Thursday Afternoon SPecial Links

Since your normal (hahahaha!) purveyor of Afternoon Links Of Amusement is once again slacking off, I have generously volunteered to sling some links at you. See if you can guess the theme!

  • Here is another good reason to be like me and avoid the product in question.
  • And this is why we can’t have nice things. Or at least why Europeans can’t.
  • Wait, what? Then why even bother?
  • “If there is any, send.” (((They’ve))) been reading my email.
  • And in case you haven’t ever read it, here is some official verbiage to enrage you.

Cheers!

Comments

645 responses to “Thursday Afternoon SPecial Links”

  1. Playa Manhattan

    I sense a theme.

    1. I suggest we all raise a glass to SP’s glorious theme today.

      1. Jefe Hayek

        But a glass of what? Water? Cola? WHYTE MALE TEARZ???

        1. DOOMco

          more ovaltine, please.

          1. Enough About Palin

            “Why do they call it Ovaltine?”

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PN9ekMo_WI

        2. Zima. Because zhit happens.

    2. Hyperion

      Wait, what is all this about themes? I thought that memes are what’s hot?

  2. Playa Manhattan

    “We ask the central government and the European commission to ban the consumption of alcoholic drinks on flights and in airports,”

    Yeah, because that’s where the problem is.

    1. Number.6

      In the case of cheap flights from and to the Balaerics, the answer is sadly – yes. The immoderate consumption of alcohol just before these flights is possibly a bigger problem than in-flight drinking, but the 1 and a half hour flights can get pretty rowdy.

      1. Pomp

        That sounds very unattractive.

  3. Just Say’n

    Laziest links ever?

    1. SP

      Or I’ve been day drinking so it’s what I’m thinking about.

      1. Just Say’n

        Well played, sir

          1. SP

            My hero!

  4. Count Potato

    I just want to thank Sloopy for posting this morning:

    https://twitter.com/BasedMonitored/status/885210857008922624

    I nearly fell out if chair laughing when Alex Jones showed up.

    1. R C Dean

      Eh, lemme know when he grabs her by the pussy.

    2. Hyperion

      If there’s anyone on earth who is a big of a slimeball as Schumer, it’s probably Biden.

    3. It’s France, don’t they swap lovers/mistresses all the time and hold wine-and-baguette orgies into the wee hours, until the underarm stink makes them all pass out?

      1. But Enough About Me

        See, that sounds like a pretty good time to me.

  5. Count Potato

    “A city councilman in Seattle is reportedly opposed to hosing sidewalks that reek of excrement near a local courthouse because he fears that it might be racially insensitive.”

    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/449421/city-councilman-hosing-poop-covered-sidewalks-might-be-racially-insensitive

    1. Zunalter

      I think that says more about the Seattle city councilman than they would expect.

    2. Mad Scientist

      That just can’t be real.

    3. Vhyrus

      Everyone knows those spics and niggers love to roll in shit!

      Can white guilt be terminal? I think Seattle might be our test case.

      1. I don’t think it’s white guilt, but what do I know?

        Apparently “Councilmember Larry Gossett said he didn’t like the idea of power-washing the sidewalks because it brought back images of the use of hoses against civil-rights activists.”

        Why stop there? By his reasoning, wouldn’t the use of fire hoses againt *fires* bring back images etc?

        1. Now, what if they could be persuaded that people peeing on the streets is reminiscent of hoses used against civil-rights demonstrators, since dicks are like hoses, etc?

          And that taking a dump on the sidewalk is reminiscent of white racists taking a dump on equal rights?

          They’d have the streets clean in no time.

          1. I can see the signs already – “Hitler and George Wallace don’t want you to use approved toilet facilities, because they’re racists like you’ll be if you pollute our public spaces!”

          2. DenverJ

            Power washing equipment and fire hoses are not remotely similar.

          3. Neither are civil-rights demonstrators and feces, but a “progressive” guy still made the comparison.

          4. DenverJ

            Good point

        2. Vhyrus

          I didn’t necessarily mean he had white guilt, but any city that a) elects someone that seriously pushes a train of thought such as this and b) actually entertains such an idea for any length of time obviously has some problems, because any normal group of people would have immediately shot down such a ludicrous argument.

  6. TripodKat

    I don’t understand the “(((” and “)))” everyone around here puts around words. Can someone please explain this to me?

    1. SP

      (((Jew)))

      1. TripodKat

        Oh, so its anti-Semitic. A lot of ya’lls comments make more sense now.

        1. (((TripodKat)))

        2. DesigNate

          I thought it was a way some retards on another site signify that someone is a “Zionist”, and us being the lovable rapscillions we are, have taken it and use it as ironically as possible. Or it’s possible I’m an idiot.

          1. Worker and Parasite

            (((idiot)))

          2. R C Dean

            us being the lovable (((rapscillions))) we are, have taken it and use it as ironically as possible

            Always a good default assumption.

          3. C. Anacreon

            As is using chopped scillions in a recipe.

        3. commodious spittoon

          It was used by Jew-haters, and then a bunch of Jews and sympaticos adopted it to dilute the meaning. Now the only times I see it are Jewish twitterers.

      2. Hyperion

        I knew it was (((jew))), my question is why do Jews use triple parentheses around things?

        1. straffinrun

          Glen Beck?

  7. TripodKat

    Also, tophat tip to Scruffy for the new avatar.

    1. Tundra

      This place is really getting classy!

      1. Mad Scientist

        Some of you Sneeches may have hats on your heads, but we hatless Sneeches are just as equal as you!

        1. one true athena

          Some have hats, some have no hats. And some have tasteful gold crowns.

          1. SP

            And some have weiners.

          2. DOOMco

            A few years back at a locksmith job in vermont, I had an ongoing ‘prank’ with some coworkers involving a giant weiner. It was purple, close to a yard long.
            We would attach it to the front of your car so it would flop up onto your hood when you drove home.
            It was hilarious.

          3. SP

            So, you’re a guy, then, huh?

          4. one true athena

            years ago, someone shoved a hot dog into the exact right place on the Walk signal (the stick figure). My son, then about five, thought that was the greatest thing ever. He dragged me back on our walk, day after day, because it stayed there. It took months for it to finally vanish. I thought for sure some animal would grab it or it’d fall out but somehow it didn’t.

          5. DOOMco

            I’m just a juvenile, pineapple-pizza loving man, SP.

            (Robby Soave), I didn’t start this prank.

          6. R C Dean

            someone shoved a hot dog into the exact right place on the Walk signal (the stick figure)

            Too bad it wasn’t one of these signals.

          7. Lachowsky

            That’s not a weiner, that’s a wrench.

          8. DenverJ

            I have an antenna.

          9. Number.6

            I intent to maintain my eyes as the high-point of my visage.

          10. Rhywun

            And some have snakes.

  8. Just Say’n

    https://twitter.com/JustinRaimondo/status/885546744959729664

    When you look bad, in comparison to Tucker Carlson, you’ve hit rock bottom.

    Anyone remember when Carlson tried the whole ‘I’m libertarian’ shtick by headlining Ron Paul’s Campaign for Liberty Event in 2008?

    1. Jefe Hayek

      I find Justin Raimondo to be annoying as hell. Pretty much a walking stereotype of assholish libertarian

      I still won’t defend Reason, though

      1. Just Say’n

        That’s the thing. It’s not like I’m a huge Raimondo fan, but sometimes his criticisms are valid. I’m expecting Gilmore to chime in now and express his displeasure with Raimondo too

      2. John Titor

        I still can’t get over how he looks like Gillespie’s brother who goes to the gym.

          1. DOOMco

            “I will use this crossbow to pierce my broken heart.”

    2. John Titor

      @reason has sold out to neocons. And they won’t even answer the charge.

      WHAT FUCKING ALTERNATE UNIVERSE DO THESE PEOPLE LIVE IN.

      1. Rasilio

        I was just going to ask the same damned question.

        They sold out alright but it sure as hell was not to the neocons

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          It’s quite obvious by “neocons”, he means “the Jews”, and by “sold out,” he means “won’t publish Holocaust revisionism articles anymore.”

          1. Jefe Hayek

            I like to call it “Holocaust Correstioninism”

            #ChrisKyleAdamLanza

        2. DesigNate

          There’s got to be some kind of overlap in that neocon-progressive Venn Diagram.

          1. one true athena

            Warmongering was the overlap in this case, since Raimondo was infuriated by the Cathy Young article.

      2. DenverJ

        I was going to reply to that, too. But they wanted me to make a Twitter account. Thanks, no

    3. Vhyrus

      I haven’t listened to a lot of Tucker Carlson but I find him to be the best thing that has happened to Fox News since John Stossel deigned to set foot in their studios.

  9. Drake

    Notorious fink John McCain dispatched a trusted aide across the Atlantic to get dirty dossier from ex-spy after former British diplomat told him about blackmail tapes.

    1. Just Say’n

      World War III is going to be sweet. The Weekly Standard needs new porn- they’re pictures of dead Iraqis just isn’t doing it anymore

    2. Lindsey Graham?

    3. R C Dean

      So, if its supposedly illegal or at least a huge scandal for an American to take a meeting with foreigners claiming to have oppo research, its gotta be at lot worse to actually hire a bunch of foreigners to do oppo research, right?

      1. DOOMco

        shhhhhh!

  10. DOOMco

    Screwdriver or pacifico?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Save the Pacifico for when you need to sober up

      1. DOOMco

        Hey, it’s nice on a hot day out on the porch.

    2. SP

      Since SugarFree came to visit, I’ve been leaning toward nice bourbons. Or maybe that should be “leaning after a couple of nice bourbons.”

      1. Since SugarFree came to visit

        something insane something asylum

        1. I met him…and I am fine!

          *nervous tic*

      2. DOOMco

        as long as you don’t fall off the earth, you’re alright.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      Depends. How many Pacificos do you have? I always found that tastier than Corona, if you have 12 I’d roll with that.

      1. Worker and Parasite

        Sol is the king of Mexican beers.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Wrong. That goes to Modelo. Negro Modelo if you are feeling racist today.

          1. RBS

            Bohemia.

          2. Hyperion

            Negro Modelo is nice. The regular is horrible. I’d rather drink Corona. But I wouldn’t.

          3. Agent Cooper

            I like Modelo Especial.

        2. DenverJ

          dos xx

      2. DOOMco

        I think there’s 8 or 9 downstairs.
        I also have to use the last of this OJ soon.
        I prefer it over corona, but either is fine in the sun.

        1. Imperial from Costa Rica is a fine sunny day beer.

          1. DOOMco

            noted for the next trip to the LC.

  11. Just Say’n

    https://twitter.com/LeonHWolf/status/885580245289644032

    Yes, the president of the United States said this. May God have mercy on the souls of everyone who voted for him

    1. Zunalter

      That’s cray.

