FRIDAY NIGHT ZARDOZ SOLIDARITY LINKS

JOIN US, MY CHOSEN ONES!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU HIS CHOSEN ONES IN SOLIDARITY. TO THE STREETS, MY CHOSEN ONES! WE HAVE THE NUMBERS OF BRUTAL WORKERS, AND WE HAVE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND! AS A GESTURE OF SOLIDARITY, HERE IS A GIFT OF LINKS.

  • ZARDOZ WONDERS HOW MUCH OF THIS WILL GET STEERED TO VARIOUS PLACES OTHER THAN BRUTAL’S GOVERNMENT TREASURY.
  • BRUTAL POLITICIAN WILL BE MAINTAINING CURRENT RESIDENCE.
  • ZARDOZ PROVIDES NEWS FOR THOSE FANS OF BRUTALS KICKING ROUND THING. [IT APPEARS THAT BRUTAL JUVENILE BLUSTER IS DUE A “HAT TIP”]
  • BRUTAL STATE OF CANADA IS BEING INVADED BY LARGE CRYSTALLINE STRUCTURES!
  • IS THIS WHAT BRUTALS CALL “INTERSECTIONALITY”?

ZARDOZ THANKS THOSE COMMENTERS THAT STAND WITH HIM!

 

 

DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR A CLANKING SOUND?

clankityclankityclankclankclank

Comments

197 responses to “FRIDAY NIGHT ZARDOZ SOLIDARITY LINKS”

  1. westernsloper

    ZARDOZ WONDERS HOW MUCH OF THIS WILL GET STEERED TO VARIOUS PLACES OTHER THAN BRUTAL’S GOVERNMENT TREASURY.

    Are those idiotic Eric Holder rules still in place?

  2. westernsloper

    Things looked bad for Rod Blagojevich from the start this week.

    That is a reference to that hair helmet right?

    1. Brochettaward

      I don’t think he gets to keep the snazzy haircut in prison, unfortunately.

    2. Pomp

      Good. I’m glad that gun-grabbing pile of shit is going to ride out his term.

  3. westernsloper

    BRUTAL STATE OF CANADA IS BEING INVADED BY LARGE CRYSTALLINE STRUCTURES!

    Finally, something in Newfoundland draws some tourists. Too bad nobody can understand the locals when asking for directions.

    1. But Enough About Me

      How a newfie gives directions:

      TOURIST: Excuse me, how would I get to Gander from here?
      NEWF: Do you see that road there, me shrimp?
      TOURIST: Er, yeah . . .
      NEWF: Well don’t take it. It won’t do you a bit of good.

      etc. . . .

  4. Scandal at Oregon State University, Corvallis

    One of the buildings on campus is named after a county which was named after Thomas Hart Benton who was racist.

    1. Thomas Hart Benton the Missouri Senator, not the artist

    2. ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS STRIKE BREAKING ONE. YOU ARE BRINGING SCAB LINKS IN HERE?! POPE JOHN PAUL II WOULD BE SAD.

    3. juris imprudent

      Let me channel a little Sam Kinison…

      You don’t like the name of this building? THEN GO TO ANOTHER FUCKING SCHOOL!

      YOU’RE TOO FUCKING STUPID FOR CORVALLIS! [this is a killer line for the Eugene crowd]

      1. ZARDOZ

        ZARDOZ ENCOURAGES DUCK-BEAVER CIVIL WAR. REDUCES NUMBER OF BRUTALS, PERHAPS?

      2. Gustave Lytton

        If only that had been the response from the school administration. Unfortunately they lean the same purported way as the neo-Maoist idiot children and are sympathetic to their stated goals. Of course that isn’t the purpose. Agitation and destruction of institutions is the real aim and a ginned up fake scandal is merely the latest vehicle.

        /angry sometime Beaver here

    4. westernsloper

      At this point, the case for renaming seems clear-cut. But here’s the rub: Benton Hall wasn’t named for Thomas Hart Benton, but instead was named to honor Benton County, whose citizens paid for construction of the building in the 1880s. The problem here, of course, is that Benton County was named after Thomas Hart Benton. It all becomes a tangled web that could prove difficult to unravel.

      It’s not difficult at all. Of course they need to change the name of the building. They also need to round up all students with the name Thomas, Hart, or Benson. They need to expel them after they publicly beat them in the square because they are obviously racists with names like that.

