Tuesday Afternoon Links

Sloopy linked to a story about guns on campus in Texas and forgot to mention that today is the anniversary of an event involving a campus shooting. It seems like a simple MRI would solve this problem in today’s world. In case you aren’t familiar with it, a civilian figured prominently in the eventual assault, and authorities credited return fire from deer rifles on campus with limiting th sniper’s ability to move and aim freely.

In more recent Texas news, it looks like someone knows how to use a throwdown gun.

You know, I never believed that the Clintons were involved in the Seth Rich murders until today.

This here is some Barney Fife shit.

Not to worry, Vox is here to solve the opiod crisis.

Soo.. while I am also named Brett and work in IT, this is not me. For one thing, I never had 2 brothers.

Also, SugarFree shared this excellent Rednecks in the Mist article with me.

I really need to reboot Florida Man Episodes.

The L residence is setting up daycare and getting ready for school. Sadly, I didn’t see anything like this.

Comments

326 responses to “Tuesday Afternoon Links”

  1. Hyperion

    First?

  2. Playa Manhattan

    I’m in the middle of laundry. I need to go to the store. I open my drawer, 1 clean shirt left: Reason Foundation.

    Fuck it, I guess I’m not going to the store.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Wear it Ironically.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Is “Hate Wearing” a thing?

        1. Mad Scientist

          Go topless. Leave a trail of fainted hotties in your wake.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            I think it’s spelled ‘tainted’?

          2. Pope Jimbo

            Holy Shi-ite! Playa is everywhere!

            The man was first spotted about 7:45 a.m. and “was not wearing any clothes and had a hatchet in his hand,” according to a statement from the Sheriff’s Office. The woman saw him again shortly after 9 a.m., this time wearing black athletic shorts and a gray T-shirt, and she called 911 to report the incident.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            That weren’t no hatchet, but he were choppin’ wood!

          4. Playa Manhattan

            Yeah, I got my laundry done

    2. Brett L

      Just tape a big T in front. #MAGA

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Do you know of a place where I can get Puke Orange tape on short notice?

        1. Brett L

          Swing by Reason LA and force one of the interns to trade shirts with you.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Since you won’t make my job goofing off easy

      http://imgur.com/a/u5lNp

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Nice. Is that a My Little Pony logo on my shirt?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I’m surprised you don’t recognize it.

          https://drpma142ptgxf.cloudfront.net/assets/logo.svg

          1. Playa Manhattan

            DAMN YOU

          2. Playa Manhattan

            OK, well done. But you still made the list, pal.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            YESSSSSS!

            I made the list!

            Wait…. which list?

          4. Playa Manhattan

            All you need to know is that it’s written in black Sharpie.

          5. bacon-magic

            You win the internets Scruffy.

      2. Trials and Trippelations

        I lol’d

    4. Pan Zagloba

      Do you have a stylish vest to cover it with?

      1. I hope you mean American vest, not British vest.

        1. Brett L

          Waistcoat.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            If it doesn’t have a pocket for your pocket watch, you need to go back home!

        2. Pan Zagloba

          Of course American. I’m picturing a saucy leather number with fringe. Well suited to hoedowns, saloon performances by traveling East Coast vaudeville stars and high-noon duels.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Is he supposed to wear that with chaps and no pants?

          1. Brett L

            Do you wear them with oversized t-shirts with the sleeves rolled and a sassy flat-brimmed hat?

          2. Playa Manhattan

            I will now.

    5. I’ve got about 20 solid-color T-shirts. If I somehow ran out of clean shirts I’d be in big trouble.

    6. DOOMco

      Burn it?

  3. Hyperion

    Don’t any of you work?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      I’m done for the day.

      Laundry, swim, beer, lobster tacos.

      I’ll get at least 3 of those done.

      1. The last three, I assume.

        Then again, you are a shirtless wonder right now…

    2. Florida Man

      Just got to get through 5-7 more hours.
      *stares at second hand that appears frozen in time*

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      I have been. I stopped about 20 minutes ago since my boss sent me an outlook request scheduling a meeting this afternoon. Which irritates the hell out of me because she is located in the adjacent office, as immediately next door.

      ASK ME IN PERSON DAMNIT

  4. Playa Manhattan

    “You know, I never believed that the Clintons were involved in the Seth Rich murders until today.”

    Well, they are both lawyers. Or one of them still is, anyway.

    1. Count Potato

      I don’t think either are now.

      “U.S. intelligence agencies dismiss that idea. Their evidence suggests that the DNC network was accessed over a long period of time by two different Russian government agencies, as early as the summer of 2015.”

      What evidence? Last I heard the DNC wouldn’t even let the FBI look at the server.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        You’re right. Her license lapsed in 2002 because she hasn’t been back to Arkansas.

  5. Pan Zagloba

    From the Wisconsin article

    For people who were saying, “The system is broken, and it’s not benefiting people like us, and we’re struggling to make ends meet, and it seems like we’re working really hard and we deserve more, and it seems to us that there are people who are not working as hard who seem to be getting more than their fair share,” then Scott Walker tapped into that by saying, “Public employees, probably it’s time that they paid in more to the pot. It’s time that they contribute more to their health care and pensions, and that would be fair.” That played really well, the legislation that undercut public employee unions.

    *Derp-style headdesk*

    Oh and you forgot TW: Slate

    1. Just Say’n

      When people say ‘public employees’ they mean (insert new vogue minority group). You would know that if you weren’t such a racist, you redneck

      1. I say “government employees”, not “public employees”.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          When people say ‘public employees’ they mean Lamprey.

          1. I like eels.
            Except as meals.
            And the way they feels.

    2. Sour Kraut

      Yes but at least the prof got through that paragraph before stating matter-of-factly that obviously part of the rural resistance to the cities is racism.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        You gotta build up to racism. The whole thing was like a well-plotted movie, doing rising and falling action, with stakes higher at every point, except you replace the action with derpiness.

      2. Microaggressor

        “That money is going to people who don’t deserve it as much as I do, and don’t seem to be working as hard as I do.” And some of that is racist sentiment.

        This is the part where my hand collided with my face.
        They will keep losing, because they will keep not getting it. And things will turn out okay, while they keep whining about racism in the dunce corner.

        1. PBRstreetgang

          People like Chortiner continuously accuse rural whites of being racist and so dumb that they always vote against their own interests. And yet, after insulting these same folks remain baffled that they won’t vote for the candidates Chortiner prefers. Maybe routinely hurling vile insults at a large group of people isn’t a recipe for persuading them to join you team?

