People have been justifiably lambasting Bill Nye and Netflix over Rachel Bloom’s performance of “My Sex Junk” in Nye’s new series, Bill Nye Saves The World. And yet it seems that Bloom’s performance itself has, by and large, undeservedly escaped censure. Although “My Sex Junk” spectacularly plunges into unintentional self-mockery, allow me to have a grab at some of the lowest-hanging fruit ever produced.
I’m no expert on song lyrics – in fact, I listen to mostly instrumental music – but I feel rather secure in thinking that Rachel Bloom’s “Sex Junk” doesn’t rise to the level of Paul Simon, Sarah McLachlan, or Noel Gallagher. It doesn’t even rise to the level of “Louie Louie”.
It begins on a stupid note, and only gets worse from there:
DJ SEAHORSE
This one goes out to all my bipeds
who identify as ladies!
And now enter…Rachel Bloom.
BLOOM
This world of ours
is full of choice
But must I choose between
only John or Joyce?
First of all, way to other Suzanne Somers there. But when did “choice” enter into this discussion? I thought this stuff was decided for you by biological urges.
Are my options
only hard or moist?
My vagina
has its own voice
So, you opt for “moist”, then? Or were you trying to look into adding teeth? A Doomcock? Tentacles? We’re two verses in, and we’re farther away from a point than when we started.
Not vocal cords
a metaphorical voice
Kudos on rhyming “voice” with “voice”. This is Shakespearean stuff.
[speaking]
Sometimes I do a voice for my vagina
Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who does that.
WOMEN HAVE VAGINAS AND THAT’S SO FUNNY! But what are we talking about here?
CHORUS
Cause my sex junk
Is so oh-oh-oh
Much more than
either or-or-or
I’d like to think that Rachel Bloom (born 1987) was a fan of Bill Nye’s as a little kid, and when she heard that Netflix was going to reboot his show, she was excited. And because she was a fan, she arranged to meet him; however, as so often happens, meeting your childhood heroes can be underwhelming, if not an outright disappointment. Nevertheless, during the meeting, she agreed to contribute something to his new project.
With the “meh” of their meeting fresh in her mind, Bloom moved the Nye project onto the back burner for months until, suddenly, the deadline loomed large on the horizon. Frantically, she scratched words on to the page, all the while cursing herself for not backing out of the project. The midnight oil burned through the smallest hours, there wasn’t a single grain of cocaine anywhere in sight, and she was falling asleep at the keyboard. She looked over the latest revision of the first draft: It’ll be fine. I’ll do a stupid dance, I’ll do the vagina voice joke. No one’s going to be parsing every single word, they’ll be laughing too hard.
If that isn’t what happened, if this is the best that Rachel Bloom could come up with, and if Bill Nye and his people reviewed the material and said “This is great!”, then fuck it. I’m going on a shooting spree. I can’t believe producers threw money at a bunch of placeholder lyrics written by an insane person and then presented this material as educational and/or entertaining. Wrapping my shoes in duct tape is more enlightening than this stuff, and way more fun.
Power bottom
or a top off
Versatile love
may have some butt stuff
WHEN ARE WE GETTING TO THE GENDER IDENTITY PART??
It’s evolution
ain’t nothin’ new
there’s nothin’ taboo
about a sex stew
Well, we’ve touched on Jack and Janet, sexual organs, role-play, sex acts, and evolution. Nothing about the topic du jour.
