Wednesday Afternoon Links

It’s Wednesday afternoon and your favorite contributor (I AM your favorite, am I not?) is taking an unusual turn at the helm of the Afternoon Links. I promise this will have 93.76% less hunky content than my normal posting.

 

Alliterative assertions allay apostatic angst
Proper Papal palace
  • TED Talks 2017 is officially a techno-rite church service in communion with the Roman Papacy (I was hoping they’d join up with the Pope in Exile in Avignon, but apparently that’s not a thing anymore, so whatevs). CNN summarizes, “Essentially, he told the academics and innovators, scientists and techies, there is no ‘you,’ without an ‘us.’” full transcript with link to the ~20 minutes sermon talk here.
  • Jeff Goldblum is planning to reprise his role as Dr. Ian Malcolm. The internet responds with a vexing amount of genital moistness, which confuses this author, but I’m certainly not going to yuck someone else’s yum.
  • Side of English beef, Ben Cohen, may soon be single. His professional dancer lady love wants a Hollywood career, but he wants her to stay in jolly ol’ England. *tidies cave, polishes club* I’ll be right back.
  • Passenger found dead after United flight from Heathrow to O’Hare. Passenger was rabbit on track to be a world record holder for size, owner was a former model turned rabbit breeder. Fuck it just click through it’s all weird.
  • Serge Brin apparently wishes he was as interesting as Sir Richard Branson and is “reportedly building his own secret airship,” which “apparently looks like a classic zeppelin.” While it isn’t partying naked with my favorite ginger prince on a private island, we at Glibertarians welcome our Steampunk zeppliney future with open arms and freshly brushed top hats and polished monocles and brass doodads.

    Go 'way, touching myself inappropriately while dressed as a Victorian dandy
    Not pictured: Brin’s airship

Comments

342 responses to “Wednesday Afternoon Links”

  1. I’m certainly not going to yuck someone else’s yum

    Much appreciated!

      1. John Titor

        …90s kids have the weirdest fetishes.

        1. Goldblum was the subject of my first naughty dream. Jurassic Park-era Goldblum, even. Rowr.

          1. John Titor

            You make this too easy for me Riven.

            Real talk: I saw that movie when I was eleven and it scarred me for life.

          2. Mad Scientist

            This Goldblum was even younger.

          3. Hahahah! Mr. Riven and I watched the Fly just a few months ago for the first time for both of us. Man… those were some gross effects.

            Would still bang.

          4. Where’s Vincent Price when you need him?

          5. Bobarian LMD

            Live version of Rick Sanchez

            Complete with the blue belched up shit on his chin.

            Whubalubadubdub!

          6. Chipwooder

            Younger still was Jeff Goldblum the street hoodlum in Death Wish. Rather hilarious in retrospect.

          7. Pan Zagloba
          8. I would watch that, to be sure.

          9. Pan Zagloba

            It’s actually pretty good, especially behind-the-scenes comedy parts.

          10. dbleagle

            He also was in “Earth Girls Are Easy” with Geena Davis. (1988)

      2. LT_Fish

        In the books everyone knew when to die – good and hard. No hanging around for sequel after sequel.

  2. Juvenile Bluster

    Speaking of the Papacy, Jim Harbaugh gave the Pope a Michigan helmet, which is likely the greatest troll job ever pulled on Notre Dame.

    1. It’s good for Harbaugh to give him something he owns. I suppose Urban Meyer could give him five Wolverine hides (or five pairs of gold pants) if he visits before next season.

    2. And we don’t troll Notre Dame. We just beat the piss out of them to the point they won’t even schedule us anymore.

      Harbaugh is a sad, petty dickhead. And after he goes 0-3 after next season in The Game, he’ll be looking to head back to the NFL.

      1. The Last American Hero

        This has been my Harbaugh question all along. The guy has had success everywhere he’s gone. He’s also been shown the door with a big “don’t let it hit you on the way out asshole” on the way out.

        He was brought in to Beat MSU, Beat OSU, Win Big 10 Championships, Win BCS playoff games, Win National Titles.

        The “Question” is what happens after 4 years if he’s 2-2 vs. MSU, 0-4 vs. OSU, no Big 10 title games, let alone Championships, and no BCS games let alone championships? Do the alums still back their “Michigan Man” or do they start to see what an asshole this guy is? Because for all the pomp and circumstance, for all the massive salary, for all the lowering of recruiting standards to become an SEC North school, they didn’t do those things to go 9-2 every year, have at best a 500 record with their in-state rival, still not be able to beat their long-time nemesis, and not win trophies.

        1. After the number of kids they graduated (none of which have ever beaten Ohio State, by the way) and the number of starters the Buckeyes have back this year, it’s gonna be tough for TTUN to be in a position to fight for anything but an Outback Bowl berth by the time we roll into AA this November.
          And 2018 isn’t looking much prettier based on the class we brought in last year, this year and already have signed for next year.

          I don’t want to put down any bets because is a rivalry game, but I’d probably feel safe in saying I expect the Buckeyes to put Harbaugh in an 0-4 hole against them next November.

  3. Vhyrus

    *tidies cave, polishes club*

    Not even a euphemism…

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Or two euphemisms in a row??

      1. jesse.in.mb

        πŸ˜‰

    2. bacon-magic

      Side of English beef, Ben Cohen, may soon be single. His professional dancer lady love wants a Hollywood career, but he wants her to stay in jolly ol’ England. *tidies cave, polishes club* I’ll be right back.

      Pretty sure he just outed himself as Neegan.

      1. Vhyrus

        He has the facial hair…

        1. bacon-magic

          That’s a disguise.

  4. John Titor

    Ann Coulter backs out of Berkeley event, cites backers dropping out.

    That there sounds like cuck behavior, boy.

    ~~~magic edit fairy~~~

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Damn, I thought she was a man! Weak, weak, weak.

      1. John Titor

        Low energy. Sad!

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Ha! I was quoting Tony Blair, who I don’t think would be flattered by comparison.

          Also, that whole exchange is hilarious, bitching about joining Euro and shit!

    2. Just Say’n

      Is the lawsuit still on? From my understanding FIRE isn’t backing down

      1. Fatty Bolger

        The College Republicans said the lawsuit is still on.

    3. Rick C-137

      Disappointed but not surprised. Although I understand that it was her sponsoring orgs that backed out not her personally. in either case the fuckin mob will dance in the streets like they had just downed a giant.

      1. Fatty Bolger

        Yep. The group that invited her rescinded the invitation, so she really had no choice in the matter. She says she still may go to Berkeley, but there will be no speech. Not sure what she has planned, but it could be interesting.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      O’Leary dropped out too.

      Backs Bernier.

      SO MUCH FOR TRUMP NORTH!

      1. John Titor

        And he blames Quebec too, that’s just hilarious.

        O’Leary was missing Trump’s ‘stubborn/stupid like a fox’ persona, he’s way more risk averse, so it doesn’t surprise me he’d look at something like that and figure it was better to throw in the towel.

    5. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I don’t care for her but I can’t really blame her for not wanting to be pepper sprayed/beaten up/murdered.

      1. John Titor

        I give credit to Gavin McInnes, he doesn’t give a fuck and flat out won’t cancel an event. This guy got pepper sprayed and went in and gave a speech anyway.

        1. Just Say’n

          Yeah, I give Gavin credit. I’ve only listened to his podcast once, though, when Matt Welch was on there

        2. thepasswordispassword

          Apparently Gavin and some of his friends at The Rebel will still be going. Probably not high profile enough to cause a riot but there will still be kindling.

    6. It’s a dark day for the First Amendment. The dirty, fucking anti-fa jackboots got their ransom paid. And I’d expect them to ramp up intimidation tactics like this in order to stifle speech from others they don’t agree with. That will continue until a violent enough person from the opposite end of the spectrum schedules an event and brings some heavy artillery, resulting in massive bloodshed.

      A dark day. Nobody with a conscience will applaud this result. And any friends I have that do will be unfriended and never talked to again.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        But you forget an important point – she’s icky.

      2. Slammer

        Word is there’s something else planned. Maybe with Milo. Something unexpected.

        1. Something unexpected.

          Another Spanish Inquisition?

