Finally Friday Afternoon Links

This three day work week (and two day link week) like to kill me. I am so ready to bail. Instead, I’ll hang here with you nice people.

Cell phones added to the list of products known to cause cancer in California. Which is why I only use mine outside of California.

I haven’t used MongoDB, but it appears to be about as craptastic as Microsoft SQL was 15 or 20 years ago, security-wise. The State of California has 4GB of voter information being held for bitcoin ransom. Pay now before the cost doubles!

I was told that women could not be sexual harassers. What’s wrong with Kansas?

Rape U is upholding the reputation set by the football program in their Greek system.

Comments

434 responses to “Finally Friday Afternoon Links”

    1. kjzz? K Jizz? FAKE NEWS.

    2. RBS

      That grey haired dude looks just like my asshole neighbor.

      1. I imagine that’s what the kids from Hanson will look like when they get old and fat like Val Kilmer did.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Oh shit.

          I think I broke a rib.

          *Laughing*

    3. Sour Kraut

      holy s***

    4. Sean

      I clicked the link…I got as far as Queen Creek and shut the browser window.

      1. You should probably reformat your hard disk just to be sure.

        1. F. Stupidity Jr.

          That’s what I did. Then I threw the laptop out the window and set the apartment on fire.

          1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            …wait. I hope you went outside and the set the laptop on fire too.

          2. When the building burned down, part of it toppled over onto the laptop….fortunately.

          3. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            Just As Planned.

  1. So California, the land of Cancer and lack of privacy?

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      I can’t believe there is a person left alive in California with all the things that cause cancer there.

      1. Rhywun

        Some innocuous food product I bought recently (spaghetti sauce? I don’t remember) had a huge Kalifornia Kancer warning on it. I laffed.

    2. But, but, WEATHER!

      1. SUNLIGHT CAUSES CANCER!

        /California (and medicine, to some extent)

        1. Gadfly

          OMG YOU’RE RIGHT!!!

          California better start building shades all across the state to shield their people from this perfidious threat. They can’t just do nothing when something could be done to prevent this danger. Do they even care?

        2. JaimeRoberto

          That’s why they put a big Prop 65 sign on the sun. Just don’t look too hard for it.

  2. It has been 4 hours since had mammary intercourse. Things are different now. As soon as the nipples were exposed I felt a shockwave through my mind. I have reason to believe I have super intelligence and psychic powers now.. 3 hours after that I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I’m not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it’s possible that the government has found out. If I don’t update this again please send more tits.

    https://archive.is/HUhzX

    1 (especially the one on the left, yowza), 4, 6, 7, 10, 13, 24, 26… fuck it. Orgy.

    1. Tundra

      Strong group.

      3,4,7

    2. Sour Kraut

      7 is warped with an algo.

    3. This Machine

      Is #27… commando? Because lemme tell ya, there’s no better way to get me to go from zero to fully torqued, than to have a girl hint to me that she’s free-lippin’ it.

      1. The Other Kevin

        This. I wish they had commando galleries at the chive. They do not.

    4. But Enough About Me

      What gives, #9? No sauce on the pasta?

      We just can’t be friends anymore.

      1. AlmightyJB

        I’ve got some sauce for those tatas

    5. OneOut

      #27 and I will be in my bunk for a while.

      Number 32 if you drop by for a visit don’t bother knocking , just come on in.

  3. Private Chipperbot

    Rape U is upholding the reputation set by the football program in their Greek system.

    Happy Valley, indeed…

    1. Chipwooder

      STEVE SMITH GOT INTO RAPE U AS LEGACY APPLICANT

    2. creech

      Underage drinking in Penna.? Thanks to the commie liquor store system, no child under 21 can obtain alcohol, and we want to keep it that way.
      These yoots must be bootlegging liquor and beer in from Maryland or Delaware or some other state where the free market doesn’t care if a
      20 1/2 yr. old gets to sip a PBR or other rot gut.

  4. Playa Manhattan

    Ahem. That’s Child Rape U.

    1. In Soviet Union, U Rape Child!

  5. Playa Manhattan

    AutoNation sucks. They are now on my enemies list.

    1. OneOut

      I was the first buyer hired by AutoNation in the state of Texas back when they were a start up.

      It was a stock dwindle from day 1 (In my humble opinion).

      The original two investors tripled their investment at the same time they took a 400 million write down.

      The stories I could tell.

  6. Having sex with a girl is GAY. Half of her chromosomes are from her dad and half of her chromosomes are from her mom. But so are yours. Therefore, every time you have sex it’s 50% gay and 50% straight. So if u ain’t bi then quit having sex. Y’all motherfuckers make me sick.

    1. Breet Pharara

      Every time you post pictures of boobs and I…use them, you are helping me get off. That makes you gay. Just saying.

      1. It’s a (really, really, REALLY) dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    AutoNation sucks. They are now on my enemies list.

    *pauses, listens intently for lamentations of wimminz*

    1. Playa Manhattan

      They sold the car I had on hold yesterday. I was going out there to buy it today. I had it reserved until Sunday. We had an agreement; they broke it because they are sleazy.

      That hasn’t stopped them from calling me several times today to “confirm” test drives on other cars that I DO NOT WANT.

      I mean, does that scam even work? People show up to test drive a car without realizing that it’s the wrong one, and then they buy it? Fucking scumbags.

      1. I haven’t seen that work since Clark Griswold fell for it in 1983.

        1. egould310

          ?

          1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            One of my favorite parts is right here where I’m assuming the light blue AMC Eagle station wagon pulling up is supposed to be an example of the Arctic Blue Sports Wagon that Clark originally reserved.

      2. Drake

        I had a deal set up through TrueCar last year. Would have closed the deal on a Saturday but had an out of town commitment. Called back on Tuesday and the dealership had been sold. New owners and new salespeople who didn’t know me and could not find the car I was going to buy.

        1. Sean

          OK…that’s kinda funny.

          1. Drake

            Was literally walked around the showroom looking for the lady I’d been talking to and the car I had looked at. Both gone without a trace.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          That excuse is more reasonable than whatever excuse they’re going to give me after I file an unresolvable complaint with the BBB.

          1. I wouldn’t even do that. You’re better off going to the CA Dept of Consumer Affairs. IIRC, they have actual oversight and can levy actual penalties or initiate an arbitration process if you have something in writing tgatbsaid they’d reserve a specific car.
            The fact that they’re trying to steer you to another car after selling that one out from under you is probably not helping their case. Also, go see if it’s still being advertised online. It’s illegal to advertise a vehicle which is not available for purchase. There is no grace period for removing an advertisement, and it must be removed immediately once a car is no longer for sale.
            The more violations you can present, the more likely they are going to be compelled to settle in a favorable way to avoid penalties.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            I know they sold it. It was in demand, which is why I reserved it in the first place. The ad is now gone.

          3. My point is that the BBB really doesn’t mean much anymore. Not when AutoNation constantly has ads on tv and the radio. You need the state dept with oversight hammering on them for violating an agreement. They can put pressure on them in ways that actually hurt (warnings and fines). The BBB, especially on an unresolvable complaint, can’t.

  8. tarran

    Someone shared this tweet with me on facebook. Fortunately for her, she agreed it was iredeemably retarded.

    Killing #NetNeutrality would kill access to abortion information. Before tomorrow’s vote, take action with @NARAL to demand the @FCC keep internet open for #ReproFreedom https://t.co/RaTuPF9VlY— Sandra Fluke (@SandraFluke) December 14, 2017

    1. Has to be parody… just has to be… *puts head in oven*

      1. tarran

        I take it you are a Nazi who doesn’t want to subsidize her sexual adventures?

