STEVE SMITH LIKE FUNNY PEOPLE AT GLIBERTARIANS. WANT THEM, AND ALL PEOPLE, TO BE SAFE IN WOODS AND PARKS…WELL, NOT SAFE FROM STEVE SMITH! BUT SAFE FROM THINGS THAT ARE BITEY, STINGY OR CLAWY. STEVE SMITH FIND THIS MAP, AND WANT TO SHARE. SEE HOW MAP NOT HAVE STEVE SMITH ON IT? STEVE SMITH NO KILL, BUT LOVE INSTEAD. BY LOVE, MEAN RAPE.
STEVE SMITH GREET YOU!
ALSO, STEVE SMITH WORRIED GLIBERTARIANS GO TO WRONG PLACES. SEE HOW STEVE SMITH’S WOODS ARE NOT ON MAP. WOODS ARE NICE PLACE. BY NICE PLACE, MEAN RAPE PLACE.
WHY NO WANT TO VISIT STEVE SMITH?
SO LAST OF ALL, STEVE SMITH GIVE EXAMPLES OF WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN CAMPING OR HIKING. FIRST IS, NO AVOID STEVE SMITH! NEXT, SEE THESE:
STEVE SMITH SAY, STAY RAPED SAFE, VISIT HIS WOODS! BUT IF YOU NO COME HERE, THEN SMART GLIBS CAN SUGGEST GUNS, BEAR SPRAY (IT TICKLE STEVE SMITH) OR OTHER THINGS.
Should I be concerned that STEVE SMITH is giving us this dangerous park info in an attempt to lure us to a ‘safer’ park?
IT’S A TRAP!
STEVE SMITH SAY WOODS ARE WOODS OF LOVE! WHY YOU NO GO THERE?
*hopes somebody goes first*
If I don’t go into STEVE SMITHs woods then he can’t put the wood into me.
… so, you won’t be going first then?
(damn)
Anyone else?!
I think bacon was volunteering to go and give him STDs…?
*jumps on grenade*
̶g̶r̶e̶n̶a̶d̶e̶ squatch dick
FTFY
I thought it was Vhyrus with the weaponized STDs.
No he’s the universal cure
Bacon is cured.
It would be nice to get a sample from STEVE SMITH so we can tailor a bioweapon against him.
STEVE SMITH LOVE TO GIVE RICK SAMPLE. SAMPLE OF RAPE!
>howboutno.jpeg
I’m concerned. I live in that white area without dangerous creatures.
Me too. At first I was happy, but now I wonder if it is just a trap of some kind…
No need. We have winter.
Ah yes. Good point.
But thank g-d for global warming. We are going for a high of 74 today. I suppose it’ll be 80 for you guys down in the banana belt.
Today’s high: 81, low 71.
We have feral politicians?
Racist!
Chicago, Gary, and Detroit are in that area, so I guess the deadliest creature is man.
I see the most dangerous places include my house, but then I already knew that.
Hello. I want to play a game; the most dangerous game.
-Suthenboy
Pfft. All of Australia would basically be dark purple.
3 of the 10 deadliest national parks are in AZ, and we get the second darkest color on the “almost Australia” map. Between the rattlesnakes and the bark scorpions (the little ones, with the fucking neurotoxin), I’m surprised we didn’t score higher.
Also known as “Tuesday night at OMWC’s house.”
*prolonged and thunderous ovation*
Extreme reaction to the venom is indicated by numbness, frothing at the mouth, paralysis, and a neuromotor syndrome that may be confused with a seizure and that may make breathing difficult, particularly for small children
Sounds like an SJW’s reaction to Trump’s election…
We occasionally get kids who have been bit by the damnable things. The convulsions are somewhat rare, but horrifying to watch (typically, an all over trembling punctuated by the body going rigid with only the back of the head and the heels touching the bed).
Have I mentioned how much I hate scorpions. Because I hate them, I do.
I got stung by a scorpion in the Bahamas several years ago. I felt like I was on fire for about 8 hours.
It’s not the STD that did it?
