Monday Afternoon Links

Welcome back, Sloopy. Its nice to see his return to the links, even if it did cost him his beard. And I’m not talking about Banjos! Heyoooo!

LAZERZ!!!

Wow, real news. Scaramucci, having completed his job of (a) making everyone forget Sean Spicer and (b) firing Rheince Priebus in such a way that even the GOPe was afraid to stand up for him, is going to go see if he can save his marriage spend more time with his family.

I doubt former Sheriff Joe Arpaio will be wearing pink and living in a tent while he awaits sentencing on criminal contempt conviction.

So I guess this rain storm is now a named storm. Like true Flordians, my wife took our two small children to the park. There’s also this, which means nothing. Ask Houstonians or Lousianans how much damage a “minor” storm can do.

Good-bye to the man who played Chuck Yeager in The Right Stuff. (The real Gen. Yeager is still kicking ass at 95)

Oh, sure. I’m sure Qatar is going to use the current crisis to reform immigration. Riiight.

Does not chase laser pointer

Jets with frickin’ laser beams! Didn’t Clint Eastwood already steal us one?

Speaking of lasers, here’s 2:40 of a variety of animals chasing a laser pointer.

Comments

705 responses to “Monday Afternoon Links”

  1. Florida Man

    Jets with frickin’ laser beams! Didn’t Clint Eastwood already steal us one?

    Was that “Firefox”? You have to think in Russian,comrade.

    1. bacon-magic

      Jets with frickin’ laser beams! Didn’t Clint Eastwood already steal us one?

      You stole my comment comrade.

      1. Florida Man

        A first and joke snag…I’m on top of the world!

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Success of that system is dependent on the power of the laser and the type of seeker on the missile. might make a pilot more confident, though.

    3. trshmnstr

      Jet beams can’t melt steel lasers!!

    4. Agent Cooper

      Firefox was sooooooo boooooooring.

      1. John Titor

        Whines about sexist joke, makes sexist joke.

        What a cunt.

        1. Brochettaward

          I used to defend ENB. Fuck her.

          1. John Titor

            Same.

          2. Chipwooder

            I told you guys a long time ago – Weigel in drag. She’s a fraud. She’s a fairly standard-issue lefty millennial chick who holds a few heterodox liberty-leaning opinions, but whose true sympathies will always lie on the left. She didn’t suddenly just repudiate the rather extensive track record of published leftish articles when she was hired at Reason.

            Never forget – the goals of social justice are noble and Jill Filipovic is a sharp writer.

          3. Somalian Road Corporation

            Weigel’d again!

          4. Chipwooder

            hey hey hey, don’t lump me in with Mikey. I only accuse her of being Weigel in spirit. He thinks she’s the actual Weigel.

          5. Playa Manhattan

            Millenial?

            SNORT

          6. Chipwooder

            She’s 30-35, right? I just assumed that, anyway.

            Who cares. She sucks anyway.

          7. Playa Manhattan

            If she’s that young, the years have not been kind.

      2. F. Stupidity Jr.

        A…a Nikki sighting?

        1. Gray Ghost

          I was wondering if that was “our” Nikki too. A handle like “bibliographing” sounds in line with her expressed interests at TOS.

          1. Hyperion

            I’ve never really understood the reverence for Nicole. If ENB is a quasi libertarian, Nicole is a raging SJW.

      3. Raston Bot

        so much for principles. he was a frat bro so f him.

        i just learned from one of her twittees that the “sandwich” joke to women = n-word to black people.

        1. Brett L

          So if I make a sandwich for my wife is that the equivalent of blackface?

          1. NOT a Naked Intruder

            So if I make a sandwich for my wife is that the equivalent of blackface?

            “My little Sammy…”

        2. Just Say’n

          “sandwich” joke to women = n-word to black people.

          Which was such an incredibly stupid remark it was embarrassing. If anything, that numb skull should be shamed by a Twitter mob. How fucking insulting.

          Guess what, nothing happened to anyone in this country that was anywhere near as bad as what the state did not blacks and native americans.

          1. Just Say’n

            *did to

          2. bacon-magic

            And the Irish?

          3. John Titor

            Didn’t happen, and even if it did they deserved it.

          4. bacon-magic

            boo I say boo

          5. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Those filthy, carrot-topped, potato-scarfing papists had it comin’.

          6. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Cursed time-traveler!

          7. Just Say’n

            I don’t want to play the Oppression Olympic games. I’m just saying that the Irish, the Italians, the Mexicans, the Polish- they all got the same amount of shit as each other. And most of that shit was societal and not directed by the government.

            Blacks and Native Americans endured government sponsored discrimination

          8. Hyperion

            Really? Is this so? At one company I worked for, in a meeting, I once told our customer service manager to go make us a sammich. Everyone laughed, including the other females, and the president of the company. I was also friends with her and after her initial reaction (fuck you [Hyperion] or something to that effect, that was it. So I’m not sure equating this with the N word is not just a little bit of hyperbole.

        3. John Titor

          I had an ex where we’d constantly make the sandwich joke at each other, and actually make each other sandwiches as a result. It was all in good fun. Must be hell being overly sensitive.

          1. BigT

            Was the third person in your sandwich female?

          2. John Titor

            I bloody wish I could have gotten that kind of sandwich, but I have the curse of mostly dating straights.

        4. Count Potato

          The thing is that Scott Alexander is the opposite of a “frat bro”. He’s a hyper-intellectual psychiatrist who writes long philosophical blog posts. This is one of his shorter ones:

          http://slatestarcodex.com/2017/07/29/against-signal-boosting-as-doxxing/

          “But I worry there’s a big strain of libertarians today who don’t. Who wish men were free from kings, but not from mobs. Who wish men were free from others, but definitely not from them.”

          Although I disagree that ENB’s behavior is indicative of “a big strain of libertarians today”.

          1. Count Potato

            “Bad argument gets counterargument. Does not get bullet. Does not get doxxing. Does not get harassment. Does not get fired from job. Gets counterargument. Should not be hard.”

            http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/12/29/the-spirit-of-the-first-amendment/

          2. Somalian Road Corporation

            Although I disagree that ENB’s behavior is indicative of “a big strain of libertarians today”.

            I wish I could disagree but that’s definitely the case. Go look at r/libertarian on Reddit and you’ll see a bunch of self-described libertarians who just want a magically kinder, gentler welfare state with legal weed… and it’s not just buttplug-style “I’m the real libertarian here” concern troll bullshit.

            Also, well, taking a look over the rest of Reason at the moment…

          3. F. Stupidity Jr.

            The thing is that Scott Alexander is the opposite of a “frat bro”

            So a sorority gal?

      4. Count Potato

        I generally like ENB. But she seems to have lost it here.

      5. ENB can kiss my ass. That she describes herself as libertarian is a good example of why I don’t really think of myself as a libertarian anymore.

        1. Hyperion

          Oh stop that. The cosmos are not libertarians, that’s been known for a while to most of us.

      6. butt-head

        Jesus Christ. What an asshole.

      7. Playa Manhattan

        I would have defended her up until about a month ago.

        She’s off the fucking rails.

      8. The Elite Elite

        “Made an offensive joke?” Make me a sammich is fucking offensive now? Good God, grow some fucking thicker skin woman.

        1. bacon-magic

          Or just make the sammich.

        2. Hyperion

          Yeah, someone’s got their panties all up in a bunch over a joke. Not too libertarian like, at all.

      9. Suthenboy

        I had no idea ENB was such a horrible person

      10. Not Adahn

        Reason’s dimmer, lazier version of Maggie McNeil snarking at Scott Alexander?

        She is too dumb to comprehend how stupid she is.

    1. butt-head

      The best advice is not to tweet or, if you do, remain anonymous, lest you become Justine Sacco or this fellow. “Victim blaming,” but you can’t beat the mob mentality. It’s a staple of humanity.

      1. John Titor

        I’m personally not a fan of Twitter at all because I actively think that it promotes some of the worst aspects of both humanity and dialogue in general, but you can at least try to have the self-awareness to not be a stupid cunt. I don’t think it’s asking too much for people, if they want to be seen as respectable and creditable, to take a step back and look at everything around you, and actually think.

        1. butt-head

          It’s definitely worth reminding people because many will take a step back and realize that they’re being pre-judicial assholes, but in the macro sense there will still be a mob doing what mobs do. So individuals, take defensive measures—in addition to proselytizing for a more rational approach.

        2. But Enough About Me

          As Kate Macmillan of SmallDeadAnimals.com fame so succinctly put it, “The only people on Twitter for politics are people who want to hurt you.”

        3. Twitter seems to be a honeypot for people who can’t keep their big yap shut.

          1. But Enough About Me

            Yep. Created an account years ago, was on for less than two weeks, deleted the account. Never looked back.

            If Twitter were to implode tomorrow morning, the world would be a better place.

          2. John Titor

            …as long as Iowahawk started a blog.

          3. But Enough About Me

            Goes without saying, d00d.

          4. LT_Fish

            He already had a blog….

            Amazing stuff.

          5. Behold!

            But then how would the President send out news updates and respond to critics in 140 characters or less?

          6. Vhyrus

            He would start his own website, Trumper.

            …you know that idea gets better and better everytime I hear it.

          7. mexican sharpshooter

            “Today, President Trump set Trumper ablaze with his latest Trump….

          8. JaimeRoberto

            Trumpr goes crazy over Trump’s latest Tromp!

          9. Bobarian LMD

            I keep twitter going for a few funny follows.

            Have only twitted once, to find out why I couldn’t get into this site.

          10. Bobarian LMD

            Best tweet I’ve seen in a while:

            Sean Spicier‏ @sean_spicier · 2h2 hours ago

            Let this be a lesson to everybody:
            What Steve Bannon does on his own time is nobody’s business

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Speaking of twitter spats….

      Lefty professor Corey Robin accidentally gets into spat with Chelsea Clinton on twitter. Robin has a pretty funny write up on the kerfuffle.

      To my surprise, Clinton didn’t appreciate my commentary.

      No, let me rephrase that.

      To my surprise, Chelsea Clinton—author of a best-selling book; vice chair of a powerful global foundation; former special correspondent for NBC; possible congressional candidate, with a net worth of $15 million; daughter of the former president of the United States; daughter of the former Secretary of State and almost-president of the United States—read my tweet.

      In case it didn’t come through correctly, that response seemed to be inside a /sarc tag. Chelsea comes off as a really stupid and boring ass.

      1. Behold!

        Serious question: do rich people active on Twitter generally hire someone to read their tweets for them and either update them if any are “important” or ghost write responses? I guarentee Hillary didn’t write a single one of her Tweets, and it seems many should be to active IRL to respond to stuff like this.

        1. John Titor

          Most politicians (sans Trump) have staffers for it, not sure about broader ‘rich people’ but the ones that associate themselves with their businesses are probably run by staffers as well.

          1. Chipwooder

            I know the vast majority of athletes and celebrity types hire flunkies to run their twitter accounts, but there are a few who don’t.

        2. Gadfly

          It clearly varies from person to person. I mean, Trump obviously writes his own tweets, which is why they are so great/terrible, and I’ve read some other celebrities do so as well. It seems to vary on personality: the type of person who enjoys schlubbing it with the hoi-polloi and speaking off the cuff will do their own twitter, while the aloof and stage-manager types will outsource it.

        3. KibbledKristen

          You can pretty easily tell who does and does not write their own. The ones who get personal/controversial/funny usually write their own.

          Massie is a little tart – I’m sure his staff gets the dry heaves every time he fires up the Tweeters. He clearly writes his own.

          1. Gray Ghost

            Then there’s TX Supreme Court Justice Willett.

            Y’know, the one judge/justice if you’d asked me 10 years ago, I’d be dead sure would have a Twitter account, is Ninth Circuit Judge Alex Kozinski. Not only would he have had it, he’d write all the tweets himself, and they’d be hilarious.

            But he doesn’t, at least according to a cursory search. Weird.

          2. KibbledKristen

            WIllett needs to be on SCOTUS, ASAP

        4. SP

          Penn & Teller both do all their own tweeting, as do a bunch of musicians I know.

          There are some really active communities on Twitter. I follow a bunch of obscure medical specialists, for example, who have all met because of Twitter. It can be a force for good and making actual connections. It’s just that most people don’t use it that way. It’s just a communication tool.

      2. BigT

        “Chelsea comes off as a really stupid and boring ass.”

        Not Bill’s kid.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Uffda, I said Chelsea Clinton (Vince Weber’s kid) not Bill’s kid.

          Try to keep up.

  2. Florida Man

    Gov. Rick Scott on Monday to declare a state of emergency for 31 of the state’s 67 counties as a precaution.

    Where da hell is slippery Rick from? This ain’t no storm!

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      One might argue that any county governed by that asshole is in a state of emergency though.

      1. Florida Man

        Hi-yo!

    2. Brett L

      I think he’s hoping Trump will drop some sweet, sweet FEMA moneybags on us.

      1. Drop them on Rick Scott like an anvil.

      2. Florida Man

        That’s what I told a coworker. I was all like “flooded is the natural state of Tampa.”

        1. Negroni Please
          1. Brett L

            My house is 60 feet above sea level. We’ll have a hurricane party.

          2. Negroni Please

            Excellent. My hurricane plans so far mainly revolve around alcohol anyway. But I suppose I might amend them to include looting and shooting at rescue workers.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            I want to do everything that reportedly happened in New Orleans but turned out to be a lie.

          4. Negroni Please

            Playa wants to setup a rape camp in the Superdome. You all heard him.

          5. Florida Man

            He is an oceanographer, the most sciency of scientists.

          6. Playa Manhattan

            I know 2 guys who did oceanography for the ladies, and then later regretted it.

          7. JaimeRoberto

            Yeah, that’s why I got into engineering.

      3. Juvenile Bluster

        I’m still upset Trump didn’t give Scott and/or Pam Bondi jobs in his administration.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          So… get them out of your state and make them everyone’s problem?

          *makes Italian fuck you gesture*

          1. bacon-magic

            Is that the chin/hand movement Mr. Figalini?

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Yes.

            Or it’s the jerking off and throwing splooge movement.

            You decide.

          3. bacon-magic

            *gestures*

  3. Florida Man

    Prosecutors claim Arpaio did this because he was running for reelection in 2012, and that Arpaio allegedly used his defiance to raise millions of dollars and brag about it to the media.

    Arpaio’s lawyers argued that he didn’t intend to break the law.

    A two minute google search should clear that up.

    1. Behold!

      He didn’t intend to break the law? Well, Hillary’s email investigation has shown that this automatically absolves him of any wrongdoing whatsoever. Or does the only worm for goodthinkers?

      1. Vhyrus

        John would be proud.

        1. Behold!

          I’d complain about being on mobile, but honestly I think the funny typos are part of what make forums so much fun.

      2. The Elite Elite

        He doesn’t have a vagina or a D next to his name, so that won’t save him.

        1. Bob

          No vagina or D makes him a protected class.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Using Tango and Cash as evidence, they don’t put cops in with the general population. Oh well.

      I will lament by running out and gorging myself on this half price cheesecake!

      1. EvilSheldon

        I normally never joke about prison rape. I don’t think it’s funny, and I hate that the prison system uses sexual violence as a bonus punishment.

        But the image of Sheriff Joe taking it up the ass from some infected junkie, fills me with more schadenfreude than anything since Hillary’s election party.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Thats why I mentioned Tango and Cash. No rape, but plenty of ass kicking revenge.

    3. Chipwooder

      Maybe I’ll stop getting fucking fundraising emails from his wife. I don’t know what joker gave them my email but it’s been pissing me off lately.

  4. KibbledKristen

    We had more messages from our friend in Canananada who sent us a threatening email last week, after the Mounties had a little talk with him.

    And yes, he used his real name and address. And yes, he is “known” to the Mounties.

    One of the emails was “do I want to harm you? No. But…”

    That gives me the warm fuzzies!

    1. So now we know Cytotoxic’s real name?

      1. KibbledKristen

        OMG – that would be hilarious if that were him!

      2. bacon-magic

        Is he 12 in a 45 year old body or 45 in a 12 year old body?

        1. PBRstreetgang

          “or 45 in a 12 year old body?” … so, R. Kelly?

          1. bacon-magic

            lol

          2. Mr Lizard

            *attempts narrowed gaze while giggling*

        2. Bobarian LMD

          Either way, it is his Mom’s address.

    2. But Enough About Me

      ‘Ere! Wot’s all this then?

    3. Behold!

      “Do no bother calling the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us.

      Sincerely, Calvin.”

    4. You’d think this would be one speech-related case where the Canadians would file charges, rather than fringe politics.

      Stay safe…

      1. rather than focus on speech about fringe politics…

    5. Tonio

      I missed that. What happened, KK?

      1. KibbledKristen

        Not much.. I work for the type of company that has a high potential for attracting crazies. This guy apparently thinks we’re beaming signals into his brain.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Tell him that CRTC rules prevent you from doing so, as you don’t have 40% Canadian content.

