I am very, very disappointed with many of you.

I’ve been doing my part. And there are a few of you about which I can say the same. But, obviously, many of you are falling down on the job here. And I think you know who you are.

http://familyfriendly.site/review/glibertarians.com

 

Comments

353 responses to “I am very, very disappointed with many of you.”

  1. The Other Kevin

    Who’s providing this rating? I want to know so I don’t rely on them when it’s time to lock down my kids’ iPods.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      http://familyfriendly.site/review/glibertarians.com

      And I’m very family-friendly, especially to the kids.

      1. mindyourbusiness

        He’s the friendly stranger in the black sedan…

    2. Pomp

      Obviously the robot in charge at familyfriendly is a bigtime fan of Manly Monday.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Thicc Thursday has many pleasing mamas.

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      Agree. Can’t trust these clowns to determine what’s appropriate, that’s for sure.

    4. Gadfly

      It looks like it’s an aggregate site that uses data from Norton plus McAfee to determine if the site hosts malware and Google SafeSearch plus Web of Trust to determine appropriateness of content for minors. Web of Trust hasn’t rated Glibertarians, so that family friendly rating is essentially being based entirely on Google SafeSearch.

  2. Jefe Hayek

    cunt titty

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      No thanks, I just ate lunch.

  3. SDF-7

    Well, they didn’t say whose family, after all.

    1. Pomp

      ::golf clap::

    2. Waterfall Insurance

      Women and children near Roman Polanski hit hardest.

  4. The Other Kevin

    The Hat and Hair is a good start, but for a libertarian site we’re really low on articles about butt sex, drugs, and prostitution.

    1. Hammercorps

      We’re not promoting HM’s fetishes enough apparently.

      1. peachy rex

        Or his fetishes are too tame.

        1. Holger-da-Dane

          yeah, it’s all glitter and leopard print blindfolds.

    2. Libertarians only have to be OK with other people having butt-sex; they don’t actually have to do it themselves.

  5. I, for one, am fucking disappointed.

    1. Mr.Bates

      How’s he taking it?

      1. Rasilio

        He’s good, just thanking the gods that it wasn’t Warty or Steve Smith

  6. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Golly gee, it looks like he comments need more cursing.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      the comments goddamnit

  7. Bob

    This is why analmexicanpot.com should have been the site name.

    1. Hammercorps

      It’s because we put fun in the description, isn’t it?

    2. Brett L

      Great now I want to create something called the Analm Exican Pot and sell it on Etsy just to fuck with people.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Pottery, finger-painted in shades of brown?

        1. Holger-da-Dane

          Tea-time is also nightmare-time. Who knew?

  8. Rufus the Monocled

    Are these recent comments “family friendly”?

    -Light conversation that quickly turns for the worse for no reason other than because immature. Goes something along the lines of ‘What are we gonna do about the bacon bits?’ and I respond, ‘I don’t know but I do know someone in the world is sprinkling some on their pussy and letting the cat lick it off’.

    -Kid crying in book store. Mutters, ‘Shut up kid. I’ll show you something to cry about” /makes unzipping sound.

    ******

    Family friendly?

    That’s what she said?

    1. Brett L

      -Kid crying in book store. Mutters, ‘Shut up kid. I’ll show you something to cry about” /makes unzipping sound.

      I’m pretty sure this is OMWC’s 2nd favorite approach.

    2. Lachowsky

      Little boy Blue,
      Because he needed the money.

    3. bacon-magic

      I have some bacon bits you can suck on Rufus, eh!

  9. mexican sharpshooter

    How is this possible?

    1. Whoa! Looking sharp, there!

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Really? From a costume I wore for a Halloween party. I went as Johnny Depp, everyone thought I looked creepy.

        1. To be fair, Depp is creepy.

        2. commodious spittoon

          Johnny Depp is creepy.

        3. mexican sharpshooter

          I was probably going to change it back, since that actually is a picture of me, but since the creepiness might deduct from our family friendly rating I might just leave it.

          1. Highly encourage!

            (And you don’t look nearly as creepy as Depp, which is high praise)

          2. bacon-magic

            Nothing creepy about that except the ‘stache. Keep that too.

  10. Lol… Just so much lol.

    Bring your kids! (But don’t, really)

    1. Brett L

      I’m already trying to figure out how to explain to my sons when they are teenagers what the fuck this site is/was.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Parents who grow bushy mustaches have children who do drugs.

          1. thrakkorzog

            It is one of the many things he did to fit in on the porn set.

      1. I told my folks and sister about this site. Not sure how often they read, if at all, but I feel it explains itself pretty well…

        1. Hammercorps

          Well, I suppose that’s one way to get out of the family reunions….

          1. commodious spittoon

            “Couldn’t you have just told us you’re a gay bottom and you’re living a lie?”

