ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ WAS FEELING DOWN ABOUT LEAVING THE FIGURE 8 RACING CIRCUIT. A BRUTAL COWORKER SUGGESTED I LISTEN TO SOME OF WHAT BRUTALS HERE CALL “COUNTRY” MUSIC, TO HELP. ZARDOZ THOUGHT ABOUT CALLING FOR BRUTAL ENFORCERS INSTEAD, BUT DECIDED TO LISTEN. ZARDOZ WAS STRANGELY MOVED. ZARDOZ WILL PONDER THIS, WHILE HIS CHOSEN ONES CAN REVEL IN THE GIFT OF THE LINK:
- ZARDOZ THINKS INDONESIAN BRUTALS SHOULD HAVE CONTACTED HIM, SO AS TO LEND THEM BRUTAL ENFORCERS. CLEANSING MONKEYS IS CLOSE TO CLEANSING BRUTALS, YES?
- “THE GREATEST ERROR IS TO LIVE IN MEXICO AND TO BE A JOURNALIST”… ZARDOZ MIGHT NEED TO GIVE THEM THE GIFT OF THE GUN.
- THIS BRUTAL HAS RECEIVED THE GIFT OF THE GUN…AND USED IT! ZARDOZ IS A BIT DISAPPOINTED IT WAS NOT USED TO CLEANSE FELLOW BRUTALS, YET.
- ZARDOZ AGAIN OFFERS HIS BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS….TO BOTH SIDES OF THIS SILLY BRUTAL ARGUMENT.
Comments
252 responses to “ZARDOZ FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS”
First?
in space.
#3.
GIANT GUN?! ASSAULT RIFLE?! It’s a goddamn 9mm hipoint! Fuck my fucking life.
Beat me to it.
Yeah. That’s the Walmart of guns.
Also, would. Her, not the gun.
‘Also, would. Her, not the gun.’
You lack imagination, young man.
I sense bunny-boiler. Use an alias.
Cute girl. I sense much stripper from her. And much drug use. Or some other brain-addler that caused her to not cover up whatever that tat is on her right shoulder.
Fayetteville, NC, so soldier’s girlfriend? Too thin to be a true dependapotomus, but that could be the drugs.
Too thin to be a true dependapotomus
*falls over laughing*
Good Lord, I remember back during Gulf War I – the interview with an E-4’s 300lbs wife while kids are crawling over her and furniture compared to the 1984 or so Miss South Carolina gently dabbing tears in an immaculate home hoping her brave F15 pilot husband will be safe.
To the zipper-suited Sun Gods go the spoils. Though I thought the beauty queens usually waited until the guy made it with the airlines or went into business afterwards.
I’d thought it was just a Terminal Lance meme, but I’ve actually seen it as a popular look in some of the more “rural” towns NE of Houston: thin, kinda’ methhead-looking younger white male, sparse weedy mustache and blotchy skin, orbiting some slightly older, epically fat woman in sweat pants (Rascal blubber buggy optional), with a Pig Pen-esque cloud of ill behaved dirty children flitting in and out of the area.
An orrery of poverty.
The Hi-Point hottie!
I have the older one in .40 cal. Would both.
And 2nd?
Not sure if this is old news, or not. But…
Maxine!
Umm, Maxine, put down that bottle of wine and those pills. I don’t think you even know how impeachment works. In fact, I don’t even think you know what it is. Ok, sorry, not meaning to accuse anyone of being a pill popping lush, but no one is that stupid. Right?
You say “pill-popping lush” as though it were a bad thing.
It is after it’s done significant brain damage.
All them crackas look alike.
Polly wanna honkie!
Lemme make a cocktail with which to wash down this Vicodin before I weigh in on this discussion…
Sounds like a puke sandwich to me. Of course, the Vicodin would do that to me without anything added. I would suggest secobarbital with your cocktail instead. Not that I would know how that works. A friend of a friend who’s cousin’s friend that my friend doesn’t know, said something about it.
Long Island Tea and Vike for me! Just can’t overdo the alcohol since the Vike has acetaminophen.
Vicodin seems to work very differently for some folks than for others. Some get hyper, some get sleepy; I just enjoy the fact that the extreme pain bothers me less.
I can’t touch any opioid or I will get deathly sick. I mean like the most horrible sick you can imagine.
