Sloopy got his Christmas present from SP, which was some customized golf balls (not your cheap pieces of shit, either- Titleist Pro V1s with a custom imprint). This backfired a bit, because in his anxiety to try them out, he blew off morning link duty. “Eh, some Jew can do it, they don’t do Christmas.” So as famous Jew-Hater Martin Luther once said (or would have said in this situation), “Hier schreibe ich, ich kann nicht anders.”

 

In Jew News, the UN voted to condemn US recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. Note that the NYT positions this as “Defying Trump.” #resist!

“I think this was a significantly self-inflicted wound and really unnecessary, clumsy diplomacy on the part of the United States,” Stewart M. Patrick, a senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations, said of the outcome.

“In this case what you had was the Trump administration basically changing the rules of the game that the international community had accepted,” he said. “More than that, I think it symbolizes the self-defeating notion that for the United States, ‘it’s my way or the highway.’ ’’

Because “changing the rules of the game” that have had zero positive effects on the petty border dispute that is the singular cause of all of the problems of the toilet known as “The Middle East” and requires the full attention of the 99.9% of the world is just CRAZY SHIT.

 

In other TDS News, one of the lawsuits against Trump for supposed violation of the emoluments clause was tossed. Here’s a gem from the story:

The third federal lawsuit was filed in June by nearly 200 Democratic members of Congress. Some legal authorities consider that suit to be a purely political move…

What would we do without legal authorities?

 

What’s worse than a pedophile priest? A pedophile priest who fucks up traffic at rush hour. 

 

My biggest objection to the current wave of executive purges? That someone is purged because of non-PC comments rather than for the much more valid reason of selling shitty pizza and making commercials with Mr. Potato Face Manning.

 

BIG SCANDAL! People make crude jokes and speak honestly via private e-mail! This MUST CEASE IMMEDIATELY! The old “how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb” joke immediately comes to mind.

 

And in Department of Futility, sensing an opportunity with the public dissatisfaction with the NFL, Vince McMahon is trying to revivify the failed XFL. I will let the jokes write themselves on this quote:

The company also sought to trademark “URFL.”

Because the answer to a league that sufferes from too much expansion and the dilution of talent is to add more teams. Riiiiiight.

 

You thought you’d get away without Old Guy Music. You were wrong. One of the perversions that SugarFree and I share is a love for the Magnetic Fields, a band led by a deeply weird guy who cranks out brilliant songs as effortlessly as my dog sheds fur. So, here we go.