EVEN ZARDOZ CAN FORGET TO TITLE LINKS, NIGHT TIME LINKS

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YOU HAVE EARNED MORE NIGHT TIME LINKS. REMEMBER, THE GUN IS GOOD, SO IS SNARK.

  • ZARDOZ IS SHOCKED, SHOCKED TO FIND PAY TO PLAY IN CHICAGO.
  • TAIWANESE BRUTALS MIGHT BE GETTING NERVOUS.
  • BRUTAL ENFORCER BEHAVING…ODDLY.
  • MILLIONAIRE NEIGHBORS FROM HELL.

GO FORTH AND DO ….WHATEVER YOU WANT.

Nice boots!
You wish you had the courage to wear this!

Comments

109 responses to “EVEN ZARDOZ CAN FORGET TO TITLE LINKS, NIGHT TIME LINKS”

  1. Juvenile Bluster

    Zardoz has neglected to add a title to his Sunday links, as I’m sure is his will.

    1. ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN AND OBSERVANT ONE. BRUTAL J. BLUSTER HAS DONE WELL. HELP YOURSELF TO SOME EXTRA GUNS.

    2. Nephilium

      So… Zardoz is Sloopy? CONFIRMED!

      1. Shit, I wish!

  2. Vhyrus

    So, if China does decide to forcefully inset itself into Taiwan, does Donald Trump swoop in like MAGA Prime to save the day, or do we let the chinamen fight it out amongst themselves for a bit first?

    1. Mr Lizard

      You do like all great domineering species….YES

    2. AlmightyJB

      “elements of the expanded Marine Corps would be stationed abroad, including Djibouti in the Horn of Africa and Gwadar in southwest Pakistan.”

      Taiwanese brutals shouldn’t be the only ones getting nervous.

      1. Yeah, this deployment could affect the world balance of power. For example, it may shake Djibouti.

        1. quincy

          Oman, that was terrible.

          1. Vhyrus

            Swiss signal lit.

          2. Why the Chile reception to his pun?

          3. Oh, Saud off, my pun was great.

          4. This whole subthread is making me Hungary. Im gonna go make myself a Turkey sandwich.

          5. Or Sardinia on toast.

          6. quincy

            Of Corsica you’d say that.

          7. Agent Cooper

            This Congo on much longer.

          8. Floridaman

            It’s pretty safe Tibet that it Canada.

          9. Jimbo

            This all sounds so Philistine.

          10. quincy

            Some can handle it, some Canaan’t.

          11. Akira

            Oman, these puns are getting ridiculous!

          1. C. Anacreon

            I knew that had to be a Zappa link. Yay.

          2. dbleagle

            Zappa earned me my first visit to a teacher as a parent. I found out that we were moving to Montana from Arizona so of course I broke out my Zappa. Well the song before “Moving to Montana” was “Dynamo Hum” which caught my daughters fancy. After a few days of the album playing on a repeating basis my daughter’s 2d grade teacher calls and asks to “chat” with us. Luckily we sailed with her and her husband but still……

            So I go to meet her and she informs me that my daughter has been singing parts of “Dynamo” and well, she was sure my daughter didn’t realize the subject matter but if other kids started singing it to their parents issues may arise. I thanked her and put Mary Chapin Carpenter’s “Down at the Twist and Shout” on heavy rotation-problem solved.

      2. Rhywun

        No idea about Pakistan but China’s been cultivating “friendships” in Africa for a while now.

          1. Rhywun

            Huh – I probably should have known that. But I hear a lot more about their cozying up to African countries in the media,

          2. Number.6

            The African interest is primarily for natural resources.

            Only natural resources Pakistan has is goat shit and madrassas. But what Pakistan is is a counterweight to China’s regional rival, India.

  3. totally_not_an_escaped_ai

    Since the City Council vote to ratify the mayor’s preferred concessions plan, the Chicago for Rahm Emanuel campaign committee has reported getting contributions worth $86,200 from Melman family members, Lettuce Entertain You employees and many of its restaurants.

