Think of this like a compilation album.
Note: I strongly caution against watching all these videos at once unless you have a steady supply of alcohol handy.
Dumbest woman in California
California Teachers’ Union explains the 2008 crash:
College Debate Champions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJvBwJ_h-UE
ATF agent confiscates toy guns
CA state senator attempts to describe gun; fails
Tuck Frump
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfrRzW-Yqog
Dramatic atheist at Berkeley
Feminist Musical
Crying Treehuggers
MIT grads can’t make a lightbulb work
Harvard grads can’t explain the seasons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0wk4qG2mIg
Understanding Leftism: Demoralization
Comments
150 responses to “Derp Classics”
I can’t even…
(no, really, I don’t have audio at work)
Turn CC on, if you dare. I couldn’t make it through the first one.
I handled about 15 seconds of that 1st one. Then all the oxygen left the room.
I hate myself, but not enough to watch these videos.
This is fucked and wrong. That warning was seriously not enough. I tried the first vid…couldn’t make it 2 min. The third i had seen before but the news caster in the beginning made me stop it. The fourth even the news desk couldn’t make it to the video. And then i clicked the light bulb one.
OH GOD
WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF!?!?!?!?!?
Pretty sure there’s an amendment in the Constitution that says citizens are to be protected from Cruel and Unusual Punishment.
Does derpatologist work for fedgov?
Wasn’t he in the Army?
I was being facetious in regards to the the constitutional joke above and applying to private citizens…blah blah, where is my beer?
Actually, yes. Army Intelligence.
Based on this article, I’m guessing he was/is into psy-ops.
Perfect. Videos like these will definitely cause our enemies to underestimate us.
OK, that “feminist theatre” video thumbnail? We finally know where Mass Effect: Andromeda character modeling team got their inspiration. Thank you, Derpetologist!
Don’t know bout you but I’m suddenly converted to feminism.
*wails in agreement, makes absurd pose*
WRT the debate video: soft bigotry of low expectations. That is all.
I remember that from a while back. I hadn’t seen the frame around it with the interviewer. It just beggars belief that she’s going along with this flim-flam like it’s perfectly normal. But what can she do? Call it out??
Only watched three of those. My God, that first video. Was that woman suffering from a stroke? There were more “ums” and “uhs” than an Obama speech there. That debate video? WTF was that? That’s a debate? Some guy rapping his point? As for the foaming at the mouth atheist. Good God man, calm the hell down. I don’t think I have it in me to watch the rest of those. (Especially that feminist theater one, I’ve seen clips of that stupid shit before)
I think she called the ‘West coast’ the ‘Nuance coast’. And she wants to put, um, stuff in, like, stores, because it’s all good for us to grow things.
Don’t laugh at her. She’s not that different from your average run of the mill prog.
No, Santa Cruz. But I can understand the mistake.
One of the most beautiful places on earth, infested with stupidest people in the galaxy.
I theorize that the constant good weather ends up rotting certain parts of the brain.
But she has silk worms.
That is what she calls her brain parasites.
First Cali girl, like, would.
I’ve seen last video before and it’s a good antidote to the others
I would too
“30 caliber magazine clip.” Classic.
It’s not just about the idiots making their idiotic speeches. It’s also about all the people who don’t call them out on it. Repeated, unchallenged idiocy becomes the common narrative in a hurry.
I really hope that ATF agent catches a bullet next time he tries to steal someone’s property. What a thug.
The MIT one was fascinating. I can only assume those were electrical engineering majors, and not, like, history majors? (yes, I knew someone who majored in History at MIT. History. At MIT.)
thats the video that made me want to cry. I am now going to push for School of Mines over MIT for bandita. I mean I can’t even.
In my pre-college days I spoke with a philosophy professor at MIT (perhaps *the* philosophy professor at MIT.) Poor bastard – he was a broken man…
One person said “I’m a mechanical engineer, not electrical” holy crap.
My 10, 8 and 5 (possibly) year could put that circuit together and explain the seasons.
My only hope is that it was a Joey Salads (kids in the park crap) sort of thing that took an incredible amount of people doing it correctly and only a very small amount getting it wrong. The wrong is all that makes the video.
Speaking of feminism criticism of a feminist essay on trangenderism
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C-0D9S0UwAA1u-T.jpg:large
More about it
https://heatst.com/culture-wars/feminist-philosophy-journal-apologizes-for-publishing-paper-on-transracialism-rachel-dolezal/
The is actually really frightening. Seriously. The witch hunt is so lost that it is even eating its own acolytes. And the student who responded at the bottom of the article has no clue he will be next when he offends a snowflake.