          2. Lol. My dad and I argue politics all the time. My mom sometimes gets uncomfortable and leaves the room.

            Weekend visits are a real good time, honestly. Lots of drinking, smoking, and laughing.

        2. xenophon

          I have told no one. The last time I recommended a site to someone — “this really great, insightful, smart, fun community that calls itself Reddit” — I lived to regret the introduction.

      2. DOOMco

        We need a bunch of words and phrases explained at the beginning. cosmo, yokel, FYTW, FYCS, TDS.
        Then try to explain TOS, then the split?

        1. Brett L

          Totality of the circs, things were done.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            STEVE SMITH, Anal Venneman, Morgan Fairchild, DODEROOOO, trolls, 2Chili, disappointed Virginia Postrel, Lou Reed,

            We didn’t start the memes. They were already there. Floating in the air. We didn’t start the memes.

          2. robc

            Is that a really bad Billy Joel B-side?

        2. Somalian Road Corporation

          TDS is mainstream. So mainstream it should probably be in the DSM.

    2. SP

      One of my kids is here. What kind of mother does that make me?

      1. Rick C-137

        The best type?

        1. SP

          For your loyalty and defense of SP, you have earned one:
          get out

          1. DOOMco

            oh my gosh!

          2. Pomp

            Does that mean Rick C-137 is free to moan like a petulant douche about sportsball content?

          3. Rick C-137

            Sweet! Saving for later use. 🙂
            (Nefarious laughter recedes into the night)

        1. SP

          For your loyalty and defense of SP, you have earned one:
          get out

          1. So, the get out of cat butt free card has a cat butt on it anyway?

          2. bacon-magic

            It’s on a fat cat and it’s wittle to appear cute…

          3. SP

            Not the horrible photographic kind that other Founders use on the damned.

          4. MikeS

            Nice! See you assholes, this is what happens when you are nice to people. It earns you points that you can trade in for being terrible to people in the future. Thanks SP!

          5. Tundra

            Kiss-ass.

          6. MikeS

            😉

          7. bacon-magic

            *drops gloves and applauds*

          8. It’s easier to just not go off the rails.

            That way I wan wander around the comments muttering like the disgruntled public employee I am.

          9. SP

            Wait. You don’t work for the postal service, do you?

          10. State. Of. New. York.

          11. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound terse, I realized that was a joke too late 🙁

          12. MikeS

            Oooh, now you’re not so smug about a “Get out of cat butt free” card, are you?

          13. If sanctioned, I will laugh it off and move of, the manic cackle fading back to grumbling.

        2. bacon-magic

          Ooooh I probably need one of them since I’ve been catbutted already.

          1. SP

            Unlike love, this has to be earned.

            Or purchased from a current holder. *wonders if anyone noticed the “may be sold” bit*

          2. Bobarian LMD

            May be purchased or sold… so it’s just like love!

          3. MikeS

            Absolutely. I’m putting the finishing touches on my eBay auction as we speak.

  11. Pomp

    lol dongs

  12. F. Stupidity Jr.

    Butt-shit-fart-hell-cunt!

    Just doing my part.

    1. Mr.Bates

      peepees & heinies

  13. libertarianjoe

    That’s fucked

  14. DOOMco

    Well the home page says no NSFW posts, so…

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Which is regularly ignored.

      1. Unreconstructed

        Pretty sure it says no NSFW images.

  15. JW

    NEEDS MOAR PELOSI QUEEF HABOOB!

    I blame myself. And Warty.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Mutton flaps.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Don’t blame me. You’re the ones who said, “No NSFW.”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      NSFL was not forbidden

  17. The Late P Brooks

    No thanks, I just ate lunch.

    What are you, some fag commie? There’s always room for Jello cunt titty.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    “Okay, we’ll take the Chinks and the niggers. But we don’t want the Irish!”

    1. Well fuck you too

      /at least 11.5% Irish

      1. MikeS

        Shut up you fucking potato-eating mick

        1. Rick C-137

          Tha fuck ya say to ‘im ya kraut, whoreson?

          1. MikeS

            Dad?!

          2. Rick C-137

            Ya mum was too blown out for me, but i hear SF likes em weird.

        2. DOOMco

          *looks up from glass of whiskey breakfast*

          1. Rick C-137

            breakfast of champions!

            (Starts singing Black and Tans)

          1. MikeS

            Hmm, never heard of that. They sound very good. I’ll have to try that sometime.

          2. Rick C-137

            That does sound delicious

          3. DOOMco

            I’d eat that.

          4. bacon-magic

            You found something with only 3 ingredients(sounds bland) but looks extremely tasty. Well done sir.

          5. SP

            Indeed, they are delicious. /FingerLakesChildhood

  19. So, they didn’t read the site?

    1. DOOMco

      The bottom said if you don’t agree, you can tell them and they’ll do a full audit.

      1. You think I read the site?

        1. DOOMco

          no…

    2. Hammercorps

      I always knew SugarFree’s stories would be a boon to the children someday.