Just add salt
or Gerard Depardieu
[spoken]
French treasure
If we’re forced to live with the heavy hand of the state anyway, I’d like for everyone involved with this travesty to be arrested, and their assets seized, on the grounds that this video is promoting pedophilia. My justification goes like this:
1) Bill Nye,The Science Guy was a show aimed at children. His reappearance on Netflix could fool parents into thinking that his current show is aimed at children, thus exposing them to age-inappropriate content like this
2) Gerard Depardieu starred in 1993’s My Father The Hero with a then-14-year old Katherine Heigl. One of the film’s set-pieces involved a musical number in which Depardieu’s character was misunderstood to be singing about the joys of romantic love with underage girls. Clearly, Bloom’s reference to Gerard Depardieu is expressing solidarity with that idea
3) As is well-known, the French Treasure is a particularly sordid sex act involving foie gras, spools of pastel-tinted yarn, a half-dozen Gauloises, and a schoolgirl uniform. Or so I’m told
4) The French are all a bunch of perverts
CHORUS
Cause my sex junk
Is so oh-oh-oh
Much more than
either or-or-or
If they’re alive, I’ll date ’em
Channing or Jenna Tatum
I’m up for anything
Don’t box in my box
Let me rewrite this so that…let’s say, “it’s less incomprehensible”. Because “it makes sense” is the wrong phrase here:
I’m not very selective
about my sex partners
I’ll even have sex with super-hot celebrity couples
It’s so cool how I’m not a prude
Still waiting on something – anything – about transgenderism.
Give someone new a handy
then give yourself props
I’m not even going to comment on this toe-jam posing as a couplet, because the video now takes a sudden nosedive into the darkest depths of stupid.
[ENTER: Man with glasses taped in the middle. He is wearing a collared shirt, dark tan khakis pulled up too high. His shirt pocket is loaded with pens. He is a NERD]
NERD
Oh, you think you’re so smart
Did you learn gay in college?
I told you he’s a nerd. See, only nerds have prudish ideas about gay being a lifestyle choice which young people are fooled into choosing at liberal universities. Who isn’t aware of that particular nerd stereotype? That’s what makes “My Sex Junk” so funny and hard-hitting – how true to life it is.
BLOOM
Chill with all of that
while I drop some knowledge
“Give yourself props”, “drop some knowledge”? Awfully problematic, this white girl using language found in hip-hop, isn’t it? But I suppose the super-woke deserve a pass.
When she says “drop some knowledge”, I assume she means from the top of a ten-story building, shattering it into a million tiny shards of derp. Let’s see:
Sexuality’s a spectrum
everyone is on it
even you might like it
if you sit up on it
Oh, so this was about sexual orientation after all? Also: Rachel Bloom seems to think we can use the sexuality spectrum to pleasure ourselves with.
Drag queen, drag king
just do what feels right
You’re a tall pansexual
flirty wood sprite
But…but being a drag queen =/= sexual preference. We’re back to sexual identity now. Or are we?
Who enjoys a fleshlight
in the cold moonlight?
That question sounded familiar.
NERD
With a sad clown
Skyping by satellite?
This guy again? Because this dumpster fire of a performance wasn’t stupid enough?
BLOOM
Damn skippy, home slice
sing it with me all night
Is it wrong of me to wish that Rachel Bloom ends up in a dog-fighting ring as a contestant?
[The NERD and BLOOM slap high-fives and then the NERD pulls off tearaway pants. Goddammit, I hate my well-functioning eyeballs sometimes]
BLOOM
Sex how you want
it’s your goddamn right
Which amendment was that again? Because if you thought the whole gay wedding cake fiasco was a shit-show, wait until you’ve received a court order to bang Lindy West or Matt Yglesias.
CHORUS
Cause my sex junk
Is so oh-oh-oh
Much more than
either or-or-or
Get off your soapbox
get off your soapbox
Get off my soapbox? MY soapbox?? Excuse me, but one of us spent lots of time and many thousands of dollars to make an insipid music video on the subject of human sexuality AND IT WASN’T ME.
My sex junk’s better than
bagels with lox
With lots of schmear
“Excuse me, waiter? I’ll have the sex junk and a cup of Americano, please.”
[Performance ends with BLOOM, NERD, and RANDOM DANCER standing in tableau. MORONS in audience applaud wildly. VOTERS look on in horror, prepare to re-elect TRUMP]
Comments
111 responses to “Lyrical Analysis of “My Sex Junk””
Trying to compete with Derpetologist?
There can be only one.
Austria’s Green Party to teach women how to urinate standing up Austria’s Green Party to teach women how to urinate standing up
May 5 (UPI) — A local wing of Austria’s Green Party announced it is holding a special meeting to teach women how to urinate standing up in unclean public bathrooms.
