Substitute morning links

While sloopy is playing golf confined to his sickbed, I’ll jump in for some quick links before getting back to real work.

I spend a lot of time ridiculing empty symbolism, but this one might be the emptiest. I had to laugh and immediately felt guilty about that.

The Net Neutrality pants-shitting continues; showboating AGs hardest hit. I like the way the “reporter” didn’t even pretend to his own neutrality.

Best. Excuse. Ever.

Texan beaten by armed masked men. Police chief defends perps.

Fat Boy kills Big Hat.

There really was no other choice for music this morning.

 

 

Comments

764 responses to “Substitute morning links”

  1. Just a thought not a sermon
    1. PieInTheSKy

      hating people is problematic

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        It’s the kind of problem that’s nice to have, though.

        1. AlexinCT

          That’s why they ca; this shit first world problems…

          Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn’t send these snowflakes to live in the third world for a year or so. If they survive they can come back with a bit of perspective and be less of a bunch of douchebags.

          1. RBS

            If they survive they can come back with a bit of perspective and be less of a bunch of douchebags

            Have you ever met a Peace Corps veteran?

          2. In this survival test, they’re not allowed to bring any supplies or get them shipped in.

          3. mexican sharpshooter

            Have you ever met a Peace Corps veteran?

            You might be surprised. Two of my cousins did the Peace Corps…thing. Both hard core lefties. One of them though got married to an ((actuary)) in the pro sports industry. A real asshole, but she’s toned a lot of that stuff down.

            The other was sent to China. After that the stupidest thing she’s said or done since then is wear one of those fake mustaches as a social experiment and post a Krugabe article..

          4. AlexinCT

            Mexican beat me to it. I know some Peace Corpsers, and quite a few of them started of proggie nuts and stayed proggie nuts despite their experiences. Hearing them explain away some of the most horrible and evil shit so they can stay beholden to their dogma makes for a lot of sadness.

      2. What can I say? I’m a martyr to it, but I try to make the best of things.

    2. RBS

      A few popular memes have captured the dubious moral of Rudolph’s story.

      Oh goddammit.

    3. Certified Public Asshat

      Twitter users have pointed out that male reindeer lose their antlers just before winter, while females keep theirs until spring. Since Rudolph and his contemporaries are almost always illustrated with antlers, they may be women whose labor is erased by the 1964 film, which has all the lady reindeer watching in awe as their men pull Santa’s sleigh. (Others have suggested that Rudolph still identifies as male and is transgender.

      What the fuck.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Food blogger Angela Davis recently likened Rudolph to black women voters who reliably turn out Democratic victories across the country, even as prominent liberals and party bigwigs push a swing away from “identity politics” and toward a renewed focus on the “white working class.” That is, the analogy suggests, Santa and the black-nosed reindeer are content to belittle Rudolph’s protests for fair treatment until they need him to save their end-of-year project.

        Ok, I kinda like that one.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Food blogger?

          Professional Fatty.

    4. Gilmore

      We Need To Talk About Your Ad Blocker.

      I’m starting to feel like anything starting with “We need to talk” deserves an immediate punch in the face

      1. We Need To Talk About Your Ad Blocker.

        My ad blocker is one of two things allowing me to browse the internet in peace – the other is the script blocker.

        Now if you sold something I would be willing to pay for, I might give you money. I do not want adverts in my face, and do not see them as an acceptable means of financing.

    5. wdalasio

      Meh. I have made somewhat similar points, myself. I’ve always comforted myself with the notion that Rudolph responded with a sufficiently exploitive counter-offer. Something to the effect of “Guide you sleigh, eh? Hmmm…..I guess insults and games aside, my red nose is pretty valuable. I mean it would really suck if you weren’t able to deliver all the toys to all the good little boys and girls this year. It would make you look like a real schmuck. So, yeah, I’ll guide your sleigh tonight. And every Christmas night. For the next ten years. I want an exclusive contract. And I get full staffing control over the rest of the team. And over the life of the contract, I want a staff of elves assigned as my gophers…..”

  2. Trials and Trippelations

    Oh man I wanted to be first 🙁

    1. *pats T&T on the shoulder* There, there.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        If he pats you on both shoulders, you should start to worry.

    2. Tundra

      You coulda been somebody!

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      If you would have commented on a story, you could have argued for it.

      1. Trials and Trippelations

        Due to the end of NN, I can’t read the links

        1. …Wait, there are links?!

          1. MikeS

            Yeah. Down in the comments area there’s a bunch of ’em.

  3. Glitterstorm

    Yessss we made it Friday

    1. Glitterstorm

      To
      Fuck

      1. You wait for fridays to fornicate?

        To each their own, I guess.

      2. Just a thought not a sermon

        No, Friday is not Hump Day

        1. Gordilocks

          EVERY DAY HUMP DAY FOR STEVE SMITH.

          AND BY HUMP, MEAN ….

          1. AVOLITIONAL COITUS!

            /PROFESSOR STEPHEN SMYTHE

          2. Gordilocks

            Six of one, half a dozen of STEVE SMITH

          3. commodious spittoon

            STEVE SMITH MUCH BIGGER THAN HALF DOZEN

            SHIT LIKE THIS IS HOW RUMORS GET STARTED

        2. DOOMco

          according to my girlfriend, on the other hand

    2. Lachowsky

      Yat Friday! Only 5 more days til the weekend.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        Yat Friday? Is that some sort of Yiddish holiday term?

        1. scooter glibby

          Mazel Tov!

    3. PieInTheSKy

      wow already… it’s only Tuesday in Romania.

      1. Suthenboy

        Last tuesday, or next tuesday?

        1. PieInTheSKy

          next. If you want a stock tip…

          1. Private Chipperbot
          2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            We can’t, we missed it.

          3. Nephilium

            I saw that movie… it doesn’t end well.

            Man, are you hungry? I haven’t eaten since later this afternoon.

          4. PieInTheSKy

            I remember liking this one

            http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2397535/

            Liked Primer as well. Hated Looper

          5. Nephilium

            Haven’t seen that one, I’ll need to throw it into the queue. I didn’t mind Looper, but I don’t think I’ve rewatched it once.

          6. Count Potato

            Here is a nice simple chart showing the plot of Primer:

            https://theescapepod.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/primer-chart.jpg

  4. I spend a lot of time ridiculing empty symbolism, but this one might be the emptiest.

    Wait… if you can get out of North Korea, why on earth would you go to Gaza?

    1. Private Chipperbot

      Still an improvement? Then again, being stranded on a raft in the Pacific would be an improvement.

      1. AlexinCT

        Speaking of rafts in the pacific..

        Does anyone remember the story about the two ladies that claimed to have spent several months at sea after their vessel was damaged by a storm? Media was all over this touting girrll power and such. But as the story unraveled and we found out that they were found plump and well fed, because they had packed enough food for two people to eat for a couple of years on a whim, and the storm they claimed to have hit didn’t happen when they claimed to have hit it, things looked bad for these examples of female power. Last I heard/saw the US NAVY had pointed out there were other some major gaps in their claims in an article I can no longer locate,. Of course these gals threw hissy fits about being called out, and immediately blamed the patriarchy. Then the story went away.

        1. RBS

          Yeah, the last thing I remember reading about them was something about the wholes in the story.

          1. Tundra

            19 REASONS THIS “SURVIVAL” STORY SMELLS FISHY

            So let’s start with some morons in a boat!

            No politics here (though I’m sure if you squint you can find a way to accuse me of racism or sexism or something), just me and my lifetime of sailing experience, including nearly five years living on a boat, against these two idiots.

            Funny column by a dude who sails.

          2. AlexinCT

            As someone that is intimately familiar with the ocean, sailing and boating and all that my reaction was the same as what this guy had. In fact, I heard it from people I trust that the sailors from the NAVY ship that picked them up immediately called bull on the story, but they were ignored by the people that wanted to write that girl power piece.

            My point is that I am tired of these bullshit stories that get touted by people with an agenda that feel when the truth comes out that it is better to bury it than admit these cunts delegitimized their whole narrative. I guess when the majority of people are stupid enough to believe anything these propagandists and their movements peddle, fact checking, even when the story smells, or worse yet, not wondering why a story like this just went away, you actually can think doing this shit is better than admit you were had by some fakers.

            Narrtive uber alles, as they say.

        2. wdalasio

          But, Alex, you don’t understand. They identified as having survived at sea. The actual physical facts are just patriarchy!

      2. Gadfly

        Still an improvement?

        Except, given that they are no where near each other, the only way a North Korean could get to Gaza would be by deliberate choice. Which, I think, would be indicative of underlying mental issues.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      He has also placed a large photo of reclusive North Korean leader Kim Jong Un on the glass door entrance to his restaurant.

      To guarantee that if there were any North Korean in Gaza they would come and smash his door and never eat there.

    3. Mustang

      To get shwarma at a refugee camp, clearly.

      1. DEG

        That’s a good reason. Shwarma is awesome.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      Compared to North Korea–Cuba is an improvement. Better weather at the very least.

  5. Just a thought not a sermon

    That’s the best Who song ever. I don’t know why it never gets played on the radio, or hardly anybody knows about it.

    “I look pretty tall but my heels are high
    the simple things in life are all complicated
    I look pretty young but I’m just back-dated”

    1. Brett L

      That particular video looks like a hostage situation. I don’t know, it’s something about Daltry’s not moving around at all.

      1. Count Potato

        He was very shy and had stage fright when he was young.

        My question is why is Keith Moon playing cross without a hi-hat?

        1. egould310

          Because he was a goofball and in all those videos, and tv appearances he was clowning around. Spend a Saturday afternoon on YouTube watching old Who videos. Pretty hilarious.

          One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands.

    2. DrZaius

      It was actually a controversial song back in the day with the line about looking white but my dad is black.

      Also, not the best song from them.

  6. Mom made millions monthly on pot-growing operation

    San Bernardino police busted a major marijuana grow operation Wednesday.

    And officials say the drug king pin behind the grow was actually a drug queen — and a mother from Pacific Palisades.

    The operation in San Bernardino had more than 24,000 plants. The plants were confiscated Wednesday by San Bernardino police and the federal officials.

    The huge operation is normally associated with a druglord, but this stash belonged to a mommy, 43-year-old Stephanie Smith, a Pacific Palisades woman, police said.

    wood.

    1. Lachowsky

      I thought they legalized weed in California.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        Yeah, but she was making money from it.

        1. WTF

          And the state wasn’t getting their cut.

      2. Suthenboy

        Somebody wasn’t getting their cut.

    2. DOOMco

      “you didn’t grow that!”

    3. Trials and Trippelations

      The grow was probably the most economic activity San Bernardino has seen in years

    4. Stillhunter

      I thought that was a TV show?

      1. Chafed

        Agrestic is definitely not in San Bernardino.

  7. Tundra

    I look pretty young, but I’m just back-dated…

      1. WTF

        Not bland enough?

      2. Tundra

        I look all white, but my dad was black

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I was born with plastic spoon in my mouth

  8. PieInTheSKy

    The Net Neutrality pants-shitting continues; showboating AGs hardest hit. I like the way the “reporter” didn’t even pretend to his own neutrality.

    The Usistan interwebz are all aflutter these day with that there net neutrality. I am pleased to see that not only America is not yet turned into a wasteland, but that some of my fellow glibs still, somehow, have access to the internet. Truly it is a wonder. Say a little prair of thanks to the blessed Saint Gore.

    I as well, as a lowly Romanian, do not have the blessing of net neutrality, but, somehow, against all odds, it seems there still is a bit of internet left in Bucharest so I too can continue posting.

    1. .– . / …. .- …- . / -… . . -. / .-. . -.. ..- -.-. . -.. / – — / — — .-. … . / -.-. — -.. . / — …- . .-. / – . .-.. . –. .-. .- .–. …. … .-.-.- / .. -. – . .-. -. . – / -. — / .-.. — -. –. . .-. / .- …- .- .. .-.. .- -… .-.. . .-.-.-

      1. *sends out St. Bernard with barrel of brandy*

        1. Now THAT is help!

      2. MikeS

        .. – .-. .. . -.. – — – .-. .- -. … .-.. .- – . .. – -… ..- – -.-. — ..- .-.. -.. -. .—-. – .-.-.- .– …. .- – -.. .. -.. -.– — ..- … .- -.– ..–..

    2. Lachowsky

      My Internet has been down since the FCC vote yesterday. These posts are being hand delivered bit by bit by my orphans.

      1. My internet is working – but I’m .gov IT

        1. AlexinCT

          Now I know you are kidding me. The US government is still the biggest operator of Windows Millennium and old NT boxes, and they are still using Netscape for their dial-in, and that stuff all dies when there is no social ineternets justice.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            We’re preparing to upgrade to Windows 10, and a significant number of our legacy systems are unable to operate under it.

            The effort to repair/prepare or even acknowledge the problem is almost invisible.

          2. AlexinCT

            Heh, I work for a very large corporation these days, and they are suffering of the same problem Bobarian. When we moved from XP to Win7, they hacked Windows 7 to keep some legacy crap working. They are now freaking out because they are not going to be ale to do the same for 10, and they either will have to support a dual system or actually put time in figuring out why they need this old junk to stay around (and rewrite it if they really did need it)..

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Never forget that your average American cannot explain how their electrical outlet works. And yet they have opinions on the inner workings of network traffic prioritization for the internet.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        They have no idea. While I was in the Air Force, we had these things called a Secondary Distribution Center (figure 4.8). Others were constantly asking me to bring power to their pet projects. I kept having to explain that there are no distribution lines in the area I can tap into to do that. Their response?

        Can’t you just put in one of those electric boxes? As if the SDC magically created electricity.

      2. C. Anacreon

        Yeah, that’s the part that always gets me when they say ‘an overwhelming majority of the country supports net neutrality”. No, an overwhelming majority has no idea what it is, but supports what they heard on Facebook that they are supposed to think.

  9. DOOMco

    I can’t decide if pants shitting over NN is worse than the shitstorms for gun control after shootings.

    1. Like a kidney stone, this too will pass.

    2. Suthenboy

      NN isnt as bad as 3 year old Trump Jr. telling you to go fuck yourself, I’ll tell you that.

    3. TK

      It ruins my daily crawl through reddit for a few days and then everything will go back to normal once reddit finds something else to be retarded about.

    4. commodious spittoon

      Worse, by far. The gun control crowd are at least responding to carnage. The Net Neutrality suckers, even if they can explain what precisely they think the FCC would achieve, can’t point to a single example of content censorship by an ISP. They’re arguing FOR censorship by government. Once the FCC gets its roving mandate legitimized by Congress, either explicitly or implicitly through inaction, it would never. stop. regulating.

      NN is the biggest clustercuss of ignorance wedded to rabid anticapitalism.

      1. Akira

        The Net Neutrality suckers, even if they can explain what precisely they think the FCC would achieve, can’t point to a single example of content censorship by an ISP.

        It’s like if they argued that the government needs to regulate shipping businesses because otherwise, UPS and FedEx might stop you from receiving products that they don’t want you to have (other than things that are dangerous and/or illegal to ship, like explosives).

        1. DOOMco

          no more priority mail! all packages matter.

        2. commodious spittoon

          I guarantee you if you made that argument over at DU, you’d get an avalanche of bitchy gotcha posts exclaiming that THEY ARE REGULATED and THE ROADS ARE GOVERNMENT SERVICES SO THE INTERNET SHOULD BE TOO.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Last I checked the roads had HOV lanes, passing lanes, tolls, etc…

          2. DOOMco

            I’ve had some success translating NN into road neutrality.
            no passing. no two lanes, we all go as fast as the grandma in front.

          3. Rhywun

            They recently put an HOV lane in the expressway that runs through Brooklyn down to my neighborhood which cuts the express bus commute – should I choose to pay extra for it – down to like 10 minutes from a half-hour. Road neutrality fucking sucks.

  10. WTF

    STEVE SMITH USE HIKER’S BUTT AS ONE-HOLE GOLF COURSE!!

