Tuesday Afternoon Links

TMI?

Hopefully, by the time you read this, I will have A/C again. Or a plan for A/C. Otherwise, I’m going to be sitting in a kiddie pool full of ice wearing my Florida Man birthday suit, cooling my taint.

 

 

 

 

  • Damn. I guess I’d better “lose” my chainsaw. I’m sure “common sense” chainsaw regulation is coming.
  • In lieu of flowers, send donations to the Nats Bullpen Fund. I guess they should show up as pallbearers so they can let him down one more time.

    I’ll be driving by the sacred site where this happened in Apalachicola, FL on Friday
  • My entry for worst journalism of the week award. I am completely unable to follow the narrative.
  • I’d pick somewhere else than an arsenal to get shooty. But Alabama isn’t really known for its education system.
  • State of California — active science denier. There is good evidence that glyphosate does not cause cancer. In fact, there appears to be active scientific fraud perpetuating the myth.  But hey, fuck Monsanto, right? At least this ruling probably won’t sentence tens of thousands of the world’s poorest children to die horribly like DDT myths did.

 

I wore just the skirt today. Working from home means I make my own dress code.

Have a little summertime rolls.

Comments

393 responses to “Tuesday Afternoon Links”

  1. DOOMco

    Damn. I guess I’d better “lose” my chainsaw. I’m sure “common sense” chainsaw regulation is coming.

    woodchippers up next.

    1. DOOMco

      in all seriousness, what the fuck.

      1. Vhyrus

        Stories like that really fuck me up. One guy with a handgun would have saved that person’s arm. ONE.

        1. Endless Mike

          If only he were better armed, he’d be better armed.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          It is always about choices and tradeoffs.

          On the one hand….

      2. John Titor

        Groovy.

    2. Enough About Palin

      Jaimes-Jiminez told authorities he became enraged after seeing his wife and the man leaving work together and wanted to “hurt the victim and send a message,” prosecutors said.

      Jaimes-Jiminez faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted, and is due in court July 14.

      Well now his wife is free to bang her coworker.

      1. MikeS

        Yep he gets the girl. Gotta hand it to him

        1. Grumbletarian

          Because he sure can’t hand it to himself anymore.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          Perfect for her. She doesn’t have to blow him because a handjob is so special for him now…

  2. ChipsnSalsa

    Florida Man birthday suit

    I’m a little afraid to ask how that is different than a regular “birthday suit”

    1. DOOMco

      Nature’s pocket.

    2. Brett L

      I had my scrotum modified to hold a regular 12oz beer.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        But where do you keep your angel dust?

        1. Negroni Please

          He keeps in in his upper lip like snus. Just slow time released crazy.

          1. Brett L

            Nice.

      2. ChipsnSalsa

        yup, sorry I asked.

      3. bacon-magic

        Do bath salts get used in baths down there?

        1. FreeSociety

          In Florida, there are strict controls in place to ensure that bath salts can only be used to eat the faces off homeless people.

  3. Just Say’n

    http://www.breitbart.com/video/2017/06/23/watch-msnbcs-joe-scarborough-debuts-music-video-mystified-facebook/

    Is this the worst music video ever? Yes. Yes, it is.

    PS: I do not read Breitbart, I just googled this music video and this link was the first one to have it in its entirety.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      But I was only in there to get directions on how to get away from there!

      1. Just Say’n

        That’s my story and I’m sticking to it

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Sure you don’t read Breitbart….

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Just there for the pictures.

  4. DOOMco

    But hey, fuck Monsanto

    Sign me up!

    Blessed by the edit fairy

    1. DOOMco

      thanks!

        1. Just Say’n

          Dude, really should include NSFW

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            You really should hover over those links first.

          2. Negroni Please

            Or just never EVER click an HM link at work.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            That is sound advice.

          4. Bobarian LMD

            Or at home … or anywhere?

          5. Was it your waifu pillow?

          6. And it wouldn’t bother me if “My Pillow” were gone. Those commercials are fucking annoying.

          7. Heroic Mulatto

            Why do you hate things Made in America, Ted?

          8. Fatty Bolger

            It’s HM. NSFW is assumed.

          9. Caput Lupinum

            It’s HM. NSFW awesome is assumed.

        2. Q Continuum

          I’m finding it hard to believe that the human’s fingernail isn’t puncturing the fairy’s uterus. Also, that’s a pretty talented fairy to take penetration larger than her arm. It’s like super fisting.

          1. F. Stupidity Jr.

            NO SPOILERS

          2. Playa Manhattan

            That’s a very roundabout way of saying that you’re disappointed that it’s not the butthole.

          3. Q Continuum

            Well, obviously.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            Fairy magick, asshole.

          5. Bobarian LMD

            Why is there a comma in that statement?

          6. bacon-magic

            Pics?

          7. SugarFree

            Fairy vag is a self-defining space, like a bag of holding.

        3. AceDroman

          JFC

        4. bacon-magic

          Wow can’t believe that didn’t get firewalled.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Also Faerie Magick.

          2. Festus

            The Heroic One is a Unicorn ’round these parts. He can do whatever the fuck he feelz like.

  5. Just Say’n

    http://music.blog.mystatesman.com/2017/06/23/label-drops-austin-band-dream-machine-over-comments-on-immigration-feminism/

    Austin musical group has been dropped by its record label for making un-woke comments during an interview. Kick Austin out of Texas

    1. Negroni Please

      I’m pretty sure they already have kicked Austin out of Texas.

      1. Just Say’n

        I’m behind the times

    2. That’s life in a southern town.

    3. The Last American Hero

      I just bought their album. Pretty groovy tunes.

      1. Festus

        I’ve only seen a couple of you-tubes but yeah, and the chick is a smoke-show.

    4. FreeSociety

      Now I want to buy their album, but at the same time I don’t want to give money to a pantshitting virtue signalling SJW label, lest they donate that money to some refugee slush fund.

    5. mr simple

      For our part we’re going to find a decent charity to donate our end of the profits from the record to, though something tells me this won’t exactly send it flying off the shelves.”

      Phew! Good thing they got that social signal sent before their label was sacrificed to the PC god and they weren’t invited to the cool drum circles anymore.

    6. Juice

      Austin is so expensive! We should move to…Amsterdam.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      I wasn’t all that surprised that it was the model who suffers from anorexia nervosa.

    2. Q Continuum

      College girl all the way. Model is too skinny.

    3. The Last American Hero

      As usual, college girl – although the Patriots stuff almost cost her my vote.

        1. Q Continuum

          How can we be sure that is not actually his leg getting sawed off out of frame?

        2. DOOMco

          Well, yeah.

        3. BigGreg

          I’m a Falcons fan. That would get her ass spanked… In an extra mean way.

          1. I didn’t know the Falcons had fans.

    4. Jefe Hayek

      Easily your hardest one yet.

      Model has big naturals, decent caboose, but icy face and too slender.

      College girl probably ranks below the model in most categories, but also looks like she happily swallows and isn’t lacking in the curves department.

      Final verdict: College girl

    5. MikeS

      Wow. I was ready to say model but then I saw college girl. Very tough one, but I gotta say college girl

    6. mr simple

      I’m not picky; I’ll take whichever one you guys don’t want.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Pic of chainsaw indicates it was a Stihl. At least the would be killer had some good taste in saws, it could have been a Poulan or some crap like that.

