After the newly-founded religion of the Latter Day Saints, under the leadership of Brigham Young (successor to the martyred Joseph Smith), moved to Utah, it presented the federal government with some problems, as soon as the United States had acquired the area from Mexico. Young and other Mormon leaders announced a revelation from God – Mormon men were strongly encouraged (to put it mildly) to marry multiple wives. Joseph Smith had been doing this in private but starting around 1852 the revelation was out in the open.
Mormon theologians and polemicists made clear that their “principle” – polygamy – was far superior to monogamy. The great patriarchs in the Old Testament had done it with God’s approval. Polygamous unions supposedly produced healthy children. Men with many wives were not tempted, like monogamists, to frequent prostitutes or engage in fornication or adultery, thus polygamy was an answer to these social ills.
Opponents of Mormon polygamy – whom historian Stephen Prothero calls “conservatives” although the critics included prominent feminists – denounced polygamy as barbarous, oppressive to women, and a practice which had harmed civilization in other continents.
At first the federal government’s solution to the Mormon question was to make Brigham Young the governor of Utah. After all, Utah was a federal territory, most of its settlers were Mormons, and they’d obey Young.
There was another consideration. To be sure, polygamy was problematic, but should Congress be telling the people of the territories what domestic institutions they should have? Southerners and their Northern Democratic allies said no – thinking of course of slavery. But polygamy was a domestic institution, too, so if Congress started banning it, people might get ideas about banning territorial slavery, also.
Indeed, the Republican platform in 1856 said Congress should ban polygamy and slavery in the territories, calling the two institutions “twin relics of barbarism.”
Democrat James Buchanan defeated the Republican candidate, on a platform of keeping Congress from meddling in the question of territorial slavery. Buchanan did meddle with the Mormons just a little bit in Utah, to the extent of deciding that Utah wasn’t the Papal States, and the religious leader shouldn’t double as the head of the civil government. So Buchanan fired Young as civil governor and replaced him with a non-Mormon.
Mormons referred to non-Mormons as “Gentiles,” and it wasn’t meant as a compliment. Rather than submit to the Gentile governor, the Mormons launched a guerrilla war, but the rebellion was put down with the help of U. S. general Albert Sydney Johnston.
OK, so General Johnston and a bunch of other people waged a Civil War, and for our purposes the result was that most of the Southerners left Congress, leaving a Republican majority which passed laws against both slavery and polygamy, the twin relics, in the federal territories. The Morrill Act of 1862 prescribed punishments for polygamists, but was rarely enforced. President Lincoln, though he signed the law, suggested leaving the polygamists alone, telling a folksy tale about a farmer plowing around a stump which was too big for him to remove. Or maybe Lincoln told the story about the salesman and the farmers’ three daughters – who cares what joke he told, Mormon-majority juries didn’t convict people under the law even if the local officials cared enough to prosecute.
Still, the Mormon leadership wanted a test case to show the polygamy was part of their religious freedom, protected by the First Amendment’s guarantee of the free exercise of religion. So they got a guy named Reynolds to get prosecuted and to appeal his conviction to the U. S. Supreme Court.
The Supreme Court, in Reynolds’ case, decided that Congress could ban polygamy in federal territories. There was no First Amendment right to engage in such a practice – polygamy was a blot on civilization. The true meaning of the First Amendment was spelled out in President Thomas’ Jefferson’s 1802 letter to the Danbury Baptists – the First Amendment erected “a wall of separation between Church & State.” The phrase (which isn’t in the Constitution) is fairly controversial, but for the Mormons the bottom line was that polygamy was on the state’s side of the wall, not religion’s side.
Now it was time to put some teeth in the anti-polygamy laws. It was the 1880s, and Congress wasn’t down with Mormons marrying multiple ladies. So Congress tightened the screws in 1882 and again in 1887. Prosecuting polygamists – both for their multiple marriages and for “unlawfully cohabiting” with their surplus wives – was made easier through keeping polygamists off the juries. Gentile juries began convicting Mormon patriarchs, and the federal pen started looking crowded.
Plus Congress took the vote away from many polygamists, and seized the property of the Mormon church for its defiance of the polygamy law. Some polygamists went underground, trying to evade detection from the sex police. Others went to the recently-established Mormon colonies in Mexico. While I don’t think Mexican law allowed polygamy, there wasn’t the same level of legal repression as in the United States.
