STEVE SMITH SUNDAY EVENING LINKS

STEVE SMITH DO LINKS FOR BIG FUNNY HEAD TONIGHT – HE SAY HE HAVE TO GET READY TO SEE RECRUITER TOMORROW. STEVE SMITH THINK JOINING UP, SO HE COULD BE PART OF UN PEACEKEEPERS MIGHT ALLOW FOR MORE RAPE, BUT NOT LIKE TAKING ORDERS AND UNIFORMS. STEVE SMITH DOES LIKE GIVING LINKS. AND RAPING HIKERS. FIRST, LINKS FOR CHOSEN PEOPLES OF BIG FUNNY HEAD:

STEVE SMITH IS CLEAN. STEVE SMITH HAS ALIBI.

TRUMP IS TOOL OF BILLIONAIRES. THIS IS KNOWN, EVEN TO STEVE SMITH. OH WAIT.

STEVE SMITH ARRIVE ONE MINUTE TOO LATE FOR PERFECT AFTERNOON.

STEVE SMITH HAS COMPROMISE FOR THESE PEOPLE. INVOLVE PRODUCTION OF SASQUATCH RAPE VIDEOS.

THERE ARE THINGS EVEN STEVE SMITH WON’T RAPE.

 

 

Comments

285 responses to “STEVE SMITH SUNDAY EVENING LINKS”

  1. SP

    Why do you hate kayakers? (First!)

    1. STEVE SMITH FIRST IN WAR, FIRST IN PEACE, FIRST IN, AH, CERTAIN PARTS OF HIS COUNTRYMEN AND WOMEN.

    2. Mr Lizard

      STEVE SMITH PREFER STABLE PLATFORM

      1. Supposedly Warren Harding once had sex with his mistress in a canoe.

        1. …where he said “this reminds me of the temperance beverages the prohibitionists want me to drink…f___ing near water.”

    3. Pope Jimbo

      BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY SHOULD DO THE PADDLING! STEVE SMITH IS THE PADDLERS! KAYAKERS ARE THE PADDLEES (RIGHT BEFORE THE RAPE)

  2. THERE ARE THINGS EVEN STEVE SMITH WON’T RAPE.

    Harsh.

    1. Tundra

      But sensible.

  3. John Titor

    Cuban and Bush both come off like raging cunts in that article. As always, the mere existence of Trump shows their psychological underbellies.

    1. Raven Nation

      If Cuban’s Wikipedia page bears any resemblance to the truth, he’s either ideologically confused or shoots his mouth off without thinking.

      1. RBS

        A little of column A and a little of column B. Plus a ton of money.

    2. MikeS

      Cuban also warned that Trump “might ruin the path” for another billionaire outsider to run for president in the future.

      “He’s not setting the best example,” Cuban said.

      If the path that he’s ruining is Cuban’s and Bush’s path, I say ruin away.

      1. westernsloper

        Amen. Destroy that path, salt the earth, and infest the area surrounding that path with STEVE SMITHS offspring to rape either one of those fuckers if they ever want to walk on it.

      2. Raven Nation

        He cites Ayn Rand positively, donated to EFF, and decried net neutrality. He supported the draft Bloomberg movement and declared paying more taxes to be the most patriotic thing you could do.

    3. MikeS

      And how disconnected from reality is the entire Bush family to think that Jeb could get out of the GOP primary much less win the general?

  4. Juvenile Bluster

    So, as I said at the end of the last thread this is the current freakout among my progressive friends

    tl;dr: THE KOCHES (WHO CONTROL THE GOVERNMENT) WANT TO MAKE IT SO GOVERNORS AND LEGISLATURES PICK SENATORS!!!! A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT!!!!

    (honestly, if you let me choose to repeal the 16th or the 17th Amendment I might go with the 17th)

    1. Repealing the 17th is evil, but repealing the 1st and 2d is just peachy-keen.

      1. dbleagle

        Killing the 17th will hurt the progs because it will return the states into the equation of Federal legislation. The SJW don’t want the Senate to represent the states because many of their ideas are popular only in a handful of states on the coast and Illinois.

        1. MikeS

          I’m too lazy to figure it out right now, but it would be interesting to speculate on the importance of the 17th amendment regarding bills like Social Security, Obamacare, etc… (Making the assumption that the states would have appointed along party lines. Split chambers would muddy those waters)

          1. Viking1865

            Virginia would go from 2 Dem Senators to 2 Republican Senators.

            The real strength of returning the Senate to the states is eliminating unfunded federal mandates and the feds using the money flow to “shape policy”. Return the Senate to the states, and you will see drug legalization sooner rather than later IMO, along with real welfare reform. Too many state legislatures spend a shit load of time bailing out the federal fuckheads.

          2. Holger-da-Dane

            I’m pretty convinced that “checks and balances” were just founder-speak for “we want as much gridlock and as little efficiency as possible, because it’s better for liberty.”

          3. westernsloper

            Yup. I agree. Pisses me off when people say, “they aren’t doing anything!!1111!!” Other than disassembling legislation and killing regulations, I don’t want the assholes doing anything.

        2. Gustave Lytton

          I call BS. States will just implement their own method of selection, which will probably be popular vote as it is now. Either outright or “advisory”. I believe this was already happening in an increasing number of states prior to the passage.

          It’s just like ending mandatory withholding and requiring annual income tax payment to be in one lump sum. It sounds great in theory but sooner or later private third parties will step in to offer escrow service with regular payments, and employers will support such a benefit with automatic deductions from paychecks. Right back in the same place.

    2. Holger-da-Dane

      Couldn’t states just decide to have elections for their Senators anyway?

      But how about this idea, return to a purely constitutionally limited Congress. No need to change anything, just follow the current rules and limits in the Constitution to the letter. Repeal anything that doesn’t comply with the original wording and intent.

