STEVE SMITH’S COMPETITOR UPDATE

THERE NO DENYING THAT STEVE SMITH UNDISPUTED CHAMPION. OF RAPE.

BOW TO YOUR RAPESEI!

HARVEY WEINSTEIN TRY TO TAKE CROWN, BUT FAIL… STEVE SMITH STILL SEE MANY WHO ASPIRE TO TITLE. STEVE SMITH SHAKE HEAD SADLY AT THEM. PERHAPS STEVE SMITH SHOULD GIVE THEM PERSONAL DEMONSTRATION OF SKILLS. SEE WHAT STEVE SMITH MEANS:

  1. THIS ONE THINK HE 50 SHADES OF RAPE, IN NYC.
  2. THIS ONE JUST WRONG IN MANY WAYS.
  3. CREEPY ACTOR SEEMS TO HAVE TRIED TO CATCH STEVE SMITH TOTAL. NO CHANCE, DON’T CARE HOW MANY STORIES COME OUT.

STEVE SMITH REMIND EVERYONE – LEAVE RAPE TO RAPESQUATCHES. NO DO IT YOURSELF. THAT JUST NOT RIGHT.

Comments

342 responses to “STEVE SMITH’S COMPETITOR UPDATE”

  1. The Other Kevin

    Wow, I’m first? Was everyone else afraid of the “prize” they’d get for the first comment?

    1. jesse.in.mb

      STEVE SMITH DEPLOY PRIZE NOW

      1. commodious spittoon

        AND BY PRIZE, MEAN

        well, you can work it out.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Hopefully you can work it out … with a lot of KY and some tongs. If you can’t you may have to go to the ER and have a professional work it out.

          1. Like a cat dong, it is barbed.

          2. STEVE SMITH MORE OF A CORKSCREW SHAPE.

    2. The Other Kevin

      My first “1”. I’d like to thank Harvey Weinstein. Seriously, without his work this post wouldn’t even exist.

  2. Just Say’n

    WHAT STEVE SMITH OPINION ON SORORITY GIRL CULTURAL APPROPRIATION?

    http://dailycaller.com/2017/11/03/sorority-system-condemns-member-for-dressing-up-as-pocahontas/

    COLLEGE GIRL DRESS SLUTTY FOR HALLOWEEN, BUT WRONG KIND OF SLUTTY

    https://twitter.com/reaganwest_xo

    SHE STUPIDLY APOLOGIZES

    HOW CAN SOLUTION BE RAPE, WHEN THOSE ANGRY ALREADY BUTT HURT?

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      One of my daughters friends that she went trick or treating with (she’s 8, people) was dressed as Pocohontas. I was personally very offended by such cultural appropriation. Even worse, her sister (she’s 2, people) was dressed up as Moana.

      I was so triggered.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Oh, and her cousin and younger brother were both dressed as police officers, which was an act of violence against any PoC in the neighborhood.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          (the friend’s cousin and younger brother. I’ve only got the one kid. How do people survive more than one kid?)

          1. Caput Lupinum

            Alcohol. That’s how my very large Irish family copes, anyway.

          2. Just Say’n

            That’s how the Irish cope with everything

          3. bacon-magic

            Way to collectivize us.
            *takes a swig*

          4. That’s how the Irish I cope with everything

            *opens bottle of kirschwasser*

          5. Just Say’n

            I am married to an Irish woman and suffered under the yoke of Irish Catholic educators for twelve years of my life. I now live in a heavily Irish part of Chicago where everyone’s arms are pasty white, but their faces are rosy red.

            I have been oppressed by the Irish all of my life. It is a love/hate relationship

          6. Nephilium

            Is there a better way to cope?

            *Looks at clock, looks over at tap handles*

          7. Playa Manhattan

            Yep.

            *PSHHH*

            Was that a beer opening?

          8. Brett L

            If you were Irish, you’d know.

          9. jesse.in.mb

            Because of The Curse?

          10. Rasilio

            4 kids here

            Mostly we don’t

      2. CPRM

        My 4yr old nephew was a ninja (strike one) and his face was painted black (strike two)!!!!11!!!

      3. R C Dean

        What’s the difference between celebrating other cultures and appropriating other cultures, anyway?

        1. CPRM

          “It’s not the content of your character, but the color of your skin”- that dude they name streets after

          1. Playa Manhattan

            – in really bad neighborhoods

        2. Playa Manhattan

          It’s celebrating when it’s forced, like “celebrating” diversity. If you do it on your own, it’s appropriating.

        3. wdalasio

          What’s the difference between celebrating other cultures and appropriating other cultures, anyway?

          If you derive any happiness, joy or benefit from it, it’s appropriation. If you do it to demonstrate your obeisance to the noble victims of Western Cultural Oppression ™, it’s celebrating.

        4. Rasilio

          Where you sit on the intersectional victimization matrix

      4. <— Dresses up as Amos and Andy

    2. Just Say’n

      When I was a lad, the Chicago Bears had won the Super Bowl which was (and remains) a super big deal in the city’s neighborhoods. My parents dressed me in Walter Peyton’s jersey for Halloween. No one seemed to think that was a problem, but I wonder if that would be considered cultural appropriation today, because I didn’t share Peyton’s skin color

      1. Drake

        Cancer-zombie sweetness Halloween costume might be offensive.

      2. TK

        When stuff like that happens, I’d bet that a significant portion of black people get pretty pissed off at white people for making this kind of thing a big deal. If you have a legitimate issue with society, its annoying to have it reduced to petty bullshit.

    3. WTF

      How is it cultural appropriation to go as Lizzie Warren?

    4. Michael

      Normally when progs pull this shit I find it somewhat amusing, but I get super pissed when they go after hot chicks.

      How horrible of a cis-Nazi shitlord does that make me?

    5. wdalasio

      From one of the twits: white people dont (sic) get to decide what is and is not racist.

      Perhaps, Skippy. But we do choose to whether or not to give a shit about your cries of “racism”. And it’s a currency you’ve long ago debased to the point of worthlessness. Which is a shame for you because, when you get to the heart of the matter, that’s all you’ve really got going for you.

      1. Actually, white people have as much right as anyone to decide whether a thing is racist or not. To believe otherwise is itself racist.

    6. TK

      Less attractive white chicks championing the supposed plight of non-white chicks, publically shame an attractive white chick. More at 11.

      1. TK

        Ah, who am I kidding? It’s a bunch of the same shit at 11.