  20. Drake

    That is the most perfect picture of a bullet-head I’ve ever seen. His hairstyle should be called “the wadcutter”.

    1. Pomp

      lol wad

  21. R C Dean

    Tundra may have just proposed a new site motto in the morning links:

    “Man, I wish I hadn’t clicked that.”

    What say you?

    1. I say nay to official mottos.

      1. Tundra

        WHO ASKED YOU?!?

        1. Mad Scientist

          I nominate this as the new motto, with a small addition: “WHO ASKED YOU, ASSHOLE?!?”

          1. Rick C-137

            I second.

            Now we must summon a quorum of glibs to vote.

            Quickly, light the Glib Signal!

          2. Fuck off, Slaver!

            Don’t tell me what to do.

          3. Rick C-137

            It a quorum UnCiv and you have not been recognized by the chair.

          4. Good, I hate “smart” furnature.

          5. Rick C-137

            -1 IoT

          6. thrakkorzog

            I was thinking we should get a pretentious Latin motto, just to prove that we shit class out of every orifice.

            So I plugged “Fuck off slavers,” into google translate and got “Pedicabo servitutem” as a result. So I translated it back into English, and it came back as “Bugger service.”

            So we probably need one of them smart classical history reading motherfuckers to translate that one. I find it hard to believe that Latin didn’t have a word for slavers.

          7. compgrokker

            o I translated it back into English, and it came back as “Bugger service.”

            That might still work. Or we’d be making promises we can’t keep.

          8. Rick C-137

            I concur on the snotty slogan as well.

            Here’s Who asked you asshole as latin

            Quis te, culus,

            which reverse translate into

            Who are you, anus?

          9. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Isn’t “Bugger Service” OMWC’s motto?

          10. thrakkorzog

            Well, there’s also a slight concern that some priests might try to sue us for false advertising if we went with that slogan.

          11. Gadfly

            So I translated it back into English, and it came back as “Bugger service.”

            I think Google is bowdlerizing the Latin. For example, plug the first line of this famous poem into Google translate and notice how much tamer the result is than the translation given on Wikipedia.

          12. Trials and Trippelations

            I had to get beer first.
            Reporting voluntarily for duty

          13. Trigger Hippie

            “Dovie’andi se tovya (((sagain)))! ”

            Wait, that may work better at Stormfront.

    2. Mr.Bates

      Where’s the unclick button?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    NSFL was not forbidden

    Not Safe For Lunch? Libertarians? Louts? Loafers? Lollygaggers?

    1. R C Dean

      Ladies?

      1. compgrokker

        Misogyny! Fucking cishet shitlord… 😉

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Lighthearted, of course

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      Lemmings. Not Safe for Lemmings.

    4. MikeS

      Lolitas?

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Wait, it’s perfectly safe for Lolitas. Perfectly safe. Yes. It is. Very, very safe.

        1. pro-tip: Don’t search for Lolita on various pron sites. Though it does make great 4chan-ish lols getting other people to do that search.

    5. Lachowsky

      Laundrymats.

    6. Rick C-137

      Leftists?

    7. thrakkorzog

      Lola? Because I think most of us think Ok with Drinking champagne in bars.

    8. Tundra

      Labia.

      (Just doing my part)

    9. compgrokker

      Ladybugs?

    10. Mad Scientist

      Laurentia?

    11. Trials and Trippelations

      Leprachauns?

  23. But Enough About Me

    It’s the Canadian contingent. We’re all too goddamned fucking nice and polite to you steaming pile of raging assholes.

    You faux Democrats!

    1. Hammercorps

      *Crosses arms, waits for John Titor and his tentacle porn to arrive.*

      1. Rick C-137

        Titor never left

        1. Hey, we used a handful of perforated bricks when we walled him in, he’s probably still alive.

          1. Rick C-137

            +1 cask of amontillado

          2. Bobarian LMD

            The holes are there so you can fill it up with water.

          3. Rick C-137

            I like the cut of you jib, glib!

      2. John Titor

        It’s called art you Philistine. Kurt Eichenwald is the only one who understands me…

        What this ‘family friendly’ status tells me is I need to quit posting tentacle porn and start posting the new bizarre things that people make out of their genitals on BodyMod.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      We bring good, wholesome, old fashioned fucken family entertainment.

      /hurls dildo like tomahawk at wall with poster of vagina bullseye.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Tsk, tsk. So I missek’d.

  24. Rick C-137

    I…Dafuq. I tell my friends about this place, but for some reason they never bring it up. I figure that if one can survive a day here, esp. a hat&hair day, then they have found their home

    1. Hammercorps

      Your friends haven’t sacrificed enough of their decency and humanity at the altar of Nyarlathotep yet.

      1. Huh, I always sacrificed someone else.

        1. Hammercorps

          That comes after about 5 episodes of The Hat and the Hair.