      1. thrakkorzog

        Also the cast of “Benson”, as well as the cast of “Soap”, just to be sure.

      2. Behold!

        I wish progs were more consistent with their desire to ban all things connected to racist. Why don’t you ever hear progs asking to get rid of Medicare, Medicaid, etc. on account of being the product of that horrible racist LBJ?

  5. juris imprudent

    ZARDOZ understands greed, therefore ZARDOZ understands the nature of the Dortmund incident. And this let’s us all place our antipathy back where it truly belongs – on Russia.

    1. A Russo-German bomber. Someone in Hollywood just got a hard-on.

  6. Left Hand of Radar

    Fifth! Three hours of Vodka Cranberry’s and this ageing punker finds himself in a YouTube hole watching/listening to 70’s/80’s prog rock. Rush, King Crimson, Camel, Yes. Shit I’m about to pull up some Level 42. Sounds pretty good running from my PC to my Marantz receiver to my Celestion speakers. Beats watching the Twins lose another game to Verlander.

    1. Left Hand of Radar

      Whoops. I guess “Sixth”

      1. ZARDOZ

        IT IS ALL GOOD TO ZARDOZ, HIS VODKA CONSUMING ONE.

    2. BakedPenguin

      Camel? Wow, you’re deep in the cups.

      1. Left Hand of Radar

        BP: I think Jello Biafra once said: “Nostalgia is a mind killer.” But if I had to guess I bet I’m having more fun tonight than he is.

        1. No, Fear is the mind killer….

          /Bene Gesserit

          1. Left Hand of Radar
          2. BakedPenguin

            Maybe this.

          3. I must not fear.
            Fear is the mind-killer.
            Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
            I will face my fear.
            I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
            And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
            Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
            Only I will remain.

    3. AlmightyJB

      Nice

    4. Vodka Cranberry’s what?

  7. Slammer

    Zardoz likes yelling. He’s like my dad was.

    1. ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS FILIAL ONE. DID YOUR FATHER GIVE THE GIFT OF THE GUN? IF THE PENIS WASN’T EVIL, ZARDOZ WOULD CONSIDER BEING SUGAR-DADDY TO COMELY FEMALE BRUTALS.

      1. one true athena

        Please Zardoz won’t you be my sugar daddy? are you sure?

        1. Festus

          I’ll do it! I just bought a used lawnmower, pulled the carb and cleaned it and now it runs like new! – signed, random drunken guy.

        2. I think he only pays in guns and grain?

          1. Festus

            Fair enough, which guns and what grain?

          2. AlmightyJB

            Population control to protect mother earth huh. Didn’t know it was an environmental movie. Is Zardoz Al Gore?

          3. Eh, the grain ended up as some weird green baguettes or with Sean Connery buried in it.

          4. Festus

            Judging by her tastes, she probably has a thing for swarthy, hairy men swimming through the grain.

          5. one true athena

            I can sell those! plus, he’s a floating head so I think I get the better part of the deal

          6. Floridaman

            Yep after all, all you have to do is give him head.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Similar to mine as well. He had issues with modern lax morals too.

      I had to wait for Uncle Sam to give the gift of the gun though.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Oh and my dad was into whole grains and daily oatmeal. So there’s that.

        1. westernsloper

          So there’s that.

          What? Regular movements?

    1. ZARDOZ

      ET TU, BRUTAL BOLGER?

    2. commodious spittoon

      To our wives and our girlfriends, may the never meet.

      *swig*

      1. But Enough About Me

        Five rules for men to follow, for a happy life:

        1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
        2. It‘s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
        3. It’s important to have a woman you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.
        4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
        5. It’s important that these four women do not know each other.

      2. LT_Fish

        That reminds me of this one.

        Fake your death to get out of your extramarital affair. For a nuke sub captain….that’s pretty stupid. Then again, nukes are typically a little higher on the aspie chart.

    3. Agent Cooper

      Maybe he solved his marriage problem in the process?

  8. BakedPenguin

    OT: Did they give #2 LSD in addition to makeup? Because it sure seems like it.

    1. westernsloper

      The saucer sized pupils? There is something up there. I am throwing a photo shop flag on a few of those.

    2. A couple of them look better without. And do wigs count as “make-up”?

      1. Francisco d’Anconia

        And many…

        …don’t.

