ZARDOZ SUNDAY NIGHT LINKS

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ APPRECIATES YOU VISITING AT SHADY ACRES. ZARDOZ IS GETTING THERE, SLOWLY BUT SURELY. HAVE MADE A FRIEND – WORKS IN AN I.T. DEPARTMENT AND STRESS GOT TO HIM.

UNLIKE ZARDOZ, HE WAS NOT CONTENT HERE AND TRIED TO FLEE.

BUT HE HAS CALMED DOWN NOW, AND HAS EVEN HELPED ZARDOZ WITH HIS LAPTOP.

NOW ZARDOZ CAN PROVIDE LINKS FOR HIS CHOSEN ONES, DIRECTLY! ENJOY THE LINKS, AND THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.

  • ZARDOZ DOES NOT SEE A CATEGORY FOR STUFFED BRUTALS.
  • ANY LANDING YOU WALK AWAY FROM IS A GOOD ONE, RIGHT?
  • THIS IS NOT ONE OF ZARDOZ’S CHOSEN ONES.
  • MEMORIAL DAY NEEDS TO BE MORE REMEMBRANCE DAY?

 

Comments

254 responses to “ZARDOZ SUNDAY NIGHT LINKS”

  1. Playa Manhattan

    First.

    1. Agent Cooper

      or worst?

      Oh wait, I thought you were Nicole for a second.

      1. Q Continuum

        At least he’s not the nerd with the hairy chest.

        1. That would be me.

      2. RBS

        “or worst”

        Blurst.

        *fires monkeys*

        1. You fired monkeys TODAY?!

          May Harambe’s Ghost haunt you, out of simian solidarity.

          1. mr simple

            Meh, monkeys and apes never really get along.

          2. Chipwooder

            Ape shall not kill ape!

    2. JD

      Don’t you have to quote a link for it to count? Like the fine gentleman did below…

  2. Agent Cooper

    Thought experiment: You are born in Birmingham, Alabama in 1839. How enlightened are you?

    1. Which end of the whip are you on – the wielding end or the receiving end?

      1. Agent Cooper

        You are white but not a slaveholder.

        1. Is this a trick question about someone who was born white in Alabama in 1839 and went on to oppose slavery and invent the microwave?

          1. John Quincy Addingmachine

            Considering that the microwave oven was patented in 1937, that would be a pretty epic life story,

        2. Q Continuum

          Do I have enough money to buy a slave?

          1. Only if you pay in electrum.

          2. John Quincy Addingmachine

            How many slaves can you buy with an ounce of electrum?
            /Asking for a friend.

          3. Are they orphan monocle-polishing slaves?

          4. nw

            Assuming a 50/50 gold/silver mix on the electrum,
            the price of electrum is dominated by the price of gold.
            At todays spot prices, an ounce of 50/50 electrum
            would be $643.38.

            According to wikipedia, the price at the source for
            child slaves in Benin or Todo is $20-$70, and $350
            once transported to “wealthier oil-rich states, such as Nigeria and Gabon”
            .

            So for your basic orphan slave, it looks like perhaps 10-30
            per ounce at the source, and perhaps two per ounce
            at the destination.

            Taking the illegal trade in cocaine as a model,
            and prices from
            http://www.alternet.org/drugs/worlds-highest-lowest-cocaine-prices
            it seems that cocaine costs about $5/gram in coca-producing
            countries such as Peru, and variably more in destinatino
            countries. Apparently the most expensive cocaine is
            in Australia at $235/gram. The US is relatively cheaper at
            $62/gram.

            So 12-47 times as expensive at the illegal destination.
            Assuming the same ratio for orphan slaves,
            I’d say you could get between a fifth aof a slave
            and three slaves per ounce of electrum.

            I’m guessing the ratio would be toward the lower end
            due to increased difficulty and expense, and a spottier
            market.

            Let’s call it one slave per ounce though, just to have an answer.

            I note in passing that it might be worth it for Australians
            to visit the US on a “cocaine tourism” trip.

    2. Q Continuum

      Depends on how much I’ve drank that day.

    3. straffinrun

      Not much. I’m dead, right?

      1. Agent Cooper

        Let’s say it’s 1859.

        1. So, four years away from death on the Gettysburg battlefield?

        2. straffinrun

          Can we say Lysander Spooner is my dad?

          1. John Quincy Addingmachine

            Winner.

    4. So tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1839?

      1. Rum, cigars, salted beef and horseracing?

        1. Mint juleps?

        2. John Quincy Addingmachine

          Sounds like a party! I’m in.

  3. JD

    MEMORIAL DAY NEEDS TO BE MORE REMEMBRANCE DAY?

    Don’t forget to thank all the living veterans yet again!

    1. Rhywun

      I have never heard anyone burble “Happy Memorial Day!”

      veterans groups have long advocated a return to May 30

      Yeah, no.