          1. Somalian Road Corporation

            This response is entirely plausible.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          Change the signals and get him under more firm control.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Lady, you were crazy long before Trump clinched the election.

      1. Is it a lady?

        It seemed like she was, but then s/he threw in the “mutual boned” comment, and I so I started to question my Cognitive Privilege.

        1. Just Say’n

          Are you suggesting that women cannot also have boners? Gender stereotype much?

          1. I gender stereotype increasingly. It’s what I do, as a man.

          2. Unceasingly, not increasingly.

        2. John Titor

          Lady boners are a thing, but it’s more commonly referred to as sploosh nowadays.

          1. Bobarian LMD
        3. commodious spittoon

          Skimmed and read something about fingering, which seems gynocentric to me.

          1. Could be a really unusual fetish.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            You both sound like cis-gendered shitlords to me!

            /NTTAWWT

    2. Just Say’n

      “I go to the store to pick up materials for an activism project I’m working on, which involves little projects geared toward the good fight against bad Trump. This month, I’m making angry phone calls to senators and writing letters. I go home and take a shower, and then head out.”

      See what happens when they don’t know how to make a sandwich, ENB? They channel their free time into stupid activities

      (joking)

      1. commodious spittoon

        *starts one-man Twitter mob on your ass*

      2. Vhyrus

        I can only hope ENB lurks on this site. It’s one of the only things that gets me up in the morning.

        1. Just Say’n

          Shittiest Reason Writers Ranked

          (1) Chapman
          (2) Shitka (yes, I purposely misspelled her name)
          (3) Soave
          (4) Gillespie (his articles aren’t usually that bad, but fuck Gillespie)
          (5) ENB

          1. Bob Boberson

            I’ve talked about this on here before, can’t remember if it was with you. IMHO she’s one of the better, more thorough writers over at TSTSNBN, but if her Twitter account reveals anything it’s that she sucks as a person.

          2. Bob Boberson

            To clarify, I’m not saying I didn’t take issue with some of her not-so-liberty friendly-positions, but the quality of her work was always way above Robby-here’s-some-shit-I-wrote-off-the-cuff Soave and much less derpy than Sudeman, Shitka, Chapman, etc.

          3. Behold!

            Agreed with her article quality, haven’t kept up with her personal life so can’t comment there (old habit, avoid finding out what uour favorite authors are like personally or their politics. It’s usually disappointing.) I still think this* is one of the best articles I’ve ever read on Reason.

            *http://reason.com/archives/2016/09/09/the-truth-about-us-sex-trafficking/amp

          4. Bob Boberson

            Yep, that one stood out to me too. She’s a good writer, just not a reliable defender of liberty. Cosmo down to her toes.

          5. trshmnstr

            Yep, I sided with the pro-ENB folks. Her politics may have sucked, but she wasn’t sucked into the vapid idiocy of her fellow writers until the very end.

          6. RAHeinlein

            I believe ENB = Elizabeth Not-so Bright. Her recent items are more thorough, but the early stuff was absurd. It galls me when “writers” decide to be authorities in areas about which they know nothing – ENB actually bragged about a nutrition “certificate” which apparently made her an expert.

          7. I was gonna say, I could see Suderman nipping at ENB’s heels for 5th place.

          8. Chapman could just be all worst five positions.

          9. Playa Manhattan

            By Chapman, you mean Dalmia?

          10. Behold!

            What about best Reason wroters ranked, the omes you wish were putting up posts more recently? Stossel was always excellent. What if Napolitano was good too? I also liked reading de Rugy’s stuff. And Shackford never skimped on alt text for the links.

          11. I’d go 2Chili, Napolitano, Stossel, de Rugy, and Welch, probably in that order.

          12. bacon-magic

            Yes.

          13. Chipwooder

            Bring back Cavanaugh and Moynihan!

            And the previous version of Balko, before he was WaPoized

          14. Chipwooder

            I’d like to see more Harsanyi, too.

          15. Somalian Road Corporation

            RIP Balko. Seeing him go off the rails in bald solidarity for controlled opposition Egg McMuffin was sad.

          16. Michael

            I like Krayewski too.

          17. bacon-magic

            Ed Kray Kray rocks.

          18. Gray Ghost

            Sullum wasn’t bad until this election. I’ve a soft spot for Bailey too.

          19. RBS

            Brian Doherty.

          20. Mad Scientist

            Wiegel goes in the top 5.

          21. Bobarian LMD

            Shrike’s not here!

            /Mikey

          22. Pan Zagloba

            Weigel is everywhere and everyone! Except all the ones who are Tulpa!

          23. grrizzly

            Gillespie. The fish stinks from the head.

    3. KibbledKristen

      My horniness quotient has gone way up since the election, what with all the salty ham tears and daily doses of schadenfreude.

      1. Just Say’n

        I think I overdosed on schadenfreude a few weeks back. I’m trying to quit the stuff.

      2. Worker and Parasite

        It’s a glorious time to be alive.

      3. Behold!

        So glad to know I’m not the only way who jerks off to this.

        …I’m not, am I?

        1. Brochettaward

          I don’t even need to touch myself. I just spontaneously blow loads in my pants.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Wait… is that unusual?

        2. KibbledKristen

          I gotta watch that later cause I’m im the 711 parking lot, and public orgasms are not one of my fetishes.

        3. Playa Manhattan

          I love the caption
          “Feminist doesn’t like numbers”

      4. Playa Manhattan

        Salty ham tears?

        Can’t spare the moisture!

  5. Florida Man

    There, I did three links. Does anyone have experience with holosun optics? I’m looking to pick up an open reticle for my new gun, when it ships.

    1. Vhyrus

      Holosun is the best budget brand you can buy. They make all of the primary arms red dots. I believe they make the new Sig red dots as well. It’s about the best shit you can get from China.

      1. Florida Man

        Thanks.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      I never fired one, but they have some on mocked up stocks at the local store, and I’m kinda coveting one.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      EOTech XPS2 or GTFO.

      You’re a DINK. Treat yourself, and then tell your wife when she’s in a good mood.

      1. Florida Man

        True, but I want something Inexpensive to put on a reasonable priced home defense gun that won’t live in the safe. That way if the house gets robbed when I’m not home, I’m not losing my sig with an expensive optic.

  6. KibbledKristen

    For the airplane geeks. I gotchyer wing flex right here!

    1. But Enough About Me

      Holy crap.

    2. KibbledKristen
    3. Florida Man

      FT comments: Great capture Daniel! You got all of the elements together in one image. 5 stars!

      What a weird fetish.
      *goes back to watching alligator porn*

      1. John Titor

        What part of it gets you off? Is it the cloacae? I bet it’s the cloacae.

        1. Florida Man

          You know it, brother!
          *high-five*

        2. KibbledKristen

          For me, it’s the belly. I just sit there and mumble “handbag, handbag, shoes, handbag, shoes, handbag…”

        3. Pan Zagloba

          He likes big tails, and he cannot lie

    4. Chipwooder

      Nothing will ever top excited train guy

  7. Scaramucci…is going to go see if he can save his marriage spend more time with his family.

    I bet his wife regrets threatening to divorce him, now.

  8. Juvenile Bluster

    So per the WSJ, Scaramucci Scaramucci will still be doing the fandango at the Ex-Im Bank, which still shouldn’t exist except for Team Red being hypocritical crony “capitalists”.

    1. Brett L

      Yes. I expect that the deal was that Scaramucci jettisons Priebus, who was supposed to be the GOPe’s man inside the White House, and then gets to go. The fact that he dick punched Steve Bannon on his was through was just good service.

      1. Brochettaward

        I think the answer is that no one really knows what the hell they’re doing there. Kelly got the top job, and pushed for him to be fired. For humor, Scaramucci is great. But it’s pretty obvious that a serious White House probably doesn’t want a guy in the position of Communications Director who calls up reporters in the middle of the night ranting like a crazy person about his colleagues while demanding to know their sources.

  9. Drake

    This really isn’t looking good for Dirty Debbie. Imran Awan Had Access to Email of Every Member of Congress.

    1. Even those that still used AOL?

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Oh please let this take her down. Please please please. I know my home district is going to elect a new progressive to take her place, but still… c’mon, please.

    3. Brochettaward

      Phony scandal. Let’s get back to Russia.

    4. Raston Bot

      did the Judge provide any support for those two claims?

      1. I’ll bet money that the Judge has never lost a match of the question game. He’s like the Michael Jordan of Questions.

        1. Drake

          Yep – Fox could re-fire him, then re-re-hire him.

    5. Somalian Road Corporation

      I really wonder what the buzz is on JournoList 2.0 about how they need to not mention this story at all or spin it as pure RepubliKKKan racism like that ridiculous Daily Beast piece.

    1. KibbledKristen

      He was another socialist that puzzled me, like George Orwell. Einstein was a gigantic anti-authoritarian. What did he think was gonna happen with socialism?

      1. John Titor

        The state magically disappears once it’s distributed everything properly. Socialists have a very static and shallow view of human interaction and the distinction between the state and civil society.

      2. Gadfly

        Einstein doesn’t surprise me, since (*stereotype incoming*) in my experience numbers guys aren’t really people persons. If you don’t get how people think and behave, you’ll be unable to see the faults inherent in socialism and other similar systems.

        1. Drake

          Yes – In theory it’s much more efficient than the chaos of free markets – until you add actual people to the equation.

        2. kbolino

          Hubris, too. You can approach the faults of central planning from the information side of things. No one person, nor council of economic planners, can process the constant stream of information concerning the needs and abilities of millions of other people in all facets of life and consistently make the locally optimal economic choices for each and every one of them. It’s just not remotely feasible, and anyone who has spent any time building a complex system would be well aware of such a limitation. Of course, academics tend not to know their limits, so …

    2. Behold!

      Not reading the link (who does?) but just the quote, I actually agree with and wish more of the people who Love Science realized it. Just because Neil Degrasse Tyson is as good(?) astrophysicist doesn’t mean he has any understandning of economics and shouldn’t be treated as an expert there. Even ignoring political stuff, it’s well known that a lot of the great minds tend to suffer a lot in “social intelligence.”

      Though from Kristen’s post it sounds like he’s just saying “ignore smart people who disagree with me,” not actually making a Sowellian remark on educated people knowing their limits.

      1. kinnath

        I had a physics professor who was brilliant when talking about optics and lazers . . . and was a complete moron in everyday life.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          In college I pointed out to a chemistry professor that he was smoking over an open gas line. Workers from the local utility had dug it up for maintenance on a leak.

        2. Enough About Palin

          I have a brother with a PhD in chemistry from UCLA and a post doc from Columbia. When he’s in town, he never can remember which of two door keys works either the deadbolt or the doorknob.

      2. KibbledKristen

        NDT is not really all that as a physicist. He is on TV. But he hasn’t really contributed much, if anything, to actual physics research & theory. He’s great at explaining physics, though. But not as good as Carl Sagan or Michio Kaku. So, he’s just kinda mediocre all around.

    3. Bob

      I think a lot of smart people are drawn to socialism. Capitalism says the economy is a problem that cannot be “solved.” Not that it’s difficult to solve, but impossible.

      Socialism says it’s a problem that can be solved, it’s just difficult.

      Smart people think they can solve difficult problems, even intractable problems.

      It’s always seemed to me that the economy is a function of what people want and their ability to get it. What people want isn’t a difficult question, it’s an impossible one. It is not possible to know what everyone wants, it’s not even deterministic. If it was then you could get to trying to solve the problem of how to get it which is probably about as simple as trying to model the climate and forecast a year out by modeling the behavior of every individual atom at a given moment.

      At least that’s a deterministic problem that theoretically could be solved even if its so impractical as to be very close to impossible.

      1. mindyourbusiness

        + 1 black cat in a dark room.

      2. Fodder

        I think the attraction of socialism in many technically inclined people comes down to the Top Men syndrome. They like the idea of smart people (like they view themselves) being in charge.

  10. Worker and Parasite

    Gun question that I don’t want to wait until Friday to ask: how’s the recoil on .327 mag? I’m looking at Ruger LCRs and it’s an interesting caliber that I have zero experience with.

    1. Mmm… I have a Ruger SP101 (.357 mag, 3.25″ barrel). It is not a pleasure to shoot, but I also have tiny girly hands. /shrug

      1. Worker and Parasite

        For an LCR, there’s no way I’d do .357. I can handle .357 in a full-size revolver, but I don’t hate myself enough to try it in a small carry revolver. If .327 is even close to that, then it’d be out.

        1. Florida Man

          Probably a pass then. They had a gp100 in .327. That would be fun. The whole gimmick was to give you .357 power, in a small round, so the pressure levels are crazy high. You feel it in your face when you fire it.

          1. Yeah. I normally just use .38 specials when I practice with it. But every now and then, I pull out the .357 mags since that’s what it’s loaded with at home.

            It’s a little like getting punched in the face…. But just a little.

          2. Florida Man

            It’s a little like getting punched in the face…. But just a little.

            That’s the whole reason I shoot magnums.

    2. Florida Man

      I own 2 .327 mags in stainless steel sp101. The recoil is fine (between .38 special and .357 mag), but it is loud AF. I like it, but there isn’t a lot of support for the round.

    3. Raston Bot

      for .327 fed mag

      Bullet mass/type Velocity Energy
      115 gr (7 g) JHP 1,300 ft/s (400 m/s) 431 ft·lbf (584 J)

      for .357 mag

      Bullet mass/type Velocity Energy
      125 gr (8 g) JHP 1,450 ft/s (440 m/s) 583 ft·lbf (790 J)

      looks like recoil will be ~25% less than .357 mag.

      1. Gray Ghost

        Online recoil calculator. Should give some ball park figures.

        Grip selection/structure matters a lot, even in something that you wouldn’t think recoils that much. Suthen’s story about his derringer that smacked his thumb like a hammer was hitting it, is a pretty good illustration.

        I’ve shot a 9mm that was extremely unpleasant, due to the grip and overall fit/finish being poor. Then again, I’ve shot .50 AE out of a Deagle, or .454 out of a S&W 460 and it wasn’t that bad. Porting, weight, and some well-made grips really tamed a lot of the shock and awe.

    4. Drake

      Just use .38 Special ammo for plinking if you don’t like the recoil.

      My uncle used to take us shooting when we were kids. He’d take his .357. load 5 .38s and 1 hot .357 load and spin the cylinder before handing it over. Taught us not to flinch because you never knew which trigger pull had the big kick.

      1. Drake

        Oh, .327? Can you use .32 longs?

        1. Florida Man

          Yes you can and it’s very pleasant.

  11. From July 10

    “Robb: Joe Arpaio still deserves a jury trial…

    “The U.S. Constitution couldn’t be plainer on the subject. The Sixth Amendment states: “In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury …”

    “In 1970, the U.S. Supreme Court found (Baldwin v. New York) that “all” didn’t really mean “all.” The court found a magical line hidden in the text. “All” actually meant criminal cases in which the potential penalty was more than six months incarceration. Six months or less in the hoosegow, no right to a jury trial.

    “Actually, only three of eight justices participating concluded that there was a magical six-month exception to the right to a jury trial. But because of the way the concurring and dissenting opinions split, the plurality six-month magical line became the controlling opinion, and remains so through to today.

    “And guess what? The maximum penalty Arpaio is facing is six months. He falls short of Baldwin’s magical line….

    “Snow’s remedial order forbade Arpaio from doing what is authorized under federal law and arguably required under state law. And that is the behavior that has him facing criminal charges….

    “Arpaio put himself in this predicament. But a jury, not a judge, should decide whether he hangs for it.”

    1. It’s time for some judges to retire and enjoy life for a while.

    2. Somalian Road Corporation

      “In 1970, the U.S. Supreme Court found (Baldwin v. New York) that “all” didn’t really mean “all.” The court found a magical line hidden in the text. “All” actually meant criminal cases in which the potential penalty was more than six months incarceration. Six months or less in the hoosegow, no right to a jury trial.

      I remember getting to ask a judge about this when I was a kid. I forget the exact wording of the answer, but I remember thinking it was smug bullshit then.

      1. They used to say that jury trials *never* applied to criminal contempt cases, unless Congress said gave a right to a jury trial.

        Now they offer a deal to judges – you don’t have to use a jury, but once you convict the guy, you can’t give more than a six-month sentence.

        There are people who think Arpaio is a hero, there are people who think he’s a crook, but who actually believes that he’s a *petty* crook, which is the legal fiction the judge indulges in order to avoid a jury trial.

    3. In practice, judges tend to classify contempts as “petty crimes” – even when the crime involves alleged misuse of public office to defy judicial authority.

      By classifying a contempt as “petty” and giving a six-month sentence or less, a judge can usually avoid the hassle of a jury trial. And that’s more important than imposing a stiff punishment.

      1. Of course, we’re dealing with a defendant whose popularity is plummeting by the second – even his former constituents rejected him. And I doubt there’s much love for him over here.

        And he’s out of office.

        So he’s gone from oppressive political boss to being a target of official oppression himself – the classic “unpopular defendant” whose rights, according to the great American myth, the Bill of Rights is supposed to protect.