      1. Viking1865

        I mean, that’s like saying “Want to stay healthy? Don’t get sick!!!!”

        The main building blocks of the current mega state are:

        1. Direct election of Senators
        2. The income tax
        3. The Fed

        1. Holger-da-Dane

          I won’t necessarily disagree, but the Constitution is pretty limiting, even with those additions.

          The ability to tax doesn’t make, for example, o’care or the nfa constitutionally compliant legislation.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          and 4. A populace composed of a mob of fickle, venal, slope-browed troglodytes.

        3. Holger-da-Dane

          I had a conversation with a friend recently, who considers himself a “constitutionalist”, and I couldn’t convince him that the Constitution doesn’t allow for infringement on speech, even without a First Amendment.

          He said most people would disagree with that statement, and I don’t doubt it. That doesn’t make it less true.

          So people, including those elected to Congress, simply don’t understand how the Constitution works. I’m all for rolling elections of Senators back to the original intent, but I’m not sure it would matter in terms of over reach.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Muh DUMOCRUZEE!

    With so much news, however, perhaps the most shocking and consequential story of all slipped under the radar: A bombshell report in the Nation that the American Legislative Exchange Counsel (ALEC) – the most influential power behind conservative legislation marching through state legislatures – has drafted a proposal to return the power to select U.S. senators to state legislators.

    That’s right: ALEC’s “model legislation” would repeal the 17th amendment, end more than a century of American citizens electing U.S. senators at the ballot box, and empower gerrymandered legislatures to choose senators for us, as was the practice in the 18th and 19th centuries.

    As John Nichols, who broke the story for the Nation, wrote: “If successful, they will reverse one of the great strides toward democracy in American history: the 1913 decision to end the corrupt practice of letting state legislators barter off Senate seats in backroom deals with campaign donors and lobbyists.”

    It’s alternet, so don’t get your hopes up. But it’s fun to watch them writhe and squirm.

    1. This should probably be in response to JB, but there were quite a few states that required the legislature to select the winner of the popular vote.

    1. If Rachel Dolezal can be black Hispanic, so can Kali Uchi and George Zimmerman.

      1. Rick C-137

        But muh intersectionality!

        1. Who cares about your intersectionality, you white cis shitlord?

    2. Rhywun

      Nope… I just can’t. That is derp overload.

      1. Rick C-137

        Paging Derptologist!! We have a Derp od in the evening linx!

        1. Rhywun

          To be fair, my tolerance for that garbage is lower than for some of you specialists.

          1. But Enough About Me

            Just think of Glibs as your derp Naloxone.

          2. Rick C-137

            Pretty much, we filter the shit, pull off the and show them for what they are

          3. Pull off the what? I assume you meant mask?

          4. Rick C-137

            Yeah, I mostly post from my phone, so I really do pretty good at that ?

      2. Rick C-137

        Paging Derptoligist! Derptogoligist to the evening linx, with 20 cc’s of Hayek! We have an od

        1. Derpetologist

          Our only hope is trans-dental electromicide. Here, take these wires and shock him every 5 seconds.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqbQzmHOLP8

          1. Rick C-137

            Thanks dr. Nick!

            Did you study at the Beverly Hills upstairs medical school too?

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Me tupe too slow.

    1. I wish I could tupe faster.

      1. But Enough About Me

        Really, when you get right down tuit, I’m tuping as fast as I can.

      2. Mr Lizard

        STEVE SMITH TUPE FASTER THAN ANYONE IF TUPE MEAN RAPE

        1. Rick C-137

          Tupe with Lupe?

          1. A 55-gallon drum of lupe, no less.

          2. Or did you mean Tupe with Lupe?

        2. But Enough About Me

          As in “This won’t hurt a bit now did it” fast?

          1. Mr Lizard

            STEVE SMITH NOT LIE ABOUT SERIOUS MATTERS

    2. Rick C-137

      Typo or crypto Tulpa cypher, you decide!

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Lying hack finds credulous dupes to plug her smears of James Buchanan.

    So in the case of elected officials, he said that their real interest, their main interest was being re-elected. He was in public finance, so his contribution there was to say that because they were interested in being elected and because they weren’t paying for the things that they were doing from their own pockets, they didn’t care about running up deficits. They would promise one thing to environmentalists, say, and one thing to retirees and another thing to public schools and not care about raising adequate revenue to cover those things. He was not entirely wrong about that. But his theory of the motives of public actors was so cynical as to be utterly corrosive of the norms of a democratic society, as people pointed out along the way, but he would not listen.

    We wouldn’t want people to know their “public servants” are human, and entirely susceptible to venal self-interest. That would hurt the narrative.

    1. But Enough About Me

      Seriously? Good God.

      Public Choice Theory is so well-accepted throughout Economics and Political Science that I’ve never actually met anyone in either of those disciplines (and one of my B.A.’s is a double major in those two fields) who was willing to argue against it like that. That’s, like, freakin’ astounding . . .

      1. Rick C-137

        Astounding or the in lockstep with the inevitable march of progress?

      2. But Enough About Me

        “. . . his theory of the motives of public actors was so clinical as to be utterly confirmatory of the norms of a democratic society . . .”

        Fixed it for her.

      3. juris imprudent

        Duke has found it’s Bellesiles.

        1. They already had Nifong….

      4. That’s pretty wild. When I was in the business of taking Poli Sci classes I had professors ranging from damn near Marxists to Milton Friedman’s bastard son and everything around and in-between, and every single one took Public Choice Theory as a given. Cynics would say it was career preservation, optimists would say that it was a case of having to stay in power in order to accomplish whatever good they were going to do, but there was never a serious doubt that people in the public sector weren’t motivated by the same incentives that motivate everyone else.

    2. Our “public servants” think they’re our masters.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Define “norms of democratic society’, honey.

      1. Don’t call me honey, toots.

    1. But Enough About Me

      Tree rats. Whatta ya gonna do?