That is both the saddest thing and the luckiest thing ive read all day.
Ditto. They gave me demerol once, and I tried to jump out the window. (there wasn’t a window)
And some get constipated. You can keep your opioids thanks.
My intake is too limited to experience those effects, thank goodness. I go weeks without needing a vicodin, then I’ll have a really awful week where I take a few, then I’m good for a while again. I go through 30-40 pills a year, so it’s quite manageable.
But, man, when the psoriatic arthritis flares up and your joints feel like they are going to explode, you cannot ignore that shit.
That’s actually what happened to my wife when she was in the hospital and they gave her oxycontin for pain. But somehow I think that’s merciful compared to what I will experience if I take that shit.
But no remorse, there are plenty of available drugs that relax me, one of them is even legal! I mean as far as pain medicine I don’t know, I’ve been lucky to not have had that level of pain so far. But I’m willing to bet I can make up my own cocktail, if ever needed, that contains no opiates.
5mg of oxycontin will leave me lying on the bathroom floor puking for hours. I can’t even take codeine cough syrup. I knew that from an experience as a child, but many years later, I forgot and when they asked me if I have any bad reactions to oxy, I didn’t really know so said no. You do not soon forget being that damn sick.
Hayeks, have you tried Embrel or Taltz? I had a bad case of chronic psoriasis (not with much arthritis, thank God) that I’m now getting over, and Taltz was a Godsend.
I still can’t figure out why TPTB care about pill clinics. Why could you possibly care about addicts (let’s just assume they are for the argument) who are peacefully obtaining their drugs and going about their days, without robbing, thugging, and other scumbag behavior?
Never understood it.
Because people are getting high in a way not approved by the State.
I broke a bunch of ribs last year and was prescribed that. I was alone and secluded for the most part then decided to go visit some people. When I got in the airport I was freaked. Total panic attack until I could get a beer in me. That shit aint for me. Helped me get some sleep though thru some pretty bad pain.
Also, this is appropriate.
The chinese guy was wobbed!
Can we at least get some basic cognitive testing for Congresscritters over the age of 70? Looking at various pronouncements from Waters, Pelosi, and McCain this year makes it pretty clear that marbles have been misplaced.
No, no, no… I want for Pelosi and Waters to run in 2020 and win. McCain and Graham will be known as their Oval Office pets. I’ll let SF take it from here.
And you were talking about puke sandwich BEFORE!
Yes. Sigh. She is that stupid, and somebody that stupid is in Congress, and she’s not alone.
THIS BRUTALS HAS RECEIVED THE GIFT OF THE GUN
Is she a nude nun?
Exorcism Doctor, by CNN, the Ministry of Truth
CNN, only reporting the real news, every day.
“There was one woman who was like 90 pounds soaking wet. She threw a Lutheran deacon who was about 200 pounds across the room,” he says. “That’s not psychiatry. That’s beyond psychiatry.”
A real journalist would have spotted the truth here right away, obviously she was on the marijuana. Even a cop would know that.
I think you mean bath salts.
Ah, another one who doesn’t realize the true dangers of the marijuana. Once a 30 kilo Mexican high on pot and ass sex, took a cop car full of cops and hurled it into space!
A BRUTAL COWORKER SUGGESTED I LISTEN TO SOME OF WHAT BRUTALS HERE CALL “COUNTRY” MUSIC
What about the other genre of music?
Western? Yeah, we got ’em both.
This English style IPA is a very good beer.
English by way of Canada?
Yes.
P.E.I. is pretty bloody English. It’s like the English countryside time forgot. Except the Japanese, they’re everywhere.
That’s kind of how I felt about Victoria.
Which is why I loved Victoria.
(self confessed Anglophile here. Well, before the English lost the will to live anyway)
It felt like Scotlandtown.
Gotta love James A. FitzPatrick.
In what sense? Native or tourist kind,
Tourist. Apparently they’re really into the Anne of Green Gables stuff for some godforsaken reason.
I heard “Anne of Green Gables” is required reading in Japanese schools. For some reason, instead of hating it because it required reading, the Japanese love it.
If they’re anything like the Japanese tourists from The Man Who Knew Too Little then they’re cool.
There is a large Acadian contingent on the island. Road signs are in English and French.
I haven’t been to England, but I’ll guess John is referring to the rolling hills and farms. Lots of both.