      2. Rick C-137

        I would like to think that they have busy lives and I have not communicated the distilled but NSFL nature of this place fully. Or they are unwashed barbarians frightened by our Promethean light

        1. Bobarian LMD

          That, and being chained to a rock and having your guts eaten out by eagles every day.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      because they refuse to have any further communication with you after viewing the site.

      1. Rick C-137

        They keep talking to me, but the light has gone out their eyes.

        1. But Enough About Me

          +1 Thousand-yard stare

  25. Gilmore

    Thicc is technically PG-13

    1. ArchieBunker

      There is a way to fix that

  26. Bob

    So somehow my TV ended up on Viceland, a channel that from what I can tell is courting young woke people. Their commercials are primarily advertisements for their own channel of young idiots complaint about whitey and declaring that whatever pointless thing they are doing has meaning in the wokosphere.

    I recommend checking it out if only to see how stupid it is.

    1. Rick C-137

      Hey now,
      ‘Fuck, that’s delicious’ is awesome, as is Beerland and Bong Appetite

      1. The Zenome Project

        I concur with Fuck, That’s Delicious, that’s a show worth watching. Actually, anything in the Munchies category is good.

        1. Rick C-137

          I forgot to mention the pizza show, and king of the road, for some old school skateboarding hijinks

    2. Rick C-137

      TBF, the rest of the programming is trash, and I flip channels when they start

    3. The Zenome Project

      If you research earlier articles from them, Vice used to be very good and relatively libertarian-ish back when Gavin McInnes was running things. As he slowly got purged out, however, it turned more and more into a prog echo chamber with weed. This is basically what Vice is today.

      1. Rick C-137

        The mag is basically cancer, the site is similar, the channel is decent so long as it avoids politics

    4. bacon-magic

      I missed GOT and the repeat @ 10:30 had an infomercial tease for vice. L.O.L. “Bill Maher Productions” said all I needed to know.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Chuck Schumer’s gonna git hisself a midget with a broom

    Today’s working Americans and the young are justified in having greater doubts about the future than any generation since the Depression. Americans believe they’re getting a raw deal from both the economic and political systems in our country. And they are right. The wealthiest special interests can spend an unlimited, undisclosed amount of money to influence elections and protect their special deals in Washington. As a result, our system favors short-term gains for shareholders instead of long-term benefits for workers.

    And for far too long, government has gone along, tilting the economic playing field in favor of the wealthy and powerful while putting new burdens on the backs of hard-working Americans.

    Democrats have too often hesitated from taking on those misguided policies directly and unflinchingly — so much so that many Americans don’t know what we stand for. Not after today. Democrats will show the country that we’re the party on the side of working people — and that we stand for three simple things.

    “We fo’ da little man, y’all.”

    How does Chuck Fucking Schumer not burst into flames when he derides “special influence”?

    1. He’s made of New York Sludge – more fire-retardant than Asbestos, and ten times as carcinogenic.

    2. ArchieBunker

      Just realized in their scenario someone has to get screwed. Either we screw the rich to help the poor or we screw tbe poor to help the rich. Cant do anything that might benefit both.

    3. Pomp

      Hey Chucky Moobs, you jerkoff. Hi, yes you. $20T federal debt. Fuck you, cut spending.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    the wokosphere.

    nice

  29. Ken Shultz

    You wanna talk about disappointment?

    Clicking in, I was hoping this thread was gonna be about our disappointment in Rand Paul.

    *sad walk*

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ndB74DVpAk

    1. Pomp

      Where there’s a yin, there must be a yang.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Democrats have too often hesitated from taking on those misguided policies directly and unflinchingly — so much so that many Americans don’t know what we stand for. Not after today. Democrats will show the country that we’re the party on the side of working people — and that we stand for three simple things.

    First, we’re going to increase people’s pay. Second, we’re going to reduce their everyday expenses. And third, we’re going to provide workers with the tools they need for the 21st-century economy.

    CHAVISTACRATS.

    It’s got a nice ring to it.

    1. Rick C-137

      +1 dictatorship of the proles
      – a fuckton of food and TP

    2. The Zenome Project

      Third, we’re going to provide workers with the tools they need for the 21st-century economy.

      SPOONS for everyone!

    3. WTF

      Second, we’re going to reduce their everyday expenses.
      How, exactly? Price controls? Because that’s always ended well.

      1. Rationing – you’re not permitted to buy as much as you used to – thus reducing your expenses!

        1. WTF

          That’s so crazy, it just might work!!

    1. Drake

      Is there another type?

      1. Yes.

        The meddlesome state worker.

        Trust me, you’d rather have the lazy.

      2. thrakkorzog

        Easily startled cops.

        1. Drake

          Startled out of a lazy daydream! After they fix the problem, it’s right into a paid vacation.

  31. What exactly does a site have to do to be rated badly…actually I don’t want to know.

    1. Rick C-137

      Be porn?