  12. Brochettaward

    Jets with frickin’ laser beams! Didn’t Clint Eastwood already steal us one?

    I read this as “Jews with frickin’ laser beams!” at first.

    1. John Titor

      The damn things won’t work on a Saturday.

    2. butt-head

      Let George Lucas loose to edit “Inglourious Basterds.”

      1. Vhyrus

        Hitler shoots first?

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        I’m probably in a pretty small minority on this one, but I didn’t much care for that movie. Let George Lucas have at it, I say.

        1. But Enough About Me

          Yeah, I’m with you, although the scene in the movie theatre when it’s burning to the ground and the woman’s face, projected against the billowing smoke and wildly laughing, was awesome.

          Or am I mis-remembering it again?

        2. Vhyrus

          I thought Basterds was be the only thing of value Tarantino has ever done. It had Germans speaking German, French speaking French, Americans speaking English, and plot points that actually made sense. Yes it all fell apart at the end but it exploded in such a hilariously beautiful way you can’t help but cheer.

          1. kinnath

            Pulp Fiction

          2. Florida Man

            Reservoir dogs

          3. Vhyrus

            okay dogs was good, but personally I think Pulp Fiction may be the most overrated movie ever made.

          4. LT_Fish

            If Reservoir Dogs wasn’t a shameless ripoff of “City on Fire” (Chow Yun Fat, etc) – I might like it more.

          5. LT_Fish

            Jackie Brown on the other hand…..you can’t really go wrong with Elmore Leonard….and with Pam Grier no less!

          6. Akira

            That’s the only movie of his that I liked and still watch from time to time.

            Then I saw Deathproof over at a friend’s house, and it was so bad that I vowed never to watch another one of his movies again. And I didn’t.

          7. mexican sharpshooter

            It was just the whole, “get on with it!” thing. You don’t have to have 20 minutes of dialogue leading up to a 3 minute fight scene, especially when the majority of the audience is there to see fight scenes. Honestly, I have the same complaint about all of his movies.

            I’m done being a killjoy.

          8. John Titor

            No one goes to a Tarantino film for the fight scenes, they go for the fifteen minute long conversations about shoes.

          9. Florida Man

            Correct. I enjoy the dialogue in QT films.

          10. EvilSheldon

            Pretty much. I’m sure as fuck not there for the story.

          11. F. Stupidity Jr.

            I’ve missed out on recent QT movies. I’d rank the one’s I’ve seen like so:

            1) Reservoir Dogs
            2) Pulp Fiction
            3) Kill Bill
            4) Four Rooms (I can’t remember what his segment was called; I liked Robert Rodriguez’ segment best)
            5) Jackie Brown

            I have a sense that I’d like Jackie Brown a lot better if I watched it again now. I’ve got it in line at Amazon Prime, so I guess I’ll find out soon

          12. Worker and Parasite

            I was very pleased when I rewatched Jackie Brown. It’s in a completely different class from his other movies.

          13. EvilSheldon

            Jackie Brown is far and away my favorite Tarantino flick, and it might edge into my all-time top ten. You really can’t go wrong with QT directing a story written by the absolute master of modern crime fiction.

          14. Does True Romance count? That was a good movie.

          15. Vhyrus

            Okay you win this one.

          16. I knew it was Hyperbole-boy day.

          17. Quentin “What foreign movie can I rip off today?” Tarantino? That hack? No thanks.

          18. Meh, it aint like Sergio Leone, Peckinpah, or Kurosara is(are) gonna be making new movies anytime soon, better rip-offs/homages than nothing. At least he’s not remaking shit like Zardoz.

  13. Pan Zagloba

    The Spectator puts the boot in

    Socialism is destroying Venezuela – but the left will never admit it

    If ever I have to live in a dictatorship, put me down for one of those right-wing set-ups. To toil under leftist autocracy would be too exhausting — you plant potatoes all day, get chased around by the secret police, then have to wade through articles in the Guardian explaining why you’re not experiencing true socialism.

    It’s the standard response of Western radicals faced with the brutal truth about the regimes they fetishise. They will not be dissuaded by evidence that their ideology tends to result in mass immiseration and exciting opportunities in the garbage-scavenging economy. For no evidence is possible: when command economies go wrong, it turns out real socialists were never in command.

    1. But Enough About Me

      What’s even more amazing, Pan, is that the remainder of the human race will never take the Left to task for it. The Left always wins these wars — always! — and the next generation always thinks socialism is just groooovy, man.

      I wish I understood the totality of how they pull it off, but I’m not sure my soul can withstand staring into the abyss that much . . .

      1. John Titor

        my soul can withstand staring into the abyss that much . . .

        To continue the Nietzsche references, TL;DR version: The greatest slave morality holds the greatest appeal.

      2. Somalian Road Corporation

        Co-opting almost the entire education system helps with that.

    2. PBRstreetgang

      Maduro and Chavez love(d) the poor people of Venezuela so much they had to create tens of millions more of them!

    3. Behold!

      Question for the Glibs: what exactly is the “left” and “right?” I’ve hated those terms for a long time because I’ve never been able to define them and what are “left” and “right” positions often keep changing. People screamed about Le Pen being a far right extremist when her policies seemed to be more right extremist. Same with far right Hitler, who hated capitalism and the church (both “right wing”) and was an avowed socialist. I’ve heard people say it’s about nationalism, but “left wing” North Korea and USSR are/were crazy nationalistic. Economic and social freedom? Both leftists and rightwingers want to control both, just in different areas that change over time. So what is it?

      1. trshmnstr

        Left is cultural change. Right is cultural traditionalism. There is no universal set of values associated with either.

      2. Gadfly

        “Left” and “right” originally referred to where the politicians in the French National Assembly sat post-Revolution. They are inexact terms, as you seem to suspect, and as best as I can tell they can only be properly defined as follows: “left” stands for those who advocate new-school tradition and “right” stands for those who advocate old-school tradition, with the traditions in question varying by nation/society as well as time.

      3. Pan Zagloba

        USSR was theoretically not crazy nationalistic, being an agglomeration of many nationalities (though in practice Russian culture and language dominated, other republics had local language and alphabet in official use), and had an “international brotherhood of peoples” official outlook.

        As for what left is for me? How about start with people who call themselves “leftists”? Plenty of garbage there. Then find the people who agree with them and bin them in.
        Yes, sometimes Conservatives sound like Social Democrats (hi Bismarck! How about that social security, welfare and public healthcare?) but either because they implement weak version of what lefties are pushing for to head them off or co-opt them (like Bismarck above), or because the formerly left position entreched itself and became a social tradition (NHS, Social Security). And it’s weird trying to reconcile Liberals and Conservatives, who spent entire 19th century fighting, into a same broad grouping. But fuck it, Communists hated no one as much as they hated Social Democrats – not Christians, not Nazis, not Libertarians.

      4. Ken Shultz

        The terms left and right actually come from the French national assembly. The communist part sits the far left, the socialist party sits closer towards the middle, the social democrats sit more towards the middle, the christian democrats sit further to the right, the Gaullists would sit to the right of them, and then the National Front would sit all the way over to the right.

        Calling the National Front and Le Pen “right” is especially meaningful in France for that reason–not only are they on the right, they literally seat themselves to the right of everyone else in parliament.

        In the United States, since before the great depression, left and right have been about socialism and marxism. Since FDR, being on the left has meant supporting The New Deal, its programs, and The Great Society, and its programs. Being on the right has meant opposing that.

        From Barry Goldwater to Ronald Reagan, culture war issues were not a big deal. Things started to change some when The South poured into the Republican Party in the wake of the Reagan Coalition, but even with the periodic resurgence of Republican party by way of the Gingrich revolution and the Tea Party, we’re talking about the right standing up to oppose Great Society expansions–like welfare (under Gingrich) and ObamaCare (with the Tea Party).

  14. Count Potato

    “Gwen Stefani, 47, shows off her incredible body in multi-colored bikini as she hits her hometown Newport Beach”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4747060/PICTURE-EXCLUSIVE-Gwen-Stefani-shows-beach-body.html

    1. Pan Zagloba

      [Clerks voice]

      Forty seven? FORTY SEVEN?!

      Jesus, unless we’re talking major filters/PS work here, she has a monstrous portrait of her up in an attic somewhere.

      1. John Titor

        She’s a Highlander, and the final battle will be decided between her and Keanu Reeves.

        1. EvilSheldon

          Dear God, please tell me that you have a screenplay written…

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Dear God,

            He’s not even one of the Seraphim!

    2. God damn, she’s 47?

    3. She did that one song with Moby, right?

    4. Vhyrus

      I never thought Gwen Stefani had an incredible body, unless you have some sort of tongue depressor fetish.

    5. The Other Kevin

      There definitely is some photo shopping involved. In my younger days I saw No Doubt in one of those festival concerts where there are like 30 acts. I was in the front row, and Gwen Stefani stood on the stage just feet away from me. I distinctly remember a large freckle on her lower belly. Not seeing that here. Unless it turned malignant and was removed at some point.

      1. Vhyrus

        There’s a freckle on her right side in one of the pics.

  15. mexican sharpshooter

    Funny story about this one: Patient finds Cockroaches Scurrying Around at Phoenix VA.

    The whistleblower, who elected to remain anonymous due to fear of retaliation.

    There were exactly four employees that saw it. Kind of narrows it down, skippy.

    1. Vhyrus

      It’s Phoenix. There are roaches in every building the fucking valley. They run around the sidewalks at night like they own the place. Anyone that has ever lived here stops giving a shit about them after the first month.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I know that, I’m from here. This is especially true after it rains like it did when they found it last week.

        Nobody else here is from around here, so they ping Daily Caller.

        1. Vhyrus

          That was more of an FYI for everyone else, not aimed at you.

          I was going to make a cockroach/mexican joke at your expense but I couldn’t come up with anything funny enough.

          1. R C Dean

            Huh. Few to no cockroaches in Tucson. Did not know that about Phoenix.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        My brother lives in Anaheim.

        We go out and walk sometimes at night, and the sidewalks fucking crunch.

    1. Vhyrus

      Step 1: put on seatbelt.
      Step 2: ensure attackers are not wearing seatbelt.
      Step 3: Ram nearest solid object at maximum velocity.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Couldn’t the attackers just pulled the handbrake?

    3. Bobarian LMD

      Dinsmore’s clutch-challenged alleged attackers have since been arrested. A racist motivation may be involved.

      There doesn’t seem to be any mention of any of her attacker’s race… Self hating white men?

        1. “This was a crime spree. They would not have stopped,” Lott said. “They made a statement that they did not like white people and they were only going to rob white people.”

    4. Aus

      “throwing the car in neutral and jumping out at roughly 35 miles an hour.”

      Impressive feat. Must have been an older model car though, don’t all modern vehicles have doors that automatically lock when in motion?

      1. Grumbletarian

        Of course it was an older model car. It had a manual transmission.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    So- can we refer to Scaramoochio as the designated hitter?

  17. The Late P Brooks

    “Gwen Stefani, 47, shows off her incredible body in multi-colored bikini as she hits her hometown Newport Beach”

    Gack, tattoos.

    *declines to click*

    1. Pan Zagloba

      There were no visible tattoos, which might contribute to ‘some photoshopping’ theory.

    2. Count Potato

      I’m not seeing any tattoos.

    3. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      I was actually surprised that she doesn’t seem to have any tattoos, because she struck me as the sort who would have gotten tattoos back in the day. Nowadays not having tattoos stands out more.

  18. Pope Jimbo

    THE PATRIARCHY STRIKES AGAIN!!!!

    Debbie Wasserman-Schultz was apparently going to continue paying her Muslim IT hacker even after he returned to Pakistan (if he hadn’t been nabbed at the airport). However, she stopped paying his wife when she fled the country. When, oh when will our country stop being such a cess pit of sexism?

    Wasserman Schultz spokesman David Darmrom did not respond to a DCNF IG request to explain why Hina had been terminated two days into a trip she claimed was temporary, while her husband had not been terminated for a six-month move. Between the part-time nature of her work and the ban, her absence was unlikely to have been noticed in two days without someone telling the office her plans.

  19. Count Potato

    “Portland man accused of sexually assaulting 65-year-old had been deported 20 times”

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/07/30/portland-man-accused-sexually-assaulting-65-year-old-had-been-deported-20-times.html

    1. Chipwooder

      #PeopleArentIllegal

  20. Enough About Palin

    South Korea Is Preparing A “Surgical Strike” Against The North: Report

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-07-31/south-korea-preparing-surgical-strike-against-north-report

    1. PBRstreetgang

      Ugh. I’m scheduled to head to S. Korea in 3 weeks for vacation. Would any of you’s guys cancel?

      1. John Titor

        If you’ve anywhere but Seoul or near the DMZ you could probably get out if the shit hit the fan. Head over to Japan and crash on straffinrun’s couch.

      2. PBRstreetgang

        We’re only in Seoul of the first day and the last two days. We’re down the west coast to Jeju the rest of the time.
        Couldn’t hurt to have Straffinrun’s address…just in case.

      3. Gray Ghost

        When’s the vacay? Pretty soon, the weather in Korea’s going to be too nasty to do a lot of the precision strike and BDA that the US’d want for a proper decapitation strike. And if they wait past the 2018 Winter Games (held in Korea this time around), Kim’ll have enough dispersed nuke-tipped ICBMs that you really can’t guarantee getting enough of them that our ABMs can keep Seattle and Honolulu non-glowing. Assuming that isn’t the case with Kim already.

        Surprised he hasn’t tested another, bigger nuke yet. Or that he didn’t do that in conjunction with revealing this new ICBM package.

        1. PBRstreetgang

          End of this month.

        2. PBRstreetgang

          Meaning, the end of August.

          1. Gray Ghost

            Well, nothing is likely to happen. Other than some puerile show of force or another. And Jeju is about as far away as you can get from the DMZ. Even if I worst-case it in NUKEMAP (50 kt, all fission, 20 mph, pointing right at you) the plume doesn’t reach Jeju. And again, nothing is going to happen.

            I wouldn’t stress about it.

          2. LT_Fish

            Just in time for the next bit military drill – UFG. Get ready for a ton of reservists and guardsmen hanging around as well – dunno how much it’ll affect souvenir prices, it’s been almost 10 years since I was last there (outside of Navy visits).

    2. Winston

      Oh boy Korean War Ii

      1. Winston

        Though more likely a war plan than something really being planned. Because the norms would be aware of it.

    3. Gray Ghost

      Yeah, no. Not that they couldn’t scratch up some Strike Eagles or whatnot and go bomb something in NK. What happens though when Kim tells his guys to let off a battery or three of MLRS at Seoul in response?

      They’ve always been able to cause more damage to SK than they’ve been worth, which is why no one’s done anything substantive about their nuclear ambitions or other temper tantrums before. Like hacking a few US soldiers to death, or the constant attacks from their infiltrators, or smoking the odd US spy plane or ship. Still not worth a full scale invasion, after you endure a mini Verdun of an artillery bombardment. And if you ‘win’, you then get the 2 trillion dollar bill for fixing up the place.

      It’s going to be a giant mess. Almost worth it to just tell Japan and SK, “Build all the nukes you want,” and let Lawrence Livermore and Sandia/Los Alamos off the Star Wars/SDI leash.

      1. Behold!

        I’d love it if South Koreas entered the Israelian “We will neither confirm no deny that we may or may not definately have nukes,” stage.

    4. Pan Zagloba

      Eh, it’s zerohedge google translating a report whose source is supposedly ” an unidentified government official”. I’d not bet my RRSP on it.

    5. Bobarian LMD

      Imma say, SK has been preparing a strike against NK for GT 60 years.

      1. LT_Fish

        Real life Dirty Dozen didn’t turn out so well.

    6. Gadfly

      That article sounded like the “plan” in question was one of the standard-issue war strategies that nations come up with for hypothetical future events, not a plan of concrete, imminent action. The US has such plans on file for attacking China, Russia, and various other nations, all such plans being filed in the “highly unlikely” category. In the 1930s the US even had plans in place dealing with fighting the British Empire, despite the fact that they had recently been allies and there was no potential animosity on the horizon.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    I thought Basterds was be the only thing of value Tarantino has ever done.

    I turned it off after about five minutes.

  22. Winston

    http://original.antiwar.com/justin/2013/04/11/the-meaning-of-hugo-chavez/

    I know I posted this yesterday but I think Raimondo’s shittiness mustn’t be ignored.

  23. KibbledKristen

    Overhead at 711 “you can’t save a ho from an ass-whoopin”.

    True. True.

    1. PBRstreetgang

      #HoodFortuneCookie

      1. trshmnstr

        Please tell me that’s a real thing.

    2. KibbledKristen

      *overheard

    3. “A ho can only save herself from an ass-whoopin.”

    4. EvilSheldon

      Profound truth.

  24. Suthenboy

    Ok, that is the second time you have used that photo Brett. Which one do you have a crush on?