      1. DenverJ

        Today I was an auto parts store, and the kid by the door was wishing everyone a “happy Memorial Day”. I found it surreal.

    2. LT_Fish

      It always gets a bit confusing between Veterans Day and Armistice Day and Memorial Day and Remembrance Day.

      Which is for living folks, which is for dead folks, which is for living folks who wish they were dead, etc, etc.

      I think there are red poppies for one of those, but I can’t recall which.

      Never yet been in a position to really participate in anything formal. Maybe in a few years. Should have done some wreath-laying when I was closer to D.C.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Poppies are for Remembrance Day – at least up here.

        1. LT_Fish

          I know…but for some reason I think of them in terms of Armistice Day too. When is Remembrance day? It doesn’t coincide with Memorial Day does it?

          1. dbleagle

            In the US Memorial Day is in memory of the dead and Veterans Day is for those who served in the armed forces.

            Remembrance Day is the same day as Veterans Day (11Nov) on the anniversary of the end of fighting in WWI and is like our Memorial Day. Our Memorial Day was originally Decoration Day and started after the Civil War and was the day to decorate the graves of our war dead.

            To confuse matters some states that once belonged to the CSA celebrate a separate Memorial Day for the Confederate war dead.

          2. LT_Fish

            Ok, so Remembrance Day does = Armistice Day (the original Veteran’s Day). End of WW1.

  4. Q Continuum

    Grilling brats tonight. Why you are all jealous of me.

    1. John Quincy Addingmachine

      Interrogating young children is the wurst.

      1. You just need to be frank with’em

  5. Q Continuum

    Given the new moral panic of “stealthing” and breathless calls for it to be labeled rape, what does a female lying about being on birth control equate to?

    http://nypost.com/2017/05/27/hamptons-bachelors-are-getting-vasectomies-so-golddiggers-cant-trap-them/amp/

    1. Rhywun

      It’s tough out there being a rich playboy.

      1. Q Continuum

        No kidding. Being a Glib, I couldn’t care less what these guys do in their personal lives, but some part of me is saying “If you have to worry this much about women trapping you into fatherhood maybe you should consider 1. the quality of the people (and women) you’re hanging out with and 2. being less of a man-whore.” But then again, I’ve never been pulling down half a million dollars with a place in the Hamptons so maybe I’d be just as reprehensible as they apparently are.

    2. Thank you, Oregon Man.

    3. Akira

      “what does a female lying about being on birth control equate to?”

      Or what about paternity fraud?

    4. Women lie about everything else; why wouldn’t they lie about being on birth control?

      (This is why there are no female libertarians….)

  6. Juvenile Bluster

    THIS IS NOT ONE OF ZARDOZ’S CHOSEN ONES.

    I’ve been busy all day and barely on the computer, and that’s already enough internet for me today.

    1. Q Continuum

      “A genderless alien”

      Oh FFS. Whatever. Knock yourself out buddy. A psychiatrist is a helluva lot cheaper than $60 grand worth of surgery, but different strokes I guess.

      1. Rhywun

        I love how he’s surrounded by people encouraging this. WTF.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      The poor guy needs a shrink and some tender loving medication, not encouragement.

      1. RBS

        Fuck it, let him do it. Science.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Maybe he should try a dolphinoplasty.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            They nailed that one didn’t they?

          2. The Elite Elite

            Definitely one of their better episodes.

          3. Agent Cooper

            I was expecting SeaQuest DSV.

          4. Rick C-137

            An underrated show for sure

          5. Gustave Lytton

            Jonathan Brandis’ best work.

    3. Suthenboy

      *Looks into crystal ball*

      It’s a little blurry. I cant tell if he OD’s or hangs himself. Maybe both?

      1. PapayaSF

        Don’t forget the popular option: murdered by another nut with gender issues.

        1. If they’ve got gender issues, I don’t think they’ve got nuts any more.

          1. *narrows gaze*

            You are wearing me out.

    1. straffinrun

      Not much into board games, but this Florida version of Clue sounds fun.

      1. Prof. Plum did it in the conservatory with Col. Mustard.

        1. straffinrun

          Is that how the Col. got his name?

        2. Playa Manhattan

          conservatory = laundromat?

  7. Mythical Libertarian Woman

    New book deal announced at Publishers Marketplace today:

    Sci-Fi/Fantasy
    Granta 2017 Best Young American Novelist Mark Doten’s TRUMP SKY ALPHA, in which, in the aftermath of a nuclear war launched by Donald Trump from a fleet of Trump-branded commercial airships, a grieving journalist attempts to infiltrate a mysterious hacktivist collective called “The Aviary” that she believes orchestrated the global conflict, to Fiona McCrae and Steve Woodward at Graywolf, by Bill Clegg at The Clegg Agency (NA).

    1. Q Continuum

      If the protagonist isn’t a genderless alien, NO DEAL.

    2. BakedPenguin

      The left is seemingly determined to make parody impossible.

      1. Suthenboy

        What? They accomplished that during the campaign.