          1. Brett L

            Classic projection. There are all of these people voting for DNC promoted candidates who are almost certainly voting against their best interest. They’ve just convinced themselves that they can see the emperor’s clothes.

        2. SP

          I spend a LOT of time in rural Wisconsin AND city Wisconsin. I have never seen or heard anything that could even vaguely be construed to be about race at all…except from progressives.

          And, of course, she’s upset about public employees having to pay more for benefits: she is one!

    3. John Titor

      I don’t know, that’s still significantly less derpy than the “social justice is totes like the civil rights movement guys, which is why William Shatner is evil” idiocy from yesterday.

      1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Yep. MLK expressly rejected the Malcom X / BLM approach.

        Just saying, progs, one of those worked and the other didn’t.

  6. Chipwooder

    The Slate “Rednecks in the Mist” piece is written by Issac Chotiner, who is a cunt of the highest order.

  7. Playa Manhattan

    OK, the URL in that link contained:
    “peanut_butter_used_to_trick_yo”

    It was not what I thought it was going to be.

    1. Brett L

      Dumber than dogs?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        My dog would not consider that a trick, since he would be getting peanut butter.

        /Fair Market Value

    2. Mad Scientist

      Tricknology!

    3. Florida Man

      You expected more dogs licking PB off balls?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Including but not limited to balls

  8. Just Say’n

    From that Slate article: “My research has also taught me that racism is very much a part of the conversation even when people aren’t saying blatantly racist things. I think a lot of times this debate between “is it racism or is it economics” gets caught up in whether individuals are racist and forgets that the whole system in which we are operating was founded on some pretty racist policies.”

    I didn’t know you could take courses on how to read minds. Experts!

    1. The Last American Hero

      The more interesting part is how they can read minds but I can’t. If I make assumptions about what they are thinking, all I hear is that I’m “denying their lived experiences” or “You can’t understand what it’s like to be a black body.” If they make assumptions about me, it’s a truth that cannot be denied.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      The law of diminishing marginal returns meets progressive politics.

      2 generations ago, there were routine lynchings. Now, they’re reading minds for microagressions.

      Same thing with the environment. The air in Los Angeles was disgusting when my dad grew up here. It’s fixed now. But that’s not stopping CA from wasting billions on minor to non-exsistent problems. Because reasons.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Those phoney baloney jobs aren’t going to protect themselves.

        1. Chipwooder

          Harrumph, harrumph!

      2. Zunalter

        If LA didn’t spend a ton of time and attention hyping up problems that aren’t really problems anymore, they would have to be accountable to voters on the actual problems that they aren’t doing anything about.

    3. Behold!

      Not mind reading. Projection.

      1. Zunalter

        Behold the octocle!

        1. Behold!

          Indeed. Normally the monocles are hard to polish, but fortunately I have a mind control ray and several orphans handy. I just hope the orphans don’t attract the attention of any wandering adventurers…

  9. The L residence is setting up daycare and getting ready for school. Sadly, I didn’t see anything like this.

    My first thought was this.

  10. Brett L

    I will be honest. This is like reading a foreign language. Or maybe the work of schizophrenic logorrhea that uses English words: Social Reproduction Beyond Intersectionality: An Interview

    If I’m understanding it correctly, Marxists are apparently still taken seriously somewhere in Canada.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s word salad at best.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        You don’t win friends with salad.

      2. Hyperion

        The title is word salad, it tells me ‘do not read’.

      3. Worker and Parasite

        I had a genuinely crazy client who spoke in pure word salad. He was more coherent than these people.

    2. John Titor

      Marxists are apparently still taken seriously somewhere in Canada.

      Someone hasn’t been to an American university.

      1. Brett L

        I have, but the closest I got to an actual Marxist professor was an older philosophy professor who had actually taken part in the Structuralist/Deconstructionism fights. I’m sure there are people busily toiling away in old 50s-70s style Marxist ideals and lexicons, but that was like reading a 50s era East German white paper.

        1. John Titor

          Too much intersectionality for the 50s. Now it’s a new brand of horseshit.

          1. Suthenboy

            Same horseshit, different color wheelbarrow.

  11. Hyperion

    You know, I never believed that the Clintons were involved in the Seth Rich murders until today.

    Is that really the Washington Post? LOL, reads like the National Enquirer, they’ll print anything. Can we get some bigfoot stories now?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      STEVE SMITH NEVER APPEAR IN WAPOO…

      RAPE AND EAT LAST REPORTER THAT TRIED

  12. Behold!

    Don’t know how familiar y’all are with the state of Marvel comics right now. Basically, while the MCU is still huge right now, the comics themselves are really suffering in both sales and quality, and a big reason for this is that feminists have utterly infested Marvel. They are literally replacing all of their straight white male flagship characters with non-straight white males. Captain America? Turned into a secret Nazi Hydra agent and replaced by a black guy. Thor? A woman now. Hulk? An Asian guy. Hawkeye? Woman. Spiderman? Black guy. Wolverine? Woman. Iron Man? Gen X black woman. And yes, the diversity is pushed hard, and yes, it sucks.

    Reason I bring it up is one comic book fan noticed that the replacement for Iron Man, Ri Ri Williams (yes, that is her name) is a terrible hero but is an excellent build up for a villain. Seriously, she stole her tech, only wanted to be Iron Man to spite a teacher who wasn’t oppressing Ri Ri like Ri Ri wanted her to, invaded a country and declared herself queen over it…anyway, he made an 11 page fan comic about transitioning her to a villain and a broader satire of Marvel comics and the feminist infestation in general that’s actually quite good. Link is in the description of this video (which gives a summary of the reason for the comic and current problems) for any interested.

    1. John Titor

      If social justice kills superhero comics, I will actually be quite pleased. I view the medium as stagnant to begin with, social justice is just the pneumonia that killed the HIV patient.

      1. Behold!

        Don’t hold your breath. Marvel is badly infected, but DC has had a recent revival and is going quite strong right now. They’re even doing a (very small) amount of character progression, like Superman marrying Lois and having a son. There are also a few superhero webcomics that are going strong.

        I admit the desire to retain the status quo is a huge problem for Marvel and DC and other long runners (see: the Simpsons). I don’t think that’s an indictment on comics as a whole though (see for example Dr. McNinja) or of Superhero specifically (Watchmen, PS238, the Justice League cartoon). The biggest problem is when the goal is to keep running forever, which yeah is a huge problem. Ironically, social justice is actually fixing some of the stagnation problem, their just also sucking at telling stories and respecting the predecessors.