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/?utm_source=fp&utm_campaign=nav&utm_medium=on
Thank you. I couldn’t actually watch or listen to the entire song, so it’s nice to have this.
Yeah, me too. Thanks!
If one can argue that Beethoven’s 9th Symphony is the Everest of music, this song is near the bottom of the Marianas Trench.
As a libertarian (drink) I really don’t care about who, what or how you want to have a sex life as long as all participants freely consent. But the gorilla is the room with this dreck is that it has nothing to do with the purported theme. Maybe this was too derp even for Derpologist?
The video is less than 3 minutes long, yet I felt like Beowulf battling Grendel.
If one can argue that Beethoven’s 9th Symphony is the Everest of music,
One could argue that, but one would be terribly wrong.
Bach’s Brandenburg Concerti. Mozart’s Symphony #40. Tchaikovsky’s 5th. Mendelssohn’s Italian Symphony. Zadok the Priest. Heck, even Beethoven’s 7th is better than the Ninth.
Then there’s this.
He’s not terribly wrong, but you’re right about Mozart’s 40th. His later symphonies were some of the greatest music ever written. Also, nearly everything else he wrote.
Ted, I will give you Bach’s Brandenberg Concerto and consider Beethoven’s 5th or 6th since I am not a fan of the 7th. But then again I like Holst’s “The Planets” so my tastes might be suspect. My point remains undisputed that this dreck belongs at the bottom of the Marianas Trench.
Just out of curiosity, why would enjoyment of “The Planets” make your classical music tastes questionable?
I’m a Baroque feller. Give me chamber music or give me death!
I think the Ninth is overrated. Beethoven should have used “An die Schadenfreude” instead.
How does that saying go? Opinions are like rectal sphincters. Everyone has one and they think the other person’s stinks.
Add Debussy’s Arabesque No. 1. And Dvořák’s New World Symphony.
No, it is you who are wrong! (evil laugh)Hahahahahahaha!
Seriously, we’re doing a classical music dick-measuring contest?
I’ll know I live in a society that values truth, when it’s perfectly legal to walk around naked.
i feel an author somewhere is being cheated of attribution. Guest Contributor is far too prolific.
F. Stupidity Jr. It’s in the tickle text.
that wouldn’t help anyone linked to this. just saying.
given that most people post under handles, maybe attribution isn’t much of a concern, but it still seems like a formal oversight
Nah, you’re right. It’s important that people have their names attached to their work even if these things aren’t going on people’s writing resumes. We’re still trying to nail some things down as this is a labor of love for us rather than a professional gig, but guest contributors should definitely be getting an in article byline.
a lot of reputable journals (*not that this place has any such ambitions) actually started off as informal places for anonymous submissions.
not saying that for any reason, its just sort of interesting. i think i mentioned to you that my buddy wrote for mcsweenys for a number of years under assumed names. (*his publishing there would have been frowned on by his employer at the time)
“Tickle text” sounds soooo gay.
Since we’re bitching about liberal bullshit on here (And since all I ever talk about is guns):
Newspaper suspends black woman for going off the plantation.
AHEM!
Nobody reads the links.
If you expect me to wake up that early on a fucking Saturday then you sir can piss straight up a rope.
But…but being a drag queen =/= sexual preference. We’re back to sexual identity now. Or are we?
I’m not sure this is a valid criticism in the context of the rest of the show. They broke out an abacus in a different segment to explain various combinations of biological sex, gender/gender identity, sexual orientation, etc. The video is definitely a dumpster fire of awful, but discussing all of those issues was well within the purview of an episode handling all of those issues and the infinite combination of them.
Jesse likes the song. You heard it here first.
It’s hard to find ways to torture people that haven’t been banned by the Hague.
“My Sex Junk” Deconstructed! Finally, thank you Mr Stupidity.
what i found as repulsive as the video itself is Nye trying to act hip beside the DJ bouncing his head and “give it up for”
semi-random thoughts
During the peak of WW2, the US spent about $900bil/yr (inflation-adjusted) on the military compared to about $600bil/yr today. There were about 12 million in uniform at the peak of WW2 compared to about 1.2 million today.