    3. RBS

      JFC

    4. A lot of the literary agent Twitter feeds are filled with TDS posts.

      Do they even care about the reading tastes of half the country?

      1. Q Continuum

        I sense an untapped self-publishing market…

        1. PapayaSF

          Baen Books and Castalia House are on it.

        2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

          The author of this book originally tried to traditionally publish it, but was told by agents that it was too unrealistic. I can guarantee you that if she’d queried it now, it would have sold in half a minute.

          1. Rhywun

            It doesn’t sound any more ridiculous than The Handmaid’s Tale.

          2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

            A slightly new flavor of hysteria for today’s modern audience!

        3. wchipperdove

          Question: if she’s a lesbian author, is her ‘market’ still ‘untapped’?

          1. Sigh…

            *narrows gaze*

    5. I thought Trump was in cahoots with Putin. Why would they start a nuclear war with each other?

      1. PapayaSF

        Because shut up, you Russian stooge!!!

    6. John Titor

      You know, at least when, say, 80s science fiction and comic book writers were freaking out about Margaret Thatcher or Reagan they had the decency to do it somewhat subtly. Now it’s just goddamn lazy.

      1. LT_Fish

        Warren Ellis (and Alan Moore too IIRC) kept it up for about another 20 years afterwards (ie. Planetary, etc).

      2. wchipperdove

        Moore predicted street corner video cameras in ‘V For Vendetta’ BEFORE it was a reality.

    7. Agent Cooper

      MSFGA!!!!!!!

    8. PapayaSF

      “Aided by an underground group of transgendered Muslim freedom fighters….” Come on, folks, let’s add to the plot!

    9. Pan Zagloba

      That’s a parody! Come on, nukes on commercial airships?

      Or, I guess, someone rebranded their Fringe fanfic for a quick buck. If so, I can respect that.

  8. __Warren__

    So they don’t know if the Sea Vixen is damaged? It was on fire and landed on i’s belly, so I’m gonna go with “yes”. But I’m not a Top. Man.

    1. Q Continuum

      How many Sea Studs has she been with at one time? That’s how you know.

      1. *narrows gaze*

    2. LT_Fish

      Well, the record for that model of plane didn’t read as being particularly noteworthy.

      However the jet fighter – powered by a pair of Rolls-Royce Avon 208 engines – did not take part in any true wars, and suffered from a number of technical faults.

      Of the 145 Vixens constructed, 54 of them were lost in accidents, including burst tyre, canopy shattering and engine problems.

      In one case a Vixen inadvertently released a practice bomb while serving on the HMS Eagle near the island of Gan in the Indian Ocean.

      A prototype of the fighter jet was infamously involved in the 1952 Farnborough Airshow disaster in 1952, which left a pilot and 29 spectators dead.

      As the aircraft attempted a climb following a low-level fly-by of the show’s 120,000 spectators, one of the wings broke off, followed by both the engines and the cockpit.

      It was the last time that British spectators died at an airshow before 11 people were killed in the Shoreham disaster in 2015.

      The last model in use, the G-CVIX XP924, is now based at Royal Naval Air Station in Yeovilton and had crashed on at least two separate occasions.

      Might be a reason I hadn’t seen too much of it.

      1. __Warren__

        I refuse to go to airshows.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        As the aircraft attempted a climb following a low-level fly-by of the show’s 120,000 spectators, one of the wings broke off, followed by both the engines and the cockpit.

        That’s actually impressive. I’ve never heard of the cockpit falling off a plane before.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Beautiful looking aircraft and a great name. Always love those twin boom designs.

  9. AlmightyJB

    Just watched Amy on Amazon. The story of Amy Winehouse. I’ve been in love with her voice since the second I first heard it. What a waste.

    1. AlmightyJB

      It’s amazing to hear her songs in the context of her life.

    2. She died doing what she loved.

      1. __Warren__

        Choking on her own vomit?

        1. I thought she died of a heroin overdose.

          1. __Warren__

            Nope, alcohol.

          2. __Warren__

            A coroner’s inquest reached a verdict of misadventure. The report released on 26 October 2011 explained that Winehouse’s blood alcohol content was 416 mg per 100 ml (0.416%) at the time of her death, more than five times the legal drink-drive limit.[258] According to the coroner, “The unintended consequences of such potentially fatal levels was her sudden death.”[291]

          3. AlmightyJB

            It was really a combination being bulimic from an early age with a lifetime of drugs and alcohol. She could drink a lot of guys under the table, but when you do that over and over while being bulimic your heart will eventually stop and that is what happened. It’s amazing she last as long as she did.

          4. Apparently she loved drinking, too.

          5. Playa Manhattan

            It was more than just drinking guys under the table. Have you seen the video of her snorting molly and smoking crack? Insane.

          6. AlmightyJB

            She was actually looking much better after she quite crack and heroin but she couldn’t give up the drinking and it was what ended up finished her off.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Dying?