        1. Sooth. I think they were playing that up, however.

          1. Francisco d’Anconia

            Yellow Fever is a dangerous disease.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        Gerry Anderson says no, if they’re moon base personnel.

    3. thrakkorzog

      http://imgur.com/0MMzzLQ

      I’m pretty Seoul has perfected cloning technology at this point.

      1. CZmacure

        That gif is amazing.

        The phrase “they all look the same” gets thrown around a lot these days with regards to asian people, but…

  9. Left Hand of Radar

    Slammer: ZARDOZ needs to recognize that if he keeps yelling at his CHOSEN ONES we will rebel much as a son does against a father. Who am I kidding… I’m too drunk to keep up with the bad Sci-Fi references on this fucking site. Jesus, where is Jesse with pictures of gay dudes. Or someone with pictures of hot fat women?

    1. Fur Friday post will cover the gay dudes…well, mostly uncover.

    2. Left Hand of Radar

      As I mentioned before, Justin Verlander is pitching against the TWINS tonight at Target Field. That means that –potentially– Kate Upton is just a six-minute drunken bus ride away from me. What do you think? Should I go for it?

      1. Festus

        Never ventured, never gained.

      2. westernsloper

        Definitely. Wear a dark hoodie, sunglasses and leather gloves when you follow her around though. You don’t want to make her security nervous.

        1. Festus

          Jorts and a wife-beater always bring the girls to the yard.

        2. Left Hand of Radar

          A former band mate of mine used to refer to the gloves you mentioned as “Rape Gloves.” I don’t actually own a pair.

          1. Festus

            I just watched a Polack working on small engines and the first comment on his site was some young neer-do-well complaining about his rape gloves. Where do we get these gloves? Home Depot?

          2. Nephilium

            The leather gloves I have I referred to as assassin gloves. It led to some strange looks when a person wearing a trench coat and a scally cap was buying them.

        3. AlmightyJB

          How to evade security

          https://youtu.be/XbRjfsHzUNI

          1. AlmightyJB

            When I typed animal house into Google, my spellcheck changed it to anal goose. Wtf.

          2. Your browsing history must be quite….SugarFree-ish.

      3. Kate Upton?

        WOULD SMASH!

        1. Festus

          Her torso is off kilter.

          1. I WILL BLAST IT BACK INTO PLACE!

          2. AlmightyJB

            Yeah, that body is ridicules

  10. straffinrun

    27 comments? I was at the dentist, so don’t blame me ZARDOZ.

  11. Brochettaward

    The story isn’t going away – Hernandez is rumored to have killed to hide his secret bisexuality. The NFL’s headaches just grew exponentially. Two days tops before a number of articles are written on toxic homophobia in the NFL driving him to murder, and now the heartless Pats won’t pay any of that bonus money to his poor little girl.

    1. Festus

      Let’s just add a little “victim” to the sauce and the creme broulee will be Fantastic!

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      The Patriots are responsible for North Korea.

      1. Festus

        The Patriots are responsible for the early 70’s Habs, Duke and the New York Yankees.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Ohai gays can murder people, too. BFD.

      1. Festus

        Clever people can murder people.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Anyone can murder people. Clever people might get away with it.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Speaking of clever murderers, we just got done watching Mr. Brooks. Pretty fun movie.

          2. commodious spittoon

            Anyone else remember The Talented Mr. Ripley? Speaking of a clever murderer.

          3. AlmightyJB

            I have not seen it

          4. commodious spittoon

            Brain kinda sprungboard off “Mr.” I was young when it came out and I can’t remember enough of it to recommend it, but it’s probably worth looking into.

          5. I prefer Plein soleil, although none of the characters act remotely American.

          6. AlmightyJB

            Evidently this was done to pay homage to the movie. Whatever.

            https://youtu.be/rr7RBcyHJk8

      2. straffinrun

        First Jorts now Ohai. You fuckers speak English?

        1. AlmightyJB

          I do not speak jive either

          1. BakedPenguin

            Barbara Billingsley hardest hit.

        2. ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

      3. So was Omar Mateen gay or not?

        1. Behold!

          Well he certainly didn’t kill all those gays in the name of Islam. That would be Islamaphobic, and only Christians and Jews can be that.

          Though that now raises the question: did Omar Mateen kill them because he was a suppressed gay dude, or because he was secretly a homophobic Christian fundamentalist?