The only tourists I talked to there were German.
Wild Turkey 101. I have a shit summer cold and sore throat. The 101 straight with lemon works for me every time. Feelz ze burn!
Had a couple of these with dinner last night. I’ve had it multiple times before. Really good beer.
http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/73/228/
I’ve had that before. It’s very good beer.
Went to our regular bar after dinner and the bar manager gave me a sample of this because he knew I loved Golden Monkey. Sours are usually a little too vinegary for me but this seemed pretty balanced. Next time I’ll try a pint and give a report.
https://www.victorybeer.com/beers/sour-monkey/
Victory is one of my favorite breweries. I also love their Storm King stout.
I love Storm King. I haven’t had it in a while.
I’ll look for Golden Monkey.
They will sneak up on you for sure
Golden Monkey is a great beer. Make sure you read the label before having too many.
One of the terrible bottle shops near me had the Sour Monkey on clearance for $5 a bottle. I cleaned them out of the stock they had on the shelf.
I’ve got a can of this on deck for tonight. Then tomorrow is the MS Buckeye Breakaway where I’m signed up for the 75 mile ride down as part of Team Left Hand.
I’ve been trying to get my hands on one of those for years.
My buddy brought back a suitcase full intending to give me a few, but he drank them all.
Ebay has them going for about 50 bucks per 4pack.
This is my first can, which was provided to me from a co-worker. If I ever score some more, I’ll gladly send you some. Another option would be to hit up some of the trade forums on the beer sites and offer up some Russian River beers for it.
Just tell me this:
Does it really taste like a 100?
It’s really good, and I can see why people are trying to replicate it. Lots of fruit and citrus notes from the hops, without the big bitter finish that most IIPA’s have. At 8%, it’s very drinkable, with no noticeable alcohol burn. At $12 a can, I’d be annoyed, since I can get a sixer of an IIPA for that price. I’d rank it up there with the Stone and Alesmith (I)IPA’s for quality.
50 bucks for four beers!?!?!1111?!?!
You know how many PBRs you can get for $50? (I don’t either)
It’s that good, unfortunately. I dunno if it’s a 100. That’s for stuff like aged Tom Hardy’s Ale, etc… Call it a solid 95.
A relative lives in MA, and brought some here when he visited. Lawson’s Liquids Sip of Sunshine is really good too.
A coworker of mine used to head up to Vermont to get some. He had to time it right or they’d be out before he got there.
Waht is a double IPA. Sounds like it is so hoppy it will crawl off the table and kick you in the nuts.
A double IPA (DIPA) or an Imperial IPA (IIPA) are both the same thing. They’re more aggressively hopped then a standard American IPA with IBU’s (International Bitterness Units) generally starting at the 75 range (for comparison, a Pilsner is usually around 25-40 and your standard light American lager is around 10). They’ll also generally start with a higher ABV, usually ~7.5%. They’ll have a bit more balance then expected by the IBU’s due to a higher original gravity and alcohol content.
If you don’t like hops and bitterness, it’s not a style that you would probably enjoy. The modern ones also focus heavily on the American hop strains as well as new experimental ones which will emphasize tropical fruit or citrus notes.
Ok, thanks. Ya, that is not my thing. I haven’t had a hoppy strong beer I like yet. I have yet to not try a beer though.
A Drinker is a Stinker!
This is what the RINO Republicans voted for:
Under Obamacare, prolife pregnancy center must provide certain drugs for its employees – drugs the center believes to be abortifacients
Federal appeals court says the pregnancy center can’t get a religious exemption like the Little Sisters of the Poor because they’re not a religious institution
The head of the center, Kevin Bagatta, explained the stakes on an earlier occasion:
““Real Alternatives, a secular, nonreligious, nonprofit company, administers programs on behalf of three states to operate pregnancy and parenting support services programs to assist women to choose childbirth instead of feeling they have to have an abortion. Real Alternatives believes the science is undeniable that abortion ends the life of a human person and as a matter of conscience is wrong,” he said back then.
“Bagatta continued: “The government is forcing Real Alternatives to purchase insurance coverage that covers devices that can cause an abortion. This government requirement forces Real Alternatives to violate its stated mission and its underlying purpose for its existence.”
