Tuesday Afternoon Links

Since our “normal” afternoon links staffer has blown up his computer… or office… or done something equivalent of which the details are vague, I present to the Glibertariat the “I’m not really one of you, but I play at it online” afternoon links!

  • Google wants you to spend some time exploring the stories of refugees on a per-click-ad-revenue-driven media outpost it just happens to own.
  • In shocking news, apparently actual Nazis decamped to Argentina, taking along head-measuring devices. (No, not that kind of head. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter.)
  • I’m not a beer drinker, but apparently beer is a luxury item in Finland, so drinkers are compelled to go elsewhere to have their Groupon honored.
  • Another reason to avoid owning a Tesla.
  • I can guarantee my Dad would NOT have purchased one of these for me.

Have a great afternoon, and if you can’t do that, make sure the people making you miserable are equally miserable.

Comments

567 responses to “Tuesday Afternoon Links”

  1. ChipsnSalsa

    Another reason to avoid owning a Tesla.

    In fairness to Tesla, the reason that is newsworthy is because it is a Tesla. Cats put their kittens in dumb places, or the kittens get there on there own.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Next time line to a story where Tesla auto-driver actually KILLS a kitten, pal.

      1. Sour Kraut

        Musk is a Lightbringer who is capable of spontaneous kitten production.

    2. deepspeed

      A few years back, a local cat stuck her entire litter inside the front bumper of my dad’s Chevy Malibu. Unfortunately, he didn’t know they were there until they decided to climb out going 60 mph down the highway. It was heartbreaking.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        When the wife was a girl her family had one set up camp in the engine compartment. Her dad took care of it with nothing more said on the matter.

        1. Enough About Palin

          That happened to me in about 1986. The cat got a free ride from Fridley to Brooklyn Park. Surprised he didn’t get hut.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        My BIL’s kitten decided to take a nap under the wheel of his car.

        That’s right.

        SPLAT!

        He was sickened for years.

        1. This is why I only have indoor cats.

          They seem to think they’re spoiled, however, and are just lazy fucks that lie around all day.

          1. Rhywun

            The no fleas and no suppurating wounds is worth it, though.

        2. westernsloper

          I was on a crew where that happened to a donkey ran over by a 30,000+ kg piece of O&G exploration equipment backing up. That ordeal made a bit of a mess. Shade is shade, and shade is good when it is hot, but sometimes it kills a donkey.

    3. peachy rex

      Several years ago, I saw a half-starved stray kitten climb​ up into an engine block. Fortunately, I was able to contact the owner, he plucked her out again, and I took her home with me. She still sleeps on my chest every night…

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        Hey preachy, what breed of dog is in your avatar?

        1. peachy rex

          Another rescue, so I know nothing of his background. Most likely a boxer and/or pit mix, but he behaves like a water retriever with side of sight hound…

    4. Gilmore

      Cats put their kittens in dumb places, or the kittens get there on there own.

      We had a cat when i was a kid that…. well it had some sort of cat-disease where it was always in heat.

      (yes, we should have taken it to the vet. we weren’t really that kind of pet-owning family. if a cat had a problem, that cat was probably going to die. which is why our other cat lasted 21 years. he knew better than to rely on us for shit)

      anyway, slut-cat popped out 3 big litters in a single year then dropped dead. and every time it popped out some kittens, it would take the smallest/weakest looking one and drag it off to die somewhere. one was found before it croaked, but the other 2 became surprise gifts for some lucky family-member.

      one it hid in my brother’s underwear drawer. another one it managed to somehow place inside one of my dad’s toolboxes.

      1. westernsloper

        In a past life, I had to take a ferrel cat that had a rotting dead kitten hanging out of it’s hooha to the vet. Why that cat decided to choose my porch to hang out on I will never know. It was the old lady next door that fed the damn things. All I know is it cost me money to have the cat put down when I took it to the vet. It was sick beyond sick. Both the experience, and the poor cat.

  2. Caput Lupinum

    Those Ken abominations make me so very glad my daughter hates dolls.

    1. AlexinCT

      I thought the only Ken dolls left were the destitute drug abusing ones after Divorce Barbie took all his worldly possessions?

      1. Mad Scientist

        I thought Ken was always destitute and depended on Barbie. After all, you don’t see a lawyer Ken and an astronaut Ken and a pimp Ken.

        1. AlexinCT

          Heh, my Gi-Joe days had me walking the Joes into my niece’s Barbie home, smacking Ken around, and showing Barbie what real men were like..

          1. AlexinCT

            By telling her to fold the laundry..

          2. The Last American Hero

            Mine went MIA one day without a trace. I always blamed this guy:

            Steve Smith Action figure

        2. SP

          I had an Airline Pilot Ken that, um, came with Stewardess Barbie.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Barbie and Ken go their separate ways after they land. Barbie goes to hot clubs in Hollywood and does a few lines of cocaine. Ken picks up a 5 at a hotel bar just outside of LAX and takes her back to a trailer right off LAX property with a mattress that is shared by 5 other pilots in a carefully plotted rotation.

            The next morning they both show up to work and greet each other with chipper banter like they went straight to bed and got 8 hours of sleep.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Mine is a victim of the patriarchy and thus loves dolls. Luckily she’s never really gotten into Barbie and her friends and relatives and party houses and whatever the fuck else they sell.

    3. John Titor

      I really don’t get the retarded ‘man bun’ hairstyle some of these guys are going for. You’re not a bloody Edo period samurai, just grow a ponytail.

      1. Caput Lupinum

        Or grow a ponytail and put it in an actual bun because it is as hot and humid out as the southern hemisphere of SugarFree’s nut sack after he finishes a Huma/Hillary slash fic.

      2. fried

        Plus, how can they call something which takes 2 years to grow from scratch ‘trendy’? Wouldn’t the trend be over between deciding you want one and actually having one?

      3. Vhyrus

        There’s a guy at my work that wears his hair like that. Granted he could legitimately be mistaken for Khal Drogo on any given day so he gets a pass.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Go on…

      4. The Last American Hero

        Portlandia had this one covered – basically the girls get turned on by the manbun guy because the level of confidence a man must have to walk around with that hairstyle must be off the charts.

        1. Caput Lupinum

          Confidence? Nah, I just run out of fucks when it gets above 80°.

          1. I just keep my hair short.

            Besides, if I ever tried to grow it long, it was start curling back up, which I absolutely don’t like.

          2. Caput Lupinum

            There’s enough baldness in my family where I’m pretty sure if I cut my hair it’ll never come back.

            At this point my hair is long enough where if I do start balding I can make several wigs from my own hair.

      5. ArchieBunker

        I just wish these jerks who have beards but don’t know how to so much as change a tire would shave that shit off. It’s cultural appropriation and it has to stop

      6. wdalasio

        One very simple question to ask yourself when considering growing a manbun: Is my name Toshiro Mifune? If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t get a manbun.

  3. Finns regularly take the ferry crossing to Estonia in order to lay their hands on cheaper booze.

    And when I was in Tallinn, I ran into a few – man, they were foul tempered drunks.

    1. Caput Lupinum

      The Finns aren’t known for being happy, regardless of their BAC.

      1. C. Anacreon

        Why does Estonian booze get the wins?
        That’s nobody’s business but the Finns.

    2. Vhyrus

      If you ever read Scandinavia and The World, Finland is depicted as the quiet one with the crazy eyes that likes to watch people sleep while he sharpens his axes.

      1. Juice

        Depending on whom you ask, Finland is not actually part of Scandinavia.

        1. Sour Kraut

          Just like the French don’t consider UK part of Europe.

          I suppose, they’re a little more right now than they used to be.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          It’s not.

        3. Rufus the Monocled

          That’s because it isn’t.

          1. Chipwooder

            Right. Nordic, but not Scandinavian.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            And apparently insane.

            Sharpshooters (hockey and military) and axes is all I hear about Finland.

      2. Jefe Hayek

        Little known fact: Finland is so named because the citizens have been required for centuries to swim out to sea and murder a shark with their bear hands (they have to kill a bear and take its hands first) and bring the fins back for fuel/food/sexual gratification.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Another little known fact: They have bear hands

          1. leonadasiv

            Makes killing sharks easier.

    3. Juice

      Finns are weird. They can be very friendly but you feel like they’re forcing themselves to be friendly.

      1. grrizzly

        Now I see why I’m not forcing myself to be friendly hard enough — only a quarter Finn.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I always had a good time with the Finns when out drinking. I just knew better than to try to keep up.

  4. Rufus the Monocled

    I don’t like the looks of those refugees.

    Don’t have to look (more than) a refugee!

    #newpettyheartbreakerslyrics

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Another victory for boobs!

      The Democrats won in Georgia? HEY-OO

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        *hardy laughter*

    2. Enough About Palin

      I used to work in a building across a parking lot from the Deja Vu in Minneapolis. We used to say that Deja Vu was French for, “I can’t get no pussy.”

    3. Holger-da-Dane

      Worthless article is worthless without pics.

  5. F. Stupidity Jr.

    I can guarantee my Dad would NOT have purchased one of these for me.

    Ken dolls – now that takes me back to a simpler time.

    1. Florida Man

      Ha! I had the first on that one.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Those were good times.

        1. Florida Man

          *presses ACME button*

          *net drops*

          1. jesse.in.mb

            thbt thbt thbt meep meep

    2. Sour Kraut

      I was always sorry to leave the Skenazy columns behind — really like what she stood for.

  6. AlexinCT

    What about this?

    1. Raston Bot

      summary:

      1. Seth’s death does not appear to be a random homicide
      2. Seth’s death does not appear to be a robbery gone bad
      3. Seth death was more likely committed by a hired killer or serial murderer
      4. There may be additional video surveillance of the crime and crime scene
      5. The resolution of prosecuting the individual(s) responsible appears to be hindered both actively and passively
      6. Seth’s killer(s) most likely remains free within the community

      1. Cliche Bandit

        Interesting until I read THIS:
        “Additionally, research shows that nationally, revolvers are used in only 1 of 20 cases (20%), and in DC they are used even less often (12%). Therefor the probability that a revolver was used if none of the stated supra were present would be very low.”

        If you can’t do math…well

    2. R C Dean

      I loved this statement by the family:

      Given that fact, the family hopes that the general public takes the findings at face value—valuable experience in research collection and report writing for students at George Washington University but in no way should take any findings contained within as new, credible or otherwise lending credence to conspiracy theories surround the circumstances of Seth’s death.

      They start by saying “take the report at face value” and then go on to tell you to not take it at face value; in fact they specifically say not to give it any credibility.

      If they think the DC police are going to crack this case, they are badly mistaken. If they were going to solve it, it would have been solved long ago. Now, how hard the DC cops have gone at this investigation, I have no idea. But kissing their ass now isn’t going to change a damn thing.

      1. Endless Mike

        Also, they have other children to think about.

      2. westernsloper

        And before that…..

        The Profiling Project’ was given no special access to any materials, evidence or persons and due to case sensitivity, conducted only informal, limited interviews. Given that fact, the family hopes that the general public takes the findings at face value

        It is all secret. Nobody knows what the police have. I like to do conspiracy theories for fun/shits and giggles, but with this, I lean toward the DNC killed that kid for leaking to wikileaks. I have seen nothing pointing to another scenario. Robbery? Whatever.

      3. Agent Cooper

        How much is the DNC paying the family to say stuff like this?

        1. Vhyrus

          More like ‘You saw what happened to Seth! Now SHUT. UP!’

          1. wdalasio

            No, I’m willing to bet it’s more of the “Play ball and you’ll be rewarded when things quiet down. Put up a fuss and end up like Seth.”.

    3. Grumbletarian

      Psh, he wasn’t murdered. He was robbed (of his life.)

