ZARDOZ’S SUNDAY EVENING LINKS

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ SEES THE BRUTAL HOLIDAY OF CHRISTMAS IS APPROACHING ONCE AGAIN. ZARDOZ WOULD ASK HIS CHOSEN ONES FOR SUGGESTIONS FOR GIFTS, FOR THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. SINCE THEY HAVE ALREADY RECEIVED THE GIFT OF THE GUN, ZARDOZ IS A BIT STUMPED.

NO REGIFTING THESE!

ZARDOZ WOULD LET THEM HAVE SOME GRAIN, BUT ALL OF IT IS RESERVED FOR THE VORTEX.

We are trying SP’s fruitcake recipe!

IN RETURN FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE, ZARDOZ WILL GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK. GO FORTH AND COMMENT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • ZARDOZ SEES LITTLE PROBLEM WITH THIS. THEIR CONDITIONS ARE STILL BETTER THAN THE GRAIN SLAVES OF THE VORTEX.
  • ZARDOZ BELIEVES ANY “GESTURES TO BREAK PEACE IMPASSE” WOULD INVOLVE A SINGLE FINGER FROM THE BRUTALS INVOLVED.
  • ZARDOZ KNOWS HIS CHOSEN ONES CANNOT RESIST CLICKING A LINK INVOLVING THE BRUTAL MIA KHALIFA…ESPECIALLY WHEN IT INVOLVES HER “TAKING A POUNDING“. JUST DO YOU WELL TO REMEMBER THE PENIS IS EVIL!
  • ZARDOZ IS CONFUSED – HE THOUGHT THE BRUTALS HAD TO REFER TO THIS AS “ICE OF COLOR“? ALSO, DID NOT GLOBAL WARMING END SNOW IN THE BRUTAL UNITED KINGDOM SOME YEARS BACK?

Comments

333 responses to “ZARDOZ’S SUNDAY EVENING LINKS”

  1. Each nipple has 800 nerve endings, whereas the penis has 4,000 and the clitoris has 8,000.

    http://archive.is/FxXPD

    1, 2, 5, 6, 11, 15, 23, 28, 34… the rest.

      1. Count Potato

        Not into Pulp Fiction cosplay?

          1. Count Potato

            Maybe you just need the right mood music.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGvMjgLXBi0

          2. Nephilium

            Count Potato, I was expecting Dick Dale there…

        1. Bobarian LMD

          She should have a needle stuck in her boob.

          -1 for not going in fully

      2. DEG

        Welcome to the Cult of the Orgy. I’ll disqualify #37 for the stupid bull-ring piercing.

        #21 is Lindsey Pelas. I thought I recognized #33 but I was wrong; hier are more photos of her.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      ZARDOZ HAS RAISED HIS [redacted] FROM BRUTALITY AND GIVES HIS (((CHOSEN))) PORNHOUND THE GIFT OF THE ONE!

    2. MikeS

      That #1 GIF is badass! Who is responsible for that little bit of awesome?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Arthur Frayn?

        1. MikeS

          I really need to watch that movie.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Just read the Review

          2. MikeS

            I did read your review and couple others. It sounds like one of those things you have to see for yourself.

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            It really is fun to watch at least once

          4. Have a couple of drinks before watching, and a couple more during.

          5. MikeS

            Drinks before AND during? Well, if I must, I must. I may even have a couple after, just because.

      2. The Hyperbole gave us the gift of the gif, this morning!

    3. Gordilocks

      9,11,16

    4. AlmightyJB

      IMHO, that was the best batch of boobs to date.

      1. No uncanny valley, no ink, no gratuitously oversized glutes, I’d have to agree.

    5. Sean

      Love the new gif

    6. Chafed

      Best first GIF ever.

      1. It is superb, but some prefer this one:

        1. Not Adahn

          *is one of the ones who prefer that one*

        2. MikeS

          MikeS = Some

          Every time I see that one, I have to watch it through about 5 times.

          1. ZARDOZ

            Only 5?

            *18….19….20…*

          2. trshmnstr

            If ZARDOZ isn’t careful, there are going to be some half-rock, half-jigglebutt brutals running around infesting the world.

          3. Sigh…You try and help out *shakes head* Fine here, (NSFW) hope you degenerates appreciate it (NSFW) Is that better ya perverts?

          4. MikeS

            Sex sells, man.

            That said, damn good job with the ZARDOZ gif.

        3. DEG

          I like that one better, but it cements my decision to only read glibertarians when I’m not in the office.

          1. trshmnstr

            This^^

            The killjoy in me says I liked it better when the NSFW stuff was hidden behind a link.

          2. Rhywun

            If you know some HTML you can use the Stylish extension to hide stuff.
            I do that to hide all images on TOS at work. Glibs is blocked so no worries there.

          3. trshmnstr

            It’d be easy enough to incorporate into Monocle, but I use mobile to read at work, so it wouldn’t work for that situation.

          4. Rhywun

            Oh right you’re monocle.

            I can’t fucking stand typing on my phone so I don’t bother browsing.

        4. Chafed

          That is a fantastic gift Swiss. But I have to give the edge to all mighty ZARDOZ.

    7. Not Adahn

      #25 needs some topical cream

    8. trshmnstr

      1, 2, 11, 33

      Much better than this morning!

    9. egould310

      1.

  2. Gustave Lytton

    ZARDOZ can give the gift of accessories…

    1. Like…cuff links?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        As long as they’re ivory. Only a New Orleans pimps would wear pearl cuff links.

    2. DOOMco

      from silencerCo?

    3. Drake

      I’m giving the gift of gun accessories. A universal magazine loader really makes eliminating brutal less of a hassle. A cleaning kit for your chosen weapon and snap caps for practicing are also great gifts for brutals.

  3. robc

    suck it liverpool fans.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      That penalty call was bullshit.

      1. robc

        Everton has 2 PKs at Anfield in the last 80 years. THAT is bullshit.

      2. Rhywun

        I’m wondering WTF video review is for if they’re not going to use it.

        1. SP

          I wish the NFL refs would stop using it and seeing a completely different rewind than anyone else does.

          1. Rhywun

            It’s not working very well for soccer because many of the calls are so subjective (“Did that tap on his shoulder really knock him down?”). It works great in sports like Aussie Rules and tennis where the rules are a lot more objective.

  4. Gordilocks

    ZARDOZ, I beg forgiveness for being late for your links earlier in the week.

    You made mention of being a fan of TEH KITTIES.

    What make you of this BRUTAL? Would you spare him of cleansing?

    1. ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN TARDY ONE….FOR ZARDOZ, THERE IS ONLY ONE KITTY…MR. WHISKERS, WHO IS A GOOD KITTY! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  5. Nephilium

    So… as this will probably need to await moderation, here are some of the more unique items I found to gift:

    Spice subscription – Comes quarterly with spices and recipe suggestions. The recipient fills out a questionnaire when they redeem the gift code for preferences.