““By analogy, this would be no different than if the government would require the American Lung Association to purchase cigarettes for its employees. It would run completely counter to the entire corporate philosophy, purpose, and mission of the American Lung Association,” he said. “Real Alternatives is conferring with its attorney’s to decide the next steps to take to prevent this government intrusion and over reach.””
I almost forgot this part:
“Real Alternatives had excluded payment for abortion-causing drugs from its health insurance plan since 2008, and was able to continue doing so until 2014 because its plan was “grandfathered” against requirements of Obamacare. But the insurer eventually opted to discontinue the plan, and after 2014 Real Alternatives was unable to buy coverage that didn’t include those drugs.”
Wasn’t this sort of thing already settled by Burwell v. Hobby Lobby?
https://pilotonline.com/news/government/politics/virginia/republican-donor-from-virginia-beach-sues-gop-accusing-the-party/article_f7e5e7ec-f6ad-5d09-90d5-29774701b0c2.amp.html
It’s cute that he thinks politicians will actually do what that say they’ll do while campaigning for office.
Also, he needs to get a real life and stop acting like hysterical Democrats. It’s only 6 months into Trump’s term. Something will get done. It will probably not be what libertarians really want, but something will happen. It took more than a year for Obama’s Democrats to pass the ACA if I am not mistaken. Yet the Democrats scream victory every time the GOP fails a repeal by one vote. McCain could keel over tomorrow (I didn’t ‘say’ I wish that, well at least not today).
I wish I were the plumber for the RNC. “Oh, I thought you wanted me to flood your offices with sewer. Trust me on this. You’ll hire me again.”
Sewage.
Oh, I bet they’re forming a team of Plumbers even now.
Doomed to fail. Bet they’re not even union. Fucking scabs.
Right to Work is the worst thing to ever happen to this country.
THIS BRUTAL HAS RECEIVED THE GIFT OF THE GUN…AND USED IT!
I’m sure it was an emergency, like her phone broke and she needed to insta some duckface selfies stat.
If she wanted to hold my gun, I would’ve let her use mine.
Good thing she didn’t have any identifying marks… like say an ugly tattoo on her right shoulder.
Keke
“The greatest error is to live in Mexico and to be a journalist,” Valdez wrote in one of his many books on narco-violence.
He took some good shit when he wrote that sentence.
Perhaps he meant “terror” instead of “error”.
Either way, it sounds romantic and sooo third worldy.
Is there any greater indictment of Western culture than the fact that the Emoji movie exists? And apparently has ‘progressive values’?
And they have Patrick Stewart playing a piece of shit (literally)! Because why not ?
Then again, which movie doesn’t have ‘progressive values’? Kingsmen? (spoiler: ending)
Well apparently the ‘progressive values’ in this literally has a female Emoji complaining about how there used to not be female Emojis? Or something? I don’t know, apparently blood Emojis are a big deal. And just looking at clips from the movie I’m surprised to learn that schools allow students to have cellphones at their desk.
I’m starting to get to that point in my life in regards to youth culture that you old fucks are probably very familiar with.
The older you get, the more you get used to it! Welcome!
Man, I love that movie. Cannot wait for the sequel. Please be just as good!
Have you seen the trailer? HOLY SHIT!
YES. So much holy shit going on there. Oh man.
Literally what I say every time a see the poster at the theatre. I want to believe, but I cannot afford to be hurt again!
Galahad must now fight against the new U.S. President, a man who financed his campaign with secret Nazi gold, who is attempting to pull Britain away from the EU and cause the European economy to collapse in order to vastly enrich himself.
I WILL CUT YOU!
Hey, I could be making decent scratch writing progderp scripts in L.A. and selling my soul until I’m nothing more than a bitter, depressed drunk (well, moreso than currently). But I will not use my powers for evil.
“Please be at least as good of a sequel as John Wick 2 was… Please! Hear my prayer movie gods!”
Now I’m fucking angry
I want to see that.
“The Emoji movie is almost as bad and brutally depressing as everything else in 2017.”
And so is your review. JFC, unless you’re writing that from somewhere like, say, Mosul, STFU.
Girl is adorable
SAUDI PRINCE OFFERS 200 CAMELS TO SPEND A NIGHT WITH IVANKA TRUMP
Low balling bastard. In past administrations, Saudi princes paid at least that much for a chaste night in the Lincoln bedroom.