        2. Floridaman

          Trump?

  5. Vhyrus

    A rabbit died on his way to O’Hare. There’s a damn good joke in here somewhere.

    1. KibbledKristen

      Stolen from someone who stole it:

      Apparently, the plane took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Elmer Fudd is also being investigated as a “person of interest.” Yosemite Sam could not be reached for comment, though his spokesperson insisted his past statement of “I hate rabbits” has been taken out of context and was directed only at one individual bunny.

      1. bacon-magic

        Daffy Duck is being questioned also.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Wabbit season.

          1. Mad Scientist

            Duck season!

  6. Pan Zagloba

    I’ve been reading Claire Berlinksi on and off for a while (ever since her biography of Margaret Thatcher crossed my path), and her latest is an excellent primer on Turkey. Little new stuff since she wrote about this shit as it was happening, except for how many times phrase ‘vibrant democracy’ is repeated in the articles she quotes

    There is much truth in the criticism that the system was ossified, and it was also true that it was unfair to the visibly pious. It was even true that developments deep within Turkish society, well described by Ernst Gellner’s term β€œneo-fundamentalism,” explained the AKP movement’s rise and legitimacy. But this was the wrong focus. The same tunnel vision caused others to dwell hysterically on the impending prospect of sharia, which never arrived, even as they failed to notice the bog-standard authoritarianism that did. They had sweated exotic dictionary bullets to learn words like taqqiya, and they were going to use them, damn it. The concept they really neededβ€”kleptocracyβ€”eluded them.

    Beginning in 2008, the government promoted policies to stimulate the consumption of durables. This created the appearance of an energetic population with rising purchasing power. Credit card and consumer debt stood at three percent of GDP in 2003; ten years later it was 21 percent. In short, the AKP ran the economy on construction, credit, and surging capital inflows, mixed with a dash of crime. It worked well enough, but was nothing like a miracle. Now the capital is taking flight again. Years were wasted, with nothing really to show for it but a bubble of unsold housing and a balding, furious Sultan in a thousand-room palace, busily scheming to kill his enemies.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      And not only did I typo Ms Berlinski’s name, I forgot to link the article. Sad!

    2. John Titor

      Be real with us Pan, you’ve got the natural instincts…should we be ready for Round Two against The Turk? You’ve claimed Ataturk killed The Turk, but I’m not so sure.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Ataturk killed The Ottoman. Erdogan is trying to bring him back.

        All I can tell you is that in my Book O’ Racism, Turks at their most Islamic are still better than Arabs, so encourage him to emulate Selim I?

        It was Berlinski’s article that made me realize just what Erdogan is, and also how hilariously similar Turkish politics and culture are to Serbian. To the point that her description of attending an opposition party meeting in Instanbul made me cringe, because I heard literally same shit years ago.

        1. John Titor

          Turks at their most Islamic are basically seen as religious traitors by Arabs, so there is that, but I’m not sure how many sex slave harems and Kurdish mass graves I’m willing to tolerate as a whole.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Soldiers of Odin:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8LYhA3C0Rw

      Pan, is that you?

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Literally the Fourth Reich up in there, but with shitty uniforms! So triggered!

    4. Diane Reynolds

      Speaking of Vibrant Democracies, I’m getting some noise behind the static when I listen to the waves about Suu Kyi losing some “human rights activist” polish amongst the usual chattering classes. I don’t have much more than that, but it comes down to Muslims. I think.

      1. LT_Fish

        Rohingya. Somehow all the government massacres of Christian and animist tribes (closer to the Thai border) never made it through their skulls over the last 2 or 3 decades…but it’s a Muslim group that tugs the heartstrings (same thing in Southern Thailand – except those folks are straight up terrorists).

  7. This Machine

    The internet responds with a vexing amount of genital moistness, which confuses this author, but I’m certainly not going to yuck someone else’s yum.

    Life, uh, finds a way.

  8. Negroni Please

    According to wikipedia, Jeff Goldblum is married to a 34 year old contortionist. Way to go weird old guy!

    1. Florida Man

      I like his guest spots on Portlandia.

  9. SugarFree

    I have ordered a knife, a digital TV antenna and a reading stand for my phone. Some many little boxes coming. So many. Yay!

    1. Negroni Please

      why are you arming your phone with a knife?

      1. SugarFree

        Because some bitch owes my phone money.

      2. UnCivilServant

        Bayonet antenna

      3. Vhyrus

        the more serious question is how is he going to get the knife out of the packaging if he doesn’t already have one?

      4. JD

        No, obviously the digital TV antenna is for his phone

        /Oxford Comma

      5. Bobarian LMD

        It must be one of them new-fangled “Smart Phones” I keep hearing about. Reads and watches TV too!

    2. The Other Kevin

      Do you need a special app to use the antenna?

    3. bacon-magic

      You like the knives Sug?

      1. SugarFree

        I just wanted to take up cutting. I like to keep current with the youth trends from a decade ago.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          I told you not to watch Painful Secrets!

    4. EvilSheldon

      Half the fun of Amazon is all the little boxes. I have a few waiting for me at home.

      No knives this time, though.

    5. Diane Reynolds

      Reading stand for your phone? It’s called a business card holder. Target, $1.99.

  10. Vhyrus

    Welcome to Vhyrus’s afternoon music links. Today is April 26th, so to celebrate we will take the way back machine to California, circa April 26th, 1992. I know the official title is April 29, 1992, but that’s not what he sang so fuck him we’re doing it live.

    1. Just Say’n

      Great song. You have good taste, Vhyrus

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      This past weekend with my 8 year old daughter in the car I had the iPod on shuffle. “Wrong Way” came on. I don’t think I’ve ever hit the “skip” button so fast.

      I was obsessed with Sublime back in the day. One of my favorite less known songs from the time was a song by No Doubt and Sublime called “Total Hate”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsFfKBaPUzU

      1. Vhyrus

        would the 8 year old have even caught it? It’s kind of subtle what he’s referring to in the song. Now ‘date rape’ on the other hand…..

        1. jesse.in.mb

          “But I’m staring at her tits”

          I don’t know that his kid is ready for an ornithology lesson.

        2. Juvenile Bluster

          She’s big on asking what songs mean. I’m not in the mind to answer a question from an 8 year old about the meaning of “7 horny brothers and her drunk-ass dad”

    3. Well you managed to fuck me over for my song on Saturday, you goddamn motherfucker.
      And some days my song in the morning links is all I’ve got.
      ::gently sobs::

      1. Vhyrus

        Half of me feels bad, the other half is enjoying your salty ham tears. I am torn.

      2. DesigNate

        You could always do it anyways, since the title IS April 29.

        But we’ll all know you’re just copying Vhyrus and will mock you relentlessly for it.

        1. God dammit. I’ve been holding that for weeks.

          1. I’ll console myself by jumping in my pool.

  11. Just Say’n
    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I thought you were going to link to this tweet https://twitter.com/daveweigel/status/857320853696020480

      1. Just Say’n

        I guess everything Weigel posts on twitter is derp. You learn something everyday

      2. Rick C-137

        A watchmen reference, really? Damn that’s odd.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          if they were serious they’d draw her blue and nude

          /Contemplates for a moment; heaves into trash can

      3. Behold!

        Wait, is that tweet implying Clinton died? Why didn’t anyone tell me before!

        …or is it saying she’s Doctor Manhattan. An odd comparison, considering Doc just wanted to get away from people while Clinton ran a campaign to rule over them.

      4. Diane Reynolds

        Best response: Is she floating off to jail?

    2. I can’t even view it… He’s got me blocked. Must’ve been something I said?

      1. Just Say’n

        You don’t need an account to view it. I don’t have one. He basically mocks an article that says that the Left has a blind spot in defending socialism and the atrocities that it has committed

        1. Oh, I *have* a twitter account which I am logged into, and it says, “Sorry, you are not authorized to see this status.” So. Seriously. He blocked me at some point like some kind of delicate snowflake, and now I can’t see any of his tweets unless I log out and view them as some kind of plebe. πŸ˜‰

          1. Mad Scientist

            There’s an even easier way to not see what Weigel writes…

          2. Mad Scientist

            Good, good. Now do the same thing with Facebook and you’ll be well on your way to more free time.