        1. I’ll donate to a kickstarter for her to get a hysterectomy if that’s what it takes…

      1. Do you think they understand that constant, non-stop hysterics about everything just discredits any future arguments they make, even if those arguments are half decent?

        1. As if they give a shit about tomorrow. They are literally fighting for their lives day to day in Trump’s America. Literally.

        2. Tonio

          No, Q, unfortunately not. Their base has a short memory. And remember that they have conditioned their followers to ignore facts and only pay attention to the narrative.

        3. Just Say’n

          As a co-worker poignantly said: “If John Kasich won the election, Democrats would still say he was illegitimate, because hysterics are their bread and butter”

        4. AlmightyJB

          There’s always a new crop of college freshman waiting to be brainderped. Or is it derpwashed?

      2. AlmightyJB

        Love the replies

    2. Playa Manhattan

      *goes to google*
      “How do kill me beby?”

      Yep, she’s right. Can’t find anything.

      1. Gadfly

        It’s the dawn of a new dark age. People will have to revert to using silphium.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      Don’t these people ever worry about what’s going to happen when the wolf actually shows up?

      1. grrizzly

        Come on. Trump is the wolf. Everybody knows it.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      You have got to be shitting me.

    5. Michael

      Are you telling me that publicity seeking charlatans will hitch their wagon to just about any highly visible cause no matter how specious the link may seem?

      Bowl me the fuck over with a feather.

    6. AlmightyJB

      I volunteer to push her down stairs as many times as it takes.

    7. AlmightyJB

      That may be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen on Facebook.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Via Daily caller:

    The National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) reversed a former President Barack Obama-era policy Thursday, that held employers responsible for violations committed by their subcontractors.

    The Republican controlled panel voted 3-2 to overturn a 2015 decision known as Browning-Ferris, stating a company was considered to be a “joint-employer” with their subcontractors, according to The Hill.

    Apparently, that’s all we need to know. What does this do? What does it mean? Whom does it affect?

    Who knows?

    1. Raston Bot

      obviously this ruling will mean our children will no longer have access to educational materials, our sluts won’t have access to abortion information, and life in the USA will degrade to the point that we’ll be eating old people and orphans to survive.

      1. I don’t know what country you’re in, but from my end there’s nothing left to save. Within 12 hours of the end of NN the entire landscape was rendered utterly sterile and uninhabitable. I’m pirating an ancient landline connection from used to be NORAD to write this message. I had to take refuge here to escape the atmosphere, which has been replaced by Sarin. Right outside I can see mutant dogs and cats having sex. It’s utter chaos, misery, despair and death. I can’t wait for the sweet release of the Void to free me from this world of KKKorporate internet.

        1. creech

          Al Gore, hardest hit.

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          NOW OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED KNOWS WHERE TO FIND INFIDEL Q!

      2. Tonio

        Q: What does a sixty five year old woman taste like?

        A: Depends.

        Thanks folks, here all week, tip your waitress.

        1. Tundra

          *polite applause*

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          *gags*

          *claps*

        3. MikeS

          Depends on what?

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            65 year old Women of course

    2. Just Say’n

      People will die. This is known

    3. RAHeinlein

      Warren Buffet hardest hit? Our professional and other business insurance premiums sky-rocketed following that decision.

    4. J. Frank Parnell

      What does it mean? Let me google it… oh wait, my ISP is charging $100 for every google search now, so nevermind.

    5. Grumbletarian

      This is an attack on the LGBTQWERTY4EVA community!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Astro Gays!

    1. Tonio

      Delicious.

    2. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

      Hell yeah. I never tire of telling people about the Dallas branch of the EPA running two of our best classic car junkyards out of business. Fuck the EPA.

  10. Drake

    We have 3 friends with thyroid cancer. A good friend of ours just had her thyroid removed and is dealing with all kinds of hormone problems.

    She’s convinced it was the cell phone – which was always talking on against her head,

    1. Mad Scientist

      My wife had thyroid cancer last year. She does talk on the phone a lot….

  11. The Late P Brooks

    I mean, does that scam even work?

    I believe that is the genesis of the term, “bait and switch”.

    “Oh, golly, Mister. The damndest thing happened this morning. That car I had set aside for you? My boss sold it to some lady from Petaluma. But don’t worry, we’ve got plenty of great cars on the lot. Now, if you just come over here, I’ll show you a real creampuff.”

  12. Just Say’n

    Still think you guys should make a shirt that says “Don’t Worry, the Jacket Will Save Us” from Bacon’s awesome Hitler video

  13. Gilmore

    I got sent some stupid, “Test your awareness of the news” quiz

    being bored on friday pm, i took it. all the questions were about bullshit pop culture. Star wars, heisman trophy winner, trump tweets, etc. One question was, “who invented bitcoin”. Its not really pop culture, but its not news either.

    apparently stuff like, “Where is ISIS headquartered, and what happened there recently”, or “what is jerusalem capitol of”, or “what’s the general direction of political trend in Europe” isn’t ‘News’.

    1. Just Say’n

      I thought we still don’t know the true identity of the person who created bitcoin?

      1. Gilmore

        We don’t. Satoshi wasshisname i thought denied parentage. but not according to the quiz

  14. Gadfly

    What’s wrong with Kansas?

    Don’t you mean what’s the matter with Kansas?

  15. IntraveneousWoodChipper

    “In its rush to claim the high ground in our roiling national conversation about harassment, the Democratic Party has implemented a zero tolerance standard,” Ramsey said in a statement Friday. “For me, that means a vindictive, terminated employee’s false allegations are enough for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) to decide not to support our promising campaign. We are in a national moment where rough justice stands in place of careful analysis, nuance and due process.”

    ^^^Actual quote from a female Democratic political candidate.

    So much schadenfreude.

    1. Sean

      So much schadenfreude.

      Its fucking awesome.

    2. Breet Pharara

      I didn’t think the schadenfreude from election night could be topped, but we’re getting close. In their hatred of Trump the proggies are making so many stupid mistakes. “I know, Russia. Let’s tie Trump to Russia.” *info about Clinton and press ties to Russia during election come out* “Okay, remember grabbing by the pussy. Let’s go with that.” *sexual misconduct by Dems comes to light* rinse, repeat.

      1. You don’t fight well if you’re in a blind rage.

      2. Yesterday a Politico editor tweeted that a friend of hers used to watch Trump Jr atbdaycare when he was three and he said “fuck you, bitch” When she tried to move his mat. She presented this as legitimate news and said “this is for you” to get friend about a story where Trump Jr was going to speak to the senate intel committee.

        They’ve fucking lost it.

        1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

          I saw that. It’s actually sad how deluded they have become.

        2. Just Say’n

          Reporter: My brother’s ex-girlfriend once said that she knew a guy whose mom use to do some accounting for this real estate developer who once worked with Trump and he said that Trump is a jerk

          Editor: Get an anonymous source to confirm the story and we’ll print it

          Reporter: Can I just be the anonymous source and someone else write it?

          Editor: That works too

          1. Nephilium

            Um, Trump’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw him pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

          2. That’s close to what I said to the Politico editor!

            https://twitter.com/sloopyinca/status/941463539532869632

    3. juris imprudent

      So much schadenfreude.

      It is rich; which alcoholic beverage best accompanies that?

      1. Sean

        Bourbon

  16. Gilmore

    I was forced to touch Dustin Hoffman’s feet

    Sexual harassment gets more creative every day

    1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      “I was in a state of shock, not knowing what to do,” she said. “He kept saying, ‘You know I am naked. You know I am naked. If you look, you will see I am naked.”

