayal.

      I didn’t want to be the first to say this, so thank you.

      the eraser-marks around his crotch-bulge speak of great time and effort placed into enlarging it *just enough* to make you go, “wtf?”

      1. egould310

        It’s not his junk. It’s a turd. Hence “Crap”tain Planet.

      2. Pomp

        Thank you both for noticing! Originally a faint outline of a “fishbowled” spandex bulge was sketched in, but it was ultimately erased preemptively to avoid NSFW implications. Rest assured, he does in fact have a semi.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          Rest assured, he does in fact have a semi.

          I almost spit hotdog all over my screen.

          1. Pomp

            These euphemisms are getting pretty obvious.

        2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

          He always had a lot of love for mother Gaia

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Keeping air and water clean (at a reasonable cost)

    No price is too high, no benefit too negligible.

    1. “We will bear any burden, pay any price to achieve astonishingly small increments in certain measurements”

      /Zombie JFK

  15. bacon-magic

    This is humorous and I like it. I laughed like I did when Uncivil’s mom asked for a tip after.

  16. westernsloper

    Nice work Pomp. I larfed. + what Drake said. People who actually visit the outdoors, ie conservationists do not want to destroy the environment. Most “environmentalists” sit in traffic in a prius way the hell and gone from the “outdoors”.