    I am so in the wrong business. What does it take to be mayor in Chicago? I have no soul to sell, so that’s out…

    1. Not an Economist

      I don’t know what is so special about this. If Rahm was as smart as the Clintons then he could have set up a charity and then he could have accepted unlimited “donations”.

      1. Rhywun

        Also the Deblasio route.

        1. Akira

          What might that be, just out of curiosity?

      2. CZmacure

        I like asking proggies if it’s reasonable for Bill and Hillary to be so rich.

        Usually they just get mad, or say that they’ve somehow earned it. Because you know, a side effect of being in government should be to get super rich, and they definitely didn’t sell out America in exchange…

    2. Caput Lupinum

      Selling your own soul well only get you to alderman. You want the mayorship you have sell other people’s souls.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      I fly in/out of Midway a lot and it is one of the worst places in the world to try to buy a drink. I have no idea why all the bar tenders there are so horrible, but they are. I had one bartender turn her back on an entire crowd and take her break. As she would helpfully shout at us, her relief hadn’t shown up so she had no choice but to take her break right there where we could all see her. Only place in the world, I don’t feel bad about leaving $0 for a tip. I can’t conceive how they could give worse service next time I show up.

      A coworker and I have speculated that we could make $$$$ by simply selling pint cans of beer for $10 each out of a tub of ice in one of the concourses. No credit cards, cash only.

      I always assumed that the grift would be steeper than that.

  4. Vhyrus

    Oh yeah, since this came up a few days ago:

    Shaq claims he was joking about the flat earf thang.

    So, was he really trolling? Or did he decide he was being stupid and is now covering? Discuss.

      1. Lachowsky

        Much like actors and politicians, I assume all athletes are functionally retarded and pay little mind to their opinions.

      2. OneOut

        he was obviously trolling.

        he said he often drove cross country.

        I doubt that seriously

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Shaq doesn’t drive. He posts up.

          1. Jimbo

            I’ma calling a technical

    1. Rhywun

      On absolutely no evidence whatsoever, I believe he was joking.

  5. juris imprudent

    So was Agile Cyborg the costume designer for the movie Zardoz?

    1. ArchieBunker

      Theres a movie Zardoz

      1. ArchieBunker

        ?

        1. Don’t. Just don’t, they tricked with all this Zardoz business and I watched it. Trust me when I say this, If your only options are to watch Zardoz, read Gravity’s Rainbow, or listen to Pet Sounds…. swallow your tongue.

          1. ‘tricked me’

          2. AlmightyJB

            I was once tricked into watching the trailer for the Human Centipede. Totally not cool.

          3. PapayaSF

            Both Gravity’s Rainbow and Pet Sounds are great and personal favorites. Zardoz was always pretty terrible: another of the long string of science fiction films made by people with no real sense of the genre.

  6. straffinrun

    Driven to the police station in Hastings, East Sussex, Mr Simou was locked in a cell for seven hours before finally being interviewed.
    ‘The first thing I asked was: “Why am I here?” ’ said Mr Simou.

    This is not my beautiful home.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I sometimes wonder if greed is addictive like a drug. People are pushing 80 and they’re still trying to fuck people over to expand their property.

      1. Why do you think people stay in politics their whole life?

  7. Lachowsky

    “Francis allegedly entered the back yards of more than one home and shined a flashlight inside until he got someone’s attention. Then, as the person was looking at him, Francis shined the light on himself to show he was fondling himself, the sources said.”

    This will surely help improve relations between citizens and the police.

    1. Vhyrus

      You misunderstand… someone he recently pulled over told him to go fuck himself… he just wanted to prove police do listen to their taxpayers.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Sounds like he wanted to get caught. That is a very odd form of self-destructive behavior. Unless he just figured that there would be no repercussions since he’s a cop. That’s certainly understandable.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      I agree. He’s there to lend a hand. To plant seeds of friendship.

  8. thrakkorzog

    Let me find find my shocked face. Remember those two guys trying to shoot up the draw Mohammed contest? You’ll never guess who was in the car behind them.

    1. Vhyrus

      I actually am a little surprised. I know the FBI drops the ball more than the Cleveland Browns but what exactly did they think these two guys were gonna do once they got there? Participate? Hold up signs outside?

