STEVE SMITH’S FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

STEVE SMITH FLATTERED BY FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE HAVING MERCH FEATURING STEVE SMITH. STEVE SMITH AVAILABLE TO AUTOGRAPH SELECT PIECES. BY AUTOGRAPH, MEAN RAPE. IMAGINE PRIDE YOU FEEL WHEN TELL PEOPLE – “STEVE SMITH RAPED THAT STEIN AND THAT BASEBALL JERSEY!”

STEVE SMITH DON’T ALWAYS DRINK BEER…
STEVE SMITH ONLY RAPE XL AND ABOVE…

 

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT STEVE SMITH. FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE COME HERE FOR LINKS!

HERE ARE LINKS FOR FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE TO MAKE FUNNY REMARKS ABOUT. STEVE SMITH GO LOOK AT LIST OF STEVE SMITH MERCH AND MAYBE ORDER A 5XL SHIRT.

  • LOOK LIKE NO MORE SYRIA TALK. STEVE SMITH NOTICE “The UN has said it will cost at least $250 billion to rebuild the country.” STEVE SMITH WONDER WHERE THEY GET MONEY? MAYBE SYRIA CAN SELL MERCH THAT SAY FUNNY SYRIAN THINGS, OR HAS SYRIA FLAG ON IT!
  • STEVE SMITH THINK THIS MAN NO MUCH LIKE WHAT GO ON IN STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS.
  • STEVE SMITH WONDER WHO ELSE RECRUIT IN GERMANY? DO FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE KNOW?
  • STEVE SMITH NOT EASILY SHOCKED (SOMETIMES HIKERS TRY TASER – IT TICKLE) BUT IS VERY SHOCKED TO HEAR POLITICIAN LIED!!! STEVE SMITH GO LAY DOWN FOR WHILE NOW.

Comments

366 responses to “STEVE SMITH’S FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS”

  1. DOOMco

    Do not put a STEVE SMITH mug, or anything with his name on it, near your mouth.

  2. Playa Manhattan

    Oh, man! And I just started drinking!

    1. Tundra

      Riiiiiight.

      1. I have been at it for…hours now.

        1. Hyperion

          #MeToo

          1. Private Chipperbot

            I just took a screenshot of Beverly D’Angelo grabbing Chevy Chase’s junk in Christmas Vacation and posted #metoo on Facebook.

            Also drinking.

        2. Tundra

          Good man!

          *tips over*

          1. Private Chipperbot

            Is that you, Guam?

          2. commodious spittoon

            This site is underrated.

  3. DEG

    A century ago, the president of the Massachusetts state Senate was Calvin Coolidge. He wrote what was then a famous tract, exhorting the Commonwealth to believe in itself:

    Coolidge was a meanie Republican. Massachusetts is woke and would never let that happen again.

    1. Charlie Baker is the Mitt Romney of white people.

    2. Drake

      That was some prime Howie Carr. Still surprises me that the Burgers didn’t kill him.

  4. DEG

    For now, Nieves will be the only Marine recruiter in Europe, but he is working with applicants from Brussels, London and Spain, so the Marines may eventually visit high schools outside of Germany, he said.

    Sounds like a sweet gig.

    1. Mr Lizard

      You know who else visited a lot of high schools?…

      1. AlmightyJB

        R. Kelly?

        1. Mr Lizard

          Well shit…damnit, and well done.

      2. creech

        Jerry Sandusky?

      3. Private Chipperbot

        Matthew McConaughey?

        1. Rhywun

          That reminds me I want to watch Interstellar again this weekend – I liked it better the 2nd time and the soundtrack is amazing. Or, it will be nite 9 and 10 of my Hitchcock marathon.

      4. juris imprudent

        Worth County Sheriff’s Dept?

  5. DEG

    If the contractors and sub-contractors refuse to cooperate, Ferguson recommended that Rhee “pursue contractual remedies” that include the “death penalty”: barring companies from doing business with the city for a three-year period.

    Prediction: Nothing else happens.

    1. Rhywun

      Heaven forbid people negotiate their own wages.

    1. Rhywun

      NR is the Charlie Brown of conservative punditry.

  6. DEG

    “The UN has said it will cost at least $250 billion to rebuild the country.” STEVE SMITH WONDER WHERE THEY GET MONEY?

    Repurposed Zimbabwean dollars.

    1. OneOut

      Venezuela could slide them 250 billion in one wheelbarrow.

  7. Derpetologist

    Jimmy Kimmel Teaches Roy Moore a Thing or Two About “Christian Values”
    http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/12/01/jimmy_kimmel_on_roy_moore_s_christian_values.html

    ***
    As it turns out, the “Christian values” route was probably not the right approach for Moore to attack the late night host. Kimmel responded to Moore’s invitation on his show on Thursday night, offering to meet the Republican candidate at the mall with some high school cheerleaders in tow: “If, when the girls and I show up, if you can control yourself, if you can somehow manage to keep Little Roy in your little cowboy pants […] you and I will sit down at the food court, we’ll have a little Panda Express, and we’ll talk about Christian values.”

    Kimmel went on to explain that he’s a confirmed Catholic who prays, attends church, and is best friends with a priest. “Christian is actually my middle name—I know that’s shocking, but it’s true,” he said. He then schooled Moore on what his “Christian values” look like compared to Moore’s:

    If you’re open to it, when we sit down, I’ll share with you what I learned at my church. At my church, forcing yourself on underage girls is a no-no. Some even consider it to be a sin. Not that you did that, of course. Allegedly. But when you commit a sin at our church, we’re encouraged to confess and ask forgiveness for the sin. Not to call the women you allegedly victimized liars and damage them even more. But maybe your church is different. Let’s figure it out together.
    ***

    1. Just Say’n

      I wish everyone in this story only the worst

      1. Rhywun

        I’ve heard that matter and anti-matter destroy each other when they come into contact.

    2. Lackadaisical

      Kimmel’s evolution into a cuck since the man show makes me sad.

      I wonder if Adam Corolla cries when he thinks of those years. I’ll have to join Just Say’n in wishing them all the worst.

      1. Hyperion

        “At my church, forcing yourself on underage girls is a no-no.”

        If he actually said that, Moore’s a cuck for not beating the living shit out of him on national TV for implying he actually did that with no proof. Them’s fightin words where I come from.

        1. RBS

          Little boys on the other hand…

          1. Chipwooder

            *applause*

      2. Rhywun

        I dunno but his evolution into Christian saint is pretty damn amusing.

      3. Hyperion

        Also, Corolla. Start watching this around 11:00.

        Left on red

        “You know how I know when it’s ok to turn left? They’re ain’t no fucking cars!”

        LOL. Maybe Kimmel ate too much soy, there’s too much of that going on.

        1. Bob

          Link no work

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      Hey, Jimmy! What does your church have to say about using the government to steal money I could use to take care of my daughter to provide doctors for your mutant son instead?

  8. Derpetologist

    Trump fumes after San Francisco jury acquits illegal immigrant charged in Kate Steinle killing

    ***
    President Trump, who invoked Steinle repeatedly on the campaign trail as an example of the danger posed by illegal immigration, fired off a string of tweets Thursday night and early Friday morning, calling the verdict “disgraceful,” and warning that “The Schumer/Pelosi Democrats are so weak on Crime that they will pay a big price in the 2018 and 2020 Elections.”

    Immigration advocates argue that Steinle’s ostensibly accidental killing has been exploited to push forward sweeping new immigration policies, and unfairly vilify millions of undocumented immigrants.