It’s true that the weapons we have now are a lot more expensive, yet I find it interesting that while military spending fell by 33%, the size of the military fell by 90%. Roughly speaking, each member of the military costs 7 times more than during WW2.
The F35 program’s cost is somewhere around $1.5tril. During WW2, that would have been enough to fund 20 million troops for a year. I’ve heard good things about the F35, but if I had choice between that and an army of 20 million, I’m going with the giant army, because there are things a giant army can do that no fighter jet or any other weapon can do.
Afghanistan has about 30 million people. About 7 million of them live in the 19 largest cities. Assuming you need about 1 soldier per 100 residents, you’d need a minimum of 70k troops just to clear and hold those areas. Peak US strength there was 100k in 2011. There are about 8k US troops in Afghanistan now.
There’s no way to get around the fact that defeating an insurgency requires massive numbers. During the 2nd Boer War, the British and their allies outnumbered the Boers by about 10 to 1 and it still took over 2 years to defeat them. Using the same ratio, 600k troops would be required to defeat the Taliban’s 60K.
American troop deaths are unacceptable. Therefore, more expensive equipment.
It appears that even enemy deaths are becoming unacceptable.
That and the aerospace companies have better lobbyists than the various companies that make weapons and equipment for infantry.
On a side note, I wonder about the pros and cons of armored vehicles. Yeah, a really heavy vehicle provides a lot more protection, but they’re also much slower, use more fuel, have a shorter range, etc. I think the ideal is a vehicle with armor think enough to stop small arms and shrapnel, since those are the weapons most likely to be faced. There’s very little that can be done to protect against an anti-tank guided missile or a really big bomb buried in the ground.
This article is an interesting discussion of armored warfare in the Sahara:
http://warisboring.com/malis-desert-climate-is-the-doom-of-armored-vehicles/
Basically, because of the dust and heat, the only practical vehicles are pick-up trucks.
“The Malian army still possesses dozens of Soviet-era vehicles, but they don’t often leave their bases. “Among other things, the vehicles have no air conditioning, and the desert heat all but immobilizes their crews,” the Santa Monica, California-based RAND Corporation noted in a recent study.
“The thin-skinned vehicles are no match for more quickly moving pickup trucks firing heavy machine guns or dismounted fighters with RPG-7s.”
Traditionally, warfare in Africa’s Sahel region was carried out by camel-riding Arab and Tuareg raiding parties. This form of razzia combat was embraced by the modern Chadian army, which replaced camels with Toyota pickup trucks and proceeded to defeat the Soviet-supplied Libyan army in the 1980s.”
“Small quadcopter drones, intended to be carried on the Fuchs’ rooftops, have also been rendered unusable because of melted batteries. German army regulations prohibit storing the drones inside the vehicles with soldiers.”
Following rules no matter how stupid they are rather than changing them? That’s so German.
I loved that show when I was a kid.
So did i. I only ever saw it while i visited w. my grandparents. For some reason they always had tv shows from the 1960s that we didn’t get in NY.
It was on late when I was a wee one (late 60’s). Well past my bedtime. It was a treat when my parents let me watch it.
I was always amazed at how clean and tidy they were out in the desert with freshly ironed uniforms and such.
The old western shows were much the same.
Just stop thinking so much, hate the Russians, and keep paying your taxes.
If we achieve total victory in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq tomorrow exactly how do we benefit as a nation? What the fuck do we get out of it?
(obvious answer = not much, if at all; then again, no one has ever narrowly defined what ‘victory’ means in any of those places anyway)
What’s funny is that i’ve frequently heard some people suggest that US policy should be guided by “moral” postures in some circumstances…
….but will at the same time will insist that there’s absolutely no moral requirements in others. Which basically argues either that either their own moral priorities are selective, or that other people’s moral arguments can be simply handwaved away, while their own should always be taken seriously.
The idea that the US has ‘moral obligations’ to countries it blows the fuck up is actually pretty common. I think its an idea formed out of the myth that our post-WWII occupation of Germany/Japan was primarily done for morally-pure reasons, trying to spread democracy and stuff, and only ended up being in our own global strategic interests by some complete accident.
so there seems to exist this assumed ‘responsibility’, where when the US bombs someplace, we don’t just walk away afterward. which is odd, because the first place that comes to mind in that regard is Vietnam, and i’m not sure they would have benefited at all from any continued US presence.