    2. straffinrun

      Reading a series of tweets like that makes me want to swallow a revolver.

      1. Vhyrus

        You’re doing it wrong.

        1. straffinrun

          At least I won’t have to clean it up.

    3. AlmightyJB

      Something I was wondering about the other day. We know the Feds actually instigate and create many of these terror plots. I just wonder if the Feds ever lose track of any of these guys once they’ve fired them up to take action. Maybe the guy backs out of the FBI plot and then later does something on his own. But never would have if the Feds didn’t give him the idea to begin with.

      1. Lachowsky

        You don’t think our government would intentionally create terrorists and incite attacks in order to justify the expansion of their own power do you? That’s conspiracy level stuff.

        /adjust tinfoil hat

        1. AlmightyJB

          You mean like suppling guns to the Mexican drug cartels and then feeding the media stories about how easy it is for the cartels to get guns because of our “lax” gun laws? No, they would never do anything like that.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Or supplying?

          2. Lachowsky

            Last I heard, Obama had stonewalled a FOIA request for documents related to fast and furious. As far as I know, all the agents involved in that little scheme are still employed by the ATF and some have even been promoted. I was hopeful that a change in administration would allow that particular scandal to finally break open and maybe get some heads rolling at th ATF. I haven’t heard anything new since Trump took over. Maybe the story just lost its legs.

          3. Akira

            As an aside, how is it our problem if a neighboring country outlaws something and fails to stop it at their border? That’s a goofy concept.

            Would we also have to set tighter restrictions on pornography since people from Saudi Arabia probably get on American porn sites? No, it’s legal in this country, and if they can’t keep their citizens from accessing it, that’s THEIR problem.

        2. dbleagle

          The Ft Dix attack was foiled by the video developer at the local mega-store. He had been asked to assemble the videos of shooting and “military style stuff” including chanting of “Alluha Akbar” by the people and called the police. The FBI ignored it for months before deciding to put in the paid informants. When the attack was busted one of the participants said they were going to infiltrate by posing as Dominos delivery men.

          At the time Ft Dix was being used as a major mobilization site and there were dozens of pizza guys each night. It was a decently planned out attack.

          So while I agree that the FBI is sometimes setting out the conditions for disturbed people to plan things they might not otherwise- sometimes they do stumble on the real deal.

    4. mr simple

      I think you missed the story on that page.

      Mallory from ‘Family Ties’ sets everyone straight on United and #LeggingsGate

      Apparently the feminist hill to die on of the day is private companies having dress codes? The horror!

      1. Rhywun

        And she’s the sharpest knife in the drawer here – I love it.

        (Young’ns: she played a dummy on the show.)

      2. AlmightyJB

        Once you’ve won, aren’t you supposed to quit fighting?

      3. Heroic Mulatto

        I can’t be the only one who gives absolutely no shits about this, right?

      4. Not an Economist

        And the feminist response is that United should change their policy.

      5. Gilmore

        I posted that story as a joke because AP and Reuters had something about it.

        I had no idea it was a story with legs (*BOOM: PUN DROPKICK)

        no but seriously, is this what we’ve come to? easily-upset-woman tweets outrage that girl had to put pants on = celebrity world sets itself on fire debating it? its stuff like this that makes me wish ISIS would actually hit hollywood.

        1. Derpetologist

          Medal madness, from wiki

          On 29 December 1917, paragraph 36 change 1 to War Department Special Regulations No. 42, established the first Tank Service collar insignia (graphic 1) which was unpopular with the service; so, on 7 May 1918, change 2 to the Service Regulation announced a new design (graphic 2) that was popular with the troops. On 16 Mar 1921, the new Tank Service insignia was eliminated and paragraph 13b of AR 600-35 prescribed a new collar insignia designated as Infantry (Tanks) (graphic 3). On 21 March 1922, the Adjutant General approved a new design for the Infantry (Tanks) insignia (graphic 4). However, roughly twenty years later, on 25 February 1942, a new insignia was authorized for all Armored Forces which was announced in War Department Circular 56 (graphic 5). This version of the collar device remained in use until the Armor Branch was established in February 1951.[12]

          ….

