ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ MUST ONCE AGAIN PROVIDE HIS CHOSEN ONES WITH SUPERIOR ADVICE, LEST THEY HEED THE BRUTAL “DEAR ABBY“. ZARDOZ DID NOT RAISE YOU FROM BRUTALITY, AND GIVE HIS CHOSEN ONES THE GIFT OF THE GUN, JUST TO HAVE POOR ADVICE FROM A BRUTAL SIDETRACK YOU. PAY HEED! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: DEAR ABBY: I’m a woman who was honorably discharged from the military recently and am now in an electrical construction apprenticeship. I’m starting a great career in a field I love that can give me a comfortable living without having to rely on a second job.
My problem is my family. Most of them are convinced that I hate men or I wish I was one. The rest are sure that I will emasculate anyone I would start dating.
My family is basing these opinions purely on what I have chosen to do for work. In their opinion, because I chose to work in what is considered nontraditional employment for “nice young ladies,” as they put it, and can work on my house and car without extra assistance, it must be true.
I have tried repeatedly to explain that what I have chosen for a living has no bearing on my gender identity or my sexual orientation. They are completely ignoring anything I have to say about my life and life choices.
Sometimes I wonder how I’m even related to these people. If I were asked to deploy back to the war zone, I’d happily leave tomorrow, because it would be easier than dealing with the small-minded, narrow viewpoints I’m encountering here at home. — HOW CAN I MAKE THEM LISTEN?
A: ZARDOZ IS DISPLEASED. YOUR CALLING WAS AS A BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR, YET YOU LEFT THAT TO BEGIN MAKING HOMES FOR THE BRUTALS, WHO ARE LEGION. WORRY NOT WHAT YOUR MISERABLE BRUTAL FAMILY THINKS – WORRY WHAT ZARDOZ THINKS! RETURN TO THE RANKS OF THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS, AND CLEANSE YOUR FAMILY. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: DEAR ABBY: My sister “Eileen” is married to her second husband, a man I’ll call Harry. He’s nice, but some of his choices landed him in jail for a while. I’m polite when we see him, but I don’t trust him.
Eileen and Harry live beyond their means. They rent a large house and buy luxury cars rather than something more economical. These are my observations; I never mention them to my sister. Although she’s happy to give advice on what’s wrong with my life, she becomes defensive if anyone else says anything about how she lives.
My concern is, she refuses to visit or spend time with me and my family without her husband. Before our mom’s death a few years ago, I offered to buy her an airline ticket to fly here for a few days to visit. Because she’s very organized, I recently invited her to come — at my expense — and offered to pay her to help me declutter my house. She declined both invitations because I wouldn’t buy a ticket for Harry. (I didn’t have the money.)
I think my sister’s marriage is very co-dependent. Abby, what should I do? — WANTS SOME SISTER TIME
A: ZARDOZ HAS WEIGHED THE DILEMMA, AND HE HAS AN ANSWER FOR YOU… YOU MUST GO TO YOUR SISTER, AND BE SURE SHE HAS NOT CREATED NEW LIFE WITH THIS SECOND BRUTAL SHE HAS MARRIED. IF SHE WILL NOT GO TO SECOND LEVEL MEDITATION WITH YOU – SHE IS TO BE SHUNNED, AS ANY BRUTAL WHO POISONS THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: DEAR ABBY: My husband works for a small company owned by a nice couple. They have a teenage daughter who keeps asking to baby-sit our three kids.
Abby, we have a special needs child and a new baby. Although the girl seems to be kind and responsible, our children would be a challenge for an adult, let alone a teenager.
Also, we are on a very tight, one-income budget with money needed for therapies. I don’t want to mention it because I don’t want to insinuate they aren’t paying my husband enough, but it is a serious deterrent.
How can I gracefully decline her offers without offending my husband’s employer? Keeping him in good standing with his company is my primary concern because he works hard and loves his job. — ANONYMOUS IN THE USA
A: ZARDOZ FEELS HIS WRATH AND DISPLEASURE RISING. YOU WORRY ABOUT MERE BABYSITTING?! YOU HAVE THRICE CREATED NEW LIFE, TO PLAGUE THE EARTH WITH THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. THE ONLY CONCERN YOU SHOULD HAVE IS HOW TO ATONE FOR THIS GRAVE ERROR. REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE, IN PENITENCE, AS ZARDOZ DISPATCHES BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD SEIZE THE BRUTAL BOSSES’ BUSINESS AND PUT THE STAFF TO WORK, GROWING GRAIN FOR THE VORTEX…INCLUDING THE PUSHY TEENAGE BABYSITTING BRUTAL. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Comments
302 responses to “ZARDOZ ANSWERS DEAR ABBY, ONCE AGAIN”
Ima say that first one is about as reality based as a Penthouse letter.
What say Zardoz to brutals enjoying glossy flesh-mags?
For a minute there thought you were referring to flesh-lights.
Anyone who does not use a fleshlight is a Luddite. You do not take such a great advance in masturbation technology and toss it to the curb.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN INQUISITIVE ONE.