      Wut?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        He was just rehearsing for Little Big Rain Man

      2. Gilmore

        3 o’clock, time for wapner, i get my underwear at k mart

    2. Well, when the feet are covered in strawberry preserves and he’s jacking off, then I think her point is valid.

      1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

        That image…..*shudders*

      2. Gilmore

        maybe. i also think most 16yr old girls are bigger and stronger than Dustin Hoffman.

    3. What the hell is wrong with these people? You get famous so it’s easy to get laid! Why resort to shit like this?

      1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Thats what I cant fathom. YOU CAN PAY HOOKERS, you freaking douchebags. Why would you ever even buy another woman. drink, much less perv on teenagers.

      2. Because it’s not about the sex. It’s about humiliating someone else and forcing them to do what you want because your self-esteem is so low you think this is the way everybody has sex and relationships.

        Most of these people are broken human beings lacking any real self-esteem or consideration for others. They trade in power. And exerting power over others is a whole lot more rewarding to them than exchanging genuine affection.

        1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

          I’d never thought of it that way, but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Normal peoples’ brains don’t work in the way these people behave, so attempting to discern their reasoning by normal standards won’t work.

          That’s heavy stuff.

        2. Tulip

          That’s why they fake emotion for a living.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        Some of these people are incredibly poorly adjusted, and like to see what they can get away with. It’s not limited to sexual behavior.

        I forgot which train wreck it was, but she used to amuse herself by putting out her cigarettes (by dropping them into other people’s expensive drinks) at clubs. It’s a truly pathetic and pitiful existence.

        1. So combining you and Sloop’s points confirms what we’ve known all along;

          https://pics.me.me/youll-never-find-a-more-wretched-hive-ofscum-and-villainy-28371228.png

          1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

            Don’t forget though, those scumbags also happen to be our moral and intellectual superiors!

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            MATT DAMON!

    4. Playa Manhattan

      “A playwright who says Dustin Hoffman exposed himself to her and had her massage his feet in a hotel room when she was 16 said Friday that she spent years in guilty silence and took pains to not dress suggestively”

      So… close-toed shoes?

  17. The Late P Brooks

    We are in a national moment where rough justice stands in place of careful analysis, nuance and due process.

    Live by the witch hunt…

    1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      Exactly.

  18. Gilmore

    Chinese military: prize loyalty above all other credentials

    1. Gilmore

      British Military: have weird fetish

        1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

          Would the nun with the blunt.

          1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            Maybe I can get Crusty to wingman for me.

        1. Are you trying to get more HM links? ’cause this is how you get more HM links.

        2. robc

          That is the pseudonym of the creator(s).

  19. Just Say’n

    I can understand why Paul Ryan might be interested in retiring. I imagine having to deal with the president is probably challenging.

    Telephone conversation overheard between Trump and Ryan:

    Ryan: Hello, Mr. President

    Trump: Paul, I need you to push through that kangaroo bill

    Ryan: Do you mean the tax bill?

    Trump: No. That bill about kangaroos

    Ryan: I’m sorry I don’t follow

    Trump: You wouldn’t. I’m very smart. Some have said maybe even the smartest president of all time. That’s what they say

    Ryan: I’m sorry, what are we talking about?

    Trump: You know Paul, if you had been my VP instead of that loser Romney’s- you might be sitting here in the oval office right now

    Ryan: Ok

    Trump: Oh, I got to go, my show’s on. Just remember what I said

    Ryan: Sir, I’m not sure what…

    *click*

  20. But the NFL is doing fine, no problem… pay no attention to that man behind the curtain…

    https://wtop.com/washington-redskins/2017/12/see-redskins-cheap-tickets-low-6-saturdays-game/

    1. Drake

      If it’s on here, I’ll watch for a minute just to see how carefully the camera work avoids crowd shots.

    2. creech

      Those tickets are way overpriced.

    3. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      They do suck something awful. Kirk Cousins is about to get paaaaid something fierce as a free agent. He could probably buy out the tickets to their whole stadium at those rates.

    4. Lachowsky

      I don’t know if you can blame all the nfl troubles on the player protests. I’m sure that has something to do with it. I have never been a big NFL fan but I used to watch it more than I do now. The games seem have no flow anymore. Entirely too much instant replay. Too many breaks. Too many penalties. commercials are too long (this coming from someone who dvrs and fast forward through what little tv i watch) I’m sure it’s a combination of all of the above.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        We blame Joe Buck.

      2. SP

        We blame everything and everyone with the exception of Tony Romo. I never liked Tony Romo (it didn’t help that he played for Dallas), but he is doing an excellent job as a color commentator. Who knew?

        1. Lachowsky

          SP, I understand that you are wise in the way of cricuts. My wife wants one to do hobby stuff. I’m going to buy one thus week for her. What’s the best model?

      3. Breet Pharara

        When you look at something as big as the NFL and want to blame every problem on one specific thing, generally your letting your biases get in the way. There are dozens of potential reasons for the troubles: too many penalties, bad reffing, stars retiring, cable cutting, too much exposure, politics, ect. There are more, those are just the ones off the top of my head. If someone says its because of the protests I roll my eyes. If someone says its not because of the protests I also roll my eyes.

        1. Drake

          The product was already weak, the games slow and boring, the stadiums too expensive (tickets, parking, concessions). When the players decided to tell the fans how much they hate them, it was the last straw.

          1. Breet Pharara

            I go to Northwestern games often, and because it’s fucking Northwestern, they aren’t always televised nationally. Those are the best games. Seriously, taking out even half of the commercial breaks in any football game, pro of college, makes watching the games seem less like a chore. That’s my biggest issue, though I’d be lying if the corrupt commissioner and the idiots who think pissing off half the country is okay didn’t play a role.

          2. trshmnstr

            They need to take a page from soccer and racing. Put more of the advertising on the screen during the game and shorten the commercials by 1/3

        2. thepasswordispassword

          “The Troubles”
          Hey leave the fighting Irish out of it this time.

      4. JaimeRoberto

        I’ve been watching less for a combination of reasons. 1) My team is the Niners and they suck. 2) The game is too slow. Kickoff, commercial, review, 2 minute warning, injury. Play the damn game. 3) The CTE stuff weighs on my conscience somewhat. I love a big hit, but when I see a guy lying motionless on the ground I feel kind of guilty. 4) The flag stuff. Not so much that they are protesting. It’s more that commentators won’t shut up about it. 5) Chris Collinsworth won’t shut up.

        1. MikeS

          #metoo X 5

          Did you see that the Niners recently gave money to support gun control?

          Also; G-d I hate Collinsworth.

          1. JaimeRoberto

            Yeah I think I saw something about that too. And now the local papers are trying to turn me off on the Warriors by asking Steve Kerr to comment on every political issue. After decades as a suffering Warriors fan I finally have something to cheer about, and they gotta get into politics.

  21. mexican sharpshooter

    Cell phones added to the list of products known to cause cancer in California.

    One time at Disneyland I had my youngest in an infant carrier. I placed my phone in a pouch that was positioned behind his back. Some lady stopped me to inform me that was bad for my son because…..

    I actually ignored her because I was holding up the line.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Disneyland causes cancer. And measles.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Unlike children from California, mine are up to date on their shots.

      2. Mad Scientist

        And bed bugs!

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Social engineering

    Early versions of the House and Senate bills roughly doubled the standard tax deduction, to $12,000 for individuals and $24,000 for couples. A higher standard deduction means fewer taxpayers will itemize their deductions on their tax returns, reducing the incentive to give to charities. Currently, only taxpayers who itemize — meaning, they detail gifts to charity and other spending on their returns — may deduct contributions.

    “The nonprofit sector is alarmed by the current state of the tax bill,” said Michael Thatcher, chief executive of Charity Navigator, a charity rating website. The change in the standard deduction is “the biggest cause of concern,” he said.