      ~DNC

  7. Vhyrus

    I am going to repeat this because it’s that important:

    BREAKING GUN NEWS: MOLOT-VEPR has been officially placed on the sanctions list, effectively banning them from importation. This means that VEPR rifles and shotguns (including the fracking awesome VEPR 12) will no longer be available for sale after the current stock in country dries up. GET THEM NOW! If you have been waiting to get a VEPR your time is officially up. Move your fat ass to the nearest computer and order one right da fuck now!

    http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2017/06/20/breaking-us-banned-vepr-due-sanctions-looks-like/

    1. AlexinCT

      Is this like the going out of business sign that some carpet store in one of those hellhole CT cities has been flying for some 25 years now?

      1. Vhyrus

        If it is proven true, then no. Saigas were banned about 2 years ago and they are gone now.

        1. Tacit Rainbow

          Back in the saddle and trying to keep up with orders.

          1. Vhyrus

            That is an American company that copied the gun and the name, and they just started shipping. They also suck as bad as the original saigas.

          2. Tacit Rainbow

            They’re the former US distributor that stole the name the second they could.

            Haven’t heard one way or another that they suck. They’re positioned to be the only game going forward on the shotguns at least, as new-old-stock Izmash and Molot dry up.

          3. Pan Zagloba

            Czechs, Serbs or Romanians need to get in on this shit!

          4. Raston Bot

            anecdotal testing showed failure to cycle (low pressure) cheap stuff.

      2. Sour Kraut

        AFAICT Vhyrus doesn’t play around.

        1. Vhyrus

          Not about guns, my friend.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      This is my last chance to buy a gun I never wanted!

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Odd, I had the same thought.

    3. Holger-da-Dane

      WTF is this shit now? I thought we left these import bans behind when the previous administration vacated the building.

      1. Viking1865

        Some kind of ZOMG RUSSIANS Sanctions bill passed the Senate last week.

        Two Senators voted against it: Rand Paul and Mike Lee. I have not read the bill, but if Rand Paul and Mike Lee were the only ones who voted against it, I’m gonna say it’s a shitty bill.

  8. grrizzly

    Interesting links, SP. You should do it more often.

    1. SP

      No need to suck up just because I control who can be a poster here.

      1. grrizzly

        I’m not interested in being a poster, but I like when the write-up around the link gives enough info about the content but not everything. Some links posters here don’t provide any clue what the link is about.

        1. Oh noes, you might have to click the link?!

          *Narrows gaze*

          1. SP

            I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules.

  9. John Titor

    I’m not a beer drinker, but apparently beer is a luxury item in Finland, so drinkers are compelled to go elsewhere to have their Groupon honored.

    Finland’s alcohol control history is similar to Ontario:

    “Holy shit, our population is made up of drunks, and we can’t ban it because they just end up drinking industrial alcohol instead.”

    “Meh, tax the shit out of it and they’ll cut down on it.”

    And thus they create a population of slightly poorer drunks.

  10. The Last American Hero

    The leading bid on eBay for the recovered Nazi artifacts isn’t DJTrumpNo1, but it would be funny if it was.

    1. John Titor

      If I was Trump I’d have been using Twitter to troll like crazy over the past couple months.

      “Hey, anyone know where I can buy a bunch of cattle cars on the cheap?”

      1. Vhyrus

        Asking for a friend.

  11. Vhyrus

    So, what kind of racist shitlord was your father, SP? (are you a good witch or a bad witch?)

    1. AlexinCT

      He is a wicked witch..

    2. Old Man With Candy

      He’s probably the least racist person I’ve ever known.

      1. SP

        That’s where I get it.

  12. thrakkorzog

    Well, when I see 5 weirdos in togas stabbing the President in front of hundreds of witnesses, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Well, when I see 5 weirdos in togas stabbing the President in front of hundreds of witnesses, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.

      Those were actors in a Shakespeare In the Park production of Donald Trump Julius Caesar!

    2. Chipwooder

      You killed 5 actors!….good ones!

      The “good ones” bit is the part that always cracked me up the most, as if killing bad actors would be regrettable but acceptable. Miss ya Nancy Marchand!

      1. C. Anacreon

        Nancy Marchand was also the newspaper owner on “Lou Grant”, and seemed to always support a good fight for the truth. Ah, to have someone like her behind a major daily now compared to Bezos, Pinchy, etc al.

        What a different and loathsome character she was as Tony Soprano’s mother, though! Talented actress.

    1. I thought they’d stopped calling it Mesmerism?

      1. (disclaimer: I didn’t watch the video, so maybe there’s an explanation there)

  13. grrizzly

    A group of British orienteers have been arrested by authorities in Finland after popping over the Russian border for a spot of alcoholic refreshment.

    How come they were not arrested in Russia?

    1. Drake

      I don’t understand the story at all. What did the Brits do that was illegal? Crossing into Finland after drinking beer in Russia is illegal?

      1. fried

        The border crossing itself was illegal, irrespective of the purpose for doing so.

        1. Drake

          AHh! They tried to avoid the bureaucratic bullshit, and bureaucrats aren’t having it!

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Finns are kinda sensitive about dudes coming over the border with Russia without permission.

            I know, I know, big babies…

      2. Pan Zagloba

        Bogarting all the booze and not saving any for the Finnish border guards?

    2. “How come they were not arrested in Russia?”

      Because they couldn’t deal with the jokes if they arrested some drinkers, even illegal aliens.

  14. tarran

    This link goes to a video that was clearly not shot in a suburb or city in the U.S. because nobody outsources the rescue to 911, no police arrive, the dog does not get shot, and no private rescuer gets arrested for trespassing.

    As you can guess, the video shows the sort of savagery that causes Noam Chomsky to shit himself when contemplating society without a government.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Buy that man a beer!

    2. Vhyrus

      That man is braver than I and has significantly more upper body strength.

  15. Caput Lupinum

    Since our “normal” afternoon links staffer has blown up his computer… or office… or done something equivalent of which the details are vague

    I was tempted to make a tasteless joke on that to segue into the following, but I fear the wrath of Swiss:

    A man has triggered a small explosion in Brussels Central Station, a spokesman for the Belgian federal police told the BBC.

    1. AlexinCT

      I bet this was another Amish attack…

      1. The Last American Hero

        Maybe next time The English won’t fuck with Lebanon Levi and his crew. Oh wait, Brussels. Probably not the Amish.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Do the Amish drink a lot? Because Levi appears to have a bad case of the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

          1. The Last American Hero

            According to Wiki, Levi was not actually “baptized Amish”, so he may in fact be English. Maybe that’s the big twist/reveal that will come up in later seasons.

          2. ArchieBunker

            That awful show is still on? I found it amusing till about 10 episodes in. After that it got too retarded

          3. Trolleric the Goth

            yeah, I thought it up and ended after that last season where they followed Levi around while he bitched about Tom Corbett being a garbage governor

    2. Rasilio

      Yeah in Europe they SJW so hard that when they get triggered they blow up

    3. C. Anacreon

      Fuck. We were in that station just last summer after taking a train through the Chunnel, to a wedding in Brussels. The patrols had some major weaponry all over the place, because of EU HQ. Surprised it could happen despite that.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    I just want to know what sort of foul-tempered rabbit kitten has to be handled with those welding gloves. Was the guy afraid the kitten was going to lick all the skin off his thumb?

    1. Vhyrus

      Um, you’ve obviously never had any experience with a feral kitten. They are woodchippers with eyes.

      1. Mad Scientist

        The is true. The Rabbit of Caerbannog was friendly in comparison to a feral cat.

    2. The Last American Hero

      Look at the BONES!!!!

    3. Tulip

      You’ve never met my cat. When my neighbor pet sits, he wears welding gloves. My cat likes him.

  17. Rufus the Monocled

    Right after that piece of youtube propaganda there was a video from RT News reporting thousands protest anti-immigration in Italy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8jpC9CuqJQ

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Notice how they’re depicted as ‘far right’ protestors.

  18. Dread pirate Robert

    http://www.philly.com/philly/business/cannabis/pa-medical-marijuana-industry-launches-today-20170620.html?mobi=true

    Pennsylvania just held a lottery run by an anonymous secret council to get a license to grow weed. Applicants paid a non-refundable 10k. Bonus lottery points if you are a minority. Former secretary of the department of environmental protection slash current governor crony was lucky enough to win

    1. AlexinCT

      Yeah, I call that rigged…

      1. Dread pirate Robert

        It’s ok. Governer’s office assured everyone it’s not rigged

        1. AlexinCT

          Well, in that case…

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Where did I put my shocked face again?

      It’s kind of worn out but it should still work.

    3. Mad Scientist

      Inconceivable!

    4. Caput Lupinum

      Asked about the optics of the governor’s onetime policy czar landing a coveted license to grow medical cannabis, Wolf spokesman J.J. Abbott said that no one from the governor’s office participated in scoring applications. He also noted that the scoring process was specifically set up to be objective and to prevent any outside influence or lobbying in deciding who gets a license.

      In other news, J.J. Abbott has a bridge he’d like to sell, if anyone is interested.

      1. R C Dean

        Let’s see all the applications, scoring, etc. to see if this story has a prayer of holding up under the light of day.

        Because let’s face it – PA has a storied reputation for squeaky-clean governance. Its just hard to believe something like this would be rigged.

        1. Caput Lupinum

          I have no idea what you’re talking about. The governance of my commonwealth is beyond reproach!*

          *only when compared to our neighbors

          1. Pan Zagloba

            I thought you were going to say

            *because words do not exist to reproach it

          2. Caput Lupinum

            Being next to New York, New Jersey, and Maryland let’s Harrisburg get away with a lot of shit they otherwise wouldn’t be able to.

            Our government is corrupt, but we have criminal governors far less often than our neighbors.

          3. “Let’s”?

            That’s even worse than “yinz”.

          4. Caput Lupinum

            I’m from Scranton, ainah? We dun talk dat gud most times.

    5. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Former secretary of the department of environmental protection slash current governor crony was lucky enough to win

      I’m certain it was a coincidence.

    6. Q Continuum

      Boy, how come I never have politically connected friends?

    7. Sean

      It’s totally legit. I heard the secret council was made up of Kathleen Kane, Chaka Fattah, John Street, & Seth Williams.

      1. PBRstreetgang

        Rob McCord was disappointed to be left off the invite

  19. Gilmore

    “The men were on the Russian side for maybe 15 minutes. Across the border they had drunk several cans of beer,” Finnish Border Guards investigator Timo Hakkinen said.

    I only really know like 2 finnish names. One is a famous rally car driver, and his name is Timo Hakkinen.
    (*correction: Makkinen.

    **the other is a pornstar. and i don’t even know her last name.

    ***the first Timo Hakkinen i found online is a Death Metal drummer. I’m going to bet that finland has the highest # of Death Metal bands (*and rally drivers) per capita on earth.

    1. Pan Zagloba


      “The men were on the Russian side for maybe 15 minutes. Across the border they had drunk several cans of beer,”

      “This, however, was insufficient and they were forced to leave Russia.”

      1. John Titor

        Russian logic: “Yeah, I’ll like to order a beer.”

        “Oh, coming right up…madam.”

    2. Vhyrus

      Rule #1 of rally: To finish, you must be Finnish.

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        Aw, how Swede.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Norway is this going any further!

          1. I wouldn’t Dane to make such puns.

          2. R C Dean

            Well done. I was trying to come up with a Dane pun and failed.

          3. Here is one for all of you

            *Narrows gaze*

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Timo Hakkinen?

      He played for the Minnesota North Stars, right Tundra?

      1. Tundra

        Kari Takko.

      2. Dread pirate Robert

        Kimo timonen was an underrated defender

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          That I agree with!

    4. JD

      Don’t forget the original “Flying Finn” Raunto Aaltonen.

