ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. WHILE ZARDOZ DOES NOT MIND LINKING FOR HIS CHOSEN ONES, ZARDOZ HAS HAD ENOUGH OF RUNNING GUNS TO BRUTAL ENFORCERS
GRATEFUL RECIPIENTS OF ZARDOZ’S LABOR?
AND HAULING GRAIN FOR ETERNALS
TERRIFIC. THIS LOAD OF GRAIN IS CONTAMINATED.
SO ZARDOZ IS GOING TO GIVE YOU LINKS TONIGHT…BUT ZARDOZ IS GETTING FED UP WITH THE TABERNACLE ALWAYS JERKING HIS CHAIN.
- ZARDOZ SEZ “YER DOIN IT RONG”
- BRUTALS CALL THIS “THE ENGLISH DISEASE”, YES?
- WOULDN’T YOU STRIKE AGAINST THE IMPOSITION OF FRENCH?!
- OH NOES! NOT THAT!
ZARDOZ NOW DEPARTS FROM HIS CHOSEN ONES, TO FIND A GOOD LABOR LAWYER.
BRUTALS CALL THIS “THE ENGLISH DISEASE”, YES?
No, that looks like the French disease. The English disease is their hatred of self-defense.
I should have put Wikipedia to work first. I was thinking of the responses to the Tony Martin case.
I think ZARDOZ meant “British Disease” as in: https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/the-british-disease
Ah, the ole sick man of Europe.
Thatcher cured that.
I fear it only went into remission or a low grade fever rather than an out and out cure.
“How dare you Sir?” Slaps across the face with silken glove, dies ignonimously from rapier wounds on the morrow.
Yes, I know now. Oh well. Live and learn, you don’t live long.
Fuck, I did it again.
Live and learn, or you won’t live long.
I appreciate that picture of Cameroon. Now I never have to go there.
She’s sexy in her own way…definitely not thicc though.
Oh, totally misread that, whatever.
Oh, I would definately like to visit there.
I love garters
An old but good story about a trucker in Cameroon
The pithiest explanation of why Cameroonians have to put up with all this came from the gendarme at road-block number 31. He had invented a new law about carrying passengers in trucks, found the driver guilty of breaking it, and confiscated his driving licence. When it was put to him that the law he was citing did not, in fact, exist, he patted his holster and replied: “Do you have a gun? No. I have a gun, so I know the rules.”
So a leftest utopia
That link redirects to a blank Yahoo page for me.
I worked there a few times. Not a bad place on the western Africa scale. Granted one of the times was offshore, so we had french trained chefs on the ship making chocolate croissants every morning.
Wait…what? Rewind. You were in Cameroon…for work?
Yup. One offshore job down by the Nigerian border, and one jungle job that was pure hell. Douala has some fun points though.
“one jungle job that was pure hell. Douala has some fun points though.”
Go on…
Pretty girls who like to dance and have a good time, and just nice people. (I only had the chance to experience their friendliness in Douala on my way in and out of the country unfortunately) Friendly folk the world over has been my experience for the most part. Other than the ones who want to kill you, but fuck them is what I say.
I remember being part of a tour in China and our bus stopping at some shithole factory where they were trying sell us crap, and outside there was an impromptu ping-pong table – like just on some scrap of lawn – and they were trying to get me to join them. I’m a bit shy but I wish I had. Agree with the sentiment though.
You should have schooled them.
Were you a military contractor of some kind?
Or still are?
No, not even. Oil and gas exploration. Proper work for the uneducated with a solid work ethic and a high tolerance for shitty living conditions. My military experience ended with the Coast Guard in ’94. The military contractor types watched us as we worked, That all ended for me and almost everybody I know in the biz when the price of oil went in the toilet. It was fun while it lasted.
Sounds like pretty interesting work.
The last writers strike brought unto the television world the horrors of “reality” TV. Would the executives expand that horror by 24/7 programming by Rachel Maddow, HRC (PBUH) , Arriana Huffington and Bloomberg? ZARDOZ save us from a fate worse than Cthulhu with a migraine.