    Absent the tax code, no one would donate to charity. No one would buy a house, or invest in capital equipment, or conduct research and development….

    1. You didn’t build that.

    2. Just Say’n

      Such a stupid argument they’re making here.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t agree with making non profit donations deductible.

      1. RAHeinlein

        I don’t agree with most non-profits having any tax-favored status.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          That too

        2. I do. And I think it should be easier to form a NP Corp and comply with the current NP standards.
          The more money kept from government and put in the hands of private charities the better.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Let’s compromise. Any non profit that takes so much as a nickel in contracts or subsidies from the government loses their tax free status.

          2. Agreed. Carried. And passed without objection.

          3. Grumbletarian

            ::runs off to sign a billion $0.04 federal contracts::

          4. The Last American Hero

            So you’d prefer that the programs be administered by government bureaucrats with their fat salaries and benefits than a nonprofit that underpays their staff and offers crap benefits?

    4. Gadfly

      An alternate way of looking at this is that now people will feel free to double their donations because they won’t have to keep up with receipts and such to support itemization yet still receive the break. Less paperwork = less hassle = more action.

    5. thepasswordispassword

      How many people don’t bother donating because itemizing is a hassle that might not actually save them any money over the standard deduction anyways? I know people who actually rationalize this.

  23. RegicidalManiac

    OT bragging:

    Got my final score back for the GMAT – 730 overall, with a 6 on the essay. MBA applications here I come!

    1. Just Say’n

      Congrats. Good scores. Where are you applying?

      1. RegicidalManiac

        Wisconsin, Chicago (a major reach), Michigan (in before Sloopy arrives to berate me for even considering it), and IE in Madrid in case Spain doesn’t descend into another civil war.

        1. No London School of Economics?

          1. RegicidalManiac

            I actually did send them a copy of my scores, but I’m still not sure if I want to go there or not. Between it not being an MBA as such and also London being one of the most surveilled places on the planet, the cons do build up a bit.

          2. But Enough About Me

            True, but a couple of friends of mine who went there for their MBAs said that the real value of LSE is in all the contacts you can make while you’re there. My friends have been working those contacts for the last quarter-century to their benefit.

          3. RegicidalManiac

            That is an excellent point that just convinced me to put up with the absurd surveillance in London in favor of being a corporate overlord.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          May as well throw ESADE in there too.

        3. JaimeRoberto

          Nice. My GMAT is what got me into Chicago, and your score is better than mine, so it might not be the reach you think it is.

          1. peachy rex

            We can always use more libertarians in Hyde Park.

    2. I have no idea what those numbers mean, but congrats!

      1. Playa Manhattan

        The syphilis is in remission.

    3. Tonio

      Congratulations.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I… uh… got my PSA test numbers back

      1. No semen analysis results?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Present and accounted for is all they would tell me

  24. The Late P Brooks

    I know they sold it. It was in demand, which is why I reserved it in the first place.

    What, specifically, was this highly coveted conveyance?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yugo

    2. Playa Manhattan

      SUV that has both 4WD and 3rd row seats.

      1. Lachowsky

        http://imgur.com/1lMdv2s

        I’m the one who bought it out from under you playa.

      2. Tundra

        G-Wagon doesn’t have a third row.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          And it’s also not made by Toyota. Strike two.

          1. Gilmore

            next you’re going to tell me it doesn’t even have neon underlighting, or a horn that plays “Push It” by Salt ‘n Peppa

            i mean, why not just get a station wagon

          2. KSuellington

            It’s either the Explorer, Pathfinder or Pilot, correct?

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Both the 4Runner and the Highlander have 3rd row, but they’re hard to find in 4WD.

          4. RAHeinlein

            Please say Landcruiser…

          5. Lachowsky

            Really? I just did a quick search of the toyota dealer nearest me and most of the highlanders they had on the lot were 4wd. That must be a regional thing.

          6. Tundra

            Definitely. They pretty much only sell 4wd here.

          7. thepasswordispassword

            Looking at the local inventory I didn’t know they made those without 4WD

          8. The Last American Hero

            It’s a minivan. He’s just calling it an SUV to save face.

          9. mexican sharpshooter

            Just re-purpose a school bus like the Partridge Family. #problemsolved

          10. The Last American Hero

            Or like Horny Mike from Count’s Customs.

      3. Mad Scientist
        1. Tundra

          Would.

        2. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin
        3. Dr Mossy Lawn

          You do not want one of those. Top speed: 89 km/h

          A friend of mine had a 406, with a number of attachments. Good for slow off-roading. Loading, plowing, digging etc.. not a replacement for a tractor/loader/backhoe.

          He bought a 19′ roll back truck to be able to take the Mog to places at highway speeds.

    1. I wonder if that 20 minutes of adrenaline fueled insanity is worth spending the rest of his life in prison.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        It’s Baltimore. Probation.

    2. thepasswordispassword

      Thumbhole stocks are silly.

  25. CNN creams its pants imagining all the potential Senate pickups for Dems cuz ROY MOORE.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/15/politics/next-alabama-states/index.html

    1. Yet they still haven’t reported on Gloria Alllred’s daughter offering to pay anybody that would accuse trump of harassment.

    2. Gadfly

      Yeah, because a bad senate candidate who loses a safe seat totally dooms the party in the next election. Oh, wait, that’s not how it works CNN. The Rs had this same thing happen 5 years ago, and it in no way stopped them from capturing the Senate 3 years ago. Try harder.

  26. Michael

    Cell phones added to the list of products known to cause cancer in California. Which is why I only use mine outside of California.

    From the totally scholarly (and not hysterical propaganda at all) thesis linked in the article, here are the safe mobile device usage guidelines presented by renowned expert Dr. Raymond Neutra, MD, MPH, DrPH:

    He presented the following precautionary recommendations:

    • Keep cell phone off most of the time
    • Use ear piece or speaker function
    • Place on table 3 feet away before turning on
    • Write down phone messages
    • Return calls, then turn off
    • Keep it off in bus when others might be exposed

    Additionally, if Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, seek shelter and cover head.

    1. Michael

      (First sentence was supposed to have em tags. Oops.)

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The California cancer commission had to designate something new as cancer causing or they were at risk of seeming useless.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      That dude is senile.

    4. I carry my phone around in my pocket all day and now my balls turned green! If only Kalifornia had warned me sooner!

    5. Old Man With Candy

      I would ask Dr. Dr. Dr. Neutra to write down the Maxwell equations in Heaviside form, and use them to calculate penetration depth at 2.4 GHz. I bet you’d get a deer-in-headlight look.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dude, my wifi gave me rabies.

        1. J. Frank Parnell

          Overhead power lines turned me into a newt.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        Oh, also, +1 Chuck McGill.

      3. You said “penetration”. Hehehehe.

    6. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Along those lines, I know for a fact that electronics technicians in the Air Force would sit beside high power low frequency beacons to warm themselves up back in the fixtures and sixties. These were high enough power to draw an arc off of with a shovel.

  27. Gadfly

    Pointless suggestion time:

    I would propose a slight modification of the handy drop-down content organization tabs at the top of the page (which I really like, BTW): move the “KHAAAAAANNN!!!” topic to be a sub-topic under the “Entertainment” topic, move the “Jews” topic to be a sub-topic under the “Religion” topic, and move the “Sugar Free” topic to be a sub-topic under the “Sexuality” topic.

    1. OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED REJECTS YOUR IDEA INFIDEL! REPORT TO BEHEADING IMMEDIATELY!

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Preferably by rail car?