  25. Enough About Palin

    Wow, real news. Scaramucci

    “It will be interesting to see how future historians will evaluate the Scaramucci Era”

    – Iowahawk

    1. Gray Ghost

      Jeez, Scaramucci embodied the Bungee Boss from Dilbert.

      But Milo wouldn’t have brought enough dignity to the office…

      Watch Trump give this job to another former Marine. Pretty soon, he’ll have a complete starter set.

    2. KibbledKristen

      He always brings the goods, that Burge.

    3. Somalian Road Corporation

      I like how Scaramucci’s divorce got major international coverage but Imran Awan is still to this moment crickets.

  26. Pan Zagloba

    What can cause Beloved State Broadcaster to reconsider government licencing rules? When they impinge on our Sacred and Immaculate Public Healthcare

    Pursuing the MD dream: How Caribbean-trained Canadian doctors struggle to come home

    Foreign-educated Canadians are classified by Health Canada as international medical graduates (IMG) and not Canadian medical graduates (CMG).

    The Canadian Resident Matching Services (CaRMS), a not-for-profit organization, works with Canada’s medical schools and teaching hospitals to match med students with residency programs.

    According to Lisa Turiff, the manager of communications for CaRMS, foreign-trained med students who apply to residency programs in Canada aren’t separated based on their countries of origin. A Canadian who studied in the Caribbean is treated the same as a German who studied in Germany. They’re all classified as IMGs.

    Last year, only 100 of the approximately 1,800 IMGs who applied to Canadian residency programs — including Canadians studying abroad in places like the Caribbean, Ireland, Australia, and the U.K. — landed a spot.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    There were no visible tattoos, which might contribute to ‘some photoshopping’ theory.

    Really? the last time I saw a pic of Stephani she was inked up. It’s hard to believe you could find a way to photograph her with no visible tattoos.

    *Of course, they photoshopped Danica Patrick’s tramp stamp away when she did the SI swimsuit thing.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Click the link and see for yourself – I studied the photo with some care and no ink.

      Headline also may be overpromising – she’s mostly covered in majority of pics and the bikini is not a particularly revealing example of its kind (though it’s definitely not just a swimsuit).

  28. Winston

    So what’s the future for Venezuela. Maduro will likely dissolve the assembly soon and likely will want most of the opposition leads arrested. Seems the endgame is either full-scale civil war by the opposition or a China/North Korea-style “democracy”.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Most likely the Romanian solution. Army and majority of populace will turn on him and fight his cadre of secret police, with his militias melting away. He might get out of the country with Cuban help and go into exile in Havana.

    2. KibbledKristen

      There’s a rather large cultural difference between South America and Asia when it comes to respect for authority. I don’t think this will end well for Maduro.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Click the link and see for yourself – I studied the photo with some care and no ink.

    Huh.

  30. trshmnstr

    I ended up bricking my second laptop in 4 months. The first was an ASUS 2in1 that fried the non-removable SSD. This second one is an HP that had been running Ubuntu, but locked up last night. I souls be able to reimage it, because I still have bios access, but it completely locks up when the OS takes over. When did Ubuntu become so unstable? This isn’t my first computer to be less than stable with Ubuntu. It used to be rock solid!

    1. Vhyrus

      I’m torn between asking how you managed to brick 2 laptops and asking why you ever thought it was a good idea to buy a laptop with a non removable hard drive.

      1. trshmnstr

        It was for my wife, who wanted a tablet and a laptop. It was cheap and got the job done, but it was a definite oversight that the SSD wasn’t removable.

        I’m not sure what happened to my laptop. It’s certainly getting old (I bought it in 2013 for school), but I installed Docky on Ubuntu last night and it hasn’t been the same since. It feels like a graphics card driver issue, based on my intuition.

    2. kbolino

      Usually, the cause is bad graphics drivers. Unfortunately, those are generally of the “hit or miss” variety regardless of distribution (and Windows has had its fair share of driver problems, too). The graphics card makers (Intel, nVidia, AMD) all treat Linux drivers as second-class citizens, and the FOSS drivers tend to have spotty support for individual cards.

      1. kbolino

        That having been said, what changed was probably a driver update or a newly installed program doing something with the graphics card that none of the other programs did before.

  31. Ken Shultz

    So, here’s an excellent argument for open borders AND a wall:

    PORTLAND, Ore. — Officials with US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) claim the Multnomah County Jail let a “serial immigration violator” walk out last year despite a detainer, and did so without notifying ICE.

    That same man is now accused of violently assaulting two women earlier this week in Portland.

    Court documents previously obtained by KATU News show Sergio Jose Martinez has been deported to Mexico 20 times. He has previous convictions for attempted battery, felony burglary and illegal re-entry into the country after removal.

    Martinez is accused of sexually and physically assaulting a 65-year-old woman in NE Portland early Monday morning, and then stealing her car. He’s also accused of a violent assault at a NE Portland garage that occurred later that same day. He’s facing robbery, kidnapping and assault charges in connection with the parking garage attack, as well as robbery, burglary, sodomy and sex abuse charges in the early morning attack.

    http://katu.com/news/local/jail-let-undocumented-immigrant-out-despite-ice-detainer-sergio-martinez

    So, here’s a guy that represents a serious threat to our rights–we don’t want him going around stealing cars much less sodomizing 65 year old strangers. And if government has any legitimate purpose at all, it’s to protect our rights. Unfortunately, the government is doing a terrible job of that with illegal immigrants in two ways:

    1) It isn’t doing a good job keeping the threats to our rights out.

    2) It isn’t doing a good job differentiating between those who are threats to our rights and those who aren’t.

    Those two problems are, of course, interrelated.

    Solution?

    If we had a treaty with Mexico, which stipulated that they developed an ID system, that we could trust and verify independently, that reliably showed that the person wasn’t a convicted felon, that the person was vaccinated against certain diseases, etc., then they could just go back and forth across the border at a checkpoint simply by showing this ID. That way, the only people sneaking through the desert and across the border at night would people who can’t pass an ID check, and that would make our existing border security infrastructure much more effective at keeping bad people out.

    However, it should be noted that a system where Mexican citizens could come back and forth across the border by showing this ID–and letting us verify that they aren’t convicted felons, etc.–is predicated on the ability to keep out the people we reject for being threats. And that’s where the wall comes in.

    Whether you want to police it by drone, robot, national guard, or really build a physical wall, doesn’t really make any difference to the point at hand, and the point is that in order to have an open border (where people can cross by simply showing an ID), there has to be a means to keep out the people we reject. In other words, open borders and a border wall aren’t mutually exclusive alternatives. In order for us to have open borders, we need to ensure that our border is secure against those we reject.

    As this guy who has been deported 20 times since 2008 shows, our closed border policy isn’t keeping bad people out.

    As this guy who goes around raping old ladies shows, some people need to be kept out of the country.

    1. The legislation I propose is to require everyone to own a firearm.

      1. Vhyrus

        Do you have a newsletter?

    2. Vhyrus

      Your solution assumes that such an ID system would not be immediately corrupted and sold out to the highest bidders (e.g: the cartels) for their own personal gain, an assumption I am not comfortable supporting.

      1. Ken Shultz

        This solution requires the Mexican government to step up to the plate, that’s for certain.

        Our present system is riddled with corruption by the cartels, too. We would need to be able to independently verify their databases.

        And I hope the larger point is getting across, which is that our present system is a complete failure at keeping the bad guys out.

        Part of the reason why the bad guys have such an easy time of it is because they can hide among the sea of illegal who are just coming just for work. If our present system can’t keep out a convicted felon out who’s been deported 20 times in eight years, then letting people cross checkpoints legally without a visa–even if that system does suffer from some corruption–should be better than what we have now.

        The only people sneaking through those god forsaken deserts in the middle of the night are the guys who can’t pass an ID check.

        As it is now, we’re not keeping out any bad guys out who want to come here.

        1. Ken Shultz

          As it is now, we can’t even keep people out who’ve been convicted of felonies in our own justice system.

        2. Vhyrus

          The other assumption you make is that our current system is intended to keep bad guys out, which I also don’t see a whole lot of evidence supporting.

          1. Ken Shultz

            I think the idea that keeping rapists and burglars and gang members, etc. out of the country through closed borders is buried deep in people’s minds in the same place as the idea that keeping marijuana illegal means people won’t smoke it.

            But it’s there.

            But no, keeping marijuana illegal doesn’t mean people won’t smoke it, and keeping the border closed doesn’t mean keeping out the bad guys.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    This isn’t my first computer to be less than stable with Ubuntu. It used to be rock solid!

    Blame it on the Russians.

  33. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda, Minnesoda libertarians get busted for the strangest things.

    FBI goes wild with search warrants on local “domestic terror” group. Strangely they are not Somali, but some kooks in the southern part of the state.

    But Eric Dahlen, a Twin Cities man who describes himself as a libertarian political activist, says being a “3 percenter” is a lifestyle choice.

    “It’s people willing to stand up for rights in general and not back down from tyrannical government,” he said.

    1. KibbledKristen

      Fuckin-a, man. Sooner or later, just saying the word “Constitution” will be punishable by death.

      1. Vhyrus

        I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I recently had to apply for a top secret clearance for my job. They specifically ask you if you have ever been a member of a militia, and it is lumped in along with the ‘have you ever knowingly committed acts of terror’ questions.

        There is also a guy with a 3% sticker on his car that works here. I larfed when I saw it.

      2. Unreconstructed

        There is, apparently, a theme running around law enforcement circles about people calling themselves “Constitutionalists” and being hated by the cops. I found this out from a FB acquaintance who’s married to a cop, and shares many of their memes.

        1. Somalian Road Corporation

          Considering that the police seem to be almost exclusively interested in revenue generation and have generally reacted thus when it comes to actual crimes in my experience, that Constitution thing usually just gets in the way.

        2. Fatty Bolger

          Huh, never heard of that one, except as another term for “gun nut.” You know, somebody who keeps a gun with them at all times. The horror!

          There has been a general law enforcement freakout over the so-called “sovereign citizen” movement. Urban dictionary actually sums it up pretty well:

          Sovereign Citizen
          A term coined by bureaucrats, law enforcement, corrupt courts to discount claims that destroy there agenda of corruption and extortion. They love to spread this term when its used to constitutionally challenge authority, and government. Despite a very small number of violent people, violence is much more likely used in the current system of authority by law figures.

  34. Playa Manhattan

    What in the fuck was Wasserman thinking? She should have shut her operation down as soon as it received media attention, but no, she just kept right on going.

    1. It was a test of her political intelligence. A Wasserman test.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Did the think she was Hillary Clinton?

      2. She does not enjoy cognitive privilege.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      I’m sure she felt that she could go on CNN and explain everything away. What with her good looks, who is going to keep pressing her to explain what happened?

  35. Garry Kasparov‏Verified account @Kasparov63
    Garry Kasparov Retweeted Sharlene Santana

    Horrible. A standard closing phase of Socialism, where at last everyone is equal at the point of a soldier’s gun.

    Whatever you do – don’t read the “It’s not real Socialism” comments

    1. oops – forgot the link

      1 Micha‏ @kaehvogel 20h20 hours ago
      Please don’t just call it “Socialism”. That’s all these idiots in the US want to hear. Everything “social” leads to this, in their opinion.

      Shannon_Gonzalez‏ @MsG_history_SHS 20h20 hours ago
      Right. I don’t remember people having guns at them in Norway or Denmark. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about

      Micha‏ @kaehvogel 20h20 hours ago
      I’d say he knows quite well what he’s talking about. But “Socialism” is the wrong word to describe this to his audience and most Americans.

      Shannon_Gonzalez‏ @MsG_history_SHS 20h20 hours ago
      I agree it’s the wrong word. Venezuela is something else. Non-functioning due to extreme populism.

      Corey Picaro‏ @coreypicaro 14h14 hours ago
      The whole reason they’re in this situation is from oil companies corrupting their government for the last three decades.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Socialism works perfectly in all my models!

        1. F. Stupidity Jr.

          If it fails, it’s not True Socialism.

      2. “The whole reason they’re in this situation is from oil companies corrupting their government for the last three decades.”

        I wonder how they’d react if they heard that John “Scopes Trial” Scopes once worked for an oil company in Venezuela.

        1. KibbledKristen

          I was reading Tumblr a while back, and I follow a Venezuelan chick on there. She was posting updates about the situation. Some Tumblrina fuckface replied that he was sorry America was causing all these problems in the otherwise wonderful socialist paradise of Venezuela. Venezuelan chick told him right the fuck off, and she’s a pretty strong progressive for what I can glean (nevermind the cognitive dissonance between being a progressive and thinking the Venezuelan government sucks)

          1. Vhyrus

            If you want to piss a Venezuelan right off, say anything nice about the current government.

          2. bacon-magic

            Tell them you have food and toilet paper too.

          3. Juvenile Bluster

            I’ve said it before, but here in South Florida, there’s a ton of Venezuelan ex-pats, including a fairly large community near where I live. The other week there was a pretty good sized protest in front of a gated community where a man who was one of Maduro’s confidantes lives (the same one that got heckled in the latin bakery).

            I dare any one of these assholes to sit down with some of the older Venezuelan ex-pats and say this to their faces. The result would probably be hilarious. I mean, until the paramedics had to show up.

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            I had an unusual conversation with a Venezuelan coworker once. Somehow or another the topic of conversation turned to guns and in his opinion the AR-15 is an outdated design, which isn’t that unusual. I asked him of course, how he has so much experience with guns given that he immigrated only a year prior and I was under the impression the average Venezuelan couldn’t own a firearm. His response?

            “Oh, my father is a provincial police chief, he has all sorts of stuff stashed away.”

      3. KibbledKristen

        WHat should we call this? Progsplaining? Because they’re seriously trying to teach Garry Motherfucking Kasparov about socialism. Fucking hell.

      4. Juvenile Bluster

        The whole reason they’re in this situation is from oil companies corrupting their government for the last three decades.

        The Venezuelan oil industry was nationalized in 1976. PDVSA has been the dominant oil company in Venezuela ever since. It’s part of the state itself.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          Though he’s right, PDVSA is fucking corrupt (via wiki)

          In 2006, Rafael Ramírez, the energy minister, gave PDVSA workers a choice: Support President Hugo Chávez, or lose their jobs. The minister also said: “PDVSA is red [the color identified with Chávez’s political party], red from top to bottom”. Chávez defended Ramírez, saying that public workers should back the “revolution”. He added that “PDVSA’s workers are with this revolution, and those who aren’t should go somewhere else. Go to Miami”.

          PDVSA continues to hire only supporters of the president, and PDVSA revenue is used to fund political projects.

      5. Somalian Road Corporation

        At the 1939 World’s Fair, the Soviets had a banner proudly proclaiming that in one country, socialism had already been achieved. I remember around 10-15 years ago personally hearing from Western leftists that it had also been achieved in Venezuela. (Those same Western leftists told me to ignore the actual Venezuelans that insisted that things weren’t all sunshine and roses, because the fact that they could communicate in English at all meant they were bourgeois traitors.)

        1. Fatty Bolger

          “These days, the American dream is more apt to be realized in South America, in places such as Ecuador, Venezuela and Argentina, where incomes are actually more equal today than they are in the land of Horatio Alger.” – Bernie Sanders in 2011

          1. Brochettaward

            It’s pretty fucking pathetic that Horatio Alger represents the champion of the American dream to anyone in 2011.

      6. kbolino

        Right. It’s not socialism. It’s Marxism. Totally different.

        1. The only places that have “real” socialism are the Scandanavian countries. Of course, they are really capitalist countries with generous welfare programs, but they are how socialism is done right.

          1. Tulip

            And when you actually explain many of their policies, like mandatory retirement, progs are horrified.

            Past experience as a college prof.

    2. KibbledKristen

      Whatever you do – don’t read the “It’s not real Socialism” comments

      Yeah, because Garry has no personal experience with socialism.

  36. Pope Jimbo

    No way this story is being spun!

    “MN’s individual market insurance premiums could go down — if feds help”

    After jumping more than 50%, Minnesoda passed a program to pay $271M/year to pay off high medical costs for people in the individual market. In return the insurance companies will pass those “savings” back to us by freezing (or maybe lowering premiums). For some reason, this will only be allowed if Washington DC approves it.

    This single story shows why health insurance is so fucked in this country.

  37. Juvenile Bluster

    Breaking News from CNN: Biological woman gives birth. I mean, congratulations and all, but why is this news?

    Also, how dare they assume the gender of the child.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/31/health/trans-man-pregnancy-dad-trnd/

    1. Vhyrus

      Is it possible to lose more respect for CNN? I swear to god they’re making an experiment out of it.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        They seem to find a shovel every time they hit rock bottom, so yes.

    2. Vhyrus

      Also, back when I was in high school I remember one particularly biting insult where a kid told another kid ‘you’re what happens when two guys fuck and one get’s pregnant.’ Now it’s a news story.