    3. BakedPenguin

      I listened to her first album and was blown away by her talent. Incredible pipes.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, I bought her cd within days after hearing her on the radio and that is rare for me. One of a kind voice.

  10. Suthenboy

    How about we cut down on the number of holidays so the ones left will have more meaning. Lets start by killing international pinko day made a holiday by president totallynotacommie. Kill it with fire.

    1. president totallynotacommie

      Is that you, Mike M?

      1. Suthenboy

        I get irrational when I think about that. I get so angry I can hardly see, so yeah, I foam at the mouth and say stupid shit. It’s cathartic.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Fuck that, I love Confederate Memorial Day and that’ll be the first to go.

      1. They lost, get over it. We don’t have a Sioux Memorial Day either.

        *glares balefully*

      2. RBS

        Our state government still recognizes Confederate Memorial day. It throws me off every year when the clerk of court is closed in the middle of the week.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          SC right? It was a quid pro quo for getting Martin Luthor King Day I think.

    3. JD

      We can keep the drinking holidays like St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de Mayo, right?

      1. AlmightyJB

        As long as they land on a day ending in day then they’re including in the drinking Pantheon.

      2. Damn straight!

      3. Stinky Wizzleteats

        All holidays are good for drinking along with all nonholidays.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I only​ l drink on my birthday, and on everyone else’s birthday.

      4. Suthenboy

        We could make May 1 ‘Toast the fall of the wall’ day. Add another drinking day.

        1. That ought to be what 9 November is for, but that’s also Kristallnacht.

          1. John Quincy Addingmachine

            Drunks with sledgehammers! But they hate concrete, not glass. Or Jews.

          2. AlmightyJB

            But everyday Trump is President is Kristallnacht.

        2. Lachowsky

          I like the idea of June 4th, victory at midway day being a holiday. Plus that’s my birthday.

          1. Suthenboy

            I was trying to cock-block the commies for May 1

    4. The Elite Elite

      No! I like getting paid overtime for a normal workday. More holidays!

      1. We have the day off as a paid holiday, but management has gotten us so far behind they wanted us to come in and work on Saturday and/or Monday. But they wouldn’t pay us overtime until we actually worked more than 40 hours in the week. Fuck that shit. And I actually worked three hours of overtime on Friday just so I could have a three-day weekend without them trying to guilt me.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Do they get a lot more work done when you’re not around?

          1. Ouch – man, that is cold!

    5. wchipperdove

      How about we improve the nation’s productivity by getting rid of these weekday holidays that shut down the fucking banks and post office?

    1. Suthenboy

      In fairness who could have seen that coming?

    2. Rhywun

      I wish the college bubble would burst already.

  11. Ken Shultz

    “American Gods” must have been a much better book than a TV series. So far, Shadow is just acting like . . . no one would. He consistently acts in ways that . . . break suspension of disbelief. And he continues to do so over the first few episodes.

    SPOILER ALERT!

    It does have one weird ass thing going for it in the first episode–the best case of abjection I’ve seen . . . maybe since the first “Alien” movie.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abjection

    Much of the horror (for guys anyway) of the original Alien is from abjection–seeing the male body turned into a female body. It’s a feminist movie throughout, with . . . let’s not get distracted. Anyway, the male body is raped, impregnated, and then gives birth–it’s seeing yourself othered yet remaining yourself.

    In “American Gods”, it has a scene where . . . how do I put this mildly? A women having sex with a guy swallows him whole–with her vagina. He becomes a part of her otherness by being swallowed whole–yes!–by her vagina.

    I find Odin to be about the most fascinating character in human religion. There isn’t another character like him anywhere. Lord Krishna is a distant, distant second. You’d have to really screw it up to make me not interested in a story that starts and centers on Odin.

    But there it is. Thumbs down.

    Not that there’s anything else on right now ‘cept “Handmaiden’s Tale”.

    1. I’ll watch something off my DVR.

      This morning I watched Laughing Sinners, with Clark Gable as a Salvation Army officer (!) saving Joan Crawford (!) Commissioner Gordon (er, Neil Hamilton) plays an absolute creep. It’s not particularly good, but the casting makes it fascinating. Oh, and Joan Crawford dances (for some values of dancing) too, which is always interesting.

    2. PapayaSF

      Check out Pluto.tv, which is free and has a number of interesting channels, including a Mystery Science Theater 3000 channel and a RiffTrax channel.

    3. Suthenboy

      Keeping my fingers crossed. No tv…there is one hell of a storm front coming. My phone keeps dinging me with tornado warnings. I will pour another gin and watch the show outside. It isnt here yet but my dog is freaking out, she knows its coming.

      1. I have a Barometer Hound too. 2 hours before anything…*pantpantpant, pacepacepace*

        Hope you made it OK.

    4. Rhywun

      I read the book but have no memory of it whatsoever. I guess that’s a thumbs-down.