Giant dunce hats and shame signs hung around the neck come next. Followed by being brained with a shovel for wearing glasses or speaking French.
While a sufficient punishment for speaking French, I don’t get the hate for the nearsighted.
The debate video? Oh god, please no…
And MIT fulfills all my expectations.
You ran this article a day early, Derp.
Because in the middle of the NBA and NHL playoffs, the week after the NFL draft, during the UCL semifinals and with baseball in full swing, they have gone full-fucking retard with the giant lede on their website.
And in case you wanted to comment, don’t bother. They don’t allow them.
They listened to their readership’s complaints.
And their response is “fuck you, yokels!”
But enough about H&R…
I swear to buddha Sloop, i clicked the link, didn’t look at address, and though this is weird. What was sloop saying “they” and referencing all those sports things…then i looked at the URL. It wasn’t even a deep down page…that was the home page.
just … wow.
It’s ESPNW. The “W” seems to be for “woke”.
Haters be damned! Seventy percent of survey respondents said they weren’t afraid of becoming too muscular.
I really don’t know who all the haters are who think there are to many women who are to muscular, I never met any.
I do.
Example: Ever seen Chyna’s playboy spread? You’ll look at muscular women (and roast beef sandwiches) differently once you do.
Well there’s your problem, I don’t think Chyna qualifies as a female of the species.
Her tits may say yes but her micropenis says “nooooooooooooo!”
For very large definitions of ‘micro’?
That spread was worse than the Big Montana Hope Solo was sporting in her fappening pics.
Did you ever see Corey Everson’s spread?
Oh no! 68% of them feel pressure to be pretty.
No fucking way! You mean 2/3 of non-athlete chicks in college (even though the survey is only of 201 people and is supposed to define mores and attitudes of all female college athletes) don’t also feel pressure to be pretty? Bull fucking shit.
Doesn’t everyone feel at least a little pressure to be “pretty”?
I’ll play fair to ESPN and if you go to the regular URL, it’s the 3rd item down in the center.
It’s even technically ‘below the fold’ on my laptop.
You know what else was “below the fold”?
Also speaking of derp this vox article had an initial title saying it “Turns out North Korea’s economy is actually doing pretty well”
https://www.vox.com/world/2017/5/2/15502672/north-korea-economy
I see the dreaded phrase “free markets” in the sub-head!! OMGZ!!!
Look how green the North Koreans are!
Yeah, that’s a terrifying picture – I twitch every time I see it.
So Mr. Comey is back before the Senate today. Republicans attacking him on Clinton’s emails, and Dems on Russia. He made some remark about being “mildly nauseous” at the thought of having influenced the election. CNN turned this into their front page headline. Even though Comey has done what he always does and doubled down on all of his decisions. Meanwhile, Comey confirmed that “somehow” classified emails were forwarded to Anthony Weiner. I mean, it’s like they just appeared in his inbox through osmosis or something because the FBI apparently didn’t bother to ask anyone why they were sending State Department emails to someone not even in government.
It’s just so damn tricky to prove intent.
And I Gilmore’d for the first time. So this is how it feels…
you did it twice. 3 times and i appear in a puff of smoke and will offer to grant you a wish.
Ooooh, something about hair!
I know, right?
Um, just look at the address of the person that sent and received the email. And go slap a pair of cuffs in them with one hand and an immunity agreement in the other.
This is pretty much first week on the job shit and he’s failing at it because he doesn’t want to seem “partisan”. He’s a fucking joke.
Yet Trump wouldn’t fire him. I really don’t get it.
Kabuki theater…
They know he will do anything they ask of him.
Comey puts on the lotion or he gets the hose..
Too obvious at this point. Give it time.
Maybe next they can talk about how Venezuela’s ‘recession’ is almost over…
The Oatmeal had a comic just the other day about the same shit that the KGB guy is talking about.
What was the point of that?
To make
conservativesanyone other than progs question themselves while blindly ignoring the elephant in the room.It’s a comic. Take from it what you will. I thought it was pretty thoughtful and balanced.
JT’s comment below is spot on. If he really wanted to rock the boat, he would have upended some of the cherished beliefs of the proggie left in addition to the uneducated right. But he’s probably scared shitless of them.
I saw him coming from both sides.
Yeah, my general problem with it is that he’s a complete coward. Breaking down his statements designed to ‘upset’ people, there’s a pretty clear pattern (in order): patriot/likes Washington, Christian, conservative patriot, Republican appointed judges supported Roe vs. Wade (which is the only one that even vaguely comes off as a possible challenge to left-wing beliefs, but it could also just be “hey Republicans, your judges support current abortion law”). Then he bravely challenges the beliefs of creationists, because this is 2002.