The Mormon leaders thought enough was enough. It was time for Utah to be its own state, so that under the Constitution, it would no longer be subject to federal morals laws. The Mormon leadership began a campaign to persuade the public that the whole polygamy thing was exaggerated, and that the Mormons were turning away from the practice. This wasn’t strictly true, but the Mormons had found some new friends, wealthy railway companies and railroad promoters, who were willing to spread the wealth around among newspapers and Congress members to create a favorable climate of opinion for the Mormons. If Utah ended up as a state, these railway interests expected that the government would be dominated by grateful Mormons, happy to pay back their benefactors.
To help with the public-relations campaign, boss Mormon Wilford Woodruff issued a declaration in 1890 suggesting that he would hereafter urge his flock to adhere to the federal antipolygamy laws and not to contract new polygamous marriages.
The new declaration basically indicated a new determination to keep the polygamy on the down low. Men who already had multiple wives (married before 1890) would not be hassled by the church for continuing to cohabit. If men wanted extra wives after 1890, they could go to one of the Mexican settlements – there was nothing in United States law against being a polygamist in Mexico (or keeping extra wives there).
The Mormons and their allies could now claim (with some truthiness) to have gone beyond polygamy. Another step was necessary. Hitherto, the political parties in Utah had been divided between the (Mormon) People’s Party and the (Gentile) Liberal Party. The Mormon leadership decided to make Utah competitive between Democrats and Republicans, dangling before the two major parties the prospect of Senators, Congressmen, and electoral votes. It was a delicate operation, since the traditional Republican support of anti-polygamy laws made Mormons Democratic by inclination – and the leadership wanted a politically-competitive state which neither party could write off or take for granted. So the leaders sent the word out that those of the faithful who hadn’t already become Democrats should become Republicans, thus setting up the needed balance.
These various underhanded tactics worked – Congress agreed in 1894 that if Utah adopted an anti-polygamy state constitution, it could become a state in 1896. The voters complied, and the state of Utah entered the Union in 1896. Polygamy was a crime on the books, but that was a state law, and the state law wasn’t enforced with the same vigor as the old federal anti-polygamy law had been. The railroad interests were disappointed that they didn’t get the keys to the state treasury – they thought they deserved at least that much at the hands of the new Mormon-dominated government in exchange for advocating statehood. But the deed was done.
Then something happened to bring the whole polygamy issue back into unwelcome public attention.
In 1903, the Utah Legislature chose the Republican Reed Smoot for U. S. Senate. Smoot was a successful, hardworking businessman, and a monogamist. He was also one of Mormonism’s 12 Apostles – part of the top leadership of the Mormon Church, and it soon transpired that not all of the church leadership shared Smoot’s personal preference for monogamy.
The Senate provisionally gave Smoot a seat, then its Committee on Privileges and Elections held hearings on Smoot’s qualifications. The issue at hand was whether the top Mormon leadership, of which Smoot was a member, encouraged polygamy.
During about three years of hearings, it transpired that the top Mormon leadership was riddled with polygamy. President Joseph F. Smith – the boss Mormon – had several wives. The practice was still widespread.
This was a problem because it was the Progressive era, and reforming society was the “in” thing once again. While the progressives were not so deluded and mad with power lust as to think they could simply pass morals legislation to supersede the laws of the states, there were rumblings about an anti-polygamy amendment to the U. S. Constitution. The Mormon leadership decided that it was time for the other shoe to drop. In 1890 they’d put their polygamous practices on the down-low, no longer advertising them. Now in the early 20th century they stopped polygamy for real.
Fortunately, previous Mormon criticisms of monogamy turned out to be exaggerated. When they became monogamists, Mormon men didn’t rush off en masse to the brothels. To this day, Mormon family life, while subject to imperfections and scandals like anything human, has compared favorably with family life in other communities.
Congress had banned the immigration of polygamists in 1891. In the Progressive era, they banned the advocates of polygamy from immigrating. This caused diplomatic tension with the Ottoman Empire, which was indignant at the idea that Muslims – even monogamist Muslims – might be kept out of the United States merely for believing that the Muslim faith says about polygamy sometimes being OK. In practice, there was no Muslim ban, and only those who actually called for the introduction of polygamy into the U. S. were hit with the ban. In 1990, Congress decided that advocates of polygamy could immigrate here, just so long as they weren’t polygamists themselves.