My youngest was stung when he was 1. I took him to Phoenix Children’s and they DX him immediately and gave him the anti-venom. They billed $40k to my insurance.
Sounds like rattlesnake anti-venin. $55K a treatment.
STDs?
The map’s off about bull sharks. They come into the Chesapeake, especially the lower part of the bay around Virginia Beach.
*writes off Chesapeake Bay*
*writes off Illinois*
Oh, wait, I live here and have already written the state off….
They breed in brackish water and they can live in fresh water. They’ve been spotted in the Patuxent before, and they’ll come way up the bay depending on the salinity in the summer. Supposedly the shark attacks in New Jersey in 1916 were a case of a bull shark that had come up a creek. Plus, they’re very territorial and tend to be aggressive. Basically, they suck.
Jesu Christo! I know what the Hell to avoid now!
https://www.google.com/amp/abcnews.go.com/amp/US/floridas-shark-bite-capital-world-claims-victims/story%3fid=25980981
I can recommend a lovely B&B here.
Here?
Never change, Florida Surfer!
Florida is the realm of STEVE SMITH’S son, the Skunk Ape. I assume that the Skunk Ape was conceived when some drunk hippie woman staggered from a music festival into the woods.
I would think SKUNK APE is more of a distant cousin.
There’s a great B horror film in this idea.
Horror film or romantic comedy?
I think you’d have too much trouble getting funding for a STEVE SMITH-based romantic comedy.
“Its kind of a romantic, horror-comedy!”
Starring Adam Sandler.
Last month I found 100 or so dead yellow jackets inside my apartment, all around my bedroom windows, wrapped up in the curtains, behind my dresser and on the window sill. You can imagine how freaked out I was when I saw a yellow jacket corpse in my bedroom, proceeded to shake the curtains and then have 50 or so corpses start falling out. I was really confused since I have never seen a live yellow jacket buzzing around my apartment so I figured they couldn’t have built a nest inside. My best guess – their corpses are making it through my AC system and falling out of the vent in my bedroom. They must have built a nest near the intake and are now dying off as it gets colder.
Anyway – That map says yellow jackets don’t live in my area of the country, but I beg to differ.
Qualification – the says they’re in Virginia, but not NoVA. They are definitely in NoVA.
That map must be shit, because I’ve lived in NoVa all my life and yellow-jackets are not uncommon in my experience. 50 yellow-jacket corpses dropping out of the curtains is a new one for me, though.
That’s some nearly omen level shit right there.
You might want to have that checked out by a pro. They could be in your wall or the ventilation system. Yellow Jackets are very aggressive and can be quite dangerous in large numbers.
Make sure it isnt honeybees though. If it is honeybees you can just call the local apiary and have them come move them to a better home. Yellow Jackets are a different story.
This is better advice than mine, which would be to burn your house down and make it look like an accident so you can collect the insurance.
Yellow Jackets suck.
Is “Greek Lightning” your answer to all homeowner problems?!
Well given the fact that a plumber is scheduled to be at my home in 30 mins because it’s an issue beyond my slightly above average handyman ability….
I’m getting there.
I am not sure which sucks more: Yellow Jackets or every plumbing repair job ever.
Yeah, there’s a reason I picked “electrician” as my trade when I enlisted. Hopefully its related to a slight bend in an underground pipe headed for the septic tank. Which means its just a clog he can snake out.
Not even a contest.
Plumbing by a mile.
Every plumbing job I have ever done consists of a minimum of three trips to the plumbing parts store.
I carefully plan the job and buy all the fitting I need, plus extras on the first trip.
Halfway through the job, something unexpected happens and I have to go back for an unanticipated fitting.
Near the end of the job I have to go back and get a fitting I didn’t even know existed but was necessary to complete the job.
Yep. And because it’s plumbing and not, say, car repair or carpentry, it is also extremely gross and unfulfilling.
Plumbers earn their money.
STEVE SMITH HAVE “SNAKE” FOR PIPE!
Roto-Raper
I haven’t found any more since that incident. I think they’re all dead now. If it happens again next summer I will definitely have it checked out by my leasing office.