          3. I already don’t have a facespace!

          4. Diane Reynolds

            There’s an even easier way to not see what Weigel writes…

            Ok, I nearly spat my drink out over my monitor. Well played, sir, well played.

        2. Jefe Hayek

          The replies are like 90% people smugly stating that Cuba, Venezuela, USSR, Maoist China, East Germany, etc. aren’t real socialism and anyone who doesn’t think Sweden and Denmark are real socialists are idiots. While never actually stating how they define socialism other than “not the bad stuff!”

          1. Gilmore

            Idiots seem to want to pretend that Marxism “isnt’ socialist” and that socialism “isn’t Marxism” at convenience.

    3. This Machine

      Ah, yes, Denmark. Because when I think of countries whose government seized the means of production, it’s definitely a tiny European nation and not, y’know, a South American country with the world’s largest proven oil reserves that somehow has just been headed downhill lately. Probably the kulak’s fault.

      1. Juice

        I don’t know if they “seized” them per se, but they definitely own/operate some major stuff, like the railways, the electrical grid, and TV/Radio stations.

        1. Grumbletarian

          A General Motors plant…

          1. OneOut

            billions of assets of SaudiAramco

        2. Diane Reynolds

          So… America.

    4. Hey, if you’re gonna talk Weigel twitter, you’re gonna have to screencap it or copy/paste it.

      He’s got some of us here blocked. The coward.

      1. DesigNate

        If he didn’t block people like you and Riven he might be introduced to logic and reason instead of the almost unanimous fart sniffing most of the people that he gets otherwise.

    5. Chipwooder

      Never forget – Reason once employed that fucking guy.

  12. Juvenile Bluster

    Ajit Pai has announced plans to reverse the Obama-era FCC’s Net Neutrality rules. Obviously, according to people on my FB feed, this is doom and gloom and the internet is now ruined.

  13. JD

    Ars Technica: Ajit Pai announces plan to eliminate Title II net neutrality rules

    This is good news. Net neutrality is one of those subjects that most people don’t understand. My friends and colleagues who are for it can’t seem to understand how a libertarian like me can be against net neutrality.

    1. Vhyrus

      Maybe I am confused. Why should I be against net neutrality? Isn’t that simply the idea that your ISP cannot prioritize certain data above others? Because if it can, then your ISP can literally turn off the sites it doesn’t want you to see. That doesn’t sound very free or open to me.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Then get a different ISP. Net Neutrality is about the government getting its hooks into the internet to control content, under the guise of “not controlling it, really, we swear.”

        1. Vhyrus

          If the US had a reasonable choice of ISPs that would be a legitimate argument.

          That is a big nonexistent ‘IF’.

          1. Negroni Please

            And that definitely sucks. But allowing a utilitarian justification for government control of the internet is not just a slippery slope, it is pretty much libertarians shooting themselves in the dick. Hold the line brother.

          2. Vhyrus

            I am going to argue that allowing your ISP to control your content is a much much bigger dick shot then the gov forcing everyone to play fair. You are advocating letting your ISP determine what sites you can view. If your ISP decides it doesn’t like Libertarians anymore, POOF there goes your access to this site. As I said, if there were a wide range of competitive ISPs available all over the US, this would not be a big deal, but most people even in large cities have 2 choices, and many have only 1.

          3. Caput Lupinum

            And the reason they have limited choice is government interference in the market. The solution to government interference causing problems is to remove the government interference, not add more government interference.

          4. Vhyrus

            No argument there, but unless the government interference goes away (which it wont) letting the ISPs compound an already bad problem is a very dangerous gambit.

          5. Negroni Please

            Are you sure you want justify socialist policies based on the idea that corporations are evil and want to screw their customers over? It’s a tough sell to most libertarians that the government should be allowed to dictate the contractual terms between a buyer and a seller. If the ISP’s go all evil on us, then feel free to start a new one and you’ll get my business.

          6. Caput Lupinum

            Perhaps a bit of a gambit, but advocating additional unremoveable regulations that will have incredibly harmful effects to prevent a problem that hasn’t occurred and likely never will, is down right emotion fueled stupidity.

          7. Vhyrus

            I don’t consider a law prohibiting corporations from censoring your media as socialism. It does largely depend on how it is written. As I said the best solution would be a completely hands off approach, but if the gov is already screwing us we can at least ask for lube.

            As far as “start your own ISP” I really hope you’re being glib about that. If not how bout you get on that, and make the next facebook while you’re at it, preferably a less liberal one.

          8. Mad Scientist

            An ISP is just an elaborate gateway. You act as though creating one means re-creating the whole internet. It’s just a place for you to connect to that provides connections to other places.

          9. Vhyrus

            If that actually is the case then how is comcast still in business? They are literally the most hated corporate entity on planet earth. I am pretty sure people would pay MORE just to use a different service. I think you are being a little too simplistic on this one.

          10. BakedPenguin

            You sure? I got 9 (8 different companies & Century Link fiber & cable )

          11. Mad Scientist

            Comcast has a government-enforced monopoly on a specific kind of broadband. You can go satellite, fiber, DSL…

            Comcast sucks BECAUSE they have that government-enforced monopoly. Giving government more control isn’t going to make things better.

          12. Vhyrus

            So lets fight against the monopoly. But focusing on net neutrality is the wrong battle.

          13. Microaggressor

            Even without much competition, it’s very bad business for an ISP to censor content. People who think this will happen don’t understand market incentives. Or networking.

          14. Diane Reynolds

            If your ISP started actually blocking sites– there’d be such a consumer outcry, it’d never stand.

          15. Negroni Please

            It’s a basic tenet of market capitalism that corporations that under serve their clients will eventually be overtaken and crushed by companies that offer better value. In your hypothetical world where the ISPs decide to censor the web (which hasn’t happened despite there being no laws to prevent it), then some other ISP will relish the opportunity to steal their customers. The internet is driven by freaks, porn, and commerce. I don’t think anyone (other than retards in government) is in a hurry to kill the cash cow by censoring content.

            And yes starting an ISP to rival Time-Warner is tough, but micro ISPs exist all over the place and while they aren’t exactly easy to get started it’s far from impossible when you have a few people of means willing to pitch in. Which you certainly would in your dystopian future

          16. thepasswordispassword

            In the mid 2000’s there were several cases of rewritten or dropped packets for bittorrent and VOIP and the evidence pointed at ISPs doing the tampering. Any time a story picked up the behaviour usually stopped but at least a few of those were documented by IT experts before going to press. Or more recent cases where ISPs were inserting their own ads into web pages. The bigger problems are government granted and enforced monopolies on internet. Where a city literally will not grant right-of-way to run line or a state shuts down a city approval for an alternate ISP.

      2. Negroni Please

        cuz property rights man. ISP’s can do what they want and if you don’t like it you can use another one.

        1. Juice

          Oh, there isn’t one? That’s too bad.

      3. JD

        The ISPs must treat all Internet traffic the same. So they can’t charge more for uses which have higher bandwidth.

        Plus what Mad Scientist said below.

        1. JD

          Or above. Whatever!

        2. Vhyrus

          I am pretty sure your understanding of net neutrality is incorrect. It has nothing to do with the amount of bandwidth you use, but that all data is considered equal. If net neutrality is not a thing, you ISP can pick and choose which websites you have access to.

          1. Mad Scientist

            JD isn’t talking about your ISP charging YOU more. He’s talking about YouTube or Netflix, for example, paying a premium to your ISP so that their content gets priority, and you get a stutter-free stream.

          2. Caput Lupinum

            Well, taken to its extreme, net neutrality also prevents tiered services for the consumer as well. Everyone gets the same bandwidth and data caps, because to do otherwise rewrite prioritization of data. But for the same price, so we can all have the same shitty internet, because socialism of data will work the same as socialism for everything else in the end.

          3. Free Minitel for all!

          4. Vhyrus

            That is a wonderful possibility, but the downside is literal censorship of your internet by private entities. I will gladly keep my internet access censorship free in exchange for a slightly choppy episode of game of thrones.

          5. Mad Scientist

            Who is censoring your internet now?