    3. Napoleon Bonaparte will celebrate his 248th birthday on August 15.

      “I’m so excited, said the Emperor, who recently corrected his birth certificate to change his name from Bob Brown and to change his year of birth from 1967 to 1769. “I never thought I’d live this long, what with the British and the Allies wanting me dead.”

      “This is a real scientific breakthrough, said the Trans-Emperors’ Rights Association in a press release. “We are expanding the frontiers of tolerance and human longevity.”

      The staff at the Sunnyvale Institute for the Insane will help the Emperor celebrate his birthday by taking him on a closely-supervised trip to Waterloo water park.

      1. Winston

        Why doesn’t Hillary just self-identify a the winner?

      2. Winston

        Emperor Norton did self-identify as an emperor.

      3. Raven Nation

        Fun (probable) fact: Napoleon’s penis is in New Jersey:

        https://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/napoleons-severed-penis-its-in-new-jersey/

        1. I will consult the
          Washington Post on this subject.

          Conclusion: “Forensic analysis conducted on the specimen confirms that it is a penis, though it’s still not certain it was a part of a Bonaparte.”

          1. Remember – 3 out of 4 analytical programs certify glibertarians as family-friendly, the other program doesn’t have enough information.

          2. Raven Nation

            The mortician also reported Napoleon only had one testicle.

          3. Winston

            So who fathered the L’Eglet?

    4. Brochettaward

      This from the same ilk of journalist who refused to cover Kermit Gosnell because it was “local,” or the DWS IT tech scandal.

      They don’t even explain why this shit is supposed to be noteworthy.

      1. Not an Economist

        They are the one that decide what is news … and what isn’t.

  38. Pan Zagloba

    Taiwanese Animated News meme game is on point in Trump makes US Military’s LGBTQ. LGBQ.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Girl you may be a boy but you’re an LGB-QT.

      1. Does Swiss no longer post here?

  39. hayeksplosives

    The Mr Hayeksplosives had outpatient surgery today, and I had to be his “responsible adult.” The best part was that they made him take two oxycodones and a Valium half an hour prior to surgery. A good time was had by all. Apparently, he remained pretty conscious throughout and kept the surgery team laughing. The surgeon had to make him stop telling jokes so on occasion so he wouldn’t slip.

    All is well and we are home now. I would like to get him on oxy and valium with a video cam nearby next time…

    1. KibbledKristen

      After my last oral surgery, I was convinced I was Angelina Jolie because my lips felt huge. Thems was some amazing drugs (Vistaril & Valium pre-surgery, Vicodin after)

      1. hayeksplosives

        A winning combination! But you are too smart to be Angelina.

    2. F. Stupidity Jr.

      For the good of society, we’re going to have to seize that medication on the grounds that it might lead to addiction and abuse. Your husband is free to take any number of non-habit forming medications available on the market, and we recommend plenty of bed rest in order to help manage the pain.

      It’s for the greater good, of course. Wouldn’t want to add to the opioid epidemic, now would you?

      1. hayeksplosives

        Yeah, it’s pretty effed up. I get a bottle of 40 vicodin a year and use it only when my pain is unbearable. I think fewer than one pill per week is pretty indicative of a non-addicted patient, but my doc still has to fill out paperwork and use a special electronic token to write the script. It’s really stupid. “How do we stop illegal abuse of opiods?? I know! Let’s make their legal use more difficult! Yay!”

        They did give the hubs 30 vicodin to take home, so he’s probably on some list by now.

  40. KibbledKristen

    So I started this company, hired a bunch of people, and we lost money from the get-go and ended up going out of business within a year. But I never fired anyone, so I’m the bestest business person the country has ever seen!

    https://twitter.com/AdamParkhomenko/status/892096669021597696

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      If the republicans had lost two elections in 16 years because of the EC, if would be nonexistent now. WHY ARE WE ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?

      They can’t even vote to repeal the ACA, you know that thing they spent the last 8 years explicitly campaigning against. But amending the Constitution is something they’ll agree to.

      1. Vhyrus

        Somebody better get some analgesic up in here cause these fever dreams are spreading.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      selfsuck prodigy‏ @relatableregret 35m35 minutes ago

      who’s job was it to persuade them to make the right one?
      2 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      Jim in virginia‏ @jiminvirginia 34m34 minutes ago

      We must find a better electorate.
      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes

      Brecht lives!

    3. KibbledKristen

      Even Matty Y weighs in

      Matthew Yglesias ✔ @mattyglesias
      In retrospect maybe a little bit more staff turnover could have helped avoid the whole “lost the election” part of the story.

    4. Fatty Bolger

      Aw, that Hillary, she’s such a sweetie. Some people are just too nice to be President, you know?

      1. Brochettaward

        Didn’t her former boss/mentor who followed her to the White House kill himself because she berated him so much?

  41. KibbledKristen

    This is a poor business decision. Really idiotic.

    This is the landmark sign in question. It’s an institution. Like, you’d say to your friends “I’ll meet you by the Uptown” or “Remember that one bar by the Uptown?”

    1. Wait, what’s going on?

      1. KibbledKristen

        It’s not evident from the first link?

        1. I can’t read all the tiny writing on my phone.
          Is AMC theater doing this voluntarily, or has an ordinance been passed requiring them to change the sign?

          1. KibbledKristen

            AMC is requesting to remove the Uptown sign and replace it with an AMC sign. I wouldn’t mind if they added a little “AMC” to the sign, but why the FUCK would they remove that sign, which is a highly recognizable symbol? From a branding perspective, it’s a really stupid move.

          2. I refuse to go to that theater if they change the sign, then

    2. Fatty Bolger

      Moronic. Can’t they just add an AMC sign without taking the old one down?

    3. KibbledKristen

      THe good thing is that Cleveland Park is full of hipsters and yuppies who will probably go to the mattresses on this.

      1. Florida Man

        Go o the mattress? I always thought it was go to the mat, like a wrestling mat or boxing ring mat.

        1. It’s from “The Godfather”.

        2. KibbledKristen
        3. KibbledKristen

          Here’s the heartwarming Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan to explain further

          1. “You’ve Got Mail” is the reason I saw “The Godfather”.

          2. Have you seen the Jimmy Stewart movie that YGM is a remake of?

          3. KibbledKristen

            No – didn’t even know it was a reboot!

          4. YGM is actually the second remake of,the original movie.

            The Shop Around the Corner

          5. Brochettaward
  42. Juvenile Bluster

    I’ve been reading the Spanish-language version of the Miami Herald (El Nuevo Herald). Thank you, Google Translate.

    Anyways, their Venezuela coverage has been better than any English-language source I’ve read.

    Luisa Ortega DIaz is the Chief Prosecutor of Venezuela. She’s been in that position for about a decade. She was at first a dedicated Chavista, but grew wary of Maduro, and was the highest ranking member of his government to publicly turn against him. To the point where Maduro has publicly said the first action of the new “Constituent Assembly” is going to be to take her out.

    Her reaction to yesterday’s vote? More or less gave Maduro a middle finger. Called it bullshit, said she’s not going anywhere, and said she’s going to work with the people to restore the 1999 Constitution pursuant to Section 333, which reads as follows:

    This Constitution shall not cease to be in effect. If it ceases to be observed due to acts of force or because or repeal in any manner other than as provided for herein, in such eventuality, every citizen, whether or not vested with official authority, has a duty to assist in bringing it back into actual effect.

    I expect her to either be the face of the opposition and a leader in whatever parallel government they (likely) form, or to be dead by the end of the week.

    1. Why can’t Maduro be dead by the end of the week?

      Dictators can be defeated. After all, Russell Crowe killed Caligula in the Thunderdome, right?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Sean Penn can stand in for Maduro. If I have to pick a famous Venezuelan for the trial by combat, go with Miguel Cabrera. He’s sufficiently pissed off at Maduro and would be able to kill Penn inside of 30 seconds.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Sell PPV and you’ve got yourself a deal.

      2. John Titor

        If you’re lucky you can end up with a Romania scenario, as Pan notes, where the military and public overwhelmingly challenge the dictator and his secret police and then execute a bunch of them.

        I’m not sure Venezuela’s military is willing to overthrow Maduro yet.

        1. Winston

          So Romania before 1989? Single party elections with 99% in favor and with 100% turnout?

        2. Brochettaward

          I’ve stopped following the bullshit there of late, but what exactly are people waiting for? Like it’s not already clear what a fucking failure he is and the majority hasn’t turned on him for good?

          1. John Titor

            Unarmed protesters keep getting killed, so there’s a clear message being sent of how nasty an open rebellion would be.

    2. Vhyrus

      We need an amendment like that. That is fucking awesome.

  43. Tulip

    OT But related to a conversation on a now dead thread (don’t you people work?!). Back in the 80s, my brother put himself through college working as a canoe guide for Charles Sommers Canoe Base in the Boundary Waters. Late,he ran the Boy Scout canoe base in Bissett Manitoba as well as the winter camping program out of Bissett. He also worked as a wild life photographers assistant.

    Any one remember Jack Pine Bob?

    1. Jack Pine Bob.

      Isn’t that one of those crazy dances from the 1950’s?

      1. Tulip

        No. More like the northern Minnesota version of Kinky Friedman. Ran for president in the 80s

      1. Can I get an edit fairy, please. Just delete this here comment, too.

      2. Raven Nation

        When Herman Cain was leading the R primary in 2016, a leftist talking head (maybe Rachel Maddow) declared that Republicans were supporting him to cover up the fact their racism.

        TBF: Zakaria starts off with a good point, but then he goes to standard leftist talking points. And, of course, energy on the right is “toxic,” energy on the left is righteous.

        I also think the jury is still out on who’s the better performer, Trump or Obama.

    1. KibbledKristen

      Ha! Beat you to it by 33 minutes!

      1. I hope that’s not a euphemism

  44. Derpetologist

    Today’s derp links, roughly in order from [face palm] to Weekend with the Pain Monster

    Jewish summer camp hit for flying Palestinian flag in ‘teachable moment’
    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/07/31/jewish-summer-camp-hit-for-flying-palestinian-flag-in-teachable-moment.html

    ***
    A popular Jewish summer camp in Washington state raised a Palestinian flag last week in what it called a “teachable moment,” angering campers, parents and other supporters of Israel.

    Camp Solomon Schechter in Olympia was forced to apologize after including a Palestinian flag as part of its daily flag-raising ceremony on Thursday and Friday while hosting a group of 14 children from the Israeli organization Kids4Peace. The group included Christian and Muslim Palestinian boys and girls from Jerusalem.

    The backlash came from Jews who said the Palestinian flag did not belong at a Jewish summer camp, according to reports.

    –– ADVERTISEMENT ––

    “Has your camp’s administration lost their mind recently with the flag incident?!??” Alex Ginzburg wrote, according to the Jerusalem Post.

    The camp, affiliated with the Conservative Movement, acknowledged the controversy in an email to parents.

    “For the sake of a teachable moment, we did raise the Palestinian flag as a sign of friendship and acceptance,” the email said. “It was met with uncertainty by some campers and staff, especially the Israeli’s [sic], but all understood that the message of hope for peace by flying the Israeli flag alongside helped develop empathy.”
    ***

    1. I’m sure that Solomon’s last name was Davidson, or Ben David, or something.

    2. Conservative Judaism isn’t necessarily conservative in the political sense; they try to straddle Reform and Orthodox Judaism.

      It can be a painful straddle.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        I grew up in a Conservative synagogue (moved to reform as an adult).

        Conservative Jews bend further left than right.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I really don’t know why he took so much shit. Alou wasn’t catching that ball, and if Alex Gonzalez had been able to field the easiest double play groundball in the history of baseball that doesn’t matter anyways.

  45. Derpetologist

    Indonesia: Muslim cleric says “One of the pleasures in heaven are sex parties”
    https://www.jihadwatch.org/2017/07/indonesia-muslim-cleric-says-one-of-the-pleasures-in-heaven-are-sex-parties

    ***
    An Indonesian celebrity Islamic cleric has come under fire for suggesting that Muslims are promised sex parties in heaven during a recent televised sermon.

    Syamsuddin Nur Makkah, better known by his celebrity moniker Ustadz Syam, appeared in an episode of an Islamic sermon program called ‘Islam Itu Indah’ (Islam is Beautiful) on local channel Trans TV on Saturday. A short clip from the episode went viral over the last couple of days because of the sexually charged nature of Ustadz Syam’s sermon.

    In the video, the 24-year-old Ustadz Syam says, “One of the pleasures in heaven are sex parties. Apologies, but this is why we have to withhold (sexual urges) in this world,” before going on to say that men have to work hard to withhold their sexual urges because women like to wear tank tops in the summer and, obviously, inside airplane cabins despite the cold.

    It seems this particular part of Ustadz Syam’s sermon did not go down with many Muslims in Indonesia, who took to social media to denounce what they considered to be a lewd sermon that was inappropriate for TV
    ***

    1. Vhyrus

      The Quran specifically mentions 72 virgins, specifically good looking large breasted virgins. What exactly are they there for, the fucking food?

      1. Derpetologist

        [pushes silent Islamophobia alarm]

          1. John Titor

            We’ve had that alarm go off twice today, the Glibertarians are clearly overstimulated.

      2. All right, question: does Islam teach that there will be procreation in heaven?

        1. Derpetologist

          opinion is divided, but the majority say no:
          https://islamqa.info/en/111777

          ***
          Praise be to Allah.

          Some of the scholars are of the view that if a person wishes to have a child in Paradise, Allah will fulfil that wish for him. They quoted as evidence for that the report narrated by at-Tirmidhi (2563) in his Sunan from Abu Sa‘eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If the believer wishes for a child in Paradise, the pregnancy, birth and growth will occur within an hour, as he wishes.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘, 6649

          What is meant is that the pregnancy will occur and the child will be born and will grow to the age of perfection, which is thirty years, as the person wishes, i.e., the child will be male or female and so on, in accordance with the person’s wishes.

          This is the view of many of the scholars.

          Some of the scholars said that in Paradise there will be intercourse but there will be no children. This view was narrated from Tawoos, Muhaajid and Ibraaheem an-Nakha‘i.

          Imam al-Bukhaari (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It was narrated from Abu Razeen al-‘Uqayli that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The people of Paradise will not have children there.”

          The hadeeth referred to by al-Bukhaari was narrated by Imam Ahmad (15773) from Abu Razeen al-‘Uqayli (may Allah be pleased with him) in a lengthy hadeeth in which it says “The righteous women will be for the righteous man, you will enjoy them as you enjoyed them in this world, and they will enjoy you, but you will not produce children.”

          Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It has the dignity and light of Prophethood which suggests that it is saheeh. However it was classed as da‘eef by al-Albaani in Zalaal al-Jannah, and Shu‘ayb al-Arna’oot said: Its isnaad is da‘eef and is a series of unknown narrators.

          The hadeeth clearly states that there will be no childbirth, but there is a difference of opinion as to its soundness.
          ***

          1. John Titor

            This entire field seems like a very productive use of one’s time.

          2. Derpetologist

            In many Muslim countries, the top students go to med school and the dingdongs become imams.

            This would be a clue to sane people.

      3. 72 gay bears with moobs?

      4. mexican sharpshooter

        I recall the instructor for the Islamic culture breifing explaining that 72 is just a big number. Its like promising you, “1000 strippers,” next time we go to Vegas.

        We’re talking eternity here, there’s more than 72.

        1. Vhyrus

          I could devirginize 72 women in a month… less if there are no video games.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            Thats around 2 or so a day. Seems kind of low especially if one does not need sleep in eternal paradise.

          2. Brochettaward

            I think the point is that they physically can’t be deflowered. They are permanently flowered or it regrows or some shit.

  46. Derpetologist

    Oregon district to drop ‘Lynch’ from school names due to ‘racial implications’
    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/35062/

    ***
    Remember two and a half years ago when students at a small Pennsylvania college demanded the name “Lynch” be removed from a campus building … because of its racial connotations?

    Those students’ efforts proved successful; however, their inanity has spread some 3,000 miles west as an Oregon school district is following their example.

    The Centennial School District in southeast Portland will be excising “Lynch” from three schools before the beginning of this school year: Lynch Meadows, Lynch Wood, and Lynch View elementary schools.

    According to The Oregonian, the schools were named for the family which originally had donated land for the schools over a century ago, but Superintendent Paul Coakley says “many newer families coming into the district associate the name with America’s violent racial history.”

    “There were an increasing amount of questions and some complaints from families of color around the name,” Coakley said. Although “there is no connection between the Lynch family and the practice associated with the term,” he said the name has still “been a disruption for some students.”
    ***

    1. Winston

      Time to ban anything made by David Lynch.

          1. quincy

            Ernesto Guevara De La Serna y Lynch

            Che was Irish?

        1. Vhyrus

          It’s a regular Lynch mob up in here.

    2. Grumbletarian

      According to The Oregonian, the schools were named for the family which originally had donated land for the schools over a century ago, but Superintendent Paul Coakley says “many newer families coming into the district associate the name with America’s violent racial history.”

      “And we’d rather engage in some good old social signalling than teach new residents about local history.”