      1. JD

        Rauno Aaltonen. Blame Motor Sport Magazine for the typo.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Sebilius?

    5. Pan Zagloba

      Every American should know Lauri Torni a.k.a Larry Thorne.

      I mean, serving with Germans doesn’t speak much of his character (other than “hates Commies so much) but he was probably among top-three Finnish badasses of WW2. Not sure he deserves #1 over Simo Hayha, except his name is easier to spell.

    6. thrakkorzog

      I would expect the gun nuts around here to know about Simo Häyhä aka The White Death, history’s deadliest sniper.

    7. one true athena

      So I’d guess Teemu Selanne has a variant spelling for Timo. He’s ‘our” LA-famous Finns. he did some fun interviews on the radio here. seems like a decent dude.

      oh, wait, Esa-Pekka Salonen, former conductor/music director for the LA Phil is Finnish, too. So I know of two, and one isn’t a Timo/Teemu.

    8. Chipwooder

      My all-time favorite Finnish name was the former Rangers defenseman Reijo Ruotsalainen. Rexy could skate like the wind.

      Since every Finn I am aware of is a hockey player, other fun ones were Saku Koivu, Jyrki Lumme, Mikko Makela, Teppo Numinen, and Lauri “The Korpedo” Korpikoski.

    9. Don’t forget J. R. R. Tolkien, honorary Finn:

      “Although he never visited Finland and does not seem to have met any native speakers, Tolkien became captivated by the language. In 1955 he told the poet WH Auden that discovering Finnish had been like “entering a complete wine-cellar filled with bottles of an amazing wine of a kind and flavour never tasted before”. But he had to admit that he had “never learned Finnish well enough to do more than plod through a bit of the original like a schoolboy…”…

      “Dr Riitta-Liisa Valijarvi, senior teaching fellow in Finnish Language at University College London…notices a particular trend among the students who choose to learn Finnish. “They tend to like heavy metal music and fantasy fiction,” she laughs. Some of her students have even taught themselves Tolkien’s fictional Elvish tongues. “I have not done this myself, but I do recognise the look and feel of the language,” she says.”

      1. Oops, shouldn’t be ellipses between the two paragraphs

      2. “Tolkien used numerous plot elements from the Kalevala in his own novels – a powerful magical object, incest, battles between brothers, and orphan heroes setting out on quests.”

  20. Vhyrus

    And I’m pretty sure you’re referring to Tommi Makinen, AKA God Emperor of Rally.

    1. Vhyrus

      And I’m pretty sure I misthreaded the fuck out of that.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Gilmore understands.

    2. Gilmore

      there are a plethora of Flying Finns

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timo_M%C3%A4kinen

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Applicants paid a non-refundable 10k. Bonus lottery points if you are a minority.

    Wait, what?

    How the fuck does that work?

    1. R C Dean

      Bonus points, applications scored – doesn’t sound like a lottery at all to me.

    2. Lachowsky

      It’s a scheme to transfer money from the people to the state with end result being a licensing system designed to enrich the cronies of the state government.
      Don’t you even government bro?

  22. Q Continuum

    Speaking of cucks, I recently found out that one of my oldest friends is into this:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candaulism

    They apparently put out ads on “adult dating sites” (whatever that means) so that he can watch various strange men bang his wife. It is completely unappealing to him to “turn the tables” so to speak, and have sex with other women. The main thing he gets out of this is watching them do it unprotected and watch the, erm, results ooze out (gross). This is someone whom I’ve known for 20 years and his telling me this over drinks was akin to someone coming out of the closet. I certainly don’t judge him, it just comes out of left field and makes me wonder if there is something in his past that inculcated this particular fetish. Or not. The only thing I can conclude is that we live in one crazy-ass world and I suppose it takes all types.

    1. Vhyrus

      It’s called ‘hot wife’ and it’s not terribly uncommon. It is the truest definition of cuckold.

      1. Rasilio

        Depends, in the BDSM community the term cuckold specifically refers to a type of sub who is into being humiliated as his woman is being taken by another man, it does not refer to Doms who show how thoroughly they own the female sub that they can dictate who she has sex with and when.

        Basically it is only the truest definition of cuck if he is humiliated by the action and specifically seeks out that humiliation

    2. John Titor

      Explains why /r/WouldYouFuckMyWife exists.

      1. Vhyrus

        What are you filling in for HM? No of course not, because there is no link to click that would get me fired.

    3. Jefe Hayek

      I would judge the fugg out of that. Who doesn’t enjoy a good cuck pr0n every now and then? But what kind of weirdo wants to be the husband in that scenario?

      I just don’t get it

      1. Q Continuum

        Can’t say I do either. It took me aback when he told me so I did some research once I got home. There are various evolutionary theories why a male might enjoy this type of thing, but I must be missing that part of the brain. I just can’t envision deriving pleasure from that particular scenario. Apparently they were married for about a year before he talked her into doing it and she was really reluctant. Now she can’t get enough and a big part of the fun for them is setting up these “dates” together. SMH.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          “There are various evolutionary theories why a male might enjoy this type of thing”

          And by “might”, you mean “absolutely would not”?

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Do we take evopsych seriously now?

          2. Caput Lupinum

            Eh, it isn’t as fun without John ranting on about how evil it is.

          3. John Titor

            Wait, what? Is this like the body armour thing where John is just irrationally furious at something for no real reason?

          4. Caput Lupinum

            He claimed it nullified free will somehow, was incompatible with his vision of God, and was the devil science. I’m paraphrasing somewhat, but not much.

          5. jesse.in.mb

            God, I’d forgotten about that coming up.

          6. Vhyrus

            So pretty much exactly the body armor (no ‘u’ you damn heathens) argument with different nouns in the blanks.

          7. F. Stupidity Jr.

            +1 fucking half-wit

            One of my favorite John things was his inability to use a common contraction in a very familiar phrase. Every time it came up, he would express the phrase this way

            because fuck you, that is why

            If he used “that’s”, I never saw it.

          8. Vhyrus

            Brent Spiner approves.

          9. John Titor

            So pretty much exactly the body armor (no ‘u’ you damn heathens

            It’s the Queen’s English, you’re just renting it, so we expect you to use it properly, rebel scum.

            My favourite John rhetoric trick is the one where he attempts to manipulate you by explaining how smart you usually are and what-not followed up by calling you an idiot.

          10. Playa Manhattan

            Male lions kill cubs that aren’t their own. Same principle in people.

          11. Rasilio

            Except it rather isn’t because human females are not female lions and if a human male tried that his odds of banging the mom in question (or really most any woman nearby) become 0.

          12. Florida Man

            People kill lion cubs that aren’t theirs?

          13. Playa Manhattan

            1) I made the most abstract example possible and you took it literally.

            2) Are you sure this was the case 25,000 years ago? Civilization isn’t that old, you know.

        2. Vhyrus

          Is she cute? Asking for a friend.

          1. Q Continuum

            She is attractive; if I met her in a bar as a stranger I would be interested. As this story unfolded I was really, really hoping it was not ramping up to his asking me to join in. Regardless of how good looking she is, no amount of Viagra would make that possible for me. Fortunately, they only go for strangers.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            “Sooooo, Q. Wanna bang my wife?’

          3. Q Continuum

            I’ll sign you up Rufus. How can he get in contact with you?

          4. Playa Manhattan

            Look for the well dressed French looking dude yelling at clouds.

          5. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            What bars does she frequent? Asking because I’m a drunk.

        3. Jefe Hayek

          I suppose part of the thrill is seeing your wife being that sexually adventurous. That is, women don’t always feel comfortable enjoying sex in the same way men do and this kind of makes your wife into a porn star or whatever.

          *extreme Larry David* HAVING SAID THAT, I would prefer my wife be sexually adventurous with me. jmo

    4. Playa Manhattan

      There absolutely has to be something in his past.

      We are biologically hard wired to prevent exactly that.

      1. Q Continuum

        That is what I would have thought too. I didn’t want to pry because it was obviously very difficult for him to open up about it.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          In all fairness he’s probably getting off a bit on telling you. There’s generally an exhibitionism a need for humiliation component to this cluster of fetishes (not to say it wasn’t actually difficult).

          1. Q Continuum

            You have a point there, otherwise why would he have told me at all? I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing this and been perfectly fine. I don’t know the outrageous kinks of any of my other friends, so perhaps this confession was all part of it?

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Eh. He could’ve just wanted validation or something, or been feeling you out for a go-around. I know you said they only do strangers, but who knows, you might be good looking or known to be well endowed or something and they could want that more than they want their rules, or the rules were made up to make you feel comfortable when your sphincter obviously tightened in the telling.

            And some people just have a really terrible time at discretion or been told all their lives that they have to tell things to people or else explode. It could be totally innocent.

          3. Q Continuum

            I guess I’ll see what happens. If he keeps bringing it up, then I’ll really start to be suspicious that he’s trying to get me involved. I don’t have it in me to have sex in front of my friend, let alone with his wife. I just don’t want things to be awkward in the future.

          4. jesse.in.mb

            At that point he’s (probably) actively involving you in his sex life. A “Hey I appreciate that you trust me this much, and I support you and your wife being sexually adventurous, but this is more detail than *I* can handle…can we talk about ANYTHING else.”

            Is a good mix of humor and firmness in my opinion. If he doesn’t respect that then go firmer.

          5. Q Continuum

            Good call.

          6. FreeSociety

            But not too firm….

    5. jesse.in.mb

      Is that that unusual? I’ve run into a variant of it where someone wants to come over and bring panties or pictures of their wife or girlfriend and know that you’re getting off on it. I generally assume it’s someone who is bi, but heavily repressed or distorted his interest in guys to the point where it was “acceptable.”

      /armchair sexologist

      1. grrizzly

        That sounds like a plausible explanation. But I might be biased.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Yeah. I’m probably encountering a pretty specific subset of folks myself. That last time I dealt with this it was a bi guy who the last time he’d gotten boned by anything other than a toy was when he had a better-endowed bull over to bang his wife and the bull did him as well, but he was looking to get a bit more action independently. Nothing ever came of it, but it was interesting hearing his story. I find people’s …quirks fascinating.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            I assume that “bull” is some kind of trendy hybrid breed of dog?

            I’m always the last to know.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Shush you.

          3. Pomp

            Bull is a character from the show Night Court

          4. Viking1865

            Nah I’m with you on that Jesse. I think a healthy portion of your cuck fetish guys have a repressed desire to experiment with men, and the whole cuck thing is a way to get a cock into their sex lives without them actually admitting to their desire. Particularly the more hardcore stuff, it kinda gives the game away.

    6. Gilmore

      his telling me this over drinks was akin to someone coming out of the closet.

      i think being gay is actually “normal sexuality”, albeit with your own sex.

      that thing you describe, on the other hand, is some weird fucked up shit.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Oh God, what if he was subtly probing QC to see if he’s interested? :O

      2. Everybody has a fetish that, if you described it, the people around you would think of as “some weird fucked up shit”.

        (No, I’m not telling you mine.)

        1. jesse.in.mb
          1. Playa Manhattan

            Trying to have a Down’s baby isn’t a fetish.

        2. Gilmore

          Everybody has a fetish

          pretty sure that’s not the case.

          everyone has particular tastes, but i don’t think they cross the line into ‘fetish’ until they’ve actually developed some compulsive need to exorcise it.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Technically correct, but I doubt anyone is mistaking the more colloquial fetish=kink formulation for legitimate compulsive fetishization.

      3. Certified Public Asshat

        Is that the next step?

        “Hey honey, looks like you need some help with this one.”

        ???

      4. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Higher intelligence comes with a few caveats. That said, if you’re into it and your wife is, go for it.

    7. Caput Lupinum

      …so you banged his wife, right? Why else would he tell you?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        My brain should have gone there immediately, but it didn’t.