  3. jesse.in.mb

    LEAVE RAPE TO RAPESQUATCHES

    This is how we end up with rape guilds.

    1. bacon-magic

      *PICKETS JESSE’S HOUSE, BY PICKETS MEAN RAPES REPEATEDLY*

      1. Caput Lupinum

        Jesse is just angling for the lucrative lube supplier contract.

      2. jesse.in.mb

        Careful, a lot of the old wood on that house is splintery, I’d hate for you to injure the tools of your chosen trade.

        How *is* the The Rapist Guild mutual aid society?

        1. bacon-magic

          RAPE GUILD NOT TALK ABOUT RAPE GUILD TO SCABS

          1. CPRM

            THE FIRST RULE OF RAPEGUILD IS DO NOT TAKE NO FOR ANSWER
            THE SECOND RULE OF RAPEGUILD IS DO NOT TAKE NO FOR ANSWER

          2. *prolonged and thunderous applause*

      3. Playa Manhattan

        Can you fix his lawn while you’re there?

          1. Playa Manhattan

            OH NO YOU DIDN’T

          2. jesse.in.mb

            I’m just warding against future drought conditions.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            I recommend a controlled burn before mid-March.

          4. *over Jesse’s place*

          5. jesse.in.mb

            There’s not enough dead plant matter to actually burn. This is all very unfair.

  4. CPRM

    from the Spacey story:

    The young barman, who was 19 at the time, said he was sitting outside having a cigarette break when Spacey sat down next to him, flashed his privates and said: “It’s big, isn’t it?”

    This could could be a cultural misunderstanding, because as many of were amused to find out in middle school they don’t always call them cigarettes over there.

    1. Drake

      Maybe he just need some reassurance?

    2. R C Dean

      I can just see it:

      Spacey: Hey, where’s the other bartender?

      Waitress: He’s outside having a fag.

      Spacey: Awesome! *heads for exit*

      1. WTF

        Am I bad for laughing at loud at that?

        1. No more or less bad than the rest of us here…

          *haunted stare*

          1. Private Chipperbot

            /lights fag…

    3. Just Say’n

      He could try the George Costanza defense:

      “Was that wrong? I got to tell you, I’m going to have to plead ignorance here. I didn’t know that stuff like that was frowned down upon here”

    4. Psycho Effer

      Cigarette break = jerking a fag in the UK.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    This is how we end up with rape guilds.

    Do you want a giant inflatable rapesquatche in front of your house? This is how you get giant inflatable rapesquatches in front of your house.

    1. SOLIDARITY, BROTHER!

  6. Q Continuum

    Well shit. I have to travel to India for work in exactly one week and I CAN’T FIND MY FUCKING PASSPORT.

    Shit. Fuck. Cockassballshittyshittyfucksometittyeatingyourmomsassshitcockbitchslut. SHIT.

    1. Look harder?

      That, or an ISIS operative stole it.

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Where did you last have it?

      #PatentlyUnhelpfulSpouse

    3. Playa Manhattan

      Where was the last place you put it?

      /not helpful

      1. Timeloose

        I’ve used Transvisa and Cibit for fast turn Passports and Chinese visas. They can do it quick for a fee. If the company is paying and they are sending you I would use a service.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      I had to get one with only 5 days to spare.

      You’re probably going to have to have it next day aired from the National Passport Center in New Hampshire.

      They’ll do it for a small, large fee.

    5. CPRM

      “Pray to St. Anthony”- My Catholic mom.

    6. Gustave Lytton

      order RFID scanner from Amazon and attempt to find it that way.

      *makes note to check for own passport tonight*

        1. I love their definition of “Prompt” and “Expedited”

          It makes my agency look responsive by comparison.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            When I dealt with them, they did a great job. The guy was really helpful, called me back twice when my cell phone dropped the call, and got it to me by the next day.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            I had to get my first passport expedited and it went off without a hitch. There was a couple who had flown in, applied in person at the LA Federal Building that morning and were picking up their passport that afternoon.

            Everyone else there was chatting them up to figure out what the fuck was fucking wrong with them.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            I hate the Federal Building on Wilshire. Hate it. It’s worse than TSA security.

        2. Q Continuum

          Thanks.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Does that actually work?

    7. bacon-magic

      Think back to the last time you had in your hand. The passport.

      1. OH GOD, No!!! I don’t want to go back to that Azeri Customs room in the Baku airport!!!!!!

        1. bacon-magic

          Thank you, we come again.

          1. *Guard swaggers out, hooking pistol belt back on, goat is led out the side door*

      2. Nephilium

        And I’m back in Dublin now. Wait… that means…

        *Checks clock; realizes it’s after 17:00*

        1. This Machine

          Do you even have to wait until after 5 in Ireland?

          1. Nephilium

            I sure as hell didn’t.

      3. Q Continuum

        Earlier this morning while posting FLBP, making my coworkers uncomfortable… oh wait, should have read to the end of your post.

      4. Tundra

        Amsterdam.

        *sighs*

    8. Am I the only person who keeps track of their passport?

      I haven’t left the country in several years, but I still know exactly where it is. I even saw it there recently.

      1. bacon-magic

        You are the only person here. We are all just figments of your imagination.

      2. Florida Man

        Am I the only person who keeps track of their passport?

        Mine is inside a fire safe, inside my gun safe. I assumed we all had go bags with critical documents and assorted currency. For shame.

        1. Mine is inside a fire safe, inside my gun safe

          And you’ve forgotten both combinations…

          1. Florida Man

            I sent myself an email with the codes, that way as long as I have internet access I can recover them. Yes, the combinations are coded in a way they don’t look like safe combos.

          2. that way as long as I have internet access I can recover them

            I think I see a hole in your emergency planning…

            We have docs in a fire box and guns in a gun locker, both locked with keys. I take a pretty blase approach to securing personal, paper documents because I have terrible credit, two large dogs, and my limited budget means that most of the time I’m sitting inside my house no further than one room away from said gun locker.

          3. Florida Man

            About the only thing that takes out internet for me is nuclear war and hurricanes. I’m not really concerned about forgetting the safe combo because that’s where I keep my guns and I shoot at least once a week.

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            The master key can open anything you want given enough time. #powersaw

          5. A bug-out bag is for when you don’t have enough time.

          6. mexican sharpshooter

            I’m familiar with a bug out bag. Mine is under my desk.