By this time, all of this had grown irrelevant to mainstream Mormonism, though one still hears of the splinter Mormon sects.
As far as the mainstream Mormons are concerned – that is, most adherents to the religion – a contemporary Mormon apologist summed up polygamy this way: “here are the facts: yes we did and no we don’t.”
As to Reed Smoot, we will meet him again, but for now let me mention the possibly-true story about Senator Boies Penrose, who allegedly said he preferred a polygamist who didn’t polyg to a monogamist who didn’t monag.
Works Consulted
Kathleen Flake, The Politics of American Religious Identity: The Seating of Senator Reed Smoot, Mormon Apostle. Chapel Hill, University of North Carolina Press, 2004.
C. Carmon Hardy, Solemn Covenant: The Mormon Polygamous Passage. Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1992.
Edward Leo Lyman, Political Deliverance: The Mormon Quest for Utah Statehood. Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1986.
Charles S. Peterson and Brian Q. Cannon, The Awkward State of Utah: Coming of Age in the Nation, 1896-1945. Salt Lake City: University of Utah Press, 2015.
Stephen Prothero, “The Mormon Question,” in Why Liberals Win the Culture Wars (Even When They Lose Elections). New York: HarperOne, 2016, pp. 99-137.
Thomas Cottam Romney, The Mormon Colonies in Mexico. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1938.
Claire A. Smearman, “Second Wives’ Club: Mapping the Impact of Polygamy in U.S. Immigration Law,” Berkeley Journal of International Law
Volume 27, Issue 2, Article 3 (2009).
The fact that the Supreme Court continues to reject cases challenging polygamy laws shows how disingenuous the ‘Loves Win’ crowd truly is. The ways in which Mormons were persecuted in this country would make any other faith practitioner blush.
WTF? So, you think SCOTUS takes their marching orders from gay activists? That’s an outstanding combination of SoCon butt-hurt and tinfoil nuttery.
Failure to help is not the same as persecution. The Mormons, otoh, went out of their way to oppose state recognition of same sex marriage. Perfectly understandable that those folks wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.
Perhaps if you whine more loudly someone will care.
So, you think SCOTUS takes their marching orders from gay activists?
That is nutty. Everyone knows (((who))) really controls SCOTUS
When somebody at a football board I hang out on praised the 49ers for the “Love Wins” posts following Obergfell, I said I was impressed to see how many people were in support of plural marriage. Needless to say, this didn’t go down well.
What went down even worse was that I suggested Obergfell was decided the way it was in part because, thankfully, gays are no longer seen as icky. But plural marriage in the US is advocated largely by certain fundamentalist types who are seen as icky, and whom it’s still OK to see as icky.
And to make it perfectly clear, I’m fine with plural marriage even though I find most of its practitioners to be icky – particularly the hippies.
I vaguely recall there was a state or territory paying bounties on Mormon scalps at one point. I always wondered how they validated the scalps.
Was it Missouri that banned Mormons?
Might have been, during that whole Mormon war deal.
It’s the Missouri extermination order of 1838
It was time for Utah to be its own state, so that under the Constitution, it would no longer be subject to federal morals laws.
Except for that one little problem…
For a new group starting out it would make sense to try encourage polygamy in order to maximize the number of fertile woman in the group. But after a generation or two the practice would become completely unsustainable unless the extra wives came from outside of the group.
Or you had a good war or other types of violent activity that greatly reduced the number of available men.
Ah, but it’s embarrassing for religions to conveniently do a 180 on doctrinal issues. Makes people ask embarrassing questions.
Montana was on the cutting edge of polygamy in 2015.
Huh. I thought for sure that the legal principle that Montanans would challenge would be the prohibition against bestiality. I thought some rancher would want to make an honest sheep out of his favorite “Montana Blonde” before the polygamists got rolling.
That’s cold, Jimbo!
Also, I haven’t heard any update on those folks, but I hope they’re doing well.
Hah! Growing up, I did a lot of mule deer hunting in eastern MT (centered around Glendive). The guys I hunted with were always making a ton of sheep jokes.
We almost drove into the ditch one day because we saw some rancher on a horse who for some reason (probably injury?) had a sheep across his saddle as he was walking along some pasture. The laughing and howling had to be loud enough for him to hear.