      1. Then they should say “glibertarians.com is a non-porn site.”

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Hmmph…

          /Pulls up pants

          1. Rick C-137

            Rule 34 exists for a reason…

  32. ArchieBunker

    They list momsclevelandsteamervids.com as family friendly too im sure

    1. Rick C-137

      Not clicking, but sending to associates I don’t like

    2. You mom’s collection of vintage steamer trunks? /crazy eyes

      1. compgrokker

        Made right here in Cleveland, in the US of A!!!11!eleventy!1one

        1. So they will consistantly let you down?

  33. The Late P Brooks

    More of Schumer’s idiotic mishmash of talking points and buzzwords:

    Right now millions of unemployed or underemployed people, particularly those without a college degree, could be brought back into the labor force or retrained to secure full-time, higher-paying work. We propose giving employers, particularly small businesses, a large tax credit to train workers for unfilled jobs. This will have particular resonance in smaller cities and rural areas, which have experienced an exodus of young people who aren’t trained for the jobs in those areas.

    In the coming months, we’ll offer additional ideas, from rebuilding rural America to fundamentally changing our trade laws to benefit workers, not multinational corporations.

    “We’re going to make America a better place. Honest.”

    1. So, he wants to “Make America Great Again”?

      1. Rick C-137

        “Moob man Chuck Schumer is like his failed cousin, always stealing someone betters work. SAD!” is how Trump should respond

    2. MikeS

      To: Chuck “I’m Amy’s Cousin!” Schumer
      From: Rural America

      We don’t need any “re-building.” Keep your fucking New York “ideals” the hell away from us.

      1. bacon-magic

        Lyin’ Ted is that you?

        1. bacon-magic

          I admit in the 2016 election/shitshow Ted was runner up to Rand for my choice.

          1. Pomp

            Eeew, but he looks so slimy and untrustworthy. His appearance gives me the creeps. /totally not prejudiced prog

    3. Bobarian LMD

      Blue “MABPH” hats?

      SF writing ‘Hat & Mansierre’ biographies?

  34. This is from 2015 – admittedly it’s from CNN so it may be totally fake.

    But it says Wall Street got giddy with anticipation when Sen. Schumer was reported to be headed for a promotion.

    1. The Zenome Project

      Democrats may delude themselves into thinking that they’re populists, but they’re really cronyists at heart. That’s why Wall Street and Silicon Valley loves the left.

      1. Based on what they accuse the Republicans of doing, and knowing what we know about their projection, I suspect their plan is to keep the base riled up over the culture war while taking contributions from crony capitalists.

        1. The Zenome Project

          During the general I thought that Trump’s populism was totally fake and that he would be this super-cronyist in power, but based on how establishment business leaders and politicians are reacting to him, it seems like that populism was far more authentic than I gave it credit for. There’s been some small-scale kickbacks here and there, like that stupid Carrier deal before he was inaugurated, but nothing close to the Wall Street-Hillary relationship.

    2. JaimeRoberto

      I looked up political contributions from the execs at my Silicon Valley company, and Schumer got a remarkable number of contributions, especially considering that we are 3000 miles from NY. I wonder what committee he is on that gives him so much pull here.

      1. You see…some capitalists are enlightened! They want a happy, educated workforce! They want Schumer to save capitalism from itself like FRD did!

        /sarc

      2. Bob

        The democrats understand the scheme of “pay us protection money or we will be forced to destroy your business to protect the people.

    1. The NHS and the judges need to be imprisoned for depraved indifference murder.

    2. Rick C-137

      There truly, I think, is not a strong enough curse for that fuckery. This is wide open child murder. It really makes my chest tight with anger. I don’t have kids, and I can’t imagine being a parent reading that story, much less living it.

      1. The Zenome Project

        What really bothers me about this case is that the family had the means to take the necessary risk (over a million in fundraising), and the NHS responded to them with a show of control and a power grab. If that isn’t evil, I don’t know what it is.

        1. Charlie had to die or his story would have exposed the lie of the NHS

          1. Brochettaward

            Well, it already does that. It shows that that government run healthcare takes the choice away from patients and their loved ones and puts it in the hands of the state. State death panels, if you will.

          2. The Zenome Project

            It exposed the lie of the NHS to all of the people that already knew that the NHS was a lie. The Average Joe reads the story and says, wow, this is sad and those bureaucrats are misguided and wrong, and just leaves it at that. No questioning about why they’re inclined to choose power and control over a baby’s life.

    3. “too risky…[twiddles thumbs]…oh, and now it’s too late anyway!”

    4. MikeS

      Great Ormond Street Hospital — where Charlie has been since October 2016 — received permission from the European Court of Human Rights in June to discontinue life support in spite of his parents desire to bring him to the US for an experimental therapy called nucleoside bypass therapy.

      There are so many things wrong with that paragraph. Every one of the fuckers who had a hand in killing this child should be imprisoned for life. This whole thing has been so fucking enraging.

