This is my review of Tank #7 Farmhouse Ale, by Boulevard Brewing Company.

Here is my mistake.  I mentioned in passing what I will be reviewing next and somebody tells me there is a standard to these things that I am overlooking.

*pours beer down the sink*

Okay, fine.  They didn’t have it at the Fry’s I shop at that used to be Smitty’s, therefore it’s the ULTIMATE FRY’S.  I instead went to BevMo–no dice.  Finally, I found it at Total Wine, which was the last bottle they had on the shelf.  

This is my review of Saison Dupont Brasserie.  Hat Tip:  Nephilium.

Holy shit.  This almost costs $14, including the $1.39 worth of state legitimized theft levied on beer, wine and spirits.  This reminds me of the time I was shopping for a new vehicle and I checked out the Toyota Tacoma.  For what Toyota charges people for the privilege of being labeled tough enough to drive a Taco; in comparison to some of its competitors in the light truck market it better be an amazing truck.  By golly, the Taco it is an amazing truck.  Is it amazing enough to justify buying it over a comparably priced, but used full sized?  Saison Dupont reminds me of this quandary.  It is expertly crafted, has a lot of body which is evident in the way the foam coats the inside of the glass.  It is bottle conditioned and continuously fermented, which is why it is sealed with a cork similar to the ones used to bottle champagne.  The smell is reminiscent of a crisp summer evening in the countryside, in a place where the pavement will not burn your bare feet.

Why is it called Saison?  Those of you that speak French will probably tell me the word itself means season.  This is indeed true; Belgians like the Germans and nearly every other traditional beer culture adopted the practice of brewing beer seasonally in the time before refrigeration.  Part of the reason it is typically done in the colder months is that small insects hibernate and won’t infest the wort.  The other part is consistency in temperature.  Germans took this to another level in developing lagers, which is not nearly as resistant to temperature fluctuations as most ale, by brewing underground.  This is not why it’s called Saison.

It was explained to me once the reason lunch is dinner and dinner is supper in the Midwest is due to the type of meal that a farm hand might have.  If one sits down for a large midday meal at a table it is more likely to be referred to as dinner.  This is how they referred to it in the dining facility at the Air Force base I was stationed at in South Carolina.  Typically, the meal was large as I was hungry at the time since I last ate around 0400 so that I can complete the airfield lighting check prior to the start of the ops day.   Lunch on the other hand, is often a much smaller meal.  When I think of lunch today, I am normally sitting at my desk munching on something small.  Be it a sandwich, or salad for example, the intent is to simply keep me going until the end of the day.  It is this type of meal that Midwesterners might refer to as lunch, just something small they can provide a farm hand that they won’t have to worry about their workers going hungry*. Back in the day, Belgian farmers would provide beer to their farm hands, known as Saisonniers, with this type of beer in part as a meal replacement but also because one gets rather thirsty when working in the fields.  This explains why it is often called Farmhouse Ale.

*I realize this might be the most controversial statement I make in this entire article, but this is how it was explained to me.  

Like I said before, it is expertly crafted with a lot of body in the traditional manner that defines the style.  It has a thick texture with a heavy citrus aftertaste.  To make this even more confusing, it is highly carbonated but it dissipates in the glass (foam) leaving a pleasant aroma and does not leave you feeling bloated.  Like most beers of this type, you must be into it to like it.  Wheat beers in general have a polarizing effect on people and not everybody is into it.  If you are, you will certainly appreciate its charms but perhaps will not appreciate its price tag.  Saison Dupont Brasserie 4.0/5.

If Brasserie is the master, Boulevard is its apprentice.  Like many American Brewers, they are quite adept at creating a worthy copy.  Often the argument against the craft industry is that they can never make the traditional ales made in Europe.  Is it the same?  No, it’s not a carbon copy, and that isn’t the point, but it certainly holds its own given the more affordable price tag. Boulevard Brewing Co. (Kansas City), Tank #7 Farmhouse Ale 3.9/5.

In honor of the NL Wild Card, I picked up this one I never heard of as—a wild card.  

This one is not terrible. Considering the fact that I turn into an emotional wreck watching playoff baseball, particularly when it is my team…I might have to try this one again.  I was hardly objective at the time… There is less body than expected and it is a little more sour than many would like but it is not bad. It is not one to go toe to toe with a traditional European product but it does what it does well. Prairie Artisan Ales Merica Farmhouse Ale 3.0/5

A word on fruit  

This is a libertarian website, it is in this spirit that I say that if you add a slice of orange to this type of beer, so be it.  To call that apostasy would make me no different than those pushing a social campaign that insists men ignore their natural preferences for women and accept them as is–i.e. real men like women that_______ or with_______.  This is hogwash; real men like whatever the fuck they want.  If you like Belgian farm girls picking strawberries, go right ahead.

You can only pick one!

So choose wisely

If you like female Belgian soldiers…You might have issues, but go for it.

If you want to add an orange because you like it, because it makes you happy, I am not going to say you are wrong.  I will not say that you should not add fruit to your beer and you may as well go to Morton’s and ask for ketchup with your steak.  It’s an immoral stance to take and I will not entertain an argument to the contrary.  Do what you like.

Having said that, this is a libertarian website and since I have been graciously provided a platform for free speech I will state my personal opinion:  if you add orange to a well-crafted Saison–you are wrong.  Go wash your mouth with a revolver.