Well, we have the first week of the NFL in the books. And the Vikings are tied for first in their division! That means it’ll be at least another 6 days before out Minnesodan contingent need to be talked down from a ledge.  The Broncos also won in the nightcap of Monday’s doubleheader.  Which, by the way, is an awesome thing the NFL should do a lot more frequently than opening weekend.  As a person who once lived on the west coast, I can assure you that 6 pm start times for all the “prime time” games sucked. But that’s just like, my opinion, man.

In baseball, the Dodgers are officially shitting the bed after losing to the Giants to extend their winless streak to 11.  Team Canada took the Orioles down a peg  as the Baltimore team has now all but faded from the wild card race.  The Yankees won. The Brewers lost. The Mariners lost, which helps the Twinks. The Rockies beat the D-backs. And, oh yeah, the Indians throttled the Tigers to capture their 19th in a row and move within two games of the all-time win streak (I will not accept the 26 game streak with a tie in there, sorry).

Lastly,UEFA Champions League soccer im back in de continent. Dem games gon start today!

Anyway, on to…the links!

Florida Governor and possible alien, Rick Scott.

Nearly half of the state of Florida is without power in the aftermath of Irma.  Thank God she seems to have scooted through without the destruction that might have been, but there’s still quite a bit of a mess left behind.  Hang in there, Florida Glibs.  And please, check in with us when you can (Carol, I’m looking at you! Put down the crunchy peanut butter and let the gang know you’re ok.). We know y’all are busy but we’re worried about you.

What kind of crazy, mixed up world do we live in when a presidential candidate who is expected to win easily can’t even look in a mirror and reflect soberly on her mistakes?  Hahaha, just kidding. It wasn’t her fault.  It was the Russians. And Comey. And Facebook. And…an old friend came in from out of town. And someone stole her car. There was an earthquake. A flood! Locusts! It wasn’t her fault!!!

Looks like the assholes are at it again. You know, instead of building a new HQ, Amazon ought to invest in a Thunderdome thats large enough to accommodate all of these antifa and right-wing nutballs. Then we can lock them in and not open the doors until they’ve beaten each other to death.

Well here is some weird-ass shit. And no, it didn’t happen in the south. If it had, it would have been the leading non-weather story across the country. I’m curious if the “answers” the family are looking for are in the head of their child who decided to do something stupid.  Because a few parts of the story just don’t add up.

California Congresswoman and possible undead, Nancy Pelosi.

My question is: when did she start smelling the burning toast? Seriously, she needs a doctor, because she’s either senile or she just had a stroke.

Mexico rescinds offer to help Texas in Harvey’s aftermath. No word from Michael Moore condemning the move yet.

There’s lots of shit going on in the world. But it’s alright.

Have a great day, friends!