          6. Vhyrus

            Here is a list of ISPs known or suspected of throttling bandwidth to certain services such as p2p file sharing or media streaming. Go ahead and scroll down to America and see if there isn’t a major service listed.

            https://wiki.vuze.com/w/Bad_ISPs

            We already have known instances of services like google and facebook shaping content specifically around a political agenda. We know it’s already happening. Why do you think it won’t get worse?

          7. Mad Scientist

            Facebook is not an ISP. Outside of an experimental fiber area, Google is not an ISP either.

            Some ISP’s limit P2P and media streaming because you’re running a server on their network at that point, which means you’re using more bandwidth than you’re paying for.

            You’re trying to solve a non-existent problem with government regulation. Good luck with that.

          8. Homple

            “Who is censoring your internet now?” Mad Scientist on April 26, 2017 at 3:41 pm

            Nobody, but what prevents them from doing so in the future? Suppose ISPs join Google and Facebook in censoring “fake news”, as an example.

            Get another ISP then.

            Suppose there isn’t one where I live.

            Move or start your own ISP

            Good ideas.

          9. Mad Scientist

            So you need government regulation to help you with the problem you’re not having, Homple?

          10. Homple

            “So you need government regulation to help you with the problem you’re not having, Homple?” Mad Scientist on April 26, 2017 at 4:24 pm

            Nope. Just pointing out a possible future situation. I said absolutely nothing about government, now, did I?

          11. Michael

            The biggest issue I have with Net Neutrality in its current incarnation is that when implemented it completely flies in the face of the OSI model. I completely agree that leaving ISPs to choose who gets access to what and how is terrible, but Net Neutrality is hardly the ideal solution to the problem.

          12. Diane Reynolds

            That’s not what net neutrality did. Net Neutrality banned ISPs from prioritizing traffic. As typical with non-technical yabbos passing laws over things they understand not, that has huge implications for innovation. HUGE. It was a law that literally attempted to cement the Internet into the “way it works now” for ever more. Vhyrus, seriously, Net Neutrality is awful. Awful.

            If an internet provider wants to create a service that sells itself as a high quality video provider by prioritizing video streams, it would be illegal.

            That’s just one awful aspect to NN rules.

          13. Vhyrus

            I am pretty sure we can find a way to keep the good aspects of NN while minimizing or eliminating the bad aspects, but straight out blocking NN without addressing the ISP monopoly in this country is a very bad idea.

          14. AlexinCT

            Not when politicians with an agenda to have government control the internet so they can control the sheep have anything to say about it…

          15. kbolino

            All of the following “bad things” are inherent to the concept of NN and inextricable from the “good things” that it is allegedly supposed to provide:

            1. Reducing the range of consumer choice (no prioritization means no priority plans)
            2. Removing a whole host of solutions to network engineering problems (no prioritization means no QoS, no dedicated links, no selective routing, basically no software solutions at all)
            3. Putting the Federal government in charge of every ISP’s network policies (every regulation requires monitoring and enforcement)

            Point (3) is technically not inherent to the concept of NN but since I haven’t seen a single NN proponent suggest another way, and those other ways would likely just involve other governments or government agencies, I think it’s fair to include it.

            If it concerns you so greatly that you might have degraded service from your ISP, why don’t you push to have ISPs offer plans guaranteeing such “net neutral” access in addition to whatever other plans they might offer? Then let the market show whether it actually matters to consumers that Bittorrent and Netflix be treated equivalently.

      4. Caput Lupinum

        It Assisi means that your ISP can’t prioritize streaming services over email. Or that your ISP can’t make deals with other companies giving preferential services, such as wireless carriers making it so that streaming audio services didn’t count againstyour data cap. It means that ISP’s cannot prioritize data such as the data needed to perform remote surgery over anything else.

        Without net neutrality we end up with a possible problem, that could also be solved by the free market. With net neutrality we solve one problem and get several others.

        1. Caput Lupinum

          Also, Assisi, fuck my phone.

      5. commodious spittoon

        It’s not a perfect analogy, but take a look at the airlines industry: heavily regulated, anticompetitive, distorted by market controls and forever verging on collapse. Like the telecoms, government plays a huge role in maintaining infrastructure vis-a-vis publicly run and staffed airports. And, despite all this, when an airline gets into a minor kerfuffle like United did, they take an epic beating in the market. So despite all the controls and insulation from market forces, they’re still susceptible to consumer demand.

        So the question, to my mind, is who has the bigger incentive to control content, and who stands to lose more by getting a black eye if they’re caught censoring content or throttling bandwidth? ISPs, for all their flaws, or government? You have little recourse if the feds decide to shut down access to content it considers harmful to the public good. But more likely than censorship is the quotidian regulatory malaise we see everywhere else government sinks its claws: tens of thousands of rules and regulations ISPs are suddenly forced to follow as Title II carriers, and being subjected to massive fines when they break any one of them. The FCC overseeing how new services and technologies are instituted and priced. Big-ticket ISPs inevitably pricing out upstart competitors due to regulatory and legal hurdles. Because that’s what bureaucracy is, it’s a machine for slowing down innovation and ripping billions of dollars out of industries to feather its own nest.

      6. Gadfly

        The internet has worked pretty well so far with minimal regulation. Probably not a good idea to go messing things up in a vain attempt to stick it to Comcast. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.

      7. kbolino

        If your monopolistic ISP is doing something you don’t like, then you should take it up with whoever granted them that monopoly, which is not the FCC. Net neutrality is about the FCC determining how ISPs get to run their own networks, and if you think that won’t result in censorship, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

      8. So other people downthread have dealt with this very well, but I would just add that there’s a similarity here to the Internet Privacy Act. In that case, it was the prevention of the enactment of regulations on ISPs to prevent something that was already legal for websites…and ISPs.

        In the case of Net Neutrality, ISPs have had the capability to censor, and have not. Why would they? What does Verizon care if I look at porn, or Wolfram Alpha, or Glibertarians? I’m paying a monthly fee, they’re getting the money regardless of my activity. As said below, the issue here is that while I am a user and pay for the bandwidth I use, the sites or services I use don’t pay anything on their end no matter how much bandwidth is used. The ISP can’t prioritize relatively high-bandwidth media streaming or gaming over, say, lots of tabs with sites updating text. The result is that you need to purchase more bandwidth, and when that doesn’t do it, you complain, which pressures the ISP to spend more on infrastructure. Guess who winds up paying for that in the end.

        The counterexample is the USPS and FedEx/UPS. The “last mile” service is used to save time and money by shipping companies, but by law the USPS can’t charge them. This puts a burden on the rest of the mail service and its end users. But, hey, at least all mail is considered “equal”.

        1. Vhyrus

          “Why would they? What does Verizon care if I look at porn, or Wolfram Alpha, or Glibertarians?”

          Why would Google or Facebook care if I am conservative or liberal? They shouldn’t, but there is documented evidence of both of these very large and very influential companies modifying their algorithms to push a political agenda. Why they would do it I am not totally sure, but the fact is they have done it. To say it won’t be done because they have no incentive is a very weak argument because there is already evidence of similar antics from similar organizations. The current iteration of net neutrality may be poorly written, but the idea that an ISP should not be able to unilaterally deny or limit data arbitrarily is absolutely something we as a political fringe should pursue very strongly.

          1. Homple

            I can see the government being very happy that private near-monopsonies hinder or quash wrongthinkers. Note Faceberg cozying up to Frau Merkel about shutting up anti-migrant speech as an example.

          2. Ok, but who would be more inclined to exert some sort of influence to pursue a political agenda: a private corporation with at least some, however limited, competition? Or an unelected bureaucracy headed by political appointees? Remember, the FCC would be the one making these determinations. When Facebook pushes an agenda, or when Google pushes an agenda, it becomes a public scandal, and people react by seeking alternatives, of which there are ample. If the FCC decides a particular provider is favoring content–say, by “zero rating” it–it does so arbitrarily, on a case-by-case basis, and with no recourse for the consumer. It’s not like you can choose to replace the FCC.

            So, you get rent-seeking and the expansion of unelected federal authority over the most important communications tool of our time. In a way, Net Neutrality is the Affordable Care Act of the Internet. It does nothing to solve the real problem, which is local market monopolies created by government policies which encourage rent-seeking and, frankly, graft, and introduces new problems by adding a layer of regulation that raises compliance costs and giving an unaccountable federal bureaucracy more control.