“Well, if the Trumps won’t take your camels off your hands, can I have a couple?” /Sessions
ALTERNATE JOKE: “Saudi Prince, seeking variety, wants to trade camels for Ivanka.”
Boy, is he gonna be mad when he realized that Ivanka bites, spits, and retains water, too.
Still would
Wait, this isn’t some random Saudi prince, this is “31-year old Mohammed bin Salman, whom King Salman has entrusted with the key defense and economic policy portfolios.”
What are the odds he was joking? Or will soon be claiming he was?
Of course he was joking. Was disrespectful though given his post. If I were Trump I would definately respond with “why, are you tired of breeding with your 200 camels asshole”.
We need shitposting and trolling like this in international relations! May that be the great enduring Trump legacy.
Kekistan will rise!
“How would he feel if I said his daughter was so ugly she’d want to wear a potato sack even if it wasn’t required by your retarded backwards laws? Not that I’d say such an undiplomatic thing because I have class unlike some people. Sad.”
F’ing normies
That’s not a parody account?
I didn’t realize that a joke site.
http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/
Put your mouse over the link in my comment.
Wow, it’s hard to tell the real ones from the fake ones any more.
Very true. I showed this site to my kids to make the point that just because it looks like news, don’t assume what you are reading is true – and that includes news from “legitimate” sources as well. You must use critical thinking and corroboration from sources with opposing viewpoints if you want to get anywhere near the actual truth.
When I saw the part about how Trump hadn’t responded, I should have recognized it as fake.
Not responded, my ass.
That’s funny, Eddie. “Not responded my ass”
Listen to my ass while it responds
“We both come from great lineage. Our offspring would certainly be an exceptional foal.”
Pick-up line from a couple centuries back there.
A whole carton of cigarettes? That seems low.
Trump reminds this writer of her racist neighbor and Adolf Hitler…all three of them used the term “cosmopolitan.”
The new n word?
So did Helen Gurley Brown. Was she a Nazi too?
Good one.
Is Cosmopolitan a German word?
So, no gypsies or their houses are allowed in the park.
You know who else didn’t like gypsies?
Thompson and Thomson, in The Castafiore Emerald?
Everyone
Those were gypsies? I would’ve expected more bandanas and eyeliner.
British “travelers”. Not the same as the Roma, but kindred spirit. More like American carnies, I’d think. But the people in the story called them gypsies, and that’s good enough for me.
I was thinking about changing my avatar to FA Hayek in a top hat, but before I bother photoshopping, I thought I’d be lazy and search the webs for Hayek Top Hat.
This is what came up.
I’m not saying I would, I’m not saying I wouldn’t. Ok. I’m saying I would. Sigh.
Hawt
On the other hand, her feet have been in contact with Quentin Tarantino’s mouth. *Shiver*
Also she’ll eat you.
Also she’ll eat you.
How else would have “would” worked?
According to a link a day or two ago no one really knows what lesbians do.
I do. I’ve seen movies.
I have a list of everything lesbians do saved as google search bookmarks.
I assume this (should be safe for work) is the top match?
Those are fakes created by the secret lesbian cabal to hide the secret, Sacred Hole from the male gaze.
#TeachtheControversy
no one really knows what lesbians do
One works and the other keeps house?
…. Hobbit
Worth it
Think you know everything about North Korea?
Before Vice went full derp their Travel Guide to North Korea was pretty good.
Pyongyang is the city for the elite. If there is anything nice in North Korea, that’s where it will be. I think I saw footage of one of those stores in a story about the new stores for the elite.
True, and North Korea is doing much better now that it was in the 90s, when starvation was rampant after their economy nearly collapsed because the Soviets weren’t around to pump money into it anymore.
Dad and I just spent a good 10 minutes trying to get a pissed-off snake out of the basement. Dad got a plank just below its neck to hold it down and then we tried to trap it with the pooper scopper, which provided some hilarity.
All black top, all white belly; don’t know what type of snake that is.
where are you located?
Catskill Mtns, New York.
rat snake almost certainly. They make good pets.
Probably a black rat snake. You should have just left him down there. You probably have mice.
This. Totally harmless.
That’s was Dad was thinking, but he thought they didn’t have white bellies.
And the cats should kill the mice, but the cats are lazy shits.
Oh, and I think I mentioned we had mice in the sun-room that’s an addition onto the house about a month ago. Dad killed one, and then later in the day I found four tiny orphan mice huddled by the door to the outside.