Of course, the Oatmeal (who was very pro-net neutrality by the way), a goofy online comic designed for young people clearly has a majority audience of patriots, Christians, conservatives, etc. The Oatmeal’s audience certainly isn’t overwhelmingly left-leaning Millennials, most of whom are in university. I mean, of course he wouldn’t have gotten a huge backlash if he posted stuff like “The wage gap is not based on any kind of gender discrimination, but the choices and fields men and women work in.” and “White police officers are statistically more likely to shoot white suspects than black ones.”
The funny thing about him is that a few years ago a buzzfeed writer got the crazy notion that he was a republican and decided to smear the shit out of him. He wrote up a big piece on it but never actually connected the dots as to WHY he was singled out.
In my experience people who say stuff like this, like people who praise critical thinking, go on to do the opposite really, and as other comments said, I kinda doubt he challenges his sincerely held beliefs. Or those of his usual readers. It’s more honest to say something like people have different values and this affects the arguments they believe or not. Rather than that overlong thing.
I only made it like 2/3rds of the way through but don’t get it. I didn’t get emotional about anything in there.
It doesn’t help that I already knew 90% of the random facts he was spewing out, so the only response was “yes, and your point was…?”
I mean, if he had any balls he’d be saying things like “neurological studies have found solid differences in the average male and female brain structures that indicate different preferences and ways of thinking.” backed with citations.
Instead, the Pledge of Allegiance was written by a socialist! Oh no, my beliefs have been permanently challenged? …Wait, I don’t care.
One plus three is TACO!
Now compute your THAC0.
-10
Your comment was a swing and a miss.
I like some of the Oatmeal’s work, but this is just “hey guys, I found out about the amygdala hijack today, it must mean that I am so unbiased and objective in comparison to your cognitively broken true believers.”
I didn’t perceive it that way at all. I thought he was pointing the finger at himself as much as everybody else.
Hmmmm … up until the point he pats himself on the back for being so awesomely rational, waiting for his amygdala to calm down and then … “change”.
I’m normally a fan, but that was a bit cringe-y
A better point to wrap up with: it’s like masturbation. It’s fine to do in private. In fact you can probably find other people who would enjoy doing it with you. Just remember that when you whip it out in public, you’re the ass.
It’s a good point, but maybe my Bene Gesserit training is kicking in or something because I didn’t feel any particular way about any of it. I even paused to develop my own counterarguments to strongly-held beliefs and opinions, and my reaction typically went from, “Well, there may be something to that argument, even if I don’t agree with it,” to “The available evidence doesn’t support that statement.”
He points his finger at himself, until he rolls on the ‘pinkie’ comment. Which is not how the amygdala hijack works, you can’t just magically project your ’emotional’ part of your brain and pretend its an independent aspect, the emotional part is a core aspect of your reasoning.
As I point out above, The Oatmeal got really annoyed and condescending to people who didn’t support net neutrality. If one were to challenge his belief and produce sound arguments as to why it’s a bad idea, do you think it would change his mind? I don’t. I think he’d pretend his ’emotional’ part of his brain is some strawman of his opponent.
OT: John, there’s an interesting podcast from War College on Magick and the Nazis that includes good discussion on memetic warfare and meme magic
I think the fight or flight thing is maybe a little oversold. I talk to my dad quite a bit, and we agree on many things but disagree on a few big tenets of faith. But he’s not a political evangelist and I don’t expect him to hate me for my opinion, so I’m happy to entertain his points of view. My SIL, on the other hand, is quite progressive and has no interest in discussing topics in good faith. When she brings up a controversial subject, she’s raring for a fight. I’m not interested in fighting her. I’m not much more interested in discussing things with my dad, not really, since bandwidth is cheap and omnipresent. Any ideas I need to synthesize are readily available at the tips of my fingers and authored by more intelligent and better informed people than either one of us. But I’m not rocked back on my heels when he makes a point that runs counter to my own beliefs. I’m gratified he feels free to bring it up.
So I don’t see it as “George Washington had a set of teeth made from the teeth of slaves, now how do you feel?” In isolation, that’s a fine mental exercise. In context, that oblique statement may as easily be “George Washington, slaves, teeth, the founding of America was immoral and we should feel ashamed.” It’s the unstated, the skirted, or the intimated argument framed by the statement that gets me indignant and lathered up.