        1. John Titor

          Marvel’s got that sweet, sweet movie money so they can effectively publish horseshit for years, but I’m hoping for at least a partial discrediting of the genre as a whole.

          Watchmen is from the goddamn 80s, Justice League cartoon was like a decade ago and run by people who knew what the fuck they were doing, and stuff like McNinja succeeds specifically because the author is entirely out of the ‘mainstream’ industry (though he’s in it now, and doing better than most) and embraces a ‘yeah this medium is goofy’ ideal. These are diamonds in the rough that pale in comparison to garbage like the shit of the 90s, Marvel’s nonsense, and DC’s new 52 and their idiotic reboots in general.

          The decent comics that have come out ‘recently’ tend to be the ones that completely ignore the traditional superhero genre and do their own thing. See stuff like Y The Last Man, Transmetropolitan, more recently Uber, etc.

          1. Behold!

            The examples were more about the medium not being inherintly stagnant, not showcasing recent successes. A big problem also is the shared universe of Marvel and DC. Like you said, those examples are diamonds in the rough, because Sturgion’s Law applies as usual. Problems arise when one of the 10% good stories is forced to share the same universe as many of the 90% crap ones, dragging the good ones down with it. There’s a reason that none of the examples both you and I mentioned (I believe) are shared universe works. Even the MCU, the most lucrative shared universe right now, has mostly passable movies and few genuinely good ones, even with the Mouse keeping a tight reign on it.

        2. Pan Zagloba

          Jesus, DC apparently made Batman vs Elmer Fudd be totally awesome.

          I can’t verify because when I asked, the comic shop was totally sold out, and they were waiting for a second printing, because the distributor was out, too!

          1. LT_Fish

            I’ve had special orders in for a few of them – the only two I was able to pick up in store were Lobo/Wiley E. Coyote and Batman/Elmer Fudd. I don’t think I’m ever going to get my hands on the other 3.

      2. Pan Zagloba

        Christopher Priest has it right (he isn’t the only one to notice it, but I visited his blog recently so it stuck in my mind) – comics need an audience turnover. In the olden days, being stagnant didn’t matter – people came in at 11-12 and got out when they graduated high school at the latest. If your audience completely turns over every eight years, you don’t need pondersome continuities, crossover events and endless soap opera plots.

        I mean, fuck, MCU is strong because they are basing their movies mostly on straightforward, iconic versions of their character stable. Will it end in superhero fatigue? Sure. So what? You make a ton of money over 10-15 years and, if you’re smart, you then restart it after letting it lie fallow for 5-10 with a new crop of fans.

        1. Behold!

          A huge problem is that many of the writers are fans who grew up reading the comics, so they not only want to keep things as they are, they want to revert changes that were made to their childhood icons. That’s a big reason why resurrection is so popular in comics; the writers grew up loving those characters and want them back. Ironically, SJW Marvel is helping to solve this problem by hiring people to write who aren’t comic fans, they just hit the right diversity points (e.g. finding a lesbian latina on Tumblr to write a lesbian latina “hero,” Muslim woman to write muslim girl hero, etc). Unfortunately, those writers also suck and are constantly pushing a political narrative.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            There’s a reason Spider-Girl is my favorite Marvel series by far (May Parker one, not any of the impostors) and not just because she’s a cool character….

          2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

            My sister was subscribed to Spider-Girl for the entire duration of its run. I know next to nothing about Marvel comics, and 99% of what I do know came from idly flipping through those issues when they’d show up in the mail. She’s still fanatic about that series.

          3. Pan Zagloba

            Marvel Unlimited has the entire 130+ issue run, as well as some of the new crossover event stuff she was in. I mostly subbed to it when I realized a) I never completed my digest collection, and b) Marvel never completed it, either.

            If she’s not opposed to digital comics and still fanatic about it, one month sub is probably enough to read everything!

          4. WTF

            Muslim woman to write muslim girl hero

            Is her name Bombarella?

        2. John Titor

          It seems like Marvel’s attempt at ‘audience turnover’ is “we assume every twelve year old is as woke as the twentysomething useless hacks we have writing for us”.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Yes, that’s an unrelated issue with SJW mentality of “we see something, we want to take it over and run off all the people who enjoy it. We don’t replace them or enjoy this ourselves, no. We just want to enforce our values on it, and, more importantly, ensure those people no longer have an outlet.”

            Seen it…oh, 12+ years ago on rpg.net.

          2. IntraveneousWoodChipper

            ^ Damn. Hit the nail on the head. May have to steal this.

    2. SugarFree

      Chase has a man-bun forthcoming Runaways series.

      I am not kidding.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        I vaguely remember Runaways from a decade+ ago, but wasn’t he a guy who would? Or is man-bun not what trendy rebels wear?

        1. SugarFree

          The art I’ve seen makes him look like a waiter at a trendy brunch place.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Trying to find the art led me to….

            How Marvel’s Hulu Series ‘Runaways’ Is A Response To Trump America – TCA

            To spoil the body of the article – it may be, but not in any way that’s mention in it. People distrust authorities, and teenagers distrusts their parents – really?

          2. SugarFree

            Everything is a response to Trump. Even comics written over a decade ago.

          3. SugarFree

            You can get some bun action here…

            http://www.ign.com/articles/2017/05/22/marvel-comics-teases-the-return-of-the-runaways

            Did you see what they are going to be screaming about with the Runaways TV show? Gertie’s not fat.

          4. Pan Zagloba

            I’ll try and be optimistic about man-bun being a symptom of what’s wrong with the team, and that at the end of issue 6, it goes as they become a team once more.

    3. Not Adahn

      Gen X? I thought Riri was supposed to be like 15 or something.

  13. From the Washington Post article about the timeline of the Seth Rich matter:

    “The Washington Post, continuing a second week of scoops about the Trump administration…”

    Scoops that all turned into wisps of fairy dreams and floated away.

    1. Hyperion

      I’m thinking that next, they blame Trump for the embassy attack in Benghazi. Looks like they have a plan, they just take anything that Hillary was involved in and blame Trump for it. And having Hillary as your source, you never run out of stuff.

    2. NoDakMat

      Are you trying to make light of the fact that Trump had TWO FUCKING SCOOPS of ice cream at a state dinner!?! Two. Fucking. Scoops!!!

      Wait, they are bragging about talking about ice cream scoops for two fucking weeks, right?