NO! THEY CAUSE PENIC ERECTION. THE PENIS IS EVIL! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS AND MAKES NEW LIFE TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN, AS ONCE IT WAS.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Is that a form of penance?
Stop trying to get a rise out of Zardoz, it’s not a good idea.
He should loosen up…not be so stiff.
Sure, but I don’t want to be around when he explodes.
Cum on, guys!
“Cum on guys” – Mike S
You heard it here first folks, Mike S is super-mega homo.
Q is deflecting! He’s the actual super-mega homo!
NTTAWWT butt you gais need a room for the hard ragin’ debate you got deep into.
both of you
Wait, Q. Us 8-bit avatars gotta stick together. What do you say? Pact?
*holds hand out*
*holds hand out*
*cough*GAY*cough*
*takes Mike’s hand*
No homo.
Wait, I thought jesse was the super mega homo around here?
Great advice Zardoz.
Oh and I need an electrician so if you have her number I am sure we WOULD work out a deal with that 1st female. If she can do plumbing I might marry her.
I thought you were the one who was supposed to do her plumbing?
It wasn’t a euphemism, I need a new bathroom yo.
*hot veteran chick shows up in lingerie*
“Hi bacon, I’m here to check your plumbing”
“OK, it’s right back here”
“Why don’t you slide your pants down and we can have a close look at the real problem…”
“That’s ok, I’m having some problems with my toilet and, BTW, shouldn’t you have some tools? It’s ok, you can borrow mine.”
“What the…?”
Just fix the damn toilet, I have a load cooking.
“I have a load cooking”
Literal LOL. I’m stealing that one. Thanks bacon, you’re the best
Bun in the oven?
Loaf in the breadbox.
Magnum round in the chamber.
Grunt a sculpture. Or, drop a deuce.
“i gotta burn a mule!”
My older RACIST™ brother:
Drop the Cosby kids off at the pool.
Yes, he has tiki torches in his backyard.
Meth?
Do you want her to “do plumbing” or not?
For the first one, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that her choice of career is not the only thing her family is basing their “she hates men” opinions on. I just can’t see anyone saying “oh, you’re a female electrician? You obviously must hate men”, without any other sort of evidence.
How dare you imply she has a closet full of flannel shirts and a biker wallet with extra long chain.
tee hee
To be fair I’m in construction and I hate men, so there’s some correlation. Of course I hate everyone so maybe not so much.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN H8ING ONE.
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED A CAREER AS A BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR? THINK IT OVER.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Do you offer a dental pla….(notices ZARDOZ’s grill)…Um..,I’m not really looking for a career change right now, but I’ll keep you in mind.
http://cdn01.dailycaller.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Melania-Trump-and-President-Trump-Halloween-feature-shot-1-1-e1509404878554.jpg
Trump: Many people have said that this is one of the classiest costumes ever. Some have even said maybe the classiest costume of all time. What’s your name?
Kid: My name is Tommy
Trump: Good for you, Jimmy
Kid: Tommy, not Jimmy
Trump: Jimmy, your support means so much to me. So much.
Kid: Your squeezing my arm….you’re hurting me
Trump: Don’t leave me Jimmy. Everyone is mean here. The failing media, the lying Republicans- who wouldn’t have won re-election if it weren’t for me, by the way. General Kelly won’t let me watch my shows anymore
Kid: I got to go
Trump: No, Jimmy. Don’t go Jimmy. NO!
Did you see his presser with that gaggle of journalists’ kids? Hilarious. So cringey. I don’t care what people say, he is not a man who is comfortable around people, or in front of cameras. That would go a long way toward explaining why he’s so inarticulate: he’s not necessarily dumb, but he trips over his own tongue and can’t form sentences when he’s nervous. It’s only when you throw a bunch of kids at him that the distinction between stupid and inartful becomes obvious.
I did see that presser
https://twitter.com/NBCNightlyNews/status/924000163852464128
Trump meets with the children of reporters.
Trump: Your parents are very bad people. Some say, the worst.
Kid: *sobbing*
Trump: You’re crying? You don’t know that your mommy is a terrible person?
Kid: *still sobbing*
Trump: Get her out of here. Get her the hell out of here
*VP Pence grabs child and hustles out of the room*
*Trumpista rallygoer drops her with a right cross*
*Crowd goes wild*
He’s such a cartoonish man. Between him and his bat shit crazy opposition, it is a never ending source of amusement.
If we didn’t have a Trump, it would be necessary to invent a Trump.
We do. Every time a Republican wins the presidency the press and the Democrats (redundant) invent a cartoonish parody of the sitting president. The funny thing is that this time, the Republican president is beyond parody in his buffoonish and ignorant nature and so the press and Democrats (redundant) have resorted to being cartoonish parodies of themselves.
I’ll just leave this here
HOW CAN I MAKE THEM LISTEN?
TALK LOUDER
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN NON-THREADING ONE.
CORRECT. OR, POINT A VERY LARGE REVOLVER AT THEM.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Congratulations, Brooksie!
Getting Zardoz’d is an honor. Even though stone-head sure has thin skin…
Um…looks like an example to me.