As for the dangers of yellow jackets – I know. Those fuckers are aggressive, especially when it gets cooler before winter. I’ve been stung by them multiple times when I was younger.
Study says only 16% of Americans believe Bigfoot exists. STEVE SMITH, you need to up your rape game, because only then will they believe.
THE GREATEST TRICK STEVE SMITH EVER PULL IS MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE HE NOT EXIST.AND BY TRICK, MEAN RAPE.
Damn your speedy fingers!
The greatest trick STEVE SMITH ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
Easier to rape those that are blissfully ignorant or unbelieving, right?
It’s clearly just denial. STEVE SMITH has already been in everyone, most of us just blackout the memory
Huh. And all this time I thought it was just aliens.
Maybe Mr Lizard and STEVE SMITH have some sort of deal worked out?
STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF A TURD KIND.
That’s why I fart like a choo choo train
STEVE SMITH START STEVE SMITH CENTER FOR KIDS THAT CAN’T CAMP OR JOG GOOD AND WANT TO LEARN TO DO OTHER STUFF GOOD TOO
Maybe he should get a job as a casting director in Hollywood.
From the 10 deadliest parks link
Obviously it sucks to be the woman and her family, but I couldn’t imagine how the passing hiker must feel.
That’s what I thought. You’re trying to slide past someone on a trail, they step over to be polite and do a swan dive into the canyon. That’s a recipe for PTSD, for sure.
I’ve hiked some pretty gnarly trails and passing (or being passed) on a narrow trail sucks.
Great… now you’ve got me thinking of Tucker and Dale vs. Evil.
Due to the frequency of human-bear encounters, the B.C. Fish and Wildlife Branch is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and any persons that use the out of doors in a recreational or work related function to take extra precautions while in the field.
We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advanced warning to any bears that might be close by so you don’t take them by surprise.
We also advise anyone venturing outdoors to carry “Pepper Spray” with him is case of an encounter with a bear.
Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, and be able to tell the difference between black bear feces and grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear shit has bells in it and smells like pepper.
Living on the original coast has its benefits, such as a lack of grizzly bears. Black bears won’t mess with groups of people, typically, but if they do come over to borrow a cup of sugar they’ll usually fuck right off if you bang on a pot or just act like a dick. If you’ve got a decent-sized dog, especially one that barks, they won’t come near you. A Pomeranian obviously won’t do you any good, but like a Lab or bigger will dissuade them pretty reliably.
You can also tell bears are in the area when you find rabbits with shit smears on them.
Glibertarians – Come for the Edit Faeries, Stay for the Bear Shit Jokes
STEVE SMITH NOT COME HERE TO HUNT.
Well, its kind of hunting, isn’t it?
STEVE SMITH NOT INTO NECRO – THAT SICK SHIT
STEVE SMITH HUNT…FOR RAPE!
We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advanced warning to any bears that might be close by so you don’t take them by surprise.
STEVE SMITH ADVISE YOU WEAR LITTLE NOISY BELL SO HE KNOW WHERE TO RAPE!
Florida declares state of emergency.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41654975
Sloopy hardest hit
From the bear link: https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/rankings
You can pretty much wipe your ass with any list that has Massachusetts as the best state.
Best at taking your money?
I lived in #2 (NH) and #3 (MN). They have their positive attributes, but their rank is severely inflated without a weather metric (same goes for Mass).
Also, I suspected NC would be in the middle, but woohoo we are square in the middle!
Or a cost of living metric or a tax metric or an entertainment metric…
I have noticed those list usually coincide with the list of pinko states.
How about ranking states by their pro sports teams? This century.
NO LIVE IN FLORIDA. PERIOD.
Come on Steve. It’s perfectly safe here.
*pulls tarp over lube and tranq gun.*
STEVE SMITH AROUSED!
In Florida man rape Squatch!
You gonna suck his toes aren’t you?
NTTAWWTDONT YOU SHINE A LIGHT ON ME!!!