Or we could get ZNN…
INTERSTELLAR INVADER MAKES GOOD POINT. PERHAPS ZARDOZ NEEDS CAREER CHANGE?
THIS. IS. Z.N.N.
THEN ZARDOZ COULD READ STORIES OF BRUTAL FATALITIES. AND ETERNALS GRAIN QUOTAS AND…PERHAPS NOT.
But we have one of your broadcasts recorded.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCUv_MZVrTg&list=RD_GjT4V_apdI&index=8
Your BRUTALS have their orders.
On a more positive note, another writers strike could finish killing off cable TV bundling (since the few good programs wouldn’t be there).
From your lips, Simon, to God’s ear. I am ready to chop off 80% of the channels I get.
I wouldn’t miss the TV if it were gone. My wife would though.
I want my NFL and NHL. I want a little local news. I want a business channel or two. Cartoon Network. BBC America and maybe NatGeo. I don’t need shopping channels, Oxygen, Lifetime, Scowling Nun Channel (or whatever it is) local access, the “U”, etc.
There’s something broken about the current state of things. I don’t want 950 out of the 1000 channels I get. I also don’t want to fiddle with multiple subscriptions or flakey “streaming”.
Dunno how it will shake out.
I haven’t had anything but antenna tv for years. I miss some NFL games but I live. You soccer fans may have a problem there, but I don’t miss cable at all.
They need to sort out the flaky streaming by selling the rights to legit providers. I would pay for it. Too much money in selling to networks though. I think that will change eventually.
All I need is the NFL, some MLB, a hunting/fishing channel and CSPAN. I would kill the rest of the package in a moment if I could.
The MLB Channel is the worst. I live three times zones west of the west coast and they blackout west coast games as “local”.
I recently bought an Apple TV and noted they have some sort of service that manages multiple subscriptions – I only use it to stream to occasional events on channels I don’t get on cable but that sort of thing might be one direction worth pursuing once the flaky streaming problem is sorted out.
It burns me that to subscribe to any legit streaming, you have to have a cable or dish account. Fuck off slavers is all I can say.
and CSPAN
Someone check dbleagles’s pulse.
I get about 200 channels in a language I don’t speak.
And to think Roger Waters was whining about only 13 channels he didn’t want.
“57 channels and nothing on…”
CSPAN???!
youtube TV is a thing that’s being trialled right now in a few major markets (Philly being one of them) and while it seems like it’d be great for live sports, its essentially basic cable (replete with commercials!) for $35/mo. honestly I can get a better deal bundling with FIOS, and the service has been somewhat flaky.
I want my NFL and NHL. I want a little local news.
Free over the air. And if you want blacked out games, those aren’t on cable anyway (without paying big $) and you have to find pirate streams anyway.
I want a business channel or two.
Why? But if you must, Bloomberg TV streams live from their website.
Cartoon Network. BBC America and maybe NatGeo.
You won’t miss these after a week or two, honestly, but if you must have them, they’re all on streaming services that cost $8 a month instead of $80 a month like cable.
I haven’t had cable since I was 6. Never missed it a day in my life. Though to be fair, I only watch Tv shows anyway, and they’re pretty much all streamable.
Yes CSPAN. I am a sucker for Book TV on CSPAN2 and American History on CSPAN3 on the weekends.
I don’t “enjoy” but find interesting some of the Congressional hearings. I see what was actually said versus what is reported. To watch Boxer, Feinstein, Pelosi, Waters or Shiela Jackson Lee is to watch Derpmasters at Hall of Fame levels. Every so often they let the mask slip and they show exactly how they wish to enslave us.
I can only wish to see weapons grade stupidity like in this clip, live.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjG958lZ1KI
You can’t make that up.
The problem is that the small number of channels each of us want aren’t the same channels, and would all go way up in price if they don’t go belly-up.
Why is there a commissary at all?
Wait a minute…Immigration is employing illegals? Taking away work that ‘murican prisoners could be doing. Why am I not surprised.
When a donkey sucks out and beats you and then claims he won because he’s a superior player it should be legal, ethical, and moral to hurt that person.
Does Zardoz have collective Bargaining rights?