    “One unfortunate scenario shouldn’t be used to cast dispersions against every immigrant in this country and that’s what we see happening,” said Jennie Pasquarella, the director of immigrants’ rights and a senior staff attorney at the American Civil Liberties Union in southern California.
    ***

      1. KSuellington

        The media here has constantly tried to muddy the waters as to what the “sanctuary” policy is in SF. “Sancutary City” means vastly different things in different locations. I totally support it as it is done in other places. Anyone reporting a crime should not have their immigration status questioned, nor do I believe that low level offenders should. But here, the law is that city officials cannot cooperate (eg. make a phone call) to the Feds unless someone has been convicted of two violent felonies over the last seven year period. Which is insane, but very much par for the course here.

        1. trshmnstr

          nor do I believe that low level offenders should.

          Meh on this part. If you’ve already flouted immigration law (however stupid it is), it’s probably a good idea to stay squeaky clean. I have no problem with inquiring into immigration status as part of a criminal proceeding.

          1. KSuellington

            By low level I mean infractions and such. If you are getting into misdemeanors I don’t really have a problem with checking with the Feds. Violent felonies? That is absolute fucking madness that you would not be sent packing. I can’t imagine that happening in any country on this planet.

          2. KSuellington

            I’ve known a fair share of illegals, my sister married a fine one and one of my best friends married one from Brazil that came over here after working with me down there.

          3. Hyperion

            Well, may god have mercy on your poor soul if you are now stuck with Brazilians for life.

          4. KSuellington

            I spent almost two years down there as a single guy.

            That was a pretty damn fine decision in hindsight.

          5. Yusef drives a Kia

            You don’t Live in Socal , do you?

          6. Hyperion

            I’ve spent quite a bit of time down there, just not that long in a single stretch. But now I’ve been adopted by the Brazilians and I’m afraid there’s no way out.

          7. Hyperion

            But I have to admit these novelas, I’ve never failed to enjoy, including the new one with the THICC midget.

          8. KSuellington

            If that was to me Yusef, no I live in San Francisco. Native and still hanging on.

            Unfortunately Hyp, I only have one Brazilian friend her left, the Baiana that I worked with in Salvador that’s with my friend. The others moved to Texas and one went back to Goiana to make a killing in real estate with his dollahs that he got here.

          9. Hyperion

            Heh, ok, I guess it’s a little different for me. I’m married to a Bahiana.

          10. KSuellington

            Is she from Salvador Hyp? I lived there for most of the time I was in Brasil. The rest was spent traveling all over.

          11. Hyperion

            No, she’s from the wild wild west interior section of Bahia. Hint, there’s a hydroelectic damn there on the Sao Fransisco river. But when we met she was living in Recife, we still have a place there. We go to interior Bahia sometimes to visit some of her family. She also lived in Minas Gerais for quite a while and has family there as well as in Mato Grosso do Sul, which I have not been to, yet.

          12. I would hope that trying one solely on the charges that he/she/it/they/xim is accused of would be a libertarian position. Allowing immaterial evidence, even if it be kiddie diddling or card cheating, is a very bad idea.

          13. Heroic Mulatto

            But, illegals!

    1. Hyperion

      Honestly, how can someone just fire some shots off in a public space full of people and even accidentally kill someone without facing some sort of manslaughter charge? This is purely political move on the jurors part.

      1. Hyperion

        I mean being convicted, not facing.

        1. What did they charge him with?

          1. Rhywun

            Murder 1, then murder 2.

          2. Maybe should have gone with manslaughter then, if that is, you want a manslaughter conviction.

          3. KSuellington

            The jury had the option of murder 1, murder 2 or involuntary manslaughter. The SF DA is an absolute fucking joke.

          4. Hyperion

            Involuntary manslaughter was an automatic there. This was all about muh resistance, stick it to Trump!

          5. Rhywun

            Hm. I didn’t know they had the manslaughter option. So what you’re saying is the DA “convinced” them not to take that option?

          6. I think Hyperion is saying that Trump didn’t like the guy, so they voted to acquit to say “Fuck you Trump”.

            Principals, not principles.

          7. Riiiight, it’s umpossible that the prosecution over charged and then failed to proved, beyond a reasonable doubt, the charges. That never happens.

          8. KSuellington

            The SF DA is a proggie piece of shit. I heard it was badly prosecuted and I think that Hyp is partly right that the whole Trump! Resistance played a part. That and the fact that SF juries are loathe to convict criminals and would likely have zero knowledge of firearms. I actually saw a court illustration that showed the Sig Sauer with a “no safety” written below it.

          9. straffinrun

            If you watch the defense speaking to the media after the verdict, its obvious he tossed in politics during the trial.

      2. Some shots? first I’ve heard of this.

        1. Hyperion

          I can’t remember if it was 3 or 5 now. But yes, shots. Left media version: Guy found a gun and picked it up, and it accidentally went off. Sure.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            First paragraph under “Shooting.”

          2. Neither of the footnotes associated with that say anything about multiple shots . in fact from the second citation- “Lopez-Sanchez fired one shot.”

          3. Stinky Wizzleteats

            https://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/08/us/san-francisco-murder-case-exposes-lapses-in-immigration-enforcement.html

            ‘In a halting, often incoherent interview from the jailhouse on Monday with KGO-TV in San Francisco, Mr. Lopez-Sanchez said that he had found a gun wrapped in a T-shirt under a bench on the pier, and that when he picked it up, it had fired three shots.”

            Whether the three shots number was actually thee case, who knows?

          4. Hyperion

            “and that when he picked it up, it had fired three shots”

            Yeah, of course, that really happened.

          5. Stinky Wizzleteats

            To me it sounds like he found (maybe he stole it but I’ll grant him that) the gun and indiscriminately fired off a few rounds. Manslaughter should have been a given.

          6. In a halting, often incoherent interview

            Okay, you’re right , the drug addled homeless dude said the word ‘three’ that’s all the proof I need. Fricassee this asshole.

          7. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Yeah, convicting someone of manslaughter=give him the chair. Then again, with hyperbole like that you wouldn’t be The Hyperbole.

          8. Threading fail, that was meant to be in response to the other Hyp.

          9. Bob

            What would be the proper way to handle a drug addled homeless man who shoots people?

          10. Playa Manhattan

            Due process. Hope that helps.

          11. Bob

            It’s very helpful for countering the people who don’t think there should be due process.

          12. westernsloper

            One of his many recollections of the situation he stepped on it and it went off. Complete horse shit this guy did not get convicted for manslaughter.

      3. KSuellington

        It definitely was. I was hearing today on a local radio show that it was not allowed to be mentioned that the gun in question was a stolen one as there was no direct evidence tying Zarata to the theft of the BLM asshole’s gun.

        I cannot imagine that there is a better place in which to be a criminal than right here. You have a ton of wealth, if you want to do drugs they are more tolerated here than anywhere else in the country, you have a general soft on crime attitude, and the DA doesn’t really care to go after property crime.

        1. creech

          Couldn’t the BLM officer have testified to the looseness or tightness of the trigger – he surely tried it at the range a few times? Or some forensics expert looking at the recovered weapon? With survelliance cameras everwhere, no recordings of the gun being stolen from the BLM car showing identifiable thief? Same with area where killing took place – isn’t there private or public cameras in such a touristy area?

