This is my review of Fat Jack Double Pumpkin Ale, by Sam Adams.
Let’s get this out of the way right now. Yes, it will get you drunk. TW: This goes on for over two minutes.
Pumpkin Ale suffers from the indignity of being associated with hipster culture in that it only seems to come out at the time of year where everyone and everything gets excited for all things pumpkin. Pumpkin cider, pumpkin parfaits, pumpkin cookies ….
….even pumpkin spice M&Ms. It’s to the point where one can trigger an emotional response by telling a 28 year old woman in vintage glasses, a turtleneck sweater and wool scarf that she lives in Arizona, it is 96 degrees, there is no reason to dress like that and there is no reason for me to give two shits about your pumpkin spice latte. Pumpkin ale however, I think is unfair to associate with these people to some degree.
Pumpkins, like chocolate, corn, potatoes, and beans are indigenous to the Americas and like the other food mentioned was traded around the globe as a result of the Columbian exchange. Native Americans initially ate only the seeds, because that was the only palatable part. Later varieties were cultivated so that the flesh could also be consumed. This became a staple in the diet of many native cultures, as indicated by the number of European explorers that wrote about pumpkins and the distance between the parts of North America they explored. Jacques Cartier in Canada, to Alvar Nuñez Cabeza De Vaca in Florida, and John Smith in Virginia all wrote about the abundance of the gourds. At the beginning of the colonial period, settlers were unable to grow the same type of crops they could grow in Europe, therefore is should be no surprise pumpkin became a staple of these early settlers. If you want to know more about Pumpkins, click here.
Beer/ale at the time was a necessity because the fermentation process made water potable, this has been true since the medieval period. Being that there was at first, no barley to make it the colonists had to make due with something to make water drinkable and help them forget they were probably going to die during the winter—guess what happened to be around in great quantity? Pumpkin ale fell out of favor after the civil war and cultivation made it more lucrative for farmers to supply a decorative element that rots on my porch overnight after the 1970s. It was only a recent development that everybody with the means could put the stuff to market as part of the annual hipster pumpkin craze. In other words, this is something those snooty, technocratic, Euro-weenies cannot claim because it is a uniquely American beverage with unique American heritage. Europe can go suck it.
Modern Pumpkin Ale comes in two types: The type that wants to be a severely over-spiced, gluten-free Dunkel and the other that wants to be liquid pumpkin pie. Fat Jack is the former. It comes at over 8% ABV so it is prudent you operate machinery or firearms while drinking this. It is also handy to have around when Carson Palmer wants to embarrass himself by muffing the snap in an attempt to come back in the 4th quarter. Way to go dumbass, it’s now 3rd & 20 and my only solace is a thick, hearty ale, with a flavor heavily influenced by ginger, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, ginger, allspice and ginger. Did I mention Ginger?
In fairness, they had to balance out the pumpkin somehow and with the high ABV, there is a lot of pumpkin in there. This one is still pretty good but is not one to chug. 3.5/5
If you are looking more towards the liquid pumpkin pie end of the spectrum, a good example is Elysian Night Owl Pumpkin Ale.
Same spices as Fat Jack, just not as intense, and a much lighter ale with less body as you can probably discern from what is indeed my photo. It has a faint, pumpkin bitterness in the back which is kind of nice. 3.8/5
This one is absolutely amazing. Last time I had it in Colorado the guy at the liquor store asked that I not purchase more than 2 packs of it at a time. The reason is because he typically sold out of it within the day. This has a faint vanilla along with the usual pumpkin spices, so it actually tastes like pumpkin pie, like the kind your mom made. If you happen to be in Colorado, and you happen to come across a liquor store in the fall pick some up, cowboy. 4.5/5
Pumpkin is the whitest of all foods
I’m quite white and i hate pumpkin. I hate all types of squash zucchini et al really. Not fit for human consumption. bleah
We were having a reasonable discussion, and then you had to go completely off the reservation.
I’m fine with any vegetable that you can grill. That includes zucchini and summer squash.