    2. SP

      Well. Many of those topics and subtopics have been added willy-nilly by various writers and editors, who do not know how to nest categories. And I lack the time and interest to clean up after these people. I’m not their Mom! (OK, except, Webdominatrix. I actually *am* her Mom.)

      1. Gadfly

        That’s totally fair. I figured it would probably not be worth the effort, but as I’ve currently got nothing better to do I commented anyway. 🙂

      2. Breet Pharara

        With that kind of service, there’s no way I’m paying the extra $100 to my ISP to unlock this site once the NN apocalypse really kicks in.

  28. Rhywun

    California has 4GB of voter information being held for bitcoin ransom

    I looks like they’re basically holding a phone book ransom. Devious!

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Le Fatte

  29. Lachowsky

    http://5newsonline.com/2017/12/15/millennial-lawmakers-in-arkansas-form-new-legislative-caucus/

    “They’ve built this organization nationwide in really impressive fashion,” Sabin said. “And their goal has been to capture the energy of the millennial generation to try to bring a new approach to politics here in the United States, which is something that I think we desperately need.”

    I’m not sure what these people are after, but any time I hear bi-partisan or cooperative in reference to lawmakers, I immediately assume it’s something I don’t want.

    1. Sean

      I like their fake news poll on the side bar.

    2. Conquest’s 2nd law and all that.

  30. juris imprudent

    Argh – never drive in the mid-Atlantic states with even a slight coating of snow on the ground. Next time I’ll just find a nice bar to kill an hour or two.

    1. Lachowsky

      Here in rural arkansas, snow is a big problem. We only get enough to accumulate every other year or so. There is no equipment in place to clear the roads and most of us Arkansans have very little little snow driving experience. I have know people who have moved here from further north and bragged about hiw driving in the snow is no problem. It may be no problem up north where everyone knows how to do it and the roads get cleared. It’s a totally different situation here. A heavy snow will usually shut down most businesses and schools until it’s gone.

      1. Gilmore

        It snowed in Nashville my freshman year of college. it was sort of hilarious watching the emergency broadcasts on the news. it was literally a light-dusting, and everyone was acting like it was an alien invasion, and made faces of shock and terror when i was like, “yeah, i’ll drive to the store and get beer”. there were like a dozen accidents on the hill next to my dorm in a 24 hour period. everyone slammed on the breaks and ended up drifting into parked cars. girls walked around arm in arm in groups because they thought they’d slip and break their necks.

        1. Lachowsky

          The very first time I drove in snow, I think I was nineteen, I put my truck in a ditch.

          I lost traction on a bend in the road. I immediately hit my brakes and started try to steer. Very predictably, I put my truck right in the ditch. I learned a lesson that day about driving in the snow.

        2. SimonD

          We had a situation like that in Fort Worth during my freshman year. It snowed about 1/2 inch. I woke up at about 5:30 (I was a farm kid), got a cup of coffee and stood by the nearest stop light to watch the cars run into each other (which they did every time the light changed). Once some of the others woke up, I drove a few of us to the mall and did donuts in the parking lot.

          The college cancelled classes for two days…over a half-inch of snow.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        There is no equipment in place to clear the roads

        Sounds like a dude with a truck and a plow could make a killing.

        1. Mad Scientist

          That sounds like free market anarchy!

          Only the one true state can certify plowing professionals.

        2. Lachowsky

          I have used my tractor and a box blade to clear my dirt road to the highway before. I didn’t charge anyone anything.

          /bad libertarian.

        3. Pan Zagloba

          Only if he has a leather jacket and a catchy song.

    2. Nephilium

      A couple of years back, my company’s Cleveland, Georgia location closed due to snow. They sent us a picture of the flurry, with the only accumulation being a slight dusting that was blowing around on the road. We sent back a picture from our Cleveland, Ohio location with snow piles in our parking lot over our cars.

      1. Left Hand of Radar

        Driving in snow is not difficult. Here are the simple rules: 1) Slow the fuck down. 2) Don’t fucking tail gait. 3) Easy on the brakes. 4) Do not make unnecessary lane changes. 5) (and most important) IF IDIOTS BEHIND YOU WANT TO DRIVE AT SPEEDS UNSAFE FOR CONDITIONS, LET ‘EM PASS. You’ll see them in a ditch a mile or so later– which is immensely satisfying.

        1. DOOMco

          3) Easy on the brakes.

          the other day I dealt with this. the lady in front of me just stopped in the middle of 116. there was a first responder coming the other way, but no room to pull off the road. so she just stopped. I couldnt see the EMS guy because it was on a small crest. the rear end of my pickup want sideways while I tried to deal with it.
          everyone then thought the road was much slicker than it was, she just stopped on a dime and I had little option but to follow suit.
          always leave room.

        2. trshmnstr

          1) Slow the fuck down.

          This includes steering wheel inputs. The fastest way to end up in a ditch is to put large inputs into the steering wheel.

          1. Left Hand of Radar

            Amen on the steering inputs, trshmnstr. Actually, when I look at what I wrote it’s basically the way I drive at all times. 28 years and hundreds of thousands of miles (driving the tour van, etc.) and I’ve never had an accident. Automobiles– like firearms– can be very dangerous if not handled properly.

  31. RoadSplosives

    For those of you following at home, my work/life saga continues. Got a call at work from the guy who offered me a job Tues. He is writing up the job req now.

    Honestly don’t know what to do. I feel very mixed up.

    1. Gilmore

      have you already worked through all the “take job, sleep with boss, sue company for sexual harassment and retire rich”-scenarios?

    2. Lachowsky

      Is this the same guy who hit on you?

    3. RAHeinlein

      First question – do you actually want the position (separate this question from other entanglements)?

      Second question – do you want to move and is a move feasible?

      If no to either of these questions, no need to struggle through the other issues.

    4. We all make mistakes. Give him a pass but let him know if he ever, EVER, tried anything like that again, you’ll take him to the cleaners.

      And get it in writing.

    5. juris imprudent

      San Diego? If the offer is any less than $140K turn it down. You won’t be able to afford living there – and I’m talking a very middle-class existence, not fancy-shmancy.

    6. Don’t do it. The guy is unprofessional; doesn’t matter if he was drunk he should know better than to proposition a potential employee. Think of the kind of shit he’ll do if you’re there all the time. And you’d have to uproot your life. Unless it’s the greatest job on Earth, I would pass.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        In vino veritas.

        1. Gadfly

          Which reminds me to ask, do you compose the thicc posts in vino or are you sober when you create those emoji alphabet soups?

          No judgment, just curiosity.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Sober as a judge.

          2. Waterhouse enters a tavern but immediately backs out of it. Looking into the place over his companion’s shoulder, Enoch glimpses a white-wigged Judge on a massive chair at the head of the tap-room, a jury empaneled on plank benches, a grimy rogue being interrogated. “Not a good place for a pair of idlers,” Waterhouse mumbles.

            “You hold judicial proceedings in drinking-houses?”

            “Poh! That judge is no more drunk than any magistrate of the Old Bailey.”

            “It is perfectly logical when you put it that way.”

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            Umm, that impresses me?

        2. But Enough About Me

          ^^This indeed.

      2. Tundra

        I’m with Q (and not just because we don’t want to lose you). This has icky written all over it.

        Lotsa gigs out there.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          This, the Guy is nothing but trouble, walk away

      3. But Enough About Me

        Seconded.

        Economics?: I’ve got friends who live near SD in Olivenhain; the only way they can afford a good life is that he’s a full-partner fund manager.

        Relationship with superior?: Oh yeah. He’s lookin’ for a relationship, alright. In fact, he’s probably very interested in finding out if you can work well under him. IYKWIMAITTYD.