You guys ever wonder if the OG STEVE SMITH on TOS ever thought, could have ever imagined that his name, likeness and mannerisms would one day be featured on a ̶p̶r̶o̶m̶i̶n̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶ splinter site as a regular columnist for our amusement and horror?
Lol. He’s probably a lurker.
STEVE SMITH ONLY LURK BEFORE RAPE!
STEVE SMITH ALWAYS LURKING. BY LURKING, MEAN RAPING.
*applause*
You people didn’t disappoint!
…and thanks for the nifty straight line, Tundra.
At TOS, STEVE SMITH should have been the standard reply to any Tony or Shreek comments or any Dalmia or ENB posts.
Probably would have driven Dalmia around the bend.
How could you tell?
….um. Good point.
STEVE SMITH SUPPORT IMMIGRATION. BY IMMIGRATION MEAN RAPE FOREIGNERS.
STEVE SMITH NOT REQUIRE SAMMICH AFTERWARD. YOU LIKE!
Well, this article starts off with a steaming load of crap, so I didn’t really read any further.
Actually, yeah, you kinda do have to be an “environmentalist” to be afraid of Trump’s tanking the Paris deal.
Umm, no, no they aren’t, at least if you care what the data says (namely, the lack of correlation between CO2 emissions and temperature trends).
And this is supposed to be supportive of Trump.
It seemed pretty neutral following it. It simply points out the cause for the decline in CO2 emissions can be explained by the market’s move to cheaper natural gas made available by fracking rather than anything done by the Trump or Obama administrations. Maybe its an attempt to appeal to those suffering the effects of TDS?
“those GHGs are driving surface temperatures upwards.”
There is no statistically significant change in temperature yet I see this claim made all of the time and go unchallenged. There is no statistically significant rise in sea level. There is no statistically significant increase in number or strength of storms. These people are so goddamned full of shit. Bunch of goddamned liars.
Speak of Florida, Florida Woman really doesn’t get her due.
You can tell by looking at some people they are deeply disturbed.
That’s an orc in a wig.
STEVE SMITH raped Gedde Lee while he was on tour in FL.
So, who would win in a race – STEVE SMITH or a Grizzly?
GRIZZLY RAPE IS A BEAR.
STEVE SMITH WAIT FOR BEAR TO SHIT IN WOODS AND THEN SPRINT WHILE BEAR IN MID-PINCH
IN RACE TO RAPE, STEVE SMITH ALWAYS FIRST!
STEVE SMITH LIKES WHEN BEAR BITES GENITALS, IT TICKLES
STEVE SMITH GRACIOUS LOVER. STEVE SMITH MAY COME FIRST, BUT MAKE SURE GRIZZLY FINISH. AND BY LOVER, MEAN RAPIST.
From the reality-based community:
The real kicker: this wasn’t written by a 25 year old Columbia graduate who knows nothing. This was written by a tenured Harvard Law professor.
De-fund all universities. There is no reason why the average taxpayer should have his money spent on Left-wing wet dream scenarios
The D in TDS is there for a good reason. I get goosebumps of joy knowing that Trump is driving the pinkos crazy.
No President Bobcat, no sale.
It’s time for some game theory, which I just learned about in my econ 101 class yesterday.
This is the same Lawrence Lessig, head of the Electronic Freedom Foundation, so-called, who thinks the way to allow free (as in speech) technology is to have the government heavily regulate the Internet.
He’s one of those bright guys that is so bright that he can believe something really stupid and convince himself it’s not.
‘Do the right thing’
Assuming facts not in evidence. Somehow I don’t expect Clinton to ‘do the right thing’ and given Sanders the nomination after admitting to rigging the DNC as much as she could.
OT: Tard-back Tuesday
Written during the government shutdown of 2013. My memory’s not what it used to be, but I’m pretty sure 90% of Americans died and our country was left a burning wasteland.
I read that one. Honestly, I initially thought it was some sort of satire out of The Onion.
Larry Lessig wrote that. I’m just stunned. The guy is/was a pretty big light in IP land, founder of Creative Commons, and I had previously thought a lot of what he had to say on copyright.