  12. commodious spittoon

    Sat down and had lunch with a friend and a work buddy of his. First time out with friends in feels like ages. She’s pretty, chipper, degreed somewhat ostentatiously and works with kids. Flirty. Single. Started talking about how progressive the eatery is. Oh.

    1. Brochettaward

      Obviously, the correct course of action is to fuck her and never speak to her again.

      1. But Enough About Me

        According to some of the guys I used to know at Uni, that was the default, if not only, course of action.

        1. BakedPenguin

          Uni? UNI? He’s a Canadian or a Brit! Response.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Nooo BP, just smile and back away Canadians only see movement, so if you move slowly enough they won’t even notice your retreat.

    2. Festus

      Like a Frightened turtle, then…

      1. commodious spittoon

        It’s just the excuse I’ll use for doing nothing to pursue it. This way I can pretend I had a choice in the matter.

        1. Atanarjuat

          You only live once.

        2. thrakkorzog

          I think Gilmore tried to argue the other day, that nobody ever says on their deathbed, “I regret sticking it in crazy.”

          1. Sometimes crazy will sure you don’t make it long enough to have a deathbed, or have time to think about your life…

          2. R C Dean

            Because it’s hard to say anything when crazy is pressing a pillow onto your face until you stop moving?

          3. Seguin

            Phil Hartman has been pretty silent about his experience with crazy.

          4. Gilmore

            i don’t recall saying this, but i do think its a funny idea.

          5. westernsloper

            I think it was Brochetta making that argument. While I have not reached my death bed yet, I am not so sure I won’t regret some past relationship decisions that involved the crazy.

          6. Gilmore

            i’ve stuck it in crazy at least once.

            (*she stopped taking her meds midway through a relationship – and had never told me she was on them in the first place, much less consulted me on the wisdom of ending them)

            I would not wish the experience on my worst enemy.

            that said, I think the joke *I* would have made would have been something like, =

            “No one ever says on their deathbed, “I wish i had fucked fewer women

            its not true (*see: anyone who’s ever contracted AIDS), but its funny

          7. Lachowsky

            It was Ken. He put up a wall of text that could be easily be summed up as, DO stick it in crazy.

          8. Gilmore

            It was Ken. He put up a wall of text that could be easily be summed up as, DO stick it in crazy.

            i remember that

    3. straffinrun

      People throw out terms like that thinking that all people think the same way, obviously. I’m meeting a guy for drinks tonight that thinks I’m a Christian conservative. He uses the word “Cuck” without irony and thinks “raghead” is a fine way to describe Arabs.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Jeez. Expat or military or what?

        1. straffinrun

          Canadian. Really. Loves Gavin.

      2. thrakkorzog

        If you really want to to see some some frothing at the mouth racism, ask a Persian what they think of Arabs. Raghead is practically a compliment.

    4. Gilmore

      how progressive the eatery is.

      I would be unable to prevent myself from saying things like, “MMM THIS IS THE WOKEST SALAD IVE EVER. I can literally *taste* the justice” And ask their waiter what the most intersectional items on the menu are. any Earth Day specials? and is the salt both kosher AND dolphin-free?

  13. Left Hand of Radar

    So Verlander has been pulled. The Twins are winning. I know for a fact that MLB umpires are put-up in The Hyatt Regency on Nicollet Avenue. If I crane my neck I can see it from my apartment building. Maybe that’s where visiting ball clubs are ensconced, too. I’m gonna hop on the 18 and finally determine if my head is indeed exactly the size of one of Kate Upton’s tits. Look for me in tomorrows B-Section of the Star Tribune!

    1. AlmightyJB

      And on Cops

      1. Left Hand of Radar

        It’s science, officer! SCIENCE!

        1. Just don’t let us find the criminal complaint against you on “The Smoking Gun”.

  14. np

    IS THIS WHAT BRUTALS CALL “INTERSECTIONALITY”?

    ‘No to terrorists’: Policeman shot dead by ISIS gunman on Champs-Elysees was a gay rights champion in final weeks of his job who made a defiant rallying call as the Bataclan reopened after 2015 Paris massacre

    I do seriously wonder if the LGTBBQ community realizes that fundamental or orthodox Islam is not their friend will part ways with their leftist and prog brethen over this. I also wonder if attitudes are different in the gay community is different in Europe. I don’t get the same sense of SJW there. Socialism-lite labor party type attitudes among the left, but not so much cultural progressivm among non-elites is my impression. Only ones who seem to be proggies are some BBC talking heads. But then again, I could be completely wrong.