Trump should definitely dress up as Hitler for Halloween.
Oh that would be freaking epic.
Or as Charlie Chaplin. Close
I think Stalin would be slightly funnier. Or maybe Boris Badenov. Melania could be Natasha.
“Ve should be out mak-kink bug trubble for Bill and Moose!”
very nice.
Agreed. Well done.
To be honest. I can’t see the hil-beast as either Moose or Squirrel. So I couldn’t come up with anything clever to post in that vein.
outstanding
Love it.
Shut it down, Vhyrus nailed it. Melania in her tallest heels, Trump with the apostrophe mark mustache, both of them doing the accent.
Dear Zardoz,
My wife doesn’t want to watch a horror movie tonight, even though it is Halloween. Instead she wants to watch some other movie that’s probably a romantic comedy. How do I convince her to shut-up and just do as I say?
Sincerely,
No Movie For You
Compromise, watch a scary comedy. Or ignore her suggestions entirely and put on Zardoz.
I watched Zombeavers last night.
i laughed.
I will look that one up when things calm down this weekend
It’s a wonderfully terrible film. My girlfriend hates it.
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil could work as a horror/comedy. Or if you want to stick with the romantic comedy, go with Shaun of the Dead. It’s a romantic comedy that just happens to have zombies in it.
All three are good choices. Shaun of the Dead is a classic
I can’t think of the director, but that whole slew of films with Simon Pegg is great.
same with Spaced, I think that tv show had the same director.
I got my wife to watch Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. That was the last time she agreed to watch a movie with me without looking it up on the internet first.
huh. my girlfriend showed it to me.
The girlfriend will complain about my love of terribly cheesy horror films, and bitch about how dumb they are, while she’s laughing out loud the entire time. And while I’m thinking about it, other films you could pitch:
Zombieland – action comedy with zombies
Little Evil – same director as Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, had some good bits, but TD v E is superior
Cabin in the Woods – Deconstruction of horror films
Trick ‘r’ Treat – Anthology with a couple of short stories, more on the horror side then the comedy one
Odd Thomas – The girlfriend almost cried at the ending to this one
If you want to sell a real one, and probably sleep on the couch:
Hellraiser – It’s about a women who loves a man so much she works to bring him back
Cabin in the Woods is the only Joss Weedon film I can stomach. Everything else he’s done is a pile of bacon’s toilet clogger.
Tut, tut. No respect for the classics.
Army of Darkness, FTW.
R C Dean:
I’m trying to go a little out of the ordinary for movies. I expect everyone to have seen the Evil Dead series, as well as Ash vs. Evil Dead.
Just for you, I’ll add to the list:
My Name is Bruce – Bruce Campbell playing a caricature of Ashley Williams who gets kidnapped by a fanboy to fight off a real supernatural threat.
“Shop Smart! Shop S-Mart!”
My Name Is Bruce also has Ted Raimi being culturally insensitive. (among many roles)
It’s about a women who loves a man so much she works to bring him back
Leave Her to Heaven is about a woman who loves a man so much she goes to extreme lengths to keep anybody from getting between the two of them.
The 1970s The Stepford Wives
Or any bad 1950s/60s B horror, like The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.
Just Say’n,
Watch her movie and play grab ass with her the whole time. She’ll learn to stop with the romantic movies eventually or you will get lucky more often.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN MOVIE VIEWING ONE. ZARDOZ WOULD SUGGEST TRAPPING THE FEMALE IN A NET, AS THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS ARE WONT TO DO.
SHOULD THIS FAIL, DO AS THE CHOSEN FLORIDIAN SUGGESTS, PUT ON “ZARDOZ”. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Compromise and watch Asian Street Hookers 3.
Watch Audition. From the Wiki: “It is about a recent widower, Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi), whose son suggests that he find a new wife. Aoyama agrees, and with a friend, stages a phony audition to meet a potential new partner in life.” Hijinks ensue.
“Hijinks ensue”
…..well, that’s one way to describe it.
Great movie btw.
Shaun of the Dead, imo. Romantic comedy with zombies, or zombie movie with romance subplot.
Great minds commodious.
Scary comedy: American Werewolf In London
“Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot! Winston Churchill was full of shit! Shakespeare’s French!”
+1 Jenny Agutter
“Benjamin, have you ever been severely beaten about the face and neck?”
You are in the wrong line of work if you don’t want people speculating on your affinity for fish tacos.
More excellent advice from ZARDOZ. Time for a syndicator to pick up this column.
since he talks about a plague of men, I’m sure he could get a front page posting from everyday feminism.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN FLORIDIAN AND CHAFED ONES.
ZARDOZ DOES NOT HAVE A CURRENT WRITING GIG. HAVE YOUR BRUTALS CALL MY BRUTALS. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
*Edit Brutal Help ZARDOZ*
ZARDOZ, who is “ZARODZ”?
Lol. Cattbutt time. Or extermination.
Oooh, something much nicer than either of those two!
Yeah she’s hot.
That’s a tough choice between brunette edit faerie and thicc edit faerie. I guess I’ll just take both.
OOOH. Slutty emo fairy.