    5. WTF

      The most rage-inducing part is that they actually prohibited the parents from taking their child to the US for experimental treatment at their own expense! The arrogance and cruelty of these bureaucrats is just unfathomable. The UK is officially a slave society.

      1. The Zenome Project

        Say what you want about InfoWars viewers and their shaky conspiracies, but any revolt and rage against the bureaucratic state is a very healthy thing indeed. The UK could certainly use more of it.

      2. F. Stupidity Jr.

        The most humane thing to do to England at this point is to turn it into Parking Lot One.

    6. Chipwooder

      Sonsofbitches strung it out long enough that they knew they’d get their way in the end. Evil, just pure evil.

      Elsewhere in the article, I noticed this: “prominent Vatican pediatrician Dr. Enrico Silvio Bertini” Why does the Vatican need pedicatricians? What children live there?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        What children live there?

        You don’t really want to know the answer to that one.

        1. Chipwooder

          So basically he’s Doc from Deadwood?

          1. SugarFree

            The world’s leading expert on anal fissures.

          2. Chipwooder

            That’s appalling, even for you. I mean that as a compliment, of course!

          3. Rick C-137

            +1 goatze

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        Probably for missionary work.

        1. MikeS

          Huh. I would have guessed doggy-style

          1. That’s the Vatican Veternarian.

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            That was a serious reply. Then I noticed the phrasing…meh. Fuck it.

        2. Q Continuum

          You left out “position”.

      3. R C Dean

        Why does the Vatican need pedicatricians?

        All those Catholic health care systems and charities? Yeah, the Vatican still has a say in what they do. I’m guessing he’s basically like a medical director for the rather enormous Catholic health care operation.

    7. Vhyrus

      Charlie will probably die soon, but The UK as a free country is already dead.

    8. Bob

      I unfortunately read comments on facederp about this. It’s a sad world. Basically profs cheering for him to die already.

      1. Bob

        Progs not profs, like there’s a difference.

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          really?

      2. The lack of self-reflection should be appalling, but I’ve become inured to this sort of behaviour. They are completely unable to tell the degree to which they have become monstrous.

        1. SP

          ^THIS^

        2. Rick C-137

          It’s chilling, to a great degree. The things that they thoughtlessly advocate are at the surface about fairness, but taken to the logical conclusion is quite horrible.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Life is not fair, life is not kind, life is quite often quite horrible. Utopia does not exist and can not exist.

            The difference between statists and non-statists lies in the philosophical response to the last assertion. Statists believe that utopia can be approximated if enough centralized power is allocated to the problem. They conveniently ignore that the accretion of power to authority always and ultimately leads to institutionalized suffering in the name of “good” as defined by the state.

          2. Rick C-137

            Too damn true…

            I recognize Utopia as a lie, even as an affront to the natural order of life, they see it as a laudable goal

        3. Q Continuum

          To admit that this is an immoral situation is to admit that socialized medicine is immoral. They can’t do that so the only way to resolve the cognitive dissonance is to advocate for the death of the child. It’s a religion. Their mindset is no different from that of an Inquisitor believing he’s doing the Lord’s work.

    9. Chipping Pioneer

      This is a case in which I would hope that a functional monarchy could work.

      I’m my imagination, the Queen said to the NHS and the courts: “It would please us if you sodders would fuck off’”, and forced them to let the parents take their kid to the US for treatment. If there’s one thing that a monarch should be able to do, it’s too protect the rights of their “subjects”.

      Instead, it’s a ceremonial monarchy, and there’s fuck all and could do if she was inclined to.

      1. Rick C-137

        I mean, of QEII were to say something things would probably get done, if only because of the immense respect she has among her subjects, but largely because she remains apolitical. It would burn a lot of goodwill though as well.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    In the coming months, we’ll offer additional ideas, from rebuilding rural America to fundamentally changing our trade laws to benefit workers, not multinational corporations.

    Just as soon as our totally representative focus group of Oberlin, Berkeley and Evergreen academics and thought leaders approve them.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    I was hoping this thread was gonna be about our disappointment in Rand Paul.

    Yeah whatever dude. Take your meds.

    1. R C Dean

      Cut Ken some slack. I actually thought that was a pretty decent self-deprecating joke.

  37. one true athena

    A couple days ago I mentioned a comic strip I’d seen, the “Famous Moments in History, reimagined with centrists” that was just appalling in its derpy strawmen stupidity, but I’d lost the link. But as is the way of the internet, it popped up again in a different venue, so

    click to page if you want to see the panels.

    1. SugarFree

      That whole site gave me a bad touch.

      1. Drake

        A Ted Rall type of assholery.

        1. thrakkorzog

          I actually looked up what Ted Rall was up to the other day, and he was making fun of the whole Russian collusion story. He’s still a far lefty who thinks we need to prog harder, but he’s not exactly carrying water for the opposition media about their Russia coverage. Hell, remove one panel and this would fit right in with Newsish: http://rall.com/comic/how-the-press-leads-the-resistance

      2. R C Dean

        That whole site gave me a bad touch.