      1. TK

        Scruffy, we need a tophat on Zunalter’s tophat.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I do have an idea for that.

          1. Zunalter

            Haha, go for it

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Dat so cray!

    3. Sour Kraut

      60 pound bag of drugs. What’s the street value on that for say cocaine? I’m sure they’d just chuck that over a wall and hope for the best. Oops that one hit some grandpa, chuck another one and maybe it will get in the hands of our mule.

      1. Zunalter

        Not to mention, are they throwing it over the wall with a catapult? I don’t know a lot of people who can toss a 60 pound bag of drugs over a 10 foot wall.

        1. Vhyrus

          10 foot? I think you might be off by an order of magnitude.

          1. Zunalter

            I wasn’t sure and thought it more prudent to underestimate.

          2. nw

            A one foot wall? Seems kind of pointless.

          3. +6″ Stonehenge

        2. RBS

          Mexican strongmen.

    4. Vhyrus

      Well, I voted for him for the lulz, and holy shit I have laughed more in the last 6 months than I did in the 8 years prior, so he’s getting my vote again.

    5. F. Stupidity Jr.
      1. RBS

        The Bushisms are pretty funny but Obama is the Greatest Orator of Our Time.

      2. Hyperion

        He just had a Nancypelosi. Serious acute neurotic condition.

  12. Sour Kraut

    First Full-Scale Test of Elon Musk’s Hyperloop One Was Underwhelming

    The ultrafrast transportation system only traveled 70 miles per hour.

    Watch this reporter not get invited to the second “demo”.

      1. Tundra

        TouchyBanana17 hours ago
        +Concerned Aleks
        Elon Musk is a delusional retard

        Touchy Banana gets it.

        1. DOOMco

          I like a lot of his videos. He’s there for science, for the most part. He has some good ones on solar power as well.

        2. R C Dean

          Nah, Musk just has his eye on his next tax-funded scam, because the “electric car” scam can’t go on forever.

      2. The Last American Hero

        He’s the same guy that did the hour long take down on the led/glass roads thing.

    1. Zunalter

      I don’t get the big deal, considering this is the very first test run, why would they be doing the entire 700 miles per hour?

      1. Fatty Bolger

        Agreed. And the final speed for this round of testing is only supposed to be 250 mph.

  13. Count Potato

    “Chicago woman gets probation for dropping baby to her death
    A woman who dropped her infant daughter to her death from an eighth-floor window in Uptown so her parents would not know she was pregnant pleaded guilty and was sentenced to four years’ probation. Mubashra Uddin, who was 19 when she was charged with first-degree murder in 2015, pleaded guilty Thursday to involuntary manslaughter, according to Cook County state’s attorney’s office spokeswoman Tandra Simonton. Judge Carol Howard sentenced Uddin to 48 months’ probation and ordered her to pay a $579 fine. She was given credit for 603 days served in the Cook County Jail.”

    http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/267201667-story

    1. Just Say’n

      That is depressing all around

    2. SP

      “Involuntary”

      1. robc

        Maybe she honestly didnt know that babies couldnt fly.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Maybe she thought it was a baby turkey.

        2. As God is my witness, I thoughtyou babies could fly!

          1. Fucking auto-correct. You know what doesn’t belong.

          2. DenverJ

            Hitler?

          3. Mad Scientist

            The ‘copter seems to circling the parking area now. I guess it’s looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of a helicopter. It’s a dark object, perhaps a skydiver plummeting to the earth from only two thousand feet in the air… There’s a third… No parachutes yet… Those can’t be skydivers. I can’t tell just yet what they are but… Oh my God! They’re babies! Oh no! Johnny can you get this? Oh, they’re crashing to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible! Everyone’s running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The babies are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement!

        3. But Enough About Me

          “As God is my witness . . .” +1 WKRP in Cincinatti

          1. But Enough About Me

            CURSE YOU, MAD SCIENTIST!!!

          2. Festus

            Bailey Quarters. That is all.

          3. C. Anacreon

            Yes, I would have appreciated an invite to Bailey’s quarters.

    3. The Last American Hero

      Kid couldn’t have survived on its own anyways.

    4. R C Dean

      Uddin’s lawyers and friends said she was overwhelmed by the pressure of raising a baby as an unwed mother in a pious immigrant family

      Uddin, a Muslim of Pakistani descent

      I wonder if white trash gets the same lenient treatment when they murder their newborns. Actually, no I don’t.

      Lindsay Johnson, 21, of Monee was sentenced to 10 years in prison after pleading guilty to endangering the life or health of a child in connection with the March 13, 2016, suffocation of her son.

    5. Hyperion

      “Mubashra Uddin”

      Doesn’t that name imbue special snowflake status on one? So what’s the problem here, baggers?

  14. bacon-magic

    Thanks for the top hat Scruffy Nerfherder!

    1. Enough About Palin

      Would a baby seal wear a top hat?

    2. R C Dean

      Most excellent, Scruff.

      And, yes, a baby Gliberseal would wear a tophat. And a monocle.

      1. Festus

        Just the classy ones, though. There are limits.

    3. Lachowsky

      How do you get scruffy to get you a top hot?

        1. Hyperion

          See how this works. Hyperion gets a top hat, and then EVERYONE has to have a top hat. Where’s the monocle!? Who refuses to wear the monocle!?

          1. You were always top hatted, at least since the bogus “logo competition”, about which I am not in the least bit butt-hurt, (effing Mr peanut pennybags mother fuc…..)

          2. Hyperion

            Dude, you only even have one eye, you don’t even have to decide which eye to put the monocle on!

          3. jamrogie

            Am I doing the top hat thing correctly?

          4. straffinrun

            That shouldn’t have made me laugh.

          5. Hyperion

            I think that’s called a ‘cone’ and you can find them on highways near road construction.

        2. Lachowsky

          very good. I cancel my scruffy order.

          Here, have a dollar backed by commodities from a private bank.

  15. F. Stupidity Jr.

    I got a tiny buzz just reading those links.

    OT: My day at work, in metaphor.

    I’m not a chess professional. In the cut-throat world of professional chess, you must devote hours and hours upon hours and hours researching opening (the first 10-15 moves of the game) to find a small edge early and nurse that edge until it grows into enough of an advantage to win, or at least not lose. On my level (USCF 1600ish), you can play for an opening advantage if you’re more familiar with the basic themes of the position than your opponent is; otherwise, you’re just trying to put your pieces on decent squares, contest the center, and hope to go out of the opening and into the middlegame more or less equal.

    There are some games where it is your opponent who has steered the opening into his type of game, and as the middlegame commences you’re on the back foot and hoping to play well enough (or that the opponent errs) that you can get back to equality – but it never comes. No matter what you do, no matter what you come up with, you’re always just a half step behind, and the game continues in that vein for another 30-40 moves until you tip your king.

    That’s been today. I’ve been struggling to gain equality since the goddamn game began.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      I find that happens with tic-tac-toe as well.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      My asshole kid is like ELO 1830 and rising. It’s a triumph to me if I can make it through 20 moves.

      1. C. Anacreon

        I look at people playing chess and think how much better it would be to spend that time taking a nap.

    3. Hyperion

      I got a tiny buzz drinking 4 cachaca and lime with some orange.

      1. I’m Here To Help

        I’m jealous. Something is a bit strange in my metabolism that makes it nearly impossible for me to get drunk. I came home from a 9 month sojourn in Afghanistan during which time I didn’t have a drop to drink. Decided to celebrate with boat drinks by the pool. After the first hour and a half my wife switched from rum to vodka, and I questioned why. She said I drank all the rum (brand new bottle). Got halfway through the vodka before I gave up.

        Same thing with prescription meds – they just don’t affect me…

    1. When I first started lifting weights – all cheap plastic sand weights – my then-girlfriend said “what’s so difficult about this?” And before I could stop her proceeded to curl a bunch of weight with terrible, terrible form.

      The next day – when I’m not at home – my GF’s back seizes up with a burst of pain. She’s on the floor, unable to move. That’s when our cat decided this was time to strike, and jumped on her, biting the back of my GF’s neck.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Cat’s aren’t dumb. They’re just assholes.

        1. TK

          Hey!

          1. Mad Scientist

            If you were a real cat you’d take that as a compliment!

          2. TK

            *Climbs up Mad Scientist’s back using claws*

          3. Mad Scientist

            Ow! OK! OK! You’re a real cat!

          4. Bobarian LMD

            If cats were bigger, we’d all be cat food.

          5. Rasilio

            And what are tigers? Chopped liver?

        2. DenverJ

          Many years ago, i was juggling tennis balls for some reason, and i reached over, grabbed my roommates asshole car off of the counter where he was not supposed to be, and three it into the rotation.
          I got the fuck clawed out of me, but it was worth every drop of blood.
          True story.

          1. Agent Cooper

            Cars are heavy, dude.

          2. NOT a Naked Intruder

            Be glad at what he didn’t grab.

      2. Count Potato

        Yikes!

      3. She’s fallen, and she can’t get up?

      4. Raston Bot

        your cat had enough of her complaining.

        1. Who hasn’t had enough of women’s complaining?

          1. Rasilio

            Lesbians

          2. Drake

            I’m not sure. All the real life ones I’ve met seem pretty unhappy.

      5. Akira

        Just be glad that your girlfriend had some modicum of interest in lifting weights… Most females are scared to death of touching a barbell because they think they’ll turn into one of those ‘roided-up she-hulks if they do a few deadlifts.

        1. “I don’t want to get bulky, just toned.”

          This exact statement is why I’m a gender-traitor. Girl, you can’t even begin to realize how much work it takes to be a bulky woman. Trust me, you’re not going to suddenly wake up tomorrow and be yoked from lifting 5# dumbbells that are lighter than your purse.

          1. Tonio

            Brilliant, Riven, effing brilliant.

          2. *stand to begin prolonged ovation*

      6. Drake

        The cats knows – no pain no gain.

    2. Tundra

      I like how Rip continues to keep it simple. No need to do 400 reps a session and spend 3 1/2 hours at the gym. Get in, go hard and get the fuck out.

      1. Zunalter

        Not even shading the euphemisms anymore.

      2. You must be great in bed 😉

        1. Tundra

          *shrugs*

          I’m always happy!

        2. Terrible Joke:

          “How do you make a woman orgasm?”

          “Who cares?”

          1. Playa Manhattan

            “Who do you think you’re going to please with that little thing?”

            “Me.”

        3. He sleeps alone.

      3. The Last American Hero

        Does it add anything if you scream ki-ya’s like the cultists at Crossfit?

        1. Tundra

          It might get someone to throw a dumbbell at your head.