    Cocktail subscription – Comes monthly with everything (except glassware) to make 4 cocktails a month. The downside is you need someone over 21 to sign for the packages, and they charge $12 a month shipping.

    Crafted Mead Club – This is a nice one for me because I can just drive down and pick up the items instead of needing to pay for shipment. I signed up for the Exploration level for the girlfriend this year. While they do make a lot of sweet meads, they also have dry and semi-dries as well. It also allows for early access to special releases.

    1. Tulip

      Those are awesome!

    2. Sean

      4 cocktails. A month. GTFO.

      1. egould310

        I get it. Mixology date night. Special event. What’s in the box? These specialty bitters are sooo good. Another cocktail!

        Banging.

        See you next month.

      2. Nephilium

        I was thinking of it for my sister and brother in law, they have two kids with them still, so they can’t exactly drink like I do. They’re also not usually adventurous when it comes to drinks, and the one thing I liked the idea of in that box is that they managed to get mini bottles of things that usually don’t come in small bottles, as well as small samples of some of the harder to acquire bitters and such. Unfortunately, with shipping, it pushed it to about $13 a drink, which is above what you would spend even going to a nice bar around here.

        1. SP

          But still, awesome find!

          1. Nephilium

            My sister requested consumable items for Christmas this year. I wound up getting them a subscription to the spice one (the cocktail one just went above what I had budgeted for them with shipping), as well as a couple of other items. But the cocktail one was interesting enough to me that I thought some of the other resident drinkers here may appreciate the concept.

          2. Sean

            The concept is good. It was the quantity i commented on. Thank you for sharing.

          3. Nephilium

            No worries at all man. Realize that I’ve got over a dozen bottles of whiskey in my basement (and then a half dozen bottles of whisky), so I understand questioning the quantity.

      3. Rhywun

        Right?

    3. DEG

      Intriguing, thanks!

  6. Gordilocks

    Earlier this year she was allegedly thrown out of a baseball game for punching a fan who was trying to get a selfie with her as the LA Dodgers took on Chicago Cubs.

    The baseball fan shoved the phone in Khalifa’s face and attempted to get a photo without her permission. And she responded by allegedly smacking him in the jaw.

    This Khalifa seems inept at cleansing, and needs the gift of DIFFERENT GUNS.

    1. Gordilocks

      As I am inept at formatting. Tabarnak.

      1. John Titor

        Don’t use our secret language around the American normies.

        1. Not Adahn

          Lookit the Ontari-o pretending to be a Quebecker.

          1. John Titor

            Eastern Ontario’s got plenty o French.

  7. Gordilocks

    ZARDOZ,

    A gift suggestion for limiting the EVIL OF THE PENIS.

      1. Gordilocks

        *applies bleach to eyes, thanks the lord for wife already being pregnant*

      2. MikeS

        “Stay woke & ready to change the world. You never know when an important opportunity will arise.”

      3. Gustave Lytton

        Glad I went with this for the new year.

        1. egould310

          Waitresses in the sky… https://youtu.be/pMRUszqMVM8

          1. Tundra

            Thank you. Came out my senior year and I maintain they named the album after me.

          2. MikeS

            I believe it.

            Did you get to see them live very often?

          3. Tundra

            Yes, I did and they sucked A LOT! But when they were on, they were amazing.

            Still, though, they remain in my top five.

          4. egould310

            ???

          5. Nephilium

            So there’s a local brewer that I know socially, he started at Buckeye brewing, and moved on to the Butcher and the Brewer (he has since moved on to Saucy Brew Works). I maintain that one of his first beers at the Butcher and Brewer was named due to my girlfriend (who is not a beer person at all). One of the first times I took her up to the Buckeye Beer Engine, she looked over the tap list, and finally decided on a beer she wanted to try. She steps up to the bar, and in a confident voice says, “I’d like the Framboyzee.” At this point, most of us laugh, and I quietly correct her. The brewer was there that night, and one of the first beers brewed at the Butcher and Brewer was this.

          6. Tundra

            Yeah, your story is much more likely than mine! 😉

          7. Nephilium

            Even if it’s not true, she now likes the brewer just for this story. It means that I can convince her to drive us there, so I can partake of his delicious beers. Saucy is the one that did the Fauxbia that MikeS and Mexican Sharpshooter received. He did an Albino Stout at Butcher and Brewer that was my niece’s favorite beer. I had to explain to her that the recipes stayed with the brewery when a brewer leaves, and she could still get it.

          8. egould310

            Ohmygod its across the street from the Greenhouse Tavern. https://yelp.to/qTKq/CtEag8aeMI
            One of the best meals of my life was here. Order the pig’s head.

          9. Nephilium

            egould310: The girlfriend refuses to even entertain the idea of ordering the pig’s head at the Greenhouse. She’s a bit upset that one of the chef’s other restaurants (Noodlecat) went from a sit down location around the corner from the Greenhouse to a fast casual place out in Crocker Park. But the Greenhouse is usually great for a pint or four on St. Patrick’s Day.

          10. egould310

            Neph, baby. You gotta take charge of that situation. Eat the goddam pig face!!

            And now that I’m looking at yelp listing for Butcher and Brewer, I remember I went there (so wife could use the bathroom). Had a beer. It was good. Watched a little Thursday night football, and walked over to Greenhouse for our reservation.

          11. egould310

            Here’s something from right now! 5 drunk Scots continue to play alt rock https://youtu.be/78-HmkDvCSE

      1. Tulip

        I do sometimes wonder at the lack of scratches, though.

      2. Rhywun

        Me-wow!

  8. Trials and Trippelations

    Perhaps Zardoz would apperciate a gun themed board game like Bang!

    Or Steve Smith issued Get Out of Rape Free Card. It is unknown if Steve Smith honors such a card

    1. leonadasiv

      I was thinking: STEVE SMITH gets out of every rape free.

  9. commodious spittoon

    No Zardoz on Hulu, but they have the new Independence Day movie. I have heard not one thing about this movie, which bodes okay, I guess. I mean, I usually hear if a movie is godawful, or if it’s the greatest ever, so if it didn’t make a splash I expect it was solid summer schlock.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m not going to tell you to torrent the Movie,

      1. commodious spittoon

        I need a VPN. Comcast threatened to cut us off forever the last time I did it. I guess it’s not 2007 anymore 🙁

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I got that from them once, unnerving, I’m on Frontier til the end of the Year, fuck them,
          too bad there isn’t an easy peer to peer transfer service we could use,
          /sarc

        2. Rhywun

          Wow, really? A… friend of mine dropped that habit after he came to the attention of the Feds in the Woodchipper Incident. Having no idea WTF was going on at the beginning, he thought it would be better that way.

          1. commodious spittoon

            It was bizarre. The shit I downloaded was a web series from 2008. It never saw broadcast TV. I don’t think you can find it anywhere online. I didn’t think anyone had rights to it. Apparently, Fox disagreed.

