Regular readers of this feature will remember the feature a few weeks ago on the Counting of the Omer. To recap, this is a ceremony which ensured that the Temple Priests would get edible pelf (in the form of barley) daily for seven weeks following Passover. And when we get to the end of the seven weeks… Shavuos, which translates to “sevens.” And like sevens in craps, it means a boatload more pelf for the priests, since it marks the wheat harvest, and the priests now start getting wheat and wheat products (bread, not the dreaded matzoh).
I can’t help but notice that the priests set up the holidays and make the rules for them. It is shocking that the holidays seem like they all benefit the people who made the rules. And it somehow seems familiar, at least for those of us who follow what Congress does. It is good to be a priest.
In any case, like many other holidays, Shavous has, in the manner of Velcro in a lint pile, picked up a boatload of unrelated accretions: besides the marking of the beginning of the wheat harvest season, it has somehow acquired the meaning of King David’s birthday and day of his death; how coincidental! It also is supposedly the day that Israel was handed the Torah, and transformed from a newly-freed tribe with vague monotheism to full-on Yahwist. And if that weren’t enough, it is also supposedly the Yorzeit day (anniversary of the death) for the Baal Shem Tov, a Polack who founded Hassidic Judaism, which teaches that one becomes closer to Yahweh by dressing and living like an 18th century Polish peasant.
Traditionally in Ashkenazi (Eastern European) Judaism, there are five customary things to do for the holiday:
- Akdamut, an Aramaic poem written by a Kraut
- Chalav, pigging out (wait, am I allowed to say “pig”?) on dairy products, especially cheeses
- Ruth, the reading of, you guessed it, the Book of Ruth
- Yerek, putting up ferns and potted plants everywhere around the house
- Torah, doing an all-night Torah cram session
Three out of the five seem dreary to me (I’m not much on decorating). The all-night Torah thing could be fun if there were alcohol and weapons involved, but no such luck. The reading of the Book of Ruth actually is pretty cool, though. Ruth is really a wonderful story of love, family, and loyalty, peopled with delightful and noble characters, unlike the assholes who seem to dominate the rest of the Bible. But the real fun is the chalav, mostly because I love cheese and have the stomach to prove it. Interestingly, the chalav custom is turned on its head by Yemeni Jews, who actually avoid dairy products on Shavuos.
Putting aside the Yemenis, when Shavuos and cheese are mentioned, most Jews who lean more toward Ashkenazi (I’m half, with the other have being Mizrahi) think “blintzes.” As they should because blintzes are fucking awesome. Most blintzes that you goyim ever eat are remarkably shitty, either frozen food service items served at shitty chain restaurants, frozen low-bid blintzes bought from the freezer case at Walmart, or served at a deli run by beaners, and also likely to be low-bid frozen.
There’s no excuse for this- so much Jew food is just plain shitty that ruining one of the rare great dishes is a shonda. And as much as it embarrasses me to say this, a really good basic how-to to make great blintzes is provided by a wop, the great Chef John of Food Wishes. Well, let’s be honest, Italian cuisine is so much superior to Jew food that it’s not suprising that someone of Italian ancestry can make our food better than we can. And we’re Americans here, cultural and culinary appropriation is what we’re all about.
In any case, it’s a basic crepe batter (I use something similar, stolen directly from Julia Child) with a cheese filling:
Now, let me add some notes to this, some of which Good Chef John was too polite to mention.
First, some people use cottage cheese for the filling. Don’t be like those people. Cottage cheese is coagulated pus. John uses a mix of ricotta and mascarpone, which works well. But even better, and certainly more authentic, is farmer’s cheese, which is a dry-ish ricotta. A really excellent alternative is requeson, which is available at finer Mexican deli counters.
Second, this is a sweet version, but there’s no reason that blintzes can’t be savory. I’ve used ricotta and Parmesan (thus bringing them one step closer to manicotti), chevre for a tangy French touch, requeson and cotija to do them Mexican style… basically, you can get any palette of flavors you like, the key is the process of wrapping, sauteing, then baking. If you go savory, adjust the crepes as well! And they can be topped with sauces appropriate to the cuisine you’re appropriating.