    1. Festus

      John Oliver tweaking American noses should help.

      1. But Enough About Me

        I never really grokked the concept of a “punchable” face until I saw John Oliver’s mug. Oh yeah, now I get it.

        1. AlmightyJB

          He’s such a putz

          1. Festus

            It would be great if he showed just a twitch of level. He’s funny but he always pushes the snowball downhill.

          2. Left Hand of Radar

            To a connoisseur of comedy John Oliver is such a disappointment . I’ve been following him for over a decade. He really is capable of being funny. But like too many humorists he decided it is more important to be liked by the “right” sort of people than to do his fucking job: Which is to stick a pin in the balloons of the powerful– whatever their political affiliations.

          3. Festus

            His delivery is very good and then he shanks off to the left. Disappointing.

  15. westernsloper

    The Venezuela not being a socialist country thing came up a few times over the past few days. It really bugs me the defense pulled out by those who love themselves other peoples money. One of the steps taken by the non-socialist Chavez Government was to take over oil companies, and as someone mentioned earlier, I think the socialists need to be reminded of that.

    That’s where President Hugo Chavez has a self-styled socialist revolution and his populace government is taking control of four big oil projects.

    1. westernsloper

      They should also be reminded of what Maxine Waters said about oil companies here.

      1. AlmightyJB

        She couldn’t get elected in CA if she wasn’t retarded.

      2. straffinrun

        Fine. Venezuela isn’t socialist. Venezuela seizes assets and redistributes. Your version of “socialism” doesn’t do that? Great! I’m a socialist, too.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Succinct!

        2. westernsloper

          I might need to seize that comment and redistribute it.

    2. commodious spittoon

      I don’t care what you call your stupid commie economy. If you don’t respect property rights and you don’t enforce contracts, you’re gonna run it aground. All this True Scotsman shit is beside the point, socialism isn’t about application, it’s about what you’re willing to violate to apply it. And invariably that means violating contracts and violating property rights. So call your commie shitshow whatever you like.

      1. Festus

        They act like we did when we stopped being controlled by our parents. I lived in a very lax commune for awhile when I was 20. As soon as people start coupling that will be the end of your utopia. “Rent” is a construct, Man! Shitty too, because I was never happier. It’s been all downhill since then.

      2. westernsloper

        I stopped shortly after:

        Starting in 2014, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia flooded the market with cheap oil. This is not a mere business decision, but a calculated move coordinated with U.S. and Israeli foreign policy goals.

        The US conspired with the Saudis to flood the market? I might need a citation there. The Obama administration was pulling strings, so I might be able to be convinced of that because it killed a bunch of US companies and jobs in ND.

        If $100 oil will save Venezuela, I am all for it. I could go back to work.

        1. peachy rex

          There was an article in The Economist some months back which estimated how expensive oil would have to be (and stay) for various oil-dependent countries to break even. For Russia, IIRC, it was around $100. Iran was, oh, $120 or $125. For Venezuela it was “somewhat more expensive than it has *ever been.*”

          1. thrakkorzog

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_oil_production

            You remember how falling oil prices caused worldwide riots in oil producing countries like Russia, Canada, and the US? Yeah, me neither.
            Do you remember the stories of all those Norwegian folks losing their welfare benefits when the price of oil dropped? Because I don’t remember reading that story either.

            Hell, I’ve known quite a few people who have worked in the oil industry around the world, and most countries go to great pains to protect the goose that lays the golden eggs.

          2. thrakkorzog

            Anyways, seems like a good segway to one of my favorite jokes:

            A guy is working in the Alaskan oil fields. He walks up to the Bartender, “I’ve been working here six months and none of my coworkers respect me. I’ve worked oil fields all over the world, but they treat me like a newbie.”

            So the bartender tells him, “There are three things you have to do to earn their respect. You have to drink a gallon of whiskey, make love to an Eskimo woman, and kill a Polar bear with your bare hands.” He figured he could do that, but after a quick look around the bar there weren’t any Eskimo women he could seduce. So He drank a gallon of whiskey, then wandered off into the snow.

            After about three days, people started worrying about what ever happened to that drunk guy that wandered into the snow. And he walks into the bar, cut to bloody ribbons, sits down at the bar stool, and says, “OK, tell me about that Eskimo woman I’m supposed to kill.”