        Also, is she hot?

        1. Q Continuum

          See above response to Vhyrus for both questions.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            OK, so I have another question. This could be win-win for both of us. You get to bang, and I get my answer.

            What if you only banged her in the butt? Would he still like it? Or is it the simulated breeding that he gets off on?

            YOU HAVE ONE WEEK

          2. Q Continuum

            I’ll add that to my list of follow-up questions.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Scientific experiment, not question.

          4. Q Continuum

            Ah. I’ll drive over there with a bucket o’ Crisco tonight then.

          5. jesse.in.mb

            Are you fucking her or fisting her b-hole there Q?

          6. Q Continuum

            “Be prepared”

          7. Playa Manhattan

            ^^this guy gets it

        2. Dr. Fronkensteen

          Ok my first thought too. But that would require a libertarian minded person not picking up on social cues. What are the odds of that.

        3. Rufus the Monocled

          And you call yourselves glibertarians? You should have immediately thought that. And worse.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            This was a bit of a curveball. I actually had to think for a second.

    8. Chipwooder

      My perusal of Pornhub (strictly for research purposes, of course) has enlightened me that this isn’t that uncommon a fetish, because there are a metric asston of videos with this theme. I don’t get it myself, but whatever.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        How many of those are real?

        How do you know they just don’t pay some hookers or know of some random whore to perform for a few bucks?

        Asking for my wife.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          On pornhub? *get out calculator*

          Carry the one, round down to 3 significant figures…

          EXACTLY NONE

        2. Jefe Hayek

          Most of them look like camcorder footage of “work hot” level women in just average hotels, so probably a fair amount.

          I mean, I guess

        3. Chipwooder

          Oh, I don’t think the videos are real, just that there is an audience for that kind of thing.

      2. Worker and Parasite

        But not an imperial asston?

      3. I too have learned a lot from PornHub. For instance, apparently fathers are just fine seeing their daughters get railed, so long as they get to bang one of their friends.

        1. Vhyrus

          Apparently ‘step father’ is code for ‘I get to bang them both’ according to pornhub.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          That, and all women love taking it right in the face. It’s a sign of respect.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            Every time I had a new girlfriend I was starting to get serious about, my sister would ask me that. “Will she take it on the face? Because if she doesn’t, that should be a hint to you that maybe she’s not all that committed.”

            My dad raised pigs for kids.

          2. I laughed. A lot.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Is that kosher?

    9. Vhyrus

      I don’t think it’s that weird to get off on the idea that other men find your mate attractive. Sure he is taking it several steps beyond that but at it’s core that’s whats really going on.

      1. Drake

        When I think my buddy has married well, I just say so. Or, joking at a party, I tell her to blink twice if he’s kidnapped her.

        1. Q Continuum

          You don’t ask to have sex with her while he watches?

          1. Drake

            Uh no. That would be a friendship ender and probably a fight-starter if I got such an offer.

      2. Rasilio

        As I said above, it depends. From years of exposure to the BDSM community I generally find that there are 4 types of guys who get off on their spouse being with other guys

        Cuckolds – They actually don’t like her having sex with other guys but they are turned on by being humiliated by it. They generally prefer to watch and/or listen as she negatively compares him to the guy riding her or is forced to serve them or do chores while they are having fun or similar stuff.

        Control Doms – They tell her where, when, and with whom she will have sex and they get off on her being like their own living sex doll. Some will also get off on her being slutty enough to enjoy it, others would rather she be somewhat against it (within the realm of her consent boundaries) .

        Hotwifers – Usually somewhat exhibitionists they like showing off how slutty and sexy their wife is. They differ from Cucks in that they are not embarrassed and if you tried to humiliate him or embarrass him over it that would put an end to the fun for all and they differ from Control Doms in that she has all or at least nearly full control over who gets invited to join in.

        Bi or Heteroflexible guys – This one is pretty obvious, they enjoy the presence of another cock as much as she does, maybe more.

        After that there is a fairly large number of guys who don’t specifically get off on their spouse being with someone else but aren’t particularly bothered by it either and either enjoy group sex, swinging, wife swapping, or are in an open or poly relationship where both are free to play with others in some way shape or form.

        And yes before anyone asks (although I know I mentioned this at the other place and may have here as well) I fall into category 3 with a smattering of 2 and 4 as well so if you are really curious as to what makes someone like this tick feel free to ask away.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          I need to get out more.

          I think.

          1. Drake

            I was just thinking the opposite.

        2. Q Continuum

          How did you get into this? Was this from the beginning of your marriage?

          1. Rasilio

            In this relationship specifically? It’s sort of always been there, she started out as my girlfriend when I was in an open relationship with my first wife.

            In a more general sense my interests here have complex origins that I probably don’t fully understand myself but I can say they include the following…

            Growing up a geek who girls wouldnt talk to (Ive literally never been on a stereotypical date with someone I wasnt already sleeping with)

            Losing my virginity in a 3some with my best friend and his wife (who was also a friend of mine before they got married).

            Preferring to hang out with weird offbeat people and long term exposure to alternate sexualities.

            Being a huge Heinlein fan and believer in non monogamy.

        3. Playa Manhattan

          I nominate you for the next article.

          1. Mad Scientist

            I’m not sure if I want the article to be illustrated, or if I really, really don’t want it to be illustrated. Probably the latter.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            I would read that. Don’t do it in August…I will be scarce.

          3. Rasilio

            If you want I could write one on the subject. Being a geek it would be way more boring than it sounds, even if parts of my life story read like penthouse letters.

    10. ArchieBunker

      Everyone has a wierd fetish. It’s just that a lot of people are too prudish to explore and find theirs. My theory anyway

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Mine is rolling around in money. Haven’t done that in a while.

        1. ArchieBunker

          Mine involved a bunny suit a can of creamed corn and a row boat paddle….

          1. Playa Manhattan

            That’s still very achievable.

        2. jesse.in.mb

          A Canadian coworker got paid out in Won at the end of his contract and since the largest denomination commonly in circulation is ~$10 he came home with a brown paper bag very tightly packed with cash.

          He agonized about whether he should throw it around and roll in it or whether he’d end up with some kind of horrible disease from doing so.

        3. Holger-da-Dane

          Would it ruin it if the currency is worthless. Like Bolivars? That is, do you go for quantity or quality?

      2. Juice

        It’s just that a lot of people are too prudish to explore and find theirs.

        Or no one else wants to explore it with you.

    11. mexican sharpshooter

      Upon reading this entire thread I am not sure if I need a drink, a cigarette or to dowse myself in holy water.

      1. westernsloper

        bleach

    12. ArchieBunker

      Made this comment earlier but the squirrels apparently ate it because it’s gone

      My theory is everyone has a kink. It’s just that most are to prudish to explore and find out what theirs is

      1. I’m just glad that all this kink talk reminded me that this exists.

    13. wdalasio

      So, what you’re saying is that one of your oldest friends is the new Ken doll?

  23. Caput Lupinum

    Applicants paid a non-refundable 10k. Bonus lottery points if you are a minority.

    Wait, what?

    How the fuck does that work?

    Like this:

    The application process requires an applicant – at a minimum – to:
    Apply for a permit with the department before growing/processing marijuana.

    Provide information in the permit application, including, but not limited to:

    description of business organization and activities;

    federal and state criminal background check;
    statement indicating the applicant is of good moral character;

    ability to maintain effective security and control to prevent diversion, abuse or other illegal conduct; and

    provide a diversity plan.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      How does that not violate equal protection, he asks rhetorically.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        It absolutely does, he answered rhetorically.

        1. Caput Lupinum

          And they get away with it, because fuck you, that’s why, he exclaimed sullenly.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Another Finnish leadfoot.

    As an old Indianapolis car builder I knew liked to say, “That guy is braver than Dick Tracy.”

    1. Mad Scientist

      Here’s Raikkonen passing him in the previous corner.

  25. ArchieBunker

    Why can’t these be Friday links???

    1. Q Continuum

      FYTW?

  26. Pan Zagloba

    For those of historical bent, Military History Visualized channel’s latest video is on Why Red Army Had Such Large Casualties During Operation Barbarossa. Really cool, and I actually met one of the guys whom he’s using as reference for the episode. Even have a signed copy of his dissertation.

    Warning: heavy Austrian accent, a possible horrible pun in the video (he uses an expression “At First Glantz”, which is either a typo, or a reference to David Glantz, one of the most important English-speaking Russia/Soviet military historians).

    1. __Warren__

      Because the tall/fat guys stood out more and made easier targets?

      1. Because Stalin had most of the officer class killed off, I’d assume.

  27. FreeSociety

    Google wants you to spend some time exploring the stories of refugees on a per-click-ad-revenue-driven media outpost it just happens to own.

    One of the videos there is titled “How do you build a refugee camp?”.

    I don’t think they give the truthful answer that first you abandon your borders, then you expropriate some land from the natives, then you expropriate some wealth in the form of money to finance the inevitably squalid living conditions in the camp and hand out the rest to the “refugees” in the form of welfare, which then attracts more “refugees”, which then make conditions in the camp worse, then you go back to the tax payer and demand more money from them by berating them for being so cruel as to allow the “refugees” to live like this, you then give more money to “refugees”, which attracts yet more of them. Once the gang rapes, terrorism and assorted violent crimes get rolling, you tell the natives to shut up and swallow the delicious cultural enrichment juice you’ve provided to them. Rinse and repeat until your security state is robust and free speech is kept to a minimum vis a vis hate speech codes. Now your society is permanently plagued by social problems which will be blamed on the natives and this will continue on until your government is utterly monstrous and your society is unrecognizable. Congrats! Now you can sit back and relax until you die childless along with the rest of your culture and the civilization that was hard-fought for to be passed to you by your ancestors.

    1. FreeSociety

      Oh here’s a good one

      Farhad’s Story, A Young Afghan Artist Stranded in Serbia

      He’s stranded in Serbia, did you know that? He fled Afghanistan to go somewhere better, but because Serbia doesn’t offer the generous welfare bennies to be found in Northern and Western Europe, he’s STRANDED. He’s stuck there. In the hellish purgatory that exists between the backwards hellhole he’s from and the tax payer funded welfare state utopia that he deserves. Stranded in Serbia, I think I’m going to cry I feel so bad for his predicament!

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Given that I got out of there as soon as I could, I don’t blame him. I mean, it’s better than Afghanistan, I guess…

        1. FreeSociety

          If Serbia is safe and yet this isn’t good enough, then he isn’t a refugee and the video is globalist propaganda.

          1. Q Continuum

            Agreed. Refugee implies fleeing strife that would put your life or liberty in peril. Once you’re out of that peril, you should be satisfied that the host country is letting you stay.

          2. FreeSociety

            #WelfareForFarhad

          3. __Warren__

            I’d prefer Farhad, because Nearhad is a bit of a prick.

          4. FreeSociety

            zing

      2. __Warren__

        If he’s an artist shouldn’t he be like basking in his suffering? It can only make his art that much deeper and relevant.

      3. Gilmore

        I MUST GO TO SWITZERLAND. THERE THEY HAVE STREETS MADE OF GOLD AND ENDLESS FONDUE

        [meanwhile its actually the Serbs who are currently housing and feeding you]

        the entire premise of these videos seems to be “everyone on earth deserves to live in Paris”

        1. FreeSociety

          And certainly not on their own dime!

        2. THE ENDLESS FONDUE IS A LIE!

    2. Drake

      When I get shit for opposing the whole “refugee” nonsense ask this question.

      If BMWs exploded with the same frequency and fatalities as Muslim refugees, would the government allow them to be imported?

      1. FreeSociety

        Yeah but I personally like BMWs and it makes me sad to see them driving all those fucking speed bumps in Germany. We have to help the BMWs! Maybe pick a better example, jeeze.

