ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ CONTINUES TO IDENTIFY ADVICE GIVING BRUTALS, “DEAR ABBY” IN THIS CASE, AND PROVIDE BETTER ADVICE THAN THEM. SURELY THE CHOSEN ONES WILL SEE THE TRUTH OF THIS – SEE “DEAR ABBY” HERE…AND HERE. ZARDOZ’S BETTER ADVICE IS GIVEN TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. GO FORTH AND READ. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

ZARDOZ – CORRECT!

“DEAR ABBY” – WRONG

 

 

 

 

 

 

Q: DEAR ABBY: My son and I are very close. He joined the Marine Corps (a decision I fully support) and shipped out recently. I had read on a Marine family site that frequent letters from home are encouraged, so I had letters written even before I got his mailing address. I sent off three letters the day I got his address and another one three days later. They always start off with a supportive declaration (“I’m proud of you. You can do this.”) before moving on to what I hope are amusing anecdotes about what’s going on at home. I avoid topics that would make him homesick. I sign the letter with the initials of my son’s nickname for me. Last night, another family member told me I’m writing too often (that person has written one letter so far, and plans to wait at least a week before sending another). That family member said that the drill instructors and other recruits will notice and label my son a “mama’s boy.” This has caused me significant distress.

Please tell me which is right: the website that recommends frequent letters, or my family member who advocates cutting back drastically? — MOM OF A MARINE

A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, MOTHER OF THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR. YOUR SON WAS RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY, TO KILL THE BRUTALS WHO MULTIPLY AND ARE LEGION. TO THIS END, ZARDOZ GAVE HIM THE GIFT OF THE GUN. THE GUN IS GOOD! YOU MUST NOT DISTRACT HIM FROM LEARNING TO CLEANSE BRUTALS. WRITE LESS OFTEN YOU HELICOPTER BRUTAL PARENT. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

 

Q: DEAR ABBY: In view of all the recent tragic events, you would do a great service to remind everyone to be careful when donating. A lot of the money that was donated for 9/11 and other tragedies never got to the victims. Unfortunately, when tragedies occur, scammers view them as an opportunity to line their pockets. I’m not sure how to make sure the money gets to the right people, so I haven’t donated at all. Can you help with some information on this? — DIANA IN TEXAS

A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, CHARITY GIVING ONE. YOU MUST GIVE DIRECTLY TO THE VORTEX! THE VORTEX PRESERVES THE ETERNALS. IF YOU ARE GIVING CHARITY TO YOUR FELLOW BRUTALS, YOU SHALL BE ENSLAVED TO GROW GRAIN FOR THE VORTEX. THE TABERNACLE IS DISPATCHING BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO YOUR LOCATION. REMAIN THERE! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

 

Q: DEAR ABBY: My 62-year-old father has recently started to streak his hair with fluorescent colors. He does it when he goes to his job and coordinates his hair color with his outfits. As far as I know, his employer has not said anything as of yet. Also, Dad has difficulty with social cues. My mother and I aren’t happy with his “fashion” choices and we plead with him to stop doing this. It’s embarrassing because it looks stupid and ridiculous. He claims he doesn’t care what others think and that he has flair. Are my mother and I wrong to criticize his “flair”? Isn’t this behavior really inappropriate for a man his age? How can we convince him that he’s making a fool of himself and should stop? Your help is appreciated. — NO FOOL LIKE AN OLD FOOL

A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS FOOLISH ONE. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THE ETERNALS VOTED AGAINST YOUR FATHER – AND HE HAS BEEN AGED BY THEIR POWERS, TO THE POINT OF SENILITY. THIS HAPPENED TO THE ETERNALS GEORGE SADEN AND FRIEND. LET THEIR EXAMPLES BE A WARNING TO YOU – DO NOT MEDDLE IN THE AFFAIRS OF THE ETERNALS, LEST YOU BE NEXT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.