    2. Rick C-137

      He should come down south, our squirrels are aggressive as fuck, or visit Reasons comment section

      1. Haybob

        Here in the Midwest they’re pretty calm but they destroy everything. Go a little bit further west and prairie dogs are the squirrel replacement.

    3. Rhywun

      I wonder what that guy is “marketing” in Prospect Park…

      1. Rick C-137

        Something something bathroom stalls

        1. Rhywun

          I was thinking more along the lines of “Smoke, smoke, smoke…”

          1. Rick C-137

            Why not both?? If he were Mexican there would be a libertarian trifecta

    4. I scared a bear this morning on my walk.

      1. MikeS

        Was it shittiing in the woods?

        1. DOOMco

          does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?

          1. MikeS

            Is the Pope a communist?

          2. Ask Eddie.

        2. I was in the woods, but I didn’t get close enough to see if the bear was shitting.

  8. Gilmore

    re: Jane Sanders, responding to someone in the GOP who pointed out that Jane was the beneficiary of millions in Federal Loans she couldn’t afford =

    Jane Sanders, in a recent interview with the Boston Globe, referring to Toensing [VT GOP chair], said she found “it incredibly sexist that basically he’s going after my husband by destroying my reputation, and that’s not okay.”

    Argumentum Mah Vagine

    1. DOOMco

      I hate them.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Argumentum ad cunnum

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Flapping Vag Jane.

    4. At the risk of being a dick, her vagine is no longer a relevant factor in any decisions, I would hazard.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Cuban, who owns the Dallas Mavericks basketball team, said he may challenge Trump in 2020.

    “If he lasts four years, I’ll be there to kick his (butt),” Cuban declared as the young New York crowd roared. “We’ll see. I’m not making any proclamations yet.”

    Cuban has said some things I can agree with, but he does not come across as a guy with any real depth to him. He made a lot of money from a narrowly focused business idea, and now he owns a fucking basketball team. Go on, run.

    1. Rick C-137

      The debate would be hilarious,
      The apprentice vs shark tank!

    2. The Zenome Project

      Is this the “nega-Trump” that some of the Glibs were talking about? I don’t see it. He likes capitalism too much for the progs to vote for him. I could see him try to primary Trump as a NeverTrumper R, though. He wouldn’t get very far, I don’t think.

      1. Haybob

        I don’t think Trump runs for re-election in 2020. He didn’t want to be president and he didn’t think he would win.

        1. The Zenome Project

          I really hope that he does run again, mainly because I think that he’s exposed the true lines in DC as not being Team Blue vs. Team Red, but the entire establishment vs. the “stupid rubes” and the “kooks”.

          1. Haybob

            While I get pure joy out of the mayhem he has caused. I’d prefer an outsider who isn’t an idiot.

          2. John Titor

            Well now you’re just asking for too much.

          3. The Zenome Project

            See, everyone’s a stupid rube compared to the Glibertariat, right? (shit-eating grin follows)

          4. At least we have an outsider idiot, not an insider idiot like you guys have.

          5. The Zenome Project

            I don’t think that Trump’s stupid. He’s not a 4-D chess grandmaster, but he has surprisingly good political instincts and understands that playing to his base, rather than the majority, is how he gets his support. I also think that having Trump for 8 years makes Rand 2024 much more likely to happen.

          6. juris imprudent

            You’ve been hittin’ AC’s stash, haven’t you?

          7. The Zenome Project

            Possibly, is that purple and pink clouds that I see?

        2. Viking1865

          Oh that would be the ultimate troll. We would then hear decades of the Left : “He chose not to run because he knew he would loose!!!!!!”

  10. DOOMco

    Our blueberry plants are ready. I was picking them for 5 minutes and have 4 gallon bags filled. Didn’t even make a dent into the plants.
    They are early, usually it’s another week or two before we start. The birds usually do a number on them while we try to harvest, but this year they don’t know the blueberries are early?
    I think it’s from all the rain they had this spring followed by some good heat and sun the last few weeks.

    1. Rick C-137

      Nice. Are you doing the good capitalistic thing and selling your bounty?

      1. DOOMco

        We have 5 full sized bushes. I don’t know if it’s enough to sell. I did tell the parents we could with how many they made this year.
        We will probably give some to friends around town, and freeze whatever is left for the winter.

      2. DOOMco

        Trying to talk dad into growing hops in the lower field.

        1. Rick C-137

          Do it, farmers market types will eat it up.

    2. Haybob

      I’ll consider getting into farming when this is cheap enough.

      https://farmbot.io/

      1. Haybob

        *gardening

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        I don’t care how much it is, it’s worth it for the weeding function alone.

        1. juris imprudent

          Spoken like a man with an aching back.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Don’t you know it!

        2. DOOMco

          I could use it. There are some vines growing on the blueberry plants and they need to go. I’ll be crawling around tomorrow.
          It will not be fun.

        3. I use my orphans for weeding.

      3. MikeS

        I couldn’t watch past the opening sermon.

      4. Pope Jimbo

        I missed the part where it had a gun to kill the rabbits and deer who regularly maraude our veggie patch.

        The wife went on a hour rant last Friday about the deer chomping a big part of her lettuce patch.

    3. I blame global warming.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      “Our blueberry plants”

      Man, these euphemisms are awfully artful.

  11. Gilmore

    re: the Middle East story…

    the link says “israel-arrests-hamas-members-in-west-bank-after-stabbing”

    but the story it links to is about metal detectors @ the Al Aqsa mosque.

    there’s no mention of any terror attacks until near the bottom 1/3 of the story; and those are lead-off by mentions of ‘palestinians killed’ in apparently undeserved way

    Three Palestinians were killed and several dozen wounded after protesters burned tires and threw stones and firecrackers. Israeli troops responded with live rounds, rubber bullets and tear gas.