          1. mindyourbusiness

            I have a silly question: Why is a handgun needed by a BLM agent? Was he worried about being molested by a racoon? Or concerned that an irate farmer could turn violent over his water rights?

          2. juris imprudent

            Sworn LEO, and he worked out of the SoCal desert area.

    2. Rhywun

      I’m getting pretty tired of this “undocumented immigrant” nonsense from the likes of CNN and WaPo. The man was a serial felon; his only reason for being here was to pursue a life of crime.

      1. Hyperion

        And he’s already been deported 5 times and the only recourse the feds have is deport him again. After which he will walk back into CA the next day. I’m far from a tough on crime type, but fuck, the guy just murdered someone and walked free of charges, except of course, owning an evil firearm.

        1. Rhywun

          I think he’s going to some jail time, at least?

          1. straffinrun

            Yes.

          2. KSuellington

            He should be out in a couple month as he has been in county jail since it happened about a year an a half ago. I heard today that the Feds are going to maybe charge him with some crime. Even though I think it’s an absolute travesty I don’t think bringing federal charges are really the way to go.

          3. Hyperion

            I’ll totally forgive the father for whatever he does.

          4. According to NPR, ICE is poised to deport him now. ?

        2. I think they’ve already said they’re going to try him on federal firearms charges – ie. illegal felon using a stolen weapon – at least McCarthy is pushing that at NR.

  9. Winston

    Speaking of a Coolidge he was the last US President to actually reduce the debt. Truman is questionable. The last Democrat to reduce the deficit substantially was Buchanan. No joke.

    So yeah 90 years for Republican and 160 years for a Democrat. Ever reaching that would be difficult.

    1. robc

      IKeith for 2 years.

      1. robc

        Ike damn you autocorrect

  10. Winston

    So actual spending cuts are pretty impossible and will be for some time. Libertarian moment!

    1. trshmnstr

      They are and will be a non-starter until and unless risk of default (and the resultant global calamity) becomes imminent

      1. Lackadaisical

        I disagree. We will do the default/global calamity thing instead.

        1. Winston

          That would require the Dems to screw over their biggest constituencies so not happening.

      2. Winston

        If so only temporarily.

      3. creech

        The U.S.debt passed $1 trillion in 1981. It is now about $20 trillion. I bet you could find David Stockman or some libertarians warning that the debt could not be sustained for very long, etc. etc. Yet here we are 36 years later. Sure, the piper will eventually have to be paid but it would appear the old U.S.of A. can putter on fairly well and “the future” will find a way to keep passing on the reckoning to their “future.” A Starbucks latte may cost $150 in 2036, but it won’t stop voters from putting either Ivanka or Chelsea into the White House.

        1. Winston

          This too. Who knows how long the US Debt will go until it becomes unsustainable? Until then the elites have zero incentive to be libertarian. And even then that will benefit the hard left…

  11. Derpetologist

    Russia ready to use Egyptian airbases in snub of U.S.

    ***
    Egypt and Russia reached a preliminary agreement on Moscow’s use of Egyptian air bases, both sides said — in a move that’s viewed by some as a snub of U.S. military interests in the region.

    Sergey Shoigu, Russian defense minister, arrived in Cairo to meet with Egyptian President Abdel Fattah Al-Sisi and Defense Minister Sedki Sobhi. Russia published a draft agreement calling for “the exchange of airspace and air infrastructure between the two countries.”

    The deal would allow Russian use of Egyptian air bases and airspace. It is regarded as a rebuff of the United States’ waning influence in international military and diplomatic matters, The New York Times reported on Friday.

    The agreement also signals a rebuff of the Trump administration.

    Since 1973, when Cairo expelled the Soviet Union’s military from Egyptian territory and grew its relationship with the United States, Egypt has received over $70 billion in U.S. aid. The cost has been justified in part by U.S. use of Egyptian air bases and airspace.

    Cairo typically refuses use of its airbases by foreign countries, Turkey’s Anadolu Agency reported.

    Since the Sisi regime began in Egypt in 2013, Cairo and Moscow have cemented their military relations with several multi-billion dollar deals and joint military exercises. A $3.5 billion deal, signed in 2014, will supply Egypt with Russian defense systems, artillery and weapons, as well as 46 Russian-built military helicopters.
    ***

    Pretty funny they kicked the Russians out after they lost to Israel in ’73.

    “You assclowns! You said we’d win if we used your stuff!”

    1. Rhywun

      Does this mean we don’t have to give them any more foreign aid?

      1. Haha, oh you.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Do you come with the car?

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Yeah, all that aid money is because Egypt kicked out the Ruskies and is for using their airspace. BS, it’s to bribe them for Camp David.

      How much are Israel and Egypt paying for the MFO in Sinai again?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Also funny how the Trump is going to fire Tillerson has morphed into Tillerson is inept and has squandered the US’ reputation in diplomatic circles. He’s pissing off the right people with whatever he’s doing. They’re willing to destroy this country to get at him. Fucking Roperites.

  12. DOOMco

    Fight On.

    1. DOOMco

      jesus. the pac 12 refs could not suck more dick.

      1. Drake

        They should get credit for Stanford’s first touchdown.

        1. DOOMco

          It was a PI call against the wrong team, after a iffy holding call. then a fumble that was clear as day.

      2. Trade you for the assclowns disguised as B1G refs. IL-NW game has had more fouls called by half time than certain ACC seasons.

        1. DOOMco

          I still might take you up on it.
          This is the worst I’ve seen all year.

    2. juris imprudent

      Did anyone post this?

        1. juris imprudent

          Unlike certain privileged shitlords, I can’t post the pic – which is pretty damn funny.

  13. How do I retain my patience with a guy who can’t figure out things like “UNIX is case-sensitive”, “you’re typing in overwrite mode and just munged up the command”, or “it bombed because you had a typo in the word ‘patch”?

    1. trshmnstr

      Is it an attention to detail issue or an incompetence issue?

      1. The more I work with him the more I suspect the latter.

    2. I get that he has no personal initiative and can’t troubleshoot for shit, but at this point I’m on the verge of saying “can the guy and get someone else”.

    3. Derpetologist

      1. Deep breaths; happy thoughts. In 100 years, we’re all dead and none of this will matter.

      2. You’re an IT guy. Many people believe this means your job is to answer their questions, no matter how dumb they are to you.

      3. Job security. If anything, you should be happy your company is hiring morons. That means they’ll never get rid of you because they need you to help the drooling imbeciles.

      1. Lackadaisical

        I have the opposite problem.

        Even if I know what is wrong with a program at work I ahve so few permissions I can’t do anything when the IT guys break everything.

        Also, doesn’t seem like it should be that hard to plug in the license server so I can do my work. Thanks.

      2. 1: Is not a comfort and only adds stress because it would serve to highlight how much time is being wasted.

        2: I’m talking about a supposed IT guy in my unit. He was hired to do some of the stuff I was, but can’t seem to muster basic computer literacy.

        3: I work for the state. They’d lay me off at the drop of a hat if an outsourcing contractor contributed enough to the governer’s campaign funds.

        1. Second comment RE: The Job Security Argument. I spent my first year with the state ripping out and redoing all the work someone else did because they were shit at it. I don’t relish a repeat of that experience.

        2. Derpetologist

          In that case, stoically endure until a solution presents itself.

          If nothing else, be happy for what you have: health, wealth, friends, and an office job.

          Some people are gong farmers.

          1. I know. I just need to vent. It would impede my chances of being promoted if I smacked him upside the head and called him an idiot.