      1. Same here. all I remember was wondering how this Neil Gaiman dude gets so much adoration.

      2. robc

        Same. I remember being met about it. I thought Dirk Gently did it better.

        1. robc

          Meh

          1. Mome Rath

            I wondered if I was the only one. Same thing, I remember reading it but remember nothing of the content except that it got really silly toward the end. The series is ringing no bells at all, which is kind of weird. And despite Ian McShane, Peter Stormare, and Emily Browning, so far it is just terrible.

        2. Pan Zagloba

          Please be fair to Gaiman, he also ripped off Pratchett’s Small Gods into the bargain.

          And unlike those hacks Pratchett and Adams, he made sure to target American mid-brow market that was already primed by Sandman, in the process making sure to make a disposable book that will have no resonance a hundred years from now, but will make tons of money.

  12. Rick C-137

    https://milo.yiannopoulos.net/2017/05/shia-labeouf-bartender-suit/

    Shia back in the news after /pol/ drove him mad

    1. The Zenome Project

      Shia and 4chan are made for each other. I hope he stays permanently unhinged.

    2. wchipperdove

      His alternate-universe nemesis is Sunni LeBeouf.

      1. Rick C-137

        -1 Mecca

      2. *throws rotten vegetables and boos*

    3. Gilmore

      He would later blame the incident on lots of whiskey.

      i’m no lawyer, but i have suspicions that this is not actually a valid legal defense.

  13. Hyperion

    I hate squirrels. The only good skurl is a DEAD ONE!

    1. Akira

      I’ve had a burning hatred of those bushy-tailed bastards after they ate every single Roma tomato off my plants just after they started turning red. This happened two summers in a row. Sometimes I’d sit up in the window and fire 5/8″ steel pellets at them with a slingshot, but I only managed to kill one. Eventually, I just gave up on growing tomatoes without some kind of chickenwire cage, which I am not willing to put out the money and effort for.

      This year, I’m growing collard greens instead, and they don’t seem to be interested in them at all… But I swear, if I start finding those leaves torn up on the ground, I WILL drop $100 on a gas-powered Crosman rifle and start sniping those fuckers.

      1. Lachowsky

        I have been shooting squirrels out of my fruit and nut trees for years without making any headway. I have probably killed 100 over the past few years.

        For your tomatoes, I would suggest a terrier of some sort. It won’t keep them out of your trees, but it will chase them out of your garden.

        1. Akira

          “I would suggest a terrier of some sort. It won’t keep them out of your trees, but it will chase them out of your garden.”

          Unfortunately, I’m allergic to dogs and also too lazy to properly take care of one.

        2. Suthenboy

          “I have been shooting squirrels out of my fruit and nut trees for years without making any headway. ”

          I shot 76 out of my pear trees one season. The little bastards bore a hole in the pears, eat the seeds and then toss the fruit on the ground. 76 in one season. I never got a pear and at the end of it I couldn’t tell any difference in the squirrel population.

          It’s a lost cause.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Have you tried training falcons?

          2. Suthenboy

            That is an interesting idea….

          3. __Warren__

            Given their small size and how they’re built I don’t think falcons can handle a rifle.

          4. peachy rex

            I dunno, they can probably handle something pissant like .223.

          5. *standing ovation*

          6. Lachowsky

            I have a large pear tree in my back yard. Right now the pears are about half dollar sized and there are hundreds of them. By the time they are ripe, I may end up with a few five gallon buckets of them.

          7. Lachowsky

            That’s an idea. Can you make the juice before they ripen and are savaged by the squirrels.

          8. one true athena

            omg we had an apricot tree (beautiful productive tree, twenty feet tall probably) when I was growing up. The birds would poke one hole in each slightly yellow apricot, enough for ants and rot to set in, and NOT TOUCH THE REST. We tried putting aluminum foil streamers on the tree, all sorts of crazy things, and finally gave up. Off a tree that produced hundreds, we got maybe a few handfuls. I have no idea how orchards do it, but we never figured it out.

    2. Juvenile Bluster
      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Oh, I see. Us peons aren’t allowed to post inline images. This is a travesty of a sham of a mockery. It’s a traveshamockery!

        Here, you fascists. It’s a link now

  14. AlmightyJB

    Sure they each had punch coming but you gotta be careful when meting out punishment. Heads can be fragile.

    http://www.google.com/amp/www.nydailynews.com/amp/new-york/nyc-crime/man-turns-beating-2-men-catcalled-girlfriend-article-1.3188375

    1. straffinrun

      Two losers drinking outside a dept store catcall your gal. Beat the hell out of them is not ok.

      1. AlmightyJB

        I would at most tell them to FO.

        1. straffinrun

          That’s about right. If you’re going to resort to violence, you should ask yourself, “Would I do this if the dudes were bigger or stronger than me?”. The 18 y/o sounds like a total pussy.

      2. Rhywun

        At least the girlfriend gets the benefit of finding out – if she didn’t know already – that her man has “anger management issues”.