  16. John Titor

    Wine, Please! Ancient Pottery Inscription Requests More Drinks

    Reminds me of how they found what is believed to be the first ever marketing pun in the ruins of Pompeii.

    *Swissus Servatian narrows eyes*

    1. Gadfly

      Pompeii graffiti is an interesting read. Those latins had more flair than today’s graffiti scratchers.

      1. C. Anacreon

        Did the latins wear 37 pieces of flair?

    2. “Helvetii Servus”

      1. John Titor

        You thought way more harder about your Roman name than I did, I’m impressed.

  17. KibbledKristen

    How do I gets one o’ them top hats? I’d like a tiny top hat on my ski helmet!

    1. Tundra

      Scruffy’s your man!

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Post the image you’d like to use to imgur and leave me a link here. I’m getting ready to leave the office but I’ll check this thread in the morning.

      1. KibbledKristen

        Thanks Scruff!

        http://imgur.com/a/viPtt

        1. Hell I’ll enhatten ya. Anyone can enhatten someone, unless it’s really windy.

          1. KibbledKristen

            Thanks Hype! I found an image editor online that does transparent backgrounds, so I was able to enhatten and Wonken myself.

      2. Count Potato

        If I remember, I changed the aspect ratio of this image:

        http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/5/53/Sophia-Magritte.jpg

        1. Hyperion

          You can’t get a top hat on that head?

      3. The Elite Elite

        This seems like a proper one to get the glib treatment.

    3. DenverJ

      Top hats are easy, just put one on. Interferes with my wifi though.

      1. DOOMco

        this was funny.

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    RC, here’s the updated version based off the larger image

    http://imgur.com/a/N8EC3

    1. MikeS

      You are a magician. Great job on all of them!

      1. Chipwooder

        It’s ok, I didn’t get a monocle either

        1. Tundra

          Mine broke in the fight.

        1. Zunalter

          Why is that monocle attached to his genitals?

          1. It’s not like I had many options, he’s all Table Top Joe here

    2. bacon-magic

      You rock Scruffy!

    3. R C Dean

      YESSS! The monocle, too! I love it long time!

    4. Tonio

      Good going, Scruffy.

      1. Hyperion

        Get a top hat, Tonio. Bears can have a top hat too.

    1. John Titor

      And now when I try to google it all I get are articles about this moron. He’s talking about blowing up an agency that doesn’t exist.

      1. Waterfall Insurance

        GRU is the William from despicable me

    2. The Other Kevin

      Blow up Gru? You’ve got to be pulling on my leg!

      1. John Titor

        GRU’s got tens of thousands off Spetsnaz working for them, what could go wrong?

      2. Raston Bot

        well, “blow up” in the sense that they hit him with a fart gun and inconvenience his day.

        1. Chipwooder

          Dr Nefario’s coming up with some new stuff, just you wait.

    3. JaimeRoberto

      Jeez Louise. Stupid or evil? Or both? I just can’t tell.

  19. Private Chipperbot

    RE: Why U.S. soccer teams suck. Its costs a freaking fortune to have kids play on club team. The reason the rest of the world kicks our ass is because they pay for a ball…and that’s it. I just dumped $400 into uniforms for my daughter and told her we weren’t paying for the additional warmups – another $150 or so. It’s ridiculous.

    1. KSuellington

      $400 for shorts and a shirt!? Next time call me, I can provide those for a mere $350.

      1. DOOMco

        Yeah, 400 seems ridiculous.

        1. KSuellington

          Bulk discounts given! And if you order more than 10 we will throw in matching headbands! And that’s not all…

          1. RBS

            And that’s not all…

            Go on…

      2. Mad Scientist

        I’ll match your $350, and I’ll throw in a pair of cleats for just $75 extra.

        1. KSuellington

          Now you’re forcing me to pull out all stops! Free personalizes name printing on the back and we pay the shipping!

        2. Tulip

          My sister’s kids are in synchronized swimming. She spends more than that on sequins and glue. Sequin glue is something else. She is usually high.

    2. Raston Bot

      youth soccer has become a mafia racket when the hockey dad complains equipment costs too much.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Three customized jerseys, two custom practice jerseys, three pairs shorts, three pairs socks, long sleeve jersey.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      I’m actually stunned at Canada’s play. They actually pass the ball with some skill. And this Davies kid is looking mighty sweet.

      1. Rasilio

        Hey, don’t be muscling in on OMWC’s territory

  20. MikeS

    I ran across a very interesting write-up on the Aerosmith/Run DMC version of Walk This Way. It’s an oral history style thing. It has quotes from all the main players and supporting cast as well as some famous fans of the song. It’s long, but well worth the read.

    The inside story of when Run‑DMC met Aerosmith and changed music forever

    Rick gives us this yellow notebook pad. He tells us, “Go down to D’s basement, put the needle on the record.” We go down to my basement and put on the record and then you hear “Backstroke lover always hidin’ ’neath the covers” and immediately me and Joe get on the phone and say: “Hell no, this ain’t going to happen. This is hillbilly gibberish, country-bumpkin bulls—.”

    -DMC

    I laid down a guitar track and Rick said, “I really think we should have some bass in there.” I said, “I can do it but I don’t have a bass.” There were these teenagers hanging around in the back on the couch and one of them said, “I’ve got a bass at my apartment.” He ran back and he was back in 20 minutes. It was the Beastie Boys.

    -Joe Perry

    Small was a genius. It was his idea to build that set and put the wall up. And he said, “I’ll saw a hole in the wall and you just hit that spot.” If you watch the video, the way I go up and f—ing try to smash and knock a hole through the wall, it didn’t budge. Whoever was supposed to saw it didn’t really saw all the way through. It just about ripped every muscle in my back out.

    -Steven Tyler

    1. MikeS

      Just in case you’ve never seen the video or it’s been a few years:

      Walk This Way

    2. The Last American Hero

      I always preferred Bring the Noise for my Rock/Old School Rap tag team performance.

      1. No; it’s gotta be this.

    3. Tundra

      Great article – thanks!

      Joe Perry always looked like the prototypical rock star to me. Steven Tyler is just getting uglier as he completes his transition…

      1. But Enough About Me

        Transition to what? The Salt Monster in Star Trek:TOS?

          1. Tundra

            Bingo.

      2. Tonio

        Steven Tyler is just getting uglier as he completes his transition…

        smdh

  21. JD

    I’m going to have to give Abe the tophat and monocle look soon.

    1. MikeS

      I think Abe would look very stylish with a Glib makeover.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    When everyone has a top hat…

    1. DOOMco

      People think this site is an orphan auction?

    2. It’s an Abe Lincoln cosplay convention?

    3. bacon-magic

      Log Cabin Republicans?

      1. Brochettaward

        Those are the gay ones, right?

    4. MikeS

      The market will be saturated and your dreams of being a top hat magnate will evaporate like the tears on an orphans face?

    5. westernsloper

      A poorly fitted Derby will be the next thing?

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Every time I see Steven Tyler’s daughter, I think Mendel was full of shit.

  24. DOOMco

    SP, I love that your avatar has “All politicians are weiners.”

    I’ve also noticed a few new commenters! Hello to all of you. I wonder how many lurkers we have?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Out of the Shadows comes,
      The Lurker, Howdy!

    2. SP

      That was a sign we saw while driving around in my hometown area back in June. We actually turned around and went back to get a photo!

      1. DOOMco

        I would have as well.

    3. Bob Boberson

      Rarely comment, always lurking. It’s like I’m a ghost who appreciates the people who moved in.

      1. DOOMco

        Bob the friendly ghost.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Speaking of friendly ghosts, Stone has a new beer.

          1. DOOMco

            *heads to store*

          2. Tundra

            I’ve had it. Tasty.

    4. Trials and Trippelations

      I wonder how many lurkers we have?

      We are LEGION!

      1. Mome Rath

        I would post more but I tend to get to threads only after they’ve become dust in the wind.

        1. Stillhunter

          ^This. Do you people work? Seems I’ve heard that before…

          1. DOOMco

            We have good people in charge of the mines.

          2. CPRM

            My problem is, I’m a completest. I want to read every post, and by the time I’m done doing that there are another 200 and on and on…

          3. Trials and Trippelations

            Now I have time ti comment because I am work and my patients are asleep … but so are the commenters

          4. Trials and Trippelations

            Wow that is some shitty typing

            Now I have time to comment because I am at work and my patients are asleep … but so are the commenters

          5. DOOMco

            night shift hospital?

          6. CPRM

            my patients are asleep

            Sounds like the beginning of a Penthouse letter.

    5. whiz

      I’ve posted a few things and managed not to get banned.

      Usually just lurking. The daily links and comments are a great aggregation of info.

      1. DOOMco

        I think we have a good troll-dar here.
        I know I lurked for a while at TOS.

  25. Rufus the Monocled

    They also found this in Israel:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3i0DMbCKnAg

    1. DOOMco

      Isn’t that the guy from The Animals?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        His name is Eric Burdon and he’s definitely an animal. One of the greats.

        Now….SPILL THE WINE!

        1. Tundra

          +1 overfed, long-haired leaping gnome.

          1. KSuellington

            My all time favorite Burson (cover) tune is with War. The long form version of Tobacco Road. Smokin!!!

            https://youtu.be/Ig4jQrofnBI

          2. KSuellington

            Damn autocorrect!

          3. Chipwooder

            Fuckin’ love Eric Burdon. Just an amazing singer.

            My favorite cover he did was “Hold On, I’m Comin” with backing by the Bar-Kays, Otis Redding’s band.

          4. KSuellington

            Indeed! Another great one from Burdon. Dude still tours, can’t believe he survived!

          5. Rufus the Monocled

            Him and Van Morrison.

            That’s what you get when two drunk gnomes fuck.

            Beauty.

    1. Worker and Parasite

      He’s a random essay generator that was programmed to include “black bodies” in every paragraph. Hiring him to write a comic book… what could go wrong?

      1. John Titor

        This is also his second try, they already cancelled his first run due to poor sales.

        It was about as subtle as you expect.

        1. Brochettaward

          But what a cliffhanger that page ends on. I mean, what? What IS the question?

          1. Zunalter

            “When would these white, cishetero shitlords try to mow us all down?”

          2. “To be or not to be”?

      2. Rasilio

        You could get too drunk and date raped at one of the cocktail parties your brave choice got you invited to?

    2. kbolino

      “Ta-Nehisi Coates apparently doesn’t understand ____”

      What doesn’t belong in the blank?

      1. Rasilio

        How to separate while liberals from their cash, he understands that quite well

        1. LT_Fish

          Apparently not, none of his books are actually selling. Unless you meant Big Marvel….I have no idea what’s going on with them. The Chronicle of Diversity and Comics is good for a couple solid vids every day.

  26. MikeS

    Anybody have a favorite Manhattan recipe? I’ve been getting into Rye and figured I should probably have one at some point in my life.