          No unique insignia authorized until 1942 when the Tank Destroyer Corps became independent due to a dispute over whether the infantry, artillery or cavalry would have responsibility for the Tank Destroyer Corps.[13]

          1. Derpetologist

            oh fiddlesticks. That was supposed to go down below.

      6. My sister was born on the very same day as Justine Bateman. (Same year, not just sharing a birthday.)

    5. Gilmore

      Why the fuck would anyone tweet something they could just simply post in paragraph form somewhere? OR JUST TWEET FUCKING LINK

      it seems the dumbest way to try to communicate anything other than “OMG OUTRAGED”

    6. CZmacure

      Jesus fucking christ. Are there any domestic terror attacks in the last 10 years they haven’t either :

      a) known about in advance
      or
      b) materially supported?

      1. Lachowsky

        You don’t remember the Y’all Qaeda terrorists that took over the wildlife refuge in Oregon last year. The FBI didn’t seem to involved in setting that up and they heroically killed that stupid redneck leader of theirs.

    7. Chuck Schumer? Pam Geller? Robby Soave?

  9. Pomp

    Sean Connery’s tan line is not consistent with his diaper-suspenders. FAKE!

    1. AlmightyJB

      I’m glad someone checked this

    2. Agent Cooper

      Maybe he has a beach outfit.

  10. butt-head

    I’m with Alexander Pope. Puns are the lowest form of humor/wit.

    1. butt-head

      Though, I am an avid fan of Beavis and Butt-Head, so… so I think I know what I’m talking about.

    2. AlmightyJB

      By lowest, you mean best, right?

    3. Agent Cooper

      Would you please Beavis alone?

  11. __Warren__

    Those neighbors from hell deserve death.

  12. Derpetologist

    OT

    I knew Muslims are supposed to only eat with the right hand, but it turns out the rule is even more specific. You’re only supposed to use your thumb, forefinger, and index finger.

    Oh, and also Satan eats with his left hand. You don’t want to be like Satan, do you?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7uzLKp2vho

    1. Vhyrus

      The reason muslims only eat with their right hand is cause they wipe their ass with their left. No I am not joking either.

      1. Lachowsky

        It’s the only way to wipe when you love in a desert with no natural foliage and you can’t seem to develop a society advanced enough to manufacture toilet paper.

        1. Jimbo

          Venezuelan’s could benefit from this method.

          1. Floridaman

            Couldn’t they just use their worthless currency, I mean it worked for the Germans.

      2. Number.6

        Hence ‘cack-handed’.

  13. Jimbo

    Detective Francis is a Public Dick?

  14. Derpetologist

    Uniform games

    “The OG-107 was the basic work utility uniform of all branches of the United States Armed Forces from 1952 until its discontinuation in 1989.”

    Well, that’s…great. That makes way more sense than what I’m used to.

    “The Battle Dress Uniform (BDU) are camouflaged fatigues that were used by the United States Armed Forces as their standard uniform for combat situations from the early 1980s to the mid-2000s.”

    Hmm, I guess camo is better, but I lean heavily towards “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

    “The open-weave cloth construction of the BDU is also easily penetrated by insect bites in tropical, jungle, and other malarial environments, causing an increased risk of transmitted diseases such as malaria, even when pretreated with permethrin[12] or other repellent.[13] ”

    Ooh, that’s bad.

    I like the Israeli mustard-color uniform. It doesn’t quite blend in with anything, but it also doesn’t stand out.

    I never understood why the color blotches are so small. once you get 100 ft away, all the colors blend together anyway. If you want the outline to be broken up a distance, you have to use big patches like German “lozenge” camo. Even that had its problems. Wiki sez:

    “As with all camouflage, the need to hide or obscure the aircraft from the enemy was counterbalanced by the need to have friendly forces recognize the aircraft. Bold black and white Iron Cross or Balkenkreuz markings provided a way to quickly identify the aircraft and at the same time, such national markings’ high contrast elements detracted from the effect of the camouflage. Further, individual pilots often added their own personal coloration to aircraft that they flew regularly.[8] An individual might paint the nose and tail in bright, unique colors to distinguish him in the air from his squadron mates. All of these practices rendered the lozenge camouflage less effective.”