        1. Drake

          Well VW took it up the tailpipe hard for fudging some emissions tests. Imagine if one of them just exploded killing a bunch of people once a week.

          1. FreeSociety

            Well what VW did is basically genocide.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        Yes for the US, they pretty much do. I.e., almost never, Takata notwithstanding.

        Europe may be a different story (most of their splodeys seem to be locally born anyway), but Europe ain’t the US.

        1. R C Dean

          If a BMW was exploding somewhere in the world every week or so, would anyone object to a moratorium on their import? I doubt it.

          Now, you could go to the rate of explosions and risk of one exploding and all that, but somehow I doubt anyone would say “Well, geez, even though BMWs are pretty much the only car that explodes, they hardly ever blow up, so sure, we’ll take all you care to send us.” That might even be the rational position, but I think its interesting that some people who wouldn’t hesitate to ban the import of (relatively) dangerous cars are adamantly opposed to any limitation on importing (relatively) dangerous people, and even insist on subsidizing their import.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            How about “If you want to assume the risk of driving a BMW, then pay for importing one yourself. The government should neither subsidize your choice, nor prevent you from exercising it”?

          2. R C Dean

            I could go along with that. One issue, though – how does someone assume the risk of importing a terrorist? Under our criminal system, we couldn’t hold them truly responsible without giving them a criminal conviction, but unless they were actually actively involved in the ‘sploding, we couldn’t.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            how does someone assume the risk of importing a terrorist?

            I would support revoking the ability of an individual or organization from sponsoring further refugees if their vetting process fails and one of their wards develops Sudden Jihad Syndrome.

          4. wdalasio

            Why does it have to be a criminal conviction and not just financial liability?

          5. Vhyrus

            Fewer samsung smartphones exploded last year than muslims and they demanded all of them be removed from the general population and destroyed.

          6. Hyperion

            Yeah, but Samsung engineers can make a washing machine blow up.

            Samsung > terrorists, BMW

      3. Gilmore

        If BMWs exploded with the same frequency and fatalities as Muslim refugees, would the government allow them to be imported?

        I’m stealing that

  28. Rufus the Monocled

    Soave left Reason?

    Lenore too?

    What’s going on?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Left? Or have freelance work elsewhere?

      Because it that’s true, there is no god.

      God would have fired Dalmia.

      1. Vhyrus

        Apparently Soave wrote an OpEd for the NYTimes.

        Cause when I think ‘objective libertarian sources’, the times just JUMPS RIGHT OUT AT ME!

          1. Oh, I almost missed this Soavian passage:

            “By finding Ms. Carter guilty of involuntary manslaughter — rather than some lesser misdeed, such as bullying or harassment — the court has dealt a blow to the constitutionally enshrined idea that speech is not, itself, violence. That’s cause for concern.”

          2. Q Continuum

            “To be sure”

          3. Rufus the Monocled

            Is that Soave’s way of saying speech can be violence?

          4. Saying the charge she was convicted on was too severe is in effect a sentencing argument, and First Amendment issues are starker than that…the speech is either protected or it’s not.

          5. At least that was my gut reaction but there may be established exceptions I haven’t thought about.

          6. Gilmore

            I have not read his entire Op-Ed in detail, nor have i followed the details of that “teen girl guilty of texting” thing…

            … but the impression i got was that she was convicted of involuntary manslaughter NOT because of what she said, but because of her failure to act to intervene or to inform others.

            basically, i think Robby (as usual) is entirely misunderstanding the nature of why the ruling is bad. YES, the ruling is bad, but not for the reasons he says. The texts helped convict her, but she wasn’t convicted of ‘telling someone something illegal’ – the texts were simply proof of her own callous disregard

            The actual statement by the Judge =

            Judge Lawrence Moniz said during a 15-minute explanation of his rationale.
            “She admits in … texts that she did nothing: She did not call the police or Mr. Roy’s family” after hearing his last breaths during a phone call, Moniz said. “And, finally, she did not issue a simple additional instruction: Get out of the truck.”

            the judgement is not about “chilling speech”, as per Robby’s shallow analysis; its about criminalizing “Inaction”. which vastly expands the notion of negligence. Normally (to my knowledge) that kind of ruling would only be possible if someone were physically present with the person ‘at risk’. because it would have to show *capability* to intervene.

          7. Gilmore

            ** he does further add that her ‘actions’ also bear some responsibility

            This court has found that Carter’s actions and failure to act where it was her self-created duty to Roy since she put him in that toxic environment constituted reckless conduct,” the judge said. “The court finds that the conduct caused the death of Mr. Roy.”

            i’m just not sure that the emphasis on her actions were as legally significant as the emphasis placed on inaction – because i think MA has a more liberally-defined stature re: negligence. meaning, i think ‘shit she said’ alone wouldn’t have convicted her. tho i aint no lawyer neither.

          8. Thank you, I was even less informed about the case, that makes more sense.

          9. westernsloper

            Inaction is criminalized at sea. One is required to give aid, relay a call for aid, or do what they can when they know of others in distress. They are not required to be present, just hear the mayday and proceed to the distressed vessel if location was given. I am not sure about requiring that at road accidents and what not and especially suicide threats, but ya, that brings a new realm of things into law.

            If you drive by an accident can you be prosecuted for not calling the cops?

          10. Vhyrus

            If you drive by a burning building do you have to roll down your window and scream “HEY GET OUT OF THERE!” so you won’t get convicted of manslaughter?

          11. Gilmore

            If you drive by an accident can you be prosecuted for not calling the cops?

            I vaguely recall reading about this once.

            i think its one of these bizarre scenarios where if you just drive by something = no. But if you actually stop to check out the situation and then abandon the scene, you can be prosecuted.

            i think it is contingent on the same above idea of “self-created duty” that the judge mentions. Once you’ve voluntarily stuck yourself into the situation, you create an opportunity for liability. Which perversely disincentivizes aid-giving by non-professionals, obviously. but i think it varies state-by-state. Its a weird category of law, and i think its very rarely prosecuted because it requires some very iffy claims about people’s state-of-mind at the time of the event. I think the reason the above girl was screwed by her texts is because they showed exactly that. if she’d ignored the suicidal guy, she probably could have avoided prosecution for ‘inaction’. but because she was clearly making herself part of his suicide attempt, she created liability.

          12. westernsloper

            The girl is a first rate heartless cunt. There is no doubt of that, and as you explain that there, I am not seeing how there is not precedent for the judges decision. I am not sure if I agree with it or not being a believer in the rules of the road at sea but….

            Thinking about it…….I do disagree. Why is a person responsible for anothers actions or situation? Fuck that. Personal responsibility or GTFO.

          13. Agent Cooper

            The Massachusetts statute includes that in its description of involuntary manslaughter. In this case, the law is the problem.

        1. John Titor

          Meh, Soave’s work is about on par with a Times OpEd, “Post lecturing title, follow up with poorly written article that fails to support its central argument effectively, continue to be entirely smug despite your incompetence.”

          1. Drake

            Sprinkle in doses of virtue signalling throughout – particularly if he’ll be making a point that might offend host of a party.

        2. Q Continuum

          Soave was always just biding his time until he could make the jump to one of those dinosaur publications. He’s free to unshackle is true prog-ness now.

    2. Raston Bot

      his twitter bio says he’s an editor for Reason still.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Robbo is on a leave writing a book about…something (Milennial political organizing? some other shit I can’t be arsed to look up?)

      Skenazi is a contributor, I think, not a staff member.

    4. John Titor

      Soave’s on leave to write a book, which for normal people would mean he’s busy doing research, but for him it means he’s getting his hair done and playing Legend of Zelda games.

      1. Caput Lupinum

        Don’t besmirch Zelda by linking it to the hair that wishes it were a man.

        1. But Enough About Me

          the hair that wishes it were a man

          Derivative, but I’ll allow it under “over-riding public interest.”

    5. FreeSociety

      He left temporarily, supposedly. I don’t remember why. I think he said something about a road trip to hit up every cocktail party in the country. But alas, his kind will be seen again.

      1. Drake

        Hope he doesn’t get a flat.

    6. Gilmore

      he’s on sabbatical

      1. Playa Manhattan

        The holy day, eh?

    1. But Enough About Me

      That’s actually quite brilliant.

  29. Juvenile Bluster

    Dashcam footage of the murder of Philando Castile. If this didn’t result in the officer being convicted, there’s really no way I can think of where an officer will be convicted of an on-duty murder.

    1. Vhyrus

      I almost choked on the sheer volume of bullshit quoted in that article.

      “Uh but uh as that was happening as he was pulling at, out his hand I thought, I was gonna die and I thought if he’s, if he has the, the guts and the audacity to smoke marijuana in front of the five year old girl and risk her lungs and risk her life by giving her secondhand smoke and the front seat passenger doing the same thing then what, what care does he give about me?”

      Do they teach advanced murder conviction evasion techniques in police academy now?

      1. Worker and Parasite

        One day, smoking the reefer in front of a kid, next day, murdering every cop they see. It’s how the devil weed works.

      2. R C Dean

        Christ what a pussy. He sees a guy “pulling his hand out” and he thinks he’s going to die.

        Yeah, he really was so worked up about the risk of second hand smoke that he figured the guy was a stone killer. Smoking around other people is just like pointing a gun at them and pulling the trigger.

        How anybody could listen to that and think “Yeah, this guy is telling the truth” is just beyond me. But, even if everything he said is true, he should be fired because he is obviously not suited to be a cop. The rule should be, even for cops, unless and until you see a weapon and some reason to think it is about to be used, keep your dick in your pants, Rambo.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Even when cops talk about firing their own guns they do it in passive voice. Also note he used all the correct magic words. Also note the last sentence. Really do note the last sentence.

      “And at that point I was scared and I was in fear for my life and my partner’s life. And for the little girl in the back and the front seat passenger and he dropped his hand down and I can’t remember what I was telling him but I was telling him something as his hand went down I think.”

      He said that because Castile appeared to have been smoking marijuana he may have kept the gun for protection from a drug dealer or someone trying to “rip” from him.

      Castile appeared to be grabbing something, “almost like if I were to put a hand around my gun.”

      Then he fired.

      “I remember smelling the gun smoke and the bright flashes from the muzzle. And then I heard, a couple pops from my firearm.”

      He said he tried to point the gun away from the little girl in the back seat.

      1. Juice

        And at that point I was scared and I was in fear for my life and my partner’s life. And for the little girl in the back and the front seat passenger

        You feared for the safety of the little girl, that’s why you only fired 6 rounds instead of unloading the whole damned thing.

    3. Drake

      There’s no way I would ever ever volunteer to a cop that I was carrying or even owned a gun. Holy shit

      1. Vhyrus

        I certainly don’t mention it unless asked. I got pulled over on memorial day and the cop noticed I was carrying. I carry on my left side so he simply opened the door and took the gun out of the holster. I’m glad that’s all he did.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        I believe the NRA tells you let officers know if you’re stopped while carrying concealed.

        The NRA has also said nothing about this case, because they’re a bunch of copsuckers on a level that would make Tulpa blush.

        1. Drake

          Fuck that.

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            Sounds about right. A lot of people are saying it’s about the NRA being racist. It’s not. It’s just that the NRA is so tied into “SUPPORT THE COPZ!” that they wouldn’t dare say anything about this. Which is also why I refuse to support them in the slightest.

            Can I give them like a $5 donation that causes them to send me so many materials and newsletters and solicitations that my donation actually costs them money?

          2. Vhyrus

            I am a current member and there is a damn good chance I won’t be renewing. They called me something like 30 times in 2 months, after I had already renewed my membership. I told them the last time until the HPA or some equivalent passes they are not getting a dime and to stop calling me.

          3. Viking1865

            I let it lapse, might renew if they send me a letter with a cool free gift.