Hahahahah! Yeah, it’s a pretty hilarious regional joke around here. Folks in western MT say it about the folks in eastern MT, etc.
Ugh, you made me remember Gary Mule Deer. Perhaps the least talented comedian in history who somehow attained celebrity.
That’s a funny way of spelling Paula Poundstone
Sorry, Mr. Collier, you are not on the special snowflake list.
Yeah, I would love to have seen that.
How did a picture of the 1933 Pittsburgh Steelers get into an article about Mormons?
Good observation. I can’t tell if the light color is yellow or not.
I think I’m the one person who liked the bumblebee uniforms.
I also like the Packers’ blue jerseys with the number in a circle on the chest, except that they had to make the digits bigger for the benefit of TV. (The originals had a pretty small circle for the numbers.)
Here is the original 1929 Packer uniform.
1) Once again, nice work Eddie!
2) A pair of Mormon missionaries walked across the parking lot in front of me while I was reading this. Strange coincidence.
3) Sen Smoot was an Apostle, so that would make him Smoot Holy?
It’s a conspiracy. Cut your wifi and get the hell out of there.
I saw a few missionaries in Tahiti. I felt really sorry for them. It’s not really long pants and bike riding weather.
When I was in grad school, one of my office-mates was an RM (returned missionary, in local slang). His mission was in the south of France. Every RM has their “mission photo” displayed, and he was no exception. So there he was, in his black pants, white shirt, black tie, holding his bicycle amidst hundreds of hot topless girls. And of course he had the biggest shit-eating grin I’ve ever seen.
Had a Mormon pair knock on my door a couple months ago. I interjected before they could introduce themselves: “Sorry, I’m not a Christian and I’ve got something going on the stove.” They looked more nonplussed than offended. “Do you need help?” one asked.
I’ve had that happen a few times, where they offer to help with anything I need. If I say no, they usually say to tell them if anything comes up.
so that would make him Smoot Holy?
*narrows gaze*
Gonna have to stick a tariff on those things. Can’t be handing them out freely.
Swiss’s narrow gaze has been known to increase work efficiency by at least .01%
My thoughts on the Mormons are pretty strong. Utah is in my top three of states that I would kick out of the Union if I could.
uh ok….
Clarifying to filthy foreigners why please.
Sounds pretty strong.
All the Mormons I’ve ever met have been really nice. Like, really, ridiculously nice. And helpful. Some of my favorite coworkers have been Mormons. What, in particular, grates on you about them, if I may be so bold?
They’re by and large happy and successful.
That’s consistent with my experience, as well. My only complaint is that I used to be Mormon-bait, apparently. They could never see the tattoos, the piercings, and my deviant little mind–all they saw was a wholesome looking, young, white girl who smiles a lot [nevermind the chemical assistance behind the smile].
Most Mormons I’ve met are genuinely nice people, but I know my dad had a pretty negative view of them, mostly because a contractor he worked with and a neighbor were both devout Mormons and were also both utter dickheads.
I just told him that assholes are assholes, they’re not specific to any particular group.
They could never see the tattoos, the piercings, and my deviant little mind
You say that like the forbidden and unattainable isn’t a core male attractor.
Well, those just don’t seem like things Mormons would be interested in. I assume they’d actively discourage every single one of those things.
The only person I met in Utah who wasn’t absurdly pleasant was a non-Mormon woman. She wasn’t unpleasant by any means, but you could tell she found the whole thing faintly ridiculous. But she said they were very nice and let her keep a coffee pot at work.
I worked with a couple of Mormon sisters at the bank. Nice and polite to a fault.
Then one day a French-Canadian asshole separatist (I kid you not) made her cry for having the temerity, get this, for using a deposit slip in English as opposed to the French one. He didn’t just make his case and let it go. Nope. The piece of shit – I swear I’m tempted to post his name he was such a jerk off. I even told him to fuck off once – felt it was necessary to chastise and demean her while ranting it’s about ‘respect’.
They demand respect without giving it themselves.
He made all of our blood boil.
Never have gotten the cultural snobbery of French Canadians. Hey, fucko, you realize you’re not French French, right?
They know, but they’re trying desperately to keep up.
They’re not total pussies yet?