          3. Vhyrus

            Here’s the rub though: For all we bitch about the government, there actually are rules that prevent them from political discrimination. There are no such rules against private entities. So if Comcast or whoever decides one day “You know what? Fuck those backwater hicks that lost us the election!” and completely cuts off Fox news, Breitbart, etc. There is absolutely no legal recourse. They can (and will) tell you to piss right up a fucking rope. If the gov does it, not only will they do it very poorly (because they’re the government) but they will actually be breaking the rules and we can legitimately take them to court over it.

            As I said, none of this would be a problem if we had an open market with viable competition, but because of the gov we don’t. It’s a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation, but coming down on the wrong side of this could legitimately fuck us up for a very long time.

          4. kbolino

            Here’s the rub though: For all we bitch about the government, there actually are rules that prevent them from political discrimination.

            And yet Lois Lerner, Susan Rice, and everybody who collaborated with them to abuse government power for political ends walk free…

            There is absolutely no legal recourse.

            Bullshit. As long as they enjoy a government-granted monopoly, the people who live under that monopoly have legal recourse. You may not like it, it may not feel all warm and fuzzy like having the FCC be put in charge of every ISP network in the country, but it is there.

            Your forms of legal recourse include:

            1. Popular appeal
            2. Petition
            3. Civil suit
            4. Local elections

            if we had an open market with viable competition, but because of the gov we don’t

            There is a solution for that. There is no connection between “net neutrality” and local monopolies. The latter is a local (often state as well) problem that is addressed by opening up competition. The former is a Federal takeover of a private industry that doesn’t solve the local monopoly problem at all.

        2. thepasswordispassword

          Why would Comcast (NBC, Universal Pictures, Time Warner Cable, Charter Communications) care that you get your TV, Movies and Phone from some internet service like Amazon, Netflix and Vonage? They wouldn’t have any incentive to deprioritize/degrade traffic from those services. AT&T (HBO, Time Warner, CNN) is in a similar position while CenturyLink and Verizon are less multifaceted but also have less market share. The Comcast/Netflix spat over peering in 2013/2014 is something that could easily happen again.

          1. kbolino

            The reasoning goes…

            Comcast or one of its corporate partners/subsidiaries sets up its own revenue-generating media outlets (in the present day, that means “video streaming service” but who knows what it could mean in the future).

            Consumers would, left to their own devices, often choose competing outlets (e.g. Netflix, Hulu, Vudu, etc.) which don’t generate any additional revenue for Comcast.

            Comcast would then subtly degrade the quality of experience from the competition, using their power as owner of the network, then when consumers complain, offer some made-up explanation for why it isn’t good (probably blaming the other side), before suggesting their own solution as a better alternative.

            The inferior experience on competing services would offer a strong incentive for Comcast’s ISP customers to use Comcast/affiliates’s media services instead. Comcast can thus drive out the competition not necessarily by offering a better service but instead by using its monopoly power to reduce consumer choice.

            … whereupon you or someone knowledgeable about these matters collects evidence and uses it to make the case to consumers and local governments that Comcast is engaging in anti-competitive behavior which jeopardizes their right to have a monopoly. Maybe you just get them to stop, or maybe you push your local government to allow other providers into the area.

            No “net neutrality” required or desired.

          2. kbolino

            Of course, another solution (or part of a solution) would be to do away with all this archaic* bullshit about “peering” and just let both sides buy and sell transit across networks. But that would probably make NN proponents’ heads explode (TIERED INTERNET!).

            * = I say archaic because it’s based upon a concept of the Internet that doesn’t match what people in the present day actually use the Internet for, and is built around the 1970s idea of a bunch of academic institutions connecting their networks together at a time when those networks had very limited uses.

  14. Florida Man

    As he wrote in his 2016 encyclical, Laudato Si, all those tweets and selfies can add up to a big pile of “mental pollution” that distracts us from what is really important.

    A communist talking about mental pollution. Lol.

    1. Β‘Laudato No!

  15. Pan Zagloba

    TED Talks 2017 is officially a techno-rite church service in communion with the Roman Papacy (I was hoping they’d join up with the Pope in Exile in Avignon, but apparently that’s not a thing anymore, so whatevs).

    I say we need to be patient, Pope may reveal the wisdom of Omnissiah soon!

    1. John Titor

      We all know the human aspect of the Omnissiah is some glowing guy from Anatolia who wears golden armour and halo and can basically make miracles.

      But he wants it made perfectly clear that he’s not a god.

    2. Drake

      Did this show up in links yet? Apparently some saints were less saintly than others because they didn’t show Muslim invaders proper multi-cultural respect.

      Florida Diocese Punishes Teacher Who Quoted Saint’s Critique of Islam

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Bosco?

      1. LT_Fish

        I dunno, up until the last book of the Incal, the techno technos and aristos were playing off each other pretty well. At least on Terra 2017.

  16. Jefe Hayek

    I would certainly be entertained by non-violent religious schism of decent magnitude.

    I’m looking at you, Benedictines

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Mmmm now I want a Singapore Sling

      1. Jefe Hayek

        Would you cool it with the damn euphemisms??

        *reads link*

        O yeah, that thing

      2. Florida Man

        I prefer chartreuse in my religious search for elixir of life, but really just booze drinks.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      Setting up Benedict in Avignon would be the greatest thing Catholic Church did since plaid skirts.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Oh, sure. Let’s see…[pulls out wallet, starts going through it] I’m an elk, a Mason, a communist. I’m the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason…ah, here it is. White privilege.

      1. Worker and Parasite

        Good for 2-for-1 biscuits and gravy at Cracker Barrel!

      2. Rick C-137

        I’m a stonecutter!

    2. Rick C-137

      Seriously though, the analogy of touching a stove is just ridiculous. When you touch a stove you pull your hand away, not because of the discomfort but the damage you are doing to yourself

      1. Worker and Parasite

        Unintentionally accurate, then.

      2. WTF?

        “β€œIt’s like putting your hand on a glass-top stove,” he said.

        With the first swell of heat, you want to snatch your hand away. But this experience means to arouse self-examining pain, Hunter said….

        “β€œThis is such an important moment,” Hunter said, quoting McCann, β€œit’s too critical to take your hand away from the stove.”

        “In order to examine white privilege, he said, β€œyou have to legitimize discomfort as an appropriate way to feel.””

        Numero uno, that’s retarded. You teach two-year-olds not to touch hot stoves, but SJWs are apprently dumber than two-year-olds.

        Numero two-o, these guys have no intention of getting out of *their* comfort zones, they want to make *other* people uncomfortable.

        1. Seriously, we’re expected to believe that calling other people racists makes SJWs experience discomfort?

          Maybe if by “discomfort” you mean “a raging boner.”

    3. Juice

      Cost: $50

      HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

      What a bunch of suckers that buy these tickets.

    4. Gilmore

      β€œKansas City has issues,” Hunter said. β€œWe have work to do.”

      Whenever SJW’s refer to how “society” has so much “Work to do”…?

      I always interpret that as, “WE WILL NEED MUCH MONEY IN FORM OF GRANTS AND BULLSHIT DIVERSITY ADMINISTRATIVE JOBS IN ORDER TO MAKE US STOP ANNOYING YOU”

      1. Gilmore

        e.g. animal rights advocates ? =

        https://www.friendsofanimals.org/magazine/summer-2016/carol-adams-animal-advocates-%E2%80%98we-have-lot-work-do%E2%80%99

        She quotes Derrida for some reason

        Derrida, the philosopher, says we’re never going to be β€œeating well”; that it’s not something you achieve. I would want us to know as vegans and animal advocates that we have a lot of work to do.

        1. Gilmore

          Clinton, on facing her own defeat in the election

          http://www.telesurtv.net/english/news/Clinton-Breaks-Her-Silence-Theres-A-Lot-of-Work-to-Do-20161117-0002.html

          “A lot of work to do”

  17. Behold!

    Everyday derp.

