One of the nice perks about being a staffer here at the Glibs is the travel perks. As the senior guy here and the most knowledgeable staffer regarding Judaism, I was selected to be our press representative accompanying the Trump clan and various hangers-on during their trip to Israel. It was pretty cool having the run of Air Force One and being able to lord it over those stupid goyim from places like the New York Times and CNN.

Because I’m someone who would end up being tackled, duct-taped, water-boarded, and tossed into a cell in Gitmo if I ever actually asked questions or spoke my mind, I decided that my coverage of this trip would be in the manner of a travelogue. And indeed, this has been an interesting tour, with barely a twinge to my ghost foreskin.

First, we’ve all been inundated with the Hand-slap Seen Round The Twitterverse.  The usual suspects have been analyzing that one to death and as usual, every last one of them got it wrong and missed the real story. Yes, you’ll hear it here first- Trump and Netanyahu have discovered The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name. And the hand-slap was not because Melania hates Trump or any of the other pseudo-psych explanations. No, it’s because Melania had other plans for her hands while the boys were busy on הר ברוקבק.  

Insert Burning Bush reference here.

But things weren’t all sexytimes. For one thing, the King of Real Estate decided to check out the Wailing Wall to see how it might look along the Rio Grande.

Trump had to be dissuaded about adding a parking lot behind. But this at least gave me a chance to meet and greet with the leaders.

Yes, that’s me on the left.

And because Yahweh loves us all and has upgraded us from Chelsea to Ivanka, I thought I’d share this tender moment with you.

Anyway, it was a fun trip and I’m back now, sitting in my office and preparing posts. Until next week, Khazak Khazak V’Nitkhazek. Or Mene Mene Tekel Upharshin, I can never remember which.

 

And bonus link- a delightful essay from 15 years ago, on this very topic, written by the great comedian Larry Miller.