        Not.
        Worth.
        It.

    7. mexican sharpshooter

      To my understanding of the situation this requires a cross country move. If you’re not up for it, its probably for the best to say so now, so that he doesn’t waste his time.

      1. MikeS

        Yeah. If this was across town it would be different. Half way across the country…you better be DAMN SURE you want this. And it doesn’t sound like you are.

    8. Scruffy Nerfherder

      What does your significant other think about it?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Based on past posts here, he’s either making cocktails for hayekplosives’ return or at band practice.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Lolz. He is actually currently looking up housing in San Diego.

          I have splashed cold water on the notion ever since getting back (yesterday) but he is California dreaming. If need be, I will whip out the nuclear option by telling him about the “other” proposition, but I’d rather just let it fade away and get back to our content life in the frozen north.

          It’s kind of evil to offer a job to a Minnesotan during december in California.

          1. DenverJ

            You know, the job market in Denver is cray cray and it’s going to be 63 degrees and (of course) sunny tomorrow. Colorado gets more days of sunlight a year than Florida, and our idea of cold would make a Midwesterner laugh in derision. Housing is expensive, but not San Diego expensive.

    9. DANGER! DANGER HAYEKSPLOSIVES!!!

      1. But Enough About Me

        I knew it.

        Swissie’s a robot.

        1. Oh come now, does that look like Swiss craftsmanship?!

          *kicks sprocket under desk*

          1. But Enough About Me

            Swissie’s fellows-in-arms during his last tour: “D00d, you’re a machine!”

            Swissie’s thought-process during this time: “If you only knew . . . “

          2. trshmnstr

            *OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED beams with pride at the robot built by his son, Clock Boy*

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            Clock Boy: DADDY! ALLOLOLOLOOLO!

          4. Yusef drives a Kia

            Brad in IT: I showed him how, remember? I got an hours OT for it, INFIDELS PAY you said

      2. RoadSplosives

        😀

    10. Bob

      Take the job. I’m sure the list of people he wants to fuck but can’t is long. Making a pass at someone is pretty meaningless.

      1. trshmnstr

        Making a pass at someone is pretty meaningless.

        Yeaaaaaaaah, I’m gonna have to call bullshit on this. If I made a pass at anybody my company was trying to recruit, I’d be out on my ass faster than I could type “#hertoo”. Not only that, but making a pass at a random girl in a bar is very different from making a pass at your married acquaintance that you’re trying to hire. Dude mixes work and pleasure, and he also has no sense of boundaries, both socially and morally.

        1. RoadSplosives

          Well put.

    11. trshmnstr

      IMO, the dude hitting on you made the decision easy. If you take this job, you’re just asking to be sexually harassed by this guy. If I were in your shoes, I’d tell him where he could stick the offer and be done with this whole charade.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        As soon as you see a Red Flag, stop! if you can clear it up, great, if not BAIL!
        Mahan’s book on Business

    12. RoadSplosives

      You guys are the best.

      And totally right, if course. I feel like I was offered the outstretched blackgloved hand of the Dark Side of the Force. Power and glory, but at what cost?

      Thanks for helping keep me grounded.I

      I will remain Galadriel.

      1. DOOMco

        s offered the outstretched blackgloved hand of the Dark Side of the Force.

        they said “Join me!” in a deep voice?

        1. hayeksplosives

          More of a baritone, with an Aussie accent.

    13. Suthenboy

      Sound advice from someone who has been there more than once:

      You know that little voice in the back of your head? The one that is making you feel mixed up now…the one that is warning you there could be trouble ahead?

      Most of the time when you dont listen to it you regret it. Not always, but 99 out of 100 you will.

      You will never be sorry for listening to it, even if it was wrong.

      Since adopting that view about 20 years ago I have had very smooth sailing in my life. My life is calm, quiet and peaceful. Nobody is mad at me, nobody is suing me and vice versa. Cops and courts, civil and otherwise, dont even know I exist. My phone doesnt ring with people trying to dump their problems on me. In addition to all of that I am amazed at how much money I have because it isnt pissed away on nonsense.
      Sometimes bad decisions dont necessarily lead directly to trouble but can lead you into situations where other troubles manifest.

      My advice to people inexperienced in trekking around in the woods when I am guiding them – “Look at the ground before you put your foot down every single time you take a step. Never take a step without being sure you aren’t going to step on a snake. Every single step, every time. Be certain.”

      1. Suthenboy

        I should add that I would have a lot more money if I had a dollar for every time after I emphatically gave that advice I had to interrupt them while they yammered on with “You are standing in fire ants.”

        Don’t be that person.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Yeah, I listened to the still, small voice. It’s amazing how tempting temptation can be. But I will stay happily in my little midwestern gig and keep doin’ what I’m doin.

  32. mexican sharpshooter

    No Firearms Friday, so I post this query here.

    Anybody ever handle one of these: S&W 686 Performance Center Snub? Turns out, by January my budget will allow for such a frivolous purchase.

    1. Sean

      I fondled one at the store. It was very nice, but I managed to talk myself out of it based on the price tag.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Yeah, I considered the, “you could just buy a ____, ammo, magazines, a year’s subscription to Huslter, holster, a new hat,” angle.

        My spending habits though tend to favor the, “you have the ____ problem solved–forever.”

        1. Sean

          I impulse bought a Sig Legion 226SA because I could rationalize it as a bad ass range gun. That PC snub…I couldn’t figure out what role it would serve, other than just looking cool. It’s a heavy sucker for ccw and it sure wouldn’t carry as easy as a J frame.

          Now this: https://www.smith-wesson.com/firearms/model-642-0
          Is 1/2 the cost, still a looker and makes a nice carry piece. I like mine a lot. The tuned trigger is noticeably nicer than a standard 642 and it did not have the internal lock.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            That is nice.

    2. juris imprudent

      Nope, just a run of the mill 686, which I do like very much. A Performance Center Snub – is that like a jumbo shrimp?

      1. ^^^This. Awesome gun, but get the 4 inch barrel.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        I like the unfluted cylinder. Trigger is nice. Seems okay for CCW work. It seems more like a jumbo shrimp cocktail + cerveza on a beach in Costa Rica.

        1. MikeS

          I was wondering about the unfluted cylinder; is it purely aesthetics or does it serve a practical purpose?

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            It’s Titanium. I assume its to keep costs down on machining.

          2. MikeS

            Ahh…I missed the part about it being titanium. Yes, machining costs are quite likely why.

          3. juris imprudent

            OK, so carry gun – why not go 340PD? That is fundamentally a carry gun, not a shooter (which is my opinion on the 686). I don’t like guns that try to be hybrids.

    3. Mr Lizard

      TRUE DOMINEERING SPECIES CARRY 6 INCH BARRELS!

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Some of us humans cannot pack a 6″ barreled revolver into a waist band.

        1. MikeS

          ^ This ^ I already have 8 inches in there, there’s just not enough room for 6 more.

          1. That’s what she said.

          2. Mr Lizard

            I set these jokes up for you…and thanks for female mammal boob-focused pics.

          3. juris imprudent

            8 in the front,
            6 in the back.

    4. If you are looking for a compact, carry revolver may I suggest this?

      https://ruger.com/products/lcr/specSheets/5452.html

      A lot cheaper and, IMO, more functional. .327 Fed Mag gets you almost as much stopping power as .357 but with much less recoil.

      1. Tundra

        I shot the .357 when I was shopping. Nice gun, but kind of punishing. This seems better.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Or just stick to .38 or one sort or another.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        This is also being purchased with the wife in mind. I’d prefer a steel frame to soak up the recoil.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Hah! That’s what I was looking at the 686 for, nightstand gun for the missus so the weight/size wasn’t an issue for carry. She went with a P99 instead.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            Well…if I want to carry it, I’m gonna carry it.