      1. Just Say’n

        That whole website is derp

  18. Pan Zagloba

    Oh great, let’s double down on retard, BC. By all means, let’s close the border with US while we’re at it, it certainly won’t kill the country in three weeks.

    In the wake of the U.S. imposing new penalties on Canadian softwood lumber imports, B.C. Premier Christy Clark is asking Ottawa to ban the shipment of all thermal coal β€” including U.S. thermal coal β€” through British Columbia.

    “We’ve gone from seeing Americans as being good trading partners to being hostile trading partners,” said Clark when asked why she was making this move now.

    You want me to vote Commie? Cause this is how you’ll get me voting Commie!

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      This is what happens when you believe Canada is truly independent and not a branch plant economy and satellite of the United States.

      You start to do loco things.

      1. The Last American Hero

        I always thought Obama’s 57 states included adding in the Canadian provinces and Mexico.

        1. John Titor

          His numbers would still be off, there’s ten provinces and three territories.

          1. AlexinCT

            He was a community organizer man, not an accountant….

    2. A Smelly Encounter Suit

      Apparently buying votes by offering some free shit doesn’t have the same effect when you’re rival in the election is promising free everything, so you have to play the “EVUL ‘MURICAN” card to appease the un-washed rubes.

  19. commodious spittoon

    Jesus Christ, Lana, do you want to blow us all to shit?!

    1. Pan Zagloba

      For the last time, it’s HELIUM!

      1. Florida Man

        What part are you not getting?

        The core concept obviously!

  20. I feel like no one has linked this yet. Then again, I don’t always get to play in the links.

    Kingsman 2. Oh yes. I will be watching that.

    1. Rick C-137

      I’m pretty excited, the camp looks like it got dialed up a little, which is fine by me. The first one was nice unclean fun.

      1. Agreed! I’m hoping they don’t mess with the “feel” of the first one because it was just so much fun, as you said.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          The ending montage with Land of Hope and Glory came out of nowhere and made me howl with glee.

          1. Rick C-137

            Yeah that was great

    2. Pan Zagloba

      As long as the villain is another species of leftist, I’m down! We need one movie a year that lets us exercise Glorious Right-Wing Male Privilege!

      1. Rick C-137

        It was surprising that the movie was a essentially a green radical who could barely pass as a ‘well intentioned extremist’ and the global elite get wiped out while life basically goes on.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Took the piss out of greenies, jumped-up tech utopians, political elites, academia…

          1. antisthenes

            Bigoted churches? It seemed more of an all-pupose piss taker than a right wing movie.

          2. Pan Zagloba

            Note that while Church-goers are racist, generally bigoted, uncouth and armed, they don’t do anything until Mr Zuckerberg-Jobs flips the “murder” switch, at which point they are not responsible for what happens.

        2. Juvenile Bluster

          My progressive friends who liked the movie don’t like it when I (only half jokingly) predict that Leonardo DiCaprio is going to turn into the villain from the first Kingsman within the next 5 years.

  21. Hyperion

    Does anyone understand all of the details of the Trump proposed tax cuts? From what I could garner of it, it looks like businesses would be the big winners with business taxes reduced from 35% to 15%. So far, so good. But it looks like the middle class are getting nothing. The rate would be 25% on most middle class earners, which is exactly what it is right now. Am I missing something here?

    1. Haybob

      I won’t be happy with any tax proposal other than a flat tax.

      1. Hyperion

        I too want a flat consumption tax with income tax and property taxes eliminated. And yes I know property taxes are local. Just nuke them from space already.

      2. Juice

        0% flat tax

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      It depends on where the breakdown of the 10%/25%/35% proposed brackets falls. Haven’t seen any details on that.

      1. Hyperion

        If what I found is accurate, it’s like this for a married couple:

        $75,000 – 225,000 – 25%

        >75,000 – 10%

        > 225,000 – 33%

        So basically, what it looks like to me is that most middle class earners are going to pay about the same as before. But if you’re making a lot more than 225k, you could save a hell of a lot since the top bracket before was 40% and now it’s capped at 33%.

        The way that Trump is always going on about the middle class I would think he’d try to do something for them here, but it doesn’t look like it. But again, I may be missing details. And of course, cutting the corporate rate is likely doing a lot for the middle class in that maybe they’re small business owners or that in maybe there will be more of them now because of more and better jobs.

        1. Hyperion

          “>75,000 – 10%”

          Correction:

          <75,000 – 10%

        2. Juvenile Bluster

          By comparison, these are the current rates for middle class taxpayers.

          0-$18,550: 10%
          $18,550-$75,300: 15%
          $75,301-$91,150: 25%
          $91,151-$191,150-28%

          Lets take someone whose post-deduction income is $100k. Under the old plan they’d pay approximately $16,583 (10% on the first $18,550, 15% on the next part of their income, 25% on the part after that, and 28% on the rest. Under Trump’s plan (if that’s the breakdown) they’d pay $13,750 (10% on the first $75k and 25% on the rest). That’s a pretty big difference.

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            edit: those were the 2016 rates, not 2017. 2017 divisions changed a little and the actual tax burden would be a couple hundred dollars less. Still a difference.

          2. Hyperion

            I see. Well, that sounds somewhat better for sure.

          3. Gadfly

            Keep in mind that median income in the US is ~52K, so lowering the under 75K bracket is providing middle class tax relief.

          4. Gadfly

            Meant to say *lowering the rate for the under 75K bracket*

          5. Hyperion

            Yeah, I can’t even believe I’m in the top 20% of incomes in the USA. I sure as hell don’t feel rich. In the area I live in, I wouldn’t consider anything other than 75K to even be in the bottom of the middle class. Maybe for a single person, but not for a couple and especially not for a couple with children.

      2. Mike Schmidt

        The rate doesn’t change, but a doubling of the standard deduction is in there.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          A couple other nice things:

          The plan would also eliminate the estate tax that Republicans often deride as the ‘death tax’ and the 3.8 percent tax on investment income under ObamaCare.

        2. Hyperion

          There’s a double standard deduction? I didn’t see that either. I haven’t itemized in quite a while since my standard married deduction has been higher.

          1. Mike Schmidt

            Yep.

            The current standard deduction would rise from $6,300 to $12,600 for individuals under the proposal. For married couples filing jointly, it would rise from $12,600 to roughly $24,000.

          2. Hyperion

            Sweet!

  22. Drake

    While I would prefer a flat-tax, Trump’s tax proposals aren’t terrible.

    I’m guessing Paul Ryan will fuck it all up, propose a VAT, then lose a vote because his own party hates him (rightly so).

    1. Hyperion

      Isn’t horrible, but I feel disappointed in that it looks like my income bracket pays the same as now.

    2. Gadfly

      They’re considering a tariff, not a VAT, because no one has the guts to cut spending to balance out the deficit that reduced receipts from a tax cut will produce.

  23. Pan Zagloba

    When you walk into a manhole with eyes open, is that a comedy or a morality play?

    French presidential hopeful Emmanuel Macron has been heckled by factory workers in Amiens after a visit by his far-right rival, Marine Le Pen.
    Ms Le Pen upstaged her centrist rival earlier by turning up to speak to the workers as he met their union representatives a few miles away.

    This was a neat publicity coup for Marine Le Pen. As Emmanuel Macron was holding talks at the local chamber of commerce, the National Front leader made an unannounced visit to the picket line at the Whirlpool factory where she was greeted with enthusiasm by many of the striking workers.

    She told reporters there that Mr Macron’s decision to meet union officials in the comfortable surroundings of an office – rather than come to the factory gates as she had – was a sign of someone who deep down was contemptuous of working people’s lives.

    Seriously, man, did you also order some caviar and cake while you were at it?

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Dammit, Onion, why you have to not be so good anymore?! BibleThump

    1. John Titor

      Sargon was talking about how any meme of Macron should have his head edited onto a 18th century French aristocrat, complete with wig. Because that’s basically what he is.

  24. F. Stupidity Jr.

    No one needs to travel by air while an entire country is starving.

    ~~~holy shitballs, the edit faerie has no clue why that went wrong twice~~~

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      It appears that tags don’t work inside of links? Or what am I doing wrong?

      1. commodious spittoon

        Lookit Junior here, doesn’t want to nest his tags like the rest of us folks.