      1. Chipwooder

        Two scoops of raisins are the reason, Kellogg’s Raisin Bran’s so pleasin’

  14. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Opioid crisis? Launch a new program, wait for the current generation of users to die or quit. Fewer people try it because they see it really is a destructive drug. Declare victory. Cynical as hell but heroin is not exactly a drug that’s know for most people to use in moderation. This thing moves in waves.

    1. Florida Man

      To be fair, if people could get a consistent potency of heroin, they would be less likely to OD.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Stop mixing it with fentynal and make oxycontin less than impossible to get and the ‘crisis’ would dwindle as well.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        And consistent supply.

        If I didn’t know where my next meal was coming from, I’d probably exhibit similar behavior.

        1. Florida Man

          A point I hadn’t thought of; interesting.

    2. SP

      In my suburban/rural mixed county of residence, the cops all carry naloxone and regularly employ it to save lives. Last weekend, one of the local cop shops held a public event with the county health department to hand out clean needles and naloxone autoinjectors to anyone who wanted it. No names or ID required, no questions asked. (And presumably no photos snapped, but I’m cyncial….)

      1. Zunalter

        How would you know you needed naloxone before you OD’d? Or are we operating on the buddy system here?

        1. SP

          Yes, exactly.

    3. ArchieBunker

      Lots of heroin folks use responsibly. You just dont hear about them because of the ODers.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      Drugs have waves of popularity. Younger siblings see shit like heroin fuck up their older brothers and sisters and decide to do LSD instead. Then speed/meth, then back to heroin.

      Bell bottoms will be back some day too. You can’t stop some of these horrible events from re-occurring every so often.

    1. Hyperion

      I found the shoebox one entertaining.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Wo ist der tentacles?

      1. John Titor

        That’s a specific brand of hentai, not anime. Please, this is a Family Friendly website.

        1. Behold!

          What? I was just trying to prove to my wife that tentacle porn is a thing. Honest!

          1. Lackadaisical

            I’m starting to think it isn’t a coincidence your avatar is a beholder.

      1. John Titor

        Hey now…

        I don’t like Dragonball Z.

        1. John Titor

          …And Kill la Kill’s pretty good for what it is. Mostly because it’s completely retarded and knows it.

  15. Chipwooder

    -Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was?…..none of you dumbasses know. Private Cowboy?

    Sir, he shot all those people from that tower in Austin Texas, sir!

    -That’s affirmative. Charles Whitman killed 12 people from a 28 story observation tower from distances of up to 400 yards. Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was….Private Snowball?

    Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir!

    -That’s right, and do you know how far he was?

    Sir, it was pretty far from that book suppository building, sir! *laughter*

    -Alright, knock it off. 250 feet….Oswald was 250 feet away and shooting at a moving target. He got off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action rifle and scored two hits, including a head shot. Do any of you people know where those individuals learned how to shoot? Private Joker?

    Sir, in the Marines, sir!

    -In the Marines, outstanding! Those individuals showed what one motivated Marine and his rifle can do, and by the time you ladies leave my island, you will all be able to do the same thing!

    1. John Titor

      “Any Presidents who were Marines?”

      “Closest we ever got was Oswald.”

      1. Chipwooder

        Fun fact – Lee Harvey’s unit was my old squadron, MACS-1.

  16. B.P.

    A few days old, but Jennifer Rubin on the heroes who saved Obamacare:

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2017/07/28/republicans-dream-of-repealing-obamacare-ends/?utm_term=.e83de4b326b3

    Neocons: All of the welfare statism of progressives, plus endless wars.

    1. Chipwooder

      Jennifer Rubin is the worst, the rock bottom fucking worst.

    2. Um…the senators who voted no on skinny repeal are brave?

    3. Playa Manhattan

      I saw something on Facebook about how Susan Collins got a standing ovation at the airport in Maine.

      I threw up in my mouth a little.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Sure, sure, and everyone in that Starbucks stood up and said “Not my president” the day after the election too.

      2. grrizzly

        Somehow I recalled this Peggy Noonan’s column from 2010.

        The next morning he took the 7 a.m. shuttle from Boston to Washington for his first trip to the Capitol. On the plane, after they took off, the pilot came on and said, “Senator Brown is on board, on his way to Washington.” The plane erupted in applause.

        That’s a good way to begin. It reminded me of 12 months before, on the shuttle to Washington, with a plane full of people on their way to the inauguration of Barack Obama. The pilot spoke of it, and the plane erupted in cheers.

      3. Trials and Trippelations

        Which one because portland couldn’t have had more than 25 people in it

    4. Akira

      Neocons: All of the welfare statism of progressives, plus endless wars.

      Dunno, man. I think Obama and Hillary prove that constant war is not just a right-wing thing.

      1. Behold!

        War has traditionally been a left wing hobby; the neocons are descending from democrat expats. WWI, WWII, Vietnam, Korea, Mexican-American War, etc were all done under Democrats. Desert Storm and Iraq were both by neo-cons. The big exceptions I can think of are the Civil War and the Spanish-American war.

  17. Pope Jimbo

    Bah!

    Minnesoda can play the pervert game with anyone.

    William Leonard Helker, 47, of Pine City, pleaded guilty in March to one count of distributing child pornography. According to documents filed in court, Helker’s collection included images with superimposed photos of some members of his congregation at All Saints Lutheran Church in Cottage Grove, Minn.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      We also have more artistic types of weirdos.

      The girl’s mother called the teacher to demand answers. He told her he had her daughter take off her shoes and socks, and lie down on a couch because she was acting as if she was in a “banana boat commercial.”

      I’ll leave it up to you to find out how banana boat commercials end up.

      1. Daylight comes and she wants to go home?

    2. Playa Manhattan

      There are no good guys in that story.

  18. Brett L

    SF is currently fighting off a library emergency, but also commends this piece by David Brooks on… Masculinity.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Someone please tell me how David Brooks is manly in any sense whatsoever.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Sadly, the other workers at the NYT actually do think he is super manly. Near lumberjack levels of testosterone.

        1. hayeksplosives

          As in this type of lumberjack?:

          I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers. I put on women’s clothing, and hang around in bars

          1. Pan Zagloba

            There’s another type?

          2. mexican sharpshooter
          3. DOOMco

            my picture in the caption contest?
            (winners announced soon!)

          4. hayeksplosives

            I think my favorite was Zero Sum Game with:

            2. Libertarian lumbersexual expressing disapproval of the existence of “muh roads.”

          5. Zunalter

            Are you announcing winner with next caption contest?