      1. WTF

        STEVE SMITH JUST PLAY THROUGH! AND BY PLAY THROUGH MEAN RAPE!!

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      Worst Caddyshack sequel ever

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Wrong.

        Did you even see the other sequel?

    2. invisible finger

      But Sir, if we rape all the golfers…

    3. invisible finger

      STEVE SMITH GOLF COURSE EXTREME BARGAIN UNLESS YOU SLICE INTO HEAVY ROUGH.

  11. Unusual ‘Blob’ of Hot Rock Found Beneath New England

    The continental rock underlying the east coast of North America is pretty boring, tectonically speaking. The last dramatic geological goings-on there happened around 200 million years ago, and most change since then has been from glacial, wind and water erosion.

    But a project that helped image the layers of rock below the continent with unprecedented clarity has helped reveal a small, unusual feature that seems to be a relatively new “blob” of hot, rising rock below part of the U.S. Northeast.

    Exactly what caused this blob and whether other similar blob structures might lurk under other continents isn’t clear, said study co-author Vadim Levin, a Rutgers University geophysicist, but it raises plenty of interesting questions.

    STEVE SMITH HAS TO SHIT SOMEWHERE.

    1. WTF

      So eventually Vermont and New Hampshire may get a volcano?

      1. Suthenboy

        Yes, as will everywhere else.

      2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

        I was really hoping NYC and the DC metro area would by cleansed in fire.

    2. RBS

      Even Gaia hates the Patriots.

      1. Super Volcano Foxboro!

        1. DOOMco

          great, now the colts are going to complain about lavagate.

    3. Endless Mike

      More clear evidence of climate change.

    4. Blob was signed by the Patriots and went on to catch 9 passes for 129 yards at 2 TDs vs. the Ravens.

  12. Gordilocks

    Defending barrister Cohen asked: “Have you ever had a boyfriend who was black or afro-Caribbean? Do you find people of that ethnicity attractive?”

    Varchmin replied: “I don’t want to sound racist, it’s just not my . . . my preference.”

    Too late, RACIST.

    And –

    Varchmin said: “It is a life-changing event. It’s something you have to come to terms with. That bonded us together but at the time we were fighting over it. We developed a more aggressive sexual life.

    So these chaps had a visit from STEVE SMITH?

    1. Rasilio

      First Warty’s Doomcock gives him space aids then Steve Smith, poor guy, we should cut him some slack

  13. PieInTheSKy

    What percentage of the US public would you say has a very basic understanding of net neutrality, what exactly it entailed, about FTC and FCC and what each does, and how these regulations actually worked? is one third optimistic?

    1. DOOMco

      1/5th might be optimistic.

      1. Lachowsky

        I’m gonna say that’s wild optomistic. Judging from my FB feed yesterday, nobody has a clue.

        1. DOOMco

          I’ve been asking people to explain title 1 vs title 2, and if it takes more than a few minutes, I know they had to look it up.
          or “who’s regulating it under title one?” works well.

          1. Lachowsky

            I saw a post yesterday that read, “I’m thoroughly disgusted with the FCC”

            I couldn’t help myself. Maybe i spent too much time here. I commented-

            “#metoo. We should scrap the whole agency.”

    2. Waaaay too optimistic. 1-2% tops.

      1. DOOMco

        so, libertarians?

        1. And a handful of the tech savvy.

          1. Brett L

            Yes. I couldn’t help myself and put up a “wow I can still reach FB” post. The guy who works for one of the big tech companies in CA did a little laugh emoticon. Credentialed people not credentialed in IT ranted. Its a total political thing.The best the lefty lawyer I’m friends with could come up with was, “well the dissenting commissioner thought it was a bad idea”. Great. Two judges on the Supreme Court found a way to vote against the travel ban, too. It doesn’t make any of those people right.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            The fundamental problem is that most of these asshats are not old enough to remember Ma Bell and how the POTs system was (and remains) a regulatory nightmare. There’s a reason you can get better, more efficient service when dealing with cell phone problems than when your copper POTs line goes down.

          3. AlexinCT

            Actually some of the least informed and most daft supporters of this shit tend to be tech savvy idiots that only see it from the point of view that forcing their ISP provider to allow them to stream terabytes of data and clog up the channels while paying for the cheap plan, is socially just.

      2. I think this is more realistic. And of the people reporting on it, I’d go even lower.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      Maybe 1%. My son said all his friends were upset. I told him they were idiots and passed along the links that some of you posted yesterday explaining the stupid thing.

    4. gbob

      There’s only one diner by my work that’s open at 5 in the morning. Not great food, or even good food, but the old guys at the counter are all friendly, the owner knows me by name, and it’s a good start to my morning. Today was the talk about NN.

      “I hear they’re going to charge you extra to use Facebook” said one. Other guys all nodded. “I don’t care. I hate Facebook” said another.

      That’s about the level of understanding. They were genuinely surprised when I told them that all it does is put the internet where it was just two years ago.

      Fuck. The campaign for NN worked. Not a single dissenting voice gets to be heard. Apparently sometimes if you shriek loud enough, and shout down those who oppose you, you can manage to frame the debate in your favor.

      1. Best thing would be to ask these folks a year from now….”So, what changed?”

        1. DOOMco

          I usually start with “what’s changed in two years?”

        2. Brett L

          I’m just going to post on FB every Thursday: “Unfortunately, my provider has still not put all of your dumbass opinions behind a paywall”

          1. Mad Scientist

            Unfortunately, they don’t have opinions. They have someone else’s opinions.

        3. Akira

          Admitting error when confronted with incorrect predictions made in the past is not a specialty of the American Left.

          *cough* climate change *cough*

      2. commodious spittoon

        It puts the internet where it was two years ago, and presumably back on track to higher levels of investment than under the onus of NN.

      3. Gadfly

        The campaign for NN worked.

        Propaganda works. That’s why so many leftists shout people down: when they submit to debates, they more often than not lose. When people are only hearing from one side, they’ll generally assume that side’s opinion to be correct.

        1. Rhywun

          Propaganda works.

          See: “income inequality”.

    5. leonadasiv

      Golly my co-workers went off on this. We had talked about it before, what I mentioned that NN in this case just goes back to 2015. They were taking about how we needed NN to protect the internet, not because the internet was bad in 15 but to keep it from going bad. They also started talking about how your is a utility and that isps need to stop playing around with the internet and just provide it. They literally argued that they don’t want innovation. The one that finally got me was “they don’t own the internet” I had to step in and point out that they indeed own the infrastructure required to run the internet. To which they respond, “but we pay for it”. Yes but some people use more than what they pay for.

      1. DOOMco

        but to keep it from going bad.

        this is the latest argument.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          And the worst.

          1. DOOMco

            my mom used it the other day. my response was calling her delusional and paranoid. wait until something happens first.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Net Neutrality is the perfect Trojan horse for government intrusion into the market, It’s sounds good, it appeals to a sense of fairness among the greater populace, and it also appeals to a very specific subset of tech minded people who are functionally retarded in the ways of government.

        1. DOOMco

          “name another piece of legislation that wasn’t the exact opposite of the title”

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            The “Fuck You, We’re Taking Your Rights and Your Money Act of 2021”

          2. leonadasiv

            What, we’ll still have rights and money till 2021!? Wowhoo!

      3. Nephilium

        I rage when I hear the regulate it like a utility bullshit. I then ask them who has better customer service, their utilities or their internet provider.

        1. kbolino

          BUT COMCAST SUCKS!!!

          /stamps feet

          1. Nephilium

            Yeah… too bad your city government granted them a monopoly in the area, huh?

          2. kbolino

            It’s much easier to ignorantly talk about Ajit Pai and the FCC than it is to find out what your local regulations are, how they came to be, and what can be done to change them.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Note that the primary reason that Comcast tech support sucks is because they’re completely unionized.

          4. Bobarian LMD

            I can get high speed internet, TV and phone service through either COMCAST or my local phone utility.

            There pricing for their services are very comparable.

            I’d pay $100 more for COMCAST before I’d let those public utilities fucks back into anywhere I live.

          5. Gustave Lytton

            Got a source for that? Most of Comcast’s cable business and the MSO industry generally is nonunionized. The big outlier is certain NYC stuff (I think that was Cablevision now owneded by Charter or Altice).

          6. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I’ll have to look. It was something I heard about years ago. Which probably means I shouldn’t be spouting it as gospel, but hey, it’s the internet.

      4. The scariest thing about the regulatory impulse in this country–and yes, dammit, it’s a Progressive thing–is that the more popular a thing becomes, the more people of a certain mindset come to believe that it’s not just a really great thing that is available to them but that it’s something they have a right to have. Twenty years ago the Internet was kind of neat, but certainly not ubiquitous, and the idea that it would be a human right as it’s treated in Europe would have been absurd.

      5. The Elite Elite

        “we needed NN to protect the internet, not because the internet was bad in 15 but to keep it from going bad.”

        Why would the internet suddenly go bad after all these years of working just fine?

        *insert Picard facepalm pic here*

        1. AlexinCT

          The only informed supporters of net neutrality I ever met where people that either wanted the ability to push/pull terabytes of data and make other idiots pay for it, or people that hoped that team blue could use these regulations to stop icky shit like Drudge report, Fox News, talks shows like Limbaugh’s streaming, or any and all bloggers that didn’t peddle the left’s dogma.

          1. Mad Scientist

            And that latter is exactly where things will go eventually. I’m surprised you found anyone honest enough to admit it.

        2. Gadfly

          Why would the internet suddenly go bad after all these years of working just fine?

          Because CORPORATIONS!!!111!!1!!1!!!

    6. Count Potato

      I don’t have a basic understanding of net neutrality. Nor do I need one to be against it. Because I know free markets are generally sufficient. Every time I’ve examined something that “needed to be regulated” it turned out the problem was that were distortions and externalities caused by caused by government in the first place. And whenever things are regulated, the biggest players get the regulations to suit them.

      1. commodious spittoon

        “The government is in bed with big companies! We need to give more power to the government!”

        1. AlexinCT

          That seems to be the reaction we always get. What galls me the most however are the politicians that demand they be given the ability to provide the fix, for the people of course. That is why when Franks and Dodd, the two assholes most responsible for the the lending shit show that led to the housing market and lending market collapse in 2007/2008, demanded they be allowed to fix it, and all the idiots began cheering them on, I nearly had an aneurysm. Showing them exactly what Dodd and Franks had done to help the banks and lenders get us where they did didn’t dissuade the true believers either. They didn’t want a fix to the giant shit sammich government stuck us with: they wanted to punish people they hated because those people were inner circle elites and better off than them. Then Dodd and Franks give us that shit deal that basically left the basic nonsense that caused the problem in the first place in place, funneled about a trillion dollars to the people that went along with the crap that caused the collapse, and retired after some major pay-offs for the favor.

          But the evil in all of this isn’t the people that helped make this shit not just legal but the expectation. No, it is the fucking people trying to make a profit in a shitty system legislating stupidity! I swear that these idiots want everyone else, but themselves of course, to work for free or at a minimum as a non-profit. That’s their idea if something socially just..

        2. Akira

          It’s like if you caught your hired bodyguard letting burglars into your house, so you handed him a bigger gun and said, “you need to work harder to keep these burglars out in the future!

      2. spqr2008

        I keep telling my friend’s mom, who has a very limited understanding of Net Neutrality, that she’d be far better off supporting local municipal broadband or municipally owned fiber build outs rather than Net Neutrality, because if the ISPs have to start competing more like the Prepaid Cell phone market (with all the MVNOs), the prices will start to drop. Net Neutrality benefits the biggest companies first, even if they don’t want it, because they have the easiest path to compliance.

  14. DOOMco

    Who has more history of blocking sites they disagree with, ISPs or the Chinese government? our government?

    1. The Elite Elite

      That’s a good one. I might post that to Facebook. I haven’t checked but I’m sure there’ll be some pantshitting later today by people about “ZOMG, EVIL TRUMP PEOPLE HAVE TAKEN AWAY OUR FREE AND OPEN INTERNET!”

      1. DOOMco

        please do. then share the all caps shit you get thrown at you.

        1. The Elite Elite

          Oh, I’ll probably get no responses of any kind. I never have whenever I’ve posted political stuff in the past. Hell, I bet none of my Facebook friends will even read such a post. They’ll just skim past it and then share the latest Democrat Underground post. Probably about how evil the Trump admin is for destroying the internet.

          1. DOOMco

            yeah.
            me too.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I could get unfriended by a director of software development at Apple right now if I wanted to. But I don’t post on Facebook and I don’t really see this as a reason to start.

      2. Mad Scientist

        Holy shit. It was free and open until the NN rules under the Obama administration. Trump’s a jerk for making it free and open again!

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Does the Chinese government do it? Or is it Chinese ISPs on behalf of the Chinese government? Just like NN would be.

    1. PieInTheSKy

      There is no blue check-mark. I call shenanigans

      1. Tundra

        Still funny.

        1. PieInTheSKy

          Alt right confirmed

          1. Alt right CONFUSED because, Jooz!

    2. DOOMco

      shots fired

  15. PieInTheSKy

    On the child porn lawyer

    A high-flying City lawyer, accused of keeping a stash of child porn, said a “devastating” HIV diagnosis led him into host drug-fuelled sex parties at his luxury flat.

    Tim Varchmin, 44, a former senior lawyer at Barclays and a string of other institutions, told an Old Bailey jury he adopted “a more aggressive sexual life” after he had been told by doctors he had a rare form of HIV. – this seems pertucularly assholish unless there was full disclosure

    1. straffinrun

      You know who else adopted a more aggressive sexual life?

      1. Gordilocks

        Eva Braun?

        1. creech

          According to Eva, Dolf was a terrible lay.

      2. DOOMco

        Guys in prison?

      3. PieInTheSKy

        Catherine the Great ? low hanging but I got nothing else

        1. low hanging

          Neigh, you did not say that!

          1. Private Chipperbot

            Too early for this horsing around.

          2. Of course someone had to trot out this old slander.

          3. Rein this shit in.

      4. Gordilocks

        Roy Moore?

        1. Bobarian LMD

          I don’t think he actually adopted any of them.

      5. Mr Lizard

        STEVE SMITH AFTER DRINKING FOUR LOKO

      6. invisible furry hand

        Mother Teresa?

      7. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Jeffrey Dahmer?

      8. STEVE SMITH?

  16. Trump’s Strange Love for Putin Has Become a National Security Nightmare
    The president’s continued refusal to find fault with Russia has left the U.S. vulnerable to future threats.

    At the heart of the issue, according to more than 50 current and former U.S. officials who spoke to the Post, is Trump’s fear that addressing the Russia issue will delegitimize his election victory. “The president obviously feels . . . that the idea that he’s been put into office by Vladi­mir Putin is pretty insulting,” a senior administration official told the Post. One senior G.O.P. strategist, who has discussed the matter with Trump associates, explained, “If you say ‘Russian interference,’ to him it’s all about him . . . He judges everything as about him.”

    That reluctance reportedly extends to Trump’s daily intelligence briefings: “If you talk about Russia, meddling, interference—that takes the PDB off the rails,” a former senior U.S. intelligence official said. Another official described a policy of “don’t walk that last 5½ feet” on sensitive Russia-related matters, which effectively means “avoid bringing something to the Oval Office that can be tackled by subordinates.” (Brian Hale, a spokesman for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, told the Post that the intelligence community “always provides objective intelligence—including on Russia—to the president and his staff.”)

    PANIC: Reds under our beds!

    1. Suthenboy

      “a former senior U.S. intelligence official said. Another official described a policy ”

      In other words “We made this shit up.”

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Anyone who’s still pushing this nonsense can be safely ignored. They’re either ignorant, stupid, or lying.

      2. Officials are the white people of experts.

      3. Gustave Lytton

        Also in the made up shit

        Trump’s fear that addressing the Russia issue will delegitimize his election victory

        Yeah, Trump confessed this along with other sins to the writer.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Vanity Fair is where I always go for my reasoned analysis of foreign policy, and Hollywood gossip.