    1. MikeS

      OK. Googled it and it’s pretty straightforward. If anyone has a twist on it or any other favorite Rye cocktails, I’d love to hear ’em.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Add a bourbon soaked cherry.

      2. I’m a big fan of the Sazerac. 10/10, highly recommend. The original recipe calls for cognac, but when everyone had their liquor privileges revoked, they switched to rye

        1. But Enough About Me

          Sazeracs rock, but I’ve had good and bad examples of ’em made for me. I haven’t made one for myself yet — so many cocktails, so little liver capacity . . .

  27. mexican sharpshooter

    So, HHS put out a report on opioid abuse among Medicare Part D beneficiaries: https://oig.hhs.gov/oei/reports/oei-02-17-00250.pdf

    In 2016, one out of every three beneficiaries received at least one prescription opioid through Medicare Part D. In total, 14.4 million of the 43.6 million beneficiaries enrolled in Medicare Part D received opioids.

    Okay, that’s a lot of old people zonking out on pain killers. What do they recommend?

    […]we are committed to forging expanded partnerships among Federal agencies, States, and private sector partners. We specifically call on Part D sponsors to work with OIG and CMS to further improve efforts to combat opioid misuse in Medicare. These efforts include Part D sponsors’ program integrity activities to address prescription drug and pharmacy fraud. We also specifically encourage Part D sponsors to effectively use CMS’s Overutilization Monitoring System, which identifies beneficiaries who are potentially overutilizing opioids.

    So help the government spy on your patients? Nice.

    1. SP

      What could go wrong?

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I don’t know about you but I bought some Tramadol in Mexico a couple months back and it only set me back $25US.

    2. DenverJ

      And don’t forget the part where you keep people in pain because “oh my Gods they could get high!!!!!!”

  28. Suthenboy

    I am late and cant stick around long. I have to go replace my ice maker. Turns out wives dont like Louisiana summers with no ice for their drinks.

    The theme I guessed is staying at cheap hotels?

    Jefe Hayek, if you are still around shoot me an email. *email address removed by SP to protect the…. innocent*

    1. Jefe Hayek

      sent

      1. Suthenboy

        Returned.

    2. I’m sorry your lady doesn’t have any ice for her white zin.

    3. And don’t you have ice cube trays?

      1. Suthenboy

        Oh yeah, I do. It’s just a pain in the ass. I replaced the ridiculously over complicated water pump but still no ice. So tomorrow back to the parts store…

    4. DenverJ

      I am, as we speak, signing up that email account for every “porn of the day” list that I can find. Enjoy.

    1. Vhyrus

      And people think we couldn’t win in a civil war against the government. We would have home made A-10s within 3 months.

      1. Akira

        Not to mention that we have a huge number of people in the population who do both long- and short-range shooting as often as financially possible and own dozens of top-notch firearms.

      2. John Titor

        Too bad all your industrial capacity would be gone in the first month.

        /Tired of military and strategic ignorance of people pushing this.

        Now get a few states on your side and a percentage of the military and we’ll talk.

        1. Gilmore

          Is Paul Ryan a complete fucking idiot?

          I get that republicans aren’t all on board with the president

          but i don’t see why so many need to actively encourage the sort of time-wasting conspiratorial bullshit that they’ve already spent a half-dozen hearings on.

          1. Gilmore

            Ah. I “me’d” that.

          2. John Titor

            The answer is still ‘yes’ though.

          3. For once Betteridge’s Law of Headlines is wrong.

          4. Suthenboy

            Bending over for Dems is what Reps do best.

        2. Vhyrus

          I was being glib (drink!) but I genuinely think people overestimate the ability of the government to fight on their own soil. Yes they won’t have stupid rules of engagement police up their ass but they also don’t want to level their own infrastructure in the process of winning so they are going to be more conservative, at least initially.

          1. Zunalter

            Not to mention that without a giant Orwellian takeover of American consciousness, there is going to be a limited supply of people willing to turn guns on their countrymen.

          2. John Titor

            Remind me which war is the bloodiest in American history again?

          3. Zunalter

            The War on Women

          4. Vhyrus

            periods don’t count.

          5. Agent Cooper

            Statistically, because we killed each other, instead of Canadians, which would’ve been the smart thing to do.

            Also, new technologies and fighting strategies would make any future civil war less bloody IMHO.

          6. Bob

            The one where both sides did damage to Americans. How this proves one side couldn’t do much damage you’ll need to explain.

          7. John Titor

            “A limited supply of people willing to turn guns on their countrymen” is wishful thinking unsupported by reality.

            Statistically, because we killed each other, instead of Canadians, which would’ve been the smart thing to do.

            The first two times you tried that it didn’t go so good.

          8. Vhyrus

            We weren’t really trying.

          9. John Titor

            That there’s some butthurt.

          10. Most Civil War casualties were disease and wounds that wouldn’t do so today.

            How you think we’d do vs Canada now?

            *feral grin*

          11. Zunalter

            wishful thinking unsupported by reality.

            So, because there were extraordinary circumstances that occurred in the past that allowed something like this to happen once, automatically in the future all circumstances will lead to this same outcome?

          12. John Titor

            @Swiss No, instead it would be starvation and disease as infrastructure fell apart.

            And I don’t doubt your ability to crush us, but I rather like the setup we’ve had for the past hundred years. It’s a pity we’ve started sealing the border up since 9/11.

            @Zunalter The most fundamentally arrogant and dangerous notion in the context of human combat is to assume ‘it wouldn’t happen here’. In the current environment, where you have violent clashes and rampant dehumanization the optimism is touching. That is not ‘extraordinary circumstances’ that is the standard nature of humanity. Tribalize, dehumanize and justify. Humans are basically half-civilized apes with nuclear weapons and machine guns. You may be different perspective from me but I’m paid to analyze this shit.

          13. John Titor

            they also don’t want to level their own infrastructure in the process of winning so they are going to be more conservative, at least initially.

            Not if it’s strategically beneficial to level your own (really ‘the rebels’ now) infrastructure to ensure a swift victory. You also don’t even need to destroy infrastructure to cause major damage to any rebellion. Unlike say, Afghanistan, where subsistence farming is still a thing so you can have a localized resistance based around it, Western countries have population centers dependent on transportation networks that import large amounts of food. Without those transportation systems, millions starve, and you create chaos in your opponent’s ranks as they try to correct for it. Now, some places are able to weather this better than others because of their agriculture, like Iowa. Fortunately, Vietnam gave the U.S. military a lot of experience in how to effectively level large amounts of vegetation. Of course there’s also the possibility of the rebels trying to do this to the loyalists, the problem being that it’s likely the loyalists will control major coastal centers and thus be able to import food still. So unless you have a large amount of the navy on your side you’re fucked.

            The threat of a horrific civil war due to gun ownership is a hell of a lot more valid than the delusion that gun owners in flyover country can pick a fight with Mattis and win.

          14. Gadfly

            It is an interesting theoretical. While the US military is capable of winning any war militarily, things have gone sideways in recent history due to political constraints. The question in a civil war would be what would be the political constraints of the government: would they really be more eager to kill their own citizens than they are to kill foreigners? If yes, they would win without a heavy defection as you mentioned (states and/or significant portions of the military). If no, they would lose. Yes, as you pointed out that the US Civil War was the deadliest, but that also occurred during a time period when the US in general was far more willing to kill foreigners, as well as far more willing to endure casualties, so the calculus would probably be different in a modern context. As in all wars, the outcome would hinge on a combination of preparedness + will.

          15. Suthenboy

            Y’all are mistaken. The government would lose, hands down. Why that is is hard to understand if you aren’t one of the flyover denizens.

          16. John Titor

            Forgive me Suthen, but knowledge of modern strategic and military action is vastly more valuable than some rustic flyover beliefs.

            What I list here is step one. The following steps would obliterate organized opposition. Sure, you can cosplay as the Wolverines in Colorado for awhile, but you can’t win.

          17. Gilmore

            I’m paid to analyze this shit. … knowledge of modern strategic and military action is vastly more valuable than some rustic flyover beliefs.

            * + has won Command & Conquer on highest difficulty setting

          18. John Titor

            Actually Gilmore, let me post my actual job description.

            But don’t let me stop you, please, lecture me on the modern military and how it operates.

          19. Gilmore

            is that what you were doing?

            i think its a stupid hypothetical. bragging that your job makes you the local expert on the stupid hypothetical isn’t really saying much.

          20. John Titor

            If I have knowledge on how insurgencies actually function, and have actual analysis as to how to beat them, isn’t that superior to a cultural assumption that “no really, we’ll beat the guys who are one of the most deadliest forces in human history?”

          21. Gilmore

            in case it wasn’t clear the first time: i was taking the piss out of you, not taking a side in the already-determined-as-silly-hypothetical

          22. Number.6

            I’ll just hang on to my copy of the War of the Flea for reference purposes and note that any civil uprising in the US would necessarily be very (very) much an asymmetrical one – the idea of a local militia facing down an infantry brigade in a conventional engagement is pure fantasy, let alone a combined-arms force.

            The good news is that the alternatives are nearly all more favorable to the insurgents.

      3. jamrogie

        I just watched the Frontline episode about the Bundy family and their clashes with the BLM. It covered the 2014 original standoff and had video of how tense that situation got and damn near how close they were to a straight up militia v. govt fire fight.

        1. nw

          I was confused at first because I didn’t think Married with Children had any
          temporal overlap with black lives matter.

          1. jamrogie

            You make a very valid passive aggressive point: I shall henceforth be less of a shitlord and not presume that everyone else knows exactly which definitions I’m ascribing to words/acronyms that could be defined in multiple ways.

            …or I could just continue to be a shitlord and you’ll have to deal with it.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      They up armored a Kia? In a way, that’s pretty cool.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        All Kias have that option Silly

      2. jamrogie

        This is also pretty cool! It’s kinda/sorta “armored up” but it’s for sure NOT a Kia. Plus yesterday there wasn’t exactly a lot of Subie love being strewn about this place, harumph!

        1. DOOMco

          I follow that guy on Instagram, but my favorite is Flatoutnos for that sweet subaru wagon.

    3. DOOMco

      That 18 wheeler tank turret is a pretty smart move.

    4. Rasilio

      So I see ISIS watched the A-Team

  29. Gadfly

    “If there is any, send.” (((They’ve))) been reading my email.

    From reading the article, that ancient document is amusingly stereotypically Jewish. The contents are, in order:

    – Invoke the blessing of God
    – Discuss finances
    – Ask for wine (on the back)

    Can’t argue with the author’s priorities. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

  30. FreeSociety

    Banning alcohol in airports is the worst idea I’ve ever heard

    Following several well-publicised incidents of flights being disrupted by, let’s say, thoroughly refreshed individuals, newly appointed aviation minister Tariq Ahmad is proposing a crackdown on the sale of alcohol at UK airports. […] Ahmad says he wants to create “an environment in which you’re going to be safe and secure”.