What the fuck has gotten into people? If this was a Laundry Files story, we’d be looking for the Class eight glamour that’s bewitching these people.
Well, different strokes for different folks. Personally, my fantasies usually involve winning the lottery or rescuing Thandie Newton from a pack of zombie cannibal rapists.
I could totally see Ryan’s bitch ass picking Hillary as his VP, though.
STEVE SMITH NEED MAP TO SPECIAL WOODS. BY SPECIAL WOODS MEAN HARVEY WEINSTEIN REHAB CENTER
Oooh. A Very Special Cross-Over… STEVE SMITH and Deviant Visions….add in The Hat and The Hair (and Tha Hat) and you could melt the internet.
*lights SugarFree signal*
STEVE SMITH GO ON EUROTRIP, SHOW REFUGEES HOW IT DONE. BY RAPING THEM.
https://hotair.com/archives/2017/10/17/trump-ask-general-kelly-obama-called-son-killed-action/
Everyone in this story is a terrible terrible person, except General Kelly.
Media: How come you didn’t call the families of the troops killed in a country that we weren’t sure how to pronounce in a conflict that we paid no attention to and will ignore again when it no longer fits our political narrative?
Trump: I sent their families a letter and it was classy. People have said, the classiest condolences ever. I’m also going to call them, because it’s important- so important- that I be better than my predecessor, who, as you know, was not very nice to the military.
Media: HOW DARE YOU INSULT OUR MESSIAH!
Trump: He never called families. Never. Unlike me, who, again, people have said, has been tremendous at calling military families after their sons die in conflicts that I wasn’t even aware of was occurring.
Media: ARE YOU ASSUMING THE GENDER OF SOLDIERS NOW!
Trump: If you don’t believe me that my predecessor never called the families of dead soldiers, just ask my chief of staff if Obama called him when his son died.
Media: YOU BET WE WILL AND THEN WE’LL SMEAR HIM IF HE DOESN’T ANSWER CORRECTLY
Everyone getting shit smeared in their face by Trump richly deserves it from what I see and no one more so than the media.
He could have skipped the Kelly stuff, I think.
Yup. Call me old school, but trying to score political points over a man’s dead son is classless. The media and Trump deserve eachother
Depends on if Kelly is bitter about it and articulated it to Trump. If yes, he’s just backing him up, if no, yeah, it’s scumbag politician grandstanding.
It isnt the first time he mentioned this. He called Obama on this some time back in the campaign so I would think they have talked about it.
Cared for the families by sending their loved ones back to them in body bags because his national security team was a mixture idiotic baboons and feckless warmongers? That caring?
Meanwhile he got some rounds of golf in on installation golf courses. Yeah, real caring man of the troops there.
https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/920328738767859712
“I’m Lindsey Graham and even when I try to talk tough I still come off as effeminate, also I approve this smear”
Graham just needs to spend more time with beautiful Filipino boys and shut the fuck up.
The Senator turned toward the man. “I am hungry.”
“Yes, Senator.”
“And I wish to be diverted while you’re clearing out that bill and studying its secrets for me,” the Senator rumbled.
The Congressional Page lowered his eyes. “What diversion does the Senator wish?”
“I’ll be in my sleeping chambers,” the Senator said. “Bring me that young fellow we bought on Luzon, the one with the lovely eyes. Drug him well. I don’t feel like wrestling.”
“Yes, Senator.”
HE WHO CONTROLS THE BUDGET, CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE.
To be fair, I loved Lindsey Graham in the off Broadway production of “Gone with the Wind”. His Scarlett O’Hara was dead on
STEVE SMITH ON PODCAST WITH TOM WOODS, WAS PROMISED FOREST RAPE, NO GET IT. STEVE SMITH SEE YOU IN COURT TOM.
“Tom Woods is a rape apologist for agreeing with Steve Smith in a segment of the interview that I will now take completely out of context. #libertarianmoment”
– Nick Sarwark
STEVE SMITH JUST SAY HE TIRED OF RAPING EPA AGENTS, WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO SARWARK IN PERSON. BY TALK, MEAN RAPE.