    1. Chipwooder

      Electric Black and Decker

      1. Bobarian LMD

        I like my Craftsman pole-saw.

        Gives me some decent stand-off.

        1. MikeS

          Euphamisms!

  7. F. Stupidity Jr.

    Anyone up for tasteless parody lyrics of “YMCA”? Cause I’ve got ’em.

    I wrote them because libertarians are all white hetero cis-gendered males, which naturally makes us rape apologists. So why not own it?

    1. The Last American Hero

      Weird Al Yankovic is a Glib?!!!

  8. Playa Manhattan

    “Warning: This product actually kills weeds”

    1. Q Continuum

      Just go pee on them instead.

    2. DOOMco

      Almost everything we sell has the CA cancer warning on it.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Cancer warnings are known to cause cancer by the State of California.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          *The previous blog comment has caused cancer in laboratory animals*

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          I always wondered how much that phrase added to the cost of every product I bought outside of CA.

  9. Q Continuum

    A taint angel… quite a visual.

    1. Negroni Please

      t’aint nothin angelic about that

      1. ttyrant

        Negroni – a very belated ‘thank you’ for your Cleveland recommendations. I was able to make it out to the Slyman’s as well as Cozumel. I particularly liked the latter — that Saturday night I had a few hours to kill before the band started. I made my way there, sipped on some margaritas and downed some tacos on a wonderfully hot night.

        1. Negroni Please

          Weird. This thread is long dead, but I’m pretty sure you owe those thanks to someone else. I’ve never been to Cleveland before and, god willing, I can continue that trend forever.

  10. I, for one, have a beautiful taint. I’ve gotten some highly regarded reviews.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Family members don’t count.

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Pics or it didn’t happen.

  11. Scruffy Nerfherder

    CNN Resignations A Sign Of The High Stakes In Covering Trump’s Administration

    Really? I thought it was more an indicator of how blatantly making shit up might actually… eventually… someday… get you fired from your job as a journalist.

    1. John Titor

      Yeah, it’s actually the exact opposite, covering the Trump Administration while constantly lying has been so considerably low stakes that some journalists have managed to push too far and end up terminated for general incompetence.

  12. It is so incredibly slow here at work – apparently no one wants to do anything before the fourth of July mini-vacation, and my boss is already on vacation are are two other employees.

    1. *are are = as are

    2. Chipwooder

      Half of my office is already on vacation.

    3. My bosses are getting increasingly shrill and nonsensical claiming we’re not getting enough work done. Work is going to be open on July 4, but I sure as hell ain’t going in.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      I work with Europeans a lot. I was canceling recurring meetings next week because no one from North America will be in the office and a bunch of the EU weenies were giving me a hard time.

      I had to point out that no work ever gets done in August because no one in the EU (excepting Syrian refugee bombers) does anything at all. Or around Easter.

      Fuck the EU doesn’t do much work at all.

  13. Q Continuum

    It’s been said before, many times, by myself and others on this board but… screw these idiots using the CBO score as a reason to not support Trumpcare. There are plenty of good reasons to not support Trumpcare, but the CBO score is not one of them. “OMG 22 gazillion people will lose healthcare!!! What we gonna do?!?!?” If. you. stop. forcing. people. to. buy. it. SOME PEOPLE WON’T BUY IT. Stupidity or mendacity are the only two explanations.

  14. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I’m getting the impression the WaPo really really doesn’t like Trump.

    A Time Magazine with Trump on the cover hangs in his golf clubs. It’s fake.

    1. Enough About Palin

      It’s actually brilliantly meta when you think about it.

  15. Juvenile Bluster

    After receiving all kinds of public subsidies for their new stadium, the Yankees made all kinds of promises of things they would do to revive the neighborhoods around the new stadium. What happened next will totally not shock you.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Did they burn the neighborhoods to the ground?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      You fools trusted us.

    3. BigGreg

      I’m guessing they didn’t fix the cable?

  16. There’s a $1 Million Bounty on Bigfoot

    The hefty reward means the Searching for Bigfoot team is investigating up to 30 tips a day, most of which end up going nowhere. Most recently, Biscardi and his team, which includes his son T.J. and his grandson Tommy, were lured to the woods of Crawford County, Pennsylvania in search of hard evidence. They found one eroded heel print and sticks in unnatural arrangements, but Sasquatch himself was a no-show. “I want a creature,” T.J. Biscardi told AP. “I’m done with pictures, done with prints, done with hair samples, done with fecal matter.”

    Obviously not a German.

    1. Chipwooder

      STEVE SMITH USE BRAWNY, NOT BOUNTY, TO CLEAN UP AFTER RAPES

      1. Bobarian LMD

        BAH! STEVE SMITH JUST USE HIKER SLEEPING BAG.

    2. Caput Lupinum

      Crawford? They’d have better luck in Susquehanna, Bradford, or Tioga counties. Idiots.

    3. Mad Scientist

      “I want a creature,”

      And people in hell want ice water.

      1. Negroni Please

        My grandma said that one a lot. Along with many other weird southernisms. My all time favorite though was “Colder than a well digger’s butt.” I’ve never heard that one anywhere else.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I got plenty since both my parents are “rural” Southerners of varying types.

          Hotter than a half fucked fox in a forest fire.

          Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra face down in the snow.

          1. Negroni Please

            I appreciate the fine alliterative verse of the first one. It could be a line from a modern Beowulf.

        2. Chipwooder

          “She looks like she was dipped in sin and beaten with misery” All these years later and I still have no idea what that one means.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            It’s been a while since I’ve heard that one.

            Rode hard and put up wet. is still pretty common.

          2. Chipwooder

            Yeah, my father in law uses that one all the time.

        3. Bobarian LMD

          Darker than a well-digger’s ass”

          “Colder than a brass monkey’s balls in January.”

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Slower than Canadian Molasses in Winter

    4. John Titor

      FROM HELL’S HEART STEVE SMITH STAB AT THEE, FOR HATE’S SAKE STEVE SMITH SPIT IN YOUR FACE. IT TOTALLY HOT.

  17. Pan Zagloba

    After finishing a Parliament session that did his popularity ratings no favours, PM Zoolander does what he does best: furiously preening.

    Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says he will continue to promote Canada’s open immigration policy on the world stage as controversy rages over U.S. President Donald Trump’s travel ban.

    Trudeau said Tuesday during a news conference in Ottawa to wrap up the parliamentary sitting that government officials have had “multiple conversations” with the U.S. administration about protecting Canadian rights in the face of immigration decisions south of the border.

    “But at the same time, Canadians have been very clear that we see immigration as a net positive, that we know we don’t have to compromise security to build stronger, more resilient communities,” he said. “I will continue to stand for Canadian values and Canadian success in our immigration system as I always have, whether it’s in Washington or in Hamburg next week or elsewhere around the world.”

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Why would he need to have conversations with US officials about Canada’s own immigration policies(*).

      (*)which are pretty fucking strict to Americans that want to move northward or just work on the other side for a while. Go fuck yourself Zoolander.

      1. ArchieBunker

        I can’t even take the family to Canada next week when were gonna be close without spending a fortune on passports. Go to hell Canadians, though I’m sure some of them are good people

        1. Gustave Lytton

          That one is a joint US/Canada fuck you post-9/11.