          7. mexican sharpshooter

            …and bugging out in AZ means you’re probably just going to die in the desert. Better to “bug-in.”

          8. But for Florida Man, sitting there cutting open two safes means the hurricane gone and got him.

          9. mexican sharpshooter

            And yet he has that part figured out. ; )

          10. mexican sharpshooter

            And yet he has that part figured out and I’m in the desert watching the hurricane on the news. ; )

          11. Florida Man

            If I’m killed by a hurricane, I derserved it.

          12. mexican sharpshooter

            whoa, double tap.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          In Florida Man’s go bag:
          Porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of panty shields, some illegal fireworks, AND one of those disposable enemas. No, make it two.

          1. bacon-magic

            You forgot Meth and a straight razor.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            It’s a Homer Simpson quote.

          3. mexican sharpshooter

            The sale of fireworks are prohibited by law in this state
            *other customer leaves*
            Right this way.

          4. Florida Man

            Re: two disposable enemas.

            You need both a soap suds and a mineral oil enema because you won’t know what cuisine you may have to eat on the run. I’ve done the planning so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

          5. Raven Nation

            Whatever you’re planning, count me out.

          6. Timeloose

            The old Harper reference is from American Graffiti. The liquor store scene.

      3. mexican sharpshooter

        No. Its squirreled away on top of the fireproof safe. Why is it on the safe and not in it you ask? Because my wife probably put it there and couldn’t figure out how to open it. We own a unlocked steel box.

        1. ron73440

          So I’m not the only one.

    9. Get your company to pay for passport express. I got a 24 turnaround passport and China visa with them.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Spacey sat down next to him, flashed his privates and said: “It’s big, isn’t it?”

    Slightly better than, “Does this look infected?”

    1. Florida Man

      Am I the only one that doesn’t think that’s a big deal? The proper response is to whip yours out and say “I’ve seen better…every day”.

      1. That would only encourage him.

        1. Florida Man

          THats how you get the big payout, brother.

      2. jesse.in.mb

        “I’ve seen better…every day”.

        Go on…

        1. Florida Man

          Being that I’m probably the only man to have seen more penis than you Jesse, I’ll share a pro tip. If you enjoy large dongus, look for a rail thin, tall man. I’m not sure if the pituitary gland got confused and said “abandon all effort except penis growth” or what, but that’s a pretty bulletproof way of knowing before you buy. You’re welcome.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            That’s fairly consistent with my observations. Does not guarantee that he’ll use it as anything more than decoration unfortunately.

          2. Florida Man

            My take on that is, people with great gifts can be lazy because they haven’t had to work as hard.

          3. jesse.in.mb

            Eh, I’ve run into a lot of really well-endowed bottoms. It seems like an enormous waste, but I generally assume that most people aren’t going to be able to deal with the overly well-endowed-ness without a ton of warm up or there’s a bloodflow issue.

          4. Florida Man

            Blood flow issue? You mean like having a penis so large you pass out when you get an erection? I’m intrigued.

          5. jesse.in.mb

            Mostly kidding about that, but I’ve occasionally been surprised there’s enough blood to spare when someone’s particularly gangly and well endowed.

    2. Drake

      Or, “what are we going to do about this”?

  8. tarran

    That Grindr news story pisses me off:

    J.D. goes on to claim various Grindr officers were aware he was impaired at the party but did nothing to protect his health and safety.
    J.D. claims the company encouraged sexually explicit language, sexual inuendo and sexual misconduct.

    OK Asshat. If sexual innuendo prompts people to rape…. why aren’t you raping people? Gosh! It’s almost like the rapist is the one who is responsible for what he did!

    And then, if they have a duty to keep protect your health and safety, what about you?!? You don’t have any duty? You aren’t responsible for your inebriation? Other people should be financially liable if they fail to rescue you from the bad situations you find yourself in because it’s not your job to keep yourself safe?!?

    Is that what you are arguing, sunshine?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      I can’t believe that a sex app company encouraged sexually explicit language! Shocked!

      1. SHUT ‘EM DOWN!

        1. jesse.in.mb

          NUUUUUUUUUUUUU

          Actually their advertising system has gotten really egregious. Burning it to the ground might be appropriate.

          1. Just Say’n

            What are the advantages of grindr over tinder? Isn’t it basically the same?

          2. bacon-magic

            Isn’t it basically the same?

            Ummm…yeah.

          3. If you ignore the user base.

          4. Just Say’n

            Tinder doesn’t have gay people on there?

          5. Playa Manhattan

            1000% more dick.

          6. jesse.in.mb

            Any of these apps and sites need some kind of critical mass of users to be useful. Grindr is literally the granddaddy of all “location aware social networking” apps and has the most consistently broad user base for gay men.

            Tinder was something like seven years late to the game, and is mostly straight people and also designed to obscure how near or far someone is from you compared to the location-aware grids that are common with gay apps.

    2. TK

      One of my brother’s roommates scoffed when I told him that he owns his own body.

      This is someone that supports abortion as a right, drug use, etc.

      Lot ‘sa morons out there man. *kicks pebble*

  9. Nephilium

    Can the 50 shades thing die already? There’s a place near my office that just opened up called 50 Shades of Polish. Do they strap you into the chair before doing your nails?

    1. This Machine

      Huh. I woulda thought it was a pierogi joint.

      1. Nephilium

        No our Pierogi joints all have pierogi in the name, they have to compete with the Catholic churches. But don’t worry, they deliver.

        You know you want to order the Candy Bar Pierogis…

        1. pan fried wylie

          Delivery Pierogi, goddamn.

          1. Our pierogies are made with fresh natural ingredients which include real Yukon gold potatoes, butter, cream and cheeses and wrapped in a tender dough. We do not use artificial ingredients in any of our products and we try to use local produce and cheeses as often as possible.

            No GMO, I am disappoint

      2. *throws hat in the air, huzzas*

      3. Drake

        Kielbasa?

        Now I’m hungry.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      If they don’t actually have 50 kinds, you should sue.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Seriously, I took my daughter to one of those places and she took half an hour picking a color.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          “If you choose quickly, you get 2 scoops” works on 2 of my 3 kids.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            When I worked at a cafe I’d just tell indecisive customers they looked like they wanted whatever the easiest sandwich to make that day was. They’d either instantly decide what other item on the menu they wanted or just roll with it because they were incapable of making decisions on their own.