      1. I’ve always wondered if the name of the magazine was a brilliant troll. In no other context is the reference to “Vanity Fair” a positive one.

    3. The Elite Elite

      Aren’t these the same people who laughed at Sen. McCarthy?

    4. Count Potato

      Why is Vanity Fair publishing articles about national security?

    5. Chipwooder

      The 1980s called. They want their foreign policy back.

      I’m too lazy to go digging, but I am almost certain that you could someone from Vanity Fair snickering over what a sick burn that was from Obama.

    6. commodious spittoon

      What is the point of antagonizing the guy we’re supposed to be working with in Syria, and possibly to help contain Iran? And have these people forgotten the abortive Russian Reset under Clinton? Or her boss, Mr. “I’ll Have More Flexibility After the Election”? Trump is supposed to throw the country’s foreign policy overboard because Russians may have hacked Clinton’s stupidly insecure email account, and spent a trifling amount on Facebook ads? These partisans for Obama really want to get into a tiff with Putin due to sniping shenanigans identical to what Obama pulled on Netanyahu? I thought Net Neutrality would have the dumbest takes this week, but the gasping Russia collusion narrative is creeping up.

      1. AlexinCT

        History was already rewritten, and the only bad people are the non-team blue people.

  17. PieInTheSKy

    https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/12/171213104941.htm

    A laser-driven technique for creating fusion that dispenses with the need for radioactive fuel elements and leaves no toxic radioactive waste is now within reach, say researchers.
    Dramatic advances in powerful, high-intensity lasers are making it viable for scientists to pursue what was once thought impossible: creating fusion energy based on hydrogen-boron reactions. And an Australian physicist is in the lead, armed with a patented design and working with international collaborators on the remaining scientific challenges.
    Rather than heat fuel to the temperature of the Sun using massive, high-strength magnets to control superhot plasmas inside a doughnut-shaped toroidal chamber (as in NIF and ITER), hydrogen-boron fusion is achieved using two powerful lasers in rapid bursts, which apply precise non-linear forces to compress the nuclei together.

    Hydrogen-boron fusion produces no neutrons and, therefore, no radioactivity in its primary reaction. And unlike most other sources of power production — like coal, gas and nuclear, which rely on heating liquids like water to drive turbines — the energy generated by hydrogen-boron fusion converts directly into electricity. But the downside has always been that this needs much higher temperatures and densities — almost 3 billion degrees Celsius, or 200 times hotter than the core of the Sun.
    However, dramatic advances in laser technology are close to making the two-laser approach feasible, and a spate of recent experiments around the world indicate that an ‘avalanche’ fusion reaction could be triggered in the trillionth-of-a-second blast from a petawatt-scale laser pulse, whose fleeting bursts pack a quadrillion watts of power. If scientists could exploit this avalanche, Hora said, a breakthrough in proton-boron fusion was imminent.

    Together with 10 colleagues in six nations — including from Israel’s Soreq Nuclear Research Centre and the University of California, Berkeley — Hora describes a roadmap for the development of hydrogen-boron fusion based on his design, bringing together recent breakthroughs and detailing what further research is needed to make the reactor a reality.
    An Australian spin-off company, HB11 Energy, holds the patents for Hora’s process. “If the next few years of research don’t uncover any major engineering hurdles, we could have prototype reactor within a decade,” said Warren McKenzie, managing director of HB11.

    All you people who say fusion is always 20 years away may look silly if this time it is in fact 20 years away

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      Until you get more energy out than you put in, keep it to yourself.

      1. TK

        ^This. I won’t claim to know how the science is done, so maybe I’m just ignorant, but I bet all this stuff takes a whole lot of energy to make happen.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          the energy generated by hydrogen-boron fusion converts directly into electricity.

          That made my BS meter scream. 5 hydrogen atoms are fused into 1 boron atom and the by-product is electricity? Not heat?

          Yeah.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            ITS MAGIC

    2. Suthenboy

      The greenies would lose their shit. This would be the evilest thing ever.

      1. PieInTheSKy

        I mean honestly if it worked and was cheap I wouln’d care bout the greenies, though I would so enjoy solar panel/ windmill industries going bankrupt. But think of the benefits. A clean non radioactive no lots of water / steam turbine needed electricity. It would be amazing. And could replace natural gas for house heating which would make things much easier (no gas pipes gas sensors risk of explosion etc). It is much easier to get electricity to an relatively isolated place than to get gas pipes.

        1. Electric heating is still shit, as are electric stoves. My electric heater at the apartment – turn it on, wait a few hours go “is this thing even running?” My gas furnace at the house – turn it on, whoosh, hot air starts coming from the vents and raising the ambient temperature.

          1. PieInTheSKy

            Well I dun’t know the usual heating in USistan, but here in Romania most heating is with something the heats water and circulates it into radiators, and there are electric things that work just as well as gas, just more expensive due to the cost of electricity. I prefer gas stoves, although I prefer electric ovens, but I would not get gas into my house just for a stove. I would get a gas grill outside from a canister for my flame needs

          2. Some older buildings here have radiator systems based on a hot water loop. Some newer installs put the hot water loop into the floor and turn the whole floor into the radiator.

            I’ve never experienced the latter, but the first kind was also very slow to warm up.

          3. Suthenboy

            The floor heaters are slow too but once they get the floor warm they create the most comfortable heat. Walk around barefoot toasty and warm without having your sinuses dried out.

          4. PieInTheSKy

            Underfloor heating is great, my mothers house has it. It was not cheap though.

          5. DOOMco

            underfloor is great until it breaks, too. I like it a lot though.
            It also sucks when you try to bolt a safe into a house with it.

          6. Lachowsky

            Several years ago I put an outdoor wood burning furnace in at my place. The fire heats a tank of water. The heated water is pumped through a radiator that I installed in my duct work. My HVAC blower blows air over the radiator and then through my vents into my house. It’s the best heating system I have ever used. I can set the thermostat to whatever I want and my house immediately warms up.

          7. PieInTheSKy

            I think underfloor would be better fully electric though

          8. PieInTheSKy

            Lachowsky wait you did all that yourself? Didn’t that cost a job of a qualified heating professional?

          9. Lachowsky

            Pie, of course I did it myself. Only chumps use professionals for things they can do themselves.

          10. I’d kill for heated floors. Our place is a teeny Cape Cod with an old floor furnace. For the uninitiated, there’s a 2′ x 3′ hole in the floor with a gas furnace (made by Coleman, incidentally) that kicks on when the thermostat trips. It’s like an enclosed gas oven in the floor. The first winter a person experiences with a floor furnace typically winds up in “waffle feet”: grill marks on your bare feet because you stood on top of the grating too long. It actually does a decent job of heating the house because it’s a small space and it’s close to the stairs, which lets a lot of the hot air filter up. We still use plug-in electric radiators for some rooms, but gas is way cheaper than electric so it’s easy on the bills.

            @Lachowsky: Pellets?

          11. commodious spittoon

            most heating is with something the heats water and circulates it into radiators

            Wow. We just tore that system out of my brother’s house. It hadn’t been used in probably 30 years.

          12. Nice. I’ve got woodpile envy. We “supplement” with our fireplace, which of course makes the immediate area warm and cheery and the rest of the house cold as hell thanks to convection. A good friend of mine got an insert for his fireplace and he can fill that sucker up in the morning and the first floor of his house is cozy for the whole day.

          13. Lachowsky

            I have an insert in my fireplace
            Before I put in the outdoor heater, that’s what I used. It did a fair job, but the middle of my house would be around eighty amd the back rooms would be about 60. That was okay, but outdoor system works way better.

          14. Drake

            I have electric baseboard heating in my basement – works just fine and relatively quickly.

          15. kbolino

            My electric heater at the apartment – turn it on, wait a few hours go “is this thing even running?”

            Most electric systems have two forms of heating, a heat pump (basically, an air conditioner run in reverse) and a resistive heater (basically, an electric stove inside your furnace). The former is much cheaper to run but pumps out air that is not very warm. The latter, while much more expensive, will put out air just as hot as the best gas furnace. In normal use, the resistive heater will only turn on if the heat pump isn’t able to keep up (on really cold days). But, you can usually force the system to use it instead of the heat pump; the option is sometimes called “EHEAT” or “Emergency Heat”.

          16. The damn thing only had one knob – and it was labelled wrong.

          17. kbolino

            Ah. I was assuming you had central air.

          18. Not in either place. The natgas furance has holes (taped over) to install it, but no good spot for the compresser.

            The apartment had baseboard electric heat. and a window AC set into the wall (don’t ask, I don’t know)

        2. Pope Jimbo

          “I would so enjoy solar panel/ windmill industries going bankrupt”

          Silly rabbit. We’d just have to subsidize them more. Can’t have all those poor workers lose their jobs.

          1. PieInTheSKy

            I remember the retarded brag that it takes more workes to produce the same energy on some pro green stuff. Let’s get back to dinging everything with shovels. Or spoons.

          2. AlexinCT

            That green movement has never been about efficiency, effectiveness, cheap or clean energy, logic or reason, and certainly not about saving anyone from any calamity. Reality is that the green movement has been nothing but a bunch of communists and profiteers peddling marxism as the solution to a problem of their own making. They are aptly labeled as watermelons because as soon as you scratch the surface of that greeny, you find deep red (communism) is the real motivation.

        3. Drake

          Their mask would fall off altogether. They don’t want clean energy, they want a return to feudalism.

          1. AlexinCT

            Feudalism wouldn’t be as evil or bad as what they really want to return to.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      It’s going to take a lot of pedaling orphans to power the laser.

      1. Go long on gruel futures!

  18. Gordilocks

    A friend recently turned me on to a blog I hadn’t seen before, and it has a couple of gems within.

    How to deal with a progressive bully is a good little essay about the behaviours of the online Social Justice Turds. Unfortunately the title is a bit misleading, as guns are not mentioned as one of the solutions.

    Some selections –

    For many people, myself included, the first step in dealing with a progressive bully is to recognize that they exist. Just because someone’s committed to social justice doesn’t mean they’re socially just. Notorious bullies have been known to lead anti-bullying campaigns. I recently had to part ways with an old friend over this very issue. He was always a bit of a bully, even when we were kids. But his engagement with online progressive politics has brought those tendencies out like never before. He’s become an abusive asshole who thinks the fact that he’s right gives him the right to be nasty and disrespectful.

    He’s alienated at least a dozen old friends and family members, and he’s clearly unhappy, maybe even depressed. Yet he keeps on this miserable path, in part, because he has a cloud of online sycophants who Facebook-like every stupid thing he says: the meaner the better. What he doesn’t seem to realize is that none of these people are real friends. He’s never met these people and they have no intention of meeting him. When he was in the hospital last year, none of them came to visit him. It was his real friends, the ones he keeps alienating with his zealotry, who came to see him.

    Huh, never heard of ‘Kafkatrapping’ before –

    (1) Beware of Kafkatrapping: The Urban Dictionary defines “kafkatrap” as follows: “To accuse someone of some form of ism (sexism, racism, etc.) and proclaim that their denial, or any attempt they make to defend themselves, is proof that they are guilty.” Progressive bullies seem to delight in kafkatrapping, as it’s their preferred strategy of attack in Social Media Land. So you should be prepared for it. Just as schoolyard bullies tell you to move your hands out of the way so they can punch you in the face, progressive bullies hurl abuse at you and then accuse you of “white fragility” if you refuse to passively accept it. The irony of an utterly offensive person telling the person they’re offending to stop being so defensive never seems to occur to them. Regardless, if you find yourself in this situation, bear in mind that you have a right to defend yourself. Remember, too, that the kafkatrapper’s circular argument is more or less absurd. Just as a net that catches the whole sea isn’t much of a net, an argument that explains everything isn’t much of an argument.

    Surprise, surprise –

    Two of the nastiest bullies I’ve yet to meet in Social Media Land, the first two people I was forced to block on Facebook, were publicly shamed for screwing their predominately trans employees out of thousands of dollars earlier on this year. The irony of this was nothing short of astounding, because these self-righteous social justice warriors have been branding themselves as paragons of left-wing virtue for the last decade. If you live in progressive Montreal, this was every bit as riveting as that moment in 2006 when the anti-gay pastor of a megachurch was caught smoking crystal meth with a gay prostitute.

    Have a look around this authors content. Some good shit in there.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      ZARDOZ does not approve of those solutions.

      1. Needz moar BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS!

    2. TK

      Rebecca Solnit’s description of “mansplaining” is clear, precise, and painfully accurate. I’ve witnessed it first-hand on numerous occasions. For instance, I once watched two clueless dudes take it upon themselves to school my wife in the intricacies of climate change politics at a dinner party. These guys—whose entire knowledge of the subject was, we later on discovered, based upon one TED Talk and last Sunday’s New York Times—continued to tell her “what’s what” even after I told them that she was an expert on the subject! Even after she’d made it abundantly clear to everyone within earshot that she was indeed an expert on the subject! Even after she’d also made it abundantly clear that these guys had no idea what the fuck they were talking about! So yeah, I get it: mansplaining is a real thing. And it is indeed obnoxious.

      I do take issue with this – Why is this a gendered thing? I’ve had several women do this to me. It’s called being an ignorant, rude asshole- not “man”splaining or even “fem”splaining.

      People who go on and on about a subject they know very little about to a person who knows a lot about the subject… not a trait unique to men. I work in telecom and banking and I’ve had people try to tell me how both of those industries work even right after I just told them that this is what I do 5 days a week all year.

      1. kbolino

        Why is this a gendered thing?

        Because it has to be. If it wasn’t, then things would be much more complicated. Nuance and pragmatism are the enemies of the narrative.

      2. AlexinCT

        Well said TK. This has nothing to do with mansplaining. This is an example of prog assholery.

  19. Actresses to acknowledge #MeToo movement by wearing black gowns

    In an attempt to acknowledge this, industry insiders have been been discussing the ways in which they can pay tribute to these victims, and recent reports suggest it may come down to outfit choice at the Golden Globes in January.

    “All female actresses attending the Globes are protesting by just wearing black gowns,” a source told PEOPLE in response to rumours that female stars were planning to challenge the current status quo.

    Choosing to wear a black ensemble will reportedly act as a symbol of protest against sexual harassment and gender inequality in Hollywood, and ties in with the #AskHerMore movement which seeks to remind the media that female stars are capable of discussing more than ‘who they’re wearing’ on the red carpet.

    It’s like the whole world has gone insane… well insaner.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Does the red carpet match the drapes?

    2. Suthenboy

      Huh, so we really are going back to Victorian era values. How fun.

      1. LJW

        We’re going back to Victorian era values? *Starts polishing wife beating stick.

        1. Brett L

          Be sure that it holds to the Rule of Thumb

          1. Nephilium

            *shows thumb*

            Well, can’t do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            I knew you assholes would give me trouble.

            *swings fist at Nephilium*

          3. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            +1 Serial Crusher

    3. PieInTheSKy

      But where does Taylor Swift stand on this?

      1. WTF

        She refuses to take a stance, which obviously makes her a Nazi.

    4. Private Chipperbot

      Don’t they always wear black gowns? How about neon yellow or something that really stands out? Or are they more worried about how they actually look than making a statement?

      1. straffinrun

        Good point. Go with a burlap sack and no make up if you want to make a statement.

        1. Tundra

          How about skipping the event?

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Inconceivable, how would they be able to attention whore if they didn’t show up?

          2. straffinrun

            I wasn’t invited, but I didn’t really wanna go anyways. *Mopes around*

        2. Gadfly

          Sackcloth and ashes, like a true old school mourner. I approve.

      2. Count Potato

        “Don’t they always wear black gowns?”

        Some do, but it’s not even mostly black gowns.

    5. DEG

      I wonder if they’ll pick out sexy black gowns to wear.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        I like the backless ones with a little ass crack showing on the ladies. Classy and sexy.

        1. NoDakMat

          It’s the mullet of gowns.

          Class in the front, ass in the back.