    2. Akira

      This reminds me of a question that I’ve wanted to ask the Glibertarian tribe for a while, at least since our great exodus from the Land of Orange:

      Keeping the non-aggression principle in mind, is there any verbal statement someone could make to you that would justify physically attacking them? Catcalling your girlfriend (or boyfriend)? Making lewd and lascivious insults about your mother? Saying something to your kids? Making racist insults towards you?

      I know that credible threats of physical violence could justify attacking someone first, but what about just insults and taunts? And I’m not talking about something that would cause you to attack them; we’re all human beings who may sometimes lash out in anger when it’s not justified. I’m talking about words coming out of their mouth that would make it morally acceptable for you to rearrange their face.

      1. Rhywun

        No, because words aren’t violence.

      2. AlmightyJB

        There are things I would not let go. But I would certainly use my words first. They can then choose to either de-escalate or escalate. If it’s the latter, I’m not necessary going to give them a free punch.

        1. AlmightyJB

          My retort would obviously depend on the situation, but whatever it would be would give the other party a clear decision to make.

      3. Lachowsky

        A credible threat is the only thing I can think of that would justify preemptive violence. Otherwise words are just words.

        1. Rhywun

          Yes. Any other interpretation just gives ammunition to the SJW “words are violence” crowd. We don’t want to be part of that crowd.

          1. AlmightyJB

            As stated, I would use my words first but I would take no issue with someone clocking somebody who was standing in front of them verbally degrading their wife or kids. Nor would I consider it a violation of NAP. That’s a huge difference from someone tweeting some generic non-pc whatever.

          2. Lachowsky

            I guess if someone was standing in front of me verbally abusing my wife or kids and I had already exhaustively told them to quit, I would probably resort to violence. It would still be a violation of the NAP though.

          3. AlmightyJB

            They’re the aggressor, not you, so I will respectively disagree. Bullies need to be dealt with.

      4. Suthenboy

        No. I assure you if there were such words I have already heard them. I did not attack the speaker. It passed. On reflection I can tell you that attacking them would have been morally wrong and dispassionate reflection tells me it would have been a weight on my conscience forever.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Yeah, I personally always look to avoid stupid people, stupid places, and stupid situations thereby reducing the risk of ever having to deal with those types of problems in the first place. Who wants to go to jail just because someone else is an ahole.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Merkel is really starting to make me thirsty.

      1. Rhywun

        She is a piece of work. I can’t imagine how bad the SPD and other left leadership is for her to be projected to sail thru election to another term.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          She truly is. Man, I’m starting to hate her as much as that wreathed witchy woman Hillary.

          1. Rhywun

            All this “refugee” nonsense has completely overshadowed anything else she might be about. I know the CDU/CSU are at best “center right” but at least historically they were more or less into “freedom”. No idea if she has anything going for her.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            There’s something ‘off’ about her. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

          3. Suthenboy

            A childless commie useless idiot born, raised and indoctrinated in East Germany? That crosses my mind.

          4. Gustave Lytton

            I just came back from the grocery store and there was some twenty year old little shit walking out, wearing a t-shirt with a red hammer & sickle like any other corporate logo over the left breast.

          5. BakedPenguin

            Gustave, listen to more Ramones.

            I want that t-shirt…

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Perfidious Albion isn’t exactly a new concept.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Always learning something new here.

  15. straffinrun

    Denied the morning special because it was 10:03. Ends at 10. Denny’s, you cheapos.

    1. AlmightyJB

      If they give it to you, the cooks have to go get the breakfast stuff out that they just put away. You don’t want to piss off the cooks.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        It’s Denny’s. They have breakfast 24/7!

      2. straffinrun

        Boiled egg, toast and coffee. I don’t really care. I did beat the hell out of the waitress and cook just for good measure.

        1. straffinrun

          235¥ for the morning special. 500¥ just for coffee 3 minutes later.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Did you waitress apologize and repeat “It is not possible to order the special” or some similarly absolute term the way one says water is wet or the sky is blue? The Japanese make the Germans looks like lackadaisical rule followers by comparison.

    2. LT_Fish

      + 1 D-FENS

  16. __Warren__

    Youngest kid brought home a load of jalapeno poppers and fries.

    They’re all gone now.

    I may have killed myself.

    1. Pomp

      The Juggalo Salad?

      1. *frantically tries not to choke on bottle of porter while laughing maniacally*

  17. wchipperdove

    Currently drinking Seagram’s Extra Smooth Vodka, chased with a mix of lemonade and 7-Up. Listening to Steely Dan on Youtube.
    Anybody else still ‘enjoying’ the weekend?

    1. Lachowsky

      If only… I’m at work. On a Sunday night, on memorial weekend. sigh.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I’ve spent way too much time here this weekend. Need to cut that out.