I have not tried this with paneer and coconut chutney, but hey, it could work.
Now, I’m off to go read Ruth.
Comments
152 responses to “Jewsday Tuesday: Shavuos Edition”
I would have serious difficulty keeping these rules in order…
How much would converting to Judaism help my career? These posts have convinced me its more interesting than Mormonism.
Are you an accountant?
Lawyer.
Not likely. Jews are pretty much absent from the legal profession and comedy.
Oy veh!
Yet the stereotype persists, and I’m looking toward the transactional side of things. I figure it will market better than being a WASPy guy in a suit.
+1 Saul Goodman.
Exactly!
Christ you’re already (((honorary))) then.
How many fucking lawyers are in this place?
I think there’s an infestation.
Possibly more lawyers than computer guys, but computer folks are also over-represented here.
Full disclosure: I’ve got ~8 years in engineering as well, so I might count double.
Dang I only fit (((two)))
And ex-military.
I fit two categories!
I fit three!
I mean, that’s really a question that answers itself. Who else would actually take time to read Locke or Bastiat?
Aspies
A distinction without difference some might say…
But not someone with a predeliction for patterns and categories…
That depends on how you view the law, which in judicial application, is entirely pattern recognition. I.e. given a fact pattern, what is the likely outcome. Categorize facts and cases, look for patterns, synthesize templates and fit.
So what you are saying is that what the actual law says, does not matter? Interesting.
Of course the actual law doesn’t matter. See the penaltax.
Well, let me ask what you mean when you’re talking about “actual law”
I don’t know. Maybe the words written in a law. I know they can be bent. I was making a joke. I take words written as literal, but I am simple.
What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
A slow start.
I’ll be here all week folks
Pollution
#SaveTheOceans
Bottom feeders?
Under the water, carry the water?
REMOve-ove-ove
And what’s the difference between lawyers and sharks?
A briefcase.
The sharks have professional courtesy.
What’s the difference between a Lawyer and a Vampire?
One is a blood sucking parasite, the other is the evil undead.
OT – I arrived in Wilmington, got checked in to my hotel and walked over to the Dixie Grill… It had been closed for three hours. It was only 6pm real people time and they’d gone dark hours before.
So I ate at one of those hipster places Sloopy hates that was still open.
NC? My wife and I took the kid to see the battleship a few weeks ago since it is only about a forty-five minute drive for us. We also ate one of the hipster places, The Fork ‘N’ Cork. Pretty good food, although I felt dirty paying like 8 bucks for a scotch egg.
I walked past the Fork ‘N’ Cork, but it was crowded, so I went across the street to ‘Slice of Life’
How was it? That is where I wanted to go.
I had generic Quesadillas (slightly overpriced) and their free refill policy on fountain drinks included one for the road in a take out cup (offered by the waitress, and not expected).
Beyond that… the prices listed for “Pizza” were absurd (and amusingly, higher in the midnight to 3am time frame, with the Veggie midnight-3 price the highest of any) So I didn’t even see what came out of their ovens, let alone tasted it.
That sounds…disappointing.
The building was great from an archtectural and atmosphere standpoint, but that’s not the foremost thing I judge a restaurant by.
Oh, and I do plan to see the Battleship tomorrow, after I’ve gone and wandered around some places which don’t require driving to get to. So I probably will return to lack of posting again.
I have been on the Alabama at Mobile bay and on the Missouri at Pearl Harbor. The Alabama was neat, but the Missouri was great. I got to stand on the deck of the Missouri in the same spot that Hirohito signed the papers for the surrender of Imperial Japan. That was really cool.
I haven’t been to the Missouri, I got to do a similar thing with Nelson on the HMS Victory. Highly recommend if in Portsmouth.
I agree with both of you about the USS NC, AL and Victory. I would add the USS Constitution (Boston) which is still a commissioned USN ship, the USS Bowfin (Pearl Harbor) a WWII fleet sub and the U505 (Chicago) which was captured on the high seas during WWII.