      1. We should start referring to violent acts as “Obama-ing” someone.

    3. NOT a Naked Intruder

      “many newer families coming into the district associate the name with America’s violent racial history.”

      Ah…I see they’re getting the cream of the crop up Portland way.

      /thinks about…ducks and runs

  47. Derpetologist

    Student government diversity chief: ‘Trump supporters not welcome on campus’
    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/35047/

    ***
    The newly appointed diversity chair of the University of Central Florida Student Government Association has stated that those who support President Trump are not welcome on campus.

    Which, of course, further proves the point that academic “diversity” never includes that of political viewpoint.

    UCF student Grayson Lanza had made that comment on Facebook a week before last year’s presidential election. He also made an appearance at a December pro-Trump rally complete with a sign which read “No Trump, No KKK, No Fascist USA.”

    According to Red Alert Politics, Trump-supporting student Daniel Hanna related an encounter he had with Lanza:

    “When we started debating politics, I eventually said ‘you know the great thing about this country is we can both differ regarding political views but we can openly discuss it… Then I offered him a handshake.’ He said ‘I’m not shaking your hand, I do not tolerate you and you are not welcome here.’”
    ***

    Well, at least he’s honest…

    1. The more PC they are, diverse it gets…

    2. Grumbletarian

      Diversity only refers to skin color and non-original genitalia.

  48. Derpetologist

    Evergreen College pledges to train students not to discriminate against white people
    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/35031/

    ***
    After a white Evergreen State College student filed a formal complaint citing claims of “racially driven violence and harassment” from peers of color, a campus official has pledged that future training topics for student leaders will include preventing bias based on race.

    The complaint had been filed by student Steve Coffman*, a junior and history major at the embattled university, who stated that at a heated campus meeting in late May organized by students who claimed the campus is racist and attended by President George Bridges, Coffman was told to get out of the seat he was sitting in and move to the back of the room because he is white.

    “I entered about 20 minutes before the meeting started and sat in one of the numerous provided chairs in the room. Subsequently I was approached twice about being a ‘white person’ sitting in chairs that were ‘reserved for people of color,’” Coffman stated in the emailed complaint, a copy of which was obtained by The College Fix.
    ***

    1. commodious spittoon

      Evergreen College, one hopes, is looking at enrollment shortfalls a la Mizzou.

    2. Coffman was told to get out of the seat he was sitting in and move to the back of the room because he is white.

      At that point, I leave the room, and probably the college.

      I am telling my kids to not go to college until they have been in the workforce a while and figure out what they want to do.

      I enjoyed college, but it ruined me.

      1. Akira

        I am telling my kids to not go to college until they have been in the workforce a while and figure out what they want to do.

        I went straight to factory work after high school and spent 8½ years there before I took any college classes. I’ve often considered it a failure in my life, but I think it may have been for the best in some ways. In addition to earning top-out pay and building up a huge 401(k), I learned some valuable lessons that a lot of people my age haven’t learned yet:
        – Your employer wants you to work. They don’t really give a shit if you like the job or not.
        – Make your skills valuable, or else you’ll get treated like a replaceable drone.
        – Going to work fucking sucks a lot of the time, but you have to pay your damn bills, so either suck it up or move back in with your parents.

        1. Akira

          Forgot to add:

          If I had gone to college right out of high school, I probably would have gotten a worthless degree and ended up serving lattes to all the plumbers, electricians, and welders.

          1. Derpetologist

            Sometimes bad luck saves you from worse luck. If I hadn’t been fired from the plastic bag factory, I probably wouldn’t be in the army.

            I would also be fat and miserable.

          2. commodious spittoon

            Is plastic bag factory what you call whatever drudgery you were doing before, or did you literally make plastic bags?

          3. Derpetologist

            I literally was a process engineer in a plastic bag factory. They make plastic food packaging. Fun fact: the company has a near monopoly on the plastic packaging for turkeys. They also make the clear film for ground beef containers.

            Before that, I worked as a process engineer in a factory for bubble wrap and styrofoam packing peanuts.
            That job was so boring I gave serious thought to joining the French Foreign Legion or retiring to the forest to live as a hermit.

          4. That’s what I want my sons to,do: get an electrician’s license or plumber’s license. Learn how to repair cars, even. Get some marketable skills.

            A liberal arts degree supposedly trains the student how to properly do research, a skill which has limited market value.

          5. Akira

            Liberal arts are immensely useful if studied as preparation for some other discipline. One of the most influential books for me was The Trivium: The Liberal Arts of Logic, Grammar, and Rhetoric.

            But yea, a liberal arts degree is pretty much worthless on its own.

          6. Tulip

            I spent a few years working for a construction company as a field office manager. Good times. The company switched from paying on Wednesday to Friday. Then when the guys blew their paychecks they showed up on Monday. When they paid Wednesday, they wouldn’t show until Monday anyway. but Friday pay, broke and back to work Monday.

          7. commodious spittoon

            I learned framing and drywall. It served me well in realizing my dream to not do framing and drywall my entire life.

            And given the plumbers and electricians I’ve known… yikes. I’m certain there are terrific, well-rounded, self-satisfied, family-oriented tradesmen out there, but the lunatics and goons I’ve known growing up in this business… yikes. Maybe residential construction is different, but commercial attracts a lot of bottom-dwelling, nine-AM-beer-slamming, substance-abusing, wife-beating shitheads.

          8. commodious spittoon

            And either willful idiots or complacently self-destructive long-game suicide cases. We had a plumber for the longest time who in addition to all the PVC adhesives he used would melt lead in a little crucible to connect certain lines. No mask, no ventilator, not outside, not while he took a walk so it could melt. He may as well have huffed the stuff. Ended up with Alzheimer’s, living with his daughter. Maniac.

          9. Hyperion

            I started working for my grandfather’s construction company, summers when I was 12. Residential, building subdivisions around the country. Drywallers have always been a weird bunch. I mean, that is a shit fucking job. Framers however, I don’t recall them them ever being a bunch of trailer park boys. They generally made good money and seemed stable to me.

          10. commodious spittoon

            Framing isn’t a bad job as far as specialties go. I do both because it’s a small company, but we have guys who come in for the bigger jobs. And mudders. I hate mudding. Hate hate hate it.

          11. Akira

            Oh yea, my neighbor runs a pretty successful plumbing business, but he’s a nut. I can hear him yelling at his wife from time to time. One time they pulled up to their parking spot on the street, and he threw what looked like a bag full of fast food out the window into their yard, then as they both got out of the truck, he started bellowing, “you got it all wrong, you whore! You got it all wrong, you fuckin’ whore!” and repeated it nonstop as he waddled up to the house (he’s morbidly obese).

        2. LT_Fish

          If I had gone straight into the military after high school instead of bumming around in college trying to figure out what I wanted to do – before enlisting….I’d potentially be getting ready to retire next year.

          At any rate, I would have been more squared away with a better work ethic when I did decide to get a degree.

  49. Derpetologist

    Democrats must strike now on health care: Medicaid buy-in is the answer
    Allowing people to buy into Medicaid can satisfy single-payer fans and many conservatives. Most of all, it’s easy
    Amanda Marcotte
    http://www.salon.com/2017/07/31/democrats-must-strike-now-on-health-care-medicaid-buy-in-is-the-answer/

    ***
    We can only hope the collapse of the “skinny repeal” bill last week marks the end of Republican efforts to destroy Barack Obama’s legacy by dismantling a health care system that has drastically improved both access and the level of service for Americans. After all that tension and misery, it’s perfectly understandable if people on both sides of the political aisle decide they never want to talk about health care policy again, at least for a decade, if they can help it.

    Unfortunately, this is issue isn’t going away any time soon. While the Affordable Care Act cut the uninsured rate nearly in half and drastically reduced the growth of health care costs, the law simply doesn’t go far enough. Because of the concessions made to more conservative members of Congress to pass the law in the first place — and because the Supreme Court gutted the Medicaid expansion — the bill hasn’t improved health care access as much as it was intended to.

    The first problem is that health insurance still costs too much. The second and perhaps more troubling problem is that in some less densely populated parts of the country insurers are pulling out of the Obamacare exchanges, leaving consumers with few options and turning the supposed marketplace competition into a joke. Meanwhile, President Donald Trump has repeatedly promised to destroy Obamacare through mismanagement.

    Democrats need to be ready, if they take back Congress in 2018, to step forward with a plan. And it has to be something bolder than the nipping-around-the-edges we’ve been hearing from the Democratic caucus. I think the best way to go is to propose a Medicaid buy-in plan, much like the one that was proposed in Nevada but vetoed by the state’s Republican governor.

    While I share the dream of ripping out our health insurance system by its root and replacing it with a single payer system — or better yet, a national health system like the one in the U.K. — single-payer advocates ought to agree that Medicaid buy-in is a more politically feasible route. The idea is that people shopping on the insurance market, either as individuals or employers buying company policies, would be able to buy plans from Medicaid instead of private insurers. If done correctly, Medicaid could offer standardized, transparent coverage plans at prices that are more attractive than what private insurers can generally offer.

    ….

    A buy-in system, I suspect, would also satisfy a lot of conservative voters. Republican politicians and pundits hate the idea, of course, because they have elaborate theories about the glories of capitalism and their funding comes from private enterprises that want to keep health care as a profit-making industry. But honestly, most conservative base voters are less interested in defending capitalism than they are in the idea that people shouldn’t get a “handout” and should earn their keep. Medicaid buy-in satisfies that objection, because it would still require paying premiums. The best part is the word “buy” is in the name, making it hard for conservative pundits to claim it’s a handout.

    Insurance companies fear competition from the public option, which is all the more reason for progressives to get excited about this. Joe Lieberman is long gone from the Senate, and good riddance. It’s time for Democrats to try again, as soon as they amass the power that Trump’s relentless antics will hopefully restore to them through a few election cycles.
    ***

    1. Vhyrus

      The fact that Amanda Marcotte surely makes more money than I do is a constant drain on my self esteem.

      1. Derpetologist

        I remember the first time I read Marcotte like it was yesterday:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnFqERT6nJQ

      2. AlmightyJB

        “The fact that Amanda Marcotte surely makes more money than I do is a constant drain on my self esteem.”

        Truth. I mean if she were attractive and had nice breast, I would say suck it up cause that’s just life. But yeah, how on the hell life rewards her is just sad.

    2. Raven Nation

      In some ways, I feel sorry for her. She has made it this far in life as an absolute moron while being told by many folks how brilliant she is. It’s very, very sad.

      1. Akira

        Sometimes I fantasize about starting a career as some kind of “progressive” dingbat blogger. There’s got to be a way to monetize that. But alas, I have this stupid thing called integrity.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      Sorry. I stopped reading at Marcotte.

      1. Vhyrus

        I got to the line that said ” While the Affordable Care Act cut the uninsured rate nearly in half and drastically reduced the growth of health care costs,…” then I had to forcefully restrain myself from punching something.

      2. Derpetologist

        SILENCE, MORTAL! I WILL TEACH YOU THE MEANING OF TRUE SUFFERING!

        DERP IS THE ONLY REALITY!

        I AM DERP-RAISER!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVZQgik-0jg

        1. Derpfinger, he’s the man
          The man with the moron touch,
          A spider’s touch….

          1. “Who are you?”

            “Grabmey Pussy”

            “I must be dreaming.”

          2. pan fried wylie

            Ghrabmai P’ussi

            Do you even Bond, bro?

          3. I’ll admit, yours is better.

    4. Hyperion

      “Amanda Marcotte”

      That’s all I need to read.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Poor man’s Jessica Valenti… a tragic case of mediocrity.

    5. Brochettaward

      People who pay for shit actually expect to get something in return. Be careful what you wish for…

      1. Akira

        I went to a family dinner yesterday; most of my family members are either hardcore “progressive” or politically ambivalent other than a desire to have more shit for free. For a good several minutes, they were just moaning and groaning about having to pay for health insurance. There were two things I wanted to blurt out:

        – “Oh lordy, you have to pay for the goods and services you consume! What an injustice!”

        – “I thought Obama and the Democrats promised that this was the magic solution that would make health insurance (because that’s the same as actual provision of care) super cheap for everyone except those evil rich people! Why are you all still complaining about health insurance? Didn’t Obama fix it like he said he would?”

    6. RAHeinlein

      Simple Question: What is the Medicaid deductible?

      Freeloaders and Thieves.

  50. hayeksplosives

    I was reading the AM links earlier while I awaited my husband’s surgery to complete, and I was intrigued by the private employer’s parking lot vs employee’s 2nd amendment rights. Lots of great discussion about voluntary contracts etc.

    It occured to me that as a defense contractor I have voluntarily given up many, many of my rights, but it’s still worth it to me. I have to submit to drug tests, random interviews with NCIS, have to take oaths while I testify about my life and private details. I assume my provate email is monitored and probably so are my phone calls. I can look the investigators in the eye and truthfully say I’ve never used drugs illegally. I’m sure it’s not the life for everyone, but you just have to weigh the choices and make your own decision.

    So I entered into my contract with eyes wide open. I just hope that such rules don’t become the default for non-Nat’l security type of jobs. Keep the employers competing for your talents!

    And keep your stick on the ice.

    1. random interviews with NCIS,

      You like getting whipped by Mark Harmon, don’t you?

      [this is why there are no female libertarians….]

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I could go for an ass kicking from (((Agent David))).

      2. hayeksplosives

        Hah! No, so far that has not happened.

        But it is a little odd that once they get through some pleasantries and weather chit-chat, they ask if you mind being under oath, and you have to raise your right hand and all that. Fortuntately, I live a fairly boring life, so I don’t have to get nervous or anything. It’s just weird.

    2. Hyperion

      I’ve heard about what some defense contractors make. I live in Baltimore and know plenty of people in DC and NOVA. So can’t blame you for going down that road. But you do know you’re on ‘the list’ now, right?

      1. hayeksplosives

        Yeah, I do. I even got one of those Protonmail thingys, and I’m pretty sure that puts me on “the list” too. The only thing that worries me a little is that I love to read about spycraft, especially the little technical gadgets that the Soviets and the US used against each other in the cold war. Fascinating stuff! But does my Amazon reading list look weird that I like to read that stuff? I hope not.

        By the way, if you are ever in Laurel MD, I highly recommend the Cryptological Museum near the NSA. THey have a bunch of working Enigma machines, and touching is very much encouraged! Great little place.

        1. Hyperion

          “if you are ever in Laurel MD, I highly recommend the Cryptological Museum near the NSA.”

          Thanks for the tip! I love stuff like that. Haven’t been over near Laurel since I lived in Howard County. I get your love about the spycraft and the tech stuff. My dream job is being a homicide detective, but I can’t make near what I make as an IT solutions guy and I know you aren’t going to make defense contractor bucks as a spy. And also, someone might try to kill you or you could get arrested by a foreign government with no regards to human rights, so that’s a minus.

          1. hayeksplosives

            One of the tales I read about was that soon after WWII, when the US was pretty naive about spycraft, the US ambassador in Moscow was presented with a large wood carved Great Seal of the US by a bunch of Russian school girls. He accepted it graciously and had it hung on the wall behind his desk. It contained one of the earliest “bugs”, a crude but effective wireless device that allowed the Russians to snoop on our top guy.

            When I saw it at the Crypto museum, I recognized it instantly and had to go have a look! It’s actually a resin cast of the original, but looks just like the one in the book. It’s mounted on a hinge so you can turn it around and see the little bug device. Great presentation of everything in that museum, including cypher books from the 1600s and similar stuff.

          2. Gray Ghost

            My dream job is being a homicide detective

            I do not know any homicide detectives, though I do know plenty of cops, criminal lawyers, and crime scene techs. AIUI, from talking to them, it’s a sad, frustrating job, as is much of law enforcement/criminal justice, should you lower the callous self-protection field. Nowhere near as interesting as The Wire, Homicide: Life on the Street, or The First 48 would have you think.

            But if it’s your dream…

            FWIW, and I will probably never get the answer to this hypo, the author Tom Clancy put forth the idea that the best spies/case officers were former street cops: they were used to running informants and they were used to sifting through bullshit from people constantly lying to them. Contra the AIUI, usual CIA practice, reinforced through (probable disinformation, but still) memoirs like, Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Spy where they hire Ivy Leaguers with some language skills, yet are too dumb to make it on Wall Street. I wonder what actually happens?

        2. Ken Shultz

          Incidentally, I grew up in Laurel–or just outside of it.

          I understand it’s changed dramatically since I was a kid. When I was a kid, it was mostly forest.

          1. Hyperion

            It still is, as is most of Maryland, just added commies.

        3. Gray Ghost

          The only thing that worries me a little is that I love to read about spycraft, especially the little technical gadgets that the Soviets and the US used against each other in the cold war.

          Have you read, Spycraft: The Secret History of the CIA’s Spytechs, from Communism to Al-Qaeda? Neat history of OTS and other science guys at the CIA.