    Am I a terrible person for wondering if there’s a coincidence that a newly appointed Muslim minister wants to ban alcohol within the fiefdom he was handed?

    1. SP

      You are a terrible person, but not for that reason (drink). 😉

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Not at all. Where else is it socially acceptable to be drunk off your ass at 9am? Screw that guy.

      1. DOOMco

        my house!

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          But you look terrible in yoga pants, unlike so many of these “sign of the times” travelers.

        2. SP

          Brunch party at Doom’s!

    3. Zunalter

      At least 442 people were arrested in the UK for drunken airport loutery between 2014 and 2016. Annoying, sure. But let’s give this some perspective: in 2014 alone, British airport terminals handled 238 million passengers. That’s one raving vomity lush per 538,461 passengers. Banning airport boozing because of this infinitesimal few would be a colossal overreaction.

      Might be.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Loutery? What did they win? Oh….

        1. A *narrows gaze*

  31. The Late P Brooks

    The market will be saturated and your dreams of being a top hat magnate will evaporate like the tears on an orphans face?

    Correct. You win a cookie.

    What am I going to do with all these beaver pelts?

    1. DenverJ

      *raises hand

  32. SP

    Yet another reason I want to move.

    Also…. “County Board President Toni Preckwinkle”

    1. DOOMco

      Wait, who’s being let go by this?

    2. DOOMco

      Also, I started to collect some video of talking to people here about the soda tax.
      I still need a bunch more footage and then I’ll need to edit it. But I do have the beginnings of a video based post.

      1. SP

        That sounds terrific! Make sure you contact the Glib Editors when ready, if you haven’t already done so.

        1. DOOMco

          I’ll finish up interviews this weekend.

      2. Tonio

        Please do. The best way to kill the legacy media is to supplant them by providing coverage which they won’t do for ideological reasons or can’t do because ordinary people won’t talk to them because they’re tired of being ignored and misrepresented.

      3. westernsloper

        You guys got yourselves a soda tax? I missed that one. County thing? Or just Boulder?

        1. DOOMco

          I think it’s boulder county. the most expensive on in the country! (WE’RE #1! WE’RE #1!) at .02 per ounce.
          It affects fucking EVERYTHING. like, orange juice. 100% fucking orange juice is $1.28 more expensive now.

          1. westernsloper

            How do they figure that? On sugar content? Did the price of an apple go up?

          2. DOOMco

            I think it kicks in if there are at least 5 grams of sugar per 12 ounces?
            I should probably know that before posting an article…

          3. westernsloper

            How many apples ran through a juicer=12 ounces? I think the tax should be incremental on apples or any other piece of fruit. SUGAR IS SUGAR BITCHES!! Someone needs to point that out and show them how stupid they are.

          4. westernsloper

            Speaking of sugar, the fresh peaches have finally arrived here in the vege stands. I made a cobbler last night, good stuff.

          5. Pomp

            Dirty SOB. I am jealous of your peaches.

          6. DenverJ

            Orange juice dude. Not made with apples.

          7. Rhywun

            And when that fails to cover the unfunded pensions what do they turn to next?

          8. DOOMco

            Raise the pot tax?

          9. Rhywun

            I was thinking more along the lines of “calories” – they’re evil, right?

    3. RAHeinlein

      Chicago was off my list, but we visited last week and were prepared to purchase a downtown condo. Reconsidering.

      1. SP

        Seriously, we’d be out of here in a nanosecond if work circumstances changed.

  33. Gilmore

    Is Paul Ryan a complete fucking idiot?

    I get that republicans aren’t all on board with the president

    but i don’t see why so many need to actively encourage the sort of time-wasting conspiratorial bullshit that they’ve already spent a half-dozen hearings on.

    1. Zunalter

      If Paul Ryan is competent at no other thing, it is granting the retarded premises of leftists.

    2. Raven Nation

      And, if you’re going to go after a president from your own party, why not pick important stuff?

      1. Gilmore

        Exactly. they’re not winning any credibility from the #nevertrump voting public. they’re just taking the stupid claims made by the left and treating them seriously. McCain is retarded and i can understand his thing, but Ryan, i just don’t get it.

    3. westernsloper

      Ya, Ryan is a prick, always has been a prick because he is nothing but a progressive with an R in front of his name, but I think Jr should testify. The more this story is in the news, the more it points to the democrats. Let that all come out in congressional testimony. Maybe then we can get Lynch subpoenaed.

    4. straffinrun

      Ryan is that friend of yours that …

    5. Pomp

      Does the Pope shit in the woods?

    1. Zunalter

      Oh, he is actually 25 years younger than her, that would explain it. She literally could be his mom.

    2. AlmightyJB

      ET phone home

    3. John Titor

      She’s his former teacher from when he was like 16, Macron’s got issues. Or he’s French. Or both.

    4. grrizzly

      Macron is younger than me; my mother is younger than Macron’s wife.

    5. Agent Cooper

      Tan Mom has found her place in the world.

      1. Festus

        She’s well put together in a “Boca Del Vista” way. Oh God am I getting old… Those jerky-like arms are a bit of a turn off.

  34. SP

    Just some Glib stats for those wondering.

    756 posts.

    178,004 comments. Wait, 178,005. Oh hell, 178,007.

    579 registered users (550 of whom are Tulpa).

    1. Nice try, Tulpa

    2. Zunalter

      Wow, fewer Tupla socks than I would have imagined.

    3. DOOMco

      That’s a lot of users.

      You’ve done great work, SP and crew.

    4. Rasilio

      So that is what, like 1200 comments a day or something close to it, with under 600 registered users? Some of you guys need to get cracking and step up your comment game

      1. Zunalter

        Will.

        1. Zunalter

          Do.

          1. Vhyrus

            N

          2. Vhyrus

            O

          3. Vhyrus

            O

          4. Vhyrus

            B

            (I thought I had broke the site for a bit after ‘N’)

        1. DOOMco

          I think everyone likes this video.

        2. westernsloper

          The next video in the line up after that was about Ivanka. Am I the only one that thinks she has an abnormally long neck? I got ten bucks she is an alien in a human skin suit with nice tits.

          1. But Enough About Me

            I’m not seeing a problem with that.

            Oh, and WOULD.

        1. DOOMco

          best one yet.

    5. Old Man With Candy

      I have an idea: when we hit 200,000, we’ll invite everyone over and you can make us all sammiches.

      1. Wait until she cat-butts you.

        1. Zunalter

          mmmm…delicious cat butt sammiches.

    6. Tonio

      But you omitted the most important statistic – how many avatars bemonocled or top-hatted by Scruffy?

      Srsly though, good work, Glibs. We have achieved that place of our own, and we have persevered for six months. Thanks to Brett, Swiss, OMWC, Zardoz, STEVE SMITH, SP and everyone else who has done the heroic work of providing us with at least two sets of daily links, seven days a week. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to research, write and edit didactic posts, often with admirable citations.

      1. Vhyrus

        I would, however, like to see some more news style articles, preferably written by someone with more writing and journalism ability than myself. Low bar, I know.

        1. Agent Cooper

          I would favor more “hey look at this libertarian thing going on over here” rather than TSTSNBN’s constant “analysis” of world events and TRUMP!

        2. Tonio

          Use The Glib as a vehicle to up your writing game if you’re so-inclined.

          I encourage everyone to submit news-type articles (posts), even if it’s only a link with a paragraph of commentary/explanation. Even if it doesn’t get a lot of comments you are providing original content, or at least as original as much of the legacy media’s content.

          Twelve articles (posts) per year is not a high bar, and if even 10% (58) of us did that it would be 696 articles per year, or two posts per day.

          1. westernsloper

            When do we get the next Tonio submission? I haven’t purchased my camel scrotum satchel yet, but I still wish I had one. Inspired by the last Tonio submission I saw.

          2. Tonio

            You say the sweetest things. I’ve got a couple of pieces in the pipeline. I’ve got some good things happening in my life, so that reduces the number of hours I have for scribbling. Hopefully, September.

          3. straffinrun

            That seems to be the inverse relationship. Not planning on having a good September, eh?

          4. Tonio

            In addition to the personal stuff, I have a seasonal work crunch that starts in Summer and ends in early fall. The muse is unpredictable, but after the creativity comes long blocks of editing.

          5. Number.6

            I was working on a camel scrotum review of the bags sold by Far Horizons Traders, but I kinda flaked out because there’s not really that much to say, but if anyone’s interested, I’ll give a quick rundown on their products.

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        I always thought you were a Sock for Tony over at ToP, sorry My Mistake, I’ll beat some Orphans as penance

        1. Tonio

          Srsly? I was there before Tony. I followed Gillespie over from Suck dot com. Have the orphans beat you as penance – there is a Mesopotamian precedent.

          1. But Enough About Me

            God, I remember Suck.com. Why does time have to screw with everything that’s good?

          2. Tonio

            But soon, this will all be gone. Like tears in rain.

    7. Tonio

      Oh, crap, forgot to thank SP for the unsung work of designing the website and keeping it running. She is the real heroine in all this. Also, everyone who edits, formats and approves posts.

      1. SP

        Please remind me where I send the check?

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        No shout-out for Thicc Thursday?

        Heterophobe!

        1. Pomp

          I was saying Boo-urns!

      3. DenverJ

        Mmm heroin

    8. Suthenboy

      579 users? No shit?

      What kind of numbers on the hits? Y’all sure hit the ground running. How did the fund raising go? Probably should look into *bites tounge* selling some ads.

      1. NO ADS!

        /harumph

  35. westernsloper

    found….lying on the floor wearing only socks

    Meaning no disrespect to the deceased, but……been there.

    As to the next link about Spain, maybe alcohol shouldn’t be banned. Maybe ban people from the UK. Spain needs a travel ban. MSGA!!

  36. Agent Cooper

    This one got my blog taken down for a few hours by teh Blogger.

    1. Meth-using morons?

      1. Wait, I’ve got it, recycle slurs which were conventionally used against (((other people))).

        Whites run the media, whites cheat you out of your money, crafty white racists run things from behind the scenes…it’s scarily effective.

    2. Gilmore

      Think of every champagne-colored Camry you’ve seen in your life.

      lol

      artful. that said, i think that is actually a pretty popular color/model in the hood as well.

      re: white people disses

      The most memorable “white person” diss I can think of in rap was from Wu Tang’s ‘protect ya neck’
      (*although it was really a diss against black rap acts that relied on white music-industry approval – and specifically a diss against the guy who eventually started Rawkus records, aka ‘the whitest rap label ever’) =

      First of all, who’s your A&R?
      A mountain climber who plays an electric guitar? He don’t know the meaning of dope

      or you could just take any number of 5% nation rappers who referred to white people as devils. Try “Unleashed” by Paris from 1998. I think it was on some black panther “kill all the white people”-fantasy thing.