People hated being approached by missionaries in Korea. They’d see white people and figure we were easy targets because of the language. I was always careful to refer to them as Latter Day Saints instead of Mormons and then when they’d find out one of my best friends was the daughter of a the local stake president they’d immediately switch to “So, uh, since you already know this stuff, where can we find decent Mexican food around here?”
I *like* the door-to-door missionizing religions. Our local JWs are friendly and have a way better sense of humor than the ones in other areas I’ve lived.
I also like the door-to-door folks. I may not always have time, but I appreciate their sincerity of belief.
It’s been probably 3 weeks or so since we last met with our cute little JW. (Because she got married and moved to be with her new husband. LAAAAAAME. I was hoping to heathen-ize her, maybe, if she was into it.)
Our JWs show up on weekend mornings while I’m usually in the middle of getting my day started. The older gent who is our normal guy generally makes a few jokes about what time he needs to be back for breakfast whenever it’s clear I’ve got bacon on the stove, and I’ve had a couple of times where I’ve opened the door in a towel and he’s been completely unflappable but his middle aged lady cohort has been visibly distracted by a reasonably attractive, naked-under-a-towel, 30-something opening the door. Doubly awkward was the time that one of them brought their teenage boy along and he was visibly distracted by a reasonably attractive, naked-under-a-towel, 30-something opening the door.
I flip through The Watchtower and like it a hell of a lot more than the AFA Journal, but still not for me.
Riven still gets her milk delivered, wink-wink.
I was secretly hoping for a more NSFW reference (NSFW)
What’s up with the hair scrunchy?
I think that’s just a silicone cock ring. With a dick like that I’m assuming he has bloodflow problems.
True story, as a pre-teen I thought the condom was just the elastic band. In my imagination it cinched off the shaft to avoid making babymaking juice.
This cold that I’ve had since Tuesday (the 11th), which has now rendered me all but speechless (seriously so much coughing), was absolutely worth everything Mr. Riven and I did that helped me contract it.
I don’t care how kinky you are, licking doorknobs is no way to get off.
I don’t see it on the list.
Riven’s kiss isn’t on your list?
Because she got married and moved to be with her new husband. LAAAAAAME.
Well the whole ‘being disowned by her family and friends’ probably had something to do with it. I’ve only ever had to sit through two screaming matches over someone dropping out of a religion, and it was for a former Muslim and Jehovah Witness respectively.
A woman I know was a former Mormon who married a Protestant and then left the religion. AFAIK, her family still doesn’t communicate with her.
My mom wasn’t particularly happy that my sister married a Protestant, and one whose parents did missionary work in Nepal no less. (The guy’s dad was an electrical engineer who figured out a way to make cheaper hearing aids for the third world, and some Christian organization sent them to various places to do the charity work and, if the people picked up the Christianity too, so much the better.)
Some Korean evangelicals figured out where we live and have been dropping by a LOT to talk to my wife (who is Korean). My wife wants nothing to do with them, but is too polite to tell them to urinate off, so she hides.
If the kids answer the door, they tell them that she isn’t home. So they keep coming back.
Lately, I have told them that she is home, but doesn’t want to talk to them. They still keep coming back.
It has begun to lose its charm.
Just tell them you already go to a different church (whatever the mainstream one in town is) and you are very happy with it. While you share their faith and wish them well, they are barking up the wrong tree.
In my experience this makes them go and stay away. (It’s the truth in our case)
You’d think Korean evangelicals would go after non-Koreans if they want to spread Koreanism.
I’d be interested in hearing their pitch. Does it involve K-Pop? Working for a big electronics firm? Cute Korean girls?
My office was a generous mix of Christian sects with a Catholic boss and one Buddhist coworker (out of the Koreans). We all got invited out by one of the evangelicals to church and they did the whole service in Korean and English for our benefit and fed us dinner. Coming from a religious background I absolutely applaud the combination of kindness, enthusiasm, but respect for the fact that we didn’t owe them our time that they showed.
That said there was more than one occasion where wild-eyed women were grabbing people on the corners at a major intersection in the town we lived in and screaming “DO YOU LOVE JESUS?” at you while shaking you by the collar. I believe they were associated with the Christianish new religious movement World Mission Society Church of God. One of my coworkers got very good at barking “I DO NOT LOVE JESUS” in Korean by the time he finished his contract.
Moonies?
Are those still a thing since Sun-Myung died?