          6. Pope Jimbo

            Nothing you mentioned there proves my statement wrong. Yes, even a cross dressing lumberjack is more butch than anyone else at the NYT.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        The manliest man in the NYT office pool, except for Maureen Dowd.

        /very shallow pool

    2. Florida Man

      Library emergency? Like the Internet is down, so the hobos are going to lynch SF because they can’t masturbate?

      1. I’d think SugarFree would want the hobos to masturbate.

        1. Florida Man

          He does, that’s why the Internet being down is an emergency.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            SF has been skimming the money out of the library’s paste budget for years. If the hobos stop masturbating, what will he use to glue torn pages back into the books? The whole scheme will come crashing down!

          2. Florida Man

            We all have a share in the syndicate. I don’t want mine, but I have it.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        It’s a college library, so the hobos are hot coeds.

        1. Florida Man

          Well now I’m having an emergency, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Say no more, say no more!

      3. SugarFree

        It was an internet issue. And I accept and encourage expressions of hobo sexuality.

    3. Mad Scientist

      Did someone steal the last pages from all the mystery novels?

      1. SP

        I once had a mystery ebook that was missing the last 4%. That sucked.

  19. Sour Kraut

    Don’t want to be a Dream Hoarder? Here are 5 things you can do right now.

    A “dream hoarder” is apparently a middle class person who doesn’t sacrifice themselves and the future of their children enough “for the poor children”. Because it is all those middle class people taking opportunities, that keeps poorer people from taking opportunities.

    Anyway here are the 5 things:

    Be a YIMBY not a NIMBY

    Pressure your alma mater to end legacy preferences

    Lobby your organization for fair internship practices

    Organize a Take Someone Else’s Child to work Day

    Campaign for your PTA to share funds with another school

    I always thought Brookings was sort of respectable center left, but this article is pure wooly headed prog dipshittery.

    1. Sour Kraut, meanwhile, is a Link Hoarder.

    2. Hyperion

      Here’s #6 for the author. Hey, he asked that we contribute something, so here it is. FUCK OFF.

    3. Sadly, they could be more evil. David Thompson links to the idiot who says

      Parents reading their children bedtime stories… are unfairly disadvantaging other people’s children.

      1. Actually, I think I should have linked to this comment instead, to get around the one-link rule.

    4. Gadfly

      Organize a Take Someone Else’s Child to work Day

      OMWC approves.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        That’s literally the business model of every Libertarian monocle factory.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Take no one’s child to work.

          /Orphans R Us

    5. Playa Manhattan

      “Campaign for your PTA to share funds with another school”

      I ALREADY FUCKING DO THAT WITH PROPERTY TAXES.

      Unfortunately, the teacher’s pension fund takes it all, so maybe you should have a word with them instead.

    6. Behold!

      Be a YIMBY not a NIMBY

      He supports nuclear and fracking now?

    7. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      I tracked down the article (here, if anyone’s interested), and some of the ideas are good ideas if you’re interested in charity. (Which, I know, unlikely for us monocle-wearers.) Most of them are like, “We should have a law/public policy, but in the meantime…” No. Scratch that. We don’t need a law. If people are affluent and would like to help kids in need, donating money to poorer school districts’ PTAs is a nice, charitable thing to do. If you want to participate in one of those “take someone else’s kid to work” things, that’s a nice, charitable thing to do. If this was being approached from an individual, voluntary perspective, it would be fine. It’s the “we should also be lobbying for policy” part that’s the trouble.

      1. Sour Kraut

        Fair points.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    That David Brooks piece was so stupid, it gave me cancer.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Brooks is the Thomas Friedman of Morals.

    2. Mad Scientist

      Get well soon, Brooks!

    3. Chipwooder

      Of all the politicians I’ve covered, John McCain comes closest to the old magnanimous ideal.

      Blow it out your fucking ass, Broooksie.

      1. Brett L

        Its not his fault he never got to cover James Stockdale during the Admiral’s brief foray into politics.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          It’s too bad Stockdale will forever be misremembered as a doddering old man. He was a giant of a man.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        John “Wife Abandoner” McCain?

        1. Drake

          A fucking asshole with a brittle personalty disorder and legendary bad temper – who never seemed to lose that temper with his buddies like Ted Kennedy.

          1. hayeksplosives

            It seems fitting that McCain got a touch of the Mary Jo Kopechne Memorial Brain Tumor as well.

          2. Gray Ghost

            Didn’t he almost become a Communist ace? How many a/c did he crash or damage fucking around? Helps when you’re the Admiral’s kid.

        2. Gustave Lytton

          I think his call sign in the Navy was “Keating 5”.

          1. Drake

            The North Vietnamese called him “Songbird”.

    4. He should reenact the final scene with Brooks from Shawshank. I think it would be his best work.

  21. ChipsnSalsa

    I’m still so happy that Walker canned that high speed train when he took office.

  22. Hyperion

    “Not to worry, Vox is here to solve the opiod crisis.”

    Oh, poor poor, Vox, you are so naive. Crises are not for solving. Crises are for making profits and gaining power. Do try to keep up.

  23. Drake

    The part I really liked about the Tower Shooting article – the cop was cool enough to hand a civilian volunteer a rifle and deputized him on the elevator ride. I’ve know some cops who might do that, but not many.

    1. hayeksplosives

      I can’t imagine that happening these days. But glad it did at the time.

      Sorry to see that those heros’ lives have not necessarily gone so smoothly since then. Hope things get better for them.

  24. mexican sharpshooter

    I’m gong to toss out a sports related link. Tyrone Woodley demands public apology from UFC President Dana White.

    White went on to say that Woodley “didn’t want to take the risks” and said of the reigning UFC welterweight champion, “you ask fans if they want to see Woodley fight again, I think that will be a flat out no.”

    I agree with Dana. Woodley’s fights are boring as hell, nobody paid $60 on PPV to see him fight last weekend, they paid to see Cyborg beat up some chick UFC appeared to dig up from a trailer park and especially to see Daniel Cormier eat John Jones’ shin. I paid $200 to see Woodley live in Las Vegas, only to watch him dance around with Wonderboy Thompson. I mean that literally, I only recall one exchange of punches in the 5th round. The crowd rightly booed them both.

    1. Count Potato

      IT’S GOING TO MAKE THE FRIGGIN’ FROGS GAY!!

    2. John Titor

      The best part of that interview is when he refuses the offer of a joint with “No thanks, that stuff makes me paranoid.”