            I told them the last time until the HPA or some equivalent passes

            I’m of the same mind.

            Acceptable Moderate Compromise Bill

            1. Stake in the Heart of ‘Sporting Purpose’.
            2. Suppressors off NFA
            3. Repeal Hughes Amendment
            4. Change NFA Tax to 20 dollars.
            5. Change NFA background check to standard NICS check.

            If the NRA gets Donny Two Scoops to sign that bill, they will get a life membership and Donny gets my vote in 2020.

          4. Drake

            I have to be a member in order to be a member at my gun range. But I do like Viking – let it expire, then decide if I want the range bag, folding knife, or fancy flashlight.

          5. Vhyrus

            I love my made in china NRA range bag. Paper thin but somehow does not completely fall apart.

        2. Viking1865

          The NRA is a single issue organization. That’s why they’re so effective. They will endorse anyone who toes the line on guns. They don’t do criminal justice, they don’t do drugs, they don’t do search and seizure, they don’t do police brutality.

          1. R C Dean

            The NRA is a single issue organization.

            And is that issue “raise as much money as we can”? Because as near as I can tell, that’s what they’re good at, and not much else. Except for their (vestigial?) firearms training function. I wonder how much of their budget that is?

          2. Viking1865

            They’ve spent so long acting as the shield, they don’t have the same expertise and ability to be the sword.

            I know it’s popular among the gun community to hate the NRA, but we’re living in a time where 80% of Americans support the “ARs and Glocks” conception of the Second Amendment, 13 years after the Assault Weapons Ban expired. That’s a bill that was broadly supported public policy in 1994 that today would have 300 Representatives voting against it. The NRA didn’t do that by itself, but it was absolutely a major force in that.

            There’s a long way to go to restore the Second Amendment, but it’s in a hell of a lot better shape than the rest of the Constitution, and the NRA deserves some credit for that.

          3. R C Dean

            I have a visceral dislike of big DC based lobbying outfits, regardless. Could be coloring my perception of the NRA, but with that in mind:

            (1) They expend vast resources on the kind of fundraising that is borderline misleading and that I associate with outfits that blow 90% of their revenue on fundraising and running the organization. I’ve worked for trade associations, so I know that they are genetically predisposed to put the organization’s interest above the cause they are supposedly about.

            (2) They refused to support the 2A cases that have done more to secure our gun rights than anything else.

            (3) If they can’t evolve to recognize that this ain’t the same environment as when the Brady Bill came along, then why should I support them? The way to advance gun rights has to include more than just lobbying Congress. This is the age of lawfare – lawyers filing lawsuits to change policy. Get with the program, gramps.

            (4) Until they recognize that the foot soldiers for denying us our rights are the cops, and act accordingly, I have little use for them.

          4. Gustave Lytton

            The last time the NRA said anything about jackbooted federal thugs, they got their cocktails handed to them. For better or worse, they’re unlikely to make that same decision again.

          5. Dr Mossy Lawn

            They are definitely a money funnel for the permanent board. The VP LaPierre actually controls the money. The “presidents” are marketing figureheads, and most of the activity is to get donations that are then funneled to the mail marketing businesses (owned by LaPierre and other board members) to solicit more donation $$… I haven’t given them a dime in years. The magazine publishes the list of “recommended” board members, so it is impossible for outsiders to change the structure. All you can do now is starve it to death and give your money to GOA or one of the no compromise groups. There was a fight for control about 25 years ago… this group won and locked it down so that they could milk the gravy train.

          6. Viking1865

            1: Yeah Pournelle’s Iron Law definitely applies to all organizations, not just government bureaucracies. There’s definitely a group of people who are involved in the cause because it’s a path to power or wealth. The elected board for the most part keeps things in check.

            2: I like to think that’s them playing the MLK vs Malcom X thing “Look, Senator Reid, I have spoken to Alan Gura, but what can I say, he’s just an extremist, a real firebrand. You know how it is. He won’t listen to me.” There’s a POV that the work the SAF and other groups have done in the courts might not have happened with an explicitly ideological organization like the NRA pushing in the court of public opinion. Kind of a Briar Patch kind of con.

            3: As I said, the work the SAF and others have done has been outside the NRA. Every task has its tool, and I don’t think having an explicitly political pressure group litigating is going to work out well.

            4: Again, they will endorse the devil himself if he voted their way. Hell, they are probably responsible (along with the Clark County ballot counters) for Harry Reid remaining as Senate Majority Leader post 2010. Because they endorsed him, and he scraped 50.2% of the vote. They openly said that Reid had killed dozens of antigun bills while holding the gavel, and they wanted him to keep doing that if the Dems controlled the Senate past 2010.

          7. R C Dean

            I don’t think having an explicitly political pressure group litigating is going to work out well.

            Dunno why not. The left has been doing it very successfully for decades. Worst case, they use a cutout or just fund litigation brought by others; they don’t need to be a named party – again, this is straight out of the lawfare playbook.

          8. Viking1865

            The left has been doing it very successfully for decades.

            The rules are very different for the Left though. You can see it any political reporting. Leftist groups are always “activists” “nonprofits” or “concerned citizens.” Rightwing groups are always “conservative” “traditionalist” “industry funded”.

            Worst case, they use a cutout or just fund litigation brought by others; they don’t need to be a named party

            “The Times have learned that the NRA has been funneling thousands of dollars to the so-called “Institute for Justice”, ostensibly to fund their long running fight in the courts over the common-sense gun safety legislation passed in Albany two years ago”

            Personally, I think a right wing pushback in civil society has to be done through a cellular and decentralized model. Explicit or underground links only hurt the cause, because it plays into the VRWC narrative. Better for the SAF and the NRA to be completely separate entities, doing completely separate things.

          9. R C Dean

            The rules are very different for the Left though.

            And that won’t change until we force a change. One way to do so is by using the Left’s tactics just as they do. If people object, then force them to admit that its not appropriate for anyone to act that way. Worst case scenario- nothing changes. Best case scenario – we get a level playing field.

          10. Juice

            they don’t do police brutality

            Especially because they have so many cops as members. That’s the main reason for the silence.

          11. Viking1865

            That’s like saying the NRA is silent on gay marriage because they have so many Christians. They are silent on other issues because they are a single issue pressure group. It’s the reason they are the largest and most successful advocacy group in the country: they are about the 2A, and nothing else.

        3. AlmightyJB

          I think it’s a law in Ohio. Of course I don’t have a ccw so if I feel the need to carry I wouldn’t say squat. I’m also not going to worry about not complying with an unconstitutional law.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Oh and fuck the popo.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            Yeah, there’s a couple of states that require disclosure. Luckily not mine. Yet.

    4. Grumbletarian

      Nothing says “I’m going to be reckless and gun down a cop” like politely informing a cop of your own volition that you have a gun on your person and a permit for it.

      1. Viking1865

        The safest people in the world are American CCW holders. To my knowledge, literally every other studied large group exhibits higher crime rates. Specifically, police officers, despite their qualified immunity and their general above the law status, still have a higher crime rate then CCW holders.

        1. Vhyrus

          Cops have a higher crime rate than the general population, not that that should surprise anyone.

          I have known one or two good people that were cops. They got the fuck out within a few years of starting. Good people are not cops. Either they stop being cops or they stop being good people.

    5. Gdragon

      I thought I was going to be OK watching it but I was wrong. It’s going to be a cartoons and fuzzy animals kind of night for me, I’m done with anything serious for the day. What a nut punch.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    I find people’s …quirks fascinating.

    “Creepy” is the word I’d use, but what happens between three or more consenting adults is none of my business.

    Better that, I suppose, than finding out your wife has been out banging strangers without your knowledge or consent.

    *or, to be sure, if those roles were reversed

  31. The Late P Brooks

    And, if the goat has provided informed consent…

    1. …they you’d say “goat to it”?

    2. Vhyrus

      They don’t call me McGreggor the bar builder…

  32. KibbledKristen

    Elon Musk just ruined my evening, so fuck Tesla.

    1. Vhyrus

      go on…

      1. KibbledKristen

        SpaceX-related, and I was stuck in traffic so couldn’t pull down a relevant blog post in a timely manner.

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Are you envisioning a future where his tunnels hide important LA police chases from helicopters?

      1. __Warren__

        The Muskian Underworld keeps it’s secrets well.

      2. KibbledKristen

        I would not want to live in such a world!

    3. KibbledKristen

      My evening is un-ruined! YAY!

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Ben Cohen is in a slow speed bicycle chase in nothing but a jockstrap?

        *pictures, blushes, lowers trapper keeper in front of nethers*

        1. KibbledKristen

          Yes, please!

        2. commodious spittoon

          *googles*

          Seems a little… hirsute.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            commodious, meet Kristen.

            Ben Cohen is a baseline for hairy beefiness in Kristen’s preference hierarchy, not necessarily the ideal.

          2. KibbledKristen

            jesse’s got it right – he could use a little more fur and gut, but he’s not so bad.

  33. SP

    My day has a theme.

    This just in: Batch of Fat Cat Purry-Purry Sauce Recalled.

    1. __Warren__

      Did the sauce burns people’s meowths?

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Oh good, peanut contamination. I thought there was something wrong with peri-peri peppers or something.

      1. SP

        I did too at first! Whew!

  34. mexican sharpshooter

    So, this morning I got an email from somebody I don’t know. This isn’t unusual, but once I got around to reading the email figuring out the guy mentioned in this story sent the below link to EVERYBODY in the VA with the subject: Follow Up – Executive Action.

    A Department of Veterans Affairs official has taken the novel step of filing a Freedom of Information Act request against her own VA department in order to learn what a whistleblower has been saying about her.

    http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/veterans-affairs-official-files-foia-request-to-spy-on-whistle-blower/article/2626458

    1. Q Continuum

      Is this a scam, or the real deal?

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I don’t know anymore. Suddenly the bureaucracy appears to be run by petulant children.

        I’m not complaining, by the way.

  35. Chipping Pioneer

    I have to renew my driver’s license.

    What do Glibs think about organ donation? In principle, I’m not opposed to it. However, I’m not a fan of the organ donation system being administered by Her Majesty’s minions.

    1. STEVE SMITH HAVE JOKE ABOUT ORGAN DONATION.

      1. But seriously, like you say it sounds good in principle if you’re in a position where you, ah, don’t have any further use for your organs.

        But as for the administrative details in…Canada, is it?…I don’t know.

        1. I was parroting the Church’s line without knowing it

          “Organ donation after death is a noble and meritorious act and is to be encouraged as a expression of generous solidarity. It is not morally acceptable if the donor or his proxy has not given explicit consent.”

        2. Chipping Pioneer

          Yes, Ontario.

          1. It occurs to me you might ask a reliable doctor about the medical protocols and if they’re kosher…if so, I’d say donate.

    2. Drake

      If you die without a clear record of your wishes, they will bug your family members right after you croak. So make up your mind and let people know.

      1. Chipping Pioneer

        Good point. I don’t want some asshole badgering my family when they’re grieving. *assuming that they would grieve

        1. Drake

          Hopefully not interrupting a party…

    3. AlmightyJB

      Just do it. You might save a life. Of course that person you save could become the next Hitler.

      1. John Titor

        Joke’s on Next Hitler, my liver and lungs are strictly C-tier. Enjoy my jaundice and lung cancer shitlord!

      2. Chipping Pioneer

        Or worse … it could be one of you people.

    4. R C Dean

      Sign up for organ donation, unless you don’t want to donate your organs. Refusing to donate your organs because its a centrally controlled system makes about as much sense to me as refusing to use the public roads because they are paid for by taxes.

    5. ArchieBunker

      As parent with s kid who’s gonna need a kidney, and it’s not like there’s much option for going outside their racket, it’s a good thing.