    Late Friday night, a 20-year-old Palestinian stabbed and killed three members of an Israeli family in their home in a West Bank settlement.

    The victims were identified Sunday as Yosef Salomon, 70, and his adult children, 46-year-old Chaya and 35-year-old Elad. The elder Solomon’s daughter-in-law escaped to a separate room to shelter her young children.

    So basically… the headline was *supposed* to be about a guy murdering 3 people. …

    …but somehow between the time it first got written, and final publication, it became about Israeli Security measures – which isn’t really news, but is an ongoing debate about how the religious sites are secured – and literally 3 sentences buried in the bottom regarding the recent news item.

    i think i see some version of this same sort of “bury the story” M.O. every single day.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Paging Al Gore…

    General Motors is apparently considering killing off six slow-selling models by 2020, according to Reuters. But is that really likely? The news is mentioned in a story where UAW president Dennis Williams notes that slumping US car sales could threaten jobs at low-volume factories. Still, we’re skeptical that GM is really serious about killing those cars.

    Reuters specifically calls out the Buick LaCrosse, Cadillac CT6, Cadillac XTS, Chevrolet Impala, Chevrolet Sonic, and the Chevrolet Volt. Most of these have been redesigned or refreshed within the past few model years. Four – the LaCrosse, Impala, CT6, and Volt – are built in the Hamtramck factory in Detroit. That plant has made only 35,000 cars this year – down 32 percent from 2016. A typical GM plant builds 200,000-300,000 vehicles a year.

    Oh, no! They can’t put their “iconic” Volt on the chopping block just because they don’t sell worth a damn. Won’t somebody think of the subsidies?

    1. But if they stop making Chevy Sonics, what will car rental companies offer as the bargain-basement economy option?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    I’m too lazy to figure it out right now, but it would be interesting to speculate on the importance of the 17th amendment regarding bills like Social Security, Obamacare, etc…

    The term “Unfunded Mandate” leaps to the forefront of my consciousness.

    1. Rick C-137

      One of the first teaching moments for libertarianism in my political science courses was in state local government, talking about just that

  14. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not really a fan of blueberries, but I could go for a tart, right about now.

    1. DOOMco

      These are very nice and sweet. Better than anything I’ve bought, anyway.
      My little brother wants to make a tart! I was thinking pancakes in the morning.

      1. juris imprudent

        Our wild raspberries should peak this next week.

        1. Pope Jimbo
    2. Rhywun

      Only 4 days til Thicc Thursday

    3. BigT

      You could go for a tart? Here you go.

      1. Heroic Mulatto
        1. MikeS

          That guy can cook for me any time.

          Like, any time I’m out of town.

      2. RegicidalManiac

        #13 looks like Grace Park, and I’m fully in favor of that.

  15. Derpetologist

    random thoughts

    It turns out the US Navy has 19 ships that could be called aircraft carriers. The other 9 are assault ships capable of carrying some aircraft.

    Given all the US military plane crashes that have happened this year, I think that $12 billion spent on the new carrier would have been better spent fixing all those old planes.

    Nukes or not, a war with North Korea would be very bloody. Even if the Norks had no nukes or decided not to use them, they can do plenty of damage with their artillery and chemical weapons. The basic equation remains: is it worth the deaths of thousands of Americans and Koreans to depose the North Korean govt?

    1. The Zenome Project

      I say that it’s best to stay as far away from war as possible unless NK is actually insane enough to attack one of our bases. I think that Kim’s intimidation tactics are (mostly) not intended for the Americans, but rather for his own people.

      1. That’s been the traditional take on Nork sabre-rattling. In fact, I’ve read periodically that there’s a notion going around that the Kim du jour is really a figurehead at this point, and there’s a cabal of senior military running the show. The showmanship is a way to convince the populous that a.) they’re threatened, but b.) the government will save them, in the form of a powerful military, so c.) shut up and thank a servicemember.

        1. Rhywun

          I’ve read a few times that the saber-rattling often means they want food or some other aid – so I was thinking it’s being aimed at the UN.

          1. There does seem to be a near-Pavlovian reaction whereby the Norks get hungry, launch some missiles, and suddenly SPAM and powdered milk starts getting shipped over.

    2. Bob

      Crashes were likely not caused from old age or poor maintenance.

      1. LT_Fish

        And technically the aircraft (not counting helos or ospreys) capable of operating off an LHA/LHD (aka the harriers – are getting pretty long in the tooth too – without identified replacements barring the F-35 – and I doubt they’ll certify those for LHA operations, but I suppose it’s a possibility).

    3. LT_Fish

      Again…let’s put it in perspective. We recently decommissioned the USS Enterprise. Yes, it’s a long, slow process – but it had a 50 year operational lifespan.

      That’s what you’re talking about with a CVN. 50 years of operation (with occasional yard periods – I’ll grant you those cost additional $$$). $12 billion is a hell of a lot, but it’s a long-term investment.

  16. Derpetologist

    some extra strength derp

    The Argument Gun Rights Supporters Can’t Respond To
    There’s no principled distinction between a gun and a magic death-button.
    by Nathan J. Robinson

    https://www.currentaffairs.org/2016/06/the-argument-gun-rights-supporters-cant-respond-to

    ***
    The concept of the death-app is disturbing. In fact, it’s a dystopian horror. If people could simply kill whomever they pleased from their smartphones at any moment, nobody could ever dare to offend another for fear of inducing them to swipe right. Even if murder remained illegal, the idea of giving impulsive and irrational human beings access to such an easy, mundane means of taking life seems profoundly troubling.

    Yet there is no principled difference whatsoever between the death app and a gun. Each allows anyone to kill anyone at the touch of a button. Each confers upon the individual a kind of “magic wand” that can disappear another human being with a mere touch. The pull of a trigger, the swipe of a screen. Guns are like Tinder for death instead of sex.