As a soldier I liked the fact I could get under cover when I wanted, on a warship you are as brave as the Captain is, like it or not. Plus the subs are very claustrophobic.
The Battleship is cool. They have a good bit of it open to explore.
Your post prompted me to read about the USS NC on Wikipedia where I found this:
“In 1999, a reunion was held on the ship. While standing on the signal bridge, the site of a friendly fire strike during the Okinawa assault of 6 April, former PFC Marine Gunner Richard R. Fox described how he helped carry a severely injured sailor down to sickbay. Fox had never known whether the man had survived. During his story he was interrupted by fellow North Carolina veteran Richard W. Reed, who identified himself as the injured sailor and offered his thanks. Neither man had known the other’s identity for over a half-century.”
This is why you go to reunions, people. Now, all those once cheerleaders can thank me for giving them CPR, whether they need it or not.
BB North Carolina is worth the visit. Ask them about moving the ship. You’ll probably get a lot of hemming and hawing since they tried to move it in 1999-2000 and found it was stuck. The sediment had filled in completely around the hull. As long as you are in the area Ft Fisher is a good visit. When the Union took it they closed Wilmington which was the last open port of the CSA.
Not sure you’ll see the reply this late, but… if they hurry up about moving it, Hurricane Matthew dislodged all the mud and floated the ship above the riverbed, so it can go out for a refit now. If you’ve seen the ship before the hurricane and after, it’s now floating several feet higher than it was… very strange, suddenly seeing a daily landmark (for me) change like that. Well, former daily landmark, I haven’t worked in Wilmington in a couple years, and since I moved further west this winter, I’m just outside of “comfortable driving distance” to bother shopping there, but I’m a stone’s throw from Myrtle Beach now.
I’m not sure I’d recommend a battleship tour now, with the temperatures in the 90s. It gets ungodly hot below decks.
And now more derangement – Maxine Waters flapping her dentures wanting to know why Trump hasn’t been impeached yet over the Jared Kushner back channel business. No explanation as to how anything he or his people have done amounts to an impeachable offense.
I want to know why Waters hasn’t been expelled from congress over her TDS.
The fact that people have voted for her more than once truly concerns me.
Spouting random unsubstantiated accusations is not grounds for impeachment unless it’s in the form of purjury. The venues she’s been using are just a-okay with regards to not losing her job that way.
“http://www.independentsentinel.com/never-forget-maxine-waters-embraced-thug-hurled-concrete-reginald-denny/”
In my world any congresscritter that did this would be out on their ass in a second.
Your world does not include south central LA.
Did I miss the post on Lag B’omer?
No, I was busy putting out bonfires that day.
This is an order of magnitude better than what I learned I Hebrew School. Keep up the good work OMWC.
Can this pelf be malted?
And we’re Americans here, cultural and culinary appropriation is what we’re all about.
Amen. I am partaking in culinary appropriation of a bunch of cultures to construct some pulled pork tacos tonight. I expect them to be good enough to change the (((world))). Blintzes look like something I need to look into. I have never had one.
Carne adovada tacos. YUM!
What culture is pulled pork appropriated from? I was thinking BBQ was fairly american. Maybe not originally American, but American enough that it sets itself apart from other cultures.
BBQ is the American ethnic food.
Pulled pork is totally American IMHO, which, as OMWC points out, is an appropriation of all cultures, but it is the appropriating of other aspects of the sauce where it becomes beutifuleristic. As well as the the appropriated coleslaw that then tops the said appropriated taco.
I had never had a vinegar based BBQ sauce until a few years ago. I decided to try it and found that I prefer it to most any other type. The last few times I have smoked a pork shoulder, I have made my own. It’s been real simple and I like the way it turns out
I boil a few cups of apple cider vinegar, add about a tabe spoon of ketchep, sprinkle in red pepper flakes to taste, add salt, cayenne pepper, and brown sugar. This sauce on a properly smoked pork shoulder sandwich with my wife’s coleslaw and a slice of red onion is one of my favorite meals.