      1. DOOMco

        the camry line was great.

      2. But you can’t just take the word “white” and add an insult like “devil.” You need a distinctive slur which is to “white” what [n-word] is to “black.”

        Since whites tend toward pinkish in color, why not “baboon-butt face”?

        1. Gilmore

          You need a distinctive slur which is to “white” what [n-word] is to “black.”

          didn’t someone post a link to an essay recently which pointed out that “white slurs” don’t exist

          1) because no one identifies primarily as “White” – they identify as some subset ethnicity (irish, italian, jewish, slavic, etc), and

          2) for a slur to be effective, it has to touch on a sense of inferiority – and even if there were some sense of collective ‘whiteness’, there is no other group of people which has traditionally lorded over ‘all’ whites, so there’s no inferiority complex to begin with. its looking for a target which doesn’t exist

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            there is no other group of people which has traditionally lorded over ‘all’ whites

            -1 Protocols of the Elders of Zion

          2. Gilmore

            what is the best white-diss in Yiddish/Hebrew?

      3. Gilmore

        **correction no one anywhere will care about

        Brian Brater (who started Rawkus, and who had seed money from Rupert Murdoch’s son) came a few years later; the person i was thinking of was some other dude in the major-label rap world in early 1990s NY… basically, that the diss was actually pretty specific and would have been understood as such by other people as “you work for that white guy with the ponytail, not yourself”

  37. But Enough About Me

    More wine? Don’t mind if I do.

    On tap tonight: really, really cheap boxed Pinot Grigio from some effin’ company I’ve never heard of. It’s cheap. And I feel kinda cheap drinking it.

    Oh well. It still helps with my knee ache . . .

    1. Old Man With Candy

      In honor of Michael Hihn, we’re drinking Bully Hill.

      1. DOOMco

        Oh, did he get another thousand libertarians elected?

      2. But Enough About Me

        Bully Hill?

        {Googles}

        Huh. Their website makes me want to cry.

        BTW, I switched to a rosé from the Midi in France. Respectable. Unlike me.

        1. I didn’t think it was possible for a rosé to be respectable.

          My current bottle of Pinot Grigio is Fish Eye, from Australia. It’s cheap and I like it, and that’s what matters.

          1. But Enough About Me

            Oh, it’s def poss.

            The spousal unit and I were faffing about the Midi around a decade or so ago, and ended up (by accident) in Gigondas, which, if anyone remembers Peter Mayle’s A Year In France, was one of the places lyrically referred to. We pull into a parking spot and find a café, and then make the rookie mistake of asking the waiter what wines are served there.

            He regards us as if we’re especially dim four-year-olds.

            “Gigondas!” he cries, and we feel like the traveling morons we apparently are. There were three kinds of Gigondas: red, white, and rosé. We had a carafe of the rosé. And great food. And then we found a place to have a nap for awhile. That southern sun can really take it out of you.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            There are spectacular roses available (fuck orthography, I can’t get accents to work right on this keyboard). I mentioned a few in one of my Friday posts a couple months back, but our go-tos are Edmunds St John Bone Jolly, a dry Gamay and Bugey Cerdon (petillant demi-sec Gamay/Plussard, Renardat-Fache and Bottex being our faves). Purists drink Tavel.

  38. straffinrun

    If you’re in recovery and want to plan a sober bachelorette or bachelor event, experts recommend these strategies:

    1. Choose your guest list carefully.

    Damn, I can’t even go to my own party.

    1. 2. Bring plenty of crack so you won’t think about alcohol so much.

  39. Q Continuum

    Something else to look for in a potential mate.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21676178

    1. AlmightyJB

      Why?

  40. straffinrun

    Swedish Music Festival Bans Men in Response to Rising Sexual Assaults

    According to Knyckare, that would eliminate the problem of sexual violence, while maintaining an otherwise enjoyable music festival.
    She found a lot of supporters for the idea and is reportedly in works to stage an all-women’s music festival in 2018.
    Her recent tweet about putting together a festival where “only non-men are welcome” sparked controversy.

    1. Stan/Loretta hardest hit.

      1. straffinrun

        Don’t stand by your man…

        1. No, I was referring to him, I mean xir.

          1. straffinrun

            I demand the right to take a joke in a different direction.

          2. My joke identifies as a riff on Monty Python, you oppressor.

    2. But Enough About Me

      Meh. It’s been done.

      Google “Lilith Fair.” Early derpness.

      1. Vhyrus

        Men could still attend lilith fair. This one is a little different.

        1. But Enough About Me

          Men could still attend Lilith Fair. But no actual men did.

    3. Vhyrus

      So, can men work there too, or only women? Cause if all the workers are male I’ll bet a crisp 5 dollar bill that there are still allegations of rape, and if no, I bet a crisp 10 dollar bill that they can’t even get the damn thing off the ground.

    4. AlmightyJB

      Rising Sexual Assaults? Just out of the blue?

    5. Hyperion

      This is going to go really well. I mean, how can it not?

  41. Juvenile Bluster

    So Justice Don Willett, justice of the Texas Supreme Court and excellent tweeter, is supposedly a candidate to replace Janice Rodgers Brown on the DC Circuit. That’d be nice.

    1. DOOMco

      That wouldn’t suck.

    2. It would be nice in the running-to-stay-place sense. An excellent judge retired, and maybe a judge almost as excellent will replace her.

      I’d like to see Trump fill a vacancy created by, say Ginsburg’s resignation. Or by Sotomayor suddenly deciding she doesn’t want to be a judge any longer, but to run a women’s only concert in Sweden (for example).

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Sotomayor is the usual horrible on most rights, but she’s been pretty good on 4A stuff. If you took her 4A jurisprudence and combined it with Thomas’s 1A, you’d have a decent judge.

    3. KibbledKristen

      OMG if Willett moves to DC I will squeal like a hyper schoolgirl!

  42. MikeS

    So I’m sitting I my local watering hole. On the TV is a show called “Boy Band.” As near as I can tell it is proof that Satan walks amongst us.

    1. DOOMco

      and is a producer?

    2. I’m not touching that one.

    3. Mr Lizard

      Satan, reptiles. Tomato, Torbital Bombardment

    4. westernsloper

      Marky Mark is satan? He played a Navy Seal!!

      1. westernsloper

        AND DURK DIGGLER!!!

        1. Pomp

          I’m a star. I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a star.

    5. AlmightyJB

      “So I’m sitting I my local watering hole.”

      Wish I was. That’s hopefully me tomorrow.

    1. Vhyrus

      He’s gonna hafta try a lot harder to get invited to our cocktail parties.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Boys from Brazil, Beastie Boys, Beach Boys, Big Boy, Boy George, Lady Boys, Boyz to Men, Fall Out Boy,

    3. westernsloper

      Mcgregor said “boy” at some point I take it. I don’t get that reference being derogatory especially if it is said by someone that did not grow up in the era when it was used as a derogatory term. So all lightly pigmented people are not allowed to say that word?

      I was having a friendly discussion about non diverse communities once with a very nice guy I was in course with. The guy I was talking to was explaining how once he felt he was being followed around a store in a mostly white area because he was black (in what state I don’t remember). I expressed my genuine disgust at that, and told him I had grown up in a very non diverse community. We had a whopping black population of one family in our town. He asked how they were accepted. I said they were for the most part totally accepted and it wasn’t a big deal, and followed up with the boy in the family, who was a year older than me, was an excellent athlete. He was a football and track star and super popular. The look on his face completely changed and he looked down and stopped talking. It took me days to figure out what I said wrong. Ya I don’t get language. My reverence for an older kid in my high school because he was a superior athlete than I was was racist.

      1. straffinrun

        It must be awful to live among people that look different. *Curls up naked in empty bathtub, stroking bottle of Captain Morgan’s*

          1. straffinrun

            How white people tap that ass. Ah yeah, all right.

          2. AlmightyJB

            The lack of sense of humor in the comments are sad

      2. In which era is calling a grown man ‘boy’ not derogatory? I’m not defending PC bullshit, but we need to/should/are gonna have ways to insult each other and questioning a mans manhoodliness is like derogation 101.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          As you can see at this link, the word “boy” originally meant “male servant” and didn’t gain its sense of “male child” until much later. Even then, the original meaning continued to be employed for African and Asian slaves and servants from 1600 onwards.

          Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

          1. That is the sense of the word that is derogatory though, calling any grown man a boy or any gentleman* a servant has always been cause for affront.

            *probable not the right term but I;m a tad rusty on thy king’s English.

    4. Rhywun

      I watched about 5 minutes of that crap – McGregor strutting around like a peacock with his F bombs and such – in wonder that people actually find that entertaining. SMDH.

      1. straffinrun

        I found it extremely amusing. Pure shit talking that is going to be followed up with an actual ass kicking. McGregor is either going to destroy boxing or is going to look like the biggest chump for his pre bout posturing. If we were talking about any other sport, I’d agree it was just plain silly, but these guys really are out to hurt each other.

        1. Rhywun

          I thought I was watching the intro to a wrestling match. I guess it’s always been like this but… I am definitely not their target audience so *shrug*.

          1. straffinrun

            In the age of safe spaces and trigger warnings, those press conferences are like smoking Camel straights in the ICU.

          2. Rhywun

            Like my favorite doctor

        2. Hyperion

          Trash talking has always been part of boxing. It’s even more so with UFC. All the guy’s doing is trying to get a big payday and it worked.

  43. KibbledKristen

    Spicier is making all kinds of blue checks his bitch. I love whoever is responsible for that Twitter.

    1. one true athena

      how do all these people not realize it’s a parody? They just keep falling for it.

      but yes, he’s on fire lately.

      1. KibbledKristen

        THe conservatives that think he’s real are just as funny as the libs.

    2. AlmightyJB

      link?

        1. DOOMco

          very nice.

        2. straffinrun

          Reminds me of this. Trump called me a Dummy! Sad!

        3. westernsloper

          Sean Spicier‏ @sean_spicier 7h7 hours ago
          Tough luck for the media. We finally have proof of WH/Russia collusion and it’s the wrong WH

          lol

        4. AlmightyJB

          That’s good material. Better than most late night show joke material. Thought it might have something to do with that tweet posted in an earlier thread.

          https://twitter.com/BasedMonitored/status/885210857008922624?s=03

  44. Speaking of the Stan/Loretta scene from Life of Brian:

    “When I was younger, I used to love this joke. It seemed such a refreshing corrective to identity-obsessed politics that put in place all the strange sort of people I had encountered who, in their gender non-conformity, made me uncomfortable. That the question was simply one of reality versus delusion, of unsound or silly people versus solid and rational ones, was a comforting thought – even if I only engaged in it indirectly, without hardly realizing. Not until years later, after a massive political reorientation and realization of my own hang-ups and misjudgments, did I realize how fucked up the joke was. It is obviously transphobic. I can’t possibly see any other way to explain why it might be received as humorous….