*proposes with revolver*
“He went to Zarodz!”
*staggers up to begin prolonged and thunderous ovation*
Outstanding.
Beautiful.
I hope ZARDOZ doesn’t cleanse that EDIT fairy, ’cause I think she’s my favorite. Damn!
That’s an edit fairy I can get behind… if you know what I mean.
Today’s head-in-ass winner:
Why Exploring Space And Investing In Research Is Non-Negotiable
Why, those are all excellent questions! Please show us your amazing handwaving skills in the following paragraphs!
They’re right you know. They should hang all of those heretic scientists while they’re at it. (sarc)
Well if were in danger of nuclear war then I don’t think you can really say we are in danger of not smashing particles together.
many particles will be smashed
Great, go right ahead. Who’s stopping you?
Well, the investments need to be made with your money, friend!
When someone says their demands are non-negotiable, well, I take them at their word and stop, you know, negotiating.
*thumbs .308 rounds into magazine, tells M1A “Yes, there will be no negotiation. This is your time now.”*
My thoughts exactly. If I have what you need and don’t want to give it to you for free, that’s pretty much the textbook situation where negotiation comes into play. Negotiation being preferable by far to the alternative.
The problem with leftists is that pretty much none of them are fully developed adults mentally or emotionally. Therefore you see outbursts of behavior like ‘I demand’ which is very common among toddlers, especially the spoiled ones who have never been told no or faced any discipline over their behavior. Then you have the leftists who are able to insulate themselves from the real world and so stay in a toddler like state permanently. I blame their parents and academia.
It’s just the luddites again, same as always.
Let’s all just go back to our caves now.
If only there were some decentralized system for allocating resources efficiently…. then it could decide what needs ‘investing’ in, and we wouldn’t be so hamstrung by politics…
I was hoping someone would bring up socialism.
1- Is the teenager hot? Maybe this lady feels threatened…
because
2- if money was really such an issue then get your ass a day/night job (which ever is opposite from your husband.
3 – She wants to arrange a three-way with the babysitter and is afraid of mixing business with pleasure.
^Winner ^
I’m a woman who was honorably discharged from the military
Maybe you are having trouble finding a man because you keep talking about your discharge.
ew
See? Even the perverted slice of anthropomorphized bacon is grossed out, lady.
Perverted?! Well I never…got called out by someone more perverted than me.
If it rains tonight I’m gonna be pissed, I have a lot of Evil to dish out (and some candy),
ZARDOZ, Give me a Sign? A blessing?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN SCHEMING ONE.
SHOULD IT RAIN, JUST THINK ABOUT PASSING OUT WATERLOGGED CANDY. THE DISAPPOINTMENT ON THE YOUNG BRUTALS FACES WILL SUSTAIN YOU FOR SOME TIME.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Just give them the hard pot candy and beer in cans, like every other respectable Glib. I mean you don’t hand the stuff out, that’s what orphans are for, just make sure they don’t steal anything.
How does Zardoz handle the mini brutals who will be out begging for food later on today?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN PRIVATE ONE.
UTILIZE THE LORE FOUND IN THE TABERNACLE FROM TIME OF OLD, WHICH ZARDOZ SEES WAS ALL COMMONPLACE ACTIVITY – PUT PINS AND NEEDLES IN CANDY, RAZOR BLADES IN APPLES, DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF DRUGS IN CANDY AND THROW OVA AT THEIR HOMES.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chicagoinc/ct-met-gutierrez-trump-impeachment-1101-chicago-inc-20171031-story.html
Hey I know a constitutional scholar who is free.
And worth every penny.
Perfect response.
You get what you pay for.
Hah! nice
I don’t really care how much time they waste on this non-sense. It’s perfectly clear at this point that they are no going to spend any amount of effort on winning elections. So yeah, it’s all good.
Not too far from me: ERMERGARD! WE NEED TO BAN TRICK OR TREATING!
He just wants the kids to have an extra memorable Halloween. I don’t see the problem here.
The receptionist and an elderly client are talking about people handing out “marijuana candy” to kids.
They’re just worried about the bear attacks.
That was actually pretty funny, though I don’t really understand the bear connection.
Ask ’em for the addresses where people will be giving away candy selling for $5.00 apiece.*
*totally made up pricing, but they won’t know that
100mg candy bar, about the size of a cookies and cream bar goes for about $20-30, before tax.
or so i hear.
Today’s advice was spot on.
It did have a nice flow to it.
Grow up you big baby.
https://www.mlssoccer.com/post/2017/10/31/jozy-altidore-chants-rba-theres-no-loyalty-anymore
Try going to play in Europe where they’ll chant things about 1000x worse than anything the fans here could come up with.
Who?
+1 stream of profanity.
He seems to have really thin skin. You would think he would just roll over his opponents since they all seem to be 2/3 his size but for some reason they get in his head and he turns in to a whiny bitch. There I said it.
+1 Altidore has always had a ton of potential and he could be great if he’d ever get his mind in the game. He’s doomed to being second tier because his mental toughness isn’t there.
Take Dempsey’s attitude with Altidore’s physical gifts and you’d really have something.