Speaking of pork, in the morning I’m going to pick up a pig I had slaughtered last week. I see a lot of BBQ in my immediate future.
Oh yes. Did you see my advice on raising pigs? It truly is the voice of experience.
I have a pretty good set up at my place. I raised three pigs over the past 7 months. I built a pen that extends into my pond, about 200 yards from my house. With the pen extending into my pond, I didn’t have to worry about getting water all the way out there to them. With them that far from my house, I never had to deal with any stink. I agree that having pigs anywhere near your house is a bad idea. They do stink something awful.
The way I did it worked out pretty well. I spent 50 bucks a piece on the piglets. I raised them on chops for 7 months and had them slaughtered at about 250lbs. I sold one to my neighbor and one to my father in law. After expenses, I’m coming out about even and am going to have a while to put in the freezer. I’m pretty happy with how it worked out.
Excellent.
When I think of pigs and ponds I think of the guy in Jonesville, La that raises turtles for a living. he ships them to china and makes a fortune. I guess they make soup out of them. He has ~100 acres of ponds. He has a large pig pen adjacent to one of them. The pond side of the pen is a concrete slab that slopes down to the water. Thats where the pigs shit. Every day one of his guys takes a high pressure hose and washes the pig shit from about 50 hogs down into the water. As soon as that hose comes on the turtles frantically swarm toward that concrete slab…
Speaking of pork, in the morning I’m going to pick up a pig I had slaughtered last week. I see a lot of BBQ in my immediate future.
Nice. I wish I had a hog in the freezer. I am a big fan of the vinegar side of pork sauce and I agree that vinegar, red pepper and sugar is where it is at for most traditional sorts of pulled pork. I am now appropriating ginger, lime, sesame oil, coconut milk, and a bit of soy sauce into the mix. It is an Asian Southern Hillbilly sort of thing. The slaw is a standard recipe with mayo and celery seed + some soy sauce and,rice wine vinegar. One has to appropriate from the best food cultures as far as I am concerned. Some would boil the pork. throw in some cabbage and call it good.
That sounds interesting. I could do without the ginger, but making an Asian style vinegar saucenter would be worth a try.
I had pulled pork with cabbage for the first time about a year ago. A friend of mine wrapped a shoulder in Banana leaves and smoked it. I think he boiled the cabbage and added it to the pork after pulling. It was outstanding. I’m going to have to ask him exactly how he did it
I never understood that; I think redheads are gorgeous.
This
guyrobot gets it.they really are.
That’s what she said.
I agree with the vinegar sauce for pulled/chopped pork. I’ve gone off the heavy thick BBQ sauce for those, although I still like it for ribs and chicken.
I love vinegar-based bbq. Apple cider, mustard seed, a meagre dash of cayenne, a touch of brown sugar. It’s like you made a marinade and had some left over. For me, the point of the bbq is the smoke and the meat; the sauce is there to keep it moist and add a little contrast. With that said, ironically, I love the f out of Alabama white sauce. My family’s mostly from the ‘Bama, but I was born in Maryland, so go figure. Mind you, I do believe the best wings possible are dry and tossed in Old Bay.
Well, born in England, but lived all my life in Maryland. Well, most of my life. I don’t know, shit’s complicated.
NC is home to vinegar based BBQ sauce unlike the mustard based SC (spit) sauce.
I would imagine bbq originated with prehuman creatures discovering that fire makes meat taste good after some critter fell victim to a forest fire. That probably progressed to deliberately holding it over a fire and then the discovery that different woods make the meat taste different. Proper humans didn’t show up on the scene for a hundred thousand years after that, whereupon they took turns bbq’ing each other between bbq’ing their close human-like cousins.
That would be my guess.
The discovery of bbq by our pre human ancestors is credited by many for the evolution of humankind. Meat has many more calories than veggies, but humans can’t digest raw meat. Cooking meat allowed our brains to grow larger, and also allowed us to do more than forage all day.