    If gun rights supporters are committed to their principle, then, they should be willing to state that they would have no problem with the insta-kill app. If they would have a problem with the death app, they should explain what the relevant differences between it and a gun are. Otherwise, each of them should be willing to state flatly that their definition of freedom is: “I should be permitted to carry around a button that allows me to strike you dead whenever I please.” This is the argument that is being made.
    ***

    [head desk]

    1. DOOMco

    2. juris imprudent
    3. Heroic Mulatto

      If gun rights supporters are committed to their principle, then, they should be willing to state that they would have no problem with the insta-kill app

      Actually, I don’t. The observation “an armed society is a polite society” doesn’t change whether those arms are blades, firearms, or kill-apps.

      1. John Titor

        I prefer to have my killing implements require at least some degree of skill.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        When I saw this

        If people could simply kill whomever they pleased from their smartphones at any moment, nobody could ever dare to offend another for fear of inducing them to swipe right.

        that was the immediate quote that came to mind. Great argument in favor of 2A, especially because it was unintentional.

    4. Rhywun

      That guy needs psychiatric help.

    5. Rick C-137

      Ugh.

    6. AlmightyJB

      Is sad that so many lack even the most basic ability to use logic and common sense.

    7. westernsloper

      If gun rights supporters are committed to their principle, then, they should be willing to state that they would have no problem with the insta-kill app. If they would have a problem with the death app, they should explain what the relevant differences between it and a gun are.

      If we are equating a gun to an insta-kill app there chuckles, you can go get one right now just as I can.

    8. EvilSheldon

      I’ve always wondered why progressives want to take the most vulnerable members of society, and make them even more vulnerable to crime and predation.

  17. Derpetologist

    file under: Yankee ingenuity

    ***
    In early 1863, Union naval commander David Dixon Porter resorted to a strange hoax after one of his best ships, the new ironclad USS Indianola, had run aground on the Mississippi River near Vicksburg, Mississippi and was captured by Confederate forces. As the latter were trying to repair the damaged Indianola and refloat her so that her powerful guns could be turned against Porter’s remaining fleet, Porter ordered the construction of a giant dummy ironclad out of barges, barrels and other materials at hand. Fashioned to look like a real warship, even down to logs sticking out of the sides and painted to resemble cannons. The huge craft was painted black to give it a sinister appearance and flying the pirate Jolly Roger flag, was put on the water and floated downstream. It silently sailed in the night past Rebel shore batteries, impervious to their gunfire and not returning their fire at all. News and exaggerated rumours of the mysterious and seemingly indestructable super-ship quickly spread through Vicksburg and reached the Confederate salvage crews working on the Indianola; in a panic, they halted their salvage efforts, instead just blowing up the Indianola and abandoning the wreckage site, thus failing in their mission to salvage and reuse the ship. When the giant dummy ship finally ran aground and was captured and inspected by the Confederates, Southern newspapers got hold of the story and roundly criticized their military and naval authorities for having been unable to tell the difference between a real warship and a fake one.[
    ***

    1. Rick C-137

      That is pretty hilarious.

    2. So, no different from the cops.

      1. Mr Lizard

        Well in all fairness it wasn’t a green Toyota or a dog…

    3. mindyourbusiness

      +1 John Bankhead MacGruder

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe they have always been a mouthpiece for idiotic progressives, and I just never noticed it, but Current Affairs is quite the derp treasure trove, isn’t it?

      1. John Titor

        Robinson is basically becoming the Glibertarian archnemesis.

        1. Gilmore

          no, he’s more of the Derp-mascot. He’s a cornucopia of retarded argument from the modern-champagne-socialist-set.

          if glibs have enemies, its the Robby Soave types who latch onto libertarianism but then use it as a platform to make idiotic arguments which tarnish the entire body of ideas.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Marg bar Robby Soave.

          2. John Titor

            “To be sure, Heroic Mulatto has legitimate reasons to be upset, but attacking his opponents in such an inappropriate way serves to only make his side seem concerning.”

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Guns are like Tinder for death instead of sex.

    Seek professional help, Bub. Do not tarry. Do not pass “Go”, do not collect $200.

    1. Rick C-137

      I would go for a gun matching app. Gunnr

    2. juris imprudent

      He may collect his PhD though.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Not if he keeps wasting his time writing this bullshit as opposed to the bullshit needed for his dissertation.

        1. Rhywun

          You have more faith in academia than I do.

    3. Guns are like Tinder for death instead of sex.

      I have yet to cause death by swiping in any direction on a firearm. I have certainly never had sex as a result of shaping my hand like a pistol and “firing” it at a sexy lady, even if I winked and grinned.

  20. Hyperion

    I think the narrative has a problem.

    Global Warming Hysteria on Life Support

    When you’ve lost the Baltimore Sun…

    1. The Zenome Project

      Charles Campbell (lochawe@verizon.net) is retired senior vice president of Gulf Oil Corporation.

      Cue prog outrage – SPECIAL INTERESTS! OIL SHILL! KKKORPURASHUNS!

  21. Pope Jimbo

    Local kid drowns at a lake that no longer had lifeguards because residents felt they were paying too much.

    Crank writes screed about how horrible it is that people would say “watch your own kid” rather than pay for lifeguards everywhere.

    That 5-year-old kid was mine not by birth or adoption, but by shared life in Minnesota. I ask you and all Minnesotans to realize that the kids of this state need to be important to all of us. We need to put lifeguards in the chairs, teachers in the classrooms, and leaders in the Capitol to keep all of our kids safe and thriving. Minnesotans, this is how we watch our own kids!

    Yes, yes, kids are dying because people are too greedy.

    1. That 5-year-old wasn’t even yours, bitch.

    2. DOOMco

      THE CHULDRUNS

    3. Pope Jimbo

      The comments are delightful.