    2. John Titor

      But at the same time, Canadians have been very clear that we see immigration as a net positive…based on a points system that heavily incentivizes beneficial immigrants and makes our immigration more restrictive than the United States’.

      You know, if he wasn’t a lying sack of shit.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        To be fair, successive governments have been expanding voter importing family reunification numbers for years.

        1. John Titor

          Yes but it’s still the reality of the Canadian immigration system being more restrictive that the U.S.’s while this idiot virtue signals about how wonderful we are. We have nothing like their lottery system.

          Jesus Christ I’m going to have to be really not sober on the 1st.

        2. Pan Zagloba

          This will probably be terrible, but fuck it. Found immigration %ages broken by year and category:

          Category 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015
          Economic 37.4 38.8 44.2 46.4 51.5 48.2 49.3 47.1 49.9 50.0
          Sponsored 43.1 42.6 40.9 38.7 33.2 33.1 33.6 35.0 33.1 29.7
          Resettled Refugee & Protected Person in Canada
          17.5 16.3 13.0 13.3 13.8 16.9 14.8 16.3 15.4 18.4
          All Other Immigration 2.1 2.3 1.9 1.6 1.5 1.8 2.3 1.7 1.6 1.9

          Basically point system accounted for more than 50% only in 2010, with honourable mention of 2015 where it was exactly 50%.
          This is permanent residents only, so students, refugees who haven’t been resettled, and temp. workers aren’t included.

      2. Q Continuum

        Yes indeedilly doodilly. I don’t understand how “wanting there to be some kind of standards on immigrants” gets conflated with “xenophobe!” so easily. Wait. I do understand. It’s red meat bromides for the weak minded.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      If he goes to Europe with this crap….he’s a bigger fool than we all thought.

      And like Trump gives a shit about what Trudeau thinks.

  18. Pan Zagloba

    Meanwhile, Mark Steyn eviscerates PM Zoolander’s vacuity. Whether he scalped The Locks is unknown.

    When I first heard that Justin Trudeau had marched in the Toronto Pride Parade wearing Ramadan socks, my first reaction was that that was a bit under-dressed even for him. My mistake. It turns out the Prime Minister wasn’t wearing just his Ramadan socks but also shirt and trousers.

    Which, on reflection, is a bit boringly overdressed. Perhaps for next year’s parade he could wear a niqab with cutaway buttocks and a crescent tramp stamp. Just trying to be inclusive here.

    The official explanation here is that he wished to celebrate both Pride and Eid. Which makes you wonder why nobody thought to hold a combined Preid Parade that would march down Yonge Street and then up the CN Tower where a visiting Gayatollah from the Holy City of Qom would ceremonially hurl everyone off the EdgeWalk. Pride comes before a fall, as some infidel said.

    1. Q Continuum

      “The official explanation here is that he wished to celebrate both Rosh Hashanah and the Third Reich”

      Makes just about as much sense.

    2. grrizzly

      Why did he wear Ramadan socks for the Pride Parade? It doesn’t make any sense.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        The official explanation here is that he wished to celebrate both Pride and Eid.

        If you click on the link, there’s a picture of the socks in question. My gaydar is stuck on “broken” so I can’t accurately rate their homosexuality quotient. They are striped and multicolored, at least…

        1. Negroni Please

          Aren’t you European? That would explain your gaydar. ‘Gay or European?’ is an almost impossible game. At the higher levels it truly is impossible. Once in Stockholm I saw a dude wearing a black mesh shirt and a pink hat that said “boy” on it relentlessly hitting on a girl at a bar.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            I used to be really fucking good at Gay or European and my gaydar is TERRIBLE. Back pockets on pants are always a little wrong in euro wear and they go for much thinner soled shoes than Americans generally do.

          2. FreeSociety

            That’s the least of it. Shoe shopping in Europe is terrible because their shoes are, generally, terrible. Wing tips, wing tips everywhere!

          3. Pan Zagloba

            I grew up in “there’s no gay folk ’round here parts, but be always on the lookout for them evil queers who are everywhere, but also if you know what they’re like you’re probably one of them” country. So anything less than two dudes making out doesn’t register.

            Like, I saw that stupid 70s Village People movie on TV and never got a gay vibe from it. That’s how bad it is.

          4. Brett L

            So obviously, when that guy offered you a blow job, you just assumed he was being polite. And who can be rude to such a polite guy?

          5. Pan Zagloba

            If blow jobs are more common than kissing round your parts, I’d…

            Oh wait, you’re Florida Man! Never mind, carry on.

          6. Enough About Palin

            Mad Scientist, that is truly a classic. I immediately thought of it as well.

          7. John Titor

            Uh, I wouldn’t go around playing a game of ‘Gay or Serbian’ unless I wanted to lose some teeth.

            Their interests are…darker.

          8. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Serbs are nuts.

          9. Pan Zagloba

            That was way after my time, but I buy the explanation

            Spasojević and Radivojević, have stated that the film is a parody of modern politically correct films made in Serbia, which are financially supported by foreign funds. When asked why they chose the title ‘Srpski Film’ for the film’s name, Radivojević answered, “We have become synonyms for chaos and lunacy. The title is a cynical reference to that image. Srpski Film is also a metaphor for our national cinema — boring, predictable and altogether unintentionally hilarious which throughout our film to some extent is commented on and subtly parodied.” Similarly, Radivojević describes Serbian cinema as “…pathetic state financed films made by people who have no sense or connection to film, but are strongly supported by foreign funds. Quality of the film is not their concern, only the bureaucratic upholding of the rule book on political correctness.”[4]

            Because sadly, the best films were a) made in 80s and b) probably incomprehensible to the outside world.

            Although, maybe “a funeral home family who dig up old caskets and sell as new, ranging in age from 18 to 104 as a metaphor for communist society” isn’t so far-fetched…

          10. Rufus the Monocled

            I’m guessing satirical humour isn’t a craze in Serbia?

          11. Pan Zagloba

            There’s a proud tradition of satirical humor all the way to Turkish times. And equally proud tradition of authorities trying to manage it in ham-handed way, falling flat on their faces, and looking stupid.

            Say what you will about Balkans, but at least our tyrannies always lacked the effectiveness of German ones, or scope of Russians.

            Schlamperei is not just for Austrians!

          12. John Titor

            “The Balkans – At least we’re incompetent.”

            Pan for Serbian Tourist Minister 2017.

          13. Pan Zagloba

            “The Balkans: Yeah, we’ll hassle you over stupid shit, but $20 gets you out. Try that in Germany!”

          14. Bobarian LMD

            How do you know she identified as a ‘girl’, Shitlord?

      2. jesse.in.mb

        Rainbow Ramadan socks. Let’s just pause a minute and contemplate the wonders of capitalism that those exist at all first.

        But basically he’s just showboating liberal cred at this point while failing to do enough substantive to energize his supporters.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Are they rainbowy, thought? There are only four colours, and not in spectrum order. A better, less lazy man than I would look up what , if anything, Purple-Yellow-Red stripes represent in Islam…

          1. jesse.in.mb

            They evoke rainbowness. If you throw rainbow confetti or something people still know what you’re going for.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            A Rip Taylor Revival?

      3. John Titor

        If you have to ask any question based off how something makes no sense, the answer always is “Because Justin Trudeau is a moron.”