      3. It’s not a company. He’s a tax leech.

        (I can say it because my taxes help pay his income. And I don’t even make $15/hr.)

        1. It’s a job. They pay me to provide services and expertise. I don’t set policy, I don’t ‘generate’ revenue, I didn’t even vote for the people who decided to rob you.

          1. I probably should have included a /sarcasm tag.

            Of course, Andrew Cuomo can’t price state workers out of the labor market like he can do those of us in the private sector.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          A valedictorian should be making more than that.

    4. Nephilium

      If you find out, let me know. My current method of dealing is job hunting.

    5. DenverJ

      So, stand behind him and watch over his shoulder for a couple of days. Every time he does something wrong, snack him in the back of the head.

      1. UnCivilServant on December 1, 2017 at 7:57 pm

        … It would impede my chances of being promoted if I smacked him upside the head and called him an idiot.

        I have my reasons for not doing that (aside from having my own work to attend to)

        1. Charlie Witherspoon

          If current trends are any indication you could accuse him of sexual harassment.

  14. Lackadaisical

    STEVE SMITH ONLY RAPE XL AND ABOVE…

    John=STEVE SMITH?

  15. Lackadaisical

    Whoever posted that cuck song is an edgelord.

    (suthen or ken?, not sure for some reason they blend together in my mind)

  16. KSuellington

    Presently enjoying an excellent Anderson Valley Winter Solstice, highly recommend if you enjoy seasonal beers. This one is about the best I have ever found. Super creamy and it doesn’t taste like it is a 6.9%. They are one of my top ten breweries, easily.

    https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/193/2081/

    1. I just laid waste to some Old Rasputin XX…double digit ABV, baby!

      1. KSuellington

        North Coast makes some damn fine product. Red Seal is one of me favorites.

        1. They had that on tap too. Quite a night.

  17. Timeloose

    Very OT. I just passed a fuel truck driver eating rice and fish with chopsticks while driving on the highway to Narita. I thought eating a Big Mac while driving was hard.

    1. I’m more favorably inclined towards self-driving cargo haulers all of a sudden…

    2. AlmightyJB

      I used to drive, roll a joint, smoke a cigarette, and drink a beer at the same time.

      1. Timeloose

        I had the one hand beer and smoke while driving down, but using chopsticks with the bowl on the steering wheel is impressive. He wasn’t waiting for stop lights to eat a spoonful of cereal either.

      2. Hyperion

        It really sucks when you drop your joint in your beer and need to take a sharp left while taking a bite out of your double cheeseburger, amirite?

        1. Timeloose

          Even worse when one of your empties gets stuck behind the break pedal and the firewall.

      3. KSuellington

        While flipping the Creedence cassette back to Side A.
        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jo11SqLmuGc

    3. Playa Manhattan

      In high school, I ate burritos and drank Mountain Dew at while driving stick. You just have to anticipate between bites.

  18. Nephilium

    Looks like Unibroue has added another beer to their profile for Trader Joe’s: Audaciter Abbey Blonde. I’ve got one chilling down, and will probably crack it over the weekend.

  19. AlmightyJB

    Give someone you love a Steve Smith stained shirt for Christmas.

  20. Rick C-137

    Hi glibs! I apologize for my absence but night shift is a real killer. I have been enjoying a return to semi lurker status, but I hope as life re keels itself I’ll be able to continue contributing from the derp mines.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Those hookers aren’t going to kill themselves.

      1. Rick C-137

        Shiftily glances around, throws tarp over the mysterious lump in the backseat

    2. DOOMco

      good to see ya man.

      1. Rick C-137

        I have been been active on the discord, but that’s more of an accessible thing at work

    3. You were absent? :-p

      1. straffinrun

        Who’s the new guy?

        1. Hyperion

          New guy?… TULPA, IT’S TULPA AGAIN, IT’S ALWAYS TULAP, FUCK YOU TULPA!

    4. Tundra

      Hi Rick!

      Didja hear? Everyone is a pervert now!

      1. DEG

        Now? I’ve always been a pervert.

        1. Hyperion

          I don’t know if it’s an original, but I met a girl when I was working at a shopping mall many moons ago and she said to me ‘I’m a total pervette’.

          1. juris imprudent

            Go on…

          2. MikeS

            And you ended up marrying her?

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          No, I keep telling ya, YOUR a CHICKEN!

          1. DEG

            No. I’m a pervert and a cock.

    5. Gordilocks

      Us lurkers are having a grand old time, aren’t we?

      1. Tundra

        Well, sure. Being perverts and all.

        1. Gordilocks

          BUSTED

          1. Tundra

            Everything good?

          2. Gordilocks

            Yeah man, working on a few things.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Not getting caught?

    1. Gordilocks

      Jesus Christ, put that shit on archive so we don’t give them any clicks. FFS

      1. Rick C-137

        I can’t do archive at work, or I totally would.

  21. Well I’ve made progress in my attempt at military fiction. I’ve got the ATOM guys on a field exercise with the Army as the OpForce. This is a long running traditional exercise that ATOM had never won (Platoon-level infantry engagement). Should I reveal to the reader this fact before or after the narrator and his team fail to beat the Army at their own game?

    1. DenverJ

      If they loose, then after. If they win then before to raise suspense.

      1. It’s the start of the book – they have to lose, to make events later more suspensful when dealing with real enemies.

        1. DenverJ

          Yeah I’m thinking tell the reader after

        2. Derpetologist

          Some things to think about as you write:

          Are the characters at this point of the story trainees or combat veterans?

          Does one side rig the game? (This happens in real life- see the case of Billy Mitchell and planes vs. ships)

          Are there officers in either side who favor ATOM? If so, is their rank higher or lower than the anti-ATOM officers?

          Who is in charge of ATOM? Someone with a lot of practical experience or someone fresh from the academy?

          Are the ATOM guys volunteers? If so, what were the criteria for acceptance?

          1. juris imprudent

            Does one side rig the game?

            Or more recently.

          2. dbleagle

            I forgot about MC. Thanks, now I can wake up screaming again. MC was a shit show from start to end and was scripted to the desired results at least a year in advance. The troops we sent to it were pissed off and the only reason they didn’t leave the service was because a stop loss was soon to follow.

          3. To answer the questions:

            Are the characters at this point of the story trainees or combat veterans?

            It’s the end of Basic, so trainees.

            Does one side rig the game? (This happens in real life- see the case of Billy Mitchell and planes vs. ships)

            No, not really.

            Are there officers in either side who favor ATOM? If so, is their rank higher or lower than the anti-ATOM officers?

            I’ve got no named characters above the rank of Colonel, but he’s not directly engaged in this. For the most part we’re dealing with the Sergeants.

            Who is in charge of ATOM? Someone with a lot of practical experience or someone fresh from the academy?

            The leader on site is one of the trainees. They know pretty little.

            Are the ATOM guys volunteers?

            Mostly (except the narrator)

            If so, what were the criteria for acceptance?

            Are you breathing? Well, not quite, but the line in the story is “ATOM didn’t exactly attract the best people. Most of its volunteers were geeks and xenophiles. The wash-out rate for failing to meet physical standards was downright embarassing. They tended either too fat or too skinny, and all were too weak.

          4. Derpetologist

            Ah, so it’s an underdog story. In that case, you could have them almost win the first exercise, but then lose on a technicality or because a usually competent person got cocky and screwed up. That gives them a reason to work hard so they can prove themselves.