Also, shame on Sarwark for insulting Canadian icon Steve Smith.
Notice RC mentioned the bark scorpion above. The last time I was in AZ we were hiking and shooting along the Gila river near Winkleman I discovered that every single rock had a scorpion living under it. They were the stripe backs I think. Of course those little fuckers live just about everywhere. Hell, they are right here in my yard in Louisiana. Find any hilly area, find a dead pine with loose bark and you can be sure it is full of the creepy little bastards. I dont think we have any bark scorpions, thank god, the striped backs are bad enough.
Come to think of it I dont think there are any dangerous animals, aside from Grizzlies, that dont live in my state.
I lived in Phoenix for seven years and learned to never walk around the house barefoot (scorpions come inside on a regular basis).
I’ve been in Iowa for 25 years now, and I still don’t walk around barefoot.
Because you can still get frost bite inside?
Corn Spiders!
They are rare here, but we do have black widow and brown recluse in Iowa.
No. We keep the thermostat a few degrees above freezing in the winter months. We can keep the door to the fridge open as long as we want.
I have lived here for years and never seen a single scorpion.
Rattlesnakes? Yup.
Big spiders? All the freaking time.
but no scorpions.
I find that remarkable. The sonora desert has scorpions like Louisiana has fire ants. Where in the state do you live?
Fire ants.
This year they got to me. I haven’t had them on my property since I bought the place, but they came this year. I have area sprayed the place twice with two different kinds of poison, but haven’t managed to kill them all yet. I have made progress.
I hate the little fuckers. My 5 year old got into them several times this year. I have had to treat bites on his legs and back every time it happens.
You are wasting your time. Every time you spray and kill the ants there is a clutch of eggs waiting to hatch. The best you can hope for is to keep the numbers down a bit. Use the baited poisons like Amdro on the mounds and you will have the most success but dont use the same poison two years in a row, alternate so they dont become immune. Some people pour gasoline on the mounds and let the liquid and fumes permeate the mound . That works great but it leaves a dead spot in your yard where grass wont grow for a year or two.
Despite our best efforts, including statewide aerial spraying and poisoning , they have spread here until you can just randomly stand anywhere outdoors look around for a minute or so and find multiple ants scouting around. They are a real plague. Mounds are everywhere and pop up overnight.
As for the stings there isnt much you can do. Best strategy is to disinfect and dont scratch at them. If the blister breaks keep triple antibiotic cream on it.
The worst thing about fire ants is that animals that keep their young on the ground, especially birds nesting on the ground (quail, turkey, etc) will begin to disappear. The ants kill the young.
I’ve had some success spraying with ant killer I bought at the co-op. I haven’t tried the bait type poison. Maybe I’ll do that before it starts to coold off this fall.
Everytime my boy has gotten into them, the best thing I have found to work is a warm bath with and a good washing. He’s good about. it scratching the bites, but I have had a few break open. Like you said, triple antibiotic is the best thing at that point.
Blame Ft Polk. Fire ants loooove military reservations.
“Oh this looks like a nice place drop my ruck… FFFFFFFFFF!!!!!”
Fort Benning nods in agreement.
Best way to kill fire ants? Molten aluminum.
Dammit! I now wasted 45 minutes watching aluminum used to make ant hill casts, moving on to watermelons, and then hydraulic presses and industrial shredders used to destroy random household objects.
KILL IT WITH MOLTEN METAL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz-xnair92o
Oh, yeah. We have fire ants, too.
Any solpugids?
And those things. Yup, see those occasionally, too.
First time I saw one of those…Creeped me out – they used to come in to snag mice in our base in Afghanistan.
The ones I see aren’t nearly big enough to kill mice. So, I guess I guess we’ve got that going for us.
First time I saw one of those…
We managed to capture one and hid it under a coffee mug on our shop foreman’s desk. No, we didn’t much care for him.
Oh man, I would have soiled myself.
Yes, we have ’em. I have lived here all my life and spent most of that outdoors and yet I still occasionally see some kind of bug I have never seen before. It’s a swamp, what can I say.