I think OMWC should be obliged to prove that his blintzes (not a euphemism) are as beautifully put together as Chef John’s. And since we haven’t had dinner yet…
They’re not vegan, so you can watch me eat them.
Kinky
There is a reason you are the oft-divorced OMWC.
Wha me eat.
Not spiritual enough.
When I think of good Jewish food, I think of Jewish deli. I used to hang at Canter’s a lot–and I know they weren’t kosher, still . . .they were open all night. Where else you gonna go when you can’t sleep . . . for some reason?
I’m not a huge fan of Langer’s but they’re okay if you’re going downtown. There’s Greenblatt’s in Hollywood
Of course, when I think of really good Greek food, I think of that Greek deli I used to go to in Baltimore.
I worked in an Italian Deli / vino market in San Diego . . . I like Northern Italian as much s the next guy, and I worked in one of the best Italian restaurants in San Diego . . or one of their satellites anyway. I’d just as soon go to a good deli most of the time.
Busy Bee market in San Pedro!
Just, when I think of Jewish food, I think of deli–and to me, that’s like some of the best food out there. If my food sensitivity magically went away, I might eat nothing but deli and Chinese food for months.
Second. Pastrami on rye is a good thing, and the only good use for rye bread.
I thought rye was for drinking.
So you don’t like the Rueben?
I love a good reuben. In Hot Springs, they have horse races every year. They make a great reuben there. On the right days you can get them for a dollar.
Rye bread is awesome. Pastrami on rye or a Reuben are even better.
Agreed. Rye toast with lots of butter is yummy.
Or grilled cheese..swiss of course.
I love rye with any cold cuts but I’ve never tried it as toast. Interesting!
Toasted cheese made with rye bread is quite good too.
Ugh. Suthenboy beat me to it.
I like rye in a hot brown.
When I think of Jewish food, I think of matzo and Manischewitz.
Does Chef John have a recipe I can print out and use? It’s tough to make food by following a video.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/242406/chef-johns-cheese-blintzes/
Email him. Maybe he can wrap it up it in a GIF for you.
Slideshow.
*finds carousel projector for slides*
My dad took slides from all the family vacations when we were kids. We don’t have many family photos as a result.
You can make prints from slides you know…
Sure, but going through all the slides? Several years ago Dad got something called “Slides2PC” that converts the slides into digital images, but he wasn’t able to keep up with the conversions with Mom’s declining health. I don’t know if it even works with Windows 8 and 10.
Film strip.
Maybe Ted doesn’t own a pencil to take notes. I think a GIF that repeats is better.
Interestingly, the chalav custom is turned on its head by Yemeni Jews, who actually avoid dairy products on Shavuos.
Himyar is particularly interesting example of the expansion of Judaism that we unfortunately know very little about.
Saw the alt-text…*narrows gaze*
Those blintzes look good.
Is there a good substitute for vegetable oil in the recipe?
Clarified butter.
Thanks!
If blintzes are like french crepes, then even better would be lard, good and hot for frying. I’d avoid bacon fat, but not for the reasons you might think.
I can only think of one (((reason))).
I can think of @@@another@@@*
*I nominate the “@” symbol to represent Muslims as it kinda looks like a Muslim kneeling down in prayer.
It is very H@l@l
Thanks!
I know lard is pig fat, so it’s not Kosher, which isn’t a concern of mine.
Hammer of the Beast for tonight.
FFS 12%
I had half the bottle. Second half tomorrow.
The reading of the Book of Ruth actually is pretty cool, though. Ruth is really a wonderful story of love, family, and loyalty, peopled with delightful and noble characters, unlike the assholes who seem to dominate the rest of the Bible.
Fuck yeah!
And Wikipedia confirms my vague recollection that it also defends intermarriage, and sets up a Moabite as a model of virtue. Much preferable to spearing people mid-coitus because a guy got a hankering for some ethnic take-out, and another guy didn’t like it.
David is 1/4 Moabite via Ruth.