            It could be that the initial leader is no good, but no one has the courage to challenge him/her, and that the one best qualified to lead prefers to stay out of the spotlight.

            Or perhaps when they discuss what happened, someone with a hidden talent is revealed that shows the way to winning the next game.

          5. They’re not going to re-fight the exercise, because the main story is after the narrator deploys and has to deal with aliens instead of the Army. The reason for the exercise is to establish that these are not elite combatants when they end up in real fights. I want to to be clear that these guys can quite readily lose.

          6. Watch Alien vs. Predator for inspiration. Follow up with Event Horizon. You’re welcome.

          7. Why would I do that?

          8. Nephilium

            Well, Event Horizon is good (especially if you’re a WH40K fan, think of it as the first Imperial ship to go through the warp). I don’t know why you would watch AvP though.

    1. Winston

      So Nick Gillespie?

  22. Playa Manhattan

    Stanford is embarrassing tonight. They’re very lucky it’s a close game so far.

    1. DOOMco

      They totally fumbled before that touchdown.

  23. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I like the merchandise

    BUT

    the logo would look better on a t-shirt without the circle.

    Just an observation.

    1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      Could I put in that I’d love to see merch of some of the alternate logos submitted? I don’t remember who designed these but I’ve had them saved on my phone for months. I want something with that squirrel on it, haha.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      So… you like the thong?

      1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

        I kind of thought about the STEVE SMITH thong, except I hate thongs. But that would be a hilarious item to have. Of all the STEVE SMITH brands items you could get…

  24. Charlie Witherspoon

    Has anyone had to deal with a landlord who did not clean out an apartment before the move-in date came about? I’m not trying to flatter you all but usually the opinions on here are fairly level headed and in some cases even useful and it would really help me out.

    1. Anything with keeping?

      1. Worth, not with.

        1. Charlie Witherspoon

          Unfortunately no.

    2. trshmnstr

      Assuming that the landlord isn’t tripping over themselves to apologize for the mistake, I’d make a big stink about it and get the fuck out of that contract. If the landlord can’t get their shit together for a less-than-horrible first impression, you have to assume that they’re not keeping up on maintenance, and that they’re going to be an absolute pain whenever you need anything from them. This may be a good thing for you, a chance to avoid a really shitty situation.

      1. Charlie Witherspoon

        The lease is only two months because I know the guy’s kid. The place would go for more if I didn’t have that connection and I want to resolve this as amicably as possible but it’s a broken refrigerator and garbage as well as a nasty bed that honestly my roommate and I really don’t want to physically touch. We could just clean it out ourselves and ignore the fact the place needs a double coat of paint (smoke damage looks like) but my Italian ancestry forces me to at least ask.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Is there a right to Deduct and Repair in your state?

          In CA, it falls under the implied warranty of habitability.

    3. DenverJ

      Document it. Take pictures. You should have been given a form to document the condition of the unit for deposit purposes.

      1. Charlie Witherspoon

        We took pictures. I will definitely look for that form in the future.

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      My advice is to seduce his wife and daughter. Then film you having a threesome with them. Afterwards, wait until he is alone and chloroform him. Bring him to a predetermined location where you will not be disturbed. Tie him to a chair in front of a webcam. Force him to watch the video before you slowly torture him by using an electric drill to drill into his hands, thighs and arms. Then use a blowtorch to cauterize his wounds before burning off his testicles. Then take a scalpel and slowly slice off pieces of his flesh until he dies from blood loss. Stream all of this over the dark web.

      1. trshmnstr

        Add in the part where you torture his family to death in front of them, and you have the perfect solution.

        BTW, I feel like I’ve seen this movie.

      2. Charlie Witherspoon

        I went to his family Thanksgiving because I know his son. They are wayyyyy too uncomfortably Christian for that.

        1. Charlie Witherspoon

          Also I’m about as seductive as a used tampon. Could complicate the plan.

          1. trshmnstr

            STEVE SMITH SHAVE BACK BEFORE SEDUCE HIKERS, AND BY SEDUCE MEAN, WELL, YOU KNOW

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Worked for Prince Charles.

          3. Get out of my head!!!

          4. Charlie Witherspoon

            I lack the prerequisite name recognition and title.

          5. Charlie Witherspoon

            That is one attractive street hooker. Hollywood is out of touch.

  25. Hyperion

    You know, here at Glibs, you can be the only person on earth to buy website related merchandise where no one else on the planet will have a fuck’s clue what they fuck you are talking about.

    OTOH, I will pay for one of these items or more to be shipped to Matt Welch.

    1. Tundra

      I would love a fitted black baseball cap with the white logo.

      Just sayin’

    2. RBS

      I want a Steve Smith coffee mug.

    3. KSuellington

      I am dissapoint in the lack of Glibs assless chaps.

      1. Tundra

        CHAPS ARE ALL ASSLESS!!!

        1. If they had asses, they’d be pants.

          1. Hyperion

            If pants were eggplants cabbage would be leather!

          2. KSuellington

            *pulls out pair of sequined assed chaps*

    4. Just Say’n

      I want a shirt that says “Don’t Worry the Jacket Will Save Us” from Bacon’s video.

      Either way, I’ll buy something

      1. Hyperion

        I’d like to see a SNP mug.

  26. Derpetologist

    The Wisdom Plaque

    In ancient India, the emperor Ashoka erected pillars throughout his empire.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pillars_of_Ashoka

    The pillars were inscribed with laws and bits of advice in several languages.

    I want to do something similar, but without the hassle of forging an empire. My idea is an aluminum plaque which I will pay building owners to post. near entrances. It will read as follows:

    ***
    WISDOM

    Remember that you will die.

    You don’t need to be rich to be happy.

    Good relations with friends and family will bring more happiness
    than achievement, money, or fame.

    A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

    There is no point in arguing about matters of taste.

    Say a little, and say it well.

    Don’t compare. There will always be people greater and lesser than you.

    Moderation in all things.

    Misfortune happens even to the wisest and best men.

    Live and let live.

    No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.

    Better alone than with bad company.

    Love all, trust a few, harm none.

    Forgive and forget.

    Live and let live.

    I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

    The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their proper names.

    It’s easier to change yourself than it is to change the world.

    War is hell. Only the dead have seen the end of war.

    The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

    Imagination is more important than knowledge.

    Money and power always find each other.

    You can’t get something for nothing.

    Life is short, art is long, experience is treacherous, judgement is difficult.
    ***

    A poster would be cheaper than a plaque, but a plaque is more durable and more likely to draw attention.

    Alternatively, I’d like to make t-shirts or bumper stickers with these slogans as well. I could translate the plaque and get it posted in other countries.

    Anyway, that’s my little idea to leave my mark on the world after I’m gone. I figure by keeping the message short, it is more likely that people will remember it.

    Initially, I thought about making a monument so it would be prominent and attract attention. Now I think it is better to distribute the message far and wide.

    I read through a few thousand proverbs and famous quotes from across history and picked the ones I thought were the most insightful.

    As a follow-up, I thought about a plaque just for math that would have the Pythagorean theorem with a diagram, Euler’s identity, E = mc^2, the speed of light, and the definitions of e, i, and pi. Probably would include the transitive property of identity as well.

    It’s not the only knowledge that matters. I don’t it’s possible to make a short list of that. But those are some of the more important things.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      You forgot “Life ain’t nothin but bitches and money.”

      1. Derpetologist

        On Halloween, life ain’t nothin’ but witches and mummies.