        I swear, if the Tories hadn’t been so corrupt at the end of it they probably could have won the election by reading quotes from his book to a giggling audience.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      I’m hearing more and more people who aren’t exactly political in my circle say stuff like, ‘cut this shit out and go govern’.

      Even people who are highly tolerant of this crap are getting tired of it.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        I am exact opposite. The more he preens and postures, the less damage he does.

        I’d love nothing more than 8-month Zoolander World Tour during which no government decisions are made.

        1. John Titor

          Yep. He’s got the Obama Benefit, i.e. he’s largely incompetent so he’s actually far less likely to fuck the country up too much in the long run. I just wish I lived in a riding where voting Tory would actually matter.

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          I knew my sample size was waaayyyy too small and probably wasn’t close to reality.

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      Men who wear novelty socks with business wear should be beheaded.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Well I guess you’re not getting nyancat socks for this year’s gift exchange.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          He’d only wear those in bedroom, so you can put them back on the list.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        Interesting. What is your take on men who color match their socks to their tie? I believe they deserve to be shot for such anal retentiveness.

        1. Brett L

          Ah, I believe you match your socks and pocket square. With your tie being accented by both.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            //scribbles Brett L onto list with purple crayon.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          God, I hate matchy-matchy.

          Socks should blend into your trousers. That’s it. There really is nothing more to it.

          1. Mad Scientist

            There is no sensible matching anyway. It’s all random rules made up by the same people who think they can taste the difference between expensive wines. This is blue and that is blue, but apparently it’s the wrong kind of blue and actually if you want to match wear this, uh, green thing. Whatever. Just wear what’s comfortable.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            If you’re talking in general, sure. But for business, dressing for comfort isn’t the prime objective. Even in Silicon Valley, dressing like a piss-drenched hobo is more actually about signaling status then comfort.

          3. Enough About Palin

            My sister works at Gallo; she can taste the difference. She has all sorts of certifications including one that required just that.

          4. The Last American Hero

            Ah, but the fact that you need a certification and training sort of proves the point.

          5. jesse.in.mb

            It’s all random rules

            No. it’s a failure to move on from Beau Brummel’s early attempts to peacock.

            What’s even worse is that it was still better than the historical alternatives… although with my well defined calves I’d look smashing in 15h century continental men’s fashion.

          6. peachy rex

            I would rock the fuck out of doublet and hose. Stupid pants…

          7. jesse.in.mb

            I’ve been dithering for years on getting a decent kilt. A friend of mine pulled the trigger and it’s making it harder to resist.

          8. peachy rex

            It really irks me that chicks can wear tights any time they like, and dudes can’t except when we’re being athletic. Tights and shorts is a really practical combination (and not just for running and biking.)

          9. Mad Scientist

            Can’t? Or won’t?

          10. Vhyrus

            meanwhile I’m over here wondering where you buy socks that aren’t white.

          11. Heroic Mulatto

            Treat yourself to a pair of Pantherellas.

          12. Vhyrus

            The links says ‘mens socks’ but I don’t see anything on that page a real man would put on his own feet.

          13. Heroic Mulatto

            John Steed got more pussy that all of us combined.

          14. I can get black gym socks at Sam’s Club.

          15. mexican sharpshooter

            Wal-Mart? Those socks were white but then dyed black.

      3. Rufus the Monocled

        Men who wear flip flops nowhere near a beach and for casual existence should be drawn and quartered.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Fuck off Slaver /looks at sandals

      4. R C Dean

        I have some fun and get some mileage from my colorful and sometimes novelty socks, and I’m one of a handful of people who wears a long sleeve shirt and tie Every. Single. Work. Day.

        Don’t other my sock antiheteronormarivity, bro.

    5. Drake

      Damn Steyn makes me laugh.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        If you like his style, I recommend the UK Spectator Magazine. He used to write there, and there are a few people who write in similar (but not identical) style. It’s also genuinely diverse in political opinions of its contributors, to a degree I’ve not seen in US or Canada.

        On the downside, they’ve begun demanding registration even for baseline content. Sigh…

  19. Rufus the Monocled

    When I look at how it has become damn near impossible to wipe out weeds in my grass I will always think, ‘California’.

    I’m having a laugh over this McEnroe thing. He’s 1000% right of course.

    1. B.P.

      I like Serena’s reply tweet:

      “I’ve never played anyone ranked “there” nor do I have time. Respect me and my privacy as I’m trying to have a baby. Good day sir”

      So, she’s in actual labor while tweeting away?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        What’s louder he tennis or labour/delivery grunts?

        TAKING BETS.

        1. B.P.

          You’re thinking of mega-volley-grunter Monica Seles. That dude who stabbed her courtside just thought she needed a C-section.

          1. Oh, the grunting has gotten worse since Seles’ day.

          2. JD

            And by worse, you mean better.

  20. Drake

    If Redstone Arsenal is anything like Picatinny Arsenal or any other Army base, nobody there except MPs and DoD Police are armed.

    1. Juice

      It’s just that place you have to turn around because you took the wrong exit into the NASA museum.

    2. mikey

      Mostly just program office types and their contractors.

  21. mexican sharpshooter

    Island appears off the coast of NC overnight. No, the Chinese did not build it.

    http://www.cnn.com/travel/article/new-island-north-carolina/index.html

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Jesus, CNN.

      That’s a sand drift.

      1. Mad Scientist

        The really news there is CNN reporting on something other than Russia.

        1. one true athena

          “Quick, news division, find something that’s not Russia! We need to counter this Project Veritas video!”

          “but, boss — all you wanted was Trump/Putin Fanfic!”

          “GET ME SOMETHING NOT RUSSIA TO RUN!!”

          “erm, sir, I have a photo of a sand drift…?”

          “Perfect. Run it. Call it a new island and blame global warming!”

    2. DOOMco

      this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal

    3. Caput Lupinum

      The story linked at the bottom is far more interesting:

      Zannone: Italy’s forbidden ‘orgy island’

      With emerald-green waters, blue skies and and a rugged empty landscape, Zannone has everything you’d expect from a near-deserted Italian island.
      It also has a reputation for something rather more unexpected: Orgies.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        The villa itself sits on the grounds of a ruined medieval monastery adorned with terracotta frescoed statues and housing a tiny chapel.It’s a curious mix of the sacred and blasphemous.
        “The villa was an illegal construction,” says Peci. “How can you allow to build on an archaeological site? Zannone went from being a place of meditation, silence and prayer to one of transgression and scandals.”

        God’s name was invoked quite often in both instances.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Transgressions and sandals, eh?

          As soon as I own my own island…

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Any time you hear about an orgy, it’s not as cool as it sounds.

    4. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Maybe when Guam capsized, it drifted over there?

  22. Count Potato

    “The purpose of the competition was to promote technical education.”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4639278/Fury-Czech-power-plant-holds-bikini-beauty-contest.html

    So PornHub is basically the same as MIT?

    1. Q Continuum

      Just film people having sex on Hoover Dam to promote Civil Engineering.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Something something… control rod…. something something… core

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Is it? Is it really safe for work????

          1. tarran

            Unless you work for the union of concerned scientists, greenpeace or Matt Damon’s publicist, yes.

        2. mr simple

          Smart Patrol?

    3. Mad Scientist

      I gotta start spending more time at Czech power plants.