      1. Behold!

        There is no way Alex Jones is not simply performing. He’s very good at performing (see catching Megan Kelly, his success with InfoWars) but I refuse to believe he could say that without a hint of irony.

        1. DOOMco

          I still think he’s Bill Hicks

        2. John Titor

          According to his lawyer in his custody battle he is “just playing a character”. Now that may just be lawyerspeak but my response was “no shit, Sherlock”.

  25. Count Potato

    “Fergie, 42, showcases her ‘lovely lady lumps’ and toned tummy in skimpy string bikini on the beach”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4750704/Fergie-showcases-lovely-lady-lumps-skimpy-bikini.html

    1. Pope Jimbo

      meh.

      I was at Wisconsin Dells last weekend and I saw plenty of women at least that good wandering around the water park.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Dells is on the list. I gave my 6 year old that option for a vacation this summer, and he unwisely turned it down.

        1. SP

          He was just afraid to come that close to OMWC after what happened last time.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          It sort of grates on my nerves. I grew up in a tourist trap and going to the Dells makes me feel like I’m one of the stupid rubes that is there to get skinned.

          On the other hand, the water parks there are pretty insane. As a kid, I would have been the most annoying little shit in the world begging for a chance to go to a water park like the Wilderness in the winter.

          We went to the Kalahari with our old Swiss neighbors. The boys had been there when they were all much smaller (like 8 years ago), so this was sort of an Old Home vacation. It was fun to watch the boys (who are actually young men) all want to ditch the parents so that they could talk to all the young women there. My wife refused to believe that her babies would engage in such behavior.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Great, except for the part where that’s not a string bikini.

  26. DOOMco

    Should I watch the cenk/shaprio debate?

    1. Behold!

      Meh, I did and didn’t get anything out of it. Cenk was going full on “my feels,” talking points, sniping comments at the audience and Kansas, etc. Shapiro was alright, but the debate didn’t feel like a debate between smart people, it felt like a debate between talking heads. None of the points they covered was new, so I’d advise instead using the time to watch some of Thomas Sowell or Milton Friedman’s old debates.

      1. DOOMco

        That was my worry.
        I knew cenk would go that route, but hoped ben would keep him on line.

    2. John Titor

      Rape porn is not generally tolerated on this Family Friendly website.

      In all seriousness, it’s not really worth it unless you want to see Cenk constantly flounder. This was clearly a mismatch because Shapiro is way out of his league, the only thing Cenk can really do is shitty sophistry and attempting to appeal to the audience (he literally starts chanting ‘USA, USA, USA’ at one point). I didn’t really get anything out of it, didn’t really get any new perspectives, and in general it felt less like a debate and more like Shapiro throwing out some relevant data points and Cenk just strawmanning and going off on tangents.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Pics of ENB eating finger sandwiches at the last Cosmos cocktail party?

          1. DOOMco

            She really doesn’t like sammy jokes.

  27. The Other Kevin

    The county fair in that article is about a mile down the road from me. The guy was hospitalized because the other carnies beat the shit out of him.

  28. Pan Zagloba

    Hey, speaking of opioid crisis, you know what would help? A government shakedown.

    Ottawa pushed to prosecute Purdue Pharma over ‘deceptive’ marketing of OxyContin

    As part of a Canada-wide settlement announced in May following a class-action lawsuit, Purdue Pharma (Canada) agreed to pay $20 million — including $2 million to provincial health plans — over how the company marketed and sold its pain medications OxyContin and OxyNEO.

    “There may be a concern on the part of provincial governments that this would be a long, costly and uncertain legal battle. However, at same time, evidence seems fairly clear from an outsider point of view that there was some exaggerated claims about this particular drug and how safe it was.”

    It’s hard not to come to the conclusion that the deal is “inadequate,” Herder said, given that the company profited more than $30 billion from OxyContin.

  29. Brett L

    Oh shit. Bob Barker died in a fall.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Holy shit

    2. Playa Manhattan
      1. John Titor

        The price is wrong, bitch.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        Holy shit

      3. Florida Man

        Is Abe Vigoda’s website available?

      4. Brett L

        Well, I’m glad. I hope he’s still working his way through at least 3 Price is Right models a week.

    3. John Titor

      With the amount of cancer that guy had 94 is not bad at all.

    4. Gilmore

      Come on down!

    5. He’s sexually harassing the models in heaven now.

  30. Gilmore

    a lawsuit filed by a man named Rod Wheeler that makes a remarkable claim: The Trump White House — or President Trump personally — may have been aware of or involved in a discredited Fox News story about the killing of a Democratic National Committee staffer last July. It’s a complicated story that, we hasten to add, is based on allegations in a lawsuit filed by a person whose quotes in that discredited story were themselves discredited

    Of course they’re going to cite exactly the detail that discredits these things, right?

    (continues reading)

    the best i can tell is that they think “fox news” was interested in the story, therefore it is lies.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      And dats all da discrediting weez needz.

    2. Behold!

      Those idiots really need to drop this story hard and fast. Trying to tie Trump into this is just going to bring more attention to a shady story that, even if the actors involved really are completely innocent, looks really really bad for them. They’re trading a short term zing at Trump for shining light on a story the DNC desperately wants everyone to memory hole.

      1. one true athena

        The third result when you click on the Trend that Twitter is pushing, is Roger Stone alleging the DWS IT guy was partying with Rich the night he died. So yeah, if this is their plan to ‘make it go away” uh, lol, good job wapo.

  31. KibbledKristen

    Did not overhear anything fun a 711 this afternoon. There’s always tomorrow…

    1. Florida Man

      Do you just hangout in 7/11’s, bothering the customers?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        And playing video games.

    2. RAHeinlein

      Delta Tau Chi name – Libertarian Woman with Big Gulp

    3. Gilmore

      I need a latin or otherwise clinical-medical-term for “sexually aroused by police-car-chases on TV”

      OJ-Broncophilia is the best i can do

      1. RAHeinlein

        Primary Nymphoadamduodecim?

      2. Vhyrus

        Kibblephilia, named after absolutely no one in particular.

      3. Behold!

        Spectarevigilsecitmaleficocurru Adrigare

        (Literally: To become sexually aroused by watching police chase criminals by chariot)

    4. Vhyrus

      How do you have time to leave your house between car chases?

    5. KibbledKristen

      Where do you people get your smokes and Big Gulps? HUH?

      I watch police chases at work, duh!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        You do work for the GOV/ right?

        1. KibbledKristen

          Not anymore, sucka! The gubmint does buy a bunch of our products, though.