      2. Gilmore

        there was no closequotes “—” for the URL

    2. BakedPenguin

      The 2nd double quote should ave come before the semicolon & ‘title’

    3. Behold!

      “One good thing going for Air Koryo: they’re never overbooked.”

      Really. You don’t say. A 1 star airline within dirt poor North Korea and just four international destinations (all in China) with planes from the Soviet era, crap food, and playing propaganda the whole time haa trouble finding enough passengers to be overbooked. I can’t tell if they were making a joke or not.

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        and just four international destinations (all in China)

        Hey, now, one of those international destinations was Vladivostok in Russia! They fly into two countries!

        1. The Last American Hero

          This is like when some tiny local airport is an “International” Airport because they have a couple planes fly to Canada every week.

          1. one true athena

            Or Albuquerque “International” which I have a vague memory of a newspaper article about customs pulling out because the flight to mexico was too irregular. That was, I think, in the 90s? (No idea if they’ve changed it or not, tho)

          2. Vhyrus

            Albuquerque sunport is a legit international airport. Alb is the largest city in NM, so it’s not nothing. Now if you were to talk about Las Cruces ‘international airport’ I’d have to agree with you.

          3. one true athena

            when I was a kid in NM it was called an International airport, but it was always a joke. And like I said, I think they pulled customs out at some point for lack of international flights. Maybe they’ve been restored, but I’m pretty sure there was a period when there were none.

  25. Longest bullshit anti-gun screed you’re likely to see any time soon.

    And the fucked up part is that it’s all one anecdote.

    1. Rick C-137

      About halfway through. Lovely stuff. Parading dead children is a real high class move.

      1. It’s all they’ve got, really. They’re losing the 2A fight because leftists are starting to arm themselves because of Trump…and they’re realizing they aren’t killing machines ready to go Maximum Overdrive any moment they’re not disassembled.

      2. A Smelly Encounter Suit

        “If I have seen further it’s only becuase I have stood on a bigger pile of bodies.” /not really a quote.

        1. Rick C-137

          But a prog attribution no less.

    2. Vhyrus

      Okay, she’s an ER doc in Philly. My father was a ICU nurse in DC in the 80s. D fucking C. He got multiple GSW victims every single day. He saw a guy shot 100 times… all in his legs and pelvis, still alive although certainly wishing he was dead. Guess what? He owns as many guns as I do, maybe more. That might have something to do with the fact that he was chased from his homeland by government thugs and saw his neighbors snatched from the fucking streets by the police and military, and he doesn’t want to ever have to deal with that again. Or maybe he just likes to shoot cans and isn’t going to murder anyone since he literally saves peoples lives for a living. I’m not sure.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Hot flight attendants, though.

  26. Rick C-137

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-interior-monuments-idUSKBN17S1MH

    Progs on my derpbook feed are already tripping balls

    1. Gilmore

      Progs on my derpbook feed are already tripping balls

      +1 Fist Pump, Removes Tank Top, Pours Water on Self

      1. Rick C-137

        Yeah. I actually picked it from an acquaintances page, where her post was something like ‘I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS MAKES ME MAD’. No discussion, just anger.

        1. IT’S MORE SCIENTIFIC WHEN YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS!!!

        2. Mad Scientist

          EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR THE PLACES I HAVE NO INTENTION OF VISITING!

          1. Rick C-137

            Essentially yes. That is the conceit, and that DRUMPF is literally selling ‘OUR LAND’ to the KORPARASHUNS!!!!!

        3. Gilmore

          tripping balls” is an expression which AFAIK originated with white people, and was understood to mean =

          “being so high on ecstasy/mushrooms/coke/mesc/microdots at the club that you want to high five all your guido bros and tear your shirt off and start dancing on the table”

          then there’s the black/hiphop use of the term ‘tripping’ which is usually in reference to someone who is freaking out unnecessarily, usually young black women

          *i have heard black folks refer to the 1st definition when they were themselves all fucked up. its one of those terms that seems to go back and forth between subcultures and take on different meanings.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            I wonder if the link technically counts as K-Pop.

          2. Gilmore

            Is she half korean? i knew she was “Blasian”, but not what the recipe was

          3. Gilmore

            Amerie was born to a South Korean mother, artist Mi Suk[7] and African American father, Charles

            there you go. Gtown graduate. That song is a banger in any case.

    2. Grumbletarian

      I’m sure these dolts expect a McMansion development to take place in front of the Lincoln Memorial with high-priced views of The Great Emancipator’s crotch.

    3. The Last American Hero

      I love me some national parks, but both of these were created at the end of Dem Presidencies as a big middle finger to Utah conservatives and have a lot more to do with that than protecting our national heritage.

  27. I expected to find some cringeworthy stuff in the Pope’s TED Talk, but instead I got this:

    “Fortunately, there are also those who are creating a new world by taking care of the other, even out of their own pockets. Mother Teresa actually said: ‘One cannot love, unless it is at their own expense.’”

    Isn’t that a bit different from the standard lefty vision of compassion, which means paying out of someone else’s pocket?

  28. A Smelly Encounter Suit

    Purple/green arcs of light observed at night at northern latitudes, what do we call this magnificent spectacle? Why STEVE of course!

    To get more information, Donovan paired an overpass of a satellite from the European Space Agency (ESA) with a ground sighting of Steve.Β The ESA reportedΒ that as the satellite flew through Steve, the temperature β€œjumped by 3000Β°C and the data revealed a 25 km-wide ribbon of gas flowing westwards at about 6 km/s compared to a speed of about 10 m/s either side of the ribbon.”

    1. bacon-magic

      STEVE SMITH PASS GAS SORRY

  29. Gilmore

    Trump orders rollback of “Federal Power Grab” in Education

    President Donald Trump on Wednesday ordered Education Secretary Betsy DeVos to review the U.S. government’s role in school policy, which supporters cheered as the first step in creating more local control in education and critics worried could lead to lower quality schools in poorer neighborhoods.

    DeVos has 300 days “to review and, if necessary, modify and repeal regulations and guidance issued by the Department of Education with a clear mandate to identify places where D.C. has overstepped its legal authority,” said Rob Goad, a Department of Education official, according to a transcript of a White House call with reporters.

    The second most powerful Republican in the House of Representatives, California’s Kevin McCarthy, said the federal government had in recent years exceeded its legal authority in creating regulations and guidance

    1. I’ve got two words for DeVos: Gut the abomination that is Title IX!

      1. Gilmore

        DoE could defund enforcement, but i think “gutting” it would require congress.

        i think the reason Reason (drink) takes the Robby-stance and says, “simply change the way its enforced” and don’t recommend actually repealing the law is because they know that it would force lawmakers into uncomfortable stances which NOW et al would murder them over. Better to strangle it in the crib, administratively, i think is the ideas.

        What i hate is how they never articulate this

        1. But the problem isn’t the law, it’s the administration of it. The law granted the DoE the power to administer it as it saw fit. So she could gut it by establishing new guidance on its administration.

          1. Gilmore

            the problem isn’t the law, it’s the administration of it

            Any law that vague is a bad law.

            Any law that can be interpreted to mean anything from “making sure girls have sports teams” to “mandating sex-police” is a bad thing.

            as you say, its at the whim of the administration on how to enforce it. Which just leaves open the possibility for future hideous applications regardless for how any current admin decides to downplay it.

            Women are now the majority of students and graduates @ colleges in America. Title IX is a solution in search of a problem.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Don’t get ahead of yourself, this sounds like something we need the UN to weigh in on before we decide on a course of action.

  30. commodious spittoon

    NPR continues to prove its worth as a pillar of American intellectualism.

    In a country where sexual harassment scandals regularly land on the front page, the patriarchy of The Handmaid’s Tale doesn’t feel so far-fetched, which is the most horrific thing about it.

    You can make out only a sliver of light between Bill O’Reilly’s gross treatment of women, and their wholesale sexual enslavement as baby factories. It’s pretty much verging on reality.

    1. I read the novel – Atwood’s scenario took place after a nuclear apocalypse, allowing Christian fundamentalists to take over and start repressing, abortionists, Catholics and Quakers, as well as uppity women.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        As long as uppity women are repressed, I guess it’s worth it.