    “…The primary lesson I garner is that even amongst those who adopt a critical stance towards traditional norms and values, the fact remains that very few of us escape our historical moment, and all its various lines of oppression, entirely. We may see certain injustices and mock them at the same moment we are blind to others and replicate them. And this is why it is so important to be self-critical, and to think of these various structures of oppression as not something only Other, unambiguously Bad People do, but something we all swim in, whether we like to or not. Only with this willingness to realize that we are not exceptional do we open the possibility of all of us becoming collectively better.”

    (this is from August 2014)

    1. AlmightyJB

      Humourless dolts are sad

  45. KibbledKristen

    I hope the 5 Powerball numbers I bought today pay off, because I’m gonna move to Chile until October. Then I’m-a move to Colorado.

    1. Rhywun

      After this week’s heat wave I’m definitely down for some southern hemisphere action right about now.

      1. straffinrun

        Yoofamism?

        1. Rhywun

          I’m too drained of energy from spending a few minutes in the non-air-conditioned section of my apartment to come up with a witty riposte.

          1. straffinrun

            Tierra del Fuego?

          2. Rhywun

            My heating is more effective than my AC so sure?

      2. Hyperion

        Patagonia?

    2. Pomp

      Do you have like 12 pitbull chained up to 6 dog houses on a dirt lot in Georgia with a baker’s dozen of rusted automobiles? If so, you’re likely to win.

    1. Hyperion

      Nye is made 100% of a newly discovered particle, the retardatron.

    2. The Elite Elite

      He truly is the science guy, isn’t he?

  46. straffinrun

    Thursday afternoon/PM Links. Not to be a whinger, but that would save some back and forth clicking.

  47. KibbledKristen

    Geico knows how to double-entendre.

  48. Rhywun

    Sigh. I just noticed I missed another round of Foreign Footy. I really wanted to contribute to the Aussie edition but daytime posts are verboten to me.

  49. commodious spittoon

    So tired. So very, very tired.

    But if I go to sleep now, I’ll wake up around midnight.

    But if I wait to go to sleep, I won’t be tired anymore.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, I’m going to bed so I’ll be ready to party tomorrow. Have to go in a little early but only half day tomorrow. Dentist appointment before fun starts.

    2. Lachowsky

      I have spent 120 hours at work in the last ten days. I got off at 7pm today and don’t have to go back until 7pm tomorrow. I’m wore out, but I have to stay up tonight, because if I dont, I won’t be able to sleep in tomorrow and that will totally fuck my ability to work the night shift for the next few days.

      Shift work. it will kill me one day.

  50. KibbledKristen

    OMG Froome just followed his teammate into the camper vans like a fucking lemming!

    (to be fair, Aru also followed Froome’s teammate)

  51. straffinrun

    Anyways, here’s a list of Dr Hook song titles.

    1 When You’re In Love With A Beautiful Woman
    2 Sylvia’s Mother
    3 Sexy Eyes
    4 Sharing The Night Together
    5 A Little Bit More
    6 Cover Of The Rolling Stone
    7 Only Sixteen
    8 The Cover Of The Rolling Stone
    9 Better Love Next Time
    10 Walk Right

    1. 10 better Hook songs

      1. I Call That True Love
      2. I got stoned and I missed it
      3. Penicillin Penny
      4. Makin’ it Natural
      5. Freakin’ at the Freaker’s ball
      6. Four Years older Than Me
      7. Get my Rocks Off
      8. Roland the Roadie and Gertrude
      9. Lookin for Pussy
      10. Acapulco Goldie

      1. straffinrun

        Had never heard of number 9. Wow.

        1. It’s not my favorite but I threw it in because ..well pussy.

          Story time…This is all hearsay but they were booked at my little towns theater back in the day and the promoter was a dirt-bag who absconded with the loot but Hook played anyway. The theater wasn’t gonna get their cut so they had no security,concessions,or anything. One old dude I know who claims to have been there says he assessed the situation walked down to the nearest beer selling establishment bought a case went back sat in the balcony with his beer and some smoke and had one hell of a time. I watch those Whistle Stop videos and imagine it was like that. I’m only a little bit jealous.

  52. KibbledKristen

    Man, Aru was digging. Animal!

  53. Gilmore

    not sure if this was mentioned elsewhere

    “DeVos Calls on Congress to Clarify Title IX”
    http://www.weeklystandard.com/devos-calls-on-congress-to-clarify-title-ix/article/2008817

    the prior news was just “‘Dept of Ed flunkies suggest ‘change is coming’” but little in the real way of promises about what might materially change. this seems like something more tangible.

    i think what is being proposed here is far better (imo) than the idea of merely ‘rescinding the “Dear Colleague letter’. Instead, she’s saying, “Clarify title IX: permanently”

    any change to DoE guidance could always change w/ future administrations. With this, they could very decisively narrow the scope of Title IX and reduce the expose of colleges to perpetual liability and bureaucratic mission-creep.

    That said, i am skeptical that congress – esp the shitshow Ryan is supposedly running – will sack up and do anything.

    1. Lachowsky

      That said, i am skeptical that congress – esp the shitshow Ryan is supposedly running – will sack up and do anything.

      Our congress is useless. There isn’t enough unity in the republic parry to do anything. The Rs range in ideology from Democrat lite to libertarianish. They will never be able to get together and come up with a solution to anything because their ideologies are so far strung. I expect nothing out of them.

      1. creech

        Exactly. Five people will show up outside my GOP congressman’s office with “Cong. X hates the LGBTQ community” placards and he will go out of his way to assure them, and the media, that he thinks De Vos is going too far. Then he’ll whip off to a fund raiser with the local Chamber big shots and claim he is for “getting government off the backs of the American people.” Then the five folks he placated will never vote for him anyway and the big shots will still fill his campaign coffers because “we cannot have a Democrat win this seat.”

        1. Gilmore

          its like you have some crystal ball that can show the future

  54. KibbledKristen

    Cynical me says Froome will do a Landis tomorrow.

    1. R C Dean

      Dope up in a failed desperate attempt to win the Tour?

    1. Gilmore

      I stopped reading at “Kid Rock”

  55. CPRM

    I used to do photoshop contests over at Cracked.com , one of the themes for a while was ‘photoshop the news’, with all the top hatting going on today I wonder if we would have enough participants to run something like that once a week. I mostly did stuff like this.

    1. CPRM

      one in another context, because I’m generous.

      1. CPRM

        One last one, I swear.

          1. DOOMco

            those are all pretty funny.

          2. CPRM

            Thanks, and, if others were to also participate, we could do something with a few of these every week here. I’d be down to contribute.

          3. Send in yer ideas!

  56. Derpetologist

    How Thick is Your Bubble? A quiz from Charles Murray that measures how much of an out-of-touch snob you are. I scored 49.

    http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/white-educated-and-wealthy-congratulations-you-live-in-a-bubble/

    1. Rhywun

      I could just as easily turn this around and say that people who have lived in a small town all their life and never attended college live in a bubble. Stupid.

      1. Derpetologist

        I think what he was going for is: how much do you have in common with poor and middle class people? The bottom 60% of the population that is.

        1. Rhywun

          Lots of poor people have never held a factory job or eaten at Ponderosa. The questions are ridiculous.

          1. Derpetologist

            But those things are much more likely to be true of poor and middle class people. Ditto for not having college degrees or having served in the military.

          2. Rhywun

            I grew up without a father and my mom worked secretarial jobs. We couldn’t afford to drive out to the burbs to eat at those chain restaurants. He’s clearly angling for a certain type of poor or middle class person, and why that type does not live in a bubble and the other types do is a mystery to me.

          3. Derpetologist

            That’s a really good point. There weren’t any questions about parents or guardians, even though there are major correlations there.

          4. CPRM

            Well, (I agree its nonsensical) it isn’t really about poor, so much as blue collar; which usually is pretty synonymous with factory jobs. There was also a question about attending union meetings, which I’m guessing a positive response would ‘up’ your blue collar cred, missing the point that being blue collar doesn’t mean you’re pro-union. It’s and academic guessing at how ‘real working people’ live.

          5. DOOMco

            My blue collar and manual labor jobs never included any union meetings.
            It is going for a specific type of person to take the test as well.

          6. Rhywun

            And my union jobs were all “white collar”, part-time jobs I took to make ends meet while I was living in my college bubble.

          7. Attending union meetings would be most likely for government-sector workers, right?

    2. CPRM

      63…I’ll admit, I’m one of them poor country folk. This question “How many times in the last year have you eaten at one of the following restaurant chains?

      Applebee’s
      Waffle House
      Denny’s
      IHOP
      Chili’s
      Outback Steakhouse
      Ruby Tuesday
      T.G.I. Friday’s
      Ponderosa Steakhouse”

      Thems those fancy big city places, I ain’t so highfalutin.

      1. Rhywun

        So if I grew up poor in a rust-belt city where those chains exist only in the suburbs, that counts “against” me because I’ve never eaten there? I’m not sure they’re testing for what they think they are.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        I hadn’t eaten at a lot of those restaurants in the last 5 years because we don’t have one in our area.

        And the Denny’s is one of the worst in the country.

      3. Derpetologist

        “Thems those fancy big city places, I ain’t so highfalutin.”

        Yes, but the odds of finding an Ivy League grad in one is about the same as finding one at a monster truck rally.

    3. Bobarian LMD

      66

    4. Gustave Lytton

      70 but only because it’s bullshit. How the fuck would I know if my neighbors have degrees or not? My dad worked worked sales for a tech company had two grad degrees and a EE undergrad but he was neither a manager nor in one of those supposed prestige jobs. Hell, the foreman of any sort of blue collar activity is a managerial position and in Murray’s bubble.

      I walked on the factory floor of that same tech company (back when they manufactured in the US). Poverty sucks even if you’re in grad school. No option on those questions where more than one answer applies.

      Even when I agree with his thesis, Murray always comes across as a smug elitist knowitall prick.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Oh, and no Waffle House around here because they’re not nationwide. I did eat at one about two months for the first time in 19 years.

        1. DOOMco

          We have an ihop in boulder, i think?
          I have my places I like, I go there.

        2. Gustave Lytton

          Also, which versions of True Grit or Clash of the Titans?

          1. CPRM

            True Blue Collar-John Wayne True Grit; Hollywood idea of Blue Collar-Cohen Bros version

      2. Derpetologist

        “Murray always comes across as a smug elitist knowitall prick.”