        2. antisthenes

          That look that says, “yes, I’m hot and make millions of dollars acting, but I could just as easily earn a living as a plumber if I wanted”

    6. Gadfly

      #AskHerMore movement which seeks to remind the media that female stars are capable of discussing more than ‘who they’re wearing’ on the red carpet

      Do they…do they not know their audience? The people who watch these shows strike me (yes, I’m generalizing here) as being the type of people who are most interested in the ‘who they’re wearing’ question and not so much questions of substance. Is the entertainment media trying to follow the example of the NFL?

    7. invisible finger

      Black gowns make me horny. Maybe a burka would be a better form of protest.

      1. Tundra

        No good. Burkas make me horny.

        1. Count Potato

          You’ve been reading Teen Vogue?

    8. The Last American Hero

      My wife watches every one of these awards shows. It’s been fun seeing the group therapy/collective meltdown over the last year. But now to watch them pontificate about #resist and call Trump a rapist while thanking Harvey Weinstein for their latest award makes the whole situation even funnier.

      By the way – Is there a good Youtube compilation of the #meetooers thanking Weinstein at awards shows?

    9. Social Justice is Neither

      So bring awareness to something by doing exactly what you were doing before? Genius.

      Can’t wait for someone to wear a pearl necklace with their black dress just like they did to get the job.

  20. Pope Jimbo

    Minnesoda prosecutor: I don’t have any evidence to charge Officer Noor in the Justine Damond shooting and it isn’t my fault.

    Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman told a group of union members Wednesday that he does not have enough evidence to decide yet whether he’ll file charges against Minneapolis police officer Mohamed Noor, and he blamed “investigators” for not doing their jobs.

    Better call Scooby Doo to figure out who did the shooting. A real puzzler.

    1. DOOMco

      Its a real mystery

    2. Suthenboy

      Shorter Freeman – “I still have my finger in the wind”

    3. WTF

      Well, it’s not like we didn’t already know that cops have a license to get away with murder.

      1. DOOMco

        Chris Dorners got revoked.

        1. Targeted the wrong folks.

          1. Tundra

            Noor targeted the wrong woman. Freeman is just being a pussy.

    4. ChipsnSalsa

      “Trust me. Nobody wants it done for Christmas more than me. That’s … that’s the big present I’d like to see under the Christmas tree. So thanks for listening.”

      OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMED will need to send out memo about proper end of year observances.

    5. Stillhunter

      That said, this case is about an officer that followed procedure and training,” Plunkett said.

      Holy shit. I think they need to throw that manual out if that’s true (and it is not…)

    6. Chipwooder

      Justine Damond and her white privilege needed to be brought down a peg or two anyway.

  21. Lachowsky

    Our department secretary here at work had her house broken into yesterday. When her 12 year old got home from school, he found their door kicked in, house ransacked, and most of their valuables stolen. Electronics, guns, jewelry, pretty much anything of value.

    Stuff like this pisses me off. I really really can’t stand a thief. I hope she figures out who did this.

    1. DOOMco

      that really sucks. I hope they catch em.

    2. Gordilocks

      Motherfuckers, and a week before Christmas, too.

      1. Suthenboy

        A friend of mine once had her gifts that she had just paid for seconds earlier lifted from her inside the store. She turned her back for a second to finish up the transaction when two women whisked by and grabbed the bagged items and zipped out the door. When she realized what had happened she chased them into the parking lot and demanded her merchandise returned. Since she had already seen their license plate and their faces they did so but were very resentful.

        “You are stealing from me right at christmas? How dare you! Those are for my children!”

        Them – “We deserve Christmas too!”

        Calling some people pieces of shit is too kind.

        1. AlexinCT

          Never knew Christmas was about taking shit from others, but I see some people feel that way about life. I would not be surprised this world view was created by the politics people that think stealing shit from people that actually earned it – even if the perp stealing is government and not just condones it but makes like it is a noble thing – is all cool, since it benefits them.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            +1 Obamaphone

          2. Gadfly

            I would not be surprised this world view was created by the politics…

            It’s the other way around. People have been stealing and plundering since time immemorial. Representative government merely allows the weak, lazy, and cowardly to get in on the theft.

          3. AlexinCT

            Society used to not tolerate this sort of shit, it wasn’t until government legitimized it that it became trendy and cool. Then again, you do have a point, because the entire ideological basis for people that peddle and believe in this shit was created out of the need to justify the envious need to fuck over those better of than the envious people that would buy into this ideology’s teachings.

          4. Pope Jimbo

            I think affluence has also had a big impact on toleration of thievery.

            One of the reasons that people didn’t tolerate this shit before was that times were tough. Getting things meant you had to work hard and save up for them. Also you got things like new clothes or other sensible shit.

            Now we are wealthy beyond belief as a society. Things are so easy to get and everyone pretty much has all the necessities. So when a thief takes your shit, people don’t see it as such an evil thing because it was just a material object that can be replaced.

            I don’t agree with that. If you steal shit you are an asshole. I’m just suggesting that when you have your basic needs taken care of already, you don’t see thieves as much of a menace as you would if they were stealing your food.

          5. AlexinCT

            Great points there Jimbo.

            Wealth has made us soft and tolerant of a lot of behaviors that would otherwise never have been allowed when things were different. Maybe the proggie movement’s attempt to take us back to living in caves isn’t such a bad idea then..

            Just kidding about that last part man.

          6. Brett L

            I think affluence has also had a big impact on toleration of thievery.

            Yeah. The person I know who thinks taking off a hand — literally — is probably too good for thieves grew up poor enough that if he got something nice and it was stolen, he would not be able to buy another one.

          7. thepasswordispassword

            There are actual people who think having their shit stolen isn’t that bad and might actually be a positive thing for the world.
            http://owlturd.com/post/167461344084

          8. There was a young guy who was beaten near to death in DC while pushing his infant child in a stroller a few years ago by a bunch of teenage thugs who wanted his iPhone. He was a lawyer at the time; now he’s got permanent brain damage and is in speech therapy learning how to talk again. He was the sole breadwinner, so now his family’s in tight straits. But the WaPo commentariat, and some of DC’s more disgusting locals, actually implied (or straight came out and said in so many words) that because he was a white man “flaunting” his wealth in front of poor black teenagers who couldn’t afford iPhones of their own, he basically compelled them to rob him and beat him within an inch of his life. This was right when “white privilege” started to be a thing idiots talked about. I remember thinking, “Wow. A significant number of people in this area believe that if you’re white and have something a black person wants, that black person has a right to demand it of you, and if you don’t give it up they have a right to take it by force. That’s fucking insane.”

          9. antisthenes

            I was going to suggest that that’s how you get Trump, but that’s more how you get Richard Spencer.

        2. invisible finger

          “Calling some people pieces of shit is too kind.”

          Calling them Democrats is the best insult.

        3. “My gift to you this year is to not have you rot in jail during the holidays. You’re welcome.”

        4. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

          I’d have sent em to jail for good measure.

      2. Lachowsky

        My thoughts exactly. I forgot to mention. They stole all the Christmas presents too. Fucking assholes.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Don’t you whypipple understand YOU OWE THEM?

    3. Suthenboy

      Let me guess: Cops arrive and are more interested in searching the house for drugs than in the theft.

      1. PieInTheSKy

        You can always say the thief planted the drugs though

      2. DOOMco

        “anyone in the house have any warrants we should know about?”

      3. Chipwooder

        And cash. Don’t forget about any cash in the house.

        1. Not my $110 Trillion ZMB!

    4. PieInTheSKy

      shootin’s too good for him. To be honest there is a bit of grey area on shooting an intruder in your house if he is not attacking you / directly a threat… I find that one should be able to feel safe in ones home so catching a burglar and just shooting can be somewhat excusable, especially with a household with small children.

      1. Suthenboy

        “I feared for my life. I am calling my lawyer.”

        I do think that whatever junk might be around the house is not more valuable than a person’s life. However, a person who comes in your house while you are there probably has more in mind than just taking stuff. I have seen a lot of cases where some psychopath obviously committed a theft as a pretense for killing someone. Ex. – forcing someone at gunpoint to an ATM (max withdrawal 500 bucks) and then killing the victim in some particularly sadistic way, in this case tying them up and tossing them into a lake.

        1. Unless they’re here to take the trash, I value literally anything on my property more than the life of someone who would try to steal it from me. It’s the violation, honestly. At a minimum, I need to know that there is a space that belongs to my family and I where we can expect to be private and safe.

          To your point, though, I work with a guy who lives on a decent-sized farm. He and his wife were out when someone broke into their house and stole some antique rifles. The dude got caught by the police at another house. Turns out he’d been working his way south from Jersey, and had killed two people who were home when he broke in. Big ol’ meth addict lookin’ for stuff to pawn. Scary shit, and scarier because these folks live well away from any neighbors. He’s a vegan who donates money to PETA, if that gives you a picture, and even he was like, “I bought a shotgun the next day and have been going to a local range.”

          1. I know of at least half a dozen people that got guns after this and this incident happened around these parts. The proposal that some people have of making it mandatory to wait a period of days for a background check to clear on an arms purchase is fucking disgusting.

            Oddly enough, I have one Jewish acquiantence that used to be a hardcore anti-gun guy until he got freaked out by the Unite the Right imagery with the tiki torches. Hey man, whatever gets you there.

          2. For sure, if a bunch of limousine liberals in my neck of the woods decide they need to arm themselves against a possible redneck invasion, God bless ’em. The higher you raise the risks of a home invasion in a given neighborhood or area the less likely they are to happen. Sure, genuine nutcases and the truly desperate are gonna do it anyway, but it’s the rational actors you want to dissuade.

          3. AlexinCT

            I am with you on this Bill. Sure as an individualist and someone that values freedom, I feel all life is sacred. But when you decide to commit a crime against me, even one as low as theft or destruction of property, I feel you have basically shown me you don’t much value either the freedom or rights of me or mine, and I am not going to feel bad for reciprocating the feeling.

          4. For me it’s a practical thing, too. I don’t have a security staff like some of the Congress-critters who vote against gun rights or the celebrities who rally against gun ownership while their armed security detail escorts them to Starbucks. I have to sleep, I have to leave the house for work or to run errands, etc. I need the local nogoodniks to understand that I’m not a mark. Plus, a few of my neighbors are old ladies living by themselves. It doesn’t hurt them any to know there are a few pipe-hitters in the neighborhood who aren’t willing to tolerate bullshit and won’t wait for the police.

          5. AlexinCT

            I don’t have a security staff like some of the Congress-critters who vote against gun rights or the celebrities who rally against gun ownership while their armed security detail escorts them to Starbucks.

            Mention this to your usual anti-gun idiot, and they have a brain malfunction and need to be sent back to the shop for a mental colon cleaning.

          6. I always say if you’re in favor of armed police or private security you’re not against gun ownership you’re just in favor of hiring someone else to carry and shoot it for you.

    5. Tundra

      Seems like it’s almost always someone from the neighborhood.

      1. DOOMco

        usually. or maybe a town over.

        1. It’s one of those Shelbyville people!

          /Springfield

        2. AlexinCT

          We had a case where it turned out to be the homeowner himself that did it. Upstanding guy and a great member of the community that had a serious and well hidden drug addiction, and decided to run an insurance scam for money. He got caught. Lost his job, lost his family, home, and all other manner of shit. Turns out he was also the one that had been robbing his neighbors in the past to keep the habit, but since most people had beefed up security and were armed, he figured it was safer to do this at his own place. The ironic thing is that the guy sold insurance, and had sold most of these people their homeowners insurance.

      2. Lachowsky

        Maybe. It’s a very rural area. I just found out a little bit ago, apparently her closest neighbor’s house house was robbed too.

      3. egould310

        Yep. Figure out what neighborhood high school kid with a drug/gambling/needs money problem wasn’t at school during lunch hour. Probably a friend or acquaintance of the 12 year old, actually.

    6. DEG

      I hate thieves too. I hope they get caught.

    7. Yeah after it happens, it makes you fucking rage that some cretin invaded your castle for a week of meth money.

      We were burglarised in August 2016 and my favourite guns (including my first gun, a Mini-14) were stolen. The Mini-14 theft in particular angers me, but what pisses me off the most is how these losers stole my wife’s outdated laptop and made off with a ton of her photos.

      Home invaders should have to be enslaved by the victim party for a time if they are caught.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I was burglarized back in 1992 or thereabouts. Among the things they targeted that still poses me off is they took my FM2 Nikon camera which is considered a classic today. It was a handsome machine. I hope they got raped by Kevin Spacey’s relentless cock.

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          Kevin Spacey’s relentless cock

          band name

        2. Have no doubt, the proceeds from the theft on that camera were probably spent on something retarded, like crack.

    8. So, last night my wife and I got back and the random street people my wife had asked to rake our yard–don’t ask, she’s like Lucille Ball but without the ability to recognize when she’s wrong–let us know that they chased off a bunch of teenagers who were rifling through packages on our front porch. Maybe they were lying, but the box was definitely open and it’s happened in our neighborhood before. A neighbor called the cops, they said, and the kids just sat waiting on the sidewalk until the cruiser actually showed up and then they took off. Luckily, they weren’t interested in 5 lbs. of chocolate MetRx whey protein or 12 rolls of paper towels.

      Today, I’m working from home. My wife has the car. I have a loaded pistol and an empty Amazon box taped up and sitting on the porch. Sometimes it’s important to let the locals know that at any given time a very, very unpleasant person may be inside the house you’re trying to burglarize.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        Do you have a GoPro you could wear when opening the door?

        1. No, but I could probably rig up a webcam to point in the direction, not that it would do much good. We live two blocks away from a huge public housing complex that’s plonked right in the middle of $300k-$600k houses–welcome to Annapolis–and shootings are not uncommon. One kid was shot by another a month ago maybe three blocks from our place in this area that’s kind of infamous for shootings and it’s still unsolved. I mention this to say that if the absolute worst were to happen, local police would be pretty sympathetic to a homeowner defending himself from a bunch of armed thugs. I’d lose the pistol for sure, and there’d be legal stuff to deal with, but at the end of the day I’d be alright.

          Honestly, I’m counting on the dissuasive powers of two 80-pound pit bulls and a big guy with a beard and a pistol yelling angrily. On work-from-home days I tend to look a little like the Unabomber if he were a psychotic, homeless cannibal, and that seems to go pretty far when trying to influence the calculus of whether or not a person should get off of my lawn.

          1. Honestly, I’m counting on the dissuasive powers of two 80-pound pit bulls and a big guy with a beard and a pistol yelling angrily. On work-from-home days I tend to look a little like the Unabomber if he were a psychotic, homeless cannibal, and that seems to go pretty far when trying to influence the calculus of whether or not a person should get off of my lawn.

            It would be even more terrifying if you could work it so that you have a raging trouser tent whilst you’re yelling angrily. STEVE SMITH GOING TO STEAL SOMETHING FROM YOU.

          2. BRILLIANT! I’ve got a Maglite and some duct tape. God help the next Mormon who comes to my door!

          3. AlexinCT

            So much this 🙂

    9. commodious spittoon

      Lopping off a hand for this doesn’t seem outlandish.

  22. Bigfoot Air Freshener Doesn’t Actually Smell Like Sasquatch

    If you’ve ever encountered a sasquatch, you know how rancid and rank all that damp fur can get. What you need to do next time you see one is hang one of these Bigfoot air fresheners around his neck to try and cover up his odiferous ways. Now you have a bigfoot that smells like wet dog, old cheese stuck in his beard, AND pine! Problem solved!

    “old cheese”

    1. STEVE SMITH MORE OF A DRAKKAR NOIR FAN.

      1. Of course. The Rapiest Scent.

    2. STEVE_SMITH SEE NO MENTION OF HAIRY APE BALLSACK REEK. STEVE_SMITH SAD. STEVE_SMITH NEED TO SET RECORD STRAIGHT, DOOR BY DOOR. AND BY SET RECORD STRAIGHT, MEAN RAPE.

  23. straffinrun

    Just got my new passport in the mail today. One week. A little surprised, but one of the visa pages has a quote by Thomas Jefferson printed on it:

    The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time.