Some Mormon missionaries showed up at my shop one day and were absolutely eager to help me do things like paint over graffiti or clean the floors. Nice kids.
When I was working at Borders Books many moons ago, I worked with this Mormon girl who was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life and it didn’t hurt that she was good looking. I always wanted to ask her on a date but the Mormon views and mine wildly clashed, so I never asked her out.
I’ll take kill with kindness over kill with legislation anyday.
I’ve always found Mormons to be quite pleasant and wouldn’t mind having them as neighbors in the least. Having worked in a company with large swathes of Mormons and the wife working in a mostly Mormon office for a while, the downside is being on the outside of the clique unless you wear the magic underwear.
Instead of asking you to elaborate on your feelings toward Mormons, I’d rather give my list of three states I’d kick out.
3) Massachusetts
2) New York
1) California
Give me a fourth and it’s Connecticut. Fifth is Illinois.
Since I live in Illinois, I wished there was a way that we can force Cook County to become it’s own state.
No Louisiana? Even with this morning’s links?
Once I get rid of the deep blue states, then I’ll move on to the worst of the reds.
Don’t forget
Rhode Island
Maryland
Virginia (at least Northern VA)
Not a state but DC would be up there too.
Utah wouldn’t crack my top 25.
Not a state but DC would be up there too.
I should have mentioned that. Forget expelling DC, it should be nuked from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. Since Maryland will take a lot of damage from that strike, it’s win-win!*
* Hyperion and other Marylanders, I’ll be sure to give advance notice so y’all can GTFO.
I appreciate that. I hope you have some new clients for me also after you nuke all of the current ones.
You might have to find actual gainful employment! 🙂
While we’re at it, I vote for Colorado to throw Boulder, Denver, and Fort Collins out so we can put them up for auction.
Utah has awesome national parks, why would we want to give those up?
1. New Jersey
2. Massholio
3. New York
4. Cali – it’s really far away from here
5. Arizona – for continuing to keep that asshole McCain in Congress
AZ? 🙁 I thought we waz fwiendz?
Shit, you guys already nuked Maryland, and all I wanted was to get rid of McCain.
Mormonophobia is a thing now?
Tell you what, hows about you leave the Union, and we keep Utah? That way the LDS won’t bother you, and we keep a fairly productive state.
“Opponents of Mormon polygamy – whom historian Stephen Prothero calls “conservatives” although the critics included prominent feminists – denounced polygamy as barbarous, oppressive to women, and a practice which had harmed civilization in other continents.”
Those progs and SoCons really have been teaming up for a long time. Seems that their hatred for each other is far outweighed by their desire to tell everyone else how to live.
OK, but I was trying to get in a few hits at Prothero, whose book I found aggravating. To paraphrase George Orwell in another context, Prothero uses “conservative” to mean “something undesirable.” Then he concludes “see, conservatives have always been wrong!”
Very nice article, thank you for the information.
I do love how anti-polygamist most Mormons are now. It is frequently amusing to hear the various historical defenses for the practice as being anything other than “dudes want to bang a lot of chicks”. Essentially, they are forced to figure out a reason to say “We were right then, and are right now as well.”
The defenders remind me of the South Park episode mocking the coverage of the Tiger Woods scandal, where everyone was acting shocked that he would actually cheat on his wife.
Received wisdom is always right, no matter the temporal discrepancies.
I think it was… Boston Legal? Maybe? Anyway, fictional court case fighting for polygamist rights.
I think a lot more women would get behind this idea if it was presented like this.
You sure have the men onboard.
That’s how I pitched it to my gf. Now we just need the third party.
I think Boston Legal also had an episode where they defended a bestiality case. The defendant was portrayed sympathetically, he was genuinely in love with his cow.
I think you’re correct. They did a couple episodes centering around Aspie characters who loved inanimate objects, as well. Takes all kinds.
I liked the one where a woman got pregnant by holding the guy’s semen in her mouth and he was going to be on the hook for child support. But the best BL episode was Son of the Defender.
“…after keeping his semen in her mouth, then inseminating herself with it.”
The way I wrote it read as though one could get pregnant through fellatio.
I only very vaguely recall that one. Apparently it’s some kind of tie in to another show from 1957? Nicely done, if true!
And that’s just crazy. Everyone know you can only get pregnant through vaginal or anal sex.