    1. PapayaSF

      I like the WWI naval “dazzle ships” camouflage, though it supposedly didn’t work well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dazzle_camouflage

      Also, the camouflage used by US sub hunting aircraft during WWII: they actually put lights on the underside, because that made them harder to spot against a bright sky.

    2. thepasswordispassword

      I can’t speak for the OG work uniform but combat pajamas were super comfortable and not the worst thing in the world to PT in. Only complaint were the waist tightening clasps digging into the hips occasionally.

    3. __Warren__

      Bring back zouave uniforms!

  15. thepasswordispassword

    Trump bills Merkel for Nato
    The responses are too painful. The reflexive “nuh-uh” and refusing to even acknowledge the point really makes me worry.

  16. DenverJ

    Well, the meet up went poorly. Litton, or whatever his handle is, said something really rude to Western slope, who broke a beer bottle on the table and tried to slice Litton with it. Litton pulled out some Kung Fu, but then security was all over us. Doomco kicked the biggest guy in the crotch, and started doing the haymaker.
    I just hid under the table with my drink.

    1. Lachowsky

      You boys been violatin the NAP. Shame on you.

      1. DenverJ

        Oh it was a glorious pandemonium. I ended up grabbing the till as they were changing shifts. I ran out the door and jumped on the light rail.
        We’ll have to do it again.

    2. thrakkorzog

      I pictured that you recreated this scene. (NSFW language and violence) It’s a total violation of the NAP, but rules were meant to be broken, and if you have to break them, break them good and hard.

  17. Derpetologist

    OT: Many of the buildings out by me are named after military linguists who died in battle. Here is the story of one of them I wanted to share.

    PRESIDIO OF MONTEREY, Calif. – A Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center graduate was memorialized with a building dedication March 9 in recognition of her bravery and selflessness in paying the ultimate sacrifice for her country.

    While redeploying with her unit to Kuwait, Sgt. Cari Anne Gasiewicz, a 2003 DLIFLC graduate, was killed Dec. 4, 2004, when driving a supply truck, which was hit by two improvised explosive devices. Gasiewicz was the only casualty; she was 28.

    ….

    Notably, Gasiewicz, who studied Arabic here, is the first female to have a Presidio of Monterey building named after her.

    …..

    According to one newspaper report, the attending priest at a ceremony held near Gasiewicz’s hometown remarked that after Gasiewicz, while on leave at the time, told her father’s co-workers at the New York State Department of Transportation that Iraqi children needed clothes and school supplies, co-workers collected twelve boxes of items that were sent to Iraq for Gasiewicz to distribute. Several accounts noted that she was in the process of arranging Christmas dinner for her unit (with the aid of her congressman) when she was killed.

    …..

    1st Sgt. Terrence Popp, Company F, 425th Infantry, wrote that their daughter helped the Soldiers of the 425th with “fresh intel dumps given to us on a daily basis. She went way out of her way to give us life-saving information. Information that we could not get from the normal channels. We worked for an Intel BN, and a buck sgt had the 411 on what was going on. I wish there was some way to repay that which she had done.

    War sucks. People die.

    People who join the military are generally not bloodthirsty monsters who sit in dark rooms, sharpen knives, and pray for war. Even the ones the most gung-ho for killing do so out of a desire to fight evil.

    Well, just a little ramble. It’s hard to sleep sometimes.

    Good night, y’all

    1. Lachowsky

      People who join the military are generally not bloodthirsty monsters.

      My little brother joined the army to get himself out of a hole he was continually digging himself into. He did 3 years and a combat tour in Iraq. He has a combat infantry badge and I know he was directly engaged at least once, but he won’t talk about it really. War is hell. It changed my brother, not necessarily for the worse, but I can tell he is different. Not as carefree as he was.

      1. dbleagle

        I’m glad your brother made it home okay. Combat service often carries an internal price that can make you less carefree than you were, but on the other hand you learn what is really important and value that. Just keep being a brother to him and almost every time it all works out okay.