    There may still be hope for America.

    1. DEG

      I noticed the changes in the US passport when I renewed. Given the quotes on a few pages, I wondered if someone at the State Department must be trolling Progressives or other assorted enemies of freedom.

      1. straffinrun

        There’s actually a Reagan quote on it, too. Someone is having fun at the State Department.

        1. I believe this is what our British cousins call “taking the piss”.

    2. AlexinCT

      I am sure their interpretation of what is being said in this quote is different than yours..

  24. gbob

    Colorado goes back into the drug war business. Of course, I suspect the problem could have been solved just by having less regulations, and make the regulations that exist less difficult to adhere to, but what the hell. Those Denver SWAT teams had less to do in the post legalization world. Gotta play with them shiny toys.

    1. DOOMco

      yay! thank CO for protecting us!

    2. Stillhunter

      Potential charges relate to marijuana sales exceeding limits set in state law, police said.

      You don’t need to make any more money. This is enough.

  25. yeah – no shit?

    Medicare Fails To Recover Hundreds Of Millions Of Dollars In Lab Overcharges

    Five years ago, Companion DX Reference Lab hoped to cash in on cutting-edge genetic tests paid for by Medicare.

    But the lab went bust last year after Medicare ordered it to repay more than $16 million for genetic tests health officials said were not needed.

    Companion Dx is one of at least six clinical labs mired in bankruptcy court after Medicare alleged they improperly billed the government for unnecessary urine, genetic or heart disease tests expected to cause hundreds of millions dollars in losses to taxpayers, an investigation by Kaiser Health News found.

    As the nation’s bill for drug and genetic tests has climbed to an estimated $8.5 billion a year, there’s mounting suspicion among health insurers that some testing may do more to boost profit margins than help treat patients.

    1. Lachowsky

      Nobody can piss away money like government.

      1. Give me the money and I’ll accept that challenge!

    2. Drake

      That is how bankruptcy works – when your debts exceed your ability to repay.

      A lot more small labs are going to end up shut down or sold to the big players as PAMA rates get cut over the next few years.

    3. My erstwhile GP did this shit. Every single time I’d go in he’d order a blood test. Once he ordered two re-tests with no explanation. I only found out because the lab fucked up the billing code and my insurance company declined payment, so I got the bill.

      1. Drake

        I’m guessing it was going to a lab he owned or was getting kickbacks from. There are some very shady practices in that industry.

        1. spqr2008

          Absolutely. A high school friend, who is now a pediatrician, now has a paper she has to fill out to justify blood tests, because her former supervisor at the hospital she worked at (who was a health care professional, not a doctor) got kickbacks for having a certain number of billed tests. Luckily that lady was fired, but now to make sure the doctors aren’t doing the same thing, they have to e-mail their charts to the new supervisor (who is a doctor) as well as the one page form.

          1. kbolino

            There was an interesting bit in one of the pieces on net neutrality linked the other day. It said, in effect, it’s easy to see the direct positive outcomes of enacting a new rule/regulation, but it’s hard to see the negative higher-order consequences. Most of the time, what is actually called for in response to an abuse is vigilance. But it’s easier to create a rule/regulation (or pass a new law) than it is to be watchful. Plus, it acts like a get out of jail free card to bureaucrats. “Oh, you enacted a rule! Well, that’s settled, then.”

          2. Drake

            Of course, the only way a doctor can be controlled this way is because she’s a hospital employee and they are forcing their docs to only use the hospital lab. It’s next to impossible to control an independent physician practice that way (labs and health plans have tried).

          3. spqr2008

            It’s because the practice she currently works for is tied to the hospital, and has a contract to do the bureaucratic crap the hospital does (since she’s $100K in student debt for now, her 5 year plan is to get out of debt, and she and Surgeon Hubby open a private practice).

      2. AlexinCT

        While this sounds hinky Bill, I can also see that your GP is one of these guys frightened to death that if he isn’t ultra cautious, someone will sue the shit out of him for missing something. My GP used to double and triple check stuff too, at great cost to myself and the insurance company who quickly wanted to pass it off to me, until I told him if he needed me to sign something saying I was OK with a single test result for my family members (the people going in were the wife and kid) and wouldn’t try to sue him into riches if somehow not retesting caused him to miss something.

  26. PieInTheSKy

    26-year-olds face challenges as they fall off parents’ health insurance

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/12/13/news/economy/young-adults-health-insurance/index.html?sr=twCNN121317economy0243PMStory

    Marguerite Moniot felt frustrated and flummoxed. Despite the many hours she had spent in front of the computer this year reading consumer reviews of health insurance plans offered on the individual market in Virginia, she still did not know what plan was right for her.

    HAHA i have free healthcare (as long as I don’t need any). But seriously, at 26 you should eb able to make such decisions, and also vote for politicians who do not over-complicate shit with stupid regulations.

    1. LJW

      Waaaa I’ve been an adult for 8 years. Pay for my health care waaaaa. *Sent from my iPhone X.

    2. At 26 I was moved out and employed.

      What are these losers doing?

      1. leonadasiv

        At 26 I’ve moved out, employed, married, have two kids and expecting a third. Yeah you can be an adult by 26.

        1. So, a Small Mormon family?

          1. leonadasiv

            Yes.

        2. Drake

          Yep – I had earned by BA, fought in a war, was living with my fiance and working on my Master’s degree.

          1. AlexinCT

            Had an MS in EE (BS EE/AE), had served my time so Uncle Sam would feel OK they paid for that education, working, had just gotten married, was on my first private sector job doing AE/EE modeling with a security clearance, managed to collect 5 patents to my name, and was making a ton of money as a software architect/developer consultant. I had been dying to leave the home since I was 15, and my parents were great parents willing to do anything to help the kids.

            Most kids today are afraid of their own shadow and have been conditioned to be dependents from their first day of school.

          2. C. Anacreon

            At 26 I already had my MD, was in my residency, which I’d moved 2,000 miles away from home to take on (and I still live in the same area over 30 years later). But residents are poorly paid, so I lived in a modest apartment with a roommate. Still had plenty of money to go out on the town almost every free night (I can’t believe, in retrospect, how much energy you have in your 20s!) I had many friends who were married with good jobs, and others who had just finished law school, dental or medical school. I didn’t know anyone living in Mom’s basement. Many of my friends from college already had kids and owned houses.

            How in just 30 years did we go from that world to a point that someone 26 is considered too young to take off their parents’ health insurance?

          3. AlexinCT

            I would posit that we are here by design. The education system was rigged to produce these snowflakes that think communism is a good thing and that they are owed for having been born. The entertainment world seems to spit out junk directed at turning kids into permanent dependents, and so many parents are fine going along with this shit because it makes them woke.

            If I had a dime for every idiot at work that has told me how me their snowflake can’t get up in the morning to make it to work on time at what now amounts to their umpteenth new job as their barista or such similar job, and they are worried the loan they cosigned for junior’s 5 or more year stint to earn a bachelors in some obscure and totally unemployable, or worse, over-saturated discipline where you have 20 applicants for every open position, I would be a loaded. And you would be surprised how many of these people tell you they wish they had had the same opportunity to mooch of their parents. It is not accidental that these parents are all proggies and that too often, right after complaining about their kids and the troubles around that, double down on policies, ideas, and things that promote more of this dependency cycle and the belief that they are owed something merely for being born. Somehow they are unable to see the cause and effect of their own stupid beliefs.

      2. Tundra

        ‘Curating’.

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        MIldewing

      4. trshmnstr

        Playing their helicopter parents for the fools that they are.

        I have high school classmates (I’m 29) who are still utterly reliant on mommy and daddy for subsistence.

        Meanwhile, my autistic 26 year old family friend has his own place, a steady job, and only requires minimal financial assistance from his parents.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Definitely. Definitely not my house. Definitely.

      5. Brett L

        At 26 I had moved out 3 times and back in twice. But I never moved back in again.

        1. DOOMco

          17-19- out of the house.
          19- a brief stay back home.
          19-20- locksmith school
          20- a brief stay back home.
          20-26- out of the house.
          currently back home, for a brief stay. Should be back out by spring.

        2. There’s no shame in living with family if needs must, that’s not unusual at all. But the key is whether or not you’re a.) contributing to the household, and b.) working on a plan to move forward. Or, of course, c.) doing it to care for people who aren’t able to do for themselves anymore.

          1. spqr2008

            I may be living with the parents for a while next year, so that I can have some flexibility to move when I find a better job (no need to break a lease). They will be charging me nominal rent (to help pay property taxes), for food, and I take care of utilities for their guest cabin (where I will stay). It’s going to seriously suck, especially because a lot of my free time will likely be spent taking care of their community’s needs (my dad is one of the youngest men living there, at 61, and one of the most handy, and also chair of the roads committee, YAY Gravel!)

          2. DOOMco

            this sounds a lot like my situation. I like splitting wood and plowing the road in winter though, so it’s not so bad.

          3. spqr2008

            I don’t mind the work, as long as the reward is I get home cooked meals…. and most of the leftovers.

    3. straffinrun

      “Coming out … and saying prices are going up, choice is going down and this law is a mess doesn’t really get at the young adult population.”

      The threat a government gun carries more weight.

    4. LJW

      “The ACA made coverage more affordable and accessible.”

      Umm wat?

      1. It is infuriating how false this is, and at the same time, how willing ACA proponents are to whitewash over insane premium hikes under ACA and then moan about the removal of the individual mandate.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I’d imagine the subsidies make it pretty affordable to a load of people, just so long as you don’t actually have to use it. Congratulations, you’re paying for an insurance card. Just don’t try to call any of the numbers on it.

    5. Just a thought not a sermon

      “the many hours she had spent in front of the computer this year reading consumer reviews of health insurance plans offered on the individual market in Virginia”

      A 26-year-old did this? I hope they found a good plan, because this is not healthy behavior for a young person.

    6. Suthenboy

      Really? They are going to make an emotional appeal for single payer by playing violins for 26 yo babies in diapers?

      Here is the world’s tiniest violin…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdofmoYcJNE

    7. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Reading reviews of what? Most regions have only one provider. She must be in the DC alternate reality plane.

  27. Private Chipperbot

    Detroit election clerk so bad that recount in her own race can’t be completed.

    But the chaos serves her own interests very well. Not being able to recount the tainted ballots, particularly those cast by absentee voters, thwarted a recount by her challenger in the November election, Garland Gilchrist II…Similar problems occurred in Detroit in the 2016 presidential election, when a recount of Michigan was started and then stopped. That recount could not have gone reliably forward because so many ballots in Detroit were spoiled.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      spoiled. like rotten fruit?

      1. leonadasiv

        You don’t send the your votes in on produce?

      2. commodious spittoon

        You just chad to go there.

        1. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

          I should hang you for that pun.

    2. Social Justice is Neither

      No evidence of election fraud can be found anywhere. Nothing to see here folks.

      Seriously, if this isn’t election fraud by every member of in oversight writ large then nothing is.

  28. For the car nuts: The best Nürburgring fails of the year

    It’s December! So ‘tis the season to be jolly… and laugh at people falling off the Nürburgring. Oh yes, it’s that time of year where your social media feeds are filled with nothing but compilations and top ten lists. Well, here’s another one. A particularly crashy one.

    1. DOOMco

      heh. always fun

    2. Tundra

      Everyone thinks they can drive…

      1. trshmnstr

        OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED DOES NOT THINK HIS WIFE CAN DRIVE! FIRST, IT IS AN AFFRONT TO ALLAH! SECOND, SHE IS TOO SMALL TO REACH THE PEDALS!

        1. Too STEVE SMITH. Mix in some lowercase.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      Speaking of cars, Grand Tour is out on Prime. 1st episode was fun, 2nd comes out tonight.

  29. DEG

    Manley said the convenience store’s security camera captured the full incident. Manley said the department will not release the video while the investigation into the incident is ongoing.

    Ahh… the old “we need to get our story straight” gambit.

  30. Rufus the Monocled

    Interesting how those thugs posing as cops lured him into the corner like that. Makes me wonder.

    Then they wonder why public confidence is eroding and criticism on the rise. They can’t seem to grasp that when their actions go unpunished, people notice and it will manifest itself in all sorts of ways because the bosses who are supposed to dole out punishment aren’t doing it. There’s no way in hell citizens are going to tolerate loved ones be beaten up or killed for stupid reasons like, say, shoplifting.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    “All female actresses attending the Globes are protesting by just wearing black gowns,” a source told PEOPLE in response to rumours that female stars were planning to challenge the current status quo.

    Short ones, I hope. Really, really short black dresses, with plunging necklines; open in the back, all the way down to the curve of their taut, firm buttocks.

    That’ll show me.

    1. gbob

      If they really want to teach us a lesson, they should protest by not wearing anything, to show us that they’re not just there to be ogled at with sexy outfits. By parading around nude, they’ll indicate that they own their own sexuality.

      Then they should all oil wrestle. I’m not sure how to frame it as a protest against men making sexual comments, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something.

      1. The Last American Hero

        1. Wrestling is traditionally dominated by males, and the use of oil when wrestling goes back to the ancient world – glass ceiling shattered.

        2. The act of wrestling itself is symbolic of the struggle of women against the patriarchy, and how sometimes it’s other women that prevent each other from being able to advance in a male dominated world.

    2. OH NOES, NOT THAT!

    3. TK

      The thing is, they probably will. As if men gave a shit about the color of the dresses. It ain’t about the color of the dress, ladies.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      That’ll show me

      Jokes on you. Odds are Merril Streep will participate due to Albert Brooks groping her on the set of Defend Your Life and she isn’t what she was in 80’s…

  32. PieInTheSKy

    Ancient Greenland Shark Dated to 512: Here Are the World’s Other Oldest Creatures

    http://www.newsweek.com/ancient-greenland-shark-dated-512-here-are-worlds-other-oldest-creatures-748151

    1. gbob

      Fake news. OMWC didn’t make the list.

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      How come Hob Gadling’s not on the list?

      1. Rasilio

        He keeps it on the DL in case Death changes her mind

    3. straffinrun

      I think we may be the only people on the planet reading NEWSWEEK articles.

      1. RBS

        I will admit that I am a sucker for fluff articles like this. It’s a nice break from the usual bullshit.

      2. leonadasiv

        Just like how it it weren’t for derpatoligist, many Lefty sites would be out of business.

    4. RBS

      They should have named the tortoise STEVE SMITH

    5. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If it was dated to the year 512 then I’d be impressed.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Yesterday, I saw a Montana-issued Gadsden Flag license plate. Rattlesnake on the left, “Don’t tread on me” at the bottom. Those people at the DMV will do anything for money, I guess.

    1. Tundra

      I can get one here with a Lady Slipper on it…

      1. Not Adahn

        Your fetishes are your own business…

    2. That stikes me as inappropriate for a government-issued tag.

    3. straffinrun

      You’ve probably seen this one around. I don’t think these people know what the Gadsen Flag stands for.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Setting a new low in intellectual discourse every day is reddit’s business goal.

        1. DEG

          Yeah, notice the guy that got downvoted:

          To be honest the net neutrality was created by Obama. This allows sites to govern and censor only their political,spiritual, feel good of the day views. It keeps google as a main ideology to get knowledge. Even though google doesn’t pull from all sources and display them. As they should. Ending this will stop this. They will have no choice but to gather all items on a subject and display them as they should.

      2. Suthenboy

        *facepalm*

        No words

      3. Just Say’n

        I always preferred the ‘Appeal to Heaven’ flag.

    4. Chipwooder

      Virginia has a Gadsden flag plate, too.

      1. trshmnstr

        I paid the $10 for that plate. It cancels out the fact that I drive a hybrid.

    1. leonadasiv

      Hey, I wonder why dressing like a cop and shaking people down is so effective?

    2. WTF

      Just like real cops.

  34. Yesterday I finished watching the first season of Stranger Things.

    WTF happened to Winona Ryder? I used to want to do bad, bad things to her – back in the late 80s/early 90s. Then I looked her up and she’s only a year younger than me. *feels bad*

    Damn time flies.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Doesn’t matter. Still want.