^a man who understands food science
i prefer grilled eggplant, or aubergine as the English call it. The only form I found summer squash edible, as far as Romanian recipes go obviously, was was grated, mixed with some grated cheese, breaded and fried
Why in the name of God would anyone grill vegetable matter while there are pork chops and steak in the world?
Don’t forget lamb chops.
All of the above.
Theres space on my grill for both.
I shall meet you the field of honor. Zucchini shall not be besmirched.
Pistols or swords, your choice.
Why choose?
Grilled stuffed jalapenos
This guy gets it.
Yeah, pretty much this.
I’ll eat courgettes, but in the home country, people were far smarter. They’d let them grow big, scoop out the insides, pack them with sugar, stand ’em upright and let nature take its course and end up with marrow rum.
…go on.
That’s literally it. Here’s a recipe.
Pumpkin, by it self is… not good. There’s a reason the only the vast majority of people eat it is loaded with sugar, egg and spices: “Pumpkin flavored” custard pie.
Butternut squash is way more better. Just a little butter, salt and pepper: de-lish.
very exactly
Yes Grummun but you forgot the bacon. Butternut squash soup requires bacon.
* raises hand to object *
* reads Suthenboy *
Ah, genetic imperative, then. Carry on.
It comes at over 8% ABV so it is prudent you operate machinery or firearms while drinking this.
“Prudent”? Or “awesome”?
*scoffs*
We all know indigenous cultures are wonderfully never changing and need to be faithfully preserved. They can only be snuffed out and corrupted by invading whiteness.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/10/07/racially-charged-letter-targeting-staffer-sent-to-pennsylvania-day-care-center-police-say.html
Racially charged letter targeting staffer sent to Pennsylvania day care center, police say
Uhm why are the police investigating this? The person who wrote the letter is an ass, sure. But there was no threat mentioned in the letter. So the police are investigating racism now? There was nothing illegal about that letter, the fact that the police are investigating wrong think is spookier than the letter.
meh, all that’s required for an investigation is for someone to suggest they think it might be a threat.
cops don’t have shit to do most of the time. and the times they ignore shit and it turns out to be real? ends up costing the boss his job. so they ‘investigate’ everything, just to say they did.
also = that shit was obviously written by some prog trying to gin up outrage. the p.s. is a pathetic giveaway. they can’t help themselves.
I don’t see a letter or a PS?
crazy bitch who posted the letter in her twitter has decided to block everyone from her account (*because everyone was saying, “you’re an idiot”), which ended up removing the pic from the news-org’s website. Par for course.
*face-palm*
The letter was anonymous and basically complained that the kids at the day care were scared of the black employee because her skin was too dark and that if they are going to hire a black person make sure it is a light skinned black person and a few other comments.
The P.S. was “You need to make your daycare great again!”
The letter did not make any threats toward the daycare or the employee mentioned. The racism was way too old timey to be legit in my opinion.
because they were unsure if their attempt at portraying a ‘racist trump supporter’ was convincing enough, they felt that throwing that in at the end would make it 100% clear.
*sigh*
False flag.
Not buying this story- people do sometimes send racist letters, but they don’t read like this. This was either trolling or someone trying to “start a conversation,” I think.
Did I mention Ginger?
The correct answer is a threesome with Ginger and Mary Anne.
Nice review! I’ve actually never had Fat Jack. I’ll give it a try this year. I like Pumking. There is also a rum barrel aged version according to Beeradvocate. I have not seen it in stores.
I have a 6 pack of Pumpking in the fridge with some assorted other beers. Will probably have one before I head out to the bar to watch the Buckeyes. I’m going to start by trying a shot of PB&J “moonshine” that a co-worker talked me into buying when I was in TN a couple weeks ago. Should be interesting.
I’ve had chocolate peanut butter porters, but PB&J “moonshine”? I’m not sure what to make of that.
I’ll let you know shortly. Milk chaser? Lol
Yeah, it was decent. A little fruity. 70 proof shots go down down too easy. I wouldn’t say it taste like pb&j. A couple shots and and a Pumpking was a good start. Couple tokes on the bar porch courtesy of a friend won’t hurt either
Sounds like a good time.