          2. Rhywun

            They’re probably just looking at IP addresses not content. I’m sure anyone torrenting anything got the same message. Still BS though.

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            Comcast knew exactly What I was downloading and when, that’s when I got worried and stopped

          4. Rhywun

            Comcast knew exactly What I was downloading

            Hm… I’m not an expert on networking stuff but that doesn’t seem possible. It’s just ones and zeros while you’re downloading – you can’t know what it is until you assemble the pieces together and open it.

          5. J. Frank Parnell

            What happens is, Fox (or whoever) starts downloading/seeding the torrent, then gathers a list of the peer IPs and sends a nastygram to the ISPs.

          6. Rhywun

            I’m not devious enough to think of that.

          7. Yusef drives a Kia

            The person I know is somewhat frugal regarding Torrents, the old “don’t get cocky” thing, but that needed watching, risk/reward?

    2. John Titor

      It’s terrible, I could only watch the first hour.

  10. Yusef drives a Kia

    Will ZardoZ be pleased with the Mk B61 Nuclear Warhead? Efficient cleaning of the Brutals!
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/B83_nuclear_bomb_trainer.jpg

  11. Endless Mike

    Has someone posted this already? I thought some Dave Weigel news would be funny.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/12/09/washington-post-reporter-apologizes-for-bad-tweet-after-trump-calls-him-out.html

    1. robc

      He should be fired, but not for that.

      1. Rhywun

        I’d fire him for tarnishing my “brand” – but WaPo has no shame so I can understand if he keeps his job.

    2. RBS

      I pick Weigel in #metoo pool…

      1. Endless Mike

        Accuser or accused?

        1. C. Anacreon

          It would be funny to totally troll PB on TOS about this and see what the response is. He’s never actually posted that he isn’t Weigel, although it was really only that Insane Yomomma guy who religiously believed they were one and the same.

          1. Rhywun

            I’ve seen him deny it a couple times.

          2. robc

            I was about 60/40 in favor.

  12. Juvenile Bluster

    G-d, why do you hate the Eagles? We never get anything nice. You finally give us a really good quarterback now this happens.

    I’m going to go cry for a while.

    1. robc

      G-d, why do you hate the Eagles?

      They waited too long to add Joe Walsh.

      1. Drake

        And treated Don Felder like shit after he wrote all their famous riffs.

    2. I know how you feel.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      The pain continues with the Eagles.

    4. MikeS

      That sucks. Not an Eagles fan but I am rooting for the North Dakota boy. Have they said yet how bad they think it is?

      1. Tundra

        Bad day for the good guys.

        1. MikeS

          Vikes had a very Vikes-like loss today. Hopefully they got it out of their system now.

          1. C. Anacreon

            Usually when they lose one like this, they don’t win again the rest of the season.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        All we know is the sideline reporter said that Eagles employees were walking out of the training room shaking their heads

      3. Rufus the Monocled

        No. Just that it’s a knee injury. Hopefully it’s just a sprain. But the way he got hit I hope it’s not worse.

        Eagles showed damn balls. I told my buddy Foles had to step in and just manage the game by getting FGs and it was up to the defense to rise to the occasion and they bloody did.

        1. creech

          Fly, Eagles,fly!

    5. commodious spittoon

      God is Jeff Bridges and the Eagles are the Eagles and that cabbie is your offensive line, or something.

    6. DOOMco

      He was walking on it from what I saw, hopefully it isn’t serious and he’s back next week.

    7. Rhywun

      Bills win!

    8. E-gulls back in the lead. 😮

    9. And Seattle continues to show that top to bottom it’s a classless organization.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        What did they do?

        1. Michael Bennett rolled on a OL’s legs when the Jaguars were in the victory formation.

          Sheldon Richardson threw a punch and got ejected. Quinton Jefferson tried to go Eric Cantona.

          1. F. Stupidity Jr.

            But the left has assured us that Michael Bennett is a great guy!

      2. MikeS

        This sentence points a giant foam finger at the reason for that:

        Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll was called for unsportsmanlike conduct for running on field after the play.

        1. Yeah, he’s been classless going back at least to USC, if not long before.

          1. trshmnstr

            Yup, I was gonna post the same thing.

      3. mexican sharpshooter

        I can’t stand their fanbase (est. 2012), or Pete Carroll. The fact that their team is made up of individual pieces of shit just intensifies the sentiment,

        1. The Last American Hero

          Apparently you’re too young to remember the time they played a Super Bowl in Detroit. Ticket sales have been great since they hired Holmgren. But whatevs.

        2. dbleagle

          God spoke to Pete Carrroll and asked if he wanted to enter the Pantheon on NFL coaching legends and win back to back Super Bowls. To be there with Lombardi, Noll, Shula, Landry and Walsh.
          .
          .
          .
          .
          Carroll told God, “No thanks I’ll pass.”

    10. grrizzly

      Awful! He’s my best player in the fantasy league. What will I do without him in the semifinal next week?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        That was boring, C’mon Ted

    1. C. Anacreon

      I do hope we’ve reached peak butt. I long for those days, just a few years ago, when women aspired to slinky, toned bodies.

  13. straffinrun

    Khalifa, who was PornHub’s highest-ranked adult star, has previously been slammed by sports fans for her antics.

    Zardoz, what do you puke out of your mouth for that?

  14. straffinrun

    “I asked Prime Minister Netanyuhu to make some courageous gestures toward the Palestinians to get out of the current impasse,”

    Damnit, Bebe. You know what he meant.

      1. straffinrun

        Wow. Christ, what an asshole. Zardoz should nuke that link then.

        1. I was actually able to see the image, which surprised me since when I try to view some of the images I had put up on my blog using the Photobucket URL, they don’t show up properly. I am able to download them and then reload them to Blogger, however.

  15. Derpetologist

    There are people who want to put this on top of their xmas trees.

    1. Did you tell that to the good people of Oregon?

      1. Derpetologist

        They were too busy making this:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6HMDFXA50o

        1. Derpetologist

          which inspired this wonderful parody;
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh9munYYoqQ

  16. Derpetologist

    Huh. Cracked lays off most of its staff. Turns out people like articles about science and history more than SJW agitprop. I used to love that place.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      GamerGate broke them. They let a movement led by autistic virgins on Reddit and 4chan destroy their website.

      1. John Titor

        This. I distinctly remember Cracked falling apart when they started covering Gamergate, then the social justice rot festered throughout their entire site.

    2. Nephilium

      The sad thing is that when Cracked was just making funny lists, it was good. Once they started going down the SJW path, it got terrible… quickly. FFS, two of the ones listed today are: 5 Horrifying Ways America’s Hunting Undocumented Immigrants and 5 Ways Society Trains Men To Expect Sex From Women.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Cracked used to be a print magazine spinoff of MAD magazine I read as a kid, always fun so I was pleased to see it online. Then came SLW and destroyed it, a true Gem, lost.
        bucholz, et al were great fun

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          SJWs, dang it!