    2. Yeah man. Y’all bust on those of us who appreciate chicks with a bit of meat on their bones, but I’m just sayin’, when your thigh-gap skeleton girls get older, they look like they’re in the process of being mummified. I’m not saying that the obese age well either, but a smidge of baby fat makes a person look younger.

    3. The Last American Hero

      +1 garden maze scene in Dracula

  35. Just Say’n

    I don’t really have a strong opinion about Paul Ryan, but Jimmy Kimmel (probably the most ignorant man to ever opine on politics in the history of this country) is fucking un-hinged.

    https://twitter.com/jimmykimmel/status/941418778071506944

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DRDmLtmU8AArwze.jpg:large

    When did everyone start hating Paul Ryan? This reminds me of something that a co-worker told me recently- “The Democrats would be declaring this presidency illegitimate even if it were John Kasich as president. Hysteria is their bread and butter.” I think that’s right.

    1. Just Say’n

      FYI- Our moral compass, Jimmy Kimmel, abandoned his first wife and two kids once he became famous

      1. leonadasiv

        Unpossible, he cried about his baby in TV. ON TV!

      2. RBS

        Don’t forget his continuous use of his kid as a political prop.

      3. They’ve been told over and over and over for decades that conservatives/libertarians/anyone right of Lenin is subhuman. I hate to Godwin things right off the bat, but it’s a solid tactic to whip your followers into a fanatical frenzy. The Dem overlords understand that the more emotional their base is, and they less they think, the better they do. No better way to do it than convince the base that their political opponents are simultaneously Evil Overlords and Vermin to be exterminated.

        1. kbolino

          The Dem overlords understand that the more emotional their base is, and they less they think, the better they do.

          There is a limit to this, in the sense that once the frenzy reaches a certain point, it will eat everyone and everything without regard to party affiliation. Do it “right” and you get LBJ. Do it wrong and you get Robespierre.

          1. Brett L

            I’m thinking we’re getting more French Revolution, less American Revolution in the current wave, too.

      4. Akira

        Isn’t Jimmy Kimmel trying to be some kind of super-woke SJW now?

        I seem to recall a little program called The Man Show way back in the day…

        1. kbolino

          It’s funny that Kimmel’s shift seems to be correlated with getting married and having kids. It’s just a new form of puritan moral crusading.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      He’s still mad about Ryan pushing granny off a cliff.

      1. leonadasiv

        Assisted suicide, so really Ryan is Avant guard.

      2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

        To protect her from the terrible secret of politics?

    3. ::makes whiny plea to audience about political issue with a fake tremble::

    4. Chipwooder

      Of course they would. They turned Mitt Romney, a squishy centrist who was arguably the most mild-mannered, milquetoast presidential candidate in living memory, into some kind of crazed far-right caricature with blood dripping from his fangs. They actually made a national news story out of a teenaged Mittens forcibly cutting some kid’s hair in 1965. That’s how fucking deranged these people are.

  36. Let’s hope these ladies never have to forfeit their assets.

    http://archive.is/M1xEM

    1, 4, 5, 7, 29, 35

    1. straffinrun

      They’re all mine. Sorry guys.

      1. DEG

        Welcome to the cult.

    2. Just Say’n

      You’ve out done yourself Q. This is fine work

    3. DEG

      #1 is Francoise Boufhal. #18 is Scarlett Johansson. #24 is Penelope Cruz.

      #5 has the right idea for the gowns actresses should wear for whatever awards ceremony is mentioned up above.

      #2 reminds me of a woman I asked out and got shot down by (in other words, she proved she has good taste in men).

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Wonder what #2 looks like 12 years later. Inquiring minds and all…

    4. creech

      Each and every one of them a Virgin. If you don’t believe me, ask OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED.

    5. Almost didn’t make it past #1, but #8 made the struggle worthwhile.

    6. Tundra

      7 and 35 are both winners!

  37. invisible furry hand

    Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be getting married on May 19. I think matching his ‘n’ hers STEVE SMITH SAYS RELAX would be a lovely gift. Who wants to come in with me?

    1. leonadasiv

      “Who wants to come in with me?”

      You can’t fool me STEVE SMITH.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Welfare queens

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’d like to offer my congratulations to those ultrarich government money leaches.

    4. RBS

      I’m in.

    5. Naw, get them a one-way trip to R’lyeh for their honeymoon.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Rethuglitards hate you, and want you to die penniless in a gutter of an easily curable disease

    So there you have it. In 27 years, Republicans have passed one popular conservative law and spent most of that time voting against things that clear majorities of Americans wanted. If they weren’t serving Americans, whom were they serving? And how have they gotten away with it?

    The answers to both questions, alas, are depressingly familiar. They are serving their megarich donors and the most extreme elements of their base. And they get away with it because of the way they’ve gerrymandered House districts, because of an ideological right-wing media that obfuscates facts and because the one thing they’ve done astonishingly well is to make a big chunk of the country hate liberals.

    When will we get our instantaneous-democracy-by phone-poll? Fire the Congress and Senate, and have Richard Dawson host a call-in show to create laws and set economic policy.

    Why do Republikkkins hate fairness?

    1. robc

      ideological right-wing media

      Ummm…yeah.

      That is one of the signs of someone to ignore.

      1. ideological right-wing media

        *spits coffee across keyboard*

    2. leonadasiv

      “And they get away with it because of the way they’ve gerrymandered House districts, because of an ideological right-wing media that obfuscates facts and because the one thing they’ve done astonishingly well is to make a big chunk of the country hate liberals”

      Wow there is just so much:
      1 gerrymandering: yes it’s BS, both sides do it, but you cannot gerrymander a presidential election (except Maine and Nebraska.)

      2. Right wing media: seek help, please.

      3. “astonishingly well is to make a big chunk of the country hate liberals”:
      You give them to much credit and not enough to yourself.

      1. robc

        you cannot gerrymander a presidential election (except Maine and Nebraska.)

        The one change to the electoral college that I favor is making every state adopt the ME-NE plan.

        I hadnt thought about the gerrymandering aspect, but I still don’t care, I favor that.

        1. leonadasiv

          You still get the two Senate votes, so there is a small counter balance.

        2. robc

          Trump won 230 congressional districts and 30 states.
          Clinton won 205 and 20.

          By that plan, Trump would have won 290-245 instead of 304-227-7 as under the current system.

          1. robc

            Final results for anyone who didnt follow it:
            Trump 304
            Clinton 227
            Colin Powell 3
            Faith Spotted Eagle 1
            John Kasich 1
            Ron Paul 1
            Bernie Sanders 1

          2. Just Say’n

            I can’t believe Ron Paul lost that shit

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            It’s happening!

    3. Just Say’n

      “The answers to both questions, alas, are depressingly familiar. They are serving their megarich donors and the most extreme elements of their base.”

      Why are the five richest counties in this country staunchly Democratic?

      1. leonadasiv

        Those are the good rich people. The ones who got rich via public service.

    4. invisible finger

      “Rethuglitards hate you, and want you to die penniless in a gutter of an easily curable disease”

      They left out “tomorrow”.

    5. thepasswordispassword

      So just to be clear, these donors and extreme elements of their base are not Americans?

  39. Just Say’n

    http://babylonbee.com/news/jesus-criticized-culturally-appropriating-human-nature/

    Can we talk about how Jesus appropriated human culture?

    1. leonadasiv

      I mean he was the Son if an all knowing God, what would he know of pain and suffering. /ignores all of Christan theology.

    2. Suthenboy

      I cant decide if that is parody or not.

      1. That is a humor site.

      2. Pine_Tree

        The Babylon Bee is one of the best parody sites out there.

        1. Pine_Tree

          or satire, whatever. Either way, go read some.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    When did everyone start hating Paul Ryan?

    Krugabe never misses a chance to accuse Ryan of being the Devil incarnate. Because he (Dr K) is fruitier than a nutcake.

    1. Just Say’n

      “Oh my God, Paul Ryan makes his staff read ‘Atlas Shrugged’! Literally Hitler!”

      – Former Enron adviser (not a joke), Paul Krugman

      1. RBS

        The smartest guy in the room.

        1. Just Say’n

          Seriously, if Gary Becker or the now maligned James Buchanan or any free-market economist had been an adviser to Enron we would never hear the end of it.

          1. tarran

            The free market supporter, Robert Bradly Jr, who now runs The Master Resource Blog, was Enron’s chief scientist for a time.

            He fought against the accounting scam and tried to persuade Ken Lay to stop basing his business on regulatory capture and instead re-purpose the business towards pleasing customers. Consequently he was sidelined and asked to resign.

            Nonetheless, whenever he makes too much noise, they smear him for his association with Enron. As if he supported the very swindles he opposed. As if he supported the regulatory environment that enabled and encouraged the swindles instead of opposing it. As if that regulatory environment isn’t the very one they support and want to foist upon us in all areas of commerce.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s a self-loathing dude that snapped her up.

      1. Drake

        Won’t have to worry about her cheating.

    2. Festus

      As a gun-shot survivor, I don’t think that it’s ethical to print a story like that. #triggered.

    3. DEG

      something, something, something about crazy? What is was that saying?

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Poor lady.

    5. Damn, her appearance reminds me of Gary Oldman’s depiction of Mason Verger character from the film adaptation of Hannibal.

      Note to self: don’t commit suicide with a revolver, because Preet needs a pretty corpse to rape at the morgue.

      1. Brett L

        I knew a guy who did that with a rifle. Put the gun under his chin and tilted his head too far back. Blew his jaw off, missed anything vital.

    6. Holy shit. I mean, all’s well and so forth, but Christ almighty. Whenever you think it’s time to check out, maybe give it ten, fifteen minutes and see if you can’t come up with a plan B.

      1. trshmnstr

        WHEN IT IS TIME FOR OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED TO “CHECHNYA OUT”, HE WILL DO SO AS A SOLDIER OF JIHAD!!

        1. God damn, I am so happy that OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED has legs. Literally and metaphorically, may the Prophet (PBUH) be praised.

  41. Just Say’n

    https://aleteia.org/blogs/the-anchoress/chilling-watch-the-last-downer-hear-how-much-money-he-costs-society/

    Our cultural betters in Europe. “Eugenics is so chic. It’s all the rage in Europe”

    1. leonadasiv

      When they said socialists take care of those that can’t take care of themselves, I didn’t think they meant like this.

      1. Festus

        When Dad said that he’d take care of that litter of puppies when you were seven?

        1. leonadasiv

          Yes, the ones that he took to the farm.

  42. Festus

    OT – Webdom’s Anus Candy post got nowhere near enough love. It was excellent and had plenty of wormholes to deaden your day if you’re a working cocksucker.

    1. Just Say’n

      She…literally just made an argument…against net neutrality.

      1. “…you realize that repealing Net Neutrality makes what you’re describing no longer possible, right?”

    2. That’s a big ol’ can of stupid that got opened. Too bad it’s not unique or a one-off.

      1. Count Potato

        Yes, you have to give her credit for being consistently stupid.

        1. Rhywun

          But the Republican party controls all the KKKorporashuns!

  43. PieInTheSKy

    Can Domino’s new ‘brain food’ pizza really enhance your mind?

    But not all nutritionists are convinced by the claims

    http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/dominos-brain-food-pizza-enhance-mind-how-fast-food-anchovies-focus-students-a8105491.html

    I am going to go with no

    1. Festus

      All this Kale chowing for no good reason. Full disclosure, it’s grown in my garden but I eat it the same way that I shave my whiskers, under protest and without exuberance. Eat ground up green army men for health, shave to not look like Steve Bannon. The “Hobo” is not a good look for a man that drinks as heavily as I like to do.

      1. Brett L

        Kale is plate decoration, not food.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          You’re just wrong.

          *munches on artisanal kale oatmeal wheatberry cookie*

          *shits brick suitable for a concrete block wall*

          1. DOOMco

            IPA’s make for a good insulator! and you can use the recycled glass to make lamps!

      2. I like kale, but just because I like it. We grow it in the yard. If you take a bunch of kale and tear it into medium-sized pieces, toss it in olive oil and a little sea salt, then stick it in a low oven for a few minutes it crisps up like seaweed-flavored potato chips if you’re into that sort of thing.

    2. Anchovies, Chicken, Red peppers, Red onions, Black olives, Mushrooms, Jalapeños, Tomato, Sweetcorn, Herbs

      I would eat the shit out of this pizza, preferably not made by Domino’s. But hell, I’ll even eat trash pizza when push comes to shove.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    So, anyway-

    This song comes on, yesterday, as I’m driving. I sort of remember it, it’s kind of a pop-y song but I have no idea who sings it, or what the actual lyrics are.

    In my head, I was hearing the refrain as, “I’m not here to argue / I just want to fuck”.

    Reminded me of my last (final) visit to the ex-girlfriend’s house.

    1. Farewell sex is almost as good as reunion sex.

      1. Rasilio

        err, says you. Last time I had farewell sex I had to fake the orgasm

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I knew it!

  45. Gadfly

    Best. Excuse. Ever.

    It would be a fair excuse in different circumstances, but when the accusation is that you had porn of black children on your computer the part you should really focus your denial on is “I don’t find children attractive” not “I don’t find black people attractive”. That he went with the excuse he went with really should raise some red flags.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      *whoosh*

  46. A Leap at the Wheel

    How many corporations can you count spending money on advertising / lobbying against net neutrality?

    How many proggies are “Joining the Cause!”

    How many proggies were against Citizens United again?

    1. DOOMco

      ooh, that’s a good one!
      i might have to post that as well, see if I can shed a few “friends”

      1. Festus

        Yep. It’s the usual suspects that are rheeeing out. I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other because ignorance but if it pisses the right people off, I’m sanguine.

  47. Just Say’n
    1. Rhywun

      That’s awesome. Force the fuckers to see exactly how stupid “hate crime” is and exactly where it will lead.

      Will they learn?

  48. Ken Shultz

    “Free Speech” Observation 1: If the government isn’t involved in the internet, then the internet isn’t “free”.

    “Free Speech” Observation 2: If people are getting paid to speak, then the government has a legitimate role in policing what people say.

    Stars offer their fans on Instagram, Facebook and other platforms what might seem like an unscripted glimpse into their daily lives, complete with products and brand mentions—but sometimes without disclosing that companies have paid them in cash, goods or services.

    Regulators say such financial rewards—even those given to influencers without explicit demands in return—can run afoul of long-standing rules against deceptive marketing if they aren’t disclosed. Authorities in the U.S., the U.K., France and elsewhere are policing social media in hopes of catching potential offenders.

    The FTC contacted supermodel Naomi Campbell to ask about any financial ties to Globe-Trotter, a luxury luggage brand mentioned in an Instagram post. Ms. Campbell response was that she didn’t have any. [Ken Shultz: The truly appropriate response would have been, “Fuck off, slaver!”]

    The Federal Trade Commission in September sent warning letters to 21 social-media influencers asking them to disclose any financial arrangements with brands mentioned in recent posts on Instagram.

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/social-media-influencers-get-noticed-by-regulators-1513342801

    “Free Speech” Observation 3: More or less, fewer government regulators of speech means less “freedom”.

    “Trump Job Cuts at Education Department Worry Civil-Rights Advocates”

    The government office that responds to such issues as sexual harassment and racial discrimination is losing significant numbers of employees

    —Link to Follow

    “Free Speech” Observations 1 + 2 + 3 = Free Speech is something the government gives us.

    We have a pervasive problem with people not understanding the true definition of free speech, which is about the absence of government interference, and the problem goes all the way up to and through the press.

    I blame people like Robby.

    When people say “freedom of speech” anymore, it’s hard to understand what they’re talking about.

    1. Festus

      “Freedom of Speech” battles seem to boil down to my freedom to shut down your speech that I don’t like. I don’t want corporations or the gubmint stepping on that right so that’s why I can’t take a side on this issue.