It was, Riven. Shatner was on The Defenders back in the day, and they wove the footage from that episode into the BL storyline.
Denny Crane!
They’ve also steering very clear of the whole “the church changed its mind about black people in 1978” thing. But Smith was pretty open about black Mormons, it was changes later that caused the shift.
“Open” or not, they still couldn’t hold the higher priesthood. But yes, all the teaching about their black skin being the mark of cain and receiving it as a sign of their cowardice in the pre-existence tends to change the dynamic.
They’re really going to do it, they’re going to go full on retard.
Democrats new subservience to the far-left
It was a question?
The Republicans should just ram through Obamacare repeal and a flat tax. Until they split, they will control Congress.
It is likely that there will never be a full repeal* for 2 reasons (primarily):
1. The requirement to cover “pre-existing conditions”
2. The subsidies and, to a lesser extent, the Medicaid expansion
These provisions are broadly popular and nobody in Congress really has the balls to point out that all of the unpopular parts are there to pay for the popular parts. In short, it will probably live on like any welfare program, where everybody says they think it’s a great idea but nobody actually wants to pay for it, so let’s soak the rich and/or devalue the currency some more.
* = I will gladly eat my words should it happen
All the ACA is, is a massive tax on the middle class and a rationing system on healthcare. I call the latter portion population control since no one can afford to go to the doctor unless they’re dying and then they might die before they get an appointment. All they would have to do is take away the mandate and it will repeal itself, no one actually wants this massive pile of shit except some cronies who are profiting off of it and government control freaks.
Tom Perez freaks me out. His skull… it’s…. strange.
He could be one of the lizards.
Um, so I’m still confused. Where do I go to register for multiple wives? Utah? Mexico?
Asking for a friend.
You can have all the wives you want as long as they used to be men.
I feel this rule is tough but fair.
SugarFree’s version of Islam sucks balls (no pun intended).
Silence, you ham-fingered jackanape!
Become a member of the Saudi royal family?
Yeah, kinda late for that one. Trust me, future sultan of Brunei would have been one card I would have thoroughly enjoyed pulling out of the deck of life.
Least the federal government isn’t banning/regulating reincarnation.
They should just ban death. Problem solved.
They’d tax and regulate it if they could find a way. I’m surprised someone hasn’t thought of that yet. But they will, they’re starting to run out of things to tax.
Sssshhhh! You’re gonna give them ideas for a funeral tax.
That’s what the regulations on funeral homes and coffin buying are.
One is enough for me.
Spent some summers in a small (250 folks) town in Utah. Found memories of my friend and I riding our Schwinns through town to the dump with our .22s on our backs ( we were maybe 10)
“You boys out to kill yourselves some bottles?”
“Yes ma’am Mrs Alred.”
“Well, you boys be careful..
“Yes ma’am,”
See also: Arizona, New Mexico, most of flyover.
Yeah. That sounds like my childhood in Small Town, ND. One day the the local deputy pulled up to me as I was walking with my BB gun. He just BS’d a bit with me for about 5 minutes, and told me to have fun.
I think today you’d be the subject of an editorial about how right-wing parents are just *inviting* police to pre-emptively shoot children.
Reverse, auntieeeeee, reverse
Reverse Auntie? How does that differ from reverse cowgirl?
One of my great great (not sure how many generations) grandfathers did time in the Idaho state pen for unlawful cohabitation. The family tree is interesting around that time.
Plz don’t fight on account of me.
Looks like an interesting article, can’t read it at work right now, but hopefully when I get home.
It’s interesting how much polygamy still influences the modern LDS Church, for good or ill. And it isn’t as far passed as we’d like to admit. In fact, current 1st Counselor in the First Presidency, Henry B. Eyring’s grandfather was a practicing polygamist until 1956 and did not face any church discipline or prosecution. My own great-grandfather was involved in post-manifesto, which I had no idea until this last year; thanks, FamilySearch! The Year of Polygamy podcast (http://www.yearofpolygamy.com/) is a fascinating coverage of the subject from its inception in Mormondom to the current practices in fundamentalist groups.
“While the progressives were not so deluded and mad with power lust as to think they could simply pass morals legislation to supersede the laws of the states”
* slow clap *
It’s worth noting that while the LDS church no longer practices legal polygamy, they still practice spiritual polygamy. It’s pretty clever and/or awful.