        2. Nephilium

          I remember the print version, and even picked up a couple of them. Although I felt MAD was the better comedy magazine. As for the website, did they really think people who read Seanbaby wanted to get preached at about politics?

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Fuck David Wong.

          2. Mad Scientist

            This. Somehow he DIDN’T get laid off.

          3. He could be a douche…I have no idea – don’t think I’ve ever read anything by him, but “John Dies At the End” is a great flick. (It is a Coscarelli flick featuring Paul Giamatti and Clancy Brown….so hard to screw up).

            Also…the “After Hours” vids on youtube are still pretty funny even if they’ve got a 2nd team playing too – not quite as good as a couple years ago, but still worth a watch.

        3. Stillhunter

          I used to get magazines with the covers off for a dime each from a small general store in Northern Wisconsin when I was a kid. My favorites were MAD and Cracked. At first they seemed like second fiddle but then got better. Of course I was only 10 or 12 so…

      2. DEG

        What’s the saying about taking over an institution, killing it, then wearing its skin?

      3. Endless Mike

        John Cheese had some very interesting (confessional style writing) articles . Nick Pell wrote a couple of lists for them. I used to be a fan, too.

      4. Not Adahn

        “roll left and die”

  17. trshmnstr

    ZARDOZ WOULD ASK HIS CHOSEN ONES FOR SUGGESTIONS FOR GIFTS, FOR THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. SINCE THEY HAVE ALREADY RECEIVED THE GIFT OF THE GUN, ZARDOZ IS A BIT STUMPED.

    Just remember to wrap them before vomiting them out

      1. straffinrun

        Looks like the Sphinx. Nice.

  18. F. Stupidity Jr.

    FOX keeps running promos for The Four. I get Meghan Trainor as Invisible Woman and DJ Khaled as The Thing, but I don’t see Puffy or the other guy playing Mr. Fantastic.

    1. The four what?

  19. DEG

    ZARDOZ WOULD ASK HIS CHOSEN ONES FOR SUGGESTIONS FOR GIFTS, FOR THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. SINCE THEY HAVE ALREADY RECEIVED THE GIFT OF THE GUN, ZARDOZ IS A BIT STUMPED.

    You cannot have too many gifts of the gun.

  20. DEG

    “I have no respect for the WWE, it’s not a real sport. It’s embarrassing.”

    Amusing. I wonder how many orgasms Mia Khalifa faked?

  21. Heroic Mulatto

    1. John Titor

      Isn’t Stan Lee agnostic?

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      So it’s O.K. to be a Ginger now?
      /whew

      1. John Titor

        No. You bear the Mark of Cain and should be ashamed.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Red Headed Giants from Space who mated with the Humans, Works for me

          1. C. Anacreon

            Isn’t the secret message about redheads being from another planet coded into the cover illustration of a pack of Camel cigarettes?

          2. C. Anacreon

            Damn, I was sure someone would recognize that book reference.

      2. AlmightyJB

        Only chicks

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Red Headed Giants aren’t Gay
          NTTAWWT

          1. AlmightyJB

            Just Cannibals.

            NTTAWWT

            https://skeptoid.com/episodes/4390

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Tasty, STEVE SMITH ain’t got that, hide now!

    3. Rhywun

      OG woke

    4. AlmightyJB

      “We must learn to judge each other on our own merits”

      Huh, I thought Lee was a prog?

    5. straffinrun

      Sounds a lot like Ayn Rand’s view on racism. Except the God part, of course.

    6. Gilmore

      NOTE: He says nothing about Guidos, because everyone knows Guidos are scum and beneath contempt.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Who’s worse Guidos or Techno Viking?

        https://youtu.be/MMh8V04s7Ts

        1. MikeS

          Funny stuff. I’ve actually been waiting for an opportunity to link that guy here. I missed the boat.

          *puts Techno Viking in back pocket and settles in to play the waiting game.*

        2. Gilmore

          Technoviking is a vanguard of the Techno-Master-Race. Scientists must carefully study his genes and preserve them; one day we shall breed an army of technobabies and erase the world of those who are weak, impure, and who offer flyers unecessarily, or hassle technoviking’s friends.

          Guidos are a biological accident.

  22. Derpetologist

    The LCS is not expected to be survivable in a hostile combat environment…
    https://blog.usni.org/posts/2011/01/02/the-lcs-is-not-expected-to-be-survivable-in-a-hostile-combat-environment

    ***
    So, we have a warship design that is not expected to fight and survive in the very environment in which it was produced to do so. Poorly-armed, poorly-protected, with an over-abundance of speed that will eat through a fuel supply in half a day.

    Yet, the Navy leadership on whose watch this abomination was delivered is hypersensitive to criticism of either their performance or the LCS itself. That such a questionable and limited capability will cost taxpayers UNDER $500 million per copy is a seeming source of pride for them.

    Warships remain the single most expensive combat system a nation can buy. Has been so since the beginnings of the iron warship. Those who run the United States Navy (not just NAVSEA) are entrusted with billions of this nation’s treasure. And this is the result. A half-billion dollar counter-drug and counter-piracy platform.
    ***

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Aluminum Hulls! 5 inch guns! Can’t withstand a live fire excersize without damage, let’s buy more!

      1. AlmightyJB

        The more that sink, the more we get to make! Is Pauly Krugnuts in charge of the Navy now?

      2. Derpetologist

        It’s the perfect weapon we don’t need to fight a war that won’t happen with money we don’t have.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          This, we don’t need Littoral warcraft, we need Blue water Destroyers(fast) and Frigates (big) and a bunch of UAVs for long range recon.
          Add in some ABMs and let em come.

          1. Derpetologist

            Hmm. I wonder whether surface ships are worth it at all. All we really need is something that floats that can launch a cruise missile.

            Carriers can do a lot, but they’re expensive as hell even without including all the escort ships they need.

            I think it would be best to reduce the Navy to a submarine force.

          2. New frigate classes are now in the plans – out for bids, etc.

            You need carriers for aircraft, force projection, stability, etc. You can’t “project” with a force nobody can see. Not unless you want to be firing cruise missiles into random countries every week. Conducting air ops is a lot cheaper and in general – involves far less loss of life.

      3. Pretty sure DDG and CGs are still the only ships with 5″ guns…or was that article talking about installing them on LCSs? 30mm =/= 5″.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          installing is what i read via USNI/realclear defense

    2. Mr Lizard

      They could have bought some laid-up oil rig supply boats. Attach ship-ship launchers and 30 mm cannons to the back. Add in squad of marines with all sort of personal hardware, then deploy at will. Total cost could be as low as 25 million. And this is not even my original idea.

      1. Drake

        The could have dropped nuclear propulsion systems into the Iowa Class battleships, installed some automation and updated the electronics, and floated the most fearsome heavyweight ships in history. Probably for the less money.