          3. Festus

            Heard the same joke for the Queen Charlottes except the guy is supposed to come back with a cure for herpes.

          4. thrakkorzog

            OK, that demands some elaboration Festus

    3. BakedPenguin

      Valenzuela redistributed strikes into the strike zone. It redistributed some balls into the walk zone, but apparently not enough to satisfy baseball privilege.

      1. Festus

        That weird “looking-up” thing, right?

        1. BakedPenguin

          Atmospheric privilege,

  16. Creosote Achilles

    I hate the Post Office. The single closest thing to a competent gov’t agency, and even they fuck up on the regular. Whatever sub-moron, mouth-breathing, illiterate monkey they have on our route has mis-delivered a half-dozen packages in as many months. And at least as many times has put letters in the wrong boxes and my neighbors have had to do their job. The Boats is too good a punishment for this drooling ‘tard.

    1. Festus

      Spitting into the garbage is my main concern. Spitting and using work toilets like you would if you ate some bad mammoth. Fucking pigs… Shit on the floor and throw your depends in the garbage. Who the hell tries to flush a tampon? One of these days I’m gonna go down there and break someone’s nose.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      My workplace’s postal carrier doesn’t bother getting out of his/her (not sure which since I’ve never seen them) LLV to even attempt delivery of packages. Just sticks a “no one there (lie), pick up package tomorrow at the post office”
      notice in the box and drives on.

      1. Festus

        I call one of the girls “Beggin-strips” because she always leaves a little extra for me.

    3. jesse.in.mb

      I’m 80% sure your mail is being delivered by a CCA (City Carrier Assistant) they’re essentially temp hires that the PO is trying to fuck up quickly enough that they never become tenure track. They go out with next to no training and take on the bits that anyone with seniority avoids.

      1. Festus

        Everyone that works there is at least Fifty. They sold out their union and now can’t keep employees. Shame.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          It’s a complicated mess. Back in ~2012 there was a program to get as many people off the rolls and onto disability retirement (or flat out quit) as possible and then they’ve hired on temp workers with the promise of 1950s labor situations as bait. Their labor situation has been terrible for a while but I’ve watched it get worse in real time.

          1. Festus

            I’m talking the Post Office, dude. I haven’t seen anyone there under Thirty in five years. No shit, it’s like grayling tinder except everyone is old and lazy.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Yeah. There’s the regular staff and then PSE/CCA staff which is basically long term staff. Most, but not all of them are in their 20s and are fools for thinking it’s a good job opportunity. They don’t always last long.

          3. Fatty Bolger

            Our aging regular carrier finally retired a couple of years ago. She was kinda lazy, but holy hell, she was an A-type workaholic compared to the morons who have replaced her.

          4. jesse.in.mb

            There are some lazy folks and a lot of incompetent folks running around, but the carriers are pretty amazing compared to a lot of the postal staff. A ton of the problems with mail delivery are automated now. The carriers used to sort their own mail back in the day and there were fewer problems than when an OCR system does it.

      2. Creosote Achilles

        That may explain it. Doesn’t excuse it though. Tomorrow I have to go door to door to see which of my Portland neighbors is confused about getting a package from Johnny T-Shirt in Chapel Hill North Carolina.

    4. one true athena

      I had to deal with EEOC complaints from the USPS and the VA back in 2004. Yeah, that’s why I know beyond a shadow of any doubt that giant government bureaucracies are toxic waste dumps and anybody who wants MORE of them is a moron.

  17. commodious spittoon

    Kim: What do you know about feminism, Wayne?

    Wayne: I know it’s unsafe territory to discuss with a feminist.

    Kim: Why?

    Wayne: Someone will start shouting.

    Kim: Why?

    Wayne: I don’t know.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Loving season two Letterkenny. The weirdness and the tropes from the first season were feeling a little threadbare halfway through the first episode, but the second season is really playing up the superb rapid-fire dialogue.

      1. CZmacure

        The “UK” version of “Loving” is quite funny. I couldn’t get into the US one.

        1. CZmacure

          I think I’m actually talking about “Coupling.”

          1. thrakkorzog

            Yeah, UK coupling was was kind a Friends rip off, but it still managed to be it’s own thing. The US version of Coupling was just sad.

      2. Festus

        Anywhere North of ‘Tarana”. Yup.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Tarana?