He already tried that and failed, which is why he’s in MLS.
Since I will be out of pocket for the Aftanewn Lynx, I present you with your PM titties early.
https://archive.is/10Mdi
Don’t fap to them all in one place.
14 is a repeat and well worth it. 16 is…. golly gee willakers and 19 is what I’d like to envision the electrician girl from ZARDOZ question 1 looking like.
Lot of dat ass in this one.
Thanks.
1-38 btw. If I had to choose 3 it would be 8.10.21
15, because she seems well-read.
I’m sure you’d like you engage her in a spirited debate about the themes explored in L’Étranger IYKWIMAITYD.
Its doesn’t matter. 21 is the winner.
Just call me a 22.5 cause I wanna be sandwiched between #22 and #23
After reading the actual plot synopsis of Zardoz the movie, I enjoy the Zardoz posts that much more.
No plot synopsis can do it justice. It must be experienced in full.
Watch the movie….but get a bit of a buzz on first.
I realized recently that one thing I miss from TOS is being screamed at that I’m a secret Republican. You people need to up your abuse, because the local dominatrix just thinks I’m weird.
That sounds like a request to bring Eddie and John back.
Naw, we need more left ‘libertarians’ like chemjeff or Bo that give anyone on the left every benefit of the doubt while constantly fixating on the Republicans as the source of all evil.
Did you consider joining reddit, The Reddit brigades swarm any and all libertarian subs.
I want a little bit of screaming retard in my life, not subscribe to their newsletter.
chemjeff was a good commentator. He was honest and not a buffoon. It would be nice to have left-libertarians in the mix
He came here briefly; I guess this place was too red for him.
That’s a shame. I’d take a chemjeff over a John any day.
I am glad to do without both.
“Fuck you, you fucking lying asshole”
– John
(Glibertarian August 2017- September 2017)
I believe it was ‘Fuck you , You lying Prick.’
Not a buffoon? I’m gonna need some visual proof of that. He was very Bo-tard in nature.
And when most of the “official” libertarian online world has been tacking hard to port, I can’t say I’ve been pining to hear more from them.
I remember chemjeff offering some fair points before and understanding the counter point of view. I’m not going to disagree that the “official” libertarian online has mostly become a watered down version of progressivism mixed with neoconservatism, but they represent such a small and ever shrinking minority. I didn’t see chemjeff as being as dishonest or ignorant as some of the writers at TOS who had no business being called ‘libertarian’.
Citation freaking needed!
I don’t think he was dishonest, but I do think he was sort of willfully naïve.
Chemjeff’s pretty goddamn ignorant actually. Nearly everything he argues is determined by his immediate emotional response with arguments built around it, so it falls apart on first contact with the enemy.
Alright, then what left-libertarian commentator at TOS did you guys appreciate?
Mortiscum or whatever his name is isn’t even a libertarian and I still prefer arguing with that guy over chemjeff’s ‘you’re all infected with Republicanism and if you don’t support open borders you’re bad’ schtick.
Also, chemjeff is your classic ‘lives in an American bubble’ idiot. He said he couldn’t figure out whether Mark Steyn is a Republican or a Trumpist.
Mark Steyn is a goddamn old school Tory thank you very much.
A true Tory is a Catholic and opposed to war. Ergo, Steyn is not a Tory
If you ignore centuries of political thought, sure.
Americans don’t get to have a say on what ‘no true Tory’ is. This here’s Commonwealth territory.
The original Tories who arose during the Glorious Revolution were overwhelmingly Catholic and were opposed to the protestant merchant class that dominated the Whig Party. They both weren’t fully fleshed out parties, but the Tories believed in the divine right of kings, supported rural interests over urban interests, supported protectionism, believed in Catholic emancipation, and opposed overseas adventurism.
And four centuries following that they were Anglican church supporters and monarchists, and in America they were just anti-Revolution…
This is like throwing libertarians onto the left because ‘that’s where they would have sat in the French National Assembly’.
You specifically said “old Tory”. That is a specific term referring to pre-Burke Tories
If you’re going to be pedantic, because Mark Steyn is Canadian, ‘old school Tory’ would refer to Canadian Tories of the 1800s.
No, chemjeff’s Mommy-and-Daddy-Republican issues made him a buffoon. He also actively projects and thinks that’s why others have a ‘Republican’ bias, which is entirely dishonest. He won’t even admit he’s a left-libertarian and thinks he’s some kind of perfect middle of the road libertarian who goes after ‘both sides’. This being the guy who constantly tried to pimp the ‘Trump is a national socialist’ narrative.
At least chemjeff offered some opinion versus a Sparky who spent most of his time hectoring other commentators for speaking bad of a writer at TOS
That’s it! What was most irritating about chemjeff was the way he liked to style himself as some kind of paragon of pure libertarianism. Hey, I know I’m not a “pure” libertarian, and that I definitely lean towards the right/yokel side of the fence…..but I don’t pretend otherwise.
It’s a sure way to get 1000 posts when the next fight breaks out.
Chemjeff v John threads when they both get worked up is how you get a good fight because it’s just retardation on both sides. It’s no fun when someone is being rational.