        [mic drop]

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          *nods sagely*

  27. DenverJ

    Reposted from last night, looking for advice:
    So, I wandered into Charles Schwab today to do things with an IRA. Found out that CS closed the account almost immediately after it was opened. I and my employer have both been contributions for a year, but it wasn’t being invested. Was told that I had been sent a letter. I never received a letter. Maybe the management company did, but I never did.
    Query: do I have a lawsuit against someone?

    1. Derpetologist

      Perhaps, but the cost of the lawsuit may be more than the money you lost.

      Instead of a lawsuit, I would go to the local paper or TV station. They love doing stories on evil corporations screwing people over.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      The maximum IRA contribution per year is 5.5k.

      Your lawsuit will cost more than that, successful or not.

      1. KSuellington

        Wouldn’t it be a small claims court case if it’s under 15k anyway? Those don’t cost much. Fifty bucks in court fees, etc?

        1. Ooh, DenverJ on Judge Judy.

          1. DenverJ

            Wood?

        2. Playa Manhattan

          There’s going to be a mandatory arbitration clause.

    3. Sure you can sue.

      Can you win? Beats me.

    4. westernsloper

      What does your employer say? They won’t take that kindly if they have been contributing.

  28. Chipwooder

    Oliver Darcy
    @oliverdarcy
    ABC News spokesperson tells me that “World News” will clarify that this should be president-elect Trump, not candidate Trump. (link: https://twitter.com/abc/status/936628560374071296) twitter.com/abc/status/936…
    This Tweet is unavailable.
    6:31 PM · Dec 1, 2017

    Whoopsie!

    1. Just Say’n

      Pretty big whoopsie. This is just going to end with a bunch of people charged with lying to the FBI while never proving any underlying crime.

      Swiss was smart not to link to anything in the afternoon links. He’s a better reporter than these journalists

      1. Chipwooder

        Brian Ross “scoops” are invariably bullshit. Not sure why he’s still employed.

        1. Principals, not principles.

    2. straffinrun

      That’s pathetic.

    3. RAHeinlein

      Great that they are now clarifying after every other news outlet used them as a source, and the DJIA dropped by over 300…

  29. straffinrun

    World Cup draw. Sad!

    1. Rhywun

      LOL – can you imagine Trump giving a shit about the World Cup?

      1. Tundra

        It’s some really good hockey. Of course he would give a shit.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Fabulous Hockey, Very Classy

    1. I thought Miyazaki was retired.

      1. straffinrun

        RTFU.

        1. straffinrun

          Lol. RTFA. 😉

        2. Ready To Fuck Uncle

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Miyazaki is overrated.

        I said it.

          1. straffinrun

            I’m tapping out. Arg.

          2. Tundra

            He doesn’t llnk properly?

          3. straffinrun

            The Crimson Pig(?). 紅のぶた. Great flick.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            Not saying he’s bad. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind was great. But he’s not the God of All Anime as some argue.

        1. kbolino

          Princess Mononoke: I saw it in high school, don’t really remember it.
          Spirited Away: I liked this one a lot.
          Howl’s Moving Castle: I felt like it was incomplete and overrated.
          Nausicaa: Very preachy, also overrated.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            You thought Nausicaä was preachy, but not Spirited Away?

          2. kbolino

            Maybe Miyazaki just got better at subtlety over the years, or maybe I forgot. I remember the grimy water spirit and the parents getting turned into pigs, but I feel like that loses out to the eco-apocalypse and walking nuclear bio-weapon on the preachiness scale.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            But a certain amount of preachiness is to be expected in the post-apoc genre, that’s kind of its whole point. But I found Spirited Away, like the water spirit you mention, was full of that maudlin mottainai we didn’t do this before whitey showed up shit I can’t stand about Miyazaki.

        2. straffinrun

          BTW, check out Osomatsu san if you can find it in English. My new fav anime.

        3. Pan Zagloba

          Mamoru Oshii is the One True Master.

  30. Yusef drives a Kia

    i just bought a STEVE SMITH Sticker to Confuse people, I think it will work.

  31. DOOMco

    That was a first down. his knee never went down.

  32. LJW

    I worry if I wear a STEVE SMITH shirt people will assume I’m making fun of former NFL wide receiver Steve Smith which will turn into you’re racist!

    1. OneOut

      And hope you never run into the real one.

  33. Mythical Libertarian Woman

    The top response to this is literally “muh roads.” People are so predictable.

    1. Rhywun

      There’s a reason I don’t tweeter.

      1. Tundra

        High IQ.

        1. MikeS

          An IQ

        2. westernsloper

          That explains why I had to reply. My third tweet and my eighth beer. The two may be related.

    2. Charlie Witherspoon

      For public companies revenue is defined as something that is earned. If money is paid without the service or product being rendered it is classified as “unearned revenue” which is a current liability. For government this is not the case. They just call it revenue when they take it. Just one of the little things that drive me nuts.

    3. kbolino

      This is a fun exchange:

      You’re delusional, government bureaucrats protect only their own interests.

      Riiight just like the 1000s upon 1000s of regular ole’ Americans working for the government are in a big conspiracy against you.

      I always love how we go from “people are self-interested, government employees are no exception” to “OMG CONSPIRACY THEORIST” so quickly.

      1. kbolino

        Ah, I see some delusion about “single-payer is cheaper” popped up in there, too. Man, that is a fine derp-mine.

    4. NOT a Naked Intruder

      The fucker actually has the nerve to call himself a “freedom lover” while he doubled down on the roads argument.

  34. Tundra

    Watching season 1 of Magnum PI with the Spawn.

    Erin Gray was ridiculously good looking.

    1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      I like the one where Tom Selleck is a better Indiana Jones than Harrison Ford.

        1. DEG

          Excellent.

          Yes, Erin Gray is hot.

        2. commodious spittoon

          Okay, Terms of Enrampagement is much funnier for seeing this.

          1. Viking1865

            Did you see Regis this morning?

  35. Derpetologist

    from my favorite grumpy Vietnam vet:

    The Navajo code talk in WW II was a childishly easy code to break

    My email to him:

    ***
    Mr. Reed

    You have greatly underestimated the difficulty of learning a foreign language. I say this as a recent graduate of the Arabic course at the Defense Language Institute.
    The course lasts 64 weeks and has a wash-out rate of 50%. Those numbers are similar for the Korean, Chinese, and Pashto courses. The State Dept says it takes about 2,000 hours of study for a typical person to learn those languages well enough to have a conversation, understand a news broadcast, or read a newspaper. I agree with those numbers.

    Suppose the Japanese had decided to train Navajo linguists as soon as they identified the language. First they would have to recruit Navajo speakers and prepare a course. That would take several months to a year at a minimum. Then they would have to identify and train suitable Japanese soldiers. That would take another year at least.

    So from the moment they knew it was Navajo to the time they have their first bunch of linguists, 2 years would have passed. It was almost 1942 when the war started. They wouldn’t have had any linguists until 1944. And those linguists would be responsible for screening huge volumes of traffic.

    It can be very hard to decipher radio broadcasts in a foreign language because of static, distortion, code words, slang, and dialects. You wrote that you studied Vietnamese and Russian. How well did you learn them? In order to provide useful military intelligence, you need to be able to understand things like “1st battalion reports low fuel; 2 tanks have been disabled by mines placed on the main road”.
    It takes time to learn that. It’s not enough to know how to say “Hello, my name is John. I am from America. How are you?”