A week ago I saw a bright red furry jumping spider about the size of my thumbnail. I had never seen one before that. I leaned down to get a good look and it reared up on its hind legs and raised its forelegs up menacingly. then it ran away. It was kind of cute actually.
We live near one of the national parks. It provides an endless supply of pack rats, scorpions, snakes, javelinas, etc.
I killed a bark scorpion in the bathroom last night. I’m amazed you’ve never run into them.
Fun(?) fact: scorpions fluoresce (but, sadly, don’t burst into flame) under UV light. People around here get UV flashlights (for sale all over the place) to go look for them at night. The last thing I want to know is how many of the evil hellspawn are around my house after the sun goes down.
Gila Monsters. Don’t forget those relentless motherfuckers.
But this is what’s about living in AZ. The weather sucks 3 months out of the year, the local flora is covered in spines and the local fauna all want to kill you. Quite frankly it weeds out the weak.
Oh yeah, Gila monsters. We see them occasionally (2 – 3x/year). I am under strict orders not to kill them. They worry me, because they can climb walls and could easily get into the yard with the Dean Beasts.
Protip: They move real slow-like, until they don’t. Like, when you try to pick one up with a shovel (yeah, I said “pick up”, not “hammer flat”, see strict orders above).
Even more exciting is when you have one on the shovel, and he’s looking right at you, mouth wide open, with nothing between the two of you but the handle of the shovel, which is looking very . . . traversable.
Shovel? Fuck that.This is the right tool.
I have lived here for years and never seen a single scorpion
They’re more common if you live near the mountains/open desert and it you have fruit trees.
(checks….) Dammit, he’s right. If they don’t have them, they import them!
sometimes a bow works
I have lived here for years and never seen a single scorpion.
I remember watching some show about Arizona, and this guy comes on and says that very thing. The entomologists took him out to his favorite camping spot and fired up a black light. There were scorpions all over the pace (they glow, as i recall) .
What I say about the rattlesnakes: Just because I don’t see them, doesn’t mean I’m dumb enough to think they’re not out there.
Scorpions…Blackout?
…? Oh, black light!
An old man once asked me if the snakes were bad on our timber property. I said “No, we dont have any”. In disbelief he asked me how I knew that and I answered “Well, I haven’t seen any”.
He wouldn’t speak to me for a week after that.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/17/us/politics/alexander-murray-deal-obamacare-subsidies.html
Alright, the Senate has reached a compromise on the insurance company subsidies! And by compromise I mean that nothing will change at all and there will be absolutely no change to Obamacare!
“This takes care of the next two years,” Mr. Alexander said. “After that, we can have a full-fledged debate on where we go long-term on health care.”
oh FFS you spineless cowards.
Just give us 2 more years and we will repeal Obamacare. In the meantime, Vote Republican. All we need is 25 more senate seats and we will be able to fix this healthcare mess.
Here’s hoping Congress knocks itself out to save OCare, and when the bill gets to Trump, he says “I didn’t run on saving ObamaCare, I ran on repealing it.” And vetos the bill.
… and he gives you a pony. If you’re going to come up with unrealistic fantasies, don’t go for half-measures.
*fantasy pops like a soap bubble*
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
I doubt it. I’m pretty sure trump would sign anything from a straight repeal with deregulation riders to single payer.
Are you suggesting that Trump isn’t a man of principle? I’m shocked. Truly shocked.
That mountian lion graph is way, way off. Ends too far west.
*glances down at what appears to be scar tissue from a bullet wound on right thigh*
Oh, muthafuk a brown recluse. Kill em on sight.
the back of my left hand agrees with your thigh, Kill em all!
You shot the spider?
Nah, just missed him. I’m a shitty shot.
RC, have you ever been to Bother yet? Neat little town. If you go stay at the Copper Queen on the 3rd or 4th floors. Those are the most haunted. And take the haunted tour. There is a cool shitty bar called St. Elmos that apparently stayed open during prohibition.
Bisbee. Bisbee. Bisbee u fucking autocorrect
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_S62Iz6-fd0
Fun little story from a Bisbee resident.
