ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. REHAB IS ALMOST OVER, AND ZARDOZ IS FEELING GREAT. ZARDOZ’S NEW FRIEND HAS OFFERED TO LET ZARDOZ STAY IN HIS DEN, WHILE LOOKING FOR NEW JOB.
ZARDOZ TO RECEIVE WARM WELCOME?
WHILE ZARDOZ PACKS HIS BELONGINGS, ENJOY SOME LINKS, CHOSEN ONES.
SCHOOL’S OUT FOR…PRINCIPAL
I’m surprised it was only a brick. It is Philly.
There is not enough money in the world you could pay me to work in a public school.
I have six bucks, there’s like 80 cents on this Applebee’s card and a handful of hard candy from my grandmas place…..
A former roommate of mine was a substitute teacher in a public school in one of the worst parts of North Philly. It probably helped him that he grew up in a shitty part of West Philly and spent time in the Army.
My sister’s a public school teacher in Maryland. She actually likes it, though she’s nuts.
She also refuses to put either of her kids in public school.
She also refuses to put either of her kids in public school.
Most every public school teacher with kids that I’ve known has said the same thing. Public school teachers without kids on the other hand all thought the schools would be a good place for their kids if they ever had kids.
What are her opinions of school choice/charters?
That’s not peak Florida. No animals, no guns, no firecrackers.
Yep, no drugs either. It’s got naked, mentally ill and masturbating down pat though.
Yeah, that’s just deinstitutionalization at work.
Should’ve seen the mess he left on the back ho.
Meh. Miami.
I wonder how heavy his equipment is
They only took him to a psychiatrist after he demonstrated that he didn’t need a stroke doctor.
First beer of the night. It was pretty good. Now Weyerbacher’s Blithering Idiot for my second beer.
That might be your last beer. That is black out juice.
Third. Yuengling Black and Tan.
What are you some kind of NEPA guy? Is a Steg porter next?
My grandmother grew up in NEPA and insisted on moving back when my grandparents retired. Now that my grandparents are dead, the only remaining relatives in NEPA are ones I have never met, and I have hiked Rickett’s Glen, I have no intentions of stopping in NEPA again. Driving through, yes, stopping in, no. I grew up in the Philly area. I live in New England now.
Got it. I’ve been all over but came back to the NEPA area about 10 years ago and haven’t left. I even managed to import a wife from Philly. If you can get a good job it’s a great place to live, if not there is little reason to stick around. I’ve found that is the case with most places.
Jobs are why I left the Philly area. I still stop back to visit friends and family. I have some good times when I go visit.
Pussy. Some sort of great pussy that you’ve lost your shit over.
You voluntarily re-became a Heyna?
Hi!
I’m glad you all made it out for the audition.
However…I have sad news…none of you are quite right for the lead role in ‘Tiny Burt Lancaster vs. the Inter-Dimensional Paparazzi Spies’.
We are still casting for supporting and ensemble roles and a few of you will be getting called back in to read for those. Good luck!
So anyway that’s it for now. Feel free to load up at the crafts table on the way out and don’t forget to get your parking stub stamped!
The incident happened Wednesday outside Fitler Academics Plus School in Germantown, officials said.
Literally Fitler.
Ausgezeichnet!
We’re all just counting steps on the road to serfdom.
Yeah, I do Iron Cross Fitler.
This smells like complete horseshit to me.
What? I thought turning it off and on again always worked.
It was a shit design if they didn’t have failsafes.
like a UPS?
Yeah I can’t make heads or tails of that. Apparently they had an uncontrolled shutdown but are blaming file corruption on an improper startup?
Maybe mission-critical corporate IT systems are different, but I’ve built a lot of workstations and home servers with consumer grade commodity hardware and it’s been more or less impossible for a power fault to cause system wide damage like that since the ’90s.
The article claims their equipment was from the 80s, which sounds dubious to me.
Yeah, I definitely call bullshit on that. A multi billion dollar airline hasn’t updated their IT infrastructure in 30+ years? Maybe for some uber niche, mostly offline systems.
If they were still nationalised I might believe it.
True. The DoD is still hiring for COBOL and FORTRAN.
I had to program in Fortran 77 to graduate, but it was the 1990’s. compiling was like a slot machine that only payed out sorrow
GS-12: BASIC programmer…
A lot of stuff in the financial world still runs on COBOL and mainframes. Same with airline reservation systems.
A bit OT but there is a fear that there will be a shortage of COBOL monkeys in the near future as the current population is aging out.
Jinx
My company’s earliest platform is maintained by a couple retirees. We finally sunset it this year but only because we got acquired by a bigger company and moved the business to their platform. The funny thing is that old platform is the only one that allowed our underwriters to basically do whatever the hell they wanted because there’s no error checking or business rules of any kind on it so they were holding on to it like grim death.