          2. Florida Man

            If I can’t decide I flip a coin. If I’m disappointed, I choose the other option

          3. jesse.in.mb

            I used to be very indecisive and started getting arbitrary in college. I don’t love being in charge, but was on a trip to Italy where everyone was crippled by indecision so I just started doing coin-tosses with a 50c piece for points where there was either not enough information or two options seemed nearly equally appealing and the trip went really smoothly. One of my companions found out and lost her fucking shit over it. The coin disappeared some time in the next 12 hours (I’m not sure if she thought I considered the coin special other than it having a nice heft when flipped).

            At restaurants I’ll just narrow it down to two options, if and pick the cheaper of the two best options. Same thing, if I’m disappointed by the cheaper of the two I get the other option.

          4. Florida Man

            I also use the half dollar to decide. Interesting…

          5. mexican sharpshooter

            They hold me accountable for that by bitching about it in the car. They know that pisses me off.

          6. Playa Manhattan

            That’s a 1 scoop penalty.

          7. mexican sharpshooter

            Sounds like you have it all figured out. Me? I just figure they don’t need ice cream in the fist place.

          8. Playa Manhattan

            The worst misbehavior is usually in the mornings, so I’ve been known to take them out for donuts and then not let them have any.

      2. Florida Man

        This is the most blatant case of false advertising since “The Neverending Story”.”!

        1. Playa Manhattan

          I rest my case. Uhh, I mean case closed.

  10. Ken Shultz

    If I could throw something into the suggestion box?

    I really like reading Zardoz doing relationship advice. I can’t help but think STEVE SMITH could also help a lot of people having problems with their relationships.

    I’m just sayin’.

    For instance, my girlfriend’s sister is a totally hot, pain in the ass, ingrate with a smart mouth. Can’t stand being around her.

    I put up with my girlfriend because I get something out of it. What do I get from her stupid sister except for an earache and blue balls?

    Nothing. And yet her sister always wants to come over to the house.

    What should I do?

    1. Florida Man

      Dump the girlfriend. Life is too short to put up with bullshit.

      1. Ken Shultz

        If you don’t put up with any bullshit, you sleep alone. Women come attached with a certain amount of bullshit. If you don’t want to go swimming, you’re gonna have to get wet.

        You sleep alone or you end up sharing the bed with the dog, which not only opens you up to ridicule from your poker buddies, it’s also impractical–since that damn little dog will hog the whole bed. I guess I give off a lot of heat. Damn dog starts out snuggling up and then goes orthogonal and pushes me away in my sleep.

        1. Florida Man

          Id rather be alone and bullshit free, than have some harpy ruining my life.

          1. Ken Shultz

            It’s her sister!

            The sister is always . . .

            There’s no society in which your woman’s sister should have any kind of relationship with you.

            She’s not my mother.
            She’s not my sister.
            She’s not my wife.
            . . . and yet she’s totally off limits.

            Keep you damn sister out of my house.

            I have friends. I don’t need your sister as a “friend”.

            I’m not going shopping with her.

            She’s not going to the hockey game.

            We’re not going to be friends.

            Oh, and women have a weird way of describing their “friends”.

            When a woman says that one of her girlfriends has a great personality, what they really mean is that she complains constantly.

            When a woman says that one of her girlfriends has a great sense of humor? What they really mean is that she complains constantly.

            When they say that one of her girlfriends is really smart, what they really mean is that she complains constantly.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Oh, and women have a weird way of describing their “friends”.

            Observational comedy night at the Glibs Lounge. Tip your veal and try the waitress!

          3. Florida Man

            Then set clear boundaries. It’s your house, right?

          4. Ken Shultz

            I’ve done that.

            Live long enough with any woman, and eventually you’re either moving closer to her family, or her family is moving close to you.

            The one that moves is the one with the least amount of money–if you stay married.

            They say that divorces are most often over money and where to live. The where to live part is probably universally about her moving to be closer to her family or her not wanting to leave her family behind when you need to move for a job or something.

            Anyway, there are certain aspects of being in a relationship with a woman that just aren’t going away because of . . . whatever.

            If you marry a Canadian goose, you’re flying south for the winter.

            If you want to mate with a salmon, you’re swimming upstream.

            Rationalizing it away isn’t going to change anything, and if you make an agreement and she somehow breaks it when it’s time to fly south, then that’s really your fault.

            You’ve heard the story about the scorpion and the frog? That was the frog’s fault.

          5. Florida Man

            Obviously there are always compromises to any situation. You just have to decide what is important and what you can let slide. If the sister is a major problem, that’s not going to change, so cut GF loose. If you can set limits and they are respected, rock on.

          6. Nephilium

            Huh… my girlfriend prefers my family to hers. Of course, she’s only got a couple of aunts and a grandmother at this point. Some of them come over to my house once a year for Thanksgiving, that’s it. I may see one of the aunts at most 3 other times through the year, and the grandmother maybe twice. Hell, I didn’t even know she had a step-brother until we ran into him at an event one year.

          7. Ken Shultz

            Yeah, eventually, when it becomes too much of a pain in the ass, you split up–but that’s almost always the woman involved’s decision.

            That’s not always obvious, but when you start thinking of breaking up, chances are she’s probably beaten you to it by three to six months.

            If I were willing to compromise a little more, I’d have been married . . . a number of times already. I regret not marrying one of them, but to compromise for that, I’d have had to convert to Islam.

            If I had my life to live over, I’d have made that compromise. I’ll always regret that. If there’s a parallel universe somewhere where we’re married with kids, I’d change places with that Ken in a heartbeat. Maybe he wishes he were me, but I doubt it. I bet he’s in the happiest of all possible worlds–practicing some religion he doesn’t really believe in.

          8. Florida Man

            Religion is a pretty big issue and you can’t fake it. I told my wife before we got married that I’m an atheist and won’t convert to Catholicism. If that’s a deal breaker then let’s sort that out now. She was okay with it and I support her by taking her to mass, but she knows I’m just there so she can feel welcome to practice her religion. The only time it’s been an issue is this week her sister wants us to be God parents, but the church probably won’t approve of me. That’s life though, nothing is perfect.

          9. mexican sharpshooter

            the church probably won’t approve of me.

            The Church approved of my gay aunt as a godmother. How? I didn’t tell them and I gave them a “gift.”

          10. ^this, this, thisity, this this^

          11. Playa Manhattan

            Mass? You need to renegotiate.

            I won’t even drive my kids to Hebrew school.

          12. Playa Manhattan

            Uh oh.