The other day SIL & brother invited me to watch Bill Nye’s new show. From what I overheard, it’s pretty innocuous. The other day I said it reminds me of Skeptic’s Guide episodes I listened to over half a decade ago. Nothing groundbreaking. I would be bored rather than incensed for most of it. But I also know that a lot of that mundane crap is filler for the ideological components. It’s just another channel for advancing progressive presumptions that would, in fact, make me fairly irate, and to dress them up as being just as uncontroversial as whether vaccines cause autism or GMOs are toxic. So I demurred and left the room. Does that make me ideologically flighty and paranoid? I suppose. But on the other hand, I’m fleeing the political implications, not the factual content. I’m interested in trangenderism as a topic of mental health. Less so in being lectured for being insufficiently woke because I’m not immediately willing to accept that surgical mutilation is an appropriate, in fact unquestionably necessary, remedy.
My wife and I watched Chappelle’s new stand-up. I thought it was funny at times, although not as strong as earlier stuff. My wife was scandalized by his homophobic slurs, anti-choice tirade, slut-shaming, etc. I’m paraphrasing, but basically at no point was she able to disengage from her political beliefs (which are also social beliefs, as she’s a progressive) and just look at it as entertainment. It not only failed to reify her beliefs, but actually offered a contrary viewpoint (to her mind, at least) and that made it impossible for her. FFS, she couldn’t even watch stand-up without forcing it through the filter of her political affiliation. She’s another one who seems unable to discuss issues of any controversy whatsoever without turning it into an argument.
So, we just talk about other stuff, and when she brings something up like climate change I just change the subject. It’s a shame, because she’s very, very intelligent and in all other ways fantastic, but she’s gonna prog as hard as she can prog until she either keels over or comes around on her own.
I hate how cherished Samantha Bee is among lefties. They sell themselves so sort in the humor department. Things like 30 Rock depicted conservatism and Republicans in an almost uniformly bad light, but the jokes were funny and often self-deprecating so the show as a whole was quite enjoyable. Samantha Bee, Steven Colbert, Trevor Noah try to cash in on sanctimony by flattering progressive pieties and end up being about as funny as Joss Whedon, which is to say, like an abortion clinic dumpster fire.
Well, it’s that Bee, Colbert etc aren’t comedy shows.
They’re designed to be political disinformation vehicles, which I guess might be of some value if the audience didn’t treat them as though they were objective news reporting.
that’s a nice turn of phrase for what the media does.
“…and end up being about as funny as Joss Whedon, which is to say, like an abortion clinic dumpster fire.”
I don’t know, I laughed pretty hard at that visual.
I liked it until the end with the beautiful universe horseshit.
Derp de derp. Derp de derpity derpy derp. Until one day, the derpa derpa derpaderp. Derp de derp da teedily dumb. From the creators of Der, and Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too, Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb.
Rob Schneider is…a stapler!
Hey, that’s my line!
Hey, Derpetologist, you’re doing a good job. I especially like the responses from your proggie friend. You should get him to read or reread the story of “The Little Red Hen.” I would like to hear his response to that.
The likely response is that it is fake news…
The second video was created by Democratic Underground, right?
I just posted this in links, but all the cool kids are in the new thread…
The Dark Tower trailer is out.
Interesting line considering Stephen King’s politics, but I don’t know how much he’s involved with the movie.
So Mr. Comey is back before the Senate today. Republicans attacking him on Clinton’s emails, and Dems on Russia. He made some remark about being “mildly nauseous” at the thought of having influenced the election. CNN turned this into their front page headline. Even though Comey has done what he always does and doubled down on all of his decisions. Meanwhile, Comey confirmed that “somehow” classified emails were forwarded to Anthony Weiner. I mean, it’s like they just appeared in his inbox through osmosis or something because the FBI apparently didn’t bother to ask anyone why they were sending State Department emails to someone not even in government.
It’s just so damn tricky to prove intent.
That must be in the Red Band version of the trailer.
Comey should feel super nauseated about taking the fall for Clinton by way of Loretta Lynch. Everything that came afterward is just window dressing.
^^ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
there were at least a half dozen examples of crimes they could have prosecuted. i think they could have gotten Cheryl Mills on perjury if they’d pushed harder but they literally refused to ask her any direct questions about contradictions between her prior claims and uncovered facts. Basically the FBI ran their investigation like Col Klink; they weren’t trying to find evidence, they were trying to *look past the evidence right in front of them*. The entire purpose was to create the appearance of an investigation, not the substance of one.
This is so damn obvious, yet all the progs insist that Hillary was totally exonerated.