I’ve been to Bisbee. The CQ is a cool old hotel. I was there on biz, so I didn’t hit any of the bars.
You weren’t doing business right then.
Well, maybe it was the kind of biz where the official warning label says “Do not mix with alcohol.”
only squares read warning labels.
Yeah. And?
make your own lean-to
One more critter to add to the list:
Jaguars are back in AZ.
I can see the mountains where they are living from my house, but they haven’t made it to Tucson yet. Probably got dumped just over the border by their coyote smuggler, is my theory. We do have black bears and mountain lions in the mountains around Tucson. Haven’t seen them yet around the house, but the mountain lions tried to kill one of my neighbor’s horses a few years ago, and the people we bought our house from have a picture of two mountain lions in the backyard. I’m cool with never seeing apex predators (well, other than me) around the house.
I thought AZ was already filled with cougars… huh, the things you learn..
Tjere are mountain lions in the mountains just to the north of where I live. I have never seen one in the wild, but I have heard them. A mountain lion’s scream will chill your blood.
I had one of those bastards stalk me once. You think the sound of one will chill your blood? Try looking up just in time to see one doing a cat-sneak toward you from 50 feet away. When I stood up and pointed a rifle at him he stopped sneaking. He just walked right up to me within about 15 feet. We stared at each other for a few seconds and then he just walked off like nothing happened. It was amazing to watch him walk through thick, dry leaves and make no sound whatsoever. It was like he was floating.
I sometimes wonder if that cat wasn’t one of the tame ones that someone set loose. Maybe he was hoping I would take him home and give him a bowl of Meow Mix. The experience was surreal. Yes, I had to go home and change my pants.
I’m amazed you didn’t pop him when he took his first step toward you after you threw down on him.
I bet he was semi-domesticated. The few times I’ve seen them in the wild, they have been very skittish.
His demeanor changed to non-aggressive. His body language was that of a cat casually walking up to get petted. I never did lower the rifle and kept a bead on him the whole time but I really, really did not want to shoot him. They are beautiful animals and relatively rare. Still, I didn’t want to be lunch either.
Funny (but bone-chilling)! Up here we usually only see the hind end of them unless they are caught napping and stuck in a tree as you blithely walk past. Clenched butt-holes and race-walking abound. They aren’t much of a threat, it’s the bears that I hate.
Where’s my shocked face? HI judge blocks latest travel restrictions except for Venezuela & North Korea.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/federal-judge-blocks-trumps-third-travel-ban/2017/10/17/e73293fc-ae90-11e7-9e58-e6288544af98_story.html?utm_term=.b24224eba681
Keep pissing your judicial authority down the drain!
I wonder if SCOTUS will let this stand until it makes it way onto next year’s docket, or slap it down fast. Because for damn sure the 9th won’t overturn.
They overturned the 9th’s hold on the last travel ban. I’m going to guess the administration skips the 9th Circuit and goes straight to SCOTUS for relief, since the 9th has become a political body and should not be respected or listened to
Chief Justice Dean would call the chief judge of the 9th and tell him he has a week to overturn it. If he just wants to be embarrassed by SCOTUS, that’s cool, we’ll overturn it in 8 days, but I’m giving the 9th the opportunity to redeem themselves in public.
The 9th, I think, already has the worst record at the Supreme Court. I saw a statistic that something like more than a third of their rulings are overturned. Somehow, I don’t think they mind being embarrassed.
Still, I would support a Chief Justice Dean
These fuckers are trying to govern and push the left’s agenda through the courts. The presidency and legislature was taken from them so they will just use the courts. I dont think this will work out well.
Heavy
I have a very hard time reading those kinds of stories. Breaks my heart. She said she couldn’t breathe and you sit there another 2 minutes? Fuck just typing that is hard…
At least it wasn’t the one about the lady who burned her 1 and 2 year old alive in the oven.
Wondering how long until right-wing trolls turn this story into a mocking version of the Eric Garner meme?
Fuck Chuck
Chuckles the Clown is actually a decent senator. But he does maintain a raging boner for ag subsidies even at his advanced age.