So their system was about as easy to game as the US defense budget.
Yes. There are lots of companies (mainly financial, but not all) that are reluctant to change their infrastructure. What they have works and change is risky.
Maybe old gear? Sounds like the starting loads were too much and caused brownout or popped breakers.
Alternate BA PR: Better a server crash than plane crash.
In honor of Zardoz’s recovery and to spite SugarFree for his think piece last week
I’m not sure what the purpose of that songs existence is.
It seems like the large scale cyber attacks taking place of late should be bigger stories and a higher priority given the sweeping powers granted to the intelligence ‘communities’ in the West and their massive resources. I mean, you’d also think there’d be a bit more heat on them for all the terror attacks, but surprisingly very little. The media was perfectly content to just make some vague references to Russians which allowed them to quickly get back onto their favorite topic.
It’s enough to make a man stop and wonder what it is these people actually get paid for.
Went out for a few too many last night with an old friend. He kept shaking his head at me, “Oh, you and your conspiracy theories. That would be all over the media if it were true.” The conspiracy theory I mentioned? Mass data collection by the U.S. intelligence agencies. My friend had heard the name Snowden, but didn’t know what had happened in any detail. He did know for certain, however, that Snowden was a traitor. That is why I drank a few too many last night.
People hold the government to a much, much lower standard than private entities. If, after 9/11, the federal government had simply hired a private company to investigate potential terrorists, people would be calling for the CEO’s head on a pike. It’s the same with most other government “services”. The police commit outright murder and the most they ever get is paid leave. Kids leave public schools with a lifelong aversion to learning.
I think low expectations for government is part of the “national consciousness”. Everyone demands perfection from private companies (consider all the people who throw a tantrum over a goofed-up McDonalds order) but they cut the government a break.
Early tanks.
Have you watched “Tank Chats”? David Fletcher goes around and talks about the various tanks etc at Bovington. Whole bunch of them are on youtube.
You’re welcome.
*narrows glacis*
I’ve been a tank-geek for forty-five years. I want to go to there!
I love me a Stug.
Try the National Armor and Cavalry Museum (formerly the George Patton Museum) on Ft Benning, GA. It has everything we’ve ever had, and many we just tested. It also features lots of stuff we have captured.
HAVE YOU TRIED TURNING IT OFF AND ON AGAIN?
That story is funny. Am I a horrible person if I find that funny? Eeh fuck it, who cares, that is funny.
How the hell do you turn the power on too fast? I mean, yeah, you can turn the water back on too fast, but the power? Crazy Brits; probably positive ground, too.
Just The Right Height, No Bucket Is Required
That whorse was asking for it!
Too old for Rumspringa.
In the sidebar is this delightful story
She is a conjurer of delicious dishes.
And Padma Lakshmi looked as delectable as her own designs as she graced the new cover of Beach.
The 46-year-old showed off her mouth-watering figure in a white crocheted swimsuit.
That guy is fuckin’ stud.
Won’t you be my neighboner?
♪They try to make me go to rehab
I say
THE PENIS IS EVIL ♪
Re: Rochdale – what happened to no sex, we’re British?
No what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink
Know, even
Wait… “another Rochdale”? Was Rochdale “another Rotherham” or the other way round? I can’t keep up.
Re that rape case. Man, does Tanqueen look like he needs a beating or what?
They all look like they need a beating, I like how the Mail called them an, “Asian pedophile gang”. I guess we are going to the continental designation now. I have not seen that before.
Looks like a taxicab convention to me…
“Asian” has been the British euphemism for Bangladeshi or Paskistani for decades.
I always get sidetracked by the side bar at the Mail, so I guess I have missed that.
So, an update on the efforts to get to the bottom of this Trumputin business, Mueller is showing that he believes he has a very wide mandate to investigate whatever the hell he wants. He’s looking into Flynn’s ties to…Turkey. To be specific, a private Turkish businessman. He’s also looking at the roles of Sessions/Rosenstein in firing Comey. They’re basically just sending a close, personal friend and mentor of Comey’s out on a mission to investigate anything and everything he wants. And at least based on one anonymous source, he’s doing just that.
Prosecuting Flynn for failing to disclose business dealings with some Turkish dude who may or may not be working on the behest of Erdogen would be pretty comical coming from the same class of people who told us how important intent was after Hillary destroyed 30,000 emails. It’s a stretch, but so was the prosecution of “Scooter.” The media is going to make what that kid linked to above did to his horse look like child’s play. That beast isn’t going to be able to walk for months, if ever again, after they have their way with it.
The last time I saw this much shit flung at a wall it formed a swastika.