Vhyrus’s guess is a good one. Do you live very near water? If so, it could be a queen snake.
Nope, not near water. Only when we get a prolonged heavy rain do we get a temporary creek near the house. Nearest permanent water is at the bottom of the hill.
I always just think of them as black snakes. But the snakes I see when I think “black snake” are generally bigger.
I bet they are…
Probably just a rat snake. Probably more around.
The last time I saw black snakes in my basement I was tripping. They were gone in the morning. Also the pink fiberglass insulation was no longer breathing which was good.
Black top? Definitely not Somalian or libertarian.
*narrows gaze*
It’s even more fun when the snakes just randomly fall out of your bedroom ceiling! And that always seems to only happen when I’m injured or drunk, makes for fun times.
Well he’s probably already back inside.
Residual White Privilege.
Intersectionality at work
Almost missed that. Nice.
Funny how Bruce is “brave” for transitioning to Caitlyn. But where a wrongthink hat, and all hell breaks loose.
Trump transitioned from NY City Democrat to Tribune of the Heartland, so where’s *his* Profiles in Courage Award?
Yeah. My take is, she’s finally starting to earn that award for real.
“That BITCH! I want that Espy back NOW, goddammit!” – nameless ESPN executive
The exact moment after that statement leaves her lips
I’m not saying i can read minds, but…. it looks to me like they’re all thinking, “wtf? really? that’s what we’re rolling with?”
I think you’re right.
That may be the stupidest thing I have ever heard someone say.
Really?
Ok, that was unfair to get me to watch that. So let me get this straight. According to Maxine, Trump Colluded with Putin so Russia can drill in the Arctic? They already drill in the Arctic. So does Canada. So does the Untied States. She creeps me the fuck out. Crazy woman.
That wasn’t even the stupidest thing she said. She claims that we have to wait until we get all the facts before we make a judgement. Not a soul on that panel was like, “Uh, Mrs. Waters, didn’t you….”
“Connect the dots”………see but she already knows the dots. They will come out soon. She is nuts.
Shameful confession: I still LOL when I see “fuck her right in the pussy” videos.
I didn’t know that was a thing. Thank you.
I don’t think it would be nearly as funny if it were some frat boy. It’s the dirty old man factor that kills me.
Like a Jim from Taxi
Ah, those old episodes of Sesame Street were certainly more lively than today’s version.
Stuff Her Right in the Stuffleupagus.
I’m beginning to think that that “family-friendly” certification software has a few bugs in it.
Laugh? That’s my pillow talk.
You know how some people claim pickle juice is good for hangovers? I bet the brine from a jar of pickled banana pepper slices is better.
Also yes…
It is, I’ve used that many times, although it’s been a really long time since I’ve had a real hangover. It’s the brine, it does more for the dehydration than anything else. It hearkens me back to the days when my great grandparents friends were moonshiners and we would just get trashed on the stuff. And keep in mind that I was not nearly as tolerant of alcohol as I am now. So I would wake up with some awful hangovers and go raid my grandmothers cellar for pickles and kraut and drink the juice. It works, as well as anything will work.
You’ll see some of the long distance cyclists go for the pickle juice too, for the same reason, to ward off or recover from dehydration.
“Dehydration”?
*Snorts* Beer is mostly water!
I don’t know why, but beer is the form of alcohol that dehydrates me worse than any other.
From a source:
Step 3 of how to survive a world-class hangover
Refrain from drinking liquor, as it is mostly alcohol. Instead, drink beer, as it is mostly beer.
(TW: slideshow)
You know who else liked to pickle Jews?
Reuben Nazi?
Mazel Tov!
Jesus when he turned the water into wine?
…Hi-Point carbine? (sniff)
(*and i don’t even own any guns)
I want to kiss ur vagana for 2 hrs and then put my 1 feet pinus in ur vegana u will happy…?
I see…trying to get rid of that family-friendly certification.
That thing is his white whale.
Mosaic Gelato knows what the laties with the deep one wants to hear.
I’ll pass on any chicks with the Innsmouth Look.
This woman is smokin’. I wonder what she’d do for a Camel?
Ivanka Trump?
SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: We know what you’re thinking, and you’re going straight to Hell.
Resistance is futile.
People seriously need to chill man.