    2. Suthenboy

      “it’s hard to understand what they’re talking about.”

      No, its not. Not at all.

      In a nutshell the government is punishing people. What is punishment? A means of controlling behavior, in this case speech.

      Remember the but rule. Robby’s arguments have more ‘to be sure’s than a stray dog has fleas.

      Also, should Trump slap the FTC down the same celebrities that benefit from it will still be screaming “Secret Nazi President!”

    3. “The government office that responds to such issues as sexual harassment and racial discrimination is losing significant numbers of employees”

      It’s a Christmas Miracle!

  49. Drake

    Speaking of election meddling:

    Mr. Orbán gets to the heart of the matter: he discusses the attempts by George Soros to influence the outcome of next spring’s general election in Hungary. The attempt to overthrow Mr. Orbán and the Fidesz government is being mounted due to Hungary’s steadfast refusal to accept a mandatory migrant resettlement quota imposed by Brussels.

    1. Soros is like a real life Bond villain.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      If Soros ever showed his face in Hungary, Macedonia, or one of the other Slavic countries fighting migration, he might not survive the experience.

  50. Nephilium

    Fuck!

    I forgot today was the stupid mandatory holiday party in the office. Looks like I’ll be going home for lunch and working from home the rest of the day to avoid that bullshit.

    1. Drake

      Merry Christmas Ebeneezer Fuck-Stick.

    2. Ken Shultz

      I’m always suspicious of the person who volunteers to put together the office Christmas party.

      That’s someone who doesn’t have enough to do.

      Memo to Personnel:

      Please collect Ms. Tunt’s performance reviews, with an exit date targeted for after the New Year*.

      Regards,

      Ken Shultz
      Management Guru

      *Well I’m not made of stone.

      1. trshmnstr

        I got roped into it this year. My boss got voluntold to head up the group putting the party on, and he took me down with him.

      2. commodious spittoon

        “Tum again?”

      3. ChipsnSalsa

        It’s the middle of the month so accounting has nothing to do right now.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      I went through the mandatory holiday party with bluetooth earbuds in my ears (barely visible unless you know they’re there), grabbed food and drink and then busted out at the first opportunity.

    4. You’re not going to stick around and sexually harass some women?

    5. We have ours today – but its cool. Bring in food, then boss heads to local watering hole where he will buy first round for any that want to tag along….then he says he expects 0 people to return to office.

      1. That’s pretty cool, time to get shitfaced on the company dime!

        1. I have a bit of a drive home…so I will limit it to two.

    6. TK

      Every year my boss and coworker ask me if I’m coming to the holiday party. Every year I say “I see you fuckers 5 days a week every single year. I’m not coming in on a Saturday.”

    7. At least you get to harass yourself.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    I cannot keep up with all this stuff. Are the Net Neutrality free-speechers aware in any way of the incompatibility of their righteous attempts to shut down anybody who says things they don’t like with a “free and open” internet? At some point the liberal whirling disease has to prove fatal.

    1. DOOMco

      my mother, about ten minutes apart.
      “without NN, some sites will be blocked! or at least you’ll be charged more for!”
      “I wouldn’t mind some right wing hate speech to be shut down and blocked online.”

  52. wchipperdove

    Inter-Office Memo

    IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE ETERNALLY BENEVOLENT AND MERCIFUL:

    THE ANNUAL C_____MAS PARTY WILL BE HELD THURSDAY EVENING DESPITE MY PREVIOUS MEMO BANNING THE OFFENSIVE AND BLASPHEMOUS GATHERING. THIS IS AT THE INSISTENCE OF ASST. OFFICE MANAGER GARY (PEACE BE UNTO HIM) WHO SAID THAT EMPLOYEE MORALE WOULD SUFFER IF WE DID NOT GO THRU WITH IT.

    NEVERTHELESS, ALL ALCOHOL IS BANNED. FOOD WILL ONLY BE SERVED AFTER SUNDOWN. SMALL GIFTS MAY BE EXCHANGED. WOMEN ARE EXHORTED NOT TO DRESS LIKE WHORES LEST THEIR BLOOD BE UPON THEM.

    THIS HUMBLE ONE LOOKS FORWARD TO SEEING EVERYONE AT THE EVENT.

    O.M.M./Debbie

    1. trshmnstr

      Haha, great minds think alike!I think you’ll enjoy my long form inter office memo when it gets posted in the next few days!

    2. Tundra

      Nice.

    3. We desperately need a “Debbie” spinoff series.

  53. OFFICE MANAGER MOHAMMED ordered new ergonomic chairs today. They have built in suicide vests.

  54. Likely posted already, but I’m too lazy to look. Razorfist on NN.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh8sVHb5oOA

    1. DOOMco

      how dare you, Q. I posted that late last night!
      nah. it’s a good one.

  55. The Other Kevin

    Where do you guys think this FBI/Russiagate thing is going? I don’t see them uncovering anything big against Trump, but the congressional investigations are now finding serious partisanship in the FBI, and now they found that Comey’s statement was changed from Clinton being “grossly negligent” (which indicates criminal activity) to “oopsie! my bad!” They already have evidence of real Russian collusion, only it’s the Dems trying to get dirt on Trump via Russians.

    Can/will these congressional panels do anything about this? Or will it be yet another disappointment? I’d love to see some shady partisans in power go down for this.

    1. Drake

      The irony of the people who tried to meddle in an election investigating election meddling is starting to make it into the mainstream.

      1. The Other Kevin

        That takes some major balls, to assume nobody will find out about it. Although, if Hillary had one, nobody would know about it.

        Everything I’m reading about this is coming from the right. Is the MSM ignoring this, or spinning it in some way?

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        They were counting on winning the election and then their illegal activities would be inconsequential as they swept it all under the rug. When Trump won, they had to put a push on to misdirect attention away and/or try to pin it on Trump. I think it was a desperate gamble to try to avoid getting nailed for their misdeeds. In reality, it was just the same arrogance they displayed during the election and will come back to bite them in the ass.

        1. The Other Kevin

          God, I hope it will bite them in the ass.

          1. commodious spittoon

            I’m certain Trump will preempt any bombshell revealing Putin-DNC collusion with some absurd tweet, probably poorly worded and easily misinterpreted as racist against blacks.

    2. kbolino

      Can/will these congressional panels do anything about this?

      The House will likely go after it like a rabid dog, but without the support of the Senate, they won’t get much done.

      1. I agree. The Senate is too divided to do anything even if the political will existed. The House will raise hell, but what can they really do? There isn’t a scenario where any big DNC player winds up doing time. Best-case scenario, I think maybe various reports are released and the Clinton machine is forever dismantled, which isn’t a bad ending, really.

    3. TK

      As far as it relates to Trump, I think the dems have figured out that it won’t affect him in any meaningful way. That’s why they’re shifting the #metoo movement to focus on him. If that doesn’t work, they’ll pick some other way to target him.

    4. Dr. Fronkensteen

      What I don’t understand is why the presumption that the Russians needed to collude with anyone to try to affect the election. They could have hacked the DNC e-mails and delivered them to Wikileaks on their own. They put up the Facebook ads on their own. This is assuming they hacked into the e-mails which I’m still not %100 convinced they did.

      1. grrizzly

        The “collusion” was necessary to justify spying on the Trump campaign by the Obama administration/FBI/DOJ. Due to NSA snooping it is easy for the government to get access to the records of foreign nationals but there are some protections in place for US citizens. But if there’s a “link” between US citizens (Trump people) and foreigners (Russians) then the federal government can spy on domestic political opponents and claim that it’s technically not violating the law.

    5. The Last American Hero

      I predict the thing fizzles out when it becomes clear that Obama will be implicated in connection with the unmasking and so they will claim Flynn’s scalp as some sort of minor victory.

      See also, Libby, Scooter.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    Genius!

    If low wages are indeed inhibiting productivity, what can we do about it? A large corporate tax cut is unlikely to help. In an economy in which large firms enjoy market power while workers have none, such cuts will raise stock prices and dividends rather than wages and investment. Big increases in the minimum wage would certainly give companies an incentive to automate, but at the cost of jobs for the most vulnerable workers.

    A better strategy would be to shift power from companies to workers, to allow workers to bargain for a bigger share of the gains from growth. Keeping companies from getting too big and too dominant would make a difference by increasing the number of companies competing for workers and the competitive pressure they face to maximize worker output.

    Making it easier for workers to unionize would improve productivity, too. A strong labor movement, were one magically to appear, could bargain for higher pay, potentially pushing firms to invest in workers and new technology.

    He threw me a curve ball; when he started talking about raising labor costs to encourage efficient use of labor, I thought he was going to plug the $15 minimum wage, but he veered off into “NEEDZ MOAR UNIONZ” land.

    What a dope. Also, increased productivity can’t fix utterly unfulfillable pension commitments, when demographics are killing the goose who lays the golden eggs.

    Ryan Avent is a senior editor at The Economist and the author of “The Wealth of Humans.”

    The Economist has been completely overrun by idjits.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      If low wages are indeed inhibiting productivity

      How about NO on that. We can stop there.

      1. If low wagesunskilled low value laborers are indeed inhibiting productivity

        Fixed it for him.

    2. Chipwooder

      When I think “highly productive”, I think unions. Absolutely.

      1. kbolino

        Look, just because they gutted Detroit and crippled the American automotive industry for decades doesn’t mean they aren’t productive! Why, they’re almost as productive as a plague of locusts.

    3. kbolino

      If low wages are indeed inhibiting productivity

      What? Some of the greatest feats of engineering were constructed on wages that would be seen as unjust pittances in modern terms, adjusted for inflation. The only connection between wages and productivity is that, ideally, more productive employees get paid more than less productive ones, within an endeavor. Money doesn’t magically create productivity.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Exactly, wages follow productivity, not the other way around.

        1. kbolino

          It’s amazing how much of modern “economics” is just statistical cargo culting.

    4. This is just some labor theory of value shit put in a blender and regurgitated as something different. Lefties haven’t had any original ideas since the 20s.

    5. “In an economy in which large firms enjoy market power while workers have none,”

      What did you do with my gig economy!!!????!

    6. Suthenboy

      Isnt this the same old marxist horseshit we have been hearing for 150 years? Every field has its perpetual motion machine.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    the congressional investigations are now finding serious partisanship in the FBI

    You misspelled PATRIOTISM!

    Those FBI guys regret they have but one career to give to their Party.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Johns Hopkins is $54k. That’s 4x what it was 25 years ago.

    2. kbolino

      Is it bad that my first thought was “that’s it?”

    3. At that rate, classes should be one on one.

    4. Also, what is the deal with “sex week”, “sexuality workshops” etc.? When I was in college I didn’t need an instruction manual on how to have sex…

      1. People stuck in academia are even more juvenile than their students.

      2. kbolino

        Something, something, phony baloney jobs, something, sweet sweet lucre.

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Universities are mini-models of totalitarian communist states. All evil thoughts must be purged.

      4. Suthenboy

        Have you read Brave New World?

    5. The Other Kevin

      I keep thinking of those endowments. These big universities are sitting on billions of dollars. They could afford to give everyone free tuition. Instead they are bitching about how the tax bill is going to hurt them. What a racket.

      1. kbolino

        They could afford to give everyone free tuition.

        Some of them do have endowments for this purpose, but large portions of most universities’ endowments don’t work like that. They’re often held in trusts outside the direct control of the university’s administration, they can only spend investment gains and not the principal (and in lean years they may have to reinvest some or all of their gains to meet growth targets), and their expenditures must be for specific purposes (research, athletics, facilities, etc.).

    6. Count Potato

      Does that include the leather outfits?

    7. Brett L

      Eh. As long as there are more people than seats, it will continue to go up. This does not mean that the quality of the brand will improve.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    Farewell sex is almost as good as reunion sex.

    Unfortunately, no sex was had. Just deceit and manipulation.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    The only connection between wages and productivity is that, ideally, more productive employees get paid more than less productive ones, within an endeavor. Money doesn’t magically create productivity.

    The shop steward would like a word with you.

    1. Brett L

      Cut out commission and see what happens to your sales.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    So, just a BJ?

    I

    got

    NOTHING.

    Just blue balls and a headache from the lecture.

    1. Paint spilled?

      (as an aside, there is a bronze statue of a tiger on the capus where I went to college. It is anatomically correct, and the most common vandalism is people painting its nethers blue)

      1. Ever fly into DIA?

        https://www.veteranstoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Denver-statue.jpg

        Its genitals are about as big as a person. Beyond the terrifying glowing eyes, it (no shit) killed its creator.

        1. I’ve not been west of the Mississipi yet.

          1. Well c’mon out, we’ll have a hootenanny!

          2. commodious spittoon

            HOO DANG WE GOT OURSELVES A CITY BOY.

    2. Tundra

      Lol. And you weren’t even married to her.

      SAD!

    3. Well, you *are* a man so it was your fault. #hertoo

  61. Unpossible. Women cannot sexually harass men, there must be some mistake.

    http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article189931704.html

    1. Tundra

      Ewww.

    2. AlexinCT

      The only woman to ever come close to sexually harassing me was the ugly fat one that told me she would let me do whatever I wanted to her because she was desperate for some man other than the usual yokels that used her a s a plat thing to pay attention to her for some reason. Guys are wired different than women when it comes to this. One thing to remember is that the innate solipsism that permeates the vast majority of women’s minds will allow them to take something they actually could have encouraged from a man years in the past, or even recently, and turn it into something bad, if they figure it will help them get something out of it. And not saying only women do this, but women seem to be real good at doing this when it comes to interaction between the sexes.

    3. Wow, what a plot twist!

      I had a very attractive woman sort-of come on to me at my previous place of work. Some thigh touching in meetings, handsy stuff. Once, on a biz trip, I got off the elevator on her floor accidentally, and she told me “I could come hang out with her.”

      I demurred, because she was married to a cop.

      1. Also forgot the client that called me “Cutie” in a meeting (and made other remarks) and that I reminded her of an ex-boyfriend. She was a large African-American woman.

        1. AlexinCT

          Oprah?

          1. I’m might’ve taken one for the team for some Big O cash, but alas, it was not her.

        2. The Last American Hero

          Tyler Perry?

  62. The Late P Brooks

    When I was in college I didn’t need an instruction manual on how to have sex…

    Nowadays, you need a team of observers, and a second, as if you intend a duel to the death.

    1. AlexinCT

      Don’t forget that you need some contract, in triplicate, saying it was consensual. Be careful with a video version of that, because she can claim it was involuntary, and then these people will throw your ass under the bus for daring to fuck with their agenda.

  63. The Late P Brooks

    It’s amazing how much of modern “economics” is just statistical cargo culting.

    And a complete reversal of cause and effect.

    1. AlexinCT

      How much of that is because common sense and basic economics seem so lacking these days in most people?

  64. Nutpunch Friday

    MIDDLETOWN, Ohio —
    A Middletown, Ohio mother of nine died of a heroin overdose, and police want to give her young children a better Christmas.

    Police were called to a house on Yankee Road on Wednesday and found Jimeta Sanders, 31, unresponsive on the kitchen floor.

    Authorities said she was shooting heroin with her “supposed ‘friends,’ who then in turn left her to die in front of her nine kids.”

    Police said the “friends” – described as two males — then stole her money and left the home, telling the children they were leaving to buy a 2-liter of soda.

    Police believe they were a father-son duo.

    God damn, nine kids. Never let it be said the woman wasn’t productive.

    1. Stop the world, I want to get off.

    2. Oh, man, you weren’t lying about the nutpunch, that was a tough one to get through. Good on those cops for trying to help.

      So, they mention a “hard-working” father. Where’s he in all this? Unmarried, or divorced and lost custody?

      1. Not an Economist

        He was at work.

  65. Akira

    OT: Just out of curiosity, is there a way to become another person, government identity-wise?

    I’m not talking about changing your name; I mean “disappearing” yourself and resurfacing as another person with all your identity papers in order (no forgeries or fakes) and no accessible paper trail back to your former identity.