Meanwhile, here’s CNN to tell us how it’s Trump and his staff, and not the media, living in an alternate political reality from most Americans after spending two days bitching about climate change before getting back to their typical drumbeat on RUSSIA:
You mean every shit that Trump takes isn’t ‘historic’, like it was when Obama was on the pot?
Seems shocking, but I know our press is nonpartisan so it must be that Sean Spicer is actually the reincarnation of Goebbels.
So he is going after Manafort and Russia/Ukraine ties. How long did Manafort work for Trump? About 4 hours? Fuck me, might as well get into the Podesta’s and their ties to Russia while he is at it. I am sure they are very similar to Manafort’s. They are all the same type of DC trash and make their money the same way.
I’m gonna jinx them by saying this, but it’s looking good for the hogs in the 7th. 2 runs in vs. none against. Just got Oral Roberts starter out. Men on 1st and 2nd with nobody out.
That’s some kinda sportsball game there fella
Mother fucker. Not 10 seconds after posting that we hit into a double play. I’m done commenting on the game.
Woooooo pig sooie! 3-0 shutout win. The pigs advance.
Huh? Arkansas was playing today?
When I got off the subway after work and headed up the stairs I was behind a midget with a smoking hot girlfriend.
Sure it wasn’t a man and her ugly kid.
Woman. It man
Damm typing is hard apparently. Well the quip I was trying to make is now a shitty mess
Since when is a dwarf with a beard an unusual sight?
Nice
In other words, Slammer othered a little person, reinforced gender stereotypes and perpetrated a male gaze for the cishetshitlord trifecta, and that’s just on his way home from work.
How often does an opportunity like that knock?
Is it just me or when I see male gaze written I immediately see male glaze.
you get glazed by gays?
Krusty Kreme.
Can I get some Annie Sprinkles on that?
I indulged in the express bus today. Some smartly-dressed lady was short of cash – she thought the fare was $4.50 LOL join this decade – and unlike the subway, people actually gave her quarters instead of walking away from the raving lunatic.
It’s not one transit token anymore?
But enough about Leslie Jones in the recent reboot of Ghostbusters…
Tokens died out in the early 00’s. Besides the express buses are more than double the subway fare so I don’t think they ever took tokens.
“Puts on old geezer hat”. Back in my day one $1.25 token could be used for transport on any bus or train in any of the five boroughs. “Takes off geezer hat”. That was in the early 90’s and I was selling Christmas trees in upper Manhattan during the Crackpockoplyse.
Pics of the hot girlfriend?
I tried to get a pic of her ass and his goddam head was in the way
definitely want to see a pic now.
It ain’t Florida but why not?
Man tunes car to run rough in order to gain sexual satisfaction and gets busted multiple times.
http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2017/05/man_with_cranking_fetish_gets.html
If this guy steals your car beg your insurance company to total it out.
Florida Man is Larry David?
Man that….really…grinds mygears!
I like cars, but that is taking things too far.
“Everyone has to die sometime. Why would I be afraid to die? We’ve all gotta go go sometime…”
And Jane jokes for the win.
The Man They Called Jayne
We gotta go to the crappy town where I’m a hero!
But Titorville is a total shitheap and a literal shitheap.
Nice hat.
Jane Wiedlen is the hottest GO GO, hotter even than the lead singer when she had some babyfat.
De gustibus, but you’re objectively wrong. Belinda Carlisle and Charlotte Caffey were both hotter, and Kathy Valentine was more important to the band – she was/(is ?) a great bassist
Yeah but Jane is tiny and cute. Belinda seems high maintenance and any dude can pick up a bass and be better in about three months.
It’s not about how great you can play, it’s about what you add to a song to make it better. Valentine (IMO) made “Our Lips Are Sealed”, “We Got the Beat” and “Vacation” with smart bass parts. Not Gedde Lee brilliant, just good additions to their pop tunes.
As a bassist, I used to hate Michael Anthony (Van Halen). It took me a while to realize he was the exact bass player necessary for that band. Someone who would let the guitarist and vocalist rip while he basically just kept the beat, and then did fills when they were through riffing.
But yeah, Jane is tiny and cute.
I was just sitting around the other day and out of fucking nowhere, I got hit with the realization that one day, I’m going to die. It could be at the ripe-old age of 95; it could be in a car accident tomorrow. But it’s going to happen. They’ll put my corpse in the ground and it will rot away into nothing; all that will be left of me on this Earth is pictures and videos (will anyone even save them? I don’t know). Of course, I always knew I was going to die sooner or later, but for some reason, this truth just hit me in the face at 400 miles per hour. I’m not going to lie – I collapsed on the couch and cried, and I did so regularly for several days. I’m feeling better now, but it’s just weird that it happened completely out of the fucking blue.