Yeah, when you get down in the weeds re: the genealogy leading up to that (and consequently to Jesus – well…part of it), it’s pretty amazing – Judah and Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, David and Bathsheba, etc. A lot of broken people but you don’t hear a lot of condemnation (aside from the obvious – David and Bathsheba – with consequences).
I’m thinking the blintzes recipe would rock with paneer, particularly if I fried it in butter until golden brown first and then mashed it up for the filling.
Oh great. Now I’m hungry again.
If you make your own paneer (I do), what works is to drain the curds but instead of pressing them, fluff them and let it dry slightly.
Yeah, I learned to make paneer from some friends of mine from Mumbai (the husband still calls it “Bombay” and claims he always will). Fluffing before frying’s even better, thanks. More surface area for all that golden brown butter-soaked yumminess.
**BELCH**
{beatific smile}
Now I want blintzes. Will go up to Boca to visit grandma and also visit one of the plethora of New York-based Jewish delis there so I can get a blintz. I suck at cooking.
Wrt bbq sauce, i have two words for you: dry rub
why not both?
Excatly
can thicc thursday be replaced with ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)?
Is that a rhetorical question?
…no?
Ok. Let me answer your question then.
this is playing in my other tab and it’s changing the feels
Oh god, HM found out about the dub for Ghost Stories. He’s going to have years of material.
I bought the series on DVD for the dub and never regretted the purchase!
Hellsing fan dubs are decent:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnIjJexut4
True story – that shit was genuine, licensed, officially produced by ADV dub.
Distributor got it in a big bundle of garbage, attached to few shows they wanted. The show was so bland and forgettable, they decided to have fun with the dub (I’m guessing hoping to sell it to Adult Swim). There was a lot of butthurt among the otaku (I don’t think we even had weaboos back then) about it. I adore it to this day.
California kayaker thrown out of boat by great white shark
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/05/30/California-kayaker-thrown-out-of-boat-by-great-white-shark/1541496163500/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=9
***
May 30 (UPI) — A man filming kayakers in California’s Monterey Bay captured the moment a man was thrown out of his kayak by an attacking great white shark.
Gene Mace Jr. shared video of the tense encounter that took place in March when Brian Correiar was kayaking just off San Carlos Beach.
The video, which was released this week but recorded March 18, shows Correiar get thrown out of his kayak by an attacking great white shark, while then circles Correiar as he flails in the water.
“That person just got knocked out of his kayak by a shark,” Mace says in the video. “See his kayak, a shark’s pushing it around…It’s swimming towards the guy now.”
***
I went kayaking through that same spot last year. I remember googling about shark attacks before I went in the water.
I used to help manage the deli department at my store and can attest to the shittiness of frozen kosher items (mostly blintzes, knish, latkes, and then the various kugels and casseroles for Passover). We don’t have the clientele to have a dedicated, certified kosher department, so anything kosher we sell must be a sealed, packaged item. There’s also the weird trend among some of our gentile customers that buy kosher because they think it’s better for you, so our suppliers have tried to capture that market by “healthy-fying” everything to make it even nastier.
So on the Reuben discussion, how did that become considered a Jewish deli dish? It seems like that breaks all kinds of Kosher dietary laws with the beef and the cheese together,
The only other group that has a thing for corned beef are the Irish, who enjoy corned beef and cabbage just like mom used to make, or old sailors who miss the taste of shit on shingle looking for a substitute for chipped beef.
Shit on a shingle is deceptive though. It looks like Biscuits and Gravy (aka Army food)…but it’s not.
Creamed chipped beef on toast is absolutely delicious. I grew up with it as a staple (we lived on a sailboat when I was wee) and it was always a treat when my grandfather would take me to the O-club at Homestead AFB (the base bowling alley had some of the best burgers on Earth). I was rather disappointed when, many years later, it was served in the Army chow halls and they used ground beef… gross.
Creamed chipped beef on toast is absolutely delicious.
So true. It was a breakfast treat growing up, although it started as Marine Corp SOS (with ground beef).
A Jewish Reuben is pastrami, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing on rye. There is no cheese.