          Lot of war stories from the 60s and 70s—guys opening manholes in Moscow suburbs to place bugs, etc… Of course, James Bamford’s two books that I’ve read on the NSA (The Puzzle Palace and Body of Secrets) are interesting in that vein too.

          I had a relation who was a contractor for aerospace. Rode the Janet planes, near as he’d admit. He, “worked at Work,” as we termed it, and as a contractor for Hughes when directly asked. Being a plane and mil. history junky, of course I asked, and of course he didn’t say anything more. Missed the SSBI questions that, I guess, my ex-wife and her relatives got to deal with when he got the job, but the creepiest part of our visit was during the impromptu block party in the Vegas summer that all of his neighbors in that little, non-descript, street in Henderson, worked with him.

          I tried to get on with the F-35 project in Fort Worth, doing contracting/compliance, ‘let’s use that law degree’ stuff to push paperwork under the FARs. Nothing. Bummer.

    3. AlmightyJB

      How did your husband’s surgery go Hayek? Hopefully well.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Thank you for asking. It went well! It went long, but he’s A-OK. Enjoying his Vicodin. They had to go in his left leg and fry some veins with faulty valves that were causing blood to pool (clot risk; no bueno). It took about 3 hours instead of the 1 they had predicted. But he is good to go now.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Good to hear. Gotta love the Vicodin. Hopefully a speedy recovery!

          1. Hyperion

            How the fuck can you guys take that shit? All of it will cause me to projectile vomit for hours. We need a law, why can’t congress do something?

        2. DEG

          That’s good news.

    4. KibbledKristen

      The irony is, that after all that investigation and testing, you’d be more trustworthy than the average Joe to carry at work.

      1. hayeksplosives

        No doubt, right??

        The real irony to me is that right after you push the door open that bears the “(Company Name) bans guns on these premises” sign, you are immediately faced by howitzers and 5 inch Navy cannons moving through the plant. Lolz.

        It is rather nice to work in a little oasis of 2nd A fans (and libertarian-hearted folk who might not yet know the term) amid the idiocy of a blue state.

  51. Vhyrus

    Can we deface the ‘family friendly’ logo by putting tophats on the people?

  52. Hyperion

    So, I’m pretty thick skinned, or so I think of myself that way. But sometimes enough is enough bullshit, if you know what I mean. So my wife’s sister, who I’ve always believed is just jealous of my wife in many ways, has finally completely lost her fucking mind. She’s always drinking too much and being belligerent, but that’s been going on for as long as I’ve known her. We always just think of her as someone who is fun and harmless, but you can’t be around her too much. There was the one night in Rio that I was sure she was going to get us all thrown in jail. But outside of that, I always thought of her as mostly harmless. But now I think the booze has fried her brain or her personal problems have just sent her over the top. She’s started attacking my wife on social media and being really nasty, and I’m to the point that I have to do something about it. My wife has broken down crying a couple of times, and even now that she just seems to be over it, I’m past sick of it. If she were here in the US (she lives in Europe) I would have already had a lawyer send her a warning letter. But I think I’m going to try to get her banned from FB, it’s a legit reason. I would rather wife just give up social media, but that’s a hard sell. Sorry to spill all this bullshit, I just got frustrated and this is a place I can rant. Am I overreacting here? I mean it’s not like your typical FB spat, it’s someone posting malicious bullshit while the other party is doing nothing. (this is why I hate social media).

    1. Playa Manhattan

      So uh…

      Is she hot?

      1. Vhyrus

        Getting one of us to fuck her would be a pretty fitting punishment, thats for sure.

        1. Hyperion

          Well, she’ll probably fuck you or anyone else if she’s drunk. She’s made plenty of passes at me and any other guy who’s within range. I’ll be feeling sorry for you.

        2. John Titor

          Especially with Vhyrus, the walking STI and biological warfare lab.

          This is an artist’s depiction of what happens to his mates.

          1. Vhyrus

            Come on, that only happened, like, twice.

          2. Akira

            >that feel when you eat the whole tub of creatine

      2. Hyperion

        No. She used to be before she became a raging alcoholic. She’s a fucking stupid cunt is what she is.

      3. mexican sharpshooter

        This is why Glibertarians is not a Dear Abby column.

        1. Hyperion

          *shoots top hat off mexican sharpshooter’s head*

          But, well, I knew someone was going to say that, and that’s ok.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            We have a new puppy in the house. The bitch chewed up my top hat over the weekend.

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            In all seriousness I wouldn’t be too concerned until it turns into actual violent acts. For right now it sounds like an idiot on the internet.

          3. Hyperion

            No, man it’s worse than that. It’s actual harassment and defamation. We clearly are going to have to do something about this. This is not a FB spat, we’re dealing with an insane person, I mean at least when she’s drunk, which now appears to be 24/7.

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            Have your wife set up a second FD account and transfer her friends over. Max out the settings or at least make it unsearchable/unviewable unless friends. At least this way she can keep her social media and at the very least deny your SIL any friend requests if she does find her. TOS her while youre at it, if she’s this belligerentnt to her sister she’s probably racked up a few complaints from others.

            Phone calls are easily blocked as well.

        2. “Dear Glibby:

          My jealous sister is behaving,like a shrew ever since I stole her husband from her. Am I still obligated to invite her to the wedding, even though she refuses to bake a cake for our gay wedding?

          Signed,

          HungLikeAHorse”

          1. Hyperion

            lol

    2. Pan Zagloba

      *shrug*

      If she’s being a complete ToS-breaking twat, go for it. It won’t do much good, but you gotta do what you can for your wife…

    3. I wouldn’t say you’re overreacting. Despite the children’s rhyme, words can hurt, and hurt badly.

      If Mrs. Hyperion won’t give up Facebook, then there are ways to block, or unsee, or whatever, another person’s posts.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      In all seriousness, your wife should have her blocked. And then she should report it.

      1. Hyperion

        I know. She did block her and apparently she somehow got around it. I’m not sure if she created another account or just used someone’s else’s account. I still haven’t looked into what’s going on.

        1. Vhyrus

          If that’s the case then I think you might actually have a criminal harassment case.

          1. Hyperion

            Well, like I said, If she were in the USA, I would have already had a lawyer write her a letter and if that failed, then a formal restraining order would be next. But I’m not really sure what my options are legal wise considering she lives in Europe.

          2. Suthenboy

            I think most of europe has pretty strict laws against that sort of thing. No matter your location, she is inside their jurisdiction.

            I would think pretty hard about opening that can of worms.

          3. Hyperion

            Well, I am thinking hard about it. That’s why I thought the first thing might be to get her banned from FB. Of course that doesn’t stop the phone calls. It’s a tough situation.

          4. hayeksplosives

            Can you at least install a browser plug in like FB Purity to filter her crap out? It’s not an official Facebook product, and it works like a charm.

          5. Hyperion

            Thanks for the tip. I’ll check it out.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          Facebook is very swift about that sort of thing. Figure out what’s going on, and then act.

          If you don’t understand the intricacies of Facebook, I’m here to help.

          When they say block, they mean block.

    5. Yeah, if it’s a case of defending your wife and it can be done by having Facebook enforcing its Terms of Service, why not?

      To be sure, I don’t really know all the facts, but if in fact the sister in law is out of control with drunken misbehavior, the best thing is to keep at a distance from it and minimize the damage until she decides to shape up and fly right. That’s my best guess about the situation.

      1. Caveat – for all I know, opportunities may arise to help the unfortunate women get her life back in order, but that’s going beyond what I know about the situation.

        1. Oops woman singular, your better half doesn’t seem to have done anything wrong.

      2. Hyperion

        Dude, she’s completely out of fucking control. Shit, she’s been out of control for years, but now she’s taken it to an entirely new level. I kept warning my wife about it because I’ve seen people like this before and it never ends well.

        1. I wish I had The Answer, but I don’t, so I’ll just pray you stay safe and maybe the sister in law gets back on the straight and narrow before anything irreversible happens.

          1. Hyperion

            Thank you, I really appreciate this. I don’t really see this ending well. Like I said, I’ve known people like this before and it doesn’t end well.

          2. Hard to know what to do, and that’s even when you know all the details – will they do a course correction in time? Ask for help? Or just plow on in folly?

            Best wishes.

          3. Hyperion

            The last person I knew like this got ran over by a train standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, fucked up as shit, at 4am in the morning. Seriously.

    6. I don’t know all the Facebook rules, but can’t your wife simply tell FB not to show her anymore shit from her Sister? Contacting lawyers and Facebook for bans seems a tad extreme over easily ignored social media bullying.

      1. Hyperion

        Yes, of course, the problem is that my wife blocked her and she’s somehow getting around it. She’s also leaving insane messages on our home phone and my wife’s cell, every day. I think you don’t understand how bad this is. I don’t typically post stuff like this on the web because someone called us poopy heads or whatever. It’s harassment.

        1. trshmnstr

          I believe you can block numbers from calling your home phone. Blocking numbers from calling a cell should be relatively trivial. If she’s using multiple numbers, you can usually block all international calls. FB has good automated blocking, and you can keep from receiving messages from new accounts and from showing up in search results. They’re also really responsive to accusations of harassment… There are groups of employees dedicated to resolving that stuff.

        2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

          Oh geez, that’s nuts. I didn’t realize she’d already gone that far.

    7. DEG

      Ouch, sorry. I don’t have any advice to add to what you’ve already gotten. I hope you solve this situation.

    8. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      This happened to my mom with one of my dad’s cousins a couple years ago. She had been just ignoring it, but then one day the woman got exceptionally drunk and started private messaging her all sorts of abuse. Finally my mom blocked her, but she was worried the family would gang up on her for it. Fortunately, they didn’t and it ultimately gave my mom peace of mind to block her. She was still upset about it for a long time afterward, though.

      This was one of the rare cases where karma actually came around in a visible, enjoyable way: a year to the day after she went after my mom the last time, she got arrested for felony embezzlement and her ass got dragged all over the news. It was glorious.

  53. Suthenboy

    Good grief every time I sit down here today something comes up and I have to leave. How am I supposed to keep up?

    1. Brochettaward

      This was already covered in the last godawful Terminator installment. The one with the incredibly overrated Game of Thrones blond.

  54. quincy

    Yo, vape snobs! My gas station Vuse Vibe battery has conked out again. I’m am looking to upscale my smokeless nicfittery to something more reliable, yet still simple. Ideas?

    1. Crack.

      /ha ha, that was totally a joke

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Car battery, jumper cable, and tomacco leaf

      1. quincy

        Add an inverted funnel, and you might be on to something.

        1. quincy

          If you make it smokeless and run on 5 volts.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            USB powered…. for the ladies.

          2. quincy

            Wait, you pleasure the ladies with 5-volt appliances? Lame!

          3. Lachowsky

            All my toys take a 8 gauge extension cord plugged into the 220v dryer outlet.

  55. LT_Fish

    My first attempt at an impromptu video.

    This is why I use a script for the DVD reviews. Good gravy I suck.

    Still, great movies – looking forward to “Classes Tous Risques” tomorrow night – waiting to see if they have any new microbrews on tap – may just get a Rubaeus (Total Wine didn’t have any in stock last week).

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Do you have a butt chin in real life?

      1. LT_Fish

        vaguely cleft – better than a double.

    2. You should be driving your car when you do reviews.

      1. LT_Fish

        I guess long pauses could be better than “uhhh”

        1. commodious spittoon

          At least don’t do the jump cuts while you’re gathering your thoughts. Yeah, you think it’s adding production value, but it makes your video look stitched together and lame.

          Also, what’s this about Santa Fe?

      2. KibbledKristen

        I did my first Facebook live when I was skiing last winter. I agree with the premise of doing something else while doing a live shot – it is a good distraction from the fact that you’re actually on camera and OMG WTF SHOULD I SAY??!?!

      3. Hyperion

        LT_Fish is this guy?

        A Separate Reality

        1. Suthenboy

          Back in college I dated a girl who thought Castenada was the most amazing thing ever. She tried to explain it to me. A few minutes in she asked me what I thought.

          “It’s called hallucinating. It’s what happens when your brain isnt functioning properly.”

          She actually kept dating me.

          1. Akira

            Someone I know tried to tell me that DMT makes you have some kind of amazing spiritual experience where ethereal beings from other universes will tell you the secrets of life.

            Nope. I’ll stick with rye whiskey, thank you very much.

  56. hayeksplosives

    Rage rising…

    Oregon couple are forced to give up their children to social services after they were deemed ‘not intelligent enough’ to care for the babies

    Didn’t social services watch Forrest Gump? “I am not a smart man, but I know what love is.”

    1. Hyperion

      Did I really need any more reasons to hate the government?

    2. Domestic abuse and neglect were not factors in the custody case, but didn’t need to be, according to a report

      1. Hyperion

        Look, you tards are a special minority, and in order to protect you as per your protected status, we have to protect you by taking your children. We’ve decided in this case, because of our high level of benevolence, to not charge you all of the fees to which we are entitled, for taking your offspring. So, shut the fuck up and accept the benevolent rule of your betters, tards our very specialists of special snowflakes and beneficiaries of the state who loves you.

    3. RAHeinlein

      Is this the couple who didn’t know they were pregnant?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Yes. The second time around.

    4. Akira

      Extremely dangerous precedent being set here. How long before the state starts abducting children from their homes because the parents hold “extremist” or “hateful” beliefs?

      1. Hyperion

        As soon as possible. For the children.

      2. LT_Fish

        That’s already happened in the UK and I think Sweden. Better not be conservative.

  57. Rothbardsbitch

    I am confused about this Joe Arapoi story. So Sheriff Joe was ordered by a federal judge not to hold illegal immigrants unless they had committed a state crime. He refused and has now been convicted of contempt of court. What I don’t understand here is state law enforcement being ordered to ignore federal law. Is it it just immigration or can they decide to ignore federal gun control laws, refuse to hold those charged with federal tax evasion and so on. And if they are obligated to enforce those laws why is this not the case with immigration? I am confused.

    1. No, those are the good laws. He was supposed to ignore the racist law.

    2. Any temptation they may have had to give him a jury trial was probably overcome by the worry that “OMG what if those jurors re racists who believe in enforcing the immigration laws?”

      1. But strictly speaking – ask any judge – you have to obey court orders even if they happen to conflict with federal statutes.

        1. Lachowsky

          I went to court a few weeks ago. While I was waiting my turn, I listened to the judge berate a young man for daring to wear a hat into his courtroom. He said something along the lines of, “this is a courtroom, show some respect” I had a little insight into how a judge views himself as the petty ty rant of his fiefdom. This is a traffic court too. It’s not exactly a hallowed institution worthy of bended knee.

          1. Raven Nation

            It’s a good example of how removing divine mystery from institutions simply means replacing it with the glorification of man.*

            *Not meant to be support for retaining divine mystery nor an implication that this happens in all case.

  58. Lachowsky

    I moved to a different department at work this week. I’m workingwith the melting and casting operation now instead of the rolling and product finishing. It’s different. It’s a whole new set of equipment to learn amd will require a bit of a different skillset to master. It’s a good opportunity though. Learning new things and getting different kinds of exposure is always good for your career. Thus move is really just a step I need to take before I jump to the management side of things, which should happen in a year or so. Things are looking good career wise at the moment. Let’s just hope the economy stays together.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Glad to hear.

      The economy is going to be fine for another 3 years. No reason.

    2. Good luck.

      I would talk to some managers before applying for a position. What is the management turnover like in your company?
      How many hours do they work a week? Do they travel much?

      Also, what are your coworkers like, and what is your relationship with them like, since you will be presumably managing them? The relationship will change in ways you may not expect.

      1. Lachowsky

        I have talked quite extensively with many of them. I interviewed about a month ago and they were enthusiastic about me joining their team, but the wanted me to spend some time in the melt cast dept before moving me up. They also indicated that the management job I applied for want the one they wanted me in. They actually wanted me in one that is a little higher up the ladder but won’t come available for a year or so. I agreed to take the time to learn the new department. The guys I work with are all pretty good. Where I work pays more for the same skillset than anywhere around here and the quality of mechanic/millwright/electrician that are employed here reflects that. The management style will be more of leadership and direction role than a direct involvement in the day to day activity of those under me. I think it will work out well. Also turnover is very very low here.

        1. It all sounds really good. Congratulations!

    3. LT_Fish

      Did you see my response to your crane comment/response a couple days ago?

  59. Suthenboy

    Just overheard from Greg Gutfeld: “All of a sudden avocado showing up everywhere all over the world on every menu. This is the sinister work of the avocado board. Why does all of our food have to be smeared with this horrible paste? What’s next? Avacado avocado?”

    See. I was right.

    I crawled out of bed to send this message. Now I am going back to sleep with smug satisfaction.

    1. No different from sriracha suddenly becoming trendy. Or chai before that.

  60. Somalian Road Corporation

    Trump 2020 campaign ad spotted in Phoenix.

    That whole area has gone hipster as fuck, too. People with expensive cars paying to park them in millimeter-clearance parking for tiny condos and apartments. I really wonder just how big of a market there actually is for 400sqft studios for $1500/month/etc.

