This will of necessity be brief- I have to get to Walmart and stock up with salt for the coming ice storm. And the only reasonable time to go to Walmart this close to Goyishe Chanukkah is at 4am, when it’s only me, a couple of drunks, and a few meth-heads wandering the aisles. The huge groups of Mexican families blocking all of the aisles while their kids intermingle won’t start until 7 or 8.

Motivational speech or a signal that Trump is going to try to match Obama’s miserable record of starting wars? I think the former and I hope I’m right. If it’s the latter, we might as well have had Hillary.

DHS touts its failures as a need to do moar. And this is actually close to Amish country, just in case you want to snark. In perspective, this is any given hour in downtown Chicago, and if DHS just went away, we’d all be better off. Especially the TSA part.

Want to take an instant hatred to someone? Someone unbearably smug, insular, and intolerant? Here ya go!

When someone goes postal, it’s a yawner. I mean, how many times do we read the same old story? Well, this one has a twist- he got naked first.

OMG OMG OMG, EXPLOSIVE REPORTING!!!!!! PRESIDENT MENTAL LINT ACCUSED OF SAYING STUFF!!! That’s it, we’ve got the Roadrunner this time!

Old Guy music, in case you thought you’d get away without it today. The greatest band that no-one seems to know.