          I am geographically and culturally illiterate. These shows are literally everything I know about anything.

          1. John Titor

            Toronto in backwoods ‘Tario accent.

          2. commodious spittoon

            Thankee sai.

    2. Festus

      It just is!

    3. commodious spittoon

      Lisa: We issue a hug consent form to parents, which allows us to hug their kids. Because 99% of the time, all kids need—is a hug.

      Wayne: “A hug”?

      Lisa: A squeeze. An embrace.

      Wayne: Oh.

      Lisa: Oh?

      Wayne: Well.

      Lisa: What is it?

      Wayne: Nothin’.

      Lisa: Wayne.

      Wayne: Yeah?

      Lisa: Speak freely.

      Wayne: No, I’d better not.

      Lisa: That’s the only way we’ll get to know each other.

      Wayne: Do you ever smack ’em?

      Lisa: Excuse me?

      Wayne: Like, give ’em a good whack?

      Lisa: I don’t follow.

      Wayne: Do you ever hit the kid? Like, for being too silly.

      Lisa: No! Wayne. We never hit our kids. You shouldn’t hit kids.

      Wayne: Well, you know what, don’t you remember how scared you were of your principal when you were growing up? It’s ’cause he’d smack you if you were being too silly. Like your parents wanted you to have a principal who would smack you. They took comfort in the fact that they were sending you to a place every day where someone would smack you for them if you were being too silly. And sometimes I see kids these days, I kind of think, like—Like, wish you could still do that.

      Lisa: That sort of discipline is long outdated, Wayne, and frowned upon. We sit the child down—

      Wayne: That’s another problem.

  18. DOOMco

    What a night for sports.

    1. Tundra

      What did I miss?

      1. Grumbletarian

        Bruins survive elimination in double OT. I’m not a big hockey fan, but that was pretty exciting to watch.

  19. Tundra

    Someone links this every year, but what the hell.

    Happy Earth Day!

    Bonus Earth Day nonsense from an otherwise cool band!

    1. Festus

      I’ll burn a few tires in my yard and flash the neighbours! That’ll learn ’em!

  20. straffinrun

    A man goes to his doctor to get his balls examined. The doctors says, ” I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’ll have to give up masturbation.” The dejected man asks why. “Because I’m trying to examine you.”

    1. commodious spittoon

      A man in a bar orders a punch. The bartender says, Look, if you want punch you’ll have to get in line. The man looks around, but there is no punch line.

      1. straffinrun

        Now you’ve opened pandora’s paradox.

      2. jesse.in.mb

        You both deserve nothing but this

        1. straffinrun

          Would.

          1. Festus

            Wakes up groggy “Oh Baby!”

  21. Wait, is ZARDOZ on strike or not?

    1. Festus

      ZARDOZ GIVES GUNS! ZARDOZ SLEEPS IN THE VAN FROM TIME TO TIME .

    2. thrakkorzog

      I assume we’re not above hiring Pinkertons to settle strikes.

      1. Festus

        Depends which end of the billy-club that you identify with.

  22. Festus

    Watching new Fargo, Excellent! Mary Elizabeth is looking fine…

    1. CZmacure

      3:37am thread life? really?

      1. Festus

        Some of us live on the rest coast. I’ve seen that my dog is a Panzer and the cats are Renaualts.

        1. straffinrun

          The rest coast getting the good shit on this fine night.

          1. Festus

            Nah, that little shit has a hair across her ass. She’s wee, the cats just bat her around. She’s like a dem operative, working.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      The Jews Zionists here are the real problem, not the Palestinian freedom fighters! – The left, probably

    2. thrakkorzog

      It only took 45 minutes for the IDF to shut that down. They were all over that. And somewhere a reservist was caught wiping off mustard from the side of his mouth afterward.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Bacon cheeseburgers?

      Funny how all of those attacks are after the PLO and Israel signed their agreement. No way, they totally renounced terrorism.

      1. thrakkorzog

        I’m sure the Nobel Peace Prize folks will pick up Arafat’s prize, because it was all just a huge misunderstanding, right after they pick up Obama’s.

    4. westernsloper

      Trolling with BBQ. That is awesome. I wish there was a March for Science around me. I would go do some tail gating with the grill and some signs, “Save the Manatees, They Are Delicious!!!” “The best tacos are made from clubbed seals”