  32. Pope Jimbo

    We love science bitchez!

    Court overrules the Fish & Wildlife Service and blocked the attempt to remove them from the endangered species list. One of the reasons was that they hadn’t spread to the Dakotas.

    “The second highest court in the nation reaffirmed that we must do much more to recover gray wolves before declaring the mission accomplished,” said Noah Greenwald, endangered species program director at the Center for Biological Diversity. “Wolves are still missing from more than 90 percent of their historic range in the lower 48 states, and both the Endangered Species Act and common sense tell us we can’t ignore that loss.”

    So I guess that Noah won’t be happy until wolves are wandering local neighborhoods.

    1. SP

      I see depredation reports from the Wisconsin Wildlife Services. Literally every other day, wolves have killed livestock and/or house pets, including large dogs.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Minnesoda regularly pays big money to cover the costs to the farmers.

        That is just for livestock though. I have no idea how they factor in the number of deer that they kill or pets that go missing.

    2. Akira

      So every organism has to return to its “historic range”? Are they going to repopulate southern Europe with lions like it was in ancient Greek and Roman times?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        No Mammoth. No Justice!

        1. Behold!

          No no no, it has to be a two liner with a catchy line. Do you even activist?

          No Mammoth, no pliosaur,
          No Justice anymore!

          1. Behold!

            *Catchy rhyme. And John

      2. hayeksplosives

        Some creatures were meant to go extinct, or at least there is a time and circumstance where they have outlived their suitability to exist.

        Thus the need for such well meaning non-profits as “Pistols for Pandas”

  33. Fatty Bolger

    ROGER STONE: SETH RICH WAS PARTYING WITH IMRAN AWAN ON THE NIGHT OF HIS MURDER

    Keeps getting weirder. And elsewhere on the intertubes there’s a picture floating around purporting to be Awan at the bar with Rich the night of his murder. Could be a photoshop, or from another time, who the fuck knows. I do know we can trust the MSM to do everything they can to NOT get to the bottom of this.

      1. Fatty Bolger

        Here’s an interesting tie:

        House IT Aide’s Lawyer Is Longtime Clinton Associate
        http://dailysignal.com/2017/07/26/imran-awans-lawyer-is-longtime-clinton-associate/

  34. Raven Nation

    Re: the Texas campus law. I know a guy who teaches at a TX college. He’s been looking for another job for a while but he told me last year he was really desperate now because he didn’t want to be shot by one of his students. Yeah, because, with one exception, all the recent campus shootings took place on campuses where firearms were banned.

    He’s not the only person I know who is worried about this. I have friends who teach in other states who were fearful that allowing students to bring guns to campus would lead to students threatening professors with guns to change their grades. As one said, it’s bad enough now when a big football player pressures you, imagine what would happen with a gun. First, he could already beat the snot out of you but didn’t. Second, do you really believe there are a large number of students that want their grades change and the only thing that has stopped them threatening you is that stupid no gun sign?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      When I want to shoot someone, I wait for permission.

      I’m sorry, but that’s just how I was raised.

    2. SP

      My parents were both professors at a pretty rural university. EVERYONE on that campus had rifles and shotguns in racks in their pickups all year long. And, yet, not once has someone been shot on that campus.

      So tired of idiots.

  35. Pope Jimbo

    Ten year anniversary of the 35W bridge collapse is today.

    Long thumbsucker on how the bridge collapsed and the GOP is so mean that they refuse to raise taxes to pay for “rapidly crumbling infrastructure”. No mention that the collapse was the perfect storm of a design flaw, lots of super heavy construction equipment, and a very hot day. Taxes can solve all that

    Cool pics of the collapse, though.

    That bridge is nowhere near my commute home. When I got home, our phone was buzzing all night with people checking in to see if it was my fat ass that broke the bridge.

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Minnesota U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar made a simple but powerful statement: “A bridge in America shouldn’t just fall down.”

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Tacoma Narrows sez “Hi!”

        1. Chipwooder

          So does the Silver Bridge in Point Pleasant WV, which collapsed in 1967.

      2. Vhyrus

        That’s funny. I remember watching Newt Gingrich on C-Span shortly after that happened, and he said exactly the same thing. I guess he wasn’t a republican then.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        Only in London?

    2. Raven Nation

      ““rapidly crumbling infrastructure”.

      So, the infrastructure was ignored for the last 8 years?

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        So, the infrastructure was ignored for the last 8 years?

        No, it was recovering using the same forces that caused the sea levels to recede. But then, you know – DRUMPF.

    3. DEG

      Taxes can solve all that

      Taxes are magic.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    it’s bad enough now when a big football player pressures you, imagine what would happen with a gun.

    imagine what would happen if a student offered to blow you. Talk about pressure.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      So what did you do?

    2. Worker and Parasite

      Sure, I’m flattered, maybe even a little curious… but the answer is no!

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        You the man Homer!

    3. Pope Jimbo

      As a small, easily intimidated beta male, why wouldn’t you want your own gun to protect yourself against that big football player?

      I mean, if a gun helps women protect themselves, I’m sure it would work for you too.

      1. trshmnstr

        As with everything else, they’re projecting their pent up violent impulses on other people. They don’t trust themselves with a gun, so nobody should have one.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    So what did you do?

    I woke up, goddammit.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    It was an internet issue. And I accept and encourage expressions of hobo sexuality.

    Damned hobosexuals! Why can’t you let decent people live in peace?

    1. SugarFree

      Some hobos can be very erotic. For example, did you know that it is part of The Hobo Code to never orphan the balls?

        1. AlmightyJB

          Wtf… Lol

    1. AlmightyJB

      So would

    2. DEG

      Would. I’m surprised youtube also hasn’t shut her down.

      1. AlmightyJB

        She’s good for business

  39. DEG

    I decided to have some wine tonight instead of beer. I opened a bottle of Ampelos Neronet that I brought back from the Czech Republic last year. The cork fell apart when I tried removing the cork. The wine smelled OK, but there was an odd taste I didn’t like. I dumped the bottle.

    Then I opened a bottle of Dornfelder from Pfalz and it’s pretty good.

  40. Fatty Bolger

    DWS: Best boss ever!

    Democratic Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz seemingly planned to pay cyber-probe suspect and IT aide Imran Awan even while he was living in Pakistan, if the FBI hadn’t stopped him from leaving the U.S. Monday. Public statements and congressional payroll records suggest she also appears to have known that his wife, a fellow IT staffer, left the country for good months ago — while she was also a criminal suspect.