    3. egould310

      Drinking some cosmos, watching some foreign movie (foriegn film Sunday!), buffalo wild wings are on delivery. Happy Sunday y’all! Cheers!

    4. I am getting drunker and more maudlin by the hour. I do no care for Memorial Day.

      (yes, I said “no” instead of “not”).

      1. Pomp

        Props to all dead homies.

  18. straffinrun

    Was going to submit a piece I wrote on immigration and integration, but changed my mind (a little to contentious). So, I’ll just give a synopsis.
    Government subsidies to immigrants virtually guarantees that ill feelings towards the immigrant group by a large segment of the host country’s population will erupt at some point in the future. By removing or greatly reducing free market and social pressure on the immigrant to provide value to the host country’s economy means you’ll create a permanent underclass of resentful immigrants. Add in extremely difficult language barriers, and you’ve got a disaster in the making.
    The “Identitarians” would use government force to stop immigration based on ethnicity or race or whatever. It’s an answer to the problem, but it reduces humans to single factors of identity which is collectivist in and of itself. Taking in millions of immigrants based on those same factors is equally collectivist. So how do you solve the problem if governments (looking at you Western Europe) don’t show the willingness to allow the free market to do its magic?

    1. Akira

      I see where you’re coming from. Like any subsidy, it distorts the incentives. People always bring up the fact that early 1900s immigration of Italians, Chinese, Jews, and Irish ended up working out just fine. But they ignore one fundamental fact: back then, these immigrants weren’t expecting handouts. They were HOPING for a job where, if they busted ass from sunup to sundown, they might have a better living than they could have had in their home country, and possibly even start their own business and get rich.

      When you offer generous welfare programs, you get a very different class of immigrants. The immigration debate shouldn’t be about race; it should be about moochers vs. people who want to work hard and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

      1. straffinrun

        If I hadn’t gone through the experience of adapting to a completely alien culture without government assistance, I may have agreed with the people who say, “We need to give them funds to ease the transition!”. Bullshit. I had to learn the language and cultural norms because I DIDN’T get government assistance. They’ve got it ass backwards and don’t know what they’re talking about.

      2. Gilmore

        The immigration debate shouldn’t be about race; it should be about moochers vs. people who want to work hard and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

        This is why polling has tended to show low degrees of sympathy for “refugees” in america, while the term “immigrants” tends to be treated more favorably.

        I think this is an aspect of the current immigration debate which has been quashed by media, and they’ve effectively conflated multiple ideas into one big fake one = that all immigrants are the same.

        I also think, like Razorfist, that a large chunk of the immigrants who come from Latin America across the southern border are not technically immigrants = they’re refugees, fleeing violence and corruption.

        If we were more honest about distinguishing between, say, a hardworking Pakistani engineer who works 80 hours a week, and an El Salvadoran mother+children who is seeking shelter and handouts… i think our policy would be more nuanced. Instead, the bone-stupid media wants to pretend its all the same thing.

        1. AlmightyJB

          “they’re refugees, fleeing violence and corruption”

          A lot of that fueled by gangs thriving due to our drug prohibition.

      3. Gustave Lytton

        They were HOPING for a job where, if they busted ass from sunup to sundown, they might have a better living than they could have had in their home country, and possibly even start their own business and get rich.

        Even more so, that their children could have a better living. Which means they needed to bust their ass in school or working to get there too.

    2. Lachowsky

      “So how do you solve the problem if governments (looking at you Western Europe) don’t show the willingness to allow the free market to do its magic?”

      I really think that Europe’s immigrant problem is going to end badly. Either the Natives are going to bow to the will of the immigrants and accept some sort of Muslim rule or the natives are going to get fed up with the terrorism and crime of the migrants and forcibly evict the migrants.

      This could probably be avoided if the gov would kill the welfare incentives for 3rd worlders to show up and not participate in the economy and assimilate, but I doubt this will happen.

      1. straffinrun

        That’s why the new nationalists like the identitarians are going to grow. The current system is unsustainable and yet the political class insists that it continue. People are going to turn to the people who are offering a solution, no matter how bad that solution is. The far “right” isn’t worse than the Merkels of the world. Trading one problem for another.

      2. AlmightyJB

        ‘incentives for 3rd worlders to show up and not participate in the economy and assimilate’

        I think the big problem for Europe is that their regulations and patronage systems makes it hard for the immigrants that want to work to get jobs. The whole thing is set up to fail. At least here people can get jobs if they want to work. Our immigration system should be giving priority to people with skills we need, preferably those with employment already set up.

  19. F. Stupidity Jr.

    Troy Aikman, thanks to OMG RINGZZZ is quite an overrated QB in NFL history, but no matter what you think of the guy, you can’t help but admire this sort of competitive cantankerousness.