In addition to Pumpking I also like Warlock. They have Fat Jack on tap at the pub across the street. I’m not sure if that is the one my wife’s been drinking or not. I haven’t had one yet. I know the one she’s been drinking is under 6%. They have 4 or 5 Pumpkins right now.
https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/3818/99558/
No it’s the Ichabod she’s been drinking. I thought this was the place that I saw the Fat Jack. Might have been a different local bar or they haven’t updated their beer menu.
http://www.luckysgrille.com/hilliard1.html
New Holland Ichabod? I think I’ve had that. I don’t remember what I thought of it. Strange, according to Beeradvocate I rated it highly. If I don’t remember having it, maybe that high rating was a mistake.
I’ve seen Warlock, but I don’t think I’ve had it.
Warlock is the only pumpkin beer I actually like
The correct answer is a threesome with Ginger and Mary Anne.
What about the pervs who are into Lovey Howell?
I’ll take some Ginger and Mary Anne. No to the pumpkin. Pumpkin should not go into anything, especially beer. Blech!
I had a pack of that in my cart last night and put it back before checking out. Oh well, I’ll probably see it at walmart or food lion this week. Had a full cart already.
I like beer. Not malted tuttifrutti juice drinks.
Indeed. No pumpkin beer for me, spice or not.
What about the pervs who are into Lovey Howell?
Geriatric cougar, FTW!
You can have a threesome with Lovey Howell and Weezie Jefferson.
People who drink pumpkin beer are rarely the fun “hold my beer and watch this!” kind of people.
So you’re more on the “keg of Nattie light” end of the spectrum?
In my younger years, yes.
Case in point: There was a little country village about ten miles from the place I grew up. In that village was the old schoolhouse, no longer used as a school but as kind of a community center. On Saturday evenings in summer there would usually be a few kegs and a little local band playing, and young folks would come in from all around to dance and drink.
One weekend when I was about 17, my car was busted, my folks were leaving to go someplace or other, and Dad was annoyed with me so he took the keys to his pickup with him, effectively stranding me. Except…
…out in the orchard set Dad’s 1954 Ford dump truck, with a six-yard box and a flatulent old 312 Y-block engine. It didn’t use a key; the ignition switch was a toggle switch and the starter was wired to a button on the floor next to the gas pedal. Transport! I kicked it into life and drove over to the dance.
About two hours later, one of the assholes I called my friends said, “Hey, if you was to get in that back of that dump truck, how long to you suppose you could hang on when the box goes up?”
Next thing you know about ten teenage boys, all drunk, are climbing in the back of the truck. I got in the cab, started the engine and dumped ’em on out. Several of them his the swinging endgate with loud thuds, but amazingly, no busted bones.
We did that several times. I climbed in the dump box a couple times myself. Came away with some impressive bruises.
I can’t say for sure anybody actually asked someone to “hold my beer” before trying that, but it wouldn’t surprise me.
Youth is wasted on the young.
Note to self: party with Animal.
DC decides to shit all over The Watchmen
With a new Watchmen/DC Universe crossover
I am half convinced that the SJW crowd took over the comics for the purpose of destroying them. I also think they specifically targeted youth sports. I may be a paranoid, crusty old dude that grew up in the cold war but it sure looks to me like deliberate demoralization. Anything that teaches core values gets shit on by the left.
This has nothing to do with social justice, it’s just exploiting owned properties for revenue. DC is way, way less SJW than Marvel is (thus still turning out a profit) and Geoff Johns is actually fairly good at his job.
Regarding comics I have to admit that I know next to nothing about it, only what I hear mentioned around here. So, ok, if you say so. I’ll take your word for it.
Watchmen already got shit over pretty hard with the prequel comics (Dr. Manhattan’s and the Comedian’s were ok though).
Continuing onwards after the end of the initial comic is pretty goddamn terrible though. The whole point of the ending is meant to be definitive and open-ended.