        “12 in armor belts, 12 -14″ bulkheads, 9 16” gun – capable of firing an assortment of shells – including nukes and rocket-assisted- projectiles with a range of more than 100 miles. Pretty much the definition of “survivable in a hostile combat environment…”

        1. It’s a great idea – we had CGNs and even a DDGN at one time (some photos around of a fully nuclear group in action from the late 60s) – but the manning/maintenance issues for nukes are ridiculously higher (re: more expensive) than conventionals. You know it was floated but they’ve run the numbers on that a lot. Given how frequently we refuel and all the other issues with that (probably a significant shortage of folks who even want to be (or qualified to enlist as) nukes really….too many security issues too.

    3. I’d assume it’s the result of defense contractor lobbying combined with deskbound admirals.

    4. Gilmore

      I don’t really follow this, but isn’t the claimed point of the thing sort of a “super-coast-guard” type vessel -ie. interdicting unarmed, fast smuggling ships in waterways where bigger/slower ships wouldn’t be able to go, and capable of bursts of speed that allow it to quickly close distance with people who try and run?

      maybe im wrong. i think there are 2 different questions tho: whether its capable of doing the job its intended to do… or whether the job its intended to do is something anyone really fucking needs something to do in the first place. People often flip between these points as convenient for their argument.

      – not to pick on frankie when he’s not around, but he’d frequently defend aircraft that, from the POV of layman, seemed ‘unecessary’ in this way. he’d say, “but they DO do X, Y, and Z incredibly well”, when the point was really, “well, but we really only need X. Y and Z are ‘nice’ but not actually likely situations (e.g. ‘air to air confrontation between equally matched 4th gen fighters, or whatever)’.

      I’m not saying he was wrong in those examples, but i’m curious if a similar issue is at play here. That article has this guy fuming that the LCS can’t fight *wars* in the littoral zone. But that’s not actually the job that they (theoretically) needed it for. And…. really, buddy?”

      “Combat in the littorals is characterized by fierce and unexpected engagements, from small and fast surface vessels, submarines, shore-based weapon systems, missiles, mines, and aircraft. “

      Yeah, and you see this happening when and where in the near future? AFAIK, this ship isnt’ intended to engage Iran, its made to fuck with smugglers

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Gilmore, that’s the point, We need Large Blue water ships, not Green water defense, or go under water as was said by others

        1. Gilmore

          , We need Large Blue water ships

          Do we? i’m not super sure of that either. I do know there isn’t another navy on earth who can go toe-to-toe with anything we have afloat. is the ratio of our capability to [Everyone else] still not high enough?

          i’m open to the idea we might need stuff, its just not clear to me that ‘more of the same’ is a pressing concern.

        2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

          Gilmore is on point. LCS was never intended to meet the requirements for a ship of the line. That is not what the program was set up for, all this wailing results from scope creep because there are those still looking for a Perry replacement and want to lever that into the LCS. Also, going underwater doesn’t get you inshore.

  23. commodious spittoon

    Alllllllllllllllllllllllright, It’s Always Sunny has run its course. Christ, this should have ended two seasons ago. It’s the live action Simpsons, but somehow worse.

    1. Nephilium

      Which episode is provoking this reaction?

      1. commodious spittoon

        Wolf Cola in season 12. It’s gotten too complicated and self-referential. I was willing to give the past couple episodes a pass. The waterpark episode, that was superb. Dennis and his ersatz daughter, excellent. But this, it’s not fun. I can’t imagine rewatching this. It’s not punchy or fun.

        1. Nephilium

          I understand the complaint. I just ask that you watch through Hero or Hate Crime (S12E06), then make a decision. I still think they have the gang are able to put together some great episodes. I’m more concerned that they may try to do the next season without Dennis, which I don’t think will really work.

          1. Nephilium

            Sweet Cheebus… I need to stop editing while posting.

            *I still think the gang are able to put together some great episodes.

            /claims typing as a Donkey-brained Charlie.

          2. commodious spittoon

            Okay, I’m liking this. I’m getting into this. It was a bit of an odd start, but I’m okay with it. FAGGOT!

        2. Endless Mike

          After a hundred episodes, they’re bound to whiff a couple.

  24. Derpetologist

    This made me like Portland a little:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ8sFRuDyiU

    features unicycle, bagpipes that shoot flames, and an inflatable Imperial Walker

  25. Ken Shultz

    All porn stars have herpes, amirite?

    I saw a porn star the other day. It said she was some 23 years old and she’d done like 123 films. She was getting called out in the media because she wouldn’t do porn with guys that did gay porn–because she said there was no way to know what they did in their private lives, and she was worried about HIV. People in the industry started calling her out as a homophobe.

    You know PC is getting bad when people call you a homophobe because you won’t blow a gay guy. I mean, Jesus H. Christ.

    Anyway, I don’t really care about that. I’m talkin’ about something else. You know softens up a diamond cutter faster than a cold shower? Thinking about this girl doing 123 films with, let’s face it, probably more than 123 people.

    If those other 123 porn people have had sex with 123 people, too, then, sure, there’s gonna be some overlap. They’ll have been screwing some of the same porn people. Still, let’s cut that factor by ten. So, they’ve all had sex with twelve people. 123*12, carry the one, . . . that equals herpes.

    If one in a hundred people have genital herpes, then she’s caught it ten times over!

    That is not a turn on.

    You should see the girls on the Strand come beach volleyball season.

    1. straffinrun

      She wound up killing herself. That porn star? Seriously fucked up stuff.

      1. Ken Shultz

        Is that why I heard about her?

        Yeah, now I remember. She’d died and no one knew why at the time.

        That’s how she died?

        Sad story.

        Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too young.

    2. egould310

      I noticed many lovely college girls on the beach, playing volleyball. Friday and Saturday, I ran in the afternoon along the beach path. ???

    3. What we need is porn in which people speak ill of Rand Paul.

      1. Ken Shultz

        I’m not anywhere near gay, but if Rand Paul voted to cut Medicaid like he’s supposed to, that would turn me on.

        But, you know, if that’s what you’re into, I’m not gonna judge.

  26. straffinrun

    A. Barton Hinkle column: Warnings about monopoly power are right

    For all the power corporations have, though, even the biggest lack a monopoly exercised by government: the monopoly over the legitimate use of force. Facebook can’t compel you to join its social network — but the federal government has the power to make you join the Army. Apple can’t force you buy an iPod at the point of a gun, but governments oblige you to purchase services you don’t want all the time. Strange, isn’t it, that Warren and others who rail about the danger of monopoly are so eager to wield the power of the biggest monopoly of all?

    There’s been a noticeable decrease in the number of his columns appearing at TOS. Coincidence?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I linked that earlier bro

      1. straffinrun

        I just got up. There was a flood. It was locusts. It wasn’t my fault.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Secret liberal?
          /JK

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Coincidence?