          13. Festus

            Yep. Ex’s family were all warm, welcoming people. We got along swimmingly and I miss having them in my life. Five years of relationship building gone in an instant. Her little sister was pretty hot, though.

          14. Michael

            ^^^ TRUTH ^^^

            One of my past relationships is proof of this. It was going wonderfully right up to when her sister came into the picture. Her sister was older, objectively less attractive and single, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to conclude how that played out.

          15. thepasswordispassword

            So here’s what you’ve got to do, find the most loathsome, controlling asshole you can and pay him to date your girlfriends sister. I’m told this is an ancient technique that has remarkable results.

        2. Women come attached with a certain amount of bullshit.

          QFT.

          Ask me how after having called out sick but still waking up in order to get our daughter ready for school and making not only her but my wife’s lunch her inability to get ready to leave the house a full hour later than normal is my fault. And we’ve been married for nearly seven years, so it’s not like I’m getting any action out of the deal.

          1. Rasilio

            You have a penis right?

            That is how it can be your fault and always will be your fault

        3. Rasilio

          yeah but the dog loves you just the way you are

          And as far as those biological urges go…

          http://www.realdoll.com

          Has you covered

          1. Ken Shultz

            Oh, that’s right about the dog, and I’ve had conversations about that with other women in the past.

            Her: “You care about the dog more than me!”

            Me: “For good reason–she doesn’t try to make me get rid of you just to make herself feel important!” If I knew you were that kind of person before we got together, . . . “

          2. Tulip

            Men ask that too.

            Him: “You care about the dog more than me!”

            Me: “And…”

          3. When did you talk to my wife?!

            *rimshot*

          4. Tundra

            Sadly, I think my wife would say the same.

            I’m just wise enough not to ask.

          5. Cats in my case.

            “What if I asked you to get rid of the cats?”
            “I wouldn’t.”
            “What if I was allergic?”
            “Well, I’ve known the cats longer, so…”

      2. jesse.in.mb

        Incorrect, have the “Hey can we have an MFF threeway with your sister?” conversation with the girlfriend and then either have her say yes improving the GF’s sister problem or have her dump you improving the GF situation.

        1. Ken Shultz

          The Costanza solution doesn’t work in that realm.

          Even the Old Testament cautions against marrying two sisters. It says it’s cruel–but it’s probably worse for the guy that marries them.

          The Costanza solution in that situation may get you put on the sex offender list.

          For the rest of your life, that’s gonna be out there. And women tell everyone they meet about everything you do and say. She’s telling everyone you suggested that.

          You can’t win in that situation.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            The Costanza solution in that situation may get you put on the sex offender list.

            Oh, I missed the point where the sister was under-age, or was coerced into sex.

          2. Ken Shultz

            I was speaking figuratively, fer goodness’ sake.

            If she tells everyone about the shit you say (and they all do), then you might as well be on the sex offender list if you suggest something like that.

            Women don’t breathe underwater and they don’t keep secrets. Everything you tell them becomes public knowledge. It’s one of the things you learn in a coed boarding school.

            By the time you get to high school, most guys have taken a trip or two to the vice principle’s office. There was a fight or someone brought fire crackers and set them off on the playground or something. Guys learn not to rat. In the Sixth grade, they busted ten of us standing around watching firecrackers go off. They brought us in one by one and put the (figurative) thumb clamps on us. No one would tell, so they called us all in at the same time and suspended all ten of us.

            First time you get in trouble in boarding school and a girl is involved, they bring her in alone, and she starts crying and tells them everything–and not just the stuff they’re asking about either. It’s hopeless. Lower your expectations.

            Women don’t keep secrets.

          3. Drake

            Then the ladies will know you expect threesomes and act appropriately.

            Never doubt the Costanza

          4. “Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?”

      3. antisthenes

        Or bang the sister, and let the girlfriend dump you. Same result, but more fun.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Pics?

    3. RAPE BOTH, GO BACK TO WOODS.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      It sounds like you’re asking for permission to use hidden cameras.

      The answer is yes, as long as you post the highlights here.

      1. Ken Shultz

        +1

    5. Pope Jimbo

      Why do you have to choose between STEVE SMITH and Zardoz? Couldn’t it be both? A much manlier version of Love Line? Maybe call it BRUTAL RAPE LINE?

      1. pan fried wylie

        They just don’t have the same chemistry that Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew had.

        1. I dunno, that might be interesting. Remember, Zardoz stayed with STEVE SMITH when he was drying out.

    6. Psycho Effer

      A ZARDOZ and STEVE SMITH debate about relationships would be interesting… But then STEVE SMITH would just rape the Brutals and then ZARDOZ would cleanse them. Too easy.

      1. Yeah…that does kind of sound like their answer to every relationship.

  11. Ken Shultz

    Buried in the tax reform package is this little tidbit:

    NFL Lines Up Against Stadium Provision in Tax Plan

    In a season filled with political clashes, the league is now preparing to oppose the proposed removal of a tax break for stadium construction

    The National Football League is pushing back against a provision in the Republican tax bill that would get rid of tax breaks for cities and states that borrow money to fund stadiums for sports teams.

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/nfl-lines-up-against-stadium-provision-in-tax-plan-1509660444

    Rand Paul and his boyfriends here at Glib, presumably, are against cutting income taxes unless they’re cut all the way down to zero–along with all the other taxes, too–but for the rest of us, there’s a lot to like in this tax plan.

    1. Just Say’n

      Did Rand come out against the tax plan? I bet he votes for it

    2. Rand Paul and his boyfriends here at Glib

      *sigh*

      *halfheartedly reaches for catbutt collection, wanders off instead*

      1. Just Say’n

        No, that calls for a cattbutt

        1. Psycho Effer

          STEVE SMITH-BUTT

          1. NO ONE SEE THAT AND LIVE!

      2. bacon-magic

        Rand Paul and his boyfriends here at Glib

        ALL OF YOU BULLIES

      3. John Titor

        Let’s be real, that’s probably projection about how Ken wants to hatefuck him.

        1. Florida Man

          HAWT!

      4. What the appropriate model of catbutt for when someone’s bitter or being mockably salty?

        1. I was thinking of going with an old classic:

          1. Psycho Effer

            Impressive…most impressive!

          2. That loses none of its impact no matter how often I see it. It’s like that picture of the VC getting shot in the head: horrifying, but somehow fascinating.