The main benefit would be no longer having to fight in those places. It would also discourage other groups from trying to do what ISIS and the Taliban are doing now.
I think nation building is a bad idea, but it can be done successfully. The problem is there is not enough support for the measures and sacrifices required to achieve it. A decision must be made. If nation-building is the goal, troop levels need to be greatly increased, the constitutions of Iraq and Afghanistan need to be re-written the way the US forced the Japanese to rewrite their constitution. Nation building is just a euphemism for forced Westernization. On the other hand, if the goal is just to force ISIS and the Taliban to surrender, more troops and very intense and aggressive bombing campaign are needed.
If there is no desire to do any of that, the best course of action is to let the people over there and whoever else wants to be involved deal with it. The most likely outcome of that will be either a secular dictatorship or a theocracy. If the main goal is defense against terrorism, that would be best achieved through adopting a defensive posture with anti-terror measures that actually work, that is do what Italy and Israel do. Look for the bomber, not the bomb. Jail and/or deport people who call for terror attacks or express jihadist sympathies. Pivot from technology to human intelligence- recruiting double agents, moles, etc. Carry out discreet assassinations of leaders and financiers.
Whatever else happens, I hope that this scenario does not come true:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2HV_2A7x2M
I find much of the modern technology completely unpractical for a large scale conflict that would drag on. There’s individual parts of the F-22 that take months and months (I think 9 months for one component) to make, and no one will convince me that they’ll be so dominant to offset their slow production. Then we just have an absolutely bloated bureaucracy at the Pentagon that just keeps growing now out of inertia. You can’t fire people, and efficiency is going down, so what do you do? Hire more of them, of course.
What’s happening isn’t really unique to America, even if the underlying causes seem aren’t exactly the same. You can look back at ancient empires of the past and see that the size of their military did not proportionally grow with population or even wealth.
I think if it came down to it – as in previous conflicts. We’d find a way around manufacturing limitations such as this – granted the micro/miniature aspect is more troublesome, but we had techs on our ship who could get a lot of faulty circuit cards working again. If it came down to the wire, there’d be jury-rigging out the wazoo. We’ve already got 3d printer on aircraft carriers and other facilities for immediate replacement of some parts.
If the manufacturing base could get around to building a full on liberty ship from stem to stern in 4.5 days! (down from the original 244 days) – publicity stunt or not – we could work around it. Of course as I talk about in future articles (part 2, etc) our lack of port infrastructure will be a problem in any immediate term scenario.
That said, our troops are also amazingly well trained (comparatively speaking) – and that doesn’t come cheap. As I’m sure Derpetologist could tell you from his multi-month language school.
We talk about not wanting “specialists” in any field – and we pay to have troops who can absolutely make do with what they’ve got where they wind up – whether they’re tankers, MPs, gunners mates, surface warfare officers, EOD techs, analysts, etc.
700,000 civilian full time DoD employees aren’t going to shoot insurgents themselves. I bet we have more worthless Remfs than the next 10 militaries combined.
Yet people wonder where the budget goes. Who else is going to secure the Burger King and Pizza Hut contracts to supply top notch eats on bases in Afghanistan.
*elbows westernsloper aside to get to the oh so delicious taste of Hardee’s burger*
My anaconda don’t want none
Unless you got buns, hon.
“It doesn’t even rise to the level of “Louie Louie”.”
“even”?!?!?
Philistine.
“Can we dance wif yo dates”?
I had never heard of Rachel Bloom before this, and frankly, wish I was still ignorant of her existence. My take away from the video (when someone posted it here) was how out of breath she was by the end of the song. Go to the gym girl. Hell, take a walk. I am a disgusting display of physical fitness at the moment compared to my younger self, but holy shit.
The whole Bill Nye thing is just annoying. My Netflix history is 95% gratuitously violent war and spy movies with an occasional documentary. I have never watched a television episode on Netflix. I have watched a few Netflix originals, but never anything from real TV, yet Netflix thinks one of my top matches is the Bill Nye show? I am close to canceling my subscription for that idiotic algorithm.