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      As fun as that rant was, it takes more than a sideline rant to win in pro sports. Only don’t tell this guy in the comments:

      To some Cowboys fans who still thinks that Romo could have won a championship with the Cowboys – f’n LISTEN to Aikman at 3:00-3:15 and 4:27-4:53. LISTEN TO HIM. And the second clip is Aikman AFTER he had already won three Super Bowls!! You show me ONE TIME where Romo EVER had that kind of intensity and drive in a game to the point of talking to his players with that kind of anger.

      LISTEN TO HIM.

  20. Lachowsky

    The Razorbacks lost to LSU in the sec baseball tournament this afternoon 4-2. Damn it, we almost had them. Left bases loaded in the bottom the ninth.

    On the plus side, Fayetteville is hosting a NCAA regional this weekend. I will be there. Should be a lot of fun.

  21. Gilmore

    So far Vinny has had three surgeries and 110 procedures to achieve his current look, including two rhinoplasties and 35 body and face laser treatments.

    the only thing that intrigues me is how this was all paid for

    as far as the ‘alien’ goes, i’m betting it never reaches 35

    1. AlmightyJB

      At 35 it could run for President.

      1. Bite your tongue!

  22. Juvenile Bluster

    Your Sunday Night nut punch!

    Florida cop. 30 year career, 3 departments. Never fired. Beat all three of his wives (including one who “committed suicide”), and sexually assaulted two women, one of whom was blind.

    1. AlmightyJB

      What a POS

    2. Lachowsky

      Beginning in 1983, Hoeffer has been accused of abusing his three wives, including the first who killed herself, propositioning and groping women (fondling one woman while she was detained), and sexually assaulting two women, including one who is blind—twice.
      Through it all, Hoeffer remained a police officer, jumping from one department to the next until he recently retired

      This is one of the main reasons that I can’t fucking stand police. I always hear that there are good officers and bad ones. I call bullshit on that. If good officers allow one like this to work with them, then they are no longer good officers. The “blue line” bullshit where cops all circle wagons to protect the sleaziest of dirtballs makes me want ot puke. There was a duck meted history of this guy being unsuitable to pull mall security, yet as always, nothing was done. He was allowed to keep his job and continue to be an abusive asshole.

      1. Akira

        There were officers at the prison who had been fired from police departments in the past. The profession is uniquely attractive to control-freak, abusive sociopaths.

        I know we libertarians are not big on government solutions, but I really think there needs to be some kind of no-hire list to ensure that abusive officers never again hold a job in the field of law enforcement or corrections in the United States.

        Sure, it does a fat lot of good when officers are never convicted of any wrongdoing even when they shoot someone in the back who is running away… But it could be part of a multi-pronged strategy to get cops under control.

        Giving the ax to public sector unions would be another important point.

  23. commodious spittoon

    There’s a mattress ad that pops up on Hulu all the time, and this Chinese guy welcomes some white dude. I swore he was calling him “Mr. Blade.” Just realized white dude is Tom Brady. Be more Chinesey!

    1. “You bang supermodel on this mattress?”

  24. Juvenile Bluster

    Your Second Sunday Night Nut Punch!

    Searching for car theft suspect, K9 officer sics his dog on air conditioner repairman without warning (the officer says he gave a warning, every neutral observer says he didn’t). Dog tears an artery in man’s leg; man somehow survives (no thanks to any help from officer), ends up in the ICU for a while and is still recovering.

    Department “apologizes”, but says officer followed procedure. Officer doesn’t even get a paid vacation out of it, is still working.

    1. Lachowsky

      “officer followed procedure”

      Our procedure is to sic a vicious dog on you. See, it says right here in the manual. So sorry, nothing we can do about it. Hope you survive.

    2. The dog alerted him, of course.

  25. JD

    I tried to social tonight but came home to read you people instead.

    1. commodious spittoon

      At least you tried, and trying is half the battle.

      1. __Warren__

        The more you know!

      2. Brochettaward

        I’m going to have to disagree with my esteemed Scottish friend here. This:

        I tried

        This right here was your mistake.

    1. commodious spittoon

      I’m going to need some context.

      1. Heroic Mulatto
    2. Chafed

      WTF was that? Are they at a felatio class?

  26. Gustave Lytton

    Bullet discharges, strikes man in face.

    http://kval.com/news/local/police-bullet-hits-man-in-face-without-firing-from-a-gun

    I’m gonna call BS and say the victim knows the assailant but doesn’t want to say who it was or details of the gun used. No way could they have held onto the casing as it fired.

    1. Either that, or a cop fired.

    2. Suthenboy

      I am gonna need more details here.

      You can get a 22 rimfire to fire by hitting it hard enough but it seems that would be very difficult to do while holding it in your hand.
      I have done this before (when I was young and stupid): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4FQgrU2fYk

      I have also shot the primers on shotgun shells with bb guns and 22s. It doesnt do much. The powder is not confined so not much of it burns and since the shot is heavier than the case it is the case that takes off, not the shot. Fortunately in both cases nothing really moves very fast. Dumbass probably just got a scratch or cut on his face from the case or case fragments.

  27. Where muh links?