You’ve all undoubtedly heard the numerous accusations made by the female members of the staff here regarding my workplace behavior. As a person who was born in an era before women were “people,” my actions do not align with my values, nor represent who I am as a person. At the time I believed that my sociopathic manipulation of the women was consensual, but I was intoxicated at the time, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. I’m not saying the victim is a “liar,” I’m just saying “she’s not telling the truth about the thing that happened because maybe it didn’t even happen.”

In conclusion, I will do my best to learn from this situation, without reading anything or listening to anyone’s perspective other than my own. I will get the help I so desperately need because this isn’t actually my fault, I have a problem, so I’m not responsible for my actions. This is a disease and needs to be treated as such.

So that said, here’s the links we all so desperately crave.

 

Of course, I’m not the only one facing this issue, and the noted intellect Alyssa Milano has deep thoughts on this matter regarding the great philosopher Matt Damon.  FTA:

He tried to say that things like being groped on the butt wasn’t as bad as rape and that the behavior shouldn’t be lumped together.

“I do believe that there’s a spectrum of behavior,” he told Travers. “And we’re going to have to figure — you know, there’s a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right? Both of those behaviors need to be confronted and eradicated without question, but they shouldn’t be conflated, right?” Umm, WRONG! Thank goodness there are people like Alyssa to help point that out.

Crazy talk! Outrageous! And now, in my hour of humiliation, I finally understand why.

 

The world of sports is not immune, either. Sadly, the article doesn’t give the important details and you will search in vain for phrases like “throbbing veiny cock” or “creamy luscious breasts.” I mourn the death of thorough reporting and real analytical journalism.

 

Here, at least, is what appears to be truly consensual workplace genital rubbing. And of course, the excuses seem pretty valid, right up there with, “I tripped, accidentally fell on her, and my dick accidentally slipped into her vagina.”

 

The “gay community” has its own issues, what with Trump ready to march them off to prison camps, aided and abetted by his spokeschimp, who is clearly a gender traitor. This is as much fun to hate-read as anything in The Root or Everyday Feminism. My favorite comment:

Yar Renhcahcs · Wutsamatta U
YOU SHIT HEAD THATS NOT RELIGUS LIBERTY THATS DISCIMANATION WHT THE FUCK WOULD THE PRESIDENT SUPPORT ANY HATE GROUP INCLUDING RELIGOUS ONES. FUCK YOU FUCK TRUMP FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO THINK THERE BETTERT HAN EVERYONE ELSE. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU YOUR SHIT STINKS AS BAD AS EVERYONE ELSES

OK, fess up- which of you wrote that?

 

And another round of Old Guy Music for y’all to ignore. Two of our favorite musicians covering a great Beatles tune.