The algorithm likely still gives Netflix the ability to override or favor their own content. And the morons who run Netflix likely think Bill Nye is going to be the next big thing akin to John Oliver or Bill Maher (pretend those two are actually influential). But between their support for net ‘neutrality’ and the obvious political overtones of their original content, I’d never pay them a dime of my own money. There’s nothing they have that you can’t find online in five seconds for free.
I was wondering if they overrode it and put Bill Nye in everyone’s recommendations. It is not a big cost, and it is handy for when you don’t know what to watch. I was a big netflix supporter in the early days of streaming. Now I forget I have it, and then think about a movie and go there. I am not a fan of the “free” torrent sites so much. I feel like I am stealing. I am old though. Oddly, I never had a problem going to the dude with the DVD cart on the street when I visited other countries rampant with piracy. Maybe it was the money exchanged for his effort to gather and sell the movies. Capitalism!!
I occasionally have a scrolling bar of all of Netflix’s original programs on my feed – so I think it’s a self-promo thing more than a preferences thing – it is their site/company after all. Just like the Alexa/fire ads at the top of amazon when I log in.
peaky blinders is good.
It’s on my recommendations list as well for no god damn reason whatsoever.
Meh, I liked her Ray Bradbury song and one or two others.
Can’t take anyone seriously who only listens to “instrumental music”…..
*Copies, pastes*
Why that is some sort of dividing line for you between the serious and frivolous I can’t quite understand. Why does the serious mind demand lyrics in their music, do you think?
Only!!!!
Mostly, only. Same difference. Mostly the same anyway.
Okay, fine. I accept your premise – I listen to nothing but instrumental music. So please, answer my question – what is so unserious about instrumental music?
I will answer the question, but only if you can coherently convey it through hums, whistles, and guttural throat noises.
Ha HA. You didn’t disqualify sign language. #winning
I still don’t get why the nerd is singled out an othered, in a song that’s ostensibly about accepting everyone, no matter what.
Yeah, since the host of the show “presents” as an uber-nerd. They were social signally and all of their rainbow colored flags turned into dreary brownish hues.
You forgot to add the the most essential part of this analysis, at the end where Bill Nye walks out on stage and makes an awkward show giving all the “dancers” and “musicians” high fives and tells them “That’s the right message. The right message”
Then Bill wrapped things up, and proceeded to drive around until 2AM looking for the right prostitute to strangle. Seriously, look at those dark, vacant eyes he has.
He does have that serial killer look.
Maybe someone should have a poke around his house. Check the shed, the attic. Have a look in the crawlspace.
Says the man lounging in his banana hammock. I am with you bro.
I really should have mentioned it. I also should have mentioned the shots of Bill standing by DJ Seahorse, enjoying the performance through terrible dancing.
that was the best part
Bill gettin his groove on
Random thought
Traditionally, boiling is part of the brewing process, mainly for sterilization and later for pasteurization. My question is: could irradiation be used instead of boiling to make beer? I asked a brewer about this and he said the main problem would be marketing since most people think radiation = bad!
If I had the time and money, I’d make irradiated beer. Call Chernobyl with a big radiation symbol on the can.
Or not. Turns out there some beers with Chernobyl in the name already.
well, and the expense. it would seem to me to be replacing a ‘cheap and simple’ way of accomplishing the sterilization/pasteurization goals with an expensive and complex* process.
(*at least in the sense that it would require redesigning a brewery in an entirely novel way)
there might be some benefits in speeding the process, cost-reductions in other areas (less spoilage?)… but i’d be more interested in seeing those demonstrated in practice first rather than on paper.
Speed up brewing? Craft brewers are way ahead of you. They brew ales, which finish in a very short time. Let it ferment for half a day, overload it with medicinal-flavored hops, put it in a bottle with a wise-assed label and sell it by the acre foot to the beer connoisseurs if America.
“If the university fails us, there will be no business as usual,” A/BSA told the university’s newspaper.
Chancellor George Blumenthal sat down at a negotiating table with 10 protesters at 4 p.m. Thursday.