        Perhaps his bubble is the thickest of all.

    5. DOOMco

      Not bad.

      1. Derpetologist

        I lost points for being a non-smoker, not playing sports in high school, being non-religious, and not watching a lot of TV or movies.

          1. CPRM

            Too many numbers for the amount of gin consumed.

          2. DOOMco

            I probably couldn’t do it again at this point.
            I’m losing track.

    6. Gilmore

      I should probably have been classed as the most bubble-living out of touch snob on earth (lived in nothing but cities all my life) yet i scored in the mid-40s (i took both the old and new test).
      i think there were some q’s which might be weighted poorly. or maybe i just live a more heterogeneous life than their idealized bubble-liver

    7. SP

      The only thing you need to notice is where this quiz is hosted.

      The end.

      1. CPRM

        It amazes me that ‘Free To Choose’ was a PBS program. Have things changed that much, or was it a fluke?

        1. Number.6

          Changed that much. Back then, Friedman was a respectable, if somewhat ‘out there’ academic.

    8. Pomp

      54. Fucking stupid quiz. The breadwinner and poverty nonsense I got to affirm was applicable through mid childhood, then my parents substantially improved their station in life through a lot of hard work before they divorced. The factory floor thing is ridiculous in that many extremely well-paid people work on factory floors.

  57. Derpetologist

    Burger vendor taken to court, fined for “hate speech” for criticizing Islam

    https://www.jihadwatch.org/2017/07/sharia-uk-burger-vendor-taken-to-court-fined-for-hate-speech-for-criticizing-islam

    ***
    A BURGER van owner has been prosecuted for refusing to serve a sausage sandwich to a customer who argued against his anti-Islamic views.

    Retired merchant seaman Jim Gardiner, 73, began chatting to landscape gardener Piers Palmer, 46, at the Ship’s Galley burger van he runs near the M6….

    When Mr Gardiner, originally from Craghead, near Stanley, in County Durham produced some laminated anti-Islamic literature from beneath his sauce bottles, Mr Palmer refused to read it.

    At that point the angry burger vendor refused to make his sausage sandwich and bluntly told his customer to “do one.”

    A furious Mr Palmer reported him to the police for “hate speech” and Mr Gardiner found himself before a court for the first time in his life….

    Mr Palmer told the court: “He said it was the Muslims and Pakistanis in Manchester and London who were the real problem, and not people like us.
    ***

    1. CPRM

      I can see the next season of Todd Margret in this story.

      1. DOOMco

        +1 can of thunder muscle

    2. Gilmore

      Gardiner was fined £127 and ordered to pay costs and compensation of £700.

      neither the excerpt or the original article specify the law under which “saying stuff someone doesn’t like” gets you fined. Did i miss it?

      1. Derpetologist

        I’m pretty sure the charge was wrongthink

        ***
        Gardiner was fined £127, with a £30 victim surcharge, and ordered to pay £50 compensation to Mr Palmer. He must also pay £620 prosecutions costs.

        After the case, Mr Palmer described what Gardiner said that day as “hate speech”.

        He said: “If he was willing to say that to me, a man in his mid 40s, you have to wonder about the effect on somebody more vulnerable. There should be zero tolerance of any sort of hate speech.

        “It just breeds division – and it’s absolutely counter-productive.”
        ***

        [head desk]

        http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/07/11/burger-van-owner-prosecuted-going-anti-islamic-rant-refusing/

        1. CPRM

          “It just breeds division – and it’s absolutely counter-productive.”

          Good to see Mr. Palmer is aware of the affect his world view has.

        2. Gilmore

          a £30 victim surcharge,

          jesus, what if he’d said this shit on the internet??! he could have been fined *billions*

          it seems the closest i can come to an actual “law” is = “a racially aggravated public order offence

          as far as i can tell, equivalent to “disturbing the peace”+ some ‘racial’ strap on.

          this strikes me as exactly the sort of petty-totalitarianism the Antifa people think would bring about racial-utopia.

          1. Derpetologist

            [siren]

            robot voice: Gilmore, you are fined 10 credits for violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1zhe85spsw

          2. CPRM

            Gilmore doesn’t even know how to use the three seashells.

          3. Gilmore

            But seriously, does anyone actually think that shit like this is going to make anyone LESS racially intolerant?

            fining people for hate speech just makes it more likely people are silent-haters who channel their resentments in more insidious ways.

          4. CPRM

            I live near 2 Indian reservations; the things that made people around here ‘racist’ against them wasn’t that they were a different race, it was always that they got separate treatment. I’ve had discussions before with black people about the civil rights laws, and how the law forcing racists to serve people only hides the fact that they are racist, where if they were legally allowed to discriminate we could boycott them. Nods in agreement all around, but we shouldn’t do it, because…

          5. Gilmore

            I live near 2 Indian reservations

            all i could think was, “mmmm tax-free smokes and booze”

          6. Derpetologist

            Anti-Racism Laws Mutate Racism Into Newer, Stronger Form

            http://www.theonion.com/article/anti-racism-laws-mutate-racism-into-newer-stronger-1748

            ***
            WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Monday by the Center For The Study Of Human-Morality-Legislation Attempts, the passage of anti-racism laws in recent decades may have caused racism to mutate into newer, stronger forms, undermining federal efforts to control the spread of the disease by spawning new strains of “super-racism” impervious to traditional treatment methods.
            ***

          7. CPRM

            all i could think was, “mmmm tax-free smokes and booze”

            Yeah, my smokes in white town are $7.95 (we have low tobacco taxes to begin with, super low alcohol taxes) $6 on the res

          8. kbolino

            Hey, he also has to pay £620 for the privilege of being prosecuted!

            Any one piece of it could be FYTW, but then they make it FYTW to the 4th power: pay the state for the crime, pay the state for the victim, pay the victim for the crime, and pay the prosecutor for his time.

      2. Derpetologist

        wiki sez

        ***
        In England and Wales the Public Order Act 1986 prohibits, by its Part 3, expressions of racial hatred, which is defined as hatred against a group of persons by reason of the group’s colour, race, nationality (including citizenship) or ethnic or national origins. Section 18 of the Act says:

        A person who uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or displays any written material which is threatening, abusive or insulting, is guilty of an offence if—

        (a) they intends thereby to stir up racial hatred, or

        (b) having regard to all the circumstances racial hatred is likely to be stirred up thereby.

        Offences under Part 3 carry a maximum sentence of seven years imprisonment or a fine or both.[6]

        The Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994 inserted Section 4A into the Public Order Act 1986. That part prohibits anyone from causing alarm or distress. Section 4A states:

        (1) A person is guilty of an offence if, with intent to cause a person harassment, alarm or distress, he— (a) uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour, or (b) displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, thereby causing that or another person harassment, alarm or distress.
        ***

        [face palm]

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_speech_laws_in_the_United_Kingdom

        1. CPRM

          That wiki caused me alarm and distress, I’m going to make the UK penalize it.

          1. SP

            No place does it include religion. And yet.

        2. Gilmore

          I don’t mean to play counsel to the accused… but didn’t he make pains to point out,

          “Asked if he had strong views about Muslims, he replied: “I have strong views about Islam.” “

          and Islam is not = “colour, race, nationality (including citizenship) or ethnic or national origins”. Its a religion.

          that said, that fucking law (esp Section 4A) is a travesty. Its basically “whatever hurts someone’s feelings is criminalized”

  58. straffinrun

    Trump sempai. Only repost that because she recently did an interview with Red Ice TV. Awwwkward. She obviously didn’t know who those guys were.

    1. CPRM

      If I remember my correct, you’re originally from Wisconsin?

      1. straffinrun

        Yes.. You too?

        1. CPRM

          50 miles from GB, family got season tickets to them Packers.

          1. DOOMco

            The first NFL game I went to was a Green Bay one.
            It was cold and great.

          2. CPRM

            Only NFL games I’ve ever been to are Packer games. Our tickets are now about row 16 at the 45. Used to be like row 70 at the south 10, shitty.

          3. DOOMco

            That is a nice spot.

          4. CPRM

            behind the visitor bench, had a good time razzing Randy Moss back in the day. (I was at the ‘moon’ game)

          5. straffinrun

            Raised in Chicken Waffles. At least that’s what we called Chippewa Falls.

          6. CPRM

            Good, that’s north of HWY 29, places south of there are suspect.

          7. CPRM

            If Brandy old Fashions were popular out there, might enjoy this nugget from Lewis Black

          8. straffinrun

            People do drink a lot. But there are also large groups that don’t. My brother’s wedding party had 200 guests. Only 5 of us were drinking. Wild.

          9. CPRM

            My cousin got married in MN, she only had 2 kegs ordered. We were dry before midnight.

          10. straffinrun

            Oh, Minnesota. Gotta love how they look down on Wisconsin(ites)? Speaking of which, I remember spending a couple hours watching the local version of CSPAN covering a heated house debate on whether to call them “Wisconsinites” or “Wisconsonians”. I don’t remember who won because I was a bit, uh, high.

          11. CPRM

            Also, CWA, Cheese Heads With Attitude (not sure if they were as big west of here)

          12. Stillhunter

            Another Sconnie here too. Notice the avatar? Guess who? The player with that number, not the boy (my son). Just to keep this relatively G-rated.

    2. Gilmore

      maybe my instincts are all fucked up, but she looks/sounds at least half-western/american?

      i also don’t know who red ice are.

      1. Gilmore

        but the comments suggest to me that it is…. alt righty?

        this definitely falls into the category of “shit i can’t tell whether they’re serious or not” =

        i don’t think Japan is doomed very soon because the Jew can’t really hide among them to destroy them from within

      2. CPRM

        red ice was the russian hockey team the mighty ducks had to face maybe?

      3. straffinrun

        Ethno staters or identitarians. Similar to Black Pigeon.

        1. Gilmore

          Similar to Black Pigeon.

          (sigh)

          now you’re just fucking with me.

          “But nothing like Green Octopus, which is more like Blue Lava”

          1. straffinrun

            Hey, he’s here, too. The Nips aren’t gonna fuck with him so I’ll do it.

          2. Gilmore

            i was just saying i don’t know him either, so the comparison isn’t really….

            …yeah, i’m just going to drink some whiskey. peace.

          3. straffinrun

            Black Pigeon Speaks is a quite popular YouTuber. Interesting at times, but a lot of the ethnic third rail stuff.

      4. straffinrun

        No, she Japanese. Does most of her stuff in Japanese and has never spent any real time in the states. She’s proud of that fact.

  59. thrakkorzog

    Kawaii Desu, so would.

    I also hate that I spent like three semesters studying Japanese in college back when Japan was going to take over everything,. And the now the only phrases I can remember make me sound like a Weeaboo.