    4. Jefe Hayek

      I’d like to Czech the one in pink and blue out. If you catch my drift, fellow heterosexual men

    5. Brett L

      I’d need to examine those more closely to verify credentials.

    6. Pan Zagloba

      Caption on one of the photos

      A woman in an orange bikini top holds onto a rusted railing inside the power plant’s cooling tower

      Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4639278/Fury-Czech-power-plant-holds-bikini-beauty-contest.html#ixzz4lEqzX0TY
      Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

      That…is exactly what is in the photo. But if you tried to help the blind, DM, you should have used more helpful phrases like “curly-haired brunette” or “perky breasts”.

      (I left the social media shit because DM earned it)

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Another helpful phrase might be ‘butterface’?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          They all look like Men

      2. Playa Manhattan

        They have the plant, but we have the power.

    1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      “The Lawfare Project, the nonprofit representing the plaintiffs, noted that there have been numerous other high-profile incidents of anti-Semitism on campus, dating back to 1994 when a 10-foot mural was painted on campus that portrayed yellow Stars of David intertwined with dollar signs, skulls and crossbones, and the words “African Blood.”

      Holy shit. But you know, only white people can be racist.

  23. Rufus the Monocled

    I imagine morale in the Canadian military is not that high these days but there’s always this:

    “Canadian special forces sniper kills an ISIS fighter from TWO MILES away in the longest confirmed kill shot in history”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4628224/Canadian-sniper-kills-ISIS-fighter-TWO-MILES-away.html

    1. Florida Man

      We already discussed this while you were working.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Wor….right *working*.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      And Lou Reed is dead.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        No he’s not. Knock it off.

      2. Brett L

        At least we still have to more talented David Bowie

        1. bacon-magic

          Ground control to Major Brett…

      3. JD

        At least we still have Abe Vigoda.

    1. Why would I want to look like Katy Perry?

      1. Q Continuum

        So you could stare at your own jugs in the mirror?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          aw shucks

          1. Certified Public Asshat

            *cups Scruffy’s breasts*

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            *slaps CPA for being fresh*

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        So you could play with your boobs?

      3. Rufus the Monocled

        Ted looking like a terrible version of Perry (almost like a depressed clown) is something I’d pay to see.

    2. Gilmore

      Old, “blandly cute with big tits” Katy Perry?
      Or “New, Retarded Looking 1980s-German-Electo Bulldyke“-Katy Perry?

      1. Chipwooder

        Now is the time on Sprockets when Katy Perry dances!

        1. Bobarian LMD
      2. Count Potato

        Wait, I though David Bowie died?

      3. Brett L

        I liked naive enough to marry Russell Brand Katy Perry, not older and more cynical Katy Perry

    3. Playa Manhattan

      I’ve seen her up close. NOT ATTRACTIVE.

      I’d give her a 5. Seriously. A Berkeley 5.

      1. FreeSociety

        I would agree wholeheartedly if I knew what a Berkeley 5 amounted to. I give her an everywhere 6. She is more attractive than your average woman, but nothing special, certainly not some kind of sex goddess.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    If Redstone Arsenal is anything like Picatinny Arsenal or any other Army base, nobody there except MPs and DoD Police are armed.

    Isn’t there a new Executive Order (Army Directive?) expanding permissible carry on bases?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      It allows the Base/Post Commander to expand carry.

      I don’t believe any of them have actually done it.

      1. Viking1865

        I highly doubt that any will. If the next Hassan Akbar shows up, that’s just a terrorist attack and no one could have forseen it.

        When Corporal Heckel shoots PFC Jeckel because PFC Jeckel is fucking Heckel’s dependapotomous, then the CO’s career is over.

  25. Gilmore

    My entry for worst journalism of the week award. I am completely unable to follow the narrative.

    I agree the author mangled the first few sentences; but the basic outline seemed pretty clear eventually. Instead of repeating ‘convicted molester’, he should have just clarified that the molestation took place years earlier.

    the 3rd link about the ‘active shooter’ contained this info-tidbit =

    Workers were told to “run hide fight” before the lock down was lifted around 12:30 p.m

    Now *that’s* bad-english Pick one, assholes. Or better yet, how about “Arm Yourselves”

    1. RBS

      Soon after Noce’s body was found stuffed inside a 55-gallon plastic drum inside his Zachary trailer

      Interesting…

      1. Gilmore

        I think the brand of the trailer was probably an unnecessary detail.

        1. JD

          Zachary is a town.

          1. Gilmore

            Which makes it even more-bizarre a usage

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Eventually

    3. Bobarian LMD

      “run hide fight” is the official training short hand.

      1. Get away if you can.
      2. Hide yourself if you can’t.
      3. Go on the attack as a last resort.

      1. Gilmore

        the official training short hand.

        Yeah, i get that, its just that even so…. its still a series of contradictory imperatives that depend entirely on a clarity of context that may not exist.

        also – assuming there are any ‘untrained’ personnel on the premises, how would you expect them to understand the meaning of this sort of tweet? =

        Redstone Arsenal @TeamREDSTONE

        Possible active shooter on the Arsenal. Installation is locked down. Run hide fight.

        i feel like the English language can probably be used in slightly less-absurd ways.

        1. R C Dean

          I read it as shorthand for “set up an ambush”.

  26. Q Continuum

    Alright, to all the Canuckistanis in the audience: we’ve had several articles/comments on Zoolander being a brainless, ur-socialist twat. What I want to know is, does his being Pierre’s son mean he can’t be criticized? I see these parallels with Obama in him and one of Obama’s chief advantages was his skin color being a get out of jail free card for anything and everything. Does Zoolander have anything like that going for him?

    1. John Titor

      Zoolander’s got his diehard followers and cultists, to be sure, but he’s nowhere near immune from criticism. Your locale probably matters a lot. Up here around Sudbury, i.e. rural and backwoods as all hell, people tend to regularly recognize that he’s an idiot. If you were working as a bureaucrat and lived in Ottawa suburbia where everyone leans some degree of Liberal or NDP it might cause some discomfort (although I’ve also known long standing Liberals who openly admit he’s an idiot, but they’re ok with him because at least he’s a popular idiot, or so they think).

      1. Q Continuum

        You live in Sudbury? No shit. I worked on SNOLAB for a while. Beautiful country up there.

        1. John Titor

          Sometimes I wish it were less beautiful, because we’re starting to get Florida style urban retirees problem up here. Except they don’t fuck off in the summer.

          1. Q Continuum

            I’m up to my asshole in California refugees so I know how it goes.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Hawt

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            They will freeze and die soon enough

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      I think he’s open for business but people tend to be tolerant of dopey idiots.

      Me? Can’t stand it. There’s no excuse for his shtick. He’s representing a COUNTRY and as such he has to put it through his thick mush-head not everyone is down with his antics.

      After all, we were told daily about how Harper had to consider the other ‘66% of people who didn’t vote for him’.

      1. John Titor

        I’ll put up with his bullshit virtue signalling if he presents it as his views. The problem is that he doesn’t and constantly pretends to be the ‘voice of Canadians’. I can’t believe he praised Castro ‘on behalf of all Canadians’. That was fucking disgusting.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          That was the final straw for me and forever lost me.

          Seriously, I don’t consider him my PM. I have to respect the office until the term is over but fuck him.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Nope. He’s more of a polarizing Bill Clinton-type, with a whole range of acceptable thought, from “empty-headed pretty boy” to “dynamic young genius”.