        In the good way, or the bad way?

    2. Centrists have often been useful idiots for the progs.

    3. The Zenome Project

      This accurately sums up my dad’s political stances. No wonder he’s so terrified of me.

    4. Vhyrus

      Jesus christ it’s like a derpnomicon pop up book.

    5. Juvenile Bluster

      I’d seen it before on twitter. The second one is so great. Mainstream left/center position versus absolute extreme far right position, used to make fun of centrists. I get it, and I don’t get it.

      1. The Zenome Project

        “We Want to Kill Black People” is a far right position? Weren’t the segregationists all statist leftists?

        1. WTF

          Weren’t the segregationists all statist leftists?
          Yes, and so was the Klan.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s false choices all the way down.

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t think the author of panel number 4 really understands the history of the guillotine.

    6. Bob

      I imagine the point is that the relative compromise between any two positions says nothing about if they are correct.

      I took it as making fun of centrism as a political philosophy.

    7. Gilmore

      Progressive Manichaeism

      Or is that redundant?

  38. CPRM

    I could do full artwork for a Hat and Hair story, but I think my mind would melt, and it is unhealthy to bleed out of your eyes I assume.

    1. That depends, are you merely weeping blood, or is your eye lacerated?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Maybe his eyes are menstruating?

        1. SugarFree

          The tampons really hurt going in.

        2. Waterfall Insurance

          It’s the downside to curing the male gaze.

    2. SugarFree

      Maybe wait for the “Sean Spicer dies under mysterious circumstances” episode that should be up within, I don’t know, like a month, month-and-a-half, tops.

    3. thrakkorzog

      “Where we’re going, we won’t need eyes to see.”

      1. Bobarian LMD

        You only have to see it once.

        You can never not see it after that.

    4. Not if you’re of the genus Phrynosoma.

  39. Brochettaward

    Most interesting thing from the Kushner statement:

    For the first time, Kushner said he got an email one week before the election from someone he didn’t recognize called “Guccifer400.” The email threatened to release Trump’s tax returns unless Kushner paid hush money. Kushner says he ignored the email at the advice of a Secret Service agent. The US government says Russia created an online persona called Guccifer 2.0 as a front to release emails it stole during the campaign, but there is no indication that Guccifer400 was part of the Russian meddling effort.

    Sounds like a ham-handed Hillary operation.

    1. Bob

      Did the IS government say Russia created guccifer2.0. Last I heard they had no evidence of any such thing.

      1. Fatty Bolger

        “Evidence?” lol. Who needs evidence?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Kushner reeks of corruption. The media keeps harping on Russia, but it’s his dealings with Qatar that stink to high heaven.

      1. Brochettaward

        The media doesn’t care about corruption. If they did, 90% of Congress and every Clinton would be in jail.

    3. thrakkorzog

      I did some hard hitting investigation and found an excerpt from the e-mail the Secret service determined to be fraudulent:

      “Hello, Dear friend.

      We have not met, but I am former prince of Russia and Russian intelligence gathering serivice and iol billionaire. I am having Trump’s tax release, but am willing to share of it with you if you can pay the the transfer fees. In order to facilIcate transaction, I am needing your CC #, your SSN, and Mother’s maiden name. “

      1. Podesta had to be dragged from the keyboard by an aide?

        1. Rick C-137

          I can see that now.

          “But look at what they are offering… how can we say no?!”

          Followed by this

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWdD206eSv0

        2. kbolino

          For as much as he has been rightly criticized, he also did the right thing and forwarded the email to an IT staffer who told him it was “legitimate”. Honestly, the incompetence at all levels is staggering.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            The staffer was most assuredly a volunteer fresh out of college whose IT qualifications consisted of being able to use Google Docs.

          2. Pomp

            The scenery is complete when you imagine that the IT staffer was eating popcorn chicken at the time.

          3. R C Dean

            Needz maor Cheetos.

          4. ChipsnSalsa

            flamin hot

          5. Bobarian LMD

            The IT staffer known as ‘GoldMember’?

          6. one true athena

            He probably showed it to one of those Pakistani IT people, who lol’ed right before they told him it was legit

  40. Evan from Evansville

    I talked to the admins about a piece and I thought that I had sent it….but gmail doesn’t have a record of my sending the file.

    Where do I email the file to again? I’m fairly certain the problem is on my end—I was hosting some folk and I did it very hastily. I very likely fucked something up somehow.

    So yeah, if someone has an email for me to send my story to, we can all share my fun underground gambling in Seoul last weekend. I left out the underground drug-usage! Mostly because I got stoned for the first time in a long time…and I was drinking….and I had a big….big problem in an alley for about 45 minutes.