        1. And abortionists and Quakers.

          1. And Quaker abortionists.

          2. BakedPenguin

            If they’re quaking, they probably shouldn’t be preforming abortions.

          3. John Titor

            You forgot the negroes, which is Atwood going for a classic Canadian “those Americans, huge racists, amiright?”

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            And Jews, who were dumped in the sea during their “repatriation” to Israel.

            Of course, the “Children of Ham” suffered a worse fate by being all relocated to Detroit.

      2. Fatty Bolger

        I remember it being ecological collapse, not nuclear apocalypse.

        1. I’m fairly sure nuclear radiation was involved, in any event.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            What’s annoying is I feel compelled to read this just to be up on current discourse.

          2. commodious spittoon

            I’ll say this about Atwood, she may be a fetishist for global collapse and environmental calamity of the bog-standard we-told-you-so variety, but her books aren’t awful. I liked Oryx and Crake.

          3. Fatty Bolger

            You should read it, it’s actually a very good book. I read it back in 1985 right after it came out, and was very impressed. Then sadly watched as it was turned into a bizarre fetish for feminists.

          4. John Titor

            See, up here it’s basically required reading for English classes, because idiotic Canadian nationalism. Her fiction’s not that bad, but they made you read this in high school, which was already outdated by thirty years when she wrote it in the 70s and is rife with snobbish Toronto WASP assumptions about literature.

          5. John Titor

            I think there’s some punishment related to cleaning up nuclear waste, which I think is more an attempt to tie “nuclear power R bad” onto the ecological message than a nuclear war.

          6. Yeah, the mother of one of the characters was forced to clean nuke waste until she died. I thought it was the aftermath of a war, but maybe I don’t recall correctly.

          7. Fatty Bolger

            Yes, they can be sent to “the colonies” as punishment, ecological wastelands they are presumably trying to rehabilitate for future colonization.

      3. Juice

        Yeah, I read the book too. It’s a pretty quick read, but not that great of a book IMO.

    2. John Titor

      “Doesn’t feel so far-fetched”

      I remind everyone that the justification for the society in The Handmaid’s Tale is that the government tells the banks to close women’s accounts and all the money goes to them. And everyone just goes along with it, including, say, people who work in industries and markets entirely dependent on women. Because reasons.

      This is, of course, as nuanced a feminist scifi as you can get.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF OUR NATIONAL TREAUSURE!

        Jesus, man, if PM Zoolander reads this, his hair will uncurl!

        1. John Titor

          I think Peter Watts, despite being a great hard scifi writer, is a bit of a cunt personality wise, but his ripping apart of Atwood’s snobbish attitude is fantastic.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Sigh, it’s a PDF. Copy/paste is ass. But it’s glorious. I recommend everyone reads it.

      2. Fatty Bolger

        Yeah, I snorted at that when I read it. But it doesn’t really matter, because the story is not about how they took power.

    3. Gilmore

      the patriarchy of The Handmaid’s Tale doesn’t feel so far-fetched, which is the most horrific thing about it.

      I feel the same way about Idiocracy

    4. “Moss made headlines last week when she told an audience at the Tribeca Film Festival that, to her, Handmaid’s Tale is ‘not a feminist story.’ But I wonder if that answer was more about avoiding a political discussion, because the series does an excellent job of depicting women struggling to survive and resist a system that defines females as second-class citizens β€” which kinda sounds like the definition of feminism.”

      So a series about the evils of the Ottoman empire would by definition be feminist?

      Or does he mean that “defin[ing] females as second-class citizens” is in fact the definition of feminism?

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Bah, can’t find it now, but I scrolled past an article critical of the series cast because the main woman is a Scientologist and they aren’t playing up feminism enough.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            That’s it. I think it was reposted to other Gawker Gizmodo properties that show up in my RSS feed, but I saw the tickle text and tapped next.

      2. Juice

        It’s not all females, only fertile ones, and only because they’re so valuable.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            The Cylons?

          2. The Last American Hero

            Young Conan the Barbarian’s captors?

          3. Juice

            I never read anything by him besides the Dune books and I wasn’t too thrilled with Dune Messiah or God Emperor Dune.

          4. Vhyrus

            Dr. Strangelove?

          5. Chipwooder

            The British Army captain in 28 Days Later?

    1. Mad Scientist

      No cigar?!

    2. Old Man With Candy

      What’s the black growth?

      1. KibbledKristen

        Some sort of mole – he’s had it for years.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          My dog had a mole once. Shredded the poor bastard.

          That’s a seriously cute pup you’ve got there.

  31. Suthenboy

    Turn away Eddie.

    Goddamned fucking commie shitbird pope needs a solid asswhipping. The kind that leaves him in a wheelchair. The college needs to be fitted with nooses.

    1. Really? What is it this time?

      1. Is it the TED talk?

        “[The Good Samaritan] felt compassion for this man, which compelled him to act in a very concrete manner. He poured oil and wine on the wounds of the helpless man, brought him to a hostel and paid out of his pocket for him to be assisted….

        “Fortunately, there are also those who are creating a new world by taking care of the other, even out of their own pockets. Mother Teresa actually said: β€œOne cannot love, unless it is at their own expense.”

        Was this wrong? Should the Samaritan have picked someone else’s pocket instead of reaching into his own?

        1. Really, Suthen, you give angry white southern guys a bad name πŸ™

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Maybe he’s talking about the weak Papal response to the atrocity of 12 April, 1204? Fucking Schismatics…

      2. Maybe it’s him palling around with Jim Harbaugh. I mean, doesn’t the father of Holy Mother Church have better people to meet than the coach of such an evil institution as TSUN?

        1. The Last American Hero

          Hey now, Christ walked among the sinners, the whores and prostitutes. Let’s not be Pharisees.

      3. Suthenboy

        Well, I’m a bit drunk and thought oops, I might have misread so I went back and read again.

        Nope. A bunch of collectivist bullshit from a commie POS. It is the pope’s version of obama’s ‘you didn’t build that’ speech.

        1. Seriously? You got that from the speech?

          1. thepasswordispassword

            This can only be resolved with dueling essays about the interpretation of said speech. Footnotes optional.

          2. Vhyrus

            Whoah whoah whoah lets not lose our minds here!

  32. Hey, Hey Glibs!

    I recently watched this BBC documentary – 80 Treasures Around the World – with host Dan Cruickshank.

    Fairly decent, but one of his treasures – the 1851 Navy Colt revolver – was rather oddly presented, which was a given considering the British nature of the show. “The weapon of Manifest Destiny” that allowed Americans to kill Indians was the general message. Would the anti-gun nuts be happier if we had killed the native population with spears? Or is smallpox the only acceptable way?

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      No. Starving them by nearly hunting bison to extinction is another acceptable answer.

    2. The Last American Hero

      ***Spoiler Alert*** #79 and #80 belong to Kate Upton.

  33. commodious spittoon

    I don’t know who this Jeff Goldblum guy is, but George RR Martin lost a ton of weight.

  34. Ken Shultz

    I don’t know who’s right or wrong on this, but somebody’s lying.

    “European Parliament takes first step to lifting Le Pen’s immunity over misused funds
    The move follows a request by French prosecutors to further an investigation into whether Le Pen abused EU funds to pay party assistants. The presidential candidate has dismissed the allegations as a “bare-faced lie.”

    http://www.dw.com/en/european-parliament-takes-first-step-to-lifting-le-pens-immunity-over-misused-funds/a-38600430

    It reads like competing scandals between Comey, Hillary’s email server, Trump’s ties to the Kremlin, piss-gate, etc., etc.

    There’s something fishy about the European parliament lifting immunity from a EU skeptic candidate just ahead of an election–sort of like the FBI selectively leaking or not leaking or whatever the hell happened ahead of Trump being elected.

    The Europeans love to imagine themselves as so much more sophisticated than us heathens in North America, but we’re all just hairless apes looking for a screw.

    Are we not men?

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Yup, just like how as soon as Fillion became the presidential candidate, evidence popped up he paid his wife from government funds for a made-up job.

      Yes, he’s a corrupt fuck. So’s Mr Macron, but no investigation will be started on him.

    2. JD

      We are DEVO!