      Check out the big brain on Kingstad:

      It’s a result of the hedonistic philosophy that suffuses what people unschooled in economics believe reflects free market economics. Which is that ultimately people are really only worth what they can garner is the “free” labor market. Children and old people are really not “worth” anything there. It’s the logical conclusion of the “free market” ethos of the borgeoisie.

      Fuck da free market!

      1. Sweet, so according to Karl, here, the expectation of personal responsibility is a bourgeois capitalist plot? I KNEW IT!!

      2. westernsloper

        That person just described single payer healthcare and they don’t even know it. The free market would see them as future, or current customers.

        1. leonadasiv

          Hell the free market sees them as people with rights, lives and freedom.

    4. MikeS

      So he wants lifeguards at every fucking lake in Minnesota? That’s like..a bunch. Like 7,835? No, 21,470? No I got this…

      1. Apparently it’s a government-run park

        From the Web site:

        “Carver Lake Beach is an unguarded beach – no lifeguard is on duty. Swim at your own risk. Park guests are allowed to swim from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily.

        “Beach Rules

        “Children 6 and under must be accompanied by an adult in the water…”

        1. According to this article, “A neighbor who was watching the child discovered he was gone,” and if this is true (though I don’t rely on the media), then it doesn’t seem like compliance with park rules.

        2. MikeS

          But there were common sense swimming regulations in place! How could this have happened?

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Not enough funding.

        3. Pope Jimbo

          The beach near my house has some rules posted that say anyone under 16 is supposed to be accompanied by an adult. We were talking about how stupid that rule was. When I was a kid, I would ride my bike a mile down a busy highway from our farm to the local lake all on my own. I’d spend the whole day there swimming and goofing with the other kids there.

          I can only imagine what my mother would have said if you suggested to her, that she was supposed to be there too to keep an eye on me.

          Growing up, any beach that had those buoys to denote a swimming area were for pussies and tourists (but I repeat myself). The only exception was for a diving tower at the city beach. You could go there without losing your street cred.

          1. This was 6, not 16 – and I doubt the town’s liability insurance carrier would have let them have any rule more lenient.

          2. In fact, even with those posted rules, I suspect they’re on the phone to their lawyers now.

    5. The Elite Elite

      That (Trump) for years personally avoided pay a cent in federal income taxes

      Really, you have any evidence for that? Last I heard when Rachel Maddow got her/his/its hands on Trump’s taxes, it was a big nothingburger. God all the comments are so awful.

      Christians know that Christ created us to be in communion with each other. You are your brother’s keeper.

      And you are your brother’s keeper through government. Not your own personal actions. /facepalm

    6. straffinrun

      If everybody claims dibs on a kid, he’s going to be drawn and quartered.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    If Current Affairs has only been around since 2015, I wonder what other publication I’m thinking of. Did he bring the name back from the grave>

    1. Current Events?

    2. Rick C-137

      Foreign Affairs?

    3. MikeS

      Foreign Events?

    4. Rhywun

      Current- aw rats.

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      Foreign Events?

      Current Policy?

      The Current?

      The Foreigner? What happened to Lou Gramm was an awesome piece.

      Okay. Enough of that.

      Is it me, or has Foreign Policy has gotten progressively cheapish?

      1. Gilmore

        has Foreign Policy has gotten progressively cheapish?

        Foreign Policy (not to be confused with the far more snobby Foreign Affairs) was bought by the Washington Post company in like 2012….

        ….at which point they hired someone to redesign their website, and in the process made it entirely unreadable.

        re: “Cheapish” – at the time they also cut substantially back on the direct-funded content (basically they poached a few of the more-prolific ones like Dan Drezner and moved him to the WaPo proper) and left the magazine to be mostly a mix of “random stuff submitted for free by FP academics and activists”. They retained a few people as ‘flagship authors’ but 90% of the content is basically user-submitted.

        I used to be a regular daily reader between like 2004 and 2012, but they went completely to shit.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Also used to read it a far amount. And the print edition too. That’s how I found Hit and Run, even though I had been a print reason subscriber back in the Postrel era. Someone mentioned it in a back of the issue profile.

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          Ah.

          It used to be a really good thoughtful read and then I started to detect some serious derp.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    I must have been thinking of Foreign Affairs.

    You seen one affair, you seen ’em all.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    That 5-year-old kid was mine not by birth or adoption, but by shared life in Minnesota.

    It takes a village idiot…

    1. Pope Jimbo

      I hope that argument wins out here in Minnesoda. That way I can go claim my share of any lottery winnings by my fellow Minnesodans. After all we are all sharing life here, right?

    1. straffinrun

      That kid has no in group preference. I predict a short life.

  25. Heroic Mulatto


    乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚

    1. What is this, Japanese self-wedgie porn?

      1. The Elite Elite

        It’s his newest fetish.

    2. DOOMco

      GIF CITY

    3. westernsloper

      I’m having a hard time not staring at that.

    1. Rhywun

      Good. Now, America, fucking do something about it.

      1. Maybe the leftists can come aboard the reform train now that Trump is pushing for more forfeiture.

        1. Rhywun

          “But *I* don’t haul drugs around, it’s not going to affect *me*.”

      2. straffinrun

        No kidding. Problem is that are people really against taking another’s property without permission? They’re using the money for “good”, right?

    2. The Zenome Project

      Look at all of the sites posting about civil forfeiture: none of them are mainstream sources. Until the issue becomes mainstream, no one next door to you will give two shits about it.

      1. New York Post? Forbes? Huffington Post? Slate?

        1. LA Times? The Atlantic? National Review?

          1. The Zenome Project

            When I say mainstream, I imply front-page headlines and network news. The sites that you’ve mentioned are either newspapers or websites with more of a niche audience.

        2. The Zenome Project

          I don’t really count Slate as “mainstream”, and the HuffPo article is probably flooded under a sea of Trump-Russia hysteria. Forfeiture is the kind of topic that academically or politically active types will line up against, but with no real opposition from the Average Joe until some major scandal comes from it.