      We all agree, however, the The Locks are above reproach.

      1. John Titor

        I kind of thought he looked better with the beard, sort of a throwback to early French Canada look. Or maybe I was just hoping he was Mirror Universe Zoolander.

  27. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Now the raving left is going after….. wait for it…..

    David ‘Milquetoast’ Brooks, Trump Lover Extraordinaire

    http://www.gq.com/story/david-brooks-trump-whitewater

    YEAH THAT’S WHY THERE’S AN ENORMOUS FAR-RANGING INVESTIGATION GOING ON AS WE SPEAK YOU COMPLETE DUNCE. “Given that an army of prosecutorial masters have been assigned to look into collusion, obstruction, money laundering, and hooker piss orgies, perhaps there’s a touch of fire to this smoke, but one can never know!”

    But as the Trump-Russia story has evolved, it is striking how little evidence there is that any underlying crime occurred — that there was any actual collusion between the Donald Trump campaign and the Russians.

    Well shit man, maybe that’s what Robert Mueller is trying to find. Maybe you should wait to see what he’s got instead of sitting there and formally declaring the whole thing a sham. Maybe you could put a researcher on the case, and then marry that researcher.

    1. B.P.

      GQ? They’re a leftist hack shelter, too?* I don’t really know why a fashion magazine (or whatever the hell GQ is) needs a politics columnist anyway, but it’s all so predictable.

      *Not meant as a defense of David Brooks. No. Not even a little.

      1. mr simple

        To be fair, he doesn’t seem to be much of a columnist. I didn’t (couldn’t) read the whole thing, but it read like a half-drunken frat boy spewing out shit he thinks makes him look tough and will get him laid.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t see any pubes or crushed dreams.

      1. Caput Lupinum

        They’re in the trunk, with Warty’s other leavings.

  28. Rufus the Monocled

    Why the left are deranged and illogical:

    Yashar Ali ✔@yashar
    WATCH: John McEnroe apparently thinks Serena Williams is a hysterical woman who may fall apart because of his comments and go into labor

    Not what he said or meant.

    AT ALL.

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      You want some real controversy? Would she be ranked at all on the men’s tour? Answer: no.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        McEnroe was being KIND when he said 700.

        I’m serious.

        1. Q Continuum

          Men and women excel at different things. It has absolutely nothing to do with individuals’ value as human beings. Because a woman cannot beat up Manny Pacquiao says nothing about whether she is valued and lovable and all that shit. Why can’t the Left accept that?

          1. Bobarian LMD

            This actually makes a pretty cogent argument.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            Exactly. The interviewer asked along the lines of ‘why did you have to classify (or was it qualify) it by saying she was a women? Why not just say the best player?’

            Er, because that would imply and implicate the men. She asked him to be a disingenuous cuck like the left are accustomed to.

            Progthought goes something like:

            ‘Why can’t you just go with the narrative and why do you hate black pregnant tennis players?’

            And once again most of the people making the most noise probably don’t even know how to hold a racket.

  29. BigT

    CNN takes it on the chin!
    https://theintercept.com/2017/06/27/cnn-journalists-resign-latest-example-of-media-recklessness-on-the-russia-threat/

    “That there is now a fundamental problem with reporting on Russia appears to be a fact accepted even by CNN executives. In the wake of this latest debacle, a CNN editor issued a memo, leaked to BuzzFeed, imposing new editorial safeguards on “any content involving Russia.” That is a rather remarkable indictment on media behavior when it comes to Moscow.

    The importance of this journalistic malfeasance when it comes to Russia, a nuclear-armed power, cannot be overstated. This is the story that has dominated U.S. politics for more than a year. Ratcheting up tensions between these two historically hostile powers is incredibly inflammatory and dangerous. All kinds of claims, no matter how little evidence there is to support them, have flooded U.S. political discourse and have been treated as proven fact.

    And that’s all independent of how journalistic recklessness fuels, and gives credence to, the Trump administration’s campaign to discredit journalism generally. The president wasted no time exploiting this latest failure to attack the media:

    Wow, CNN had to retract big story on “Russia,” with 3 employees forced to resign. What about all the other phony stories they do? FAKE NEWS!

    — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 27, 2017

    Given the stakes, reporting on these matters should be done with the greatest care. As this long line of embarrassments, retractions, and falsehoods demonstrates, the exact opposite mentality has driven media behavior over the last year.”

    1. Gilmore

      major U.S. media outlets have published claims about the Russia Threat that turned out to be completely false — always in the direction of exaggerating the threat and/or inventing incriminating links between Moscow and the Trump circle. In virtually all cases, those stories involved evidence-free assertions from anonymous sources that these media outlets uncritically treated as fact, only for it to be revealed that they were entirely false.

      What’s probably MOST remarkable about this is that being 100% incorrect over and over again has not dissuaded any of these organizations in the slightest.

      Greenwald does a good job here pointing out the obvious = its not a matter of these orgs making ‘honest mistakes’. They do it because its both good for their TEAM-narrative, and it provides healthy ratings.

      blatantly inane anti-Trump conspiracists and Russia conspiracies now command such a large audience: because there is a voracious appetite among anti-Trump internet and cable news viewers for stories, no matter how false, that they want to believe are true (and, conversely, expressing any skepticism about such stories results in widespread accusations that one is a Kremlin sympathizer or outright agent).

      if there’s any change to the pattern in the near future (e.g. CNN’s recent leaked internal policy that ‘anything to do with Russia’ now gets an added layer of review) its not because there’s any self criticism going on, its because they simply want to insure themselves against killing the cash-cow.

  30. Gilmore

    Dead Racoon Intended For Use As Crab Bait Confused For Dead Dog Which Prompted Redneck Roadside Justice

    Or, as they say in Florida: “Tuesday”. This was not in florida.

    1. Count Potato

      Why the hell would anyone shoot someone for dragging a dead dog?

      1. Gilmore

        (makes “dude, you’re asking the wrong guy” gesture)

        Yokels gonna yokel

        1. Count Potato

          True, there is probably no good answer to that question.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      I cannot adequately formulate judgement on this story as I do not know the race/ethnicity of every single individual involved.

      Piss-poor reporting.

    3. Brett L

      What kind of crabs do you catch dragging a dead animal behind a car, anyways?

      1. Mad Scientist

        Hopefully not coconut crabs.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Don’t pretend that you don’t know.

        If you actually don’t know, YOU KNOW SOMEBODY WHO DOES.

        1. Brett L

          I can’t quite come up with the right Cajun joke here.

          “You heard ’bout Boudreaux gettin’ dragged to death? Some guy was draggin’ a roadkill behind his truck and ol’ Boudreaux got caught like a fish on a hook. Thibodeaux was so busy flaggin’ traffic, he didn’ even notice.”

          1. RBS

            Thibodeaux

            Pronounced “Thib-uh-day-ox.”

          2. Suthenboy

            Tib-ah-doh

      3. Bobarian LMD

        The kind of crabs that result in nobody in FL having pubic hair.

    4. tarran

      Holy shit!

      That’s my ex’s home town! 😀

  31. Q Continuum

    They’re always after my (((strawberry smiggles))).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVgMFY1JFGU

  32. Gilmore

    I have not really read this whole story, but the take-away I’ve chosen is, “We Can’t Entirely Limit The Child-Molesting In Kids Gymnastics: Its Part of The Sport

    1. Q Continuum

      Well, why else does anyone become a gymnastics coach?