      I think not.

  27. Derpetologist

    Here’s how you defeat tanks on the cheap:

    https://medium.com/war-is-boring/the-toyota-pickup-truck-is-the-war-chariot-of-the-third-world-ea4a121e948b

    ***
    Pickup trucks’ mobility makes them ideal for Third World warfare. Four-wheel-drives can tackle almost any terrain. Light trucks don’t weigh much, allowing them to cross weak bridges and fragile roads that would be impassable to armored vehicles weighing tens of tons.
    The speed of a pickup is handy on the battlefield, helping fighters overcome those other hallmarks of Third World warfare: bad intelligence, weak leadership, poor planning.
    Pickup trucks require no special logistical support; any country with gas stations—that is, every country on Earth—can support them. They don’t guzzle fuel like heavy military vehicles and they don’t require constant maintenance. If a pickup breaks down, parts probably can be found. And if they can’t, well, it’s just a pickup truck. Park it. Walk away.
    Pickups don’t require special training to operate. Unlike armored vehicles, anyone who already knows how to drive a car can drive a truck with a machine gun bolted on the back.

    Between 1978 and 1987, Chad and Libya fought a series of clashes over a of slice of Chadian desert territory known as the Aouzou Strip. The war sputtered on for nine years, but what finally turned the tide was a radical stroke of genius, what today we could call an asymmetrical response to the problem of the Libyan army.
    The Libyan military campaigned in Chad like the conventional force it was, with Soviet-made T-62 tanks, armored personnel carriers, modern artillery and attack jets. By contrast, the Chadian army was a ragtag force that could never hope to field the same firepower as the Libyans.
    The Chadians and their French allies knew there was no chance of turning N’Djamena’s army into a mechanized force equal to the Libyans. So they didn’t try.
    Instead, the Chadians outfitted themselves with 400 Toyota pickup trucks. Modified for sandy conditions, the Toyotas each could carry half a dozen fighters, as long as comfort wasn’t a real concern.
    Many of the trucks were fitted with machine guns, automatic grenade launchers and MILAN anti-tank guided missiles. Designed by Germany and France to kill Soviet tanks on the European battlefield, MILANs could destroy Libyan armored vehicles at ranges of up to 2,000 yards.

    The Chadians used a combination of diversionary tactics and raids to demoralize and defeat Libyan troops. Columns of Chadian army Toyotas would appear in one direction, drawing the attention of the Libyans. The main Chadian force would then approach from the opposite direction and attack with missiles, destroying the previously invulnerable Libyan tanks.
    At the Battle of Fada, 4,000 to 5,000 Chadian troops in Toyota pickup trucks defeated a Libyan armored brigade, killing 784 Libyans and their allies. Nearly 100 Libyan tanks and more than 30 armored personnel carriers were destroyed in the fighting. Chadian losses were a mere 18 troops and three Toyotas.
    ***

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      So the Wookies Beat the Empire?

      1. Derpetologist

        More like Tusken Raiders.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      I remember in the early days of OEF somebody in the media noticed this and asked Toyota for a state,ent about it, They obliged to the tune of, “look, we just make the truck, its not on us what our customers do with it.”

    3. Watch some youtube videos of Syrian resistance. Those guys get a kick out of wasting TOWs against a solitary sentry or group of “infantry in the open” (ie. 3 guys walking in the street). Shot to hit/kill ratio of ATGMs the last few years is absolutely miniscule – (just burning through cold war inventory) – compared to say…the Red Storm Rising scenarios of ATGM vs actual Armor.

    4. And try attacking a fixed professional defensive fighting position of any type with any kind of “Technical” and you will get tore the f up. (.50/240B/Mk19/etc – any of those will eat a Technical). Blackhawk Down was scary for a handful of dismounts facing that kind of firepower, but an MRAP with a turret is another story – even more so with a Remote Weapon Station.

      1. Derpetologist

        “And try attacking a fixed professional defensive fighting position of any type with any kind of “Technical” and you will get tore the f up.”

        And if you try to slice bread with a hammer, the slices will be squished and funky-looking.

        My point is that it’s silly to dismiss a weapon because it can’t do everything. Technicals are a proven concept and one worth adopting and improving.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          We adopted ‘technicals’ in the use of HMMWV Scout platoons and the light ACR.

          Bottom line, in combat, against prepared enemy, you can make them work poorly if you’re willing to trade soldier’s lives for economy.

          The fact that a Libyan bunch of tactical retards in Korean war era equipment got owned by modern ATGMs and US/French tactical and operational support and advice doesn’t mean we should adopt it anymore than we are.

          To wit, we do use these types of tactics in certain SOF/Low level conflict situations and is how we got MRAPs.

          An MRAP is just a technical with better armor.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Before HMMWVs we had M151 TOWs. Same idea.

          2. We still have HMMWV TOW carriers – just replacing them with JLTVs, etc.

    5. Mr Lizard

      And they offer special magic protection to the driver…especially if they are up against the LAPD

    6. Drake

      January 1991 there was at least one of those pickups that some Haji would drive past the First Marine Division base camp. A Dragon missile sorted them out very nicely.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      That was Hilarious! Grindcore is the Bestess
      /total Sarc

    2. Derpetologist

      comment gold:
      “The most talented group of untalented people i have ever seen”

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        The Guitar player looks like me on a piano Drunk, meaning most of my piano playing

    3. Ken Shultz

      Wow! Gilmore’s an AxCx fan!

      I’m more fond of Pig Destroyer (same guitarist), but that’s just me.

      I think this is one of the most interesting music videos ever made by anybody:

      NSFW–not for sex stuff but for being weird as fuck.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6dycCqqZS0

      I don’t suppose it’s weird that he/they aren’t as hardcore as they used to be. Now they’re doing like a bunch of ambient shit live.

      Greatest video. Fave jam to follow:

      1. Ken Shultz

        Fave pig destroyer jam:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvjGipvKaF0

        Eight mile run? On mile seven? Approaching your best time?

        I want to listen to THAT.

      2. Gilmore

        Gilmore’s an AxCx fan!

        confession: i just stumbled upon that now.

        1. J. Frank Parnell

          Their song names and lyrics are fucking gold.

      3. Gilmore

        that IS a good video.

  28. Scruffy Nerfherder

    GIVE THE GIFT OF THE POCKET PROTECTOR. PREVENT REPRODUCTION.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I own and use a pocket protector, handy for just grabbing pens, sharpies, notebooks and 2 screwdrivers all at once, but that’s just me
      /Efficient

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Do you want to have children?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          2 kids, 7 Grandkids, next…..

          1. Bobarian LMD

            So you say you’re done having kids?