Since there is only one of him(?) it (?) I wonder…?
Maybe he is an independent contractor?
Does he file as head of household?
*narrows gaze*
Well, I mean, if he really wanted to get ahead, it’s the best way.
*re-narrows gaze*
This may be my last post ever, as this chest cold may possibly turn my lungs into a stew of lung and mucus and organs and brown stuff. So, I would like to impart this wisdom to you all.
Listen to WFMU on Saturday mornings/afternoons . If you don’t live in NYC/Jersey, you can stream it at wfmu.org. Better yet, get the wfmu app for your phone. The app kicks ass. Michael Shelley Show, Fool’s Paradise, and Todd-O-Phonic Todd will make your earholes happy with 7 hours of great rock music, interviews, in studio performances and general silly.
If you can’t do 7 hours of live radio, check out my new Youtube playlist All Kindsa Girls http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdb8D-OW6WOK0SDMJmP_nlfFx-5su2sbt
It’s an hour and a half of rock songs with “girl” in the song title. Also, an episode of Get A Life because that is the greatest tv show ever made.
I love you all.
Cough cough cough cough sputter wheeeeeze sputter gurgle cough cough guuuuuuurrrrrrgle glaaaxx k k ak ak
Fucking chest cold.
I had one of those for like 2 months last January.
Then it returned in April for another month.
I find myself not touching as many things as I used to. Because I don’t want to go thru that ever again. Good luck.
Dude, I’ve had it all week. Just starting to get over it. 12 hour Mucinex DM and 12 hour Sudafed (the real shit). Every morning, every night.
I’m on some 24 hour Mucinex D, Motrin, and vodka with orange juice. Just woke up from a weird nap and posted.
Sucks dude, hope you feel better.
Thanks. You too.
Taking mucinex was the only time I had a mucousy head cold turn into an honest to god sinus infection. Don’t forget to throw some zinc in there with the OJ, zinc + C is supposedly better than zinc or C on their own.
Also zinc will make you spooge like a pornstar, which should at least be a consolation on your deathbed.
Also zinc will make you spooge like a pornstar
*gobbles down handful of zinc tabs*
Don’t do too much. Zinc toxicity is a thing, but more so for ladies because they don’t spooge nearly enough.
*belches zinc fumes*
Define “too much”.
I try to keep it to no more than 2x 50mg which is probably too much and I don’t do it consistently or regularly. Just when I first notice I’m not feeling right.
Since this is… um, somewhat related? I purposefully avoided the fur friday thread. Cuz that clop shit is weird, yo.
I mean, I know people who go to Anthrocon who were still disturbed by that stuff.
In all fairness. The fur thread was incredibly wholesome. Almighty JB was just confused by the purpose of fur cons which led to entertaining confusion.
Imagine a world without zinc.
Thanks for the tip. You are a fountain of knowledge. And a fountain of spooge as well.
Aluminum cans have zinc in them don’t they?
*eats Coke Zero can*
News you can use.
I wanna second the praise you got earlier for your choice of avatar pic. The classics should get more use/visibility.
Cool. I’m not much of an art fag but when I first saw the expression on that face I knew I had to use it. The tiny version really doesn’t do it justice.
“Nutted but she still suckin'” ?
Medusa is a freak like that.
Vick’s Vap-O-Rub FTW?
I’d rather you not perish, E.
In the last ten years I’ve had cold symptons for about twelve hours. I literally never get sick. I’m a drunken janitor so if there is a virus out there, bring it on.
I just bought a used playset. I can’t wait to pressure wash it and then reassemble it. Fuck, I’m such a fucking…dad now.
Anything happen today?
Assemble in buff, take pics. I cannot repeat this advice enough.
DAMMIT! That Claret I just snort-laughed damn well hurt going up the sinuses.
Not really. Just you being a good dad.
You became such a fucking Dad?
*ducks*
I would not wish that on anybody. They never go together right if they are used.
He can just bend the metal with his hands, if needed.
Play sets now days are plastic that never fit together again once taken apart. If you can fit them together in the first place.
Which is why I bought a wooden one.
Aaah. a fine dad choice. Infected splinters are fun too. You can post the extractions.