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        Well, why else does anyone become a gymnastics coach?

        It’s less creepy than measuring the girls for their uniforms.

        From what I understand.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Policies? Fucking Policies?

      Were gymnasts molested or not? If so, were the offenders prosecuted?

      We talkin bout policies. /Allen Iverson

  33. Enough About Palin

    A Florida man spent 90 days in jail after police officers who stopped him for driving without headlights said white powder found in his car was cocaine.
    But Karlos Cashe walked out of jail last week after lab results determined the powder in the handyman’s car was actually drywall.

    http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2017/06/27/drywall-powder-mistaken-for-cocaine/

    1. Mad Scientist

      And nothing else happened?

    2. Q Continuum

      Well, it could have been cocaine so we needed to keep him locked up for the children.

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        WHAT IF KIDS START SNORTING DRYWALL?? EVER THINK OF THAT??

      2. Mad Scientist

        All the coke addicts I know leave a coating of it on their car seat and in the foot well. It’s not like the stuff is expensive or anything.

    3. F. Stupidity Jr.

      I can’t believe “Karlos Cashe” isn’t some politician’s alias.

      1. Q Continuum

        Once I get into elected office and start sexting my secretary’s 15 year old daughter, I’ll be sure to use that one.

    4. Brett L

      So, no harm no foul, right? I’m sure his employer was waiting for him with a job and the state compensated him for his lawyer and back wages?

  34. Sour Kraut

    I read the delayed orgasm article from the morning links (https://aeon.co/essays/delayed-orgasm-the-sexual-technique-thats-better-than-sex). Who has the time for 8 hour orgasms? With that much time, I could have an orgasm and a day hike. And another orgasm when I got back. Maybe my worldview is just too narrow.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Isn’t that the “tantric sex” thing that Sting (singer, not wrestler) was talking about like 20 years ago?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Sting was actually describing his cocaine problem, and how long it took him to nut. SOOO TANTRIC

    2. Q Continuum

      An 8 hour orgasm probably causes Alzheimer’s or something.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Can the DA be charged with obstructing justice?

    2. Vhyrus

      So statute of limitations of murder is 3 years in Dallas? I have food in my house older than that.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I would say ew…but I am going to assume you have several years worth of vegetable omelet MRE.

        1. Vhyrus

          Cans…. lots of cans.

  35. Count Potato

    “The National Endowment for the Arts is spending $20,000 for a musical about a lesbian illegal immigrant who is in love with an ICE agent.

    The San Francisco Mime Troupe has received $461,000 from the NEA since 1998.”

    http://freebeacon.com/culture/feds-spend-20000-musical-illegal-immigrant-lesbian/

    1. Q Continuum

      And it’s being acted by MIMES? Ok, I give up. Bring on Sharia law.

      1. one true athena

        Wouldn’t Sharia law only restrict female mimes? So that’s no solution.

        Big rock from outer space, though…

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Maybe Cthulhu can put us out of our misery. I’ll consult the Necronomicon tonight.

    2. Gilmore

      Obligatory = Mime Is Money

    3. peachy rex

      LEARN THE WORDS

    4. thrakkorzog

      They just need to put Lord Vetinari in charge.

  36. Seriously OT: Anybody out there know where I could source 50,000 metric tons of petroleum coke? Like pretty soon?

    1. Mad Scientist

      Don’t you live near half the refineries in the country? Just stop by each one with a measuring cup in your hand and ask if you can borrow 10,000 tons.

      1. You would think it was that easy. But no.

        1. Brasidas

          If we were all still Koch stooges, you could have asked for your monthly payment in coke.

    2. F. Stupidity Jr.

      50,000 metric tons of petroleum coke

      Dude, you are jonesing hard.

      1. Seems legit.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          You should have seen what I found in OMWC’s drive.

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            That was one of the riskiest clicks ever.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            I’m really , really, REALLY afraid to click that…

            Especially after the one above.

    3. Gilmore

      Unfortunately Glenn Frey and David Crosby are both unavailable.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      Yes. But I don’t like you, and therefore, I’m foregoing the 7 figure commission.

    5. RBS

      Funny you should ask. Earlier this month I received an email from a Chinese gentleman seeking to partner with my for all sorts petroleum industry transactions.

      1. RBS

        *my firm…

      2. Those little yellow bastards are the problem. They’re buying it all up.

        1. The Last American Hero

          Well duh, since they bought most of Vancouver, now they need a steady supply of power, or something.

      3. Bobarian LMD

        Hmm… I’ve been in touch with a Nigerian prince who could maybe help out, once the check clears.

    6. From the University of Michigan.

    7. Mad Scientist

      50,000 tons is 50,000,000 kilos of coke. What’s the street value on that?

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Chevron unload new coke drums from a ship and drive it overland a few towns because there was no other way to get it to the refinery?

        1. Mad Scientist

          They should have just stuck with the old recipe and the real sugar.

    8. quincy

      Since we’re trying to trade in industrial chemicals here, does anybody have a need for 50-100lbs of Antimony Trioxide. Also, I have a 55 gallon drum of Methylene Chloride. Come on over, Quincy is ready to deal.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      That sounds actually swanky instead of Spearmint Rhino swanky.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        What do you have against beef curtains?

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Nothing, they just don’t go with my personal aesthetic.

  37. JD

    Home from work with seven saved incognito tabs in my browser from you all today. Well done. Be right back.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Right right back. 2 min. Tops.

  38. Heroic Mulatto

    If you have an hour, a really good talk about why we are so far from the Star Trek computer.

    This link skips to the part that perked my interest, though.

  39. Trigger Hippie

    ‘My air is conditioned! (But damn it takes a long time to cool down a house)’

    Next year, a day or so before the forecast calls for AC to be necessary, close off all of the vents on the highest/upper floor with cardboard and duct tape. Then place one bucket of ice in front of a box fan(as pictured in a morning/evening link I’m too lazy to dig up) on your home’s lowest level and another at your home’s highest level. Between the cool air descending from the top and the cool air that has slowly accumulated and forced the warmer air upwards, you should be able to reduce the thermostat’s workload required to meet your ideal home temp substantially.

    1. Trigger Hippie

      *’the cool air that has slowly accumulated and forced the warmer air upwards,…’

      *from the lowest level

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Hi. I’m not sure if you’re aware of a place called “Florida”, but the A/C never really goes off.

      1. Brett L

        We usually have that one day in February. I assume that’s what he’s talking about.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        What’s A/C?

        1. Mad Scientist

          It’s a 1st world thing. Don’t worry about it.

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      And you will blow up your entire system due to excess static air pressure, don’t give out bad advise like that, it could cost Thousands of dollars, seriously,
      Fuck/ Shakes head

      1. Trigger Hippie

        I’ve been doing that off and on for 15 years, including my current house, and have never ruined any heating or cooling system in any way whatsoever.

        Not sure what your ranting about.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Don’t listen to him. He just does it for a living.

          1. Trigger Hippie

            Just asking why he thought that was a bad idea. Not trying to be belligerent.

            Sorry if it came across that way.

            If he finds my response below unsatisfactory, I more than welcome him to explain why. Maybe I’ve just been lucky or moved before the consequences of my actions took hold.