Mosaic Gelato knows what the laties with the deep one wants to hear
Gilmore means: 36 governorships.
I’m surprised I haven’t seen some navel gazing about some of the pop culture references Trump supporters wear.
“OMG GUYS THAT GUY HAS A PUNISHER SHIRT, THE PUNISHER IS A VIGILANTE THAT KILLS BLACK BODIES.”
At an art gallery opening for my girlfriend.
I think im the only non progressive in 10 miles.
Don’t worry, we’ve seen your camouflage, you’ll fit right in.
Just don’t move too quickly. Their vision is based on movement.
If they try to engage you, just say “I’m #resisting through silence.”
Lemme guess. It sounds like:
Herp, derp, herpy, derpy derp derp.
Burp.
Yeah
I hope you really love your GF.
Those guys are pussies. Grab a drink and announce that “this ain’t art, it’s pornography!” And let the good times roll.
Then start unzipping while yelling “I’ll show you art!”
Dear me, don’t do that, they’d hire you as Director of Performance Art.
Take my advice, just blend in with some harmless banter.
“I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like.”
“I like the kind of art that you can tell when it’s been hung upside down.”
“My 6 year old could do ‘art’ like that!”
“Toby Keith, now *that’s* an artist.”
Mercury Records era Toby Keith, sure. Later Toby Keith, meh.
“This is sinful and for FORNICATORS! Y’all probably slam dance.“
Are you wearing Carharts and a flannel shirt? Just start slamming the wine as you put the cheese and crackers in your pockets, wink, and ask, “So, is it cool to smoke in here”.
“No smoking? That’s ok. I brought dip.”
I used to date an artist (now teacher @ Pratt)
When we went to galleries, I would make a point to find the “Artists Statement” (anything printed on the wall near their stuff which said something about who they are and what their work was about) and then read it aloud in a sort of “James Lipton-esque” way. It always made my gf nearly piss herself. Somehow my stage serious-voice was very funny to her when i was reading the utter gibberish people would say about themselves. Also, i think none of the artists ever have anyone read their own statement back to them, because if they did, they’d immediately erase it and just print their name, place of birth, the medium they prefer (oil, water, cow dung, etc) and drop all the po-mo hoo-ha.
This seems accurate.
Hers is better than the other guy’s
So your girlfriend is a prog?
No, she just doesn’t let him within 10 miles of her.
Eh. Yeah? Shes not super into politics.
That’s a keeper.
Well, you *did* say you were the only non-prog within 10 miles.
Shes a democrat, at the vert least
Someone looks like Jesse, though.
You wore a MAGA hat right?
I dont even have one!
Anti-Vaxxers Are Apparently Refusing to Vaccinate Their Dogs
Just made it to the site for the first time today, and the Open Thread post is hilarious to try to work out. “Brett’s Dead,” says the post from Playa Manhattan that also says VHYRUS SAVES THE DAY all over it, leading me to wonder who exactly posted what. Then the comments continue the confusion. I just made it to Vhyrus screaming “AAAAIIIIIIEEEE WHO BROKE MY LINKS” and I’m actually crying with laughter.
I think Brett is dead like Paul, not like Lou Reed.
Okay, so I noticed that there were no PM links, so I, while at work, start furiously scanning news.google.com for anything I can do a hot take on. In the 2.34 minutes it took me to find 4 links and do a snarky line to them, Playa puts up a PICTURE OF A FUCKING ROAST BEEF PLATE and calls it a day. So I submit my links like a good worker bee, but rather than just post them, Brett tries to copy and paste them into the current thread, but since he’s on his phone he pastes words but not the links themselves. Everyone of course blames me, so I start screaming and manually post the links themselves one at a time. Then after that Riven actually correctly posts my links but by then were 100 comments in and everything is ruined.
So… reading this… it was all your fault right?
What I’m getting here is that communism works. And ZARDOZ runs the glib NKVD.
Umm, yeah, I got nothin’…woman shot in vagina in sex game gone wrong:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=11899188
Bulleit Bourbon heiress claims she was fired at Christmas because she was gay. Except, she came out 11 years ago…
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=11899201
Good night you magnificent bastards, I’m off to bed, so I can wake up at the ass crack of dawn to do a charity bike ride. I should be back on Monday, if not, assume I’ve passed on and fight over my orphans and beer cellar.