    3. Nephilium

      So far, the worst thing I’ve seen about this tax plan is that it has some green energy credits in it. Overall, I’m pleasantly surprised…

    4. Drake

      The also buried this shit nugget.

      The GOP’s hidden 46% tax bracket

      1. Just talked to my aunt who’s planning on retiring in six years and moving to Hawaii with her husband. They’re about to get royally fucked by the elimination of the mortgage interest income deduction for mortgages about $500k. Shit, that’s probably going to kill us on our next house.

        1. I thought the point of retirement was that you moved to someplace with low costs of living so your savings would last as long as you did.

          1. They’re both feds, and Hawaii doesn’t tax federal retirement income.

          2. R C Dean

            I just can’t see how capping the mortgage deduction is going to royally fuck them. They have a jumbo loan now and will lose some of their deduction and pay a few grand more in taxes (oh, the irony of feds complaining their taxes are too high)?

            They are planning to borrow a ton of money to buy a million dollar house in Hawaii after they retire?

            Or are they feds who hate Trump and this is just TDS?

        2. Rasilio

          Yeah, that kind of shit really needs to be indexed to local markets

          $500,000 in Columbus OH gets you a 3500 sq foot mcmansion
          $500,000 in San Fran gets you one bedroom in a 4 bedroom home without kitchen privileges

          1. Why should the Ohio residents subsidize the decision of others to live in San Fran?

        3. Drake

          If she’s 6 years away from retirement, she should be well over the hump on the mortgage and paying down actual equity at this point.

          I’m halfway through a 15-year mortgage at 2.6%. I could care less about that deduction.

          1. Yeah, I have 9ish years left, I am at 2.71%…doesn’t do much for me.

        4. R C Dean

          Does the cap on mortgage interest apply to existing mortgages or only new ones?

          Plus, I’m pretty sure they aren’t actually eliminating the deduction for mortgages above $500K. They are capping the deduction.

          For a $750K loan, the interest above the cap would be around $800/month, and the value of the deduction would be, at the top bracket of 39.6% would be about $320/month, or $1,920/year. IF you can afford a $750K house, a couple grand a year in extra taxes should neither kill your finances nor blow up your retirement. If your aunt is planning on borrowing a million bucks to buy a house in Hawaii when she retires, well, she’s doin’ retirement wrong.

          And nothing should be indexed to the local cost of living. You’re living somewhere expensive, why should you get a tax benefit for that?

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Existing is grandfathered as I understand it.

          2. Dr Mossy Lawn

            Current CAP is 1Mil… so that is lowered for new mortgages to 500K… current mortgages from 500k-1Mil can still deduct (grandfathered) re-fi and take out equity today before the change goes in… (reminds me I have to do that, won’t break the 500K level).

          3. Psycho Effer

            Get ready for a short term explosion in high end home sales.

          4. antisthenes

            Why would you base it on the value of the house, though, unless just catering to envy? First of all, it’s just subsidizing people with high interest loans, and punishing people who put more down on the same amount of house.

      2. RAHeinlein

        The AMT is eliminated, so I don’t believe this is an actual increase. However, the lack of tax cuts for high-earners as well as increasing number of “zero” Federal tax-payers is a peeve.

    5. Ken Shultz

      FFS, y’all focused on the Rand Paul bit?

      LOL

      There’s a point there to be made about making the perfect the enemy of the good, but it wasn’t supposed to be so serious.

      P.S. Rand Paul is still wrong on replacement, and we still have ObamaCare largely because of Rand Paul.

      1. BakedPenguin

        If he’d gone along with that bill we’d still have Obamacare anyway, and the R’s would have given the D’s a prime talking point that its constant failure was the result of the new legislation. Paul is one of the few Stupid Party members who doesn’t fit with their designation. They were elected to repeal the fucking pig, not put lipstick on it. It’s just that they are more scared about being called mean names by the media and at cocktail parties than screwing over their constituents.

      2. bacon-magic

        Focused? That’s all I do is read your first and last sentence.

      3. Rasilio

        And there is also a point where a couple nice to haves aren’t enough to be worth sacrificing your beliefs over.

        Sure you need to compromise to score wins but you also need to hold your ground on the things that are really important

    6. Ken Shultz

      And getting rid of such a tax break sounds like a really good idea–like getting rid of the state tax deduction.

      It creates a moral hazard, and somebody somewhere in the Republican coalition appears to understand that and had taken the initiative to fix it.

      1. Yeah, but don’t you think it’s a little convenient that they way they remove the moral hazard doesn’t result in tax cuts?

    7. TK

      I’m one of Rand Paul’s boyfriends? *flutters eyelashes*

      1. DOOMco

        I don’t even mind sharing.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    I have to travel to India for work in exactly one week and I CAN’T FIND MY FUCKING PASSPORT.

    Pffft. Just download the app.

    Whaddya mean, there isn’t one? I blame TRUMP.

    1. Just Say’n

      Me at a bar five years ago

      *outside smoking*

      Guy: I just got back to India
      Me: That sounds neat. Where did you go?
      Guy: Mentions some place that I never heard of
      Me: Is that by New Delhi
      Guy: Yeah. Have you been to India?
      Me: No, but I saw Slum Dog Millionaire so I get the drift

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Uffda. I was going to make a joke about Q needing to curry up and find his passport for his trip to India, but now it seems derivative of your comment.

  13. Raven Nation

    Behold the brilliant, unbiased reporting of the BBC. In a blurb for their “Newshour Extra” podcast titled “Do We Need Economic Growth?”

    “Donald Trump has said his proposed tax cuts will be ‘rocket fuel’ for the US economy. He is the latest in a long line of political leaders chasing economic growth as a key policy objective. We are told again and again that GDP – Gross Domestic Product – growth is good for the economy; it lifts people out of poverty, provides jobs and investment, and improves lives. While there is general agreement about the need for growth in the developing world, what about the costs of growth in the rich world? Is growth accelerating environmental damage? Is it causing greater inequality?”

    1. “The BBC would rather the poor be poorer so long as the rich were less rich”

      -Paraphrasing Maggie

      1. thepasswordispassword

        She even used her hands to show the difference to the three year olds in parliament at the time.

    2. Is it causing greater inequality?

      Yeah, fuckheads, it might… we can go from a gap between the middlin’ and the rich to a gap between everyone being fucking well off and some terrifically so. WOULDN’T THAT BE HORRID?!?!?!