What good is a show trial/court for if not to give the veneer of legitimacy to criminal activity?
Oh, Roland Deschain… <3
#Maninblacklivesmatter?
Heh. I guess the movie is set after book seven of the series. I’m sure I’ll see it, but am wary.
They finally cast Matthew McHewhehwhew in the role he was born for.
I read the Dark Tower series when it first came out. I was asked to describe it to someone else.
I basically said, “Take Steven King, give him high-literary pretensions, take away his tight-plotting-ability”
that’s not a bad thing, its just what it is. I thought the books were closer to the magical realism of Borges than “Pet Semetary”
Consequently i think it will probably be a miserable film. I suppose it depends on how creative the director is in shoehorning some simple movie-plot into the world king invented. The problem i see is that so much of the vision of the books relies on the realism of that world, and its just hard to do that sort of dual-universe thing in films without one side (the magical one) feeling ‘fake’.
I enjoyed Herbert Lom in it.
I watched it this morning, and had to verify it was based on a King story. It’s not really “pro-gun”, but at this point I don’t even expect “gun neutrality – hold the user responsible instead” from Hollywood.
Berkely guy is so hardcore he doesn’t even believe in shoes
SHOES ARE THE WORK OF YOUR PHONY GOD
That atheist guy convinced me to never tell anyone I am atheist ever again for fear of association with him. I may have to become a full fledged jew just to get away from him.
Also, you can tell this did not happen recently cause if it had everyone would be cheering him and agreeing with everything he said (up to the muslim comment which would have gotten him stoned).
I would convert to Judaism just for the jokes.
Not for control of banks and the media?
I feel your meme photo unfairly maligns corgis. They are innocent victims smeared by derp association!
I agree. It should have been Golden-Doodles.
Le Pen cracks 40 in the rolling averages Not sure she has enough time to make up the remaining ground though – four days until the runoff.
Isn’t there a debate tonight? If she lights him up and/or if there’s a terrorist attack between now and the weekend, it could get very interesting.
Is it wrong to want to beat the shit out of the debate team?
Probably. But the coaches need a working over for sure.
“Hey, bud. Wanna have a go?”
“Oh, fuck yeah, bud.”
The ‘Fuck Trump’ one is without a doubt the stupidest most retarded thing yet.
Holy mother of my Lord.
What in the heck was that?
Tolerant progressives, duh.
Scream therapy for retards.
Yes, but on the other hand the woman in the headscarf was super-duper hot.
If you guys haven’t done so yet, watch the documentary, Best of Enemies. The doc is about the Gore Vidal- William F. Buckley televised debates during the 1968 Presidential Election and how much these guys hated each other. Buckley thought that the debates would be about politics but at the first debate Gore Vidal (who represented the liberal view) immediately attacked Buckley personally. Buckley being blindsided and having to defend himself lost the first couple of debates until .
That right there explains the Left’s tactic of debating. They will attack your character or throw some shit on the wall and instead of debating the actual issue, you are defending yourself and scraping the shit that they threw off the wall. And it usually works. The Romney 2012 Presidential campaign was the best example of this happening. He spent more time fighting the perception that he wasn’t some cold-hearted racist homophobic capitalist as opposed to actually advocating whatever bullshit policy he had in mind.
With Trump, the Left and their media lapdogs lobbed accusation after accusation towards him and he basically told them to fuck off and didn’t explain himself. And not only did he do that he used their own methods against them. And it fucking worked. That’s why I wish that every GOP politician or Libertarian (cough cough Reason) commentators would stop catering to the opposition and tell them to fuck off and laugh off their bullshit accusations.
thanks
*Buckley being blindsided and having to defend himself lost the first couple of debates until he used that tactic against Vidal .
Was that the “I should sock you in the goddamn mouth, you fairy” debate?
Yep
He kept on referring to Buckley as a crypto-Nazi and he finally lost his cool. That was Vidal’s goal from the very beginning.
It’s like the old saying, When they go low, you bring the pain.
“CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE BUCK IS COOKING?!”
Ivanka wanted Trump to issue a big apology after the Grab-em audio was leaked. That was a good time not to listen to her.
First video: 26 seconds.
I am too dumb now to even try the rest.
1:15 on the second. It had a cute little rich guy I could cheer for for a while.
I made it all the way through the “debate club” story, but I couldn’t finish any of the others.
I tried to watch that “SJW Atheist vs. Christian” thing, but I cringed so fucking hard when he screamed, “atheism forever!”
I don’t believe in a deity of any kind, but I’m very hesitant to use the word “atheist” because of asswipes like this guy.