Screw you John Titor you conservative maple sucker.
See, that doesn’t work because at least we have a conservative party up here, I just loved the people who freaked out about the secret evil Canadian Republican cabal. PB once called me a Christfag because I pointed out Jefferson wasn’t an atheist.
John Titor, you are a racist, homophobic Republican. Once you own up to this fact we can work on your homosexual attraction to John McCain.
How did I do?
Better, but you forgot my sexism and the (recent) fact that I want to run over immigrant children.
In fairness, I want to run over immigrant children too.
In an F-150?
* Quietly purchases additional shares of Ford*
Yes. Ideally the Raptor. Some of these kids are fast.
Ok here goes, I’ll do my best…
Jeez Titor, I thought you were one of the smart ones. Turns out you’re just a Christfag SoCon who thinks that only procreative missionary sex should be permissible, and it must be pleasureless. You probably think that anyone who’s even smelled “the evil marajoowanna” should be locked away for life. How does Trump’s cum taste? I bet you love it. Fuck you, you lying prick.
Was that alright?
God, it’s like left-wing John. I threw up a little in my mouth. Thank you.
Anytime buddy.
So Tony when he’s trolling?
Naw, Tony spends too much time on his “look at me I’m smarter than you” schtick than directly insulting you. John’s tactic is to try to tear you down into accepting his premise, Tony’s is to elevate himself until you just accept the views of your betters.
It’s funny. I’m listening to the audiobook on negotiating that someone (RC Dean?) suggested to Lachowsky. John and Tony break pretty much every rule in the negotiating playbook.
There are times when Tony is not trolling?
He goes by Jonn. He’s an environmental lawyer living in Langley. He prefers women who have gone on the Andersonville diet.
is someone claiming that man is alive in that photo?
Is that one of sarcasmic’s girlfriends?
Dem tits doe.
“You people need to up your abuse”
Fuck off, Tulpa!
Don’t tell me what to do you flappy-headed Canadian!
Hey, relax, buddy.
I’m not your buddy, pal!
He’s not your call guy .
Pal, not call.
John, you have a call waiting on the white courtesy phone.
Did you say Fall Guy?
Let’s not jump to any conclusions, Florida. Call guy is a legitimate profession, one of the oldest, after all.
call guy
Freudian slip?
Sometimes a typo is just a typo.
I was thinking a Floridian slip.
Yeah you’re gonna hafta do a damn sight better with me around, buddy. Now where’s my MAGA hat?
http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2017/10/31/strangers-on-delta-flight-performed-sex-act-in-their-seats-officials-say.html
They did The Flying Cougar all wrong.
Going to need pics of the 48 year old woman to determine if I approve of this or not.
The perks for being a Platinum Medallion level flier have certainly gotten better.
I don’t think that’s what Delta meant by free drinks in Comfort+.
Also, I want a Cytotoxic Return Tour just to see how he justifies his freakout about the election and how ‘Trump was going to completely destroy the Republican Party forever’ in hindsight. Although I’m guessing it’d just be some comment about how Americans are stupid.
We do need more trolls here. To be sure.
I’d take an honest left-libertarian. Chemjeff was a good foil. But, no Hazel Meades. She did a bad job at pretending to be libertarian and not just a run of the mill progressive
Hazel’s problem is less than she’s a progressive and more that she has active mental issues.
That sounds like a “too much clutch, not enough throttle” kinda problem.
I figure I’m as close to left-libertarian as you’re going to get around these parts, though I’m probably more center. Still hate Trump, still think he’s a cancer on this country, though not any bigger than any other politician (and not as big as Hillary would have been). Does it count as left libertarian if my view on social issues is “you can do whatever the fuck you want to as long as you’re not infringing on anybody else and not forcing others to do what you want?”. That was probably left at one time, but now..
I think that’s more the libertarian view, the ‘left libertarian’ view has been more recently and broadly expanded to ‘but you’re not allowed to criticize certain groups for what they do or portraying them or their actions negatively or you’re really alt-right.’
The left-libertarian view has completely jumped ship and frankly they don’t even resemble libertarianism anymore. They’re fully on board with the Left’s culture wars and they don’t really care if the government gets involved to impose that worldview. They argue that funding Planned Parenthood and transgender surgeries in the military don’t cost that much so it’s not that big of a deal. Their motto has basically gone from “whatever you want to do, so long as you don’t impose it on anyone or force anyone to pay for it” to “whatever you want to do, and those who don’t want to pay for it or have it imposed on them are bigots anyways”.
One of the issues is that libertarian just seems to be a buzz word for everything. On the left, it’s a buzzword for “people with scary ideas” (hence the focus on the Koch Brothers). But it’s also something that people glom onto without actually understanding what it is. Bill Maher calls (called?) himself libertarian. Bill Maher! And there are a lot like him.
Unlike some of you, I think ENB and Robby (and Gary Johnson) are, or were, actually libertarian, at least at one point. TDS changed that. It’s why I don’t think Glibs exists right now if Hillary wins the election. Reason continues to report the way they did during the Obama admin, and we all go on.