          1. The part where I agree with you is the differential levels of commitment from the pro-forfeiture and the anti-forfeiture sides.

            The anti-forfeiture people are concerned enough to write against it and say Something Should Be Done.

            The pro-forfeiture people, whose bread and butter is threatened, will be moving heaven and earth to keep these policies in place.

            Entrenched interest group that wants to keep its snout in the trough versus people who kind of care about getting the interest group’s snout out of the trough…we can guess which side is going to work harder for its preferred policy outcome.

          2. Rhywun

            You can make the same argument about many of the Left’s policies – they’ve been playing this game for a looooong time.

  26. “‘“This new mayor, who we had hoped would break with the traditions of the past, has stated he doesn’t think that the statues should come down. … And that is out of step with what is happening throughout the South, and it’s an embarrassment, frankly,’ said Phil Wilayto, a community organizer and one of the plan’s most outspoken opponents.

    1. Chipwooder

      I don’t know how Phil Wilyato manages to get his commie was in news stories constantly. He has no actual constituency or movement. Just a loud Marxist shitbag. The mayor, who is black, isn’t trying to bring the statues down. Henry Marsh, the local icon of the civil rights movement of the ’50s and ’60s, doesn’t want to take them down. A wide variety of prominent black leaders in Richmond say the same thing. It’s only aging white Marxist Phil fucking Wilyato and his handful of trustafarians.

  27. MikeS

    Researchers sample ND coal for rare elements

    Rare earth elements include valuable materials, including europium, holmium and scandium, and are used in a multitude of modern technology — magnets, hard drives, batteries and lasers — with about 90 percent of the world’s supply controlled by China. This foreign dependence is driving industry to look closer to home.

    It has helped that North Dakota Department of Mineral Resources geologists…already knew where to look as a result of their experiences from previous projects. The researchers sampled the region where uranium mining historically took place, mostly in the 1950s and ’60s, in western North Dakota.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      STOP FUCKING UP MY BIRD HUNTING NoDAKS!

      Sheesh, it was finally getting back to normal to hunt in the Teddy Roosevelt grasslands and now you are going to start mining other shit?

      1. MikeS

        Well, we broke the strangle hold the mid-east had on us over oil. Now we’re going after China and it’s rare earth element strangle hold. We’re like a super hero. You’re welcome.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Could you at least mine out near Devil’s Lake or Grafton? I never go to that part of the state.

          I want the prices of things around Beach, Williston, Medora and New Town to go back to pre-boom levels (and they were on the way down last year). I also want the road traffic to die way down so that the sharpies and mule deer bounce back. (I think the populations might be the same, but with lots of traffic they stay back in the badlands and are tough to hunt)

          1. MikeS

            You should go to the Grafton area…I’d buy you a beer.

            I think things are returning to near-normal out west. The exploration phase has cooled off quite a it. Now it seems like most companies are settling down into working on making their current wells more efficient.

  28. Pope Jimbo

    Oh, oh. You guys better back off the Somali bashing.

    Local city council member says that it is unfair for a whole community to be tarred by the actions of a rogue cop.

    “What we’re seeing is a lot of rhetoric in the media where this is a Somali issue, where this person is a Somali officer,” Warsame said. “That’s very dangerous, because you’re seeing an action of an individual, a member of the Police Department, being given to the whole community. That’s unacceptable.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        That sign shows a cop with a black face! OMG, how racist can you be!!!!!

        I’m just laughing because this whole thing has completely wrong-footed so many narratives that no none seems to know what to do.

        If it had been a white cop, everyone knows that the problem is that all white people are racists who want to shoot people. But a black Somali cop who was fast tracked into the force? We need a team of academics to unravel this bird’s nest of an intersectional snarl.

        1. straffinrun

          Or…mutters something about state power….Yeah, let’s force it into the intersectional theory instead.

    1. Rhywun

      Cite something other than Facebook or fuck off, asshole.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Who is Mark Steyn, chopped liver cat food?

    2. whiz

      Progessives try to make everything about race, and then complain when someone allegedly makes something about race.

  29. The Elite Elite

    Alright, here’s a little something to lighten the mood after all the derp above.

    1. straffinrun

      Oh God, Oh Man X5. Literal lol at that.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      I remember our Jr. High shop class being turned into a shuriken factory by the early ’80s ninja movies. The very start of the VCR revolution in my neck of the prairie and one of the rental places had a shit ton of bad martial arts movies that we were all into.

      1. Gilmore

        When i was a kid there was a store down the street that sold black-light posters, nunchucks, bongs, motorhead/metallica/harley davidson Black T shirts, and throwing-stars + butterfly knives.

        I remember 10 year old me thinking, “Man, this is pretty much everything anyone could ever want“.

    3. Gilmore

      Sigh ….. So many great films i’ve never seen.

      a thought – the difference between terrible acting and “superstar talent” is often really just that the directors of superstars have enough money to keep shooting until the otherwise-mediocre actor gets something ‘not terrible’ in the can.

      and a lot of terrible performances are actually saved by smart editors, who cut to ‘reaction shots’ when the actor giving the dialogue just seems to be reading it off a card… and vice versa – cutting out reaction shots that are completely mistimed.

      I thought the Samurai Cop guy (the one with the Bon Jovi hair) had a pretty natural screen presence. His partner (murtaugh to his riggs), not so much. I mean, it was epic retarded, but you could see this tiny glimmer of ‘character’ through the derp.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    There’s no principled distinction between a gun and a magic death-button.
    by Nathan J. Robinson

    Okay, I read the whole thing. He should be tried for for Crimes Against Gaia for releasing all that carbon by burning those poor helpless strawmen.

    1. robc

      apparently Im using my gun wrong.

  31. OK, I’ll throw you guys a bone

    “Atheists, agnostics most knowledgeable about religion, survey says….