    In all, six months of actions reveal a decision to continue paying a man who seemingly could not have been providing services to her, and who a mountain of evidence suggests was a liability. The man long had access to all of Wasserman Schultz’s computer files, work emails and personal emails, and he was recently accused by a relative in court documents of wiretapping and extortion.

    All out of the goodness of her heart, too. What a gal.

    1. Vhyrus

      Am I wrong to want to organize an armed insurrection over this? I don’t feel wrong about it.

      1. hayeksplosives

        I am with you on this one. Here’s the part I really don’t get:

        That laptop was found in an unused crevice of a House office building and seized as evidence by the Capitol Police, but Wasserman Schultz appeared determined to not let police see its contents, threatening “consequences” for the police chief if he didn’t release it. The exchange was captured on video.

        Fox News reported that months later, she had blocked them from looking at it but had become open to “negotiating” with police, possibly turning over certain files, as Hillary Clinton was permitted to do in deciding which emails were “personal.”

        If the capital police had physical possession of the laptop, how the heck did W-S manage to to “block them from looking at it”??

        1. Akira

          had become open to “negotiating” with police, possibly turning over certain files, as Hillary Clinton was permitted to do in deciding which emails were “personal.”

          I don’t get it… When the cops suspect that someone has child porn, they don’t ask him to turn over all the devices and give him the opportunity to remove any “personal” data first. They kick the fucking door down, turn the house upside-down until they’re sure they’ve found every single electronic device capable of storing images, then they have IT specialists examine every single byte, even the ones that are deleted and are probably inaccessible to the average computer user.

          Politicians truly live above the law.

          1. hayeksplosives

            It’s disgusting. Either the capitol cops really felt threatened by what DWS could do to them (which is scary in itself) or they sympathize with her “cause” of protecting the Democrats (which is infuriating).

            You think they would hand over Sean Spicer’s laptop if they thought there was something damaging to Trump on there?

          2. Gilmore

            I don’t get it…

            The mayor is part of the DNC. The cops want to keep their jobs.

          3. westernsloper

            Capitol Police do not belong to the city do they? I think it is a “protect the ruling class” thing and frankly I am getting sick of it.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          Why did they describe it as a “crevice”?

          Didn’t they spackle it into the drywall because they were unable to sneak it out?

          1. hayeksplosives

            Good question. It’s vague. I guess we will need to read more reports on Reuters, CNN, NBC, CBS….

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

          2. westernsloper

            I pictured beams. As in steel beams that make a truss with rivets and stuff. Off white paint. Almost vanilla. Something you need a ladder to get to. Not lit well with shadows. Hidden behind a plastic plant. But then again, I have an active imagination.

        3. westernsloper

          She invoked the constitution. The speech and debate clause. I don’t get it. She is not the one under investigation, although she probably should be, but they bought that. The more I pay attention the more I realize there is no such thing as equal protection.

    2. Mad Scientist

      Why would she possibly continue paying this guy unless she HAD to?

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Unlike you shitlords, she believes in living wage for everyone!

        1. hayeksplosives

          As in, I will pay you this wage so I can live in the style to which I am accustomed.

    3. AlmightyJB

      I have my pick for the Death Pool.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Good luck finding someone to bet against you.

        What do you reckon, another weight training accident, random mugging, suicide…?

    4. Pope Jimbo

      What a shitlord!

      You missed the money shot. Even someone as heroic and woke as DWS, was in the end just a cog in the Patriarchy. Sure she paid him, but she stiffed his wife!

      Awan’s wife, Hina, left the country under similar circumstances March 5, after withdrawing the couple’s three kids from school without telling Virginia education officials, packing up all of her possessions, and hiding $12,000 in cash, according to an FBI affidavit. She allegedly had hundreds of thousands of dollars waiting in Pakistan for her — money the FBI says Awan had obtained partly through mortgage fraud and had wired overseas using a false explanation.

      Two days later, on March 7, House records show Hina was cut from Wasserman Schultz’s payroll.

    5. KibbledKristen

      Hillary never fired anyone, either! Great boss! The best!

      1. Fatty Bolger

        Oh yeah! She’s such a sweetheart, too. Nobody treats employees with more kindness or respect than Hillary. Everybody says so.

  41. trshmnstr

    Well, I got the laptop back up and running. As suspected, it was a graphics card driver issue. I was able to recover all the data using a live USB and reimaged the laptop. For some reason, it wouldn’t let me change sessions to a commandline, so I couldn’t fix the original image.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      What’s a driver?

  42. KibbledKristen

    Was checking out the Taos trail map to see if I could handle skiing there, and their web site says their high today was 57 degrees. *cries*

    Why do I live in this beastly swamp flatlander hellhole???

    1. Raven Nation

      Punishment for sins of a past life?

    2. Playa Manhattan

      That’s an anomaly.

      Medford, Oregon is going to be 114 tomorrow.

      Things will get back to normal soon.

    3. 57 isn’t cold enough for snow.

      1. KibbledKristen

        NO!!!! WHAT??

  43. westernsloper

    You know, I never believed that the Clintons were involved in the Seth Rich murders until today.

    I don’t even know what to think of that article. Seriously? Trump has something to do with that story because he may have known about a story? As pointed out above, are they that stupid that dragging this up will not bring it into focus?

    Here are a few things the WaPo left out of their timeline.

    Rod Wheeler, was contacted by former DNC Chair and CNN pundit Donna Brazile and confronted and asked why he was working on the Seth Rich case.

    I didn’t see Donnas name mentioned.

    1. KibbledKristen
      1. westernsloper

        Well, who doesn’t like lesbians. What is that quote from? The Daily Beast article?

        1. KibbledKristen

          Lesbians is one thing, gangs of 9mm-armed lesbians terrorizing a city is another.

          (it’s from the DB article)

          1. westernsloper

            I hate to ask the obvious question, but what where said gun toting lesbians wearing?

          2. KibbledKristen

            You could Tweet to Wheeler and ask him. Given the oddness and specificity of his fantasy, my guess would be something along the lines of “sexy Yiffer”

    1. westernsloper

      I once read, “The end is near” written on the wall of a job site portolet. Underneath it I scrawled, “It’s about time, this shit is getting old”. I feel the same way now that the facebook AI will soon destroy us all. I welcome our new overlords fascinated with balls that will destroy the planet.

  44. KibbledKristen

    Brilliant plan! Kick out the people that are actually paying for shit!

    1. Sukkoi19

      The look on Tucker’s face was priceless.

  45. KibbledKristen