I disagree with your characterizations of ENB and Robby. I think Gary Johnson is libertarian leaning, but I don’t think he even knows what it means. I would shit myself if I found out that he had ever read anything by Hazlett, Rand, or Rothbard. I’d shit myself if he ever even mentioned them or anything that they believed.
Also, I disagree that Glibs wouldn’t exist if Hillary won. I got sick of TOS not because of their TDS, but because they were faltering in defending free speech. When conservatives are greater defenders of free speech than so-called ‘libertarians’ then you know something is messed up.
GayJay decided to quit smoking weed right before running for POTUS. I mean he chose to quit a long term habit right before running for office. This folks, is how you get Bill Weld for VP candidate, totally embarrassing interviews with Samantha Bee, and naked dancing fat guys.
You’re probably right. In 2008, right after Obama won, there was a backlash. Most commenters went from denouncing Bush’s idiocy to denouncing Obama’s. However, there were several regulars who drifted away from the website. I did the same thing I did with Trump: give him a few months to see where he was going. It was soon obvious that he was going to ignore the few things he’d promised that I liked (Transparent AF! Well, he was, just not in the way he meant) and go whole hog on the things I’d hated.
I think the UBI encapsulates left-libertarian thinking. They still look to taxes and government as means to ‘level the playing field’ in regards to wealth distribution, alleviation of poverty and provision of ‘public goods’. The libertarianism comes in that they try to reduce the amount of control that the government has on individual decisions.
Maybe even believing that public goods exist is a sign that you are bit to the left of the spectrum.
Reason continues to report the way they did during the Obama admin, and we all go on
Disagree. Reason was already tanking during the election, and was in gradual decline before that. I miss the days when Sheldon Richman was the whipping boy, because at least he had something useful to say once and awhile. People like Soave and Dalmia, and the decline in editorial standards, were already destroying it. It would have been more gradual, but the signs were already there.
Gary is pretty close to libertarian, he might approach it from a side that isn’t the moral underpinnings. he’s at 3,-3 or so on the compass. a little closer to center than the LP, which I think is at 4,-4.
Robby is a young kid who probably is fairly “hands off stuff i find important”. hasn’t really made the full jump to principled “NOT AN ARGUMENT!” ancap kid. -2,-3.
ENB is probably closer to -4,-1.
Hillary winning wouldn’t have changed the decline of Reason – Dalmia, Richman, Robby, et al. “To be sure” their reporting had turned into hot-takes, many repetitive of the others. Free Speech was not an absolute.
We just want this: https://glibertarians.com/about-us/
Unlike some of you, I think ENB and Robby (and Gary Johnson) are, or were, actually libertarian, at least at one point.
I also question this for multiple reasons:
1. Robby has never articulated a libertarian argument for anything. Ever. He seems completely ignorant of any kind of libertarian philosophy.
2. ENB accepts social justice logic/narrative, which makes her inherently not an individualist. This is the person that said that she got along with cops well at the Republican Convention because of her ‘white privilege’. Um, no, that’s because of your ‘Attractive Female’ privilege, but that doesn’t fit into your social justice narrative. If I wandered into an off limits area I wouldn’t have had a cheery convention with the police due to my ‘white privilege’.
@Swiss the big ‘tell’ for me was the Hulk Hogan lawsuit coverage. That was an open and closed libertarian issue. The sex tape was stolen, Gawker shouldn’t publish stolen property, they’re free to report on it otherwise. End of sentence. Reason, of course, has multiple articles that try to make it into an example of some kind of attack on the press.
Reason choose the Journalist Tribe over the Libertarian Tribe on a black-and-white issue. That’s all you need to know about their integrity.
Yeah, the Gawker thing didn’t help either. They bungled that one pretty badly. Just another sign o’ the times for Reason’s website.
I think the left-libs fundamental error is buying into the “positive” rights perversion of the negative rights this country was founded on (and which is fundamental to libertarianism, IMO).
When you view positive rights (properly defined as “stuff the government should force other people to do”, such as buy your birth control or bake you a cake) as rights rather than as privileges, then the slope is well-lubed for you to join the progs in their culture war. Because you can’t have a real culture war without the issue at hand being “what side should the government take, and how can we use the government to enforce our views”. Get past the positive/negative rights problem, and the only thing you are talking about is what society should look like, not who gets to decide what society looks like.
The proggertarians agree that society should look like what the progs want it to look like. Once their squeamishness over enforcing this vision using the state was disposed of, well, you get the current state of Establishment Libertarianism.
I’m not aware of anything in Robby or ENB’s work history that shows a natural affinity for libertarianism, but I haven’t obsessed over it, either. I think ENB is more of an accidental libertarian on a couple of her hobby-horse issues. Robby I see as more of a Weigelesque opportunist, cashing libertarian paychecks while he waits for his dream job with the DemOp Media to show up.
ENB is accidentally libertarian about sex-work, and that’s about it. And even that is more of a strain of feminism to her than individualism. If only men engaged in sex-work, she would probably have no fucks to give.
ENB is even less libertarian than Rico; not that that’s a high bar to clear.