    I remember reading that the French Foreign Legion (which takes foreigners) allows you to enlist under whatever name you want, and you can get French citizenship under that name by either serving 5 years or being injured in combat.

    If someone served in the FFL, became a French citizen, could they then immigrate to the United States as a new person (in a legal sense) with no connection to their former identity?

    1. Tundra

      Dude, just tell her you don’t want to see her anymore.

      Sheesh.

    2. AlexinCT

      I would ask Jason Bourne. He keeps doing that sort of shit.

    3. If someone served in the FFL, became a French citizen, could they then immigrate to the United States as a new person

      Pretty sure that one of the things that USCIS likes to see original proof of birth.

      1. TK

        Doesn’t a person’s mere existence serve as proof that they were born?

    4. I don’t think you could do that legally. It would probably be easiest to fake your own death, then apply for a new Social Security Card, Passport, etc. under a new name. Of course that would require a fake birth certificate so that kind of undercuts your no forgeries or fakes rule (on top of faking your own death being illegal). You could try your FFL thing if you want I guess. Let us know how it works out.

    5. kbolino

      It’s a bit murky, but from a couple of searches I did, it seems like you have to be serving under your real name to get French citizenship, although becoming français par le sang versé (French by spilled blood) is supposedly “instantaneous”. In any case, the Foreign Legion itself will know your true identity, and the U.S. or any other country will likely be able to find out that you served in the Foreign Legion, so they may demand to know your real identity before letting you obtain local residency/citizenship.

      1. kbolino

        Or, what Pomp said.

      2. kbolino

        Also, it seems like getting French citizenship without injury is not easy. You can *apply* for citizenship after 3 years of service but you may not get it for a few years, if at all. Moreover, they seem to take self-inflicted injuries very seriously (their motto is “honor and fidelity” after all) and you’ll probably end up permanently barred from French citizenship if you try that route.

    6. Tonio

      The only way to do this legally is to enter the federal witness protection program, which I assume isn’t an option.

      Since 9/11, the government has become hyper-vigilant about this sort of thing. If you get caught, you’re toast.

      From what I’ve read, the best way is to find someone born about the same time as you who died young, preferably in childhood (avoid anyone who died in the military). Get a copy of that person’s birth certificate and use that to slowly build an identity. But they are wise this and keep a watch for that.

      Good luck with whatever situation makes you need to pursue this.

    7. Akira

      Thanks for the interesting replies, y’all.

      I will stress that I’m not thinking of doing this; I was just wondering if such a thing is possible, and I may use it as a plot device in one of the stories that I sometimes attempt to write.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Depending on the place in time of your story, it would be possible.

    1. Hollywood is full of people with very weak sense of self, it’s no wonder they so easily fall into cults.

      1. AlexinCT

        And have no doubt this shit is all cultish.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      They had some woman on GMA this morning talking about she was aghast when she found out that the brand she had gotten as part of the initiation ritual included the initials of the cult founder. She thought it was all on the up and up prior to that.

      There are people out there who don’t have two brain cells to rub together.

  66. Count Potato

    “Cops Catfish Obese Gay College Student Then Arrest Him for Multiple Felonies”

    http://reason.com/blog/2017/12/14/cops-catfish-obese-gay-college-student

    TW: TOS, but I couldn’t resist quoting that headline.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      1. Obese and gay have nothing to do with it.

      2. If a 15 year old propositions you on the internet, you should fucking know better.

      3. ENB, I should have known.

      We can argue about the justness of the law separately and whether a 15 year old can legally consent, but the law is well established in this arena.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        There was no child here, so there should be no crime.

        Especially the way these catfishing schemes usually go, which is to claim the “child” is of age until very late in the process.

        1. How is this not entrapment?

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I’m willing to entertain that the cops have better things to do and that the punishment far outstrips the crime, if it were actually committed. Yes, this is entrapment. That said, solicitation of a minor probably isn’t going away anytime soon. TOS wouldn’t be discussing it if the accused were 40 year old man chasing a 15 year old girl. It hits all the “victimhood” buttons, which are irrelevant.

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            ENB probably would, tbh.

            This is entrapment, and it’s a bullshit non-“crime”. But it’s easier than going after actual criminals, and it let the cops make fun of the poor dude on social media.

          2. commodious spittoon

            I can’t remember, did they run stories about female teachers and young students?

      2. kbolino

        Yeah, wtf does being fat have to do with anything?

      3. thepasswordispassword

        Never mind that the fake kid was originally portrayed as of age and then the fake kid was retconned to be underage after the emotional hooks had been set in.

    2. Count Potato

      “Youngstown State Student Arrested For Trying To Trade Chicken Alfredo For Sex”

      https://coed.com/2017/12/14/albert-maruna-youngstown-state-student-arrested-sex-chicken-alfredo/

    3. commodious spittoon

      Tony|12.14.17 @ 10:58AM|#

      How the fuck is it a crime to not have sex with someone who doesn’t exist?

      Is someone catfishing as Tony?

      1. kbolino

        Well, it’s a crime to not pay taxes on health insurance you don’t have.

    4. TK

      Shit, I won’t even meet with supposed 18 year olds on tinder. If you can’t legally buy a drink with me, I ain’t interested. Its simply not worth the trouble.

      But then again I’m not obese or gay so maybe that’s why… oh wait that has nothing to do with it.

  67. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not talking about changing your name; I mean “disappearing” yourself and resurfacing as another person with all your identity papers in order (no forgeries or fakes) and no accessible paper trail back to your former identity.

    I think it’s a lot harder now, but the (theoretical) technique used to be to find a child who died at birth, or shortly after Wander around a cemetery looking for extremely short birth-to-death spans, and apply for a duplicate birth certificate, and go from there. I still don’t know how you go to the DMV as an adult and apply for a learners permit and claim to never have had a drivers license before.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      STEVE SMITH NOT DIFFERENTIATE BY SPECIES WHILE MATING. AND BY MATING MEAN RAPING.

      1. The Last American Hero

        So long as the deer signed the consent forms…

  68. Presidential hopeful wants Finland out of EU, says nationalists will bounce back

    What is it with Finnish genetics? My wife is half-Finnish and looks like this woman’s sister.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Finland is the only country where people on the street regularly assumed I was a native. I wasn’t even drunk.

    2. Tundra

      Family trees are more like flagpoles.

    3. Drake

      Would

  69. Ummm… if you knew you were the jealous type, why were you dating a stripper?

    http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/jealous-arsonist-602549

    1. Tundra

      The pics are priceless. The stock pole dancing pic particularly.

    2. People are freaks.

    3. commodious spittoon

      How is that fugly mook with that gorgeous stripper? Gotta be low self-esteem.

      Doubly funny because JB’s was the name of a long-gone chain of buffet places here.

      1. TD’s is still around though.

        1. commodious spittoon

          This is true.

          The only strip club I’ve enjoyed was Spearmint Rhino in Vegas. Quality ass there, and my girlfriend was invited to touch.

          1. Quality ass there, and my girlfriend was invited to touch.

            Do you have a newsletter I could subscribe to?

  70. Count Potato

    “The FBI assessed last year that it was “reasonably likely” that Hillary Clinton’s private email server had been infiltrated by hostile foreign actors.

    But that assessment was watered down in remarks prepared last year for then-FBI Director James Comey. It was replaced with softer language stating that it was “possible” that hostile actors had gained access to Clinton’s server, which contained thousands of classified documents.”

    http://dailycaller.com/2017/12/14/comey-draft-said-it-was-reasonably-likely-that-hillarys-server-was-hacked/

    1. AlexinCT

      The more of this shit comes out, the more it looks like the whole “Trump stole the election with help from Russia” circus is nothing but a way to delay the inevitable that would have to happen if justice was to prevail when facts about how the Obama crime syndicate thought it would rig things and then hand the reigns of power to the Clinton crime syndicate so it could be business as usual.

      We no longer have a nation of laws, and we do have a political swamp.

      1. Suthenboy

        Well, they appear to be tripping over their own dick. #MeToo seems to be knocking a hole in the levee.

    1. Tundra

      A few days ago on Twitter, Tressie McMillan Cottom explained that Libertarians were Nazis who didn’t want their houses egged. Yes, Libertarians. Wanting a small government and to be generally left alone has nothing to do with Nazism. It’s not even remotely similar on any level whatsoever. It would be like calling a truck a pterodactyl. It’s utter lunacy.

      History in the parallel universe must have proceeded rather differently than it did in our timeline. I guess over there, rabid Libertarians are invading Russia and firing up the gas chambers for genocide.

      Busted.

  71. commodious spittoon

    Did anyone notice Glibs got name-checked in a link from TOS during their donation drive?

    1. kbolino

      Yeah, someone posted their mention here and it generated quite a bit of, um, spirited debate, as to what exactly Welch meant and whether it was sincere.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Nice. I see no reason to assume that it isn’t sincere. I could see if it were someone else, but Matt always seemed to be willing to play in the mud without getting butthurt.

  72. Count Potato

    “This ENTIRE Family Is Transgender

    A local news station in Arizona ran a glowing piece on a family that is in transition — as in, the entire family, including the two young children, are all transgender.

    Daniel Harrot, the “father” of the family, is a 41-year-old biological female who identifies as a man.”

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/24673/entire-family-transgender-amanda-prestigiacomo

    No, those children are not transgender. Their parents are assholes.

    1. Well, those kids are fucked.

    1. I have two takeaways. One, shocker, even when you pump them full of estrogen, men’s bodies aren’t meant to look like women’s bodies. Two, if this whole marriage thing doesn’t work out, I’m moving to Russia or one of the nordic countries.

    2. Count Potato

      That isn’t the least bit surprising.

    3. Methodology does not correct for fatties.

    4. AlexinCT

      Why did you link that Q? I now need to scrub my fucking brain…

  73. You know, I saw these people on television yesterday. The first thing I thought was “power couple.”

    I’ve never watched this show before. Who could find this appealing as even background noise? Fuck.

  74. commodious spittoon

    A follow-on from my scotch review last night: the hangover is very mild, despite draining nearly half the bottle. Yes, I am a lush.

    1. Tundra

      Yes, I am a lush professional.

      Fixed.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Who am I supposed to hate here? Everyone?

      1. Count Potato

        Well, not June. She’s adorable!

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I can’t make sense of any of that, nor do I want to try.

      1. Count Potato

        Here is a decent response:

        “Idiots: “Trans women shouldn’t be allowed in the womens’ bathroom because it will lead to molestation and rape”

        Also idiots: *pulls down a child’s pants in the bathroom*

        (as if that’s a thing that really happened and isn’t another “then everybody slow clapped” internet story)”

        1. TK

          Oh yeah, I saw that one. The chick that “teaches” on the kids channel is creepy as fuck.

    3. Is shoe0nhead libertarian? I can’t really see where she stands on these issues.

      1. TK

        No. She considers herself center-left or even firmly left. But she is anti-progressive SJW crap.

      2. Count Potato

        She isn’t a libertarian. As far as I can tell, she’s politically moderate, often left of center, but against the identity politics and insanity of the far left.

      3. Lafe Long

        These anti-sjw youtubers slightly perplex me. I enjoy watching them mock and take down the SJWs… and a lot of them have very “libertarianish” views. It just doesn’t seem consistent for them to not apply some of that same reasoning to other political topics. ex: Blair White on NN is kinda disappointing.

  75. Juvenile Bluster

    FAO Kristen, if you’re lurking around, the Honorable Justice Don Willett of the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals has reappeared on Twitter.

    https://twitter.com/JusticeWillett/status/941707111695814656

    1. Fun fact: FDR proclaimed today Bill of Rights Day.

      1. The one day of the year you can exercise your rights?

      2. CPRM

        I’m sure he meant the second bill of rights. Not that useless thing by those dead white guys.

        1. Suthenboy

          He wanted to upend the entire constitution over a phrase that was added as an afterthought to keep from having to use the word ‘property’. Fuck that guy.

    2. Tonio

      Justice Willett is currently on the supreme court of Texas. He has been nominated to a judgeship on the federal 5th circuit, but not yet confirmed.

      1. Tonio

        He apparently defeated Steve Smith (no relation to our Sasquatch) in an election.

      2. Juvenile Bluster
        1. Tonio

          Thanks.

        2. Raston Bot

          party line vote? fucking give me a break. did the AMA rate him unqualified too?

          1. did the AMA rate him unqualified too?

            What’s this now?

          2. Gustave Lytton

            D senators lied their asses off to impune Willet’s character and judicial record to give themselves kleenex cover for their foregone opposition votes against Trumphitler.

        3. kbolino

          The Republican-dominated Congress has been evaluating and confirming nominees at a comparatively bracing pace after years of partisan delay tactics under the Barack Obama administration.

          Wasn’t the media complaining a few months ago that the Trump administration wasn’t filling vacancies fast enough?

  76. CPRM

    If The Hat and The Hair is late again today, I say we riot! Who is with me? *Lights molotov cocktail, realizes that’s a waste of liquor and extinguishes flame*

    1. I wouldn’t notice if it were late – or absent

    2. TK

      *flips keyboard*

      1. CPRM

        *lights TK’s keyboard on fire*

        1. Mr Lizard

          *blasts keyboard with a plasma rifle*

          Too much?…

    3. CPRM

      Damn you Ajit Pai!

  77. The Late P Brooks

    No, those children are not transgender. Their parents are assholes crazy.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Por que no los dos?

  78. Zunalter

    Can anyone with an interest in college football explain to me why all these high profile players are sitting their teams bowl games out? Is it just a matter of them not wanting to hurt themselves, and since their team isn’t in a playoff they don’t care, or something else?

    1. DOOMco

      One bad injury hurts draft stock. for a game that doesn’t really matter. you can lose millions if you break yourself in that game your senior year.

  79. The Late P Brooks

    Can anyone with an interest in college football explain to me why all these high profile players are sitting their teams bowl games out?

    I suspect it’s because they don’t want to risk an injury which would adversely affect their earning power. Maybe they just want to study for finals.

    1. robc

      If you are going high in the NFL draft, why take the chance?

      Its just a Meaningless Exhibition Game (MEG).

      1. The Last American Hero

        It’s not just the high draft guys. I saw one player indicate that he’s hoping for late second/early third but if he gets hurt is worried he’ll go undrafted.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      That’s pretty much it. No need to risk the injury. Jake Butt played last year, got injured, and probably dropped 3 rounds in the process.

  80. The Late P Brooks

    I want to move to Finland.

    1. Zunalter

      whyever for?

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Remember: Compulsory military service

  81. Lachowsky

    Do any of you Glibs know anything about cricut vinyl cutting machines. My wife wants one for christmas. I don’t know the first thing about them. There’s several models and I don’t know the difference between them

    1. Zunalter

      My wife has the expensive one. It really depends on what you want to do with it. There are a bunch of features that you can get as you move up the chain, some more useful than others.

      1. Lachowsky

        I’m thinking mostly vinyl iron on type stuff, but who knows if she really gets into it.

        1. Zunalter

          If it is as simple as that, I don’t foresee you needing anything too fancy, I think any of those cricuts will work.

      2. The Last American Hero

        Yeah, that expensive one could even be used for a skin suit. I mean, you know, in theory.

        1. Zunalter

          BTW, love that avatar.

    2. Tonio

      Their website does a pretty good idea of breaking down the models and their capabilities. The main difference seems to be range of materials.

    3. Old Man With Candy

      I’ll light the SP signal when she gets back later. I gave her one last year, and she’s quite expert at the product line and uses.

      1. Lachowsky

        That would be great OMWC. Thanks.

  82. The Late P Brooks

    whyever for?

    Blondes.

    Thoroughbred blondes.

    1. Sexually liberated blondes.

    2. Zunalter

      Head down to ASU if that is all you are looking for.

      1. ^^^This guy most certainly gets it.

  83. The Late P Brooks

    know anything about cricut vinyl cutting machines.

    Like decal cutters? I personally don’t but I had a couple of friends who did custom decals. The machines are slick, no doubt about it.

    1. Lachowsky

      Yeah. That’s what she wants to do.