    3. R C Dean

      what about the costs of growth in the rich world?

      Doesn’t growth mean that the benefits exceed the costs? By definition?

      1. pan fried wylie

        other people pursuing their lives endowed with the resources to do so is not a ‘benefit’ to such an asshole.

    4. antisthenes

      Well… I suppose if we were to liquidate the left and divy up whatever resources they would have otherwise consumed, we could make ourselves better off without growth for a few years.

  14. This Machine

    Is it causing greater inequality?

    Ah, of course. Because it doesn’t matter if poor people make more money or see quality of life improvements, if it means the rich get even richer.

    1. This Machine

      Whoops, accidental Brooksing.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    While there is general agreement about the need for growth in the developing world, what about the costs of growth in the rich world? Is growth accelerating environmental damage? Is it causing greater inequality?”

    Yeah, growth sucks. I hear that all the time. Boo hoo, quaint little Bozeman is being destroyed by carpetbagging gentrifiers and profiteering real estate developers and the rest of the blood sucking capitalist ghoul rogues’ gallery. I suggest they go have a look at some of the towns in Montana in the process of drying up and blowing away and ask the people there if they’d rather have growth or stagnation.

    1. BakedPenguin

      Seriously. Ask some people who live in Appalachian, Rust Belt, or Northern New England depression towns that have degenerated into meth or opioid havens if growth would be good for them.

      1. If there’d been more private sector work, I’d never have been stuck in government. I applied and took the job because I had none, and no capital to finance a relocation.

        People who can afford to flee, are.

        1. Festus

          Damn near everyone’s parents where I grew up worked for a mill. Damn near everyone of the children that we spawned work for the government. The median age of my city is 55 years old. It’s got so bad that when you see a kid riding a skateboard you think to yourself, “Wow, A Kid!”.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    And the same people who bemoan the loss of big ranches all over southwest Montana will look at you like you just tossed their favorite pet bunny into a pot of boiling water if you say anything bad about the inheritance tax.

  17. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Regarding the college girl who dressed up like Pocahontas:

    Never, never, never apologize., ever..I’m sorry but that’s just how it is now and it didn’t buy her one bit of sympathy or forgiveness from the thin-skinned lunatics who bullied her into it in the first place. It emboldens them actually because you’ve admitted to wrongdoing.

    Also, was there a link to this horrible picture in its I undeleted state? I want to judge for myself.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Wait, found it. I’ll be smoking my peace pipe in my bunk.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Care to share?

        1. Chipwooder
          1. AlmightyJB

            Thanks:)

    2. wdalasio

      The proper response would have been to ask the twits if they were Irish, Scottish, or even English (a stretch). If not, they have no business commenting on anyone’s choices of costume since it’s not their holiday! They’re appropriating Celtic culture so that they can walk around dressed like a slut (NTTAWWT, but no one has to tell them). If they treat 10/31 as anything other than just another month-end, they’re “totally not okay”.

      1. Caput Lupinum

        The Welsh, Manx, Cornish, and Bretons would like a word.

        1. wdalasio

          Point taken. Somehow, though, I don’t think they’re the ones throwing tantrums about Halloween costume appropriation.

  18. Nephilium

    I think I found a lottery that we would all want to enter. Of course, they could also just price the bourbon at the right price, and no lottery would be needed.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Id rather be alone and bullshit free, than have some harpy ruining my life.

    AMEN, BRUTHAH!

  20. Q Continuum

    Welp, still can’t find my passport and if I dilly dally any longer I’ll miss the Straight Women Who Love Anal Support Group letting out down at the Y. Fear not, I’ll be back for afternoon lynx! Probably sans passport.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      “letting out down at the Y”. Now I understand why that group needs Anal Support. Not sure how they got that way to begin with, but it sound’s like you are doing the Lord’s work Q.

      1. Just Say’n

        It’s a battered women’s shelter. Q is sick and opportunistic.

        1. John Titor

          That just makes it more hot.

    1. DON’T LOOK AT ME, THAT IS IN AUSTRIA!!!!

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Jesse. No question.

    3. jesse.in.mb

      Meh, wooden dicks are old news in Korea

      1. Schlong Wars – Europe vs Asia…. Ready…FIGHT!

        1. Chipwooder

          I’m getting a mental picture of Bill Murray’s old SNL lounge singer doing “Star Wars” as “Schlong Wars”

          1. Excellent. That would make a great video…

  21. Nephilium

    So is Germany the European version of Florida?

    In Germany, moviegoer uses pepper spray to open beer, causes ‘chaos’

    1. Um, the article said the venue provided bottle openers…

      *shakes head, walks away*

    2. Idle Hands

      It’s always been that way.

  22. Troy

    No jail time for Bergdhal. Wow! So I take it now that in the Army your first general order is now just you first general suggestion.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Did anyone listen to the NPR podcast Serial (season 2)?

      It was all about Bergdahl and his antics. I think it was too sympathetic towards him, but I also think that it does do a good job of showing that he wasn’t some Taliban dupe. He was just a huge douche retard.

      I think he should have ended up with some jail time (I’ve seen guys get time in the brig for a lot less), but I also don’t think he deserves a firing squad.

      1. TK

        Didn’t 6 soldiers get killed trying to find the guy? I think the military would be fully justified going the firing-squad route.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I can’t remember exactly, but I think the answer was sort of a qualified no. I say qualified because there seems to be some leeway in how you read the reports.

          Here is a page on that question from NPR’s Serial Podcast.

      2. R C Dean

        He walked away from his fucking post. That’s desertion.

        The post was in an area infested with enemies. That’s desertion in the face of the enemy.

        Getting captured by the enemy doesn’t change the fact that he deserted in the face of the enemy.

        He should be shot.

        1. bacon-magic

          ^^^

        2. Troy

          He should have been shot. I would have accepted life in in prison.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Something that was suggested in passing around the donuts I donated to the office this morning: maybe the Taliban turned Bergdahl into a sex slave so the courts let him off easy.

      He should still see some time in Leavenworth, even if that’s remotely true.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Is it really sex slavery if he likes it?

        You can’t rape the willing.

  23. Roger Wilco

    60 years ago today, some Russians lost their dog

    The photo of Laika in the capsule gets to me…

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It was standard Soviet policy to only report a launch after the module successfully landed. Any failures never happened.

  24. FUCK YOU, Col. Jeffery Nance.

    1. Chipwooder

      + infinity. Motherfucker is going to use Trump’s dumb ass as a fig leaf for a decision he was going to make anyway. “Oh, I was totally going to throw the book at Bergdahl but then Trump said something stupid, so no prison time” Coward.

      The punch line is that Bergdahl is going to appeal even this absurdly light punishment because he doesn’t want a dishonorable. Unfuckingbelievable. God, I wish that whoever hears that appeal had the option to say “You know what? Col. Nance is a jackass, and since you’re appealing, I’m changing your sentence: you belong in Leavenworth for 14 years. “

    2. Playa Manhattan

      THIS was all Bergdahl’s fault.

  25. Just Say’n

    https://twitter.com/hannahdreier/status/926453745516531712

    Look at this fat bastard. While he starves his own people. He deserves the Mussolini treatment

  26. You Glibs are amazing….Morning Links had 750 comments (as of this one) and this post had 250… 1000 comments from 7-2?!

    1. Negroni Please

      Yeah but it’s over now. Everyone is furiously hitting F5 on the main page looking for afternoon links.

      1. This Machine

        “Yeah, it’s over now // but I can breathe somehow”

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Haven’t you heard? None of us work.

      1. I would be working, quite hard…IF ANY OF THE MORONS I AM WAITING ON FOR DATA WOULD PROVIDE IT!

        *kicks waste paper basket*

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          I know the feeling…
          “Please respond with action plan for each failed metric within 30 days of publishing of metric”
          *clicks metric*
          *clicks Facility 644 – Carl T. Hayden VAMC*
          *clicks SSN level report*
          “This data is not available. If you find this in error, please contact your VSSC Administrator”

          Fuck it. I’m leaving next week.

    3. RAHeinlein

      Amazing or slackers at work – who can say?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        It’s been one distraction after another today, and I haven’t even addressed the celebration of the sandwich yet.

        1. RAHeinlein

          Looking forward to hearing about your creation. I had a disgusting sandwich from a “chain” for lunch – disclaimer: in the line of duty.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            I’m running on about 3 hours of sleep, so I might opt for a nap instead. I feel so unpatriotic.

          2. pan fried wylie

            call it Mexican Patriotic, then duck.

      2. Sean

        Amazing or slackers at work – who can say?

        I can. Slackers at work.

  27. DOOMco

    So I was still a little pissed about this and decided to call the ACLU to ask why they were talking about it in general seeing as income is not a civil right, and that it’s propaganda not fact.
    got passed around a few times. finally pretended to be media (published works here count, right?), called the media office. Their web page has a picture trump with “GET READY TO FIGHT” -fight him on what? there are plenty of things the gov does that is in the ACLU’s wheelhouse, but somehow I doubt they had the image of Obama last year.

    The man on the line that finally did talk to me told me that it was an accurate statement, and that they were fighting for legislation to something soemthing.
    I think I’ll call back and try to get names and write something up. fuck off aclu.

    1. Just Say’n

      This isn’t the 90’s. The ACLU hasn’t been a reputable civil rights organization in quite some time. Most of their money is spent suing Catholic hospitals to force them to perform abortions and transgender surgery. It’s just a left-wing outlet now

    2. Nephilium

      There’s a reason the Institute for Justice gets my Amazon Smile donations.

      1. DOOMco

        Them and FIRE will get money from me when I have some money to give.

      2. Psycho Effer

        Thanks for letting me know that’s an option. I manage to derive value from this site every day.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      If you want to be more productive, go outside and yell at some clouds.

      1. DOOMco

        I took an anger-break from packing power tools.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          That’s good. Don’t work with power tools while angry.

    4. DOOMco

      Of course, now the ACLU has my phone number.

      1. Nephilium

        That’s what Google Voice is for. If you want, you can block a number as spam, and the caller get’s a not in service message. I use it all the time.

        1. DOOMco

          There’s a good idea.
          Thanks!

        2. Playa Manhattan

          If you have the right hardware, you can also use google voice to replace your land line for free.

          My ISP wants 30 bucks a month for the same service. Nope.

          1. Spartan Dad

            That’s exactly what I do. One time purchase of $40. Zero monthly free for a voip landline.

          2. Spartan Dad

            *zero monthly fee, though that is free.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Plus the blocking feature of google voice. 80% of my home phone calls are bullshit. It does a great job of filtering them.

    5. Juvenile Bluster

      More on the ACLU…

      It doesn’t look here like they’re actually denying that they lied to the court and the DOJ. In fact, looks like they’re admitting it.

      https://twitter.com/ACLU/status/926461766791581697

      1. Playa Manhattan

        “The courts found that Jane had a constitutional right to abortion”

        The courts were wrong. Sorry.

      2. R C Dean

        What’s the lie? This?

        Our lawyers informed the government that Doe had an appointment at the clinic.

      3. R C Dean

        Questions. I got ’em.

        (1) Was she locked up? If so, how did the ACLU get her to the clinic? If not, why not?

        (2) Was this case really about forcing the government to pay for the abortion? Forcing the government to release her for the abortion? Both?

    6. Playa Manhattan

      Hmm… I see that the ACLU wished Colin Kaepernick a happy birthday today.

      Glad to see that they’re sticking to their core mission.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Promoting retards?

        1. pan fried wylie

          Some things don’t need promotion. Some things, do.

          “Got Retard?”

    1. Troy

      I can imagine the pigs going over the evidence…. And over, and over. “Enhance. ” “Enhance. ” “Enhance. “

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        JUST PRINT THE DAMN THING

      2. pan fried wylie

        DIGITAL IMAGERY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY

        -Morbo

    2. R C Dean

      Actually, depending on Oregon law, its quite likely that some of these sexually active students are being (statutory) raped.

  28. A Fuggin White Male

    re: Sorority girl dressed as Pocahontas.

    Fucking hell… Never EVER apologize to these people. EVER!

  29. Chipwooder

    Some SEIU #metoo

    1. BakedPenguin

      I’m willing to bet they were male feminists.

  30. To playa, Jesse, and anyone else: cha siu hanging from oven rack method and pork butt and the “deem sum” book marinade recipe; 2 days marinade. Those drapery hooks rule. I’m going to get a silicone rubber glove to make rotating during basting much quicker. Photos out of sequence.

    ? A+ recipe approval from my Hongkonger wife.

    1. pan fried wylie

      I’m going to get a silicone rubber glove to make rotating during basting much quicker.

      WITH THE EUPHEMISMS, JEEZ