    5. Gustave Lytton

      No, but I’ve been eyeing a 686 for years.

      Noticed that all of the photos are facing to the right. Is that so you can’t see the SW lock on the left side of the frame? I thought there were some Performance Center revolvers without that added gimmick.

      1. Sean

        My Talo PC642 was lock free.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Excellent. Wish SW would ditch it on all models.

    6. Suthenboy

      I have a 686 with a 6″ barrel. It is like shooting a 22 rifle accuracy wise. I have a 585 with a 4″ barrel. Both are over 30 years old and work like new. You cant go wrong with that gun but I recommend the longer barrel. A lot of fun to shoot, very accurate and the extra weight tames the recoil nicely.

  33. IntraveneousWoodChipper

    Sitting at B-Dubs having a beer and I look up to see curling on all the big screens.

    I can’t believe that curling is considered an Olympic sport but rugby (15’s: 7’s is the arena football of rugby) make the cut. I understand that it would be hard for some countries to be competitive (finding qualified players for 7’s is easier from a numbers perspective) but it really grinds my gears.

    Also of note: the USA is the defending gold medalist from rugby the last time it was included. USA!

    1. Nephilium

      Wasn’t Rugby in the summer Olympics just a couple of years ago, or was it just exhibition? I remember it being on TV when I grabbed a bite at a bar, and overhearing a nearby group saying that rugby was basically soccer with throwing. I leaned over to say, “It’s more like football without pads.”

    2. MikeS

      Thanks for the heads-up that curling is on! I have no opinion on the rest of the stuff you wrote.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Curling rocks

      1. MikeS

        Careful, everyone may get swept up in curling puns

        1. You had to just slide that in there didn’t you?

      2. straffinrun

        Shuffleboard on ice. If prefer Bocce.

    1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      Lol that was suprisingly tame. But also hilarious

  34. Lachowsky

    http://wgntv.com/2017/12/15/nw-indiana-restaurant-closed-after-customer-finds-cocaine-in-order/

    “A customer discovered cocaine in her take home order last month, and called police.”

    What a bitch. Either do they blow or give it to someone less fortunate the you.

    1. juris imprudent

      People used to believe in pay-it-forward in this country. smh

    2. straffinrun

      Charges have yet to be filed

      Fuck this #Ibelieveher shit. Suspending their license sounds very unfair. Is there proof?

  35. straffinrun

    Exclusive: Prominent lawyer sought donor cash for two Trump accusers

    California lawyer Lisa Bloom’s efforts included offering to sell alleged victims’ stories to TV outlets in return for a commission for herself, arranging a donor to pay off one Trump accuser’s mortgage and attempting to secure a six-figure payment for another woman who ultimately declined to come forward after being offered as much as $750,000, the clients told The Hill.

    1. straffinrun

      I see Drake already linked to this. You guys are all over it. *Goes back to lurking*

  36. KSuellington

    I like this Ajit Pai fellow. The guy has balls. He also knows how to make fun of the NN ejits.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JqONIPwidQw&time_continue=3

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Awesome

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      FOR PRESIDENT! this is the second time i have seen his videos he” awesome

  37. Rufus the Monocled

    I was told at the local alcohol store that the Mondavi vineyards were destroyed in California because of the fire?

    And then he pushed a bottle on me which I bought on principle.

    1. The principle being that it’s alcohol, therefore, you should drink it?

    2. J. Frank Parnell

      I don’t see it on this list.

      Also, Mondavi wines are known by the state of California to cause cancer.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Huh?

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      If it wasn’t Paul Masson you got suckered.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvxwf1jxdaM

    4. juris imprudent

      Which Mondavi? There are two (Robert is the better known one).

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Robert. I sampled it. It was good enough.

  38. straffinrun

    Ron Bailey|12.15.17 @ 5:35PM|#

    MR: Americans have been losing social trust for a while now – my point is that a president who is an enthusiastic liar will not help build social trust back up.

    As the famed economists asks, compared to what, Ron?

    1. Fatty Bolger

      See, that’s what made Obama so wonderful. He wasn’t enthusiastic about it.

    2. Mad Scientist

      Fuck that, Ron. You know what society needs? A healthy distrust of everything government.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      S: As compared to somebody with more credibility, such as Tom Hanks. See my article on the subject here: wwww.reason.archive.notareallinkTOS

    4. trshmnstr

      my point is that a president who is an enthusiastic liar will not help build social trust back up.

      You know what really doesn’t build social trust back up? Being a complicit member of the Prog/Communist propaganda industry and not using every moment in your position to shout down the ideological corruption of your chosen industry.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Hey trash, I just submitted another OMM, this could be fun, no, it is fun, OMM is going places

        1. trshmnstr

          Awesome! Hopefully he gets his own column FOR GLORIOUS JIHAD!!

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Janitor: another cleanup?

    5. Suthenboy

      You know who else doesnt have credibility? Pseudo scientists, government officials and NGOs who have been pushing a discredited scam that is obviously a trojan horse for international socialism. Thats who.

  39. But Enough About Me

    For some reason, y’all are kinda depressing me this P.M. So I’m breaking out a bottle of one of my fave beers of all time — Rodenbach Grand Cru, served, not in a snifter, a tulip or a tumbler, but in a German Kölsch Beer Glass.

    Sublime.

    1. Nephilium

      That is one fantastic sour beer. Enjoy.

      1. But Enough About Me

        Thanks, mang. It does indeed Rock My World. And, weirdly enough, it is the perfect accompaniment to plain’ol’ garden-variety potato chips. Something about the way the sour and salt play off of each other . . .

        1. juris imprudent

          Utz Vinegar & Sea Salt chips with a tuna-melt and a beer, yum.

    2. But Enough About Me

      Goddamn. The longer I sip it, the better it gets!

      1. That Cru is…Grand!

    3. Mad Scientist

      served, not in a snifter, a tulip or a tumbler, but in a German Kölsch Beer Glass.

      IS THAT EVEN LEGAL!?

      1. Nephilium

        He can drink it out of a stange if he wants to. Who am I to judge, I’m generally drinking beers out of a shaker glass unless it’s really special.

        1. But Enough About Me

          It actually does an excellent job of concentrating the bouquet near your nose. Who’d’a thunk it?

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            It’s getting kind of snooty in here.

          2. But Enough About Me

            Only if I accidentally sneeze into the glass.

          3. Mad Scientist

            If you want the nose, drink it out of Daniel Ricciardo’s shoe.

          4. But Enough About Me

            You’re right. That’s some schnozz on that guy.

          5. trshmnstr

            There’s something about racing that attracts large noses.

        2. robc

          I have Willi Beckers for daily drinking.

      2. But Enough About Me

        IS THAT EVEN LEGAL!?

        Probably not in Germany. Thank God it’s made in Belgium.

    4. robc

      RGC is amazing. I am drinking a dirty bast are and am still jealous.

      1. But Enough About Me

        There’s three more in the ‘fridge. Mine, all mine. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

      2. robc

        Fuckin autocorrect

  40. Nephilium

    We are one step closer to a Star Trek future. But I’ll take Scotty’s side.

    1. Rhywun

      “Alcosynth will become the preferred drink, in the same way that I can see – almost within a decade now in the Western world – tobacco and cigarettes will disappear as they’re replaced by electronic cigarettes.”

      Not if synthahol is treated exactly like alcohol just like vaping is treated exactly like smoking it won’t.

    2. DenverJ

      But the country song writers, what about them? Won’t somebody think of the children country song writers?