    If someone can help me I’ll send in my submission (((correctly))) post-haste

    Thanks!

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder
      1. It’s never just the tip.

      2. Haybob

        No need to send to the NSA they already have the email.

        1. Fatty Bolger

          Before you even hit send.

      3. Haybob

        Tip of the day. Never eat yellow Snowden.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Watch out where the ruskies go.

      1. You’re still using an aol address?

        1. SugarFree

          When you get “dongman69” for an email address, you’ve got to hold on tight.

    2. SP

      *redacted to thwart the bots*

      1. Evan from Evansville

        *Bows courteously*

        *Eyes everyone else with hastening suspicion and slow-burning rage*

    3. Rick C-137

      Y’all are mean and hilarious.

      1. SugarFree

        Especially SP.

        1. SP

          This is why you’re my favorite, SF. You recognize my talents.

    4. Evan from Evansville

      VERY FEW OF YOU ARE HELPFUL!!

      1. Mad Scientist

        Define helpful!

      2. DOOMco

        It’s the libertarian way.

      3. thrakkorzog

        I get paid to be helpful.

        Being a cynical smartass is a complimentary service.

    5. R C Dean

      The banner at the top of the page has a “Leads/Submissions” link.

  41. Suthenboy

    I spend too much time on this family friendly site. I dreamed about you assholes last night.

    1. Fatty Bolger

      As long as it wasn’t a wet dream.

      … It wasn’t, was it?

      1. ewwww /teenage girl

      2. Bobarian LMD

        At Suthen’s age, it just coughs up dust.

    2. Mad Scientist

      What were we wearing?

    3. Haybob

      Dream or nightmare?

      1. Suthenboy

        Nightmare. I came to check the site and someone was insulting me while I wasn’t here. Normally I appreciate insults but this one was inappropriate. I was trying to post ‘if you are going to insult me at least get it right!’ when I woke up.

        Geez. Steak, asparagus and black beans for supper. The steak is marinating. I put the black beans on with chicken stock, garlic and cayenne with a very meaty pork neck bone to simmer for a couple of hours. I just went to check on the neck bone and more than half of the beans are gone. I called out to my wife who is sitting on the couch watching Artful Detective and she said ‘What? What do you mean?’ while she hid her bowl and spoon behind her back. So, steak and asparagus for me tonight.

        Give her inches and feed her well.

        1. Rick C-137

          Phrasing!

        2. how many inches? /go on

          1. Suthenboy

            It was a reference.

            I keep forgetting how old I am. Or how young most of y’all are. I still think of these guys as a new awful hair band.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IsGKeNJa9E

            Hell, they aren’t even all still living much less playing.

          2. Rick C-137

            As were ours, but hey, glibs brings us all together, neh?

          3. Rick C-137

            My wife saw Def Leopard many years ago. Probably as a child, but still, by the transitive property so have I

          4. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Cool, so you’ve slept with the band too!

          5. Rick C-137

            I should go get tested then, huh?

    4. Rick C-137

      Suthen, laying on a shrinks couch

      “So, you haf been dreaming of zees people again, hmm?”

      Suthen nods slowly and stairs into space

      “Yeah doc, it was just weird this time too…”

      “Well Surhenboy, you know sometimes a packet of sweetnlo is just a sugar substitute “

    5. mexican sharpshooter

      Were we flinging avocados at you?

      1. Rick C-137

        +1 barrage of rotten fruits and veggies

      2. thrakkorzog

        Was it the one where you’re dressed in Sun God robes in front of a giant pyramid while thousands of naked Debbie Wasserman Schultzes scream and throw little avocados at you?

        1. Rick C-137

          That’s a very specific fetish. HM’s gonna need to make a call on that

          1. thrakkorzog

            Why am I the only one who has that dream?

          2. But Enough About Me

            The rest of us are just lucky that way, I guess.

      3. Bobarian LMD

        That’s a helluva euphemism…

      4. Suthenboy

        *goes back and checks avocado comment in ML*

        I am laughing my ass off.

        “I’m going to give Suthenboy the benefit of the doubt on this one. Maybe he thought he was eating avocado but it was actually snot? Who knows?”

        ^This guy gets it^

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Suthen, figured you might like this. I’m not a framer but I do appreciate a nice tool. *wink*

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ_oyb2b1e4

          (wink included for all the rest of you family friendly sickos)

          1. But Enough About Me

            Coooooool.

    6. “So, how do you sublimate zis lust you haf for your…wait, I’m looking at Chelsea’s file, neffer mind.”

  42. The Late P Brooks

    As long as it wasn’t a wet dream.

    … It wasn’t, was it?

    I’m guessing it had to do with rats and sinking ships, so…

  43. Mad Scientist
  44. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Count the emaciated people who may starve without food stamps. Let me know how many you saw.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMtTxvvLWEs

    1. DOOMco

      3 months, no issue to keep someone from working. hm.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Time for a baby boom