    The gist of your argument is that the Navajo code was bad because it was simple and the machine-based codes like Enigma were good because they were complex.

    To that I say: so what? Is Chinese better because its writing system is more complex than English?

    A code that comes from a machine can be broken by a machine, which is exactly what happened to the Enigma code and a few Allied codes. US Army Col Bonner Fellers unwittingly fed the Germans very detailed information because the Germans broke the State Dept Black Code he was using. That code used the SIGABA code machine. If they had used the Navajo code, it is likely the information would have remained secure.

    Americans tend to worship technology because that is what we are good at it. However, good technology cannot compensate for crummy language skills. There is no machine that can translate as well as a human can.

    I appreciate your bullshit-free views on various subjects. On this matter, I think you are mistaken.

    [Derpy’s rank, name, unit]
    ***

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Well said.

    2. Rhywun

      Am I reading the guy’s article wrong or does learning Navajo have nothing to do with it? If it was just a substitution cipher (and I didn’t know that), it would be easy to break no matter what language the substitutions were spoken in, with frequency analysis etc.

      1. DenverJ

        Well, any translation is basically substituting one or more words for another. But then there are things like sentence structure, verb tenses, etc.
        This guy seems to be saying that once you realize that a certain Navajo word or phrase, say “oh so mio” means something, say “tank”, then every time you hear “oh so mio” you just scribble “tank” on the paper and Viola! you’ve broken the code. Derp is pointing out the error in this thinking.

        1. Rhywun

          But then there are things like sentence structure, verb tenses, etc.

          I’m not seeing mention of that in the code.

          I guess what I’m asking is were they actually speaking Navajo with all its idioms and such, or just substituting one word or phrase at a time in English order?

          But HM’s point below about speed seems relevant, and probably renders my question moot.

          /not any kind of expert in this stuff

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            I guess what I’m asking is were they actually speaking Navajo with all its idioms and such, or just substituting one word or phrase at a time in English order?

            Neither. They were spelling out English words using a modified phonetic alphabet in which the terms were translated into Navajo. For example, A was translated as “apple”, then translated into whatever the Navajo word was for apple, and so on. Certain words and phrases that would take too long to spell or were just common were expressed through metaphor…like a bomber being referred to by the Navajo word for eagle or something.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Also, I shit you not, but this was the official cover of the code book.
            ' /></p>
</div>
				
				<div class=

          3. Rhywun

            Heap LOL

          4. *Me narrow gaze*

          5. Derpetologist

            The dictionary only lists military terms. It does not list Navajo grammar or basic vocabulary because the Navajo speakers knew that already. The messages were in spoken Navajo, with all the strange and difficult rules it has.

            The code talkers were not looking up words one at time in a dictionary and then speaking. They were speaking naturally except they were talking about military situations with a special vocabulary.

            Think of it this way: could you understand a Chinese radio broadcast if I gave you a Chinese dictionary with phonetic spellings?

            Of course not.

          6. Heroic Mulatto

            Think of it this way: could you understand a Chinese radio broadcast if I gave you a Chinese dictionary with phonetic spellings?

            Of course not.
            Someone should tell Derp that John Searle is spoofing his account.

          7. Heroic Mulatto

            The dictionary only lists military terms. It does not list Navajo grammar or basic vocabulary because the Navajo speakers knew that already. The messages were in spoken Navajo, with all the strange and difficult rules it has.

            Yes, and no. In that the way you communicate over the radio in English isn’t normal spoken English syntax. In any form of radiotelephony communication, like aviation English, etc. there are strict communication protocols.

          8. DenverJ

            I get it. So if you wanted to say “and” you would use the Navajo words for “Apple nut bear”

          9. Heroic Mulatto

            Only if “and” were your callsign.

          10. DenverJ

            You know, I’m not sure about that either. But it appears from my extensive 5 minutes of study using Wikipedia, that although there were simple substitutions, like the Navajo word for “shark” being used to refer to a destroyer, the code talkers were, indeed, talking in Navajo, so that sentence structure, etc, was important.
            However, speed does seems to be what impressed the military.

          11. DenverJ

            Or… I could have just let HM and Derp tell us instead of guessing…

          12. Derpetologist

            If the code was just a word-for-word translation of English into Navajo with English grammar and word order, there would be no need to recruit actual Navajo speakers.

            And even if they were using a simplified, constructed language, it takes a lot of time to learn to speak one of those.

            Natural languages are excellent codes exactly because they are difficult to learn, but allow for rapid communication.

          13. Number.6

            And for a conflict that is unlikely to last more than a few years, the early adopter advantage is all you need for success. If the opposition can’t catch up with you for 10 years and the conflict will be resolved in 5, your advantage remains, if degraded.

            And you’re not locked into that solution either, because you can just cut over to a different ‘cipher’ and re-establish your early-adopter advantage in parallel with the original ‘cipher’.

          14. Heroic Mulatto

            I meant English terms that had to be English in order to be understood, like the name of a ship, were spelled out using the phonetic alphabet. They weren’t translated into the Navajo equivalents.

          15. DenverJ

            “Anne” would be the Navajo words for “ant nut nut elk” or “Wol-la-chee Nesh-chee Nesh-chee Dzeh”

          16. Heroic Mulatto

            From what I understand, yes.

          17. Bob

            You’re right the guy is pointing out there’s no necessity to know the language at all. The code could have been a bunch of sounds someone made up in their basement one morning and it would have remained just as “unbreakable” since nobody speaks it.

          18. Derpetologist

            A functional language requires about 6,000 words in addition to the grammar. Then you have to train people so they can speak as naturally as they speak their first language, which is even harder than the first step.

            Given that, it is much easier to just use a language that already exists because there will be people who already know it.

            If learning languages was easy, everyone would speak several. Here is the current breakdown:

            ***
            Monolingual (speaking only one language) – 40%,. Bilingual (ability to speak two languages) – 43%,. Trilingual (speaking three languages fluently) – 13%,. Multilingual( speaking four languages) – 3%
            ***

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        What Reed is forgetting is that the main purpose of Navajo code wasn’t unbreakability as much as being able to send coded messages on the battlefield quickly. Frequency hopping radios wouldn’t become general issue until after WW2. Machine translation was too slow to be effective in a battlefield context.

        Reed is (code) talking out of his ass.

        1. Number.6

          Same reason that SSH/SSL keys aren’t 2048000-bit.

        2. Bob

          He specifically addressed this point, so he didn’t forget it.

      3. DenverJ

        Ok re threading:
        So the guy was both right and wrong: the code part is very simplistic: both calling a destroyer a shark and using Navajo words for a version of Alpha Bravo Charlie is just a substitution cypher, but wrong because the rest of the message was in a language very very people spoke (30 at the beginning of the war), and because the alpha betta Charlie would sounds like gibberish even to someone who knew the language.

        1. Derpetologist

          Yes. Here’s a little bit about Navajo grammar:

          ***
          Navajo is a “verb-heavy” language — it has a great preponderance of verbs but relatively few nouns. In addition to verbs and nouns, Navajo has other elements such as pronouns, clitics of various functions, demonstratives, numerals, postpositions, adverbs, and conjunctions, among others. Harry Hoijer grouped all of the above into a word-class he called particles (i.e., Navajo would then have verbs, nouns, and particles). Navajo has no separate words that correspond to the adjectives in English grammar: verbs provide the adjectival functionality.
          ***

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navajo_grammar

          Even with the best learning aids, it would take thousands of hours of training for someone to learn it as a second-language. Someone who spoke a closely related language such as Apache might be able to learn in a few hundred hours.