We could get Hugh. He’s not much of a troll, just stupid.
Lone Whaco.
Going for full retard are we?
Fine, don’t forget to leave joe and MNG out.
Mary!
Too stalky. White Indian might gambol into your backyard.
NOOO!!!!! We’d have to burn the site, to disinfect!
It says a lot that even youtube comments thinks her Kizone personality is utterly deranged and insane.
WE HAVE A CONDITION OMEGA, I REPEAT, CONDITION OMEGA
PLEASE STAND BY FOR THE CLEANSING FLAME
We have arrived, and it is now that we perform our charge.
In fealty to Ron Paul, our undying lord and the grace of the Gold Standard,
I declare Exterminatus upon the blog Glibertarians. I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire website, consign over a hundred souls to oblivion.
Doing God’s work, commenting in some of the meanest threads in America!
Dude, I know it’s Halloween, but don’t take the scares *this* far, you hear me?
Hercules Triathlon Savinien.
How about White Indian? Crayon? Mary Stack. If we’re going troll, we have to go big.
How about buttplug?
He got catassed on his first day here.
He tried, and got banned…early.
I admit that I sometimes enjoy Tony when he gets stupid drunk around noon. He says some stuff that is so dumb you can hardly believe it’s possible anyone thought of it, let alone that he’s serious.
Tony is more clever than he lets on. He’ll occasionally drop really thoughtful things on dead threads much to my annoyance. I think he’s just really effective at kicking beehives and doesn’t put much effort in to create pages and pages of angry responses.
Yes, I’ve seen him do that many times. It’s almost if he suddenly out of nowhere gets self aware for a moment and is completely so caught off guard by it that he posts something intelligent and then marvels at it for a while. Then he immediately goes right back to stupid Tony.
I think that one of the best troll meltdowns of all time was when Tony threatened to have all libertarians killed with guided missiles and even posted pictures from Raytheon’s website to prove how totally serial he was. That and the time he went on a rant about how he hates poor people. Right after accusing libertarians of hating poor people.
Who is White Indian? That is one of the memes at TOS that I never knew the origin of.
White Indian was a deranged troll (who I think at one point was taken over by Mary) who would always ask if he was free to g-a-m-b-o-l and demanded people ask tough questions of politicians and upload the videos to youtube. Long deranged screeds, and added nothing to any conversation.
I thought Lone Wacko was the “ask this question, upload the answer to YouTube and they will be destroyed!” guy?
I’ll pass on the trolls, though I wouldn’t mind seeing at least one completely bonkers looney toon like Herc around here.
OK, HERC I would be amused by.
Hank Phillips? There are few as loony as him.
He was 1000% sure Trump was going to lose in landslide fashion. Nevertheless, Cytotoxic was absolutely right about the 2016 election anyway; just ask him.
My favourite part was him talking about how the only way to stop people from voting for him was to mock them as idiots constantly. I mean, you have to have a very retarded view of human psychology to think that works with an outsider candidate and a secret ballot.
Cytotoxic is a punk. His ideology is nearly 100% neocon. His only philosophy seems to be bomb everyone and bring the ones here who are still alive.
Cytotoxic is a punk. His ideology is nearly 100% Objectivist.
Fixed it for you. Cytotoxic just regurgitates Randian talking points.
He sounds a lot more like Lou Dobbs or Lindsey Graham to me.
“Bomb the savages/open the borders to savages” is textbook Objectivist nonsense.
(Savages being used in the context of how Objectivists view them)
I’ve always found Rand’s foreign policy to be distasteful. Her bellicose foreign policy position is probably why Buckley wrote her a glowing obituary and tore Rothbard apart in his own obituary.
OK. I’m going there. We need Hihn. Judge me all you want.
BULLY!
Whatever goes on with the other site, Remy remains awesome
Agreed
(Seriously, watch this. It’s probably the best Remy song they’ve done, which is saying something.)
Agreed. Remi and Stossel the only things from TOS that I still watch.
I’m curious as to why they have not been ostracized from TOS yet.
2Chili is still terrific, too.
Remy is the best.
EPIC!
We need to get Remy over here. We may not be able to pay him, but I’d work overtime to find the best tits on the internet for him.
How could he say no?
Awesome
A similar (but old) video from Chris Ray Gun.
OK, I’d love to see Polanski tarred and feathered as much as anyone and I also enjoy topless women probably more than most. However, I fail to see what one has to do with the other.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/31/women-activists-stage-topless-protest-at-roman-polanski-event-as-new-rape-allegations-reported-7041213/
Well, it’s not like he’d be interested in an adult topless woman.
Is there anyone left anywhere in the entertainment industry who are not now accused by multiple women of sexual assault? Some of which has supposedly happened up to 30 years ago? They started that stupid MeToo thing and all of the sudden all the cool kids have to raise their hand or lose social ranking. But it is nice when the media participate in destroying their own.
Kevin Spacey.
“No…NO! They’re NOT flat! They’ve got SIZE and CONTOUR and VOLUME!! AIEEEEEEE!”
Where’s Meryl Streep when you need her?