  41. Private Chipperbot
    1. Nephilium

      I’ve got two more bottles of that sitting in the cellar. Sitting… waiting… taunting…

      1. I was told by more than one very knowledgeable person – Don’t bother cellaring them – they will not improve over time. Enjoy them with friends, or get blasted yourself, at the next opportune time.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          We put some regular KBS away each year and test then against each other. Flavor does change a bit but better to just enjoy.

        2. Nephilium

          As this is the first time I’ve managed to score any bottles, and it fits the criteria of big stout, I’ll be sitting on at least one bottle for a year to see how it changes. At some point, I need to have some friends over to do a vertical tasting of the BA Blackout I’ve got sitting down there.

    2. That CBS is trying to hide the PBR?

      I just had CBS for the first time on Wednesday – very, very, very good. But kind of pricey.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        It’s very good. We are cellaring a bunch of bottles as well.

      2. Private Chipperbot

        And that’s just a PBR glass ? with good beer in it.

    3. But Enough About Me

      Imma envious.

    4. straffinrun

      I can’t drink a picture. Fine, I’ll continue eating these off brand Doritos and wash them down with tap water.

    5. Tundra

      You bastards. I have a game, so I don’t get to imbibe for another five hours.

      1. Mad Scientist

        C’mon, Hanson. Drink!

      2. MikeS

        You don’t drink in your hockey league? I…can’t even…

      3. DOOMco

        I have a game, so I don’t get to imbibe for another five hours.

        because you’re already drunk on cheap whiskey and molson?

        1. Tundra

          Well, duh.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            OFFICE MANAGER Mohammed’s Team doesn’t Drink, and feels every hit,
            0/10 season

    1. Mad Scientist

      That is my kind of hive of scum and villainy.

  42. Gustave Lytton

    So my vet, after many years of being easy to deal with & no problem sending a script to whichever reputable pharmacy I use, is now trying to do the “scare me into buying (hugely marked up) meds from them” routine.

    Idiots. This isn’t my first rodeo. I left the previous vet because of crap like that. Only thing I can think of is change of ownership or management of the practice.

    1. But Enough About Me

      I had a vet who wrote me prescriptions for the dogs to a local compounding pharmacy back when I lived in Edmonton. That guy was the best. Sadly, he went the way of all flesh (he retired), and the vet we moved to wanted to soak us big-time as well. Plus she was into “alternative” veterinary medicine (acupuncture, Reiki, reading my dogs’ chakra, etc.). When she wasn’t being either greedy or loopy, she was actually a pretty good vet, but still way overpriced.

      Our vet in Maple Ridge (just east of Pitt Meadows) is an old-school lady who’s cheap, smart, and no-nonsense. Love her.

      Good vets are gold. Hang onto ’em for dear life.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Thanks for the tip, i’m looking for good one for my Pup, but they act, generic? I want a down to Earth Vet, truth and all

      2. Gustave Lytton

        I know, that’s mainly why I’m annoyed. We’ve been going there for close to ten years now, and usually been quite good but there’s been some little things that individually are nothing, but added together have me questioning whether to stay or start looking again. Hate hate hate thinking about that. Which also annoys me.

  43. Nephilium

    I have decided to go to the proper drink of winter. Irish coffee, made with Bourbon barrel aged coffee from Trader Joe’s, Tullamore Dew, and rich demerara simple syrup. It is delicious.

    1. But Enough About Me

      Demerara simple syrup? That’s . . . genius.

    2. Sean

      Bourbon barrel coffee…I’m intrigued. Sounds delightful.

  44. DOOMco

    Hey Playa! If you find a SUV you want somewhere else, I’ll drive it to you for the cost of gas, some snacks and a flight home.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Cannonball Run!

    2. Mad Scientist

      Now I hope he blows off the SUV and buys a Bitchin’ Camaro from the Bahamas.

      1. DOOMco

        good song.

    3. DOOMco

      That deal is up for anyone, by the way.

      1. straffinrun

        Almost anyone, right? 😉

        1. DOOMco

          I don’t think I can drive a car to you…

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Plane ticket? Japanese girls? Yes you can

          2. DOOMco

            huh. Nevermind Straff! I’ll bring you a not cube car.

  45. straffinrun

    Some thoughts on work life balance and marriage. The wife took maternity leave from her job at one of the behemoth financial banks 8 years ago. When the kid turned 3, she went back to work, but in insurance this time. Five years later and her salary is no where near what it was before, but she keeps putting in the effort. I don’t like dumping the kid in daycare, so I rearranged my schedule and turned down a lot of side contracts in order to take care of the kid. Probably 4:1 in how much time I spend with the kid compared to her. Despite that, I still make double her salary. What irks me is that I could easily make up for her lost salary if she quit, but it’s a point of pride for her to have a full time job. I should’ve laid down the law before we got married, but I it didn’t even cross my mind. To top that off, we don’t even really need the money. If we were poor, I’d understand, but we clear way above our expenses and have since we were married 16 years ago. Am I being supportive or enabling by picking up the slack for what I believe is an irrational decision on her part?

    1. trshmnstr

      Am I being supportive or enabling by picking up the slack for what I believe is an irrational decision on her part?

      IMO, doing things that increase your child’s quality of life is never going to be “enabling”.

    2. Mad Scientist

      Happy wife, happy life. Let her work.

      1. straffinrun

        Been my policy for years. I don’t understand why she would rather work rather than quit or go part time in order to spend more time with her child, especially when she is still in elementary school. But…. it goes back to policy number one.

        1. trshmnstr

          If it’s important to you, make it known to your wife. Perhaps a compromise can be reached?

          One thing that would drive me nuts would be a relationship where I didn’t feel free to express my desires for my family in the presence of my wife. Not saying that’s what you’re describing, but it’s the first thing that pops in my head when I hear “happy wife, happy life.”

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            it’s true though, and a good wife, is Happy to be loved and appreciated, they don’t NEED baubles.
            They dig Baubles, but really want Security for themselves and their progeny, don’t think it’s any different because 2017 or something,People are people

          2. straffinrun

            We can talk about it. My goal is to make it clear that she is missing out on some real important time that she can never get back. That’s her choice. I think it’s a mistake. I’ve left it at that and just take care of the kid. You’re right that it isn’t “enabling” because I’m getting the better end of the bargain.

    3. Suthenboy

      If you dont need the money then no amount of extra money is worth the time you are spending with your child now.

      1. straffinrun

        Yep. She doesn’t get that.

  46. MikeS

    ‘Jingle Bells’ rooted in racism, Boston University professor says

    “Although ‘One Horse Open Sleigh,’ for most of its singers and listeners, may have eluded its racialized past and taken its place in the seemingly unproblematic romanticization of a normal ‘white’ Christmas, attention to the circumstances of its performance history enables reflection on its problematic role in the construction of blackness and whiteness in the United States,” she wrote.

    Wut?

    1. straffinrun

      Links are up!

    2. Suthenboy

      Gibberish.

    3. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      “seemingly unproblematic romanticization of a normal ‘white’ Christmas“

      Christ, what an asshole.

  47. Private Chipperbot

    https://imgur.com/gallery/ChpVm

    Lucifer’s Cuvee. 2015 bottle. Bourbon barrel. Chocolate flavor gone. Didn’t age well.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Probably stored wrong before you bought it, bummer for sure

  48. Festus

    Indignities and Depravities is my job description. I’m a janitor for a large Public Sector workforce. Two sites, one more gross than the other.

    1. Suthenboy

      “Indignities and Depravities”

      Sounds like a general description of life to me or a really good title for a novel.

  49. Sean

    Ugh. Company holiday party tomorrow. Non alcoholic venue because the boss is back on the wagon.
    ?