Blumenthal declined to negotiate inside Kerr Hall because he had received threats and feared for his safety, protesters said.
…
University of California gives into demands of black student protest which consists of a 10-person sit-in:
What the FUCK did I just read? ::eats gun::
i really am getting sick of this “Feared for my safety” bullshit.
it simply grants power to the idiots who threaten stupid-behavior. Call their bluffs, MAKE them do it. Make them undermine themselves.
as for these black-student demands…. they seem to amount to “give us more money for our Africa-studies playpen, let us paint it whatever colors we want.
i don’t even understand their complaints about ‘all students’ being given housing in said playpen, while simultaneously demanding that beds be removed. the best i can tell is that they want to house all the black students under one roof, whether that is technically possible or not.
Well, that, and wasting every other student on campus’s time by making them take a white guilt seminar.
You know who else wanted all the black people in one place?
Strom Thurmond?
Can’t forget lBJ either.
that huy negotiates just like Obama !
not only do I agree to all of the demands of those 10 students who made me fear for my safety I’m gonna throw in 1.5 billion in cash, 5 people on the USA most dangerous terror list and a future draft choice terrorist to be named later.
10 people?
5) We also demand that curried goat be served to all students at least once a week.
I consider number five an improvement, especially over the vegan crap that a university in California probably serves.
Well, if we are going afro Caribbean themed demands, that is all I could come up with. I had curried goat in a shop in Jamaica. In hindsight, I would have rather gone hungry and just drank Red Stripe..
I hate the word “cuck” but I’d say it applies just fine to the administrators responsible for this decision. They’re all worthless and weak.
So what you’re saying is you’re not gonna take it anymore?
It’s been my experience that “Afrikans” and Caribbeans aren’t terribly invested in this nonsense they encounter when they arrive in America and/or need to be cajoled into being so.
I love it when people spell “Afrikans” that way, makes it easier to cull.
Aren’t they Afrikkkans?
everyone of them I’ve met just works 2 or 3 jobs while they save enough to open their own business.
And no one will understand why the UC system sees an uptick in student riots in the 2017-18 school year. Just an unfortunate coincidence, I guess.
I’d pancake Rachel Bloom. She needs to go on a Palestinian diet, forthwith!
Hmm, I was just trying to decide on a musakhan variant too.
I was more on the line of “Gaza Strip” diet but I see where you’re headed.
*searches musakhan*
Oh ya, I am down with that. I need to find some Sumac and work that into the recipe rotation.
Penzy’s should have some. We have a market that differentiates itself by having a massive international selection (bulgarian feta is the tits), and I ended up with way more than I’ll ever go through.
if you find a place they’ll probably have green za’atar as well (or you can make some as the sumac is the most exotic ingredient in it) and you can do a flatbread with a simple dough brushed with oil and sprinkled with za’atar and salt and baked until golden. I used to do something like this at parties.
I used to do something like this at parties.
I had this terrible fear it was going to be video of you drunk and dancing on the table in just your undies. Now I need serious brain bleach.
I’m touched that I hold such an evocative place in your imagination. Though while I’d drop trou on request, I did not dance.
It’s not you so much as it’s Glibertarians in general.
I’ve got your sumac.
I think Bill Nye should have followed that up with a segment on “why we cringe”.
Ice Cream Sexuality – Bill Nye Saves The World
From the comments: “Bill Nye in 1995: water vapors in cold tempatures can condense and form droplets on plants at night. Bill Nye in 2017: sexuality is all in your head so lets have an orgy.”
This is the 2nd best song that references Gerard Depardieu.
I’d just like to point out that I’ve hated Bill Nye for like 25 years. Is anything lamer than an adult who tries to make some subject fun for kids but instead just makes it dumbed-down and superficial?
Related: does anyone else remember the scourge of early 90s educational rap? …Come to think of it, there’s about a 90% chance that Bill Nye has done some terrible rapping about, I dunno, fucking recycling or some shit.
Also, while I would happily motorboat Rachel Bloom’s ass, holy fuck, is she ever not funny.
That totally wasn’t retarded.