            *shrugs*

          2. Playa Manhattan

            I assumed that you were running the blower while the vents were taped off. If not, it’s fine.

            But…. If you’re using ice that was made inside the conditioned space in your house, you’re not coming out ahead. Timeshifting?maybe….

          3. Trigger Hippie

            Does four bags of ice you bought at the gas station nearby your home for $5 count? Or would that price not only exceed the cost required to fill up your ice trays enough times to meet the same volume, but also be less cost effective than just holding out for as long as possible then making the AC work overtime to reach its thermostat requirement?

            I’d be lying if I said I ever worked on an algorithm to figure that outside of casual monthly heating and cooling bill statements.

          4. Playa Manhattan

            I’m just going by thermodynamics. If you’re using ice from a freezer that’s inside your house, it’s a losing proposition. In aggregate, the process heats your house more than it cools it.

            If you bought the ice at the gas station, the heat was created somewhere else. Go for it. I don’t know if it’s “cost effective”, but at least it cools the house down.

          5. Trigger Hippie

            ‘I’m just going by thermodynamics.’
            Always a safe default position to take highly probable.

            *runs hands over razor shaved head that hides a Vlad Dracul Widow’s Peak, inspects chin hair that is now almost 25% grey, and suddenly realizes that I have tattoos older than a few of my subordinates*

            Yeah, entropy is a bitch.

      2. Trigger Hippie

        If you meant when a person keeps blocking the vents while you run the AC, yes, you’re correct. But I was saying use that technique a good 6-12 hours before removing the fans, usually overnight, then turning on the AC.

        And to the response above about Florida’s temp/humidity, fair enough.

        Never been there and assumed you had around two months before AC was required.

  40. AlmightyJB

    I’m going to assume you are sitting in the freezer section at Walmart with the freezer doors open, sitting in a lawn chair, in your tighty whities and a wife beater, drinking natty lite out of a can.

  41. Raven Nation

    So, have a diet/food question. I’m on board with the idea that one of the main causes of overweight, diabetes, etc. is the consumption of large amounts of carbohydrate. And, following from that, that meat, cheese, etc. are not the evils that we’ve been led to believe. I’ve been working hard to cut back on my carb intake which means dumping bread, potatoes, pasta, fruit in large quantities, etc.

    However, I’ve also been recently reading about the idea the acid/alkaline balance and the alkaline diet. From a brief review, it would appear that the number of foods that fit the acid-alkaline diet and also fit the low-carb diet is pretty small.

    Do Glibs have any thoughts on this, particularly, the alkaline-acid idea?

    *Standard disclaimer they everyone is different in the way their body processes food.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Do Glibs have any thoughts on this, particularly, the alkaline-acid idea

      It’s silly.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Yep.

        If you disagree, I have some alkaline water I’d like to sell you at a steep markup.

    2. Sean

      Just go keto. Get rid of the sugars and most of the carbs.
      It requires some commitment. Although it becomes much easier over time.

      Meat, cheese, (most) vegetables, and nuts are all your friends. Grains are not.

      Plus bourbon is keto approved…how can you argue with that?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        All 80 proof liquor is roughly similar. It’s distilled. Water, ethanol, and flavor.

        1. Sean

          True, I just happen to be a fan of bourbon.
          Gin, vodka, scotch, tequila, etc. are all good to go.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Dry red wine too. Almost no sugars.

          2. Sean

            Yup. Dry red wine with dinner, then bourbon after dinner.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            ^^^THIS GUY GETS IT^^^

          4. Old Man With Candy

            SugarFree left us with Rowan’s Creek and Basil Hayden’s. So yeah, bourbon after dinner tonight.

      2. Q Continuum

        Seconded. Been keto for 9 months, not really for weight loss purposes but I did lose some weight. I started it mainly just to try it out and absolutely love it. I have more energy, I’m more satiated and, it may be placebo, but I feel mentally sharper. The acid-alkaline thing sounds like voodoo; keto has got decades of research backing it. Give it a shot, you’ll feel like crap for 3-4 days and then you’ll be on your way.

        PS: Buy the keto strips. They only cost 10 bucks at Walgreens.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      Fruit is OK. It’s the grains and starches.

      I eat like an absolute pig. No regrets. But I basically eat just meat, green vegetables, and fruits. I don’t do it purposefully, it’s just what I like. A ribeye, broccoli, and asparagus is a perfect dinner to me. If I ate like a pig AND I liked carbs, I’d be in a bit of trouble.

      If you want to get tubby, eat the appetizer bread and order pasta for an entree.

      1. Sean

        Depends how sensitive the individual is. Some fruit can be very high sugar. Berries are usually ok to include into a keto lifestyle.

    4. Old Man With Candy

      Do Glibs have any thoughts on this, particularly, the alkaline-acid idea?

      Given that the stomach is filled with concentrated acid, worrying about the pH of your food is like worrying about causing coastal flooding by pissing in the ocean.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Also, breathing/carbonic acid.

        I have a better way of getting rid of CO2, but it’s… flavored.

    5. Raven Nation

      Hey, thanks all. Yeah, I skimmed some stuff on the acid-alkaline thing and it seemed off. My warning bells go off whenever a diet claims to be able to stop most disease including cancer. Interestingly, the gym I’m using over the summer is promoting it.

      I started eliminating carbs about a month ago, dropping bread, pasta, fries, etc. Hardest one has been not ordering hash browns with breakfast. The rule of thumb I saw on vegetables is that if it grows above ground it’s good, below ground probably not.

      PM: thanks for the comment on fruit. Since I’ve just started, I’ve cut almost all fruit although I figure if I can make some headway I can add it back in in small quantities.

      On the alcohol front, fortunately my tastes run to Irish Whiskey and single malts* so I’m good there.

      *And fine sake when we do sushi.

      Thanks again, everyone.

      1. Brasidas

        Potatoes get a bad rap. They are a very nutritious food and can be very filling and satisfying.

        But do not prepare them with fats. Carb & Fat combos just make you want to eat more. Bake or boil and go easy on the salt.

        Or don’t eat them if that is easier, whatever works.

  42. Chipwooder

    Going back to that McMansion Hell blog….I had never heard of it before, so I’ve been checking it out. It is mostly very funny, but there is something about it that rubs me the wrong way. Hard to say exactly what, maybe the generally smug tone? Or perhaps her constant harping on “that’s too much space!” I have a 1300 sf house – trust me, I would LOVE to have too much space rather than being shoehorned into this house.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      She’s very into sustainable bullshit and complaining about “affordable living”.

      Some of the stuff is very funny, i.e. columns that “skipped leg day”, but other times, she tries too hard and fails.

      1. Q Continuum

        How does she feel about Soviet era public housing?

        1. Chipwooder

          Based off this quote….probably a big fan:

          The trickiest of the three is, of course,
          beauty, as ideas of beauty differs from person to person. For example, I hate McMansions, but love Brutalist architecture, which is loathed by many.

          I must say, it will make it a bit harder to take her critiques seriously after reading about her love for hideous Brutalism.

    2. one true athena

      It’s kind of the reverse of the gushing over Tiny Houses. Look, people, I had an 800 sqft house up until last year; it’s not that great.

      1. Brasidas

        When I moved from an 800 sq ft house to 1700, I kept a room empty and would just go lay down in the open space.

        It was amazing.