    “A majority of Protestants, for instance, couldn’t identify Martin Luther as the driving force behind the Protestant Reformation, according to the survey, released Tuesday by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life. Four in 10 Catholics misunderstood the meaning of their church’s central ritual, incorrectly saying that the bread and wine used in Holy Communion are intended to merely symbolize the body and blood of Christ, not actually become them.

    “Atheists and agnostics — those who believe there is no God or who aren’t sure — were more likely to answer the survey’s questions correctly. Jews and Mormons ranked just below them in the survey’s measurement of religious knowledge — so close as to be statistically tied.

    “So why would an atheist know more about religion than a Christian?

    “American atheists and agnostics tend to be people who grew up in a religious tradition and consciously gave it up, often after a great deal of reflection and study, said Alan Cooperman, associate director for research at the Pew Forum.

    “”These are people who thought a lot about religion,” he said. “They’re not indifferent. They care about it.””

    1. The Elite Elite

      I don’t doubt that a lot of Christians are sadly ignorant on basics like those. However, I’d be curious how many of these Christians surveyed are actually Christians. How many of them are the kind of people who say “I’m American, of course I’m a Christian” or “I’m Mexican-American, of course I’m Catholic,” yet never read the Bible or set foot in Church other than on holidays.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        True story. Back in the Middle-Ages when Christendom was what bound civilization and not the nation-state, Europeans didn’t self-idnetfiy along national lines but strictly as Christians. So if you walked up to a German and said, ‘Yo, you German brah?’ his likely response would have been, ‘Wha? Huh? I’m Christian!’

    2. Hey, this is from 2010! How did I miss that?

      1. The Elite Elite

        The same way you missed that you Catholics believe the bread and wine become Jesus’s body and blood?

        1. What?

          The survey found Catholic respondents who were unaware of that teaching.

          1. The Elite Elite

            I was making a joke. Guess it didn’t land.

          2. I try to throw the atheists some raw meat, and this is what I get.

          3. The Elite Elite

            I’m not even an atheist.

          4. straffinrun

            That’ll be five Hail Mary’s and two Hail STEVE SMITH’S.

          5. Fine, it’s back to Richard Dawkins and intersectional atheism for you ingrates.

          6. John Titor

            STEVE SMITH doesn’t answer or require prayers, he’s more of a virgin sacrifice and wrathful deity type.

          7. Sorry about that.

          8. John Titor

            I’m constantly impressed at how this province manages to have publicly funded Catholic schools and yet their products still seem to have no idea who Thomas Aquinas was.

    1. Relaxing in his Eagle’s Nest?

    2. quincy

      That plant should vape.

        1. straffinrun

          Knew of ShoeOnHead. First I’ve seen of that guy, though.

          1. John Titor

            I was more talking about Shoe0nHead and Lauren Southern than that guy.

          2. straffinrun

            Kind of weird that I focused on the dude when there are two hotties around. Did I just come out?

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Considering that I was waiting for the 2 chicks to kiss…

            Yes.

          4. straffinrun

            I’ll accept it. Can we have a coming out party with chicks and blow?

          5. MikeS

            What type of “blow” did you have in mind?

  32. quincy

    I actually had a Venus Flytrap as a childhood pet. We tried feeding it kibble. It didn’t work.

    1. straffinrun

      While KPFA emphatically supports serious free speech, we do not support abusive speech.

      “Emphatically”.

      1. MikeS

        To be sure, abusive speech can’t be equated with free speech

    2. Rhywun

      To be fair, he’s talking about Berkeley.

      1. That’s like the England of America, as far as free speech is concerned.

        1. Rhywun

          Agreed.

      1. Rhywun

        LOL

        I had no idea he was married to Romana II.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          What? The fact that Dawkins was able to scoop her up is one of the central arguements that there is no God.

    3. Haybob

      Dawkins is a great science writer but his militant atheism drives me crazy.

      1. Holger-da-Dane

        He also looks like a super villain.

    4. Haybob

      Notice no mention from the group of the “mean” things he’s said about Christianity

  33. MikeS

    Man Arrested After Setting Off Fireworks in a Bar

    “It doesn’t give a person any sense of security knowing there may be individuals out there who maybe are willingly detonating these devices,” said Sgt. Simon.

    Sergent Simon sounds like he has a bright future in politics. He has a firm grasp on scare tactics.

  34. Hyperion

    Outlaws of course, day one.

    ELEX Outlaws

    1. straffinrun

      Waiting for McAfee.

  35. Rhywun

    Wow – congrats Jamaica!

    (Euro-ball)

    1. DOOMco

      ‘euro-ball’ made me laugh

      1. Rhywun

        It’s now USA v Jamaica for the final. Much preferable to USA v Mexico.

  36. straffinrun

    A “progressive,” anti-intellectual educational system that, from kindergarten to graduate school, creates students who can’t read or write — students brainwashed into the feeling that their minds are helpless and they must adapt to “society,” that there is no absolute truth and that morality is whatever society says it is.

    Tell half your students that their opinions come from some invisible and undetectable spring of bigotry tapped into by their ancestors and the other half that they fail because of those same bigoted ancestors and the system they created. That’s a great way to equalize the outcome and produce students that can’t read or write. “I can’t read or write because everything I write is bigoted.” “I can’t read or write because of those bigots.”

    1. straffinrun

      Oops, wrong thread.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        It bore repeating.

  37. The Zenome Project

    After a little bit of casual sleuthing, I found out that Mr. Impeachment himself, Brad Sherman, should be a Trump supporter.

  38. CPRM

    Usually I watch Game of Thrones by other means, but this weekend was free preview weekend on my dish, so I just DVR’d it, but when it went back to live after watching the show, there was this thing called ‘Insecure’ on. Man, I’ve delved deep into the derp before both here and on HNR, but I kind of sat mesmerized for like 15 minutes trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.