Tuesday Afternoon Links

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to today’s edition of sleep deprived afternoon links. Hopefully this resembles something not entirely unlike links.

  • Colon and rectal cancer incidents are rising in young people. It may be prudent to get your asses checked earlier.
  • More bad news for Big Diamond, every kiss may begin with Kay, but giving her a job at a jewelry store isn’t the same as giving her jewelry.
  • JP Morgan software does 360,000 hours of lawyers’ billable work in seconds. This surprises nobody who has ever had to employ a lawyer for a matter that should take minutes and somehow takes 20 hours.
  • The robc Memorial “State Out of Marriage” Bill has passed out of Committee in Alabama. Is it poetic justice that bigots created marriage licensing and now want to undo it? Is this the Libertarian Moment when politicians wake up to the Iron Laws?
  •  China to consider financial incentives for second child. Why, its almost like the State’s policy led to entirely predictable, but completely unforeseen negative consequences. We should definitely encourage the American government to create as many of those situations as possible, right? Right?

    Cancer isn't funny
    We’re the government and we’re here to help you.

Comments

364 responses to “Tuesday Afternoon Links”

  1. Pomp

    More bad news for Big Diamond, every kiss may begin with Kay, but giving her a job at a jewelry store isn’t the same as giving her jewelry.

    I feel a certain sense of…deja vu….

    1. Brett L

      Do I owe you a hat tip? I’m so punchy from not sleeping, I may have stolen. Here. You’re the cat's ass cat’s ass.

      1. Pomp

        Haha, that’s not it at all. Note to self: fake attribution yields hentai. Note to self: fake attribution in the future to get more hentai.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          That’s not hentai. It’s ecchi.

          If it was Hentai she’d be in the process of being penetrated by multiple tentacles. Or her brother. Or both.

          1. bacon-magic

            Pics?

          2. bacon-magic

            Should this have a warning? I’m at work so…

          3. That depends. Are you a fisherman?

          4. bacon-magic

            Boooooooo…you used that before. Cat’s ass for you.

          5. John Titor

            Oh I’m sorry, you wanted me to give you actual hentai instead of tasteful 19th century Japanese art?

            Good to know.

          6. bacon-magic

            Ok, firewall did not work on last picture. Why in the fuck did it work on this site originally? It took forever to be able to post here during the day.

          7. bacon-magic

            You know nothing, John Titor.

          8. waffles

            WEEBS

          9. Juvenile Bluster

            Say it loud, I’m weeb and I’m proud!

          10. John Titor

            Filthy gaijin breakfast!

          11. Pomp

            It’s ecchi.

            Huh. You learn something new every day. Thank you.

      2. SugarFree

        Don’t let ’em push you around, Brett.

      3. Pomp

        P.S. sorry to hear about the vomiting. My sprout had a stomach virus the other day. No piss bucket issues in this house to date though, thankfully.

      4. bacon-magic

        Dat ass.

        1. DOOMco

          MEoW

  2. ‘Jesus’ gets cross stuck in underground station roof as he travels up the escalator and shouts ‘oh s***’

    The long-haired, bearded young man dressed in robes was riding up the escalator in the western German city of Cologne, carrying a full-sized crucifix.

    His spiritual demeanour is broken however when the cross, resting on the escalator’s rising floor, is forced by its motion into the ceiling.

    He then frantically attempts to tug it out, much to the amusement of onlookers .

    A man is heard shouting: “Oh Scheisse” (“Oh s***”)

    You know who else swore in German…

    1. Agent Cooper

      Hans Gruber?

    2. AlmightyJB

      My Nazi Dominatrix

    3. R C Dean

      Ahnuld?

      Oh, never mind. He swore in Austrian.

    4. Dry_Gin_Wet_Farts

      Helmut Kohl?

    5. bacon-magic

      Scheissekoff was commonly used in my household. I don’t know if it’s an actual word.

      1. bacon-magic

        Oops, screwed up the you know who else threading. Answer: my siblings?

      2. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, my dad used to say that. Not German but was stationed there.

        1. bacon-magic

          My dad cussed in Amurican. We were not allowed to. So scheissekoff, dumekoff(?), and other work arounds were employed.

          1. Zero Sum Game

            Kopf = head.

          2. bacon-magic

            That’s it. Never knew how to spell it.

    6. westernsloper

      Jason Bourne’s girlfriend?

      1. deepspeed

        That’s exactly what popped in my head.

    7. Pomp

      Hitler in his bunker as the Red Army closed in?

    8. BakedPenguin

      John McCain?
      Mitt Romney?
      Donald Trump?

    9. UnCivilServant

      The popes? – until they had a falling out with the Holy Roman Emperors….

    10. Bobarian LMD

      Grandma?

      1. bacon-magic