    1. “Trump 2020 campaign ad spotted in Phoenix.”

      You jest, but maybe this will be the progs’ next line of defense: “These are obviously false-flag operations by Trump’s people to make us look bad!”

    2. grrizzly

      Come to Boston! With the exception of NYC and SF, I’m shocked how low the rents (and real estate prices) are in the rest of the country.

  61. KibbledKristen

    Ah fuck. Some conservatives on the Tweeters are begging Trump to pardon Joe Arpaio. Fuck me with a rusty chainsaw.

    1. The jury-trial angle complicates things, but I suspect they’re focusing instead on other arguments.

      1. And when is Trump going to pardon D’Souza?

        1. Raven Nation

          I’d vote for that.

          1. I mean, he’s paid his “debt to society” – and while they’re at it pardon similarly-situated offenders – those who got prison (I mean halfway house) sentences for small straw donations to campaigns. *Are* there similarly-situated offenders? It’s worth having Jeff check it out rather than going around committing highway robbery.

          2. Jeff = Sessions, aka Attorney General Dick Turpin

          3. Were I the President, I would pardon everyone convicted of “Tax Evasion”, because Tax Evasion is how this country started. It’s, like, the most American thing ever.

          4. I love how there’s always someone to one-up me.

          5. Twice as many people one-up me as one-up you.

          6. Since I have your attention Fuze, I found a site I think you might find interesting:

            Reference Page for T.H. White’s Once and Future King

          7. Bookmarked, thank you.

            My Dad would read the part where Merlin turned him into all sorts of animal.

            The other parts, the less ha-ha parts, I read on my own, they were in their own way pretty good.

          8. I say “avoision”.

  62. straffinrun

    Does William Shatner’s attack on “SJWs” erase his “Star Trek” legacy?

    It is telling that, for all of Shatner’s broad generalizations about the modern left, he never provides any specifics as to what issues lead him to believe that they’re covert supremacists instead of advocates of social justice. This is most likely because he doesn’t have any specifics to work off of (at least nothing that couldn’t be instantly pulled apart and discredited by his left-wing critics). Like so many of his Reddit and 4chan counterparts, he is making broad statements and hoping that the like-minded will identify with them.

    Moral supremacist > White supremacist

    1. UHURA: Captain, we are receiving a distress signal…it’s vague and disjointed…

      KIRK: Where is it coming from?

      UHURA: It seems to be coming from the Retard system.

      SPOCK: That’s interesting, Captain, the latest reports from that system indicate that there is no intelligent life there.

      KIRK: Can you interpret the distress signal?

      SPOCK: They are complaining that they have suffered some sort of microaggression.

      KIRK: Bones, can you analyze this? Is this some sort of new interplanetary disease?

      BONES: Damn it, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a…wait a minute, a psychiatrist is a doctor…so let’s see…a microaggression is some kind of unintentional slight to which the Retards are peculiarly sensitive. But this is more up Counselor Troi’s alley.

      KIRK: Can you analyze these transmissions, Troi?

      TROI: As far as I am able to ascertain, they are traumatized by all those references to the “darkness of space,” it’s supposedly offensive to people of color.

      UHURA: Hey, don’t look at me, I’m not getting dragged into this.

      LA FORGE: Me neither. Anyway, me and Troi aren’t even supposed to be in this series.

      SPOCK: Captain, I know this is contrary to our usual practice, but I think it would be best to ignore this particular distress signal. I don’t think that this sort of problem is amenable to logic.

      KIRK: So be it. Ah, this is more like it…a distress call from the Planet of Taylor Swift Clones…action stations!

      1. straffinrun

        Not a Trekkie, but well done.

      2. Derpetologist

        I larfed.

    2. John Titor

      Remember, a person and their achievements are now to be disregarded if they dare to criticize a set of beliefs or the people that hold them.

      And this is not the behaviour of a cult.

      1. straffinrun

        While the passage of nearly half a century has glossed over how we remember the civil rights movement of the 1960s, the reality is that most of the same criticisms being hurled against SJWs today are substantively identical to what was being said about their antecedents. Feminists and African-American activists were denounced as wanting superiority instead of equality, college students were accused of being coddled and entitled, conservatives insisted that discrimination no longer really existed, and so on and so on.

        The “antecendents” he’s referring actually had specific grievances, whereas the SJWs of today have nebulous and fantastic theories of oppression which are undetectable. Of course he wants superiority and not equality. If he did, he’d be a libertarian.

        1. John Titor

          As others have pointed out, these people are Civil Rights LARPers, they’re play-acting in a fantasy world. And of course the “DURR HURR IT WAS JUST LIKE THIS IN THE 60s” either shows that the author’s goddamn ignorant or a liar. It’s like the waves of violent black and socialist terrorism in the 60s and 70s didn’t happen.

        2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

          I’ve been following Shatner on Twitter, and that’s what he’s literally saying, though of course no one will listen. He lived through the civil rights movement and supports what those movements accomplished, and he’ll be the first to tell you. What the SJWs are obnoxiously demanding is not the same, and he knows it because he lived through it. He also got pissed a couple weeks ago because someone was hurling “nazi” around—he pointed out that might be in poor taste to say to a Jewish guy, especially one who lived through WWII, but of course they won’t listen about that, either.

          1. John Titor

            It’s also completely dishonest to frame the Civil Right era and social justice politics now as some kind of comparable endless cycle of “evil right wingers try to oppress people, the left saves them”. One of the central ideals of the (not completely radical and insane) 60s activists was an end to segregation. Now social justice activists argue in favour of segregation.

          2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

            Exactly.

          3. straffinrun

            I’m nearing the big five oh! my back hurts. I’m supposed to ignore my own personal experience and lying eyes so that some dipshit in their late 20s or early 30s can lecture me on what happened in the past. The degree of arrogance is astounding.

        3. the reality is that most of the same criticisms being hurled against SJWs today are substantively identical to what was being said about their antecedents.

          Can I water-cannon some SJWs?

  63. Derpetologist

    Ever wonder where Tom Clancy got the title Rainbow 6?

    Well, US war plans used to be named after colors: Japan was yellow, Germany black, Mexico green, etc. Plans for going to war against multiple countries were called Rainbow plans and there were 5 of them.

    And now you know.

    In other news, Hitler really like Native Americans:

    ***
    In addition, the Nazis considered the Sioux, and by extension all Native Americans to be Aryans,[87] a theory echoed in the sympathetic portrayal of the Natives in German westerns of the 1930s such as Der Kaiser von Kalifornien. Nazi propagandists went as far as declaring that Germany would return expropriated land to the Indians, while Goebbels predicted they possessed little loyalty to America and would rather rebel than fight against Germany.[87] As a boy, Hitler had been an enthusiastic reader of Karl May westerns[9] and he told Albert Speer that he still turned to them for inspiration as an adult when he was in a tight spot;[89] the Karl May westerns contained highly sympathetic portrayals of American Indians.
    ***

    But maybe not these Indians: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAYt6dpCgOI

    1. John Titor

      But he’s really like these Indians.

    2. I’m guessing a Rainbow Plan isn’t like a rainbow party.

    3. Raven Nation

      Although not without some different takes:

      ““There’s only one duty: to Germanize this country [Ukraine] by the immigration of Germans, and to look upon the natives as Redskins,” Hitler wrote.”

  64. Derpetologist

    Huzzah!

    UCF ‘Diversity Chair’ resigns over anti-conservative remarks
    The Diversity Chair for the University of Central Florida’s student government has resigned amid controversy over his past statements that Trump supporters are “not welcome” on campus.
    Lanza had posted on Facebook in October that Trump supporters “are not welcome on this campus,” a sentiment he allegedly reiterated in person to a classmate while calling Republicans “racist” and “sexist.”

    http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=9517

    1. straffinrun

      and has apologized for his “unclear” Facebook comment.

      “Racist!” and “Sexist!” are unclear? Lol.

  65. Derpetologist

    Buckle up, buckaroos!

    Princeton students can choose any—or every—gender identity
    Princeton University now allows its students to record their gender identity—or identities—in official university records.
    The choices include “Cisgender,” “Genderqueer/gender non-conform[ing],” “Trans/transgender,” “Man,” “Woman,” and “Other,” and students may select multiple options if they wish.
    http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=9513

    1. Hopefully, all the students will take this seriously and not do anything disrespectful like hold drinking games where you get points for making the weirdest entries on these forms.

      1. Derpetologist

        In other completely unrelated news:

        https://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/01/health/transgender-population.html

        ***
        Estimate of U.S. Transgender Population Doubles to 1.4 Million Adults

        About 1.4 million adults in the United States identify as transgender, double a widely used previous estimate, according to an analysis based on new federal and state data.

        As the national debate escalates over accommodations for transgender people, the new figure, though still just 0.6 percent of the adult population, is likely to raise questions about the sufficiency of services to support a population that may be larger than many policy makers assumed.

        “There’s a saying: ‘You don’t count in policy circles until someone counts you,’” said Gary J. Gates, a demographer and former research director of the group that did the analysis, the Williams Institute at the U.C.L.A. School of Law, which focuses on law and policy issues related to sexual orientation and gender identity.

        The Williams Institute is the research group that produced a widely accepted estimate five years ago. Its new number was drawn from a much larger federal database than it used to reach the earlier projection of 0.3 percent, or 700,000 people.

        Noting that younger adults ages 18 to 24 were more likely than older ones to say they were transgender, researchers said that the new estimates reflected in part a growing awareness of transgender identity.
        ***

        1. From Wikipedia:

          “In England and Wales 390,127 people (almost 0.8%) stated their religion as Jedi on their 2001 Census forms, surpassing Sikhism, Judaism, and Buddhism, and making it the fourth largest reported religion in the country. In the 2001 Census, 2.6% of the population of Brighton claimed to be Jedi. “

          1. pan fried wylie

            Yet, despite their belief, none of those people have ever been able to retain a pair of droids wanted by the authorities.

          2. Maybe they’re not advanced enough to fool Imperial Stormtroopers, but I think they are able to fool the census people.

          3. Derpetologist

            They get extra bonus points if they try shooing away the UK tv police with mind tricks.

            “You don’t *need* to see my tv license.”

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TV_detector_van
            ***
            TV detector vans are vans which, according to the BBC, contain equipment which can detect the presence of television sets in use.[1] The vans are operated by contractors working for the BBC, in order to enforce the television licensing system in the UK, the Channel Islands and on the Isle of Man.
            ***

          4. pan fried wylie

            I’m curious how those vans work since the decline of CRTs.

    2. straffinrun

      Society must be broken down, all traditions and notions of the old guard removed. It’s a new world, my friends, where we have finally cracked the cycle of happiness-boredom-self created misery. Huzzah!

  66. Derpetologist
      1. Lackadaisical

        Slow your roll, not everyone has your level of resistance to derp.

        1. Derpetologist

          OH, STOP WEEPING, MORTAL. IT’S A WASTE OF GOOD SUFFERING.

          THE LINK! YOU CLICKED IT! I CAME!

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0utsyWNoupM

          JOIN ME AS AN EXPLORER IN THE FURTHER REACHES OF EXPERIENCE.

          1. Lackadaisical

            It was just a meme page.

            It was a mistake.

            Please, go away, leave me alone! *cries like a baby*

        2. Eh, they’re Youtube videos.

    1. Derpetologist

      exhibit C
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvPfjewd_jU

      ***
      Julien Thomas Schuessler, 20, was charged with a hit and run, reckless driving, failing to maintain lane control and was released.

      Schuessler, posted a video at 2:24 p.m. the day of the primary election, and shows him intentionally pulling off of the road and slamming through a Trump sign. When asked why he would intentionally pull off the road to hit a Trump campaign sign in such a dangerous maneuver, the driver said:

      “I did what I felt was morally right. Spread love, not hate.”
      ***

    2. Derpetologist

      exhibit D
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0kcZJiu3Sk

      this one was particularly rage-inducing

      1. Lackadaisical

        We may one day look kindly back on those days, compared to the derp to come.

  67. Derpetologist

    I need to set the mood before I start posting the *really* wild TDS stuff:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moVpv05te1g

    You’ve been warned.

  68. CPRM

    Just now when I logged in, monocle told me there were 666 unread comments in this thread. We are the number of the beast!

    1. Derpetologist

      I”M HERE TO TURN UP THE VOLUME. TO PRESS HUMANITY’S FACE INTO THE STINKING DERP OF ITS OWN CREATION.

      DERP?! HOW *DARE* YOU SPEAK THAT WORD. WHAT YOU CALL DERP IS MERELY A SHADOW. DERP HAS A FACE.

      ALLOW ME TO SHOW IT TO YOU.

      I….AM…DERP!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Or-40E0dl2M

        1. Lackadaisical

          Comments on that are great:

          I would have sex with all of them!

          1. CPRM

            Isn’t that what each of us utter after reading a SugarFree story? Or is that just me? Ok, I may need mental help.

          2. Derpetologist

            A STEVE SMITH/Hellraiser cross-over would be pretty funny.

            ***
            “ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. I AM…WHAT..WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

            “GRRR ROWWR! STEVE SMITH MAKE PINHEAD INTO PIN CUSHION!”

            “NO! YOU’RE SOILING MY IMMACULATE LEATHER OUTFIT! NOOOOOOOOO”
            ***

            I read STEVE SMITH dialogue in the voice of Grimlock from Transformers.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik3NoF-muDE

          3. CPRM

            LOL…as someone who owns every episode of G1/G2 Transformers (including Takara Japanese only episodes) I approve of this interpretation.

    1. CPRM

      get on with it man.

      1. …but that was the last any of them heard from Derpetologist.

        Because he had finally succumbed to the madness against which he had sought to warn the world.

        Delving into the unhallowed abyss of retardation, ignoring all warnings, he had yielded to powers with which no mortal should toy.

        Of his ultimate fate nothing certain is known. Some say they once beheld him at a farmer’s market selling organic avocados. Others say that he changed his name and gender and wanders Phoenix in a pussy hat, babbling about intersectionality. But any attempt to follow up those trails has proven fruitless.

        He attempted to make the derp yield up its secrets, and before the end he revealed much, which we could use to our profit. He went further in his investigations than previous explorers, and uncovered hitherto-unknown pathways.

        But in his search for the elusive Peak Retard he succumbed to the vastness of the undertaking. For indeed no mortal has ascended the Derp to its pinnacle.

        1. Oh, wait, there he is, below.

          1. CPRM

            Eddie, one night we should have a talk on religion. I’m roman catholic and thought seriously about becoming a priest at one point. And here we both are, on a website where the big in-joke is a rapesquatch. So, about to go to bed, but look forward to maybe at some point turning one of these threads into an in-depth talk about religion, and these horrible bastards will let us do just that, the sick fucks.

        2. pan fried wylie

          read in the voice of the Unsolved Mysteries guy.

          1. CPRM

            Robert Stack, who also was in ‘Transformers: The Movie’, so Transformers all around!

          2. Now, read it in the voice of”The Wonder Years” narrator, with the opening bars of “Tuesday’s Gone” by Skynyrd playing in the background.

    2. CPRM

      T-T-Today Junior!

    1. CPRM

      dude, I’m the only other active person on this board, and I’m about to go to bed. If you have a derp bomb to drop, you better do it soon, or there’ll be like 2 people who read it, and then the morning lynx will move traffic away.

      1. Derpetologist

        Why Porn Is The Perfect Weapon To Fight Hatred, Fear, And Trump
        Artist Rebecca Goyette and her alter ego “Ghost Bitch” are taking no prisoners.

        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ghost-bitch-is-the-salem-witch-feminist-porno-you-never-knew-you-wanted_us_57506f21e4b0ed593f139c1c

        the drawings are NSFW and probably not safe for SugarFree either.

        Fun fact: Goyette is that idiot shrieking about being a professor.

        1. CPRM

          Rebecca Goyette is a contemporary multimedia artist and Rebecca Nurse’s great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great granddaughter. Goyette, haunted by the horrific tale of her ancestor’s death,

          People tell me all the time to ‘get over it’, referring to the death of my father, who I had to drop out of college (I did finish my degree later while caring for him) and move back home across the country to care for him as he slowly withered away from MS and died from complications there of 3 years ago. So, not much sympathy for anyone who has a sad for an ancestor they never knew.

          1. CPRM

            Ever since I moved in with my grandma between my junior and senior years of HS so her kids (my aunts and uncles) wouldn’t put her in a nursing home, one of my worst fears was finding a love one dead, but thinking they were only asleep. And that is exactly how I found my father. But, this woman I’m sure has more right to be upset over someone she never met.

      2. thrakkorzog

        Hey, There is at least one other person who posts late at night.

        I do miss Agile Cyborg. I have to guess he is probably the Jacket’s alter-egos, Or at least one of the Reason writers.

        How else do you explain his refusal to join us?

    1. Lackadaisical

      I’m a professor!!

      Also, those drawings are the worst porn I’ve ever seen, more apt would be to call them nightmares.

  69. straffinrun

    Well that was a rather lengthy comment section.