  29. straffinrun

    The Laurier president’s interview on The Agenda. A week or so ago, but I just got around to watching it. She obviously is trying to balance on a web of bullshit university rules while not letting the mask completely slip. It’s enraging listening to this blatant liar use gibberish to muddy the waters.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      I can’t remember who posted this a couple days ago here, but it could have been written today instead of 1965:

      https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6hVrqZWBjz3WEJIV1RmcGphWkk/view

    2. Gilmore

      use gibberish to muddy the waters.

      but… that’s most of what people do in college

  30. Gustave Lytton

    https://youtu.be/2T7TXVtGGFc

    Released 39 years ago so I’m late to the party, but the group’s name alone would cause hysterics today. Reminds me of playing Metroid or Zelda or similar on the NES as a kid.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Me like!

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Both that album (two versions, the US version has one less song) and Solid State Survivor are available on US Itunes. Surprised it’s actually available. So much stuff isn’t, and is also blocked in Youtube with geographic restrictions (wish Youtube would return blocked videos in search results so it was much more evident). Don’t have to wait for my next trip, although I’ve rediscovered the pleasure of going to a record/CD/whatever shop.

        Heard this track in Tower but couldn’t figure out if the new album was for sale or it was an admission ticket to a live performance in the following month. Went with a previous album instead.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          An earlier music video from the same guys. Google translate sez they’re Triple Fire.

    2. straffinrun

      That’s gonna take a little while to get through. *Starts chain smoking*

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        You can take it, You’re Japanese, sort of, 🙂

        1. straffinrun

          男女ともに「自分のあれの味」って、自分ではよくわかっていないのではないかと思います。

          男子がドバっと出したものをお口に含む女子がいて、そのお口とキスをすると「共食い」になるので、キスをしたくない……こういうことを考えている男子は「自分のあれの味」を知らないでしょう。

          さて今回は、男子が明かした「女子のアソコの味」についてご紹介します。
          さっそく見ていきましょう。

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            I’ll take that as an insult, Wooden Katanas at Dawn?

          2. straffinrun

            共食い. Cannibalism, but not that type. 69 style. We don’t know what we taste like and we don’t want to kiss after doing that.

  31. Tundra

    Watch my taillights fade to black.

    Have a great night, you freaks!

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Peace out! good song for a Night ender

    1. Mad Scientist

      Since when is 200 rounds a “large amount?”

      1. straffinrun

        The comments are a treat. Battle over whether it was the Moooslimes or (((Jyooos))).

        1. Rhywun

          I don’t read comments unless someone points them out. And… this is why.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        When they’re 7.65 caliber? That’s naval guns size right there.

    2. Gilmore

      Headline
      Stash of bullets discovered near Christmas market in Berlin not linked to terrorism

      Actual story

      “Due to the proximity of the ammunition storage to the Christmas market, and the fact that above the underground car park is a mosque, a dangerous situation is [being] assumed,” Bild reported citing police.

      Authorities quickly deployed dog units and searched a nearby park for more possible weapons or ammunition stockpiles, trying to determine if there was any credible threat. Riot police were also deployed to the scene of the Christmas market at Charlottenburg Palace.

      “So far there are no further finds,” said police spokesman Winfrid Wenzel. “It is unclear to whom the ammunition belonged to.”

      Yeah, so if you’re the editor, the conclusion you run with is “terror completely ruled out”, right? Right.

      In the sidebar next to that story

      Wired device ‘filled with nails’ defused at Christmas market in Potsdam, Germany

      its certainly possible that some jackass right-wingers might think that leaving “suspicious packages” near christmas markets is a great way to gin up anti-muslim furor.
      i mean, the left does “fake hate crimes” all the time. I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes in-vogue on the extreme right.

      its just that….well, unlike the fake-hate crimes in the US, there *have* been plenty of real terror attacks in Europe, on exactly these sorts of targets, in the very recent past. you’d think there would be very little motivation or need to ‘fake’ them

      1. straffinrun

        It’s most definitely terrorist related. Just depends on who the terrorist is. *Suppose it could be a “Now where did I put those 200 rounds?”

        1. Rhywun

          Stupid terrorists?

  32. I had to take a telecom from India (Monday morning there) so I didn’t get to say this earlier: I am honored to have gotten the inaugural ZARDOZ 1st gif. For everyone!

    https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/1243180-23.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Sharpie Eyebrows, otherwise yum

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            #4 OOOOOOHHHHHH, yes Sir, always got it Q, #3 is, toothy?

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Am I John? Fuck!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        YAY! A Jewess ,and a little Boy, I love the the Jewess, she purty

  33. Rufus the Monocled

    Wentz. Torn ACL feared. This organization can’t catch a break.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Nope.

      I never thought I could feel this devastated after a win to clinch the NFC East with 3 weeks left.

  34. Juvenile Bluster

    Jesus Christ I hate Roy Moore.

    He is the absolute worst kind of social conservative authoritarian.

    But all anybody’s focusing on is who he dated 30 years ago.

    And he’s going to be in the fucking senate because we’re all idiots.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I don’t live in Alabama, who’s this We?

    2. Rhywun

      Meh, I only blame Alabama.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Ok, you’re right. It is Alabama’s fault.

        But we are all idiots.

        Except for the people here, obviously.

        1. Rhywun

          But we are all idiots.

          Well, yeah.

    3. Hyperion

      Yeah, but would you rather have a Democrat? I mean I could almost support Hitler over your average Democrat.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        An authoritarian is an authoritarian. Moore may actually be the greater evil in that race.

        1. Mr Lizard

          If an authoritarian is not smart enough to grab guns then he is just another Pompous windbag who thinks he wields power.

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            Moore would be first in line to grab your guns if he thought it would help him get the kind of social controls he wants.

        2. Hyperion

          I don’t think so. As bad as SoCons suck, they are not as great a threat as a communist.

          1. C. Anacreon

            And when it all comes down to it, he is just one vote in the Senate. Can’t cause much SoCon authoritarianism as that.

      2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

        Hitler is pro-market.

    4. ^^^ Yup. Even if the accusations are true, it sounds like what he did in his 30s was not illegal. Seedy, yes, but not illegal. Instead of focusing on the issues, we make everything political, personal and it becomes a circus. Obama was a shitstain but he was a gifted politician and he was definitely right about one thing, make a big election about small issues.

      Frankly, I couldn’t care less about politicians’ personal lives, as long as it’s not illegal. So Alabamans have a choice between a gun grabbing post-birth abortion enthusiast and a gay hating Bible thumping lunatic.

      1. Rhywun

        Instead of focusing on the issues, we make everything political, personal and it becomes a circus.

        I was looking at the front page of the NY Post a while ago and “circus” is exactly what it is. Somebody somewhere did something awful and that’s the WORST THING EVER.

    5. Mr Lizard

      Team Politics it’s fannnnnnntastic

    6. straffinrun

      Did you see this, JB.

      1. NO! He’s one of the good ones! DAMMIT.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        I saw it. Was hoping he would be SCOTUS one day.