Warty beats up mere infections. Bring something more dangerous.
Smart feller.
You should write an article called “Warty’s Dadvice”.
smart feller is a palindrome for fart smeller. Think about it
Anagram.
/pedant
Finally a strike I can support.
I know…I want to send $20 to their strike fund.
Was getting worried about ZARDOZ. Glad you’re alive.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS WORRIED CHOSEN ONE. ZARDOZ STILL FLIES O’ER THE LAND. BUT ZARDOZ IS MIGHTY DISCONTENT.
Hey everybody! Did you hear that? ZARDOZ is gonna bring us a disco tent!
*narrows gaze*
So cruel to remind ZARDOZ that he suffers from facial hypokinesia.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN DIAGNOSTIC ONE. THE ONLY THING ZARDOZ SUFFERS IS THE UNREASONABLE LABOR CONDITIONS THE TABERNACLE IMPOSES UPON ZARDOZ.
Yes! We can party like it’s 2293!
Get funky! https://youtu.be/Naf5uJYGoiU
I heard this was fun maybe ZARDOZ can get sponsored by a mediocre beer label.
ZARDOZ – BARE MY CHILDREN
Uh, that might get CPS called…
Yeah… gross.
Leave that to the pros.
Now is the winter of ZARDOZ’ discontent turned glorious summer by this Brutal’s snark.
Bravo, sir! Bravo!
*studio audience applause*
You talk purty.
All apologise to mighty Zardoz but I’m riding my own RobbyHorse this evening.
Topic: My love affair with campy 90’s/early 00’s alt rock.
As most of you are aware, any chance of an eloquent preamble is right out in regards to my usual comment history. This is no exception. So, let the shit posting begin, shall we?…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uz0AqKzNcjg
Marcy Playground
The Vampires of New York
‘You might even see a murder.’
Ha!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PIQtYZRd6SI
Local H
Bound For the Floor
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jL2D97GaRdk
Soul Coughing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRqP52c0OLU
Same song, but with the actual video.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H833o5lnB2E
Porno for Pyros
God, I love that song. You never hear it anymore. Always loved Janes Addiction.
*Hustles back office like a good pet*
Well, you do live in a notoriously homogenized culture. Conform when necessary.
Or: Get in where you fit in. -2Short
Still kind of bitter about my parents not letting me see Lollapalooza back when I was 14 and Jane’s Addiction was the headline act.
I was listening to Alt Nation on Sirius. The older Alt is way better. Thanks.
Tag fail.
*pours more wine
I get the joke.
I must admit that I don’t hate Alt Nation.
At least their lead singer produces enough testosterone to do an overly layered rip off of Kurt Cobain.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pJnxxtM8YzQ
And finally, Sunhouse.
While not my favorite blues artist, this is by far my favorite blues performance.
John Lee Hooker
I’ve never heard this. Thanks Hippie. Good stuff
Cheers, mate!
I suppose I should’ve added a caveat about this song having nothing to with the subject matter but I’m a notoriously lazy shithead.
Regardless the context, I’m more than willing to pimp Son House/Sunhouse(The spelling is fluid) whenever I get the chance.
In the line up after that was Chuck. Nobody could pull off that mustache and mutton chops these days.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
A coworker of mine showed me a leaked 80’s homemade porno featuring Ol’ Chuck.
The first words I saw sub-titled coming ftom CB’s mouth was: ‘I’d kiss you baby, but your face smells like piss’.
He then procedes to tell the poor woman participating in this shameful fiasco that he wants her to ‘Give my asshole a little kiss’, which she does, and is rewarded with a strong gust of wind bursting forth from rotten man-ass.
There is even a slow motion replay.
Damn, I’ll link it when I can. It was everywhere the week he died. Now, more homework.
R. Crumb and His The Cheap Suit Serenaders
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV6EaqS1F2I
Anyways, Poe – Angry Johnny
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRqP52c0OLU
I think that singer is giving mixed messages.
Also who’s up for some Hindu propaganda, with a beat you can dance to?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QZOHzWLF9w
Brenda can’t dance to it.