    6. mexican sharpshooter

      Do it. Hopefully you never get into such a position but if you’re anything like me they may not find anything useable.

    7. jesse.in.mb

      Unless you can sell them off to Chinese or Brazilian organ traders somehow I don’t see the downside of donating them.

    8. Dr Mossy Lawn

      In general, organ donation is coordinated by a non profit.

      https://www.njsharingnetwork.org/

      I am listed as a donor, and you need to make sure that your next of kin know your wishes, just checking the license/card isn’t enough.

      There is a bit of “top men” meddling on lists and order, but I’ve met one of the families that my sister’s kidney went to, and I know a double lung transplant recipient. You have no idea how much better the recipient’s lives are. Being on long term dialysis is a major life issue, and after receiving the kidney their life can be closer to normal.

      That is one of the charities that I support, along with the local hospital and local ACS.

    9. I wish my estate could sell my organs after I die.

    10. westernsloper

      I am a big organ donation believer. I am one and have standing orders with my family that they should carve me up and hand out any meat that is till good when I am dead. Also, send my dead ass to the closest Doctor people University and let them carve me up too. ( I hope I am a ghost so I can hear them say, “what the fuck did this dumb ass do to himself. How did he live this long?”)

      I had one of my best friends die on a waiting list. I didn’t know it at the time. He was one of those people who did not talk publicly about his health issues.

      I do, however, believe one should be able to sell their organs at death, or arrange for it beforehand. Many people make a bunch of money on that. Might as well give the dead fucker or his/her family a bit of it.

    11. I donated a kidney, but not through the guv. I would say let your family do the bargaining.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Saying the charge she was convicted on was too severe is in effect a sentencing argument, and First Amendment issues are starker than that…the speech is either protected or it’s not.

    So- “hate speech is assault, not murder”? You did a lot better than I, I guess…. I read looked at the words in that Soave NYT thing, and couldn’t figger out what the fuck he was even trying to say.

    1. Drake

      I often wondered if he knew what he was trying to say. Or if he was just tossing a word salad.

      1. Vhyrus

        It’s Robby. He seems particularly suited to tossing salads.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          He seems particularly suited to tossing salads.

          This is belongs to the same category of insults as calling someone a cocksucker and I’ll never understand why it should be insulting. “What an asshole, bettering the world by performing oral sex on ostensibly willing parties!”

          I mean I get that it’s a dig at heteronormativity and thereby masculinity, but it just seems like a perverse thing to disincentivize for anyone with a mouth that doesn’t look like the top of a broken wine bottle.

          1. Vhyrus

            It’s a joke. Lighten up Francis.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Eh not coming down on you for it, I just think it’s a funny reality.

          3. Vhyrus

            Other than making a flippant remark, I was more taking a shot at his metrosexuality and obsession with his hair.

          4. You’re not going down on him for it either, are you?

          5. Heroic Mulatto

            He seems particularly suited to tossing salads.

            This is belongs to the same category of insults as calling someone a cocksucker and I’ll never understand why it should be insulting.

            Not enough people listen to the Buckwheat Groats.

      2. John Titor

        I’m going to go with “he’s not particularly intelligent” and “he’s a garbage writer, and thus fails to actually articulate his point correctly” as the two leading cases of confusion in regards to Soave articles.

  37. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Actual Nazi artifact comment from WaPo. Hippity, doopity, derpity:

    “There is no doubt that Trump would love to have these objects behind a secrete wall at his house. His ex-wife reported that he had many of Hitler’s writings in his nightstand. The millions of lives were lost during WWII, including half a million brave American soldiers killed by Nazis. And Trump admires Hitler. He is not my commander in chief and I have many friends in the military who feel the same way.”

    Just so fucking stupid.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Awesome! BP, I think they just wrote the next episode of Adeventures of Secret Nazi President for you!

    2. John Titor

      He is not my commander in chief and I have many friends in the military who feel the same way.

      Then if you’re military personnel you’ve openly admitted to sedition and mutiny, which carries some rather grand punishments. But somehow I’m guessing you and your ‘many friends’ are not servicemen and/or real because they’d at least have enough common sense to realize this.

    3. Akira

      An ex-wife is a credible character witness for her ex-husband??

  38. Q Continuum

    Pointless rhetorical question: why can’t these busybodies just consider the choices they make in their own lives and stop worrying so much about other people?

    https://www.commentarymagazine.com/articles/shiny-unhappy-people/

    1. “every single reason in favor of preserving virginity until marriage is sexist.”

      Sounds like a great pickup line!

      “‘What’s missing in American politics today,’ she writes, ‘is a left-of-center moral argument for sexual pleasure.’”

      1. Vhyrus

        Yes, I can’t think of any politicians or arguments that are left of center nowadays… no siree.

        1. Without reading her book, I’m guessing that she’s making an argument that the Left is just too timid to stand up to the right-wing blah blah.

          1. Vhyrus

            We have women literally wearing vagina hats on their heads and marching in the streets. Short of throwing buckets of menstrual blood I don’t exactly know where they can go from there.

          2. John Titor

            For the love of god don’t give them ideas.

          3. I’m simply generalizing from left-wing arguments I *have* read, which are often along the lines of “we lost such-and-such a battle because we refused to prog hard enough and we were too wishy-washy and moderate.”

          4. Which actually might be true for all I know…sometimes voters respect conviction and strength, even on behalf of ridiculous causes.

          5. I guess with the “Resistance” we’re going to find out if progging harder wins them more support.

          6. That’s often the argument: “The Left has simply refused to confront the Right’s lies head-on, and unless we prog harder the Right will keep controlling the narrative” etc. etc.

      2. wdalasio

        Yeah, because that whole sexual pleasure without a left-of-center moral argument just hasn’t been cutting it.

        Christ, how utterly pathetic do you have to be to need a political justification for getting off?

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Pleasurable sex should also be considered a basic healthcare right.

      I’m not sure how the government is supposed to guarantee you get your jollies in your fantasy world. Can you itemize a deduction for your Rabbit once every three years or are you going to create the Department of Fuckery?

      1. Vhyrus

        I’m pretty sure there are already many many departments of fuckery, albeit with less obvious names.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Fuckery and Explosives.

          There’s one.

      2. If it hadn’t been for a meddling judge, the U. S. government would have already been in the prostitution business.

        I envision DMV clerks moonlighting as prostitutes.

        (note: The actual DMV clerks I’ve met were generally nicer than the stereotype, which doesn’t mean that I had erotic fantasies about them)

        1. Vhyrus

          I have never met a DMV clerk I wanted to stick my dick into, and I own 4 cars and a motorcycle.

          1. Now I’m feeling a bit guilty, because the ones I met *were* better than the stereotype and I was exploiting the stereotype nonetheless. 🙁

          2. R C Dean

            Maybe if you “exploit” a DMV clerk, you’ll feel better?

          3. Maybe it was just luck, but they seemed competent and patient enough, yet I chose to pile on with the cliches anyway.

          4. R C Dean

            You wouldn’t be one o’ them autosexuals, would ya?

          5. Auto-eroticism?

          6. __Warren__

            Watch out, you don’t want to end up with a carbuncle.

          7. First they screw you, then they leave you Hyundai (high and dry).

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          A government run brothel? I imagine that would look like a series of telephone booth sized rooms with several rows of dildos. Run by an overweight, middle aged woman with a clipboard.

          1. I’m thinking about adapting the joke about the union brothel and making it a government brothel.

            “…Bertha here has seniority.”

          2. Akira

            Awesome.

            I bought a book of his plays a month or two ago, and it’s been highly amusing and interesting. I read Birds, Acharnians, and I’m almost done with Peace.

            I think I’ll read that one next.

      3. Q Continuum

        “Basic… right”

        I can’t fucking stand how the Left has destroyed the meaning of this phrase. Your right to *pursue* pleasurable sex is a right; how in the name of all that is holy can achieving that goal be a right? Is the government going to enslave prostitutes of all colors, sexes, sizes etc. and create a free brothel in which you don’t have to leave until you get off? How often are you allowed to visit it? Is one orgasm enough, or does your right extend to multiples? Fucking hell.

        1. Vhyrus

          When you compound this with the way they treat gun ownership (an actual, honest to god, enshrined basic right) it literally makes your head feel like it’s going to explode.

      4. R C Dean

        Pleasurable sex should also be considered a basic healthcare right.

        We’ve got some doctors here, and a bunch of nurses, that are bangable. If its a basic healthcare right, does that mean they can refuse to let me, uh, exercise my right?

        1. Nurse Ratchet is ready and willing.

          1. R C Dean

            Pleasurable sex, Fusionist.

          2. Caput Lupinum

            He’s Catholic, they don’t know what pleasurable sex is.

          3. Mad Scientist

            I fondly remember some Catholic school girls who seemed to know.

    3. Chipwooder

      Reminder – Elizabeth Nolan Brown is a big fan of Jill Filipovic.

    4. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      That her book is no doubt representative of what real human adults think (‘scuse me: feel) on such subject makes me want to weep. And drink.

  39. Diane Reynolds

    I keep wondering if this city government will ever run out of stupid.

    But it keeps flowing.

    Seattle landlords must give voter-registration info to new renters, City Council decides

    The new ordinance comes as Seattle has become the fastest-growing big city in the nation and studies show that people on the move vote at lower rates.

    Landlords will be required to provide new tenants with voter-registration information under a new ordinance approved by the Seattle City Council.

    The council voted 6-0 Monday to approve Councilmember Kshama Sawant’s proposal. Three council members, Mike O’Brien, M. Lorena González and Tim Burgess, were absent.

      1. Gilmore

        in NYC they (democrats) sent out mailers to millions of people suggesting it was illegal to NOT vote

        something like that. It was in the news.

        http://nypost.com/2014/10/30/democrats-threaten-voters-to-get-to-the-polls/

        i don’t even understand wtf the point is. the state is effectively useless for national elections. Its guaranteed blue no matter what. why bother cheating so you can have way way more voters than you need?

        i’ve seen party people go door to door trying to get people to register. it boggles the mind. i think they only do it because its linked to some cash-kickbacks from the national party or something. the more registered dems they have, the bigger their budget. or maybe they get paid based on how many schmoos they can sign up.

        1. “why bother cheating so you can have way way more voters than you need?”

          Primaries? Winning supermajorities? I don’t know, New York is a mystery wrapped in an enigma with relish smeared on top.

        2. Diane Reynolds

          Local elections? I dunno.

    1. R C Dean

      Sounds like compelled speech, a 1A violation.

      1. Diane Reynolds

        There are many. The Democracy Vouchers law is compelled speech. No challenge to that that I know of.

      2. Diane Reynolds

        Plus there’s already a law that states that Landlords must provide a copy of the Housing Laws. That sounds like compelled speech and that’s been on the books for a good while now.

        They could force landlords to give information for healthy eating and tenant union membership at this point, it’d probably pass unanimously, and no one would challenge it.

      3. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’d be compelled to say they can eat a dick. Good thing I’m not a landlord in Seattle.

      4. Q Continuum

        If liberty-lovers had as organized and aggressive a legal cartel as the Left does, things like this would be challenged instantly. It’s almost enough to make me want to go back to school and get a JD to start building it. Almost.

      5. Juice

        Hmm. If compelled speech is unconstitutional what about product safety warnings, etc? There’s tons of speech that’s compelled as a prerequisite to sell something. Not sure how this is different. Not saying it’s ok, obviously.

        1. R C Dean

          Classically/theoretically, the feds aren’t allowed to use your participation in commerce as the foot in the door to force you to do something unrelated to your commerce. The theory is that you choose to engage in commerce, and thus consent more or less to the regulation of that commerce.

          The feds can say “if you want to sell that, it has to have this label on it.” They aren’t supposed to say “if you want to sell that, you have to donate money to the Democrat Party”.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m surprised Sawant hasn’t suggested reeducation camps yet. She’s that far left.