  35. straffinrun

    Kiddo’s new Electone came yesterday. Gilmore tried to save me some coin, but I buckled to the wife and bought it. Back to instant ramen for me.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      If She loves it, and knows it, let her Flourish on it, Good Dad!

      1. straffinrun

        You guys are the musicians. Ok. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Someday she’ll change your diapers (hopefully).

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            If She can run that machine, She will

    2. Gilmore

      That’s cool. It plays organ, AND it can control NORAD.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Seriously, more than I need, but whatever works

      2. But Enough About Me

        I can’t even find this thing on a North American site. B&H Photo doesn’t even list it. What the Hell is it?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Jap Moog? I dunno

        2. Gustave Lytton

          Yamaha ELS-01 I think.

          1. Gilmore

            its basically little-different from the popular ‘all in one’ Workstation keyboards of the 1990s/2000s like the Korg Triton/Motif, which integrate synthesis, sampling, sequencing, recording .. and basically serve as a one stop shop platform for all sorts of possible performance or recording purposes. the disadvantage of them tended to be, by trying to do everything well, they didn’t do any single thing ‘great’

            the main difference is that these electone things are basically in Organ format, and orient entirely around performance using organ techniques (e.g. use of multiple, split key maps, plus bass pedals, each of which might have entirely independent controls for dynamics)

            i.e. you could set your bass pedals to play double bass, your left hand to play cello, and your right hand to jump between a keyboard with doubled violins, and a solo one. you could also program your controls (expression pedals, sustain, etc) to produce different dynamic effects to each layer, or trigger changes to sounds.

            While a traditional workstation keyboard could in theory do most of that…you couldn’t *play* it like an organ. it doesn’t have the key-range or the pedals, or the normal controls for organ dynamics.

            they are also probably far more ‘performance’ oriented than workstations, which really are more for composers arrangers.

          2. Gilmore

            yeah, basically: using organ format to replicate performance by entire symphony.

            which utilizes some sequences which are being triggered by the performance, or changes to sounds which are triggered by the sequence.

            e.g. in one section, her foot is playing timpani, in another its the bass cellos/tubas, etc. and i’d guess all the snare drums are triggered sequences

          3. straffinrun

            Thanks. Sorry, but I stepped out for a bit to watch Life (Ryan Reynolds). Lol ending. If she can play that Star Wars theme it’ll be worth it. So far her big feat is the Harry Potter theme. I’ve been to couple of the Yamaha recitals and was impressed.

  36. Hyperion

    CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!!!!

    CULTURAL APPROPRIATION TODAY IN ANNAPOLIS. MURLANDERS NOT WOKE!!!!!

    Sorry, for the all caps, but this is a crisis of the utmost severity. How can any of you shitlords even sleep tonight?

    1. Gustave Lytton

      There’s a store selling tobacco products?!? KILL THE PUBLIC HEALTH MENACE!

    2. F. Stupidity Jr.

      How can any of you shitlords even sleep tonight?

      Once I’ve plowed through two or three brown girls I bought at the Koch Sex Slave Auction, I’m pretty tuckered out.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Mine are sleeping, so I’m not disturbed,
        /I am Disturbed

  37. Yusef drives a Kia

    This is really great Music, just….
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL6ZSj769vE

  38. Akira

    OT: What are you lunatics cooking tonight?

    I made about 42 kreplach dumplings (stuffed with ground beef, garlic, onion, and herbs) and I’m boiling a bigass beef bone right now to make the broth. I’m going to make a soup with carrots, celery, onions, and the kreplach. That will be my dinner for the coming week.

    I have a hunk of ribeye in the fridge, but I can’t decide if I want to use it to make gyudon or just fry it up with some potatoes and green beans.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Mmmm, sounds good. No cooking, leftover Thai followed by tater tots. Thinking about making fajitas this week.

  39. Derpetologist

    Extra early link

    https://warisboring.com/your-periodic-reminder-that-the-v-22-is-a-piece-of-junk/

    ***
    The Osprey’s performance figures look impressive on paper. Yes, it can fly farther than a regular helicopter. It can fly higher than a helicopter—although it’s unpressurized. It has a larger load capacity than a CH-46. And it looks cool!

    The CH-46 could haul 15 fully loaded combat troops out to 160 miles. The V-22 should be able to carry 24 troops 233 miles, assuming it’s also carrying extra fuel tanks. En route, the V-22 is too fast to be escorted by conventional AH-1Z attack helicopters and too slow to tag along with F/A-18 fighters, making the tiltrotor all but defenseless.

    The problems compound. A notoriously unforgiving aircraft, the Osprey is almost impossible to land in a brown-out situation, in which dust and dirt envelope the cockpit. To have any chance in a brown-out, a V-22 crew has to use advanced avionics and an infrared camera.

    Once on station, the Osprey has still more problems. It can’t hover for very long so it can’t loiter well. The V-22’s prop-boxes—the transmission allowing the propellers to act as rotors—have great difficulty shedding heat. The only way to cool them is to fly around in airplane mode.

    This would seemingly defeat the purpose of a convertible aircraft. And there isn’t a single helicopter in the military inventory with such limits.

    At best, operating with the V-22 at sea is a dangerous dance in mishap-avoidance for everyone involved. The Osprey’s downwash is so powerful that it frequently knocks down deck crew. In 2010 during Fleet Week celebrations in New York City, a V-22 injured 10 people with its rotor blast.

    Simply taking off from a ship in an Osprey requires the pilots to keep one nacelle over the deck, while the other hangs over the water. This results in an immediate lift asymmetry. During an at-sea rescue mission, the V-22’s downwash could drown a survivor in the water before the crew can hoist them to safety.

    Sailors have a joke. “The Osprey can wave at you while you drown.”

    One of the CH-46’s major missions was to transport Marine Maritime Raiding Forces to conduct what the military calls Helicopter Visit Board Search and Seizure. Usually that means Marines sliding onto a ship’s deck down ropes dangling from a hovering helicopter.

    The Navy’s standard MH-60 does this at an altitude of around 15 feet, with two fast rope attachment points and minimal downwash. The Osprey, on the other hand, requires a much higher hover height—and only has a single attachment point.

    Raiders call the V-22 the “elevator of death” because of how violently the ropes move in the downdraft. Ospreys have never attempted HVBSS on a vessel smaller than an amphibious assault ship, which is a highly unlikely target for such raids.

    One of the things the Osprey does do well is long-range transportation with a light load. Unfortunately, most Marine Expeditionary Units only allow the V-22 to travel 25 miles over water without a wingman.

    The V-22’s maintenance costs are exorbitant. An Osprey costs $11,000 per hour to fly, compared to just $4,600 for a CH-46.

    And all that money still translates into very poor reliability. During one 2013 deployment, usually only half of the V-22s were mission-capable, one of which flew onto the ship at the beginning of a four-month cruise, subsequently broke and barely managed to fly off the ship at the deployment’s conclusion.
    ***

    Welcome to Operation Head Desk