Yup. You only get one chance at dying so make it good.
Like on fire, covered in venomous snakes, while strangling your worst enemy to death as you both tumble off a skyscraper good.
Poppy shows us a different side of herself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb3hgXmf4hc
woof
Hey metric system!
Go fuck yourself!
*fist pump*
25.4 times?
Based on the internet I’ve come to the conclusion that Trailer Park Boys and this were the most influential contributions of Canadian culture to the world.
The Trailer Park Boys was a fine contribution to the world. I have no idea what that link is though.
Red Green
I’m honestly shocked that Red Green has actively cross-national influence.
the best! Although most of the people I know who like it are from the northern bits of the US.
Explains a lot, especially why people like Kevin Smith are into shit like Degrassi.
Texan here. I like Red well enough. I’ve even seen the movie!
there is one texan I know who really enjoys it.
I’ve even seen the movie!
It’s shit, the show’s a hell of a lot better.
Ah, Red Green… What a funny guy. Remind me again, what’s that actor’s name?
Canadian Steve Smith is gentle and polite.
You forget Liona Boyd, the hottest classial guitarist from the 70’s.
I’ve never even seen any Trailer Park Boys episodes. I think the most-influential contributions of Canada to the world have been
– William Shatner
– Alex Trebec
– Jim Carrey (formerly John Candy, but he died before most millenials was even born)
– Barenaked Ladies
– Justin Bieber
And if you live in one of the border states, there’s also that Molson Ledours and Labatt Blue that has more-higher alcohol, ay.
Wasn’t Jack Warner Canadianiani?
I am not familiar with his work.
Your list can’t be complete, as I don’t see Anne Murray on it.
Just kidding. But, you did leave Gord off of it, so I still have to reject it outright.
Is that not by the Barenaked Ladies? All white music sounds the same to me.
Well, I’m sure they all know each other.
Carl: What are you doin’ there?
Meatwad: I’m rappin’
Carl: Yeah… no, no I see that – what for?
Meatwad: Money – if you got it umm
I wanna get some steady bitches and hoes
And some candy for my nose
Some diamond stones, to roll with my chrome and..
Carl: Hey, genius. You even know what that means?
Meatwad: Uh-uh – what does it mean?
Carl: Where’s the keyboards, and the tambourine, and the guitar
And you know, I mean – the stuff that like, white people like.
Meatwad: We had a piano
Carl: Somethin’ bad-ass, like uhh, I don’t know. uhh, REO Speedwagon or somethin’.
True story = I actually made some beats for a white rapper from Halifax once, long long ago.
He still raps. He’s actually quite good. If he weren’t fat and didn’t have a speech impediment, i bet he’d be slightly less obscure.
For Doom-
The best of Carl’s social commentary
:damn slanting comments:
Plenty of good white rappers out there!
Who doesn’t remember Bless, Montreal’s contribution to the rap scene.
“If he weren’t fat and didn’t have a speech impediment, i bet he’d be slightly less obscure.”
How can you tell if a rapper has a speech impediment?
And w-w-w-wouldn’t it help rather than hinder a rap career?
Oh, i was going to ask if he was one of the Warner brothers, but i assumed you would have mentioned two of them.
Yes he was.
I wasn’t counting the more general Canadian transfers to the south, more stuff that was produced in-country rather than our (admittedly numerous) foreign exports.
Oooooh.
There’s more than just syrup? I had no idea.
We’ve got a whole film industry that’s decade behind man.
It’s telling that our best products (and the ones that do the best in foreign markets), i.e. stuff like Trailer Park Boys and Letterkenny are not produced by the state broadcasters.
What do you have against Little Mosque on the Prairie?
“The Wind Cries Mary” just came up on Pandora.
It was Jimi, you are excused.
I love the trailer park boys. They are like modern day Canadian three stooges.
Watch the Lehey guy. John Dunsworth is an acting God.
Fuck off Lahey!
You too Randy!
WELL fiuffk you too!!1 (falls over lawn furniture).
Shit analogies, the only good part of that shitty show.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hcQW04AQ_Ok
Dvr’d the new Twin Peaks, dozed off a bit. Still as ludicrous and nonsensical as the last time? I dug the first go-round because it was so different and they cast the hottest chicks on network at the time (plus , I was a Lynch Geek).
Incidentally, I think this new ZARDOZ narrative is probably like 200% better than the movie.
I’ve not watched the movie. Nor do I plan to. Looks pretty stupid. Not so stupid that it’s funny, just stupid.
I’ll get caught up on the last 24 hours of posts when I have time – for the moment – Goldberg’s G File yesterday was pretty much perfect.
Recommended reading/posting.
Well, it looks like you’ll have extra time this morning. As it seems like Swiss is hungover. Again.