    3. Hyperion

      Commie regime NEVER run out of stupid, they run out of other people’s money.

  40. KibbledKristen

    Salon memory-holes article lambasting Otto Warmbier from 2016

    1. They should keep these kind of articles with a disclaimer: “On sober second thought we disavow this article but we’ll keep it on our Web site as an example that even wonderful people like us make mistakes, and if *we* can make mistakes, imagine how many mistakes the Republicans are making!”

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’d require ethics and a conscience (and a bit of intelligence) so no damn way that’ll happen.

        1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

          Salon appears to employ some morally degenerate people. So disgusting.

    1. Vhyrus

      Guess that Glibertarians sponsorship just fell through.

    2. Economy class passengers on United Airlines…I guess they not only get kicked off the plane, their luggage is dumped over their heads.

    3. westernsloper

      You are supposed to save all deep dish articles for the weekend for one of Eddies threads. And for the record, Uno makes shit pizza.

    1. Vhyrus

      I tried to find a decent joke but this is the best I could come up with.

  41. Gilmore

    pretty Scandinavian woman who can sing

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU1jx973iqs

    i’m 80% yes sure, 20% dead-tired of the super-clean pop production that (imo) hides the imperfections that make music interesting.

    the other Norweeg that got a lot of buzz the last 2 years was Mo (add uumlat to o)
    she sings on the diplo ‘lean on’ track. i like her voice a bit more than this newer one.

    1. Vhyrus

      ABBA hardest hit.

    2. “(add uumlat to o)”

      Like this?

      ö

      1. Vhyrus

        Why does your vowell have eyes?

        1. Because it has to maintain consonant vigilance.

        2. Mad Scientist

          And a big gaping mouth?

          1. It’s an O face.

            Shit, did I actually write that?

      2. Gilmore

        Actually i got it wrong its not an ooom-latte, its something else

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFrth4NFogc#t=30

        slash through the O

        1. Gilmore

          I think its pronounced like “Mμ”

          1. Gilmore

            no not ‘muh mew’ you smartasses

          2. Caput Lupinum

            Ø. Pronounced like the ‘u’ in church.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Mouumlat is bizarre even by Nordic standards.

    4. Are you sure it’s the ö and not the ø? I don’t believe either variant of Norwegian uses the ö.

      1. Caput Lupinum

        They do not. The umlaut isn’t used in any of the North Germanic languages.

  42. commodious spittoon

    How is this legal?

    The National Security Council has informed conservative watchdog group Judicial Watch that materials regarding former National Security Adviser Susan Rice’s reported requests to identify “masked” U.S. persons in intelligence reports linked to President Donald Trump’s transition and campaign have been sent to Barack Obama’s presidential library outside of Chicago.

    Rice, who served as a senior official during the Obama administration, had requested on several occasions the identities of U.S. persons associated with Trump whose identities were concealed, according to press reports from earlier this year.

    Following the revelations, Judicial Watch sent a Freedom of Information Act request on April 4 for records concerning “any and all requests for information, analyses, summaries, assessments, transcripts, or similar records submitted to any intelligence community member agency or any official, employee, or representative thereof by … Rice” related to several issues.

    Judicial Watch reported Monday that NSC Access Management Director John Powers responded to the FOIA request in a May 23 letter.

    “Documents from the Obama administration have been transferred to the Barack Obama Presidential Library. You may send your request to the Obama Library,” Powers wrote. “However, you should be aware that under the Presidential Records Act, presidential records remain closed to the public for five years after an administration has left office.”

    I am honestly bewildered. Aren’t presidential libraries private entities? I’d assumed so, given that they’re funded by private donors. How does classified government material end up sequestered in the care of a private entity that cannot be compelled to turn over FOIA’d documents?

    1. “Oh, sorry, the documents you were looking for are under a different shell, would you like to try again?”

    2. Gilmore

      I think it depends on what these “materials” are. without specifics its hasty to be outraged by it. if they were docs related to internal WH deliberations, i don’t think they’re subject to FOIA requests until the above-stated period has passed. for exactly these sorts of reasons: no one wants every new administration to turn into political dirt-throwing at the previous one.

      1. commodious spittoon

        That makes some sense. Still seems pretty nakedly obstructive.

      2. R C Dean

        Fair enough point, but that isn’t the reason given for these being locked up. They didn’t say “these were internal deliberations, etc.”.

        They said “anything we send to the library is locked up for five years.”

        Plus, they are intentionally misrepresenting the Act, which defines the records it encompasses (kind of along the lines you describe) and excludes “official records of an agency”, which I think would include an official request for unmasking.

        The real punchline, though, is that “The United States shall reserve and retain complete ownership, possession, and control of Presidential records”. If those are Presidential records, then the fact that library has them makes no difference.

        The five year moratorium in the Act is a moratorium on FOIA requests for Presidential records, except that this category of records is not subject to the moratorium:

        (5) inter-agency or intra-agency memorandums or letters that would not be available by law to a party other than an agency in litigation with the agency, provided that the deliberative process privilege shall not apply to records created 25 years or more before the date on which the records were requested;

        IOW, this is the usual bullshit FOIA runaround you get from government agencies.

    3. R C Dean

      The NSC didn’t keep any copies?

      Are they seriously arguing that any records by any federal agency can be buried for 5 years just by sending them to a presidential library?

      1. Viking1865

        No no no, not any records. Just Obama’s records. He’s like any other President, only better.

      2. westernsloper

        Ya, bullshit, all the records Rice made for unmasking were sent to the Lightbringers library? Big giant steaming pile of bullshit there.

  43. Diane Reynolds

    Not a death spiral.

    Health-plan rates in Washington state’s individual market could go up an average of 22%

    http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/health/health-plan-rates-in-washington-states-individual-market-could-go-up-an-average-of-22/

    1. Vhyrus

      22% HAH! Amateurs. They went up 125% here in Phoenix.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        That has to be an underestimate. The 22% that is.

  44. Contrarian P

    Did anyone see what the charge was that justified the Argentine police raid to seize all that Nazi stuff? Was it supposedly illegally obtained or something? I wasn’t aware that you could just lay claim to historical stuff that is privately owned just because the UN thinks it’s important. Or did they just take it all because clearly private citizens can’t be trusted with Nazi stuff? The WaPo article says the articles are evidence of “similar crimes”, but never specifies what crimes those might be, unless they refer to the war crimes of Eichmann and Mengele, which I’m pretty sure are matters of record unlikely to be aided by a trophy with Hitler’s face on it.

    Well, unless the trophy was for “1st place, mass murder, Poland division”.

    1. R C Dean

      what the charge was that justified the Argentine police raid to seize all that Nazi stuff

      Argentine Code, chapter F, section Y, subsection T, clause W.

      1. Contrarian P

        Ah yes, I believe that’s based on the US legal code.

  45. KibbledKristen

    Burge is in rare form tonight, with the whole GA 6 election

  46. LT_Fish

    Well, I’m a day late and a dollar short as usual (can’t check Glibs at work 🙁 ). Got a couple more articles about Fitzgerald.

    1. LT_Fish

      Other article – interesting video clip of the ACX Crystal’s path.

      1. LT_Fish

        While I still have no idea how nobody on the bridge or in CIC would have noticed this….I’ve heard a few different comments on some articles – Crystal may have been on autopilot with NOBODY in the pilot house….and they didn’t even know they hit a ship.

        A cargo ship sure as hell doesn’t make a random race track loop before getting back on it’s course.

        Some folks are passing a rumor that the Crystal had its transponder turned off and all lights extinguished. Even so…there should have been a radar fix and with lookouts as well – on a clear night – someone should have said something. The ship didn’t even notify the Coast Guard of the collision for over an hour after it happened!

        Honestly…..I didn’t know the Philippines regularly flagged merchant ships – especially a Japanese owned ship – with an all Filipino crew – sounds very different. Now…one take I’ve been bouncing in my head – haven’t seen anyone else bring it up…this is Ramadan, with a Filipino crew, during the battle for Marawi. I’m a little surprised I haven’t seen a list of crew names for the Crystal anywhere – not even on the Filipino news sites. Jihad by cargo vessel? Probably an insane idea – and of course against Occam’s Razor….but it’s another theory.

        1. LT_Fish

          I should clarify – Fitz wasn’t obligated to notify the JCG, but the Crystal notified JCG an hour after it happened.

        2. Vhyrus

          Jihad by cargo vessel unlikely, because it didn’t explode, and a destroyer is an unusually hard target for that sort of attack.

          1. LT_Fish

            Probably….but also target of opportunity.

            Shitty watchstanding on both sides probably….but how could you miss that with multiple radar systems, watchstanders in the pilot house and CIC AND lookouts……

          2. Vhyrus

            Even if it was intentional on Crystals part, there were some major fuck ups on that destroyer to let a goddamn star destroyer sized vessel sneak up on them.

          3. westernsloper

            100% shitty watchstanding. Even if the suicide filipino container ship had its AIS turned off and was running dark. Which I am not sure is even possible on commercial ships. (I rigged our small boats on a Nigerian offshore job with AIS so we could watch them at night. Very handy technology that is) There is now way a container ship was not visible on who knows how many radars on the destroyers bridge and any number of watch standers watching it happen unless they were out burning one on the bridge wing for too long.

    1. Contrarian P

      That’s what happens when Jane gets political.

      1. Diane Reynolds

        I’m trying to decide who’s the prettiest in that video, the one on the left, the right, or the middle.

    2. Hyperion

      ??? I have no idea what that means.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Typo?

      2. R C Dean

        I think jungle primaries are primaries where there aren’t any parties, and the top X vote getters go on to the general. California does it that way, thus ensuring that the only people on the general election ballot are both Dems.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I think our city council might be like that for the same reason but I’ve never heard that term used before.

      3. Pomp

        WTF is a jungle voter?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Whatever it is, it’s racist.

          1. quincy

            Southern peckerwoods should have pride in their own traditions and call the open primary system the “electoral demolition derby”.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      $40 million? They are reporting its over $50 million elsewhere. What a waste. I eagerly await flipping between Dbacks-Rocks and the retarded coverage of the jungle riots tonight.

  47. Diane Reynolds

    In Seattle, this is pretty ‘meh’.

    https://www.facebook.com/events/612511355453567/

    1. Vhyrus

      Not advocating a drone strike on this event is going to be damn near impossible for me.

      1. Vhyrus

        And I just noticed it happened almost 4 years ago. Given Obama’s record on drones I’m a bit disappointed it didn’t happen.

    2. Hyperion

      Seattle can survive this non-sense far longer than most cities. Boeing, Microsoft, Amazon. But eventually, you can count on it, the loons will just keep going until they drive those entities out and then they’re fucked.

      1. Drake

        Boeing is gradually, nonchalantly slipping out the door.

  48. Hyperion

    “Since our “normal” afternoon links staffer has blown up his computer… or office… or done something equivalent of which the details are vague”

    He hasn’t been seen lately in Brussels, has he?

    1. Vhyrus

      I didn’t think (((terrorists))) operated that way.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      No. The Brussels dude didn’t know the difference between explosives and incendiaries. It’s a very painful mistake.

  49. Hyperion

    BTW, I hope you sick fucks are done with your kitty murder stories! *runs screaming from room*

    1. westernsloper

      Did I tell you what the rotten dead kitten hanging out of the ferrel cats hooha smelled like? I tried to pull it out. It tore in half. It smelled like………

  50. Grumbletarian

    Looks like Ossoff is headed to the Moral Victory Congress where he can imagine thwarting Secret Nazi President’s evil plans.

    1. Badolph Hilter

      Heh.

      Who does the swearing-in for Moral Victory Congress, Joan Walsh?

    2. __Warren__

      Muh polls!