          Hello (General greeting) Yá’át’ééh

          See all those markings on top? Every vowel in Navajo has a tone. Speakers of atonal languages have great difficulty in distinguishing them.

          The tones are omitted in the code book because the Navajo don’t need them. It is the same reason why vowel markings are usually omitted in Arabic.

        2. Bob

          But the language doesn’t not matter. Random sounds and symbols can be coded and nobody speaks them, let alone 30 people. And once the “dictionary is printed” the key to the code exceeds 30 people. Even speaking Navajo wouldn’t have been very useful because understanding Navajo was not required for understanding the code. If it was necessary that would be a useful code.

          1. Derpetologist

            Could you understand a Chinese radio broadcast if I gave you a phonetic Chinese dictionary, listening exercises, and a few weeks to practice?

            The code was not intelligible to someone who did not know Navajo. It wasn’t even intelligible to someone who did know Navajo but not the rules of the code. That’s why they recruited Navajo and gave them special training.

            Do you honestly think anyone could read that code book and immediately understand everything being said?

    3. commodious spittoon

      [Derpy’s rank, name, unit]

      Man, the army is getting lazy. They even let you use your handle?

      That said, are you worried at all about your words getting traced back to this site? It’s something I think of and I’m nothing to nobody.

      1. Derpetologist

        I haven’t broken any rules that I’m aware of. I know guys who gripe about the military on Facebook.

      2. Man, I reported on events from Afghanistan and Iraq – as they happened. As long as you don’t give away OPSEC things, you are OK….for now.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I meant more so this site. I wouldn’t want to have to explain it to anyone.

          1. westernsloper

            Seriously? There is a lot more shifty stuff in my browser history than here. If that is not your case you are not even trying.

          2. commodious spittoon

            But your work browser?

          3. westernsloper

            I don’t have a work browser. If you are worried about that throw in a few visits to bestiality and smack some thicc sites to throw them off the scent that you might be a libertarian.

          4. Rick C-137

            This is the craziest my work browser gets.

          5. Rick C-137

            @WS, I don’t think that’s how that works

          6. Number.6

            This? It’s a Family Friendly Site. NO WAY could there be problems.

          7. Derpetologist

            The higher ups are more concerned about people posting embarrassing pics and video social media. They can’t monitor everything said online for the same reason they can’t monitor everything said in meatspace.

            Let me put this in perspective with a concrete example. Right now, there is a guy here who is under 24-hr guard because he keeps drinking hand sanitizer. Believe me, they have bigger fish to fry as far as discipline goes.

            The only person I know who got in trouble for something they posted online got in trouble because she posted pictures of herself breaking several rules simultaneously. And the only reason command found out was because she was a jerk and some other female soldiers tattled on her.

            During the last xmas break, my unit commander gave a briefing that was basically: we’re not stupid, we know you’re going to drink even though technically you’re not allowed to. Don’t do dumb shit.

            There were no incidents.

          8. commodious spittoon

            …hand sanitizer. Fucking Christ.

        2. Number.6

          Oh, those precious freedoms you yanks enjoy.

          The OSA is a very real and very stringently applied.

          1. DenverJ

            The Optical Society of America?

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Official Secrets Act.

            Doesn’t apply to Hillary.

          3. Derpetologist

            Many military intelligence service members have opinions about her. You can probably guess what they are.

            Many people in the military/intelligence community made mistakes far less severe and received much harsher punishments.

    4. commodious spittoon
      1. dbleagle

        Translations and not mention this?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAQJHHf3i1o

  36. westernsloper

    STEVE SMITH says relax? Palease. It should be, STEVE SMITH wants you to meet his friend BEN DOVER.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Yeah. And THEN relax.

  37. Playa Manhattan

    That’s good defense.

  38. DOOMco

    Trojans hold on with a fantastic goal line stand.
    I have had one too many torpedoes. or maybe 3.

    1. DOOMco

      Stanford had a few crazy passes deep there at the end to keep it interesting, but fucked up the on side kick.
      they then forced USC to go for it on 4th. Well done.
      Now we will see if they can make it into the playoffs.

    2. straffinrun

      Trojans hold on?

      1. westernsloper

        Depends on what you are putting them on and or in.

        1. straffinrun

          Gotta love they used real water fowl in that scene.

          1. DOOMco

            PETA must hate them.
            “kinigits” makes me laugh every time.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      If only somebody had mentioned good defense

      1. DOOMco

        You did beat me to it by a good margin.
        I still don’t like the refs. Stanford had some fantastic deep plays though.

  39. straffinrun

    Predictions for next week?

    1. westernsloper

      It will be colder than last week here. Conyers resigns due to health reasons. Tyllerson is fired and the douche who got him fired, Kushner, gets another grilling from Mueller eventually leading to his indictment for shady real estate deals ten years ago.

      1. DenverJ

        Sounds about right. You forgot “DenverJ will almost certainly be drunk more nights than not” and “Bill Clinton pulls a total Bruce Jenner and announces his new name is Billie.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I’ll probably have rotisserie chicken.

  40. Juvenile Bluster

    And now that we’re through the irrelevant Pac-12 title game, tomorrow we get what are essentially the playoff quarterfinals (except TCU ain’t getting in).

    ACC/SEC winners are definitely in. Reasonably sure the B1G winner is in. Oklahoma’s in if they beat TCU, Alabama’s in if TCU wins.

    1. robc

      I hope if TCU and OSU win, the committee says fuck it, ucf is in.

  41. Playa Manhattan

    They just dropped the name of the NSA employee who was charged and pled guilty to bringing a bunch of classified material home and putting it on his laptop, which the Russians later hacked.
    I’m not linking to the New York Times, but, let’s see what we have here:
    https://securelist.com/investigation-report-for-the-september-2014-equation-malware-detection-incident-in-the-us/83210/

    That’s right. This fucking computer genius was hacked because he installed a pirated copy of MS Office. And because he knew it was pirated, he disabled his AV protection to use the activation crack. This guy deserves 20 years for being an idiot.

    Tomorrow on Vox: “NSA Employees can’t afford Microsoft Office!!!”

    1. Derpetologist

      Much like car accidents, the faulty component is usually the human.

      Military intelligence exists because most people are terrible at keeping secrets.

    2. Even though there are massively discounted versions for federal employees and most large contractor companies offer similar deals.

  42. Hyperion

    Here I come again

    The first part of this song is just incredible, it keeps coming up in my dreams, weird. It took me about 4 hours this afternoon to find it.

    1. Thanks for reminding me how much I hate power ballads, uffda.

    1. Rick C-137

      What, you don’t like Lindsey Stirling?

    2. commodious spittoon

      All I’m getting from Derp is that apparently some people are not as affected by alcohol as the rest of us are.

  43. http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/454298/senate-tax-bill-passes

    I think this will be a good thing – at least if we can get this in the system, we can start to work on cutting spending separately. Trying to cram too much stuff into a single bill is the stupid thing to do. I like the Dems complaining about stuff at the last second. I read a detailed article about the ANWR inclusion at NR yesterday and Dems were crying about it last night.

  44. Juvenile Bluster

    So the GOP passed the new tax bill yesterday, dooming the Republic forever.

    Also, Democrats have now become budget hawks and are complaining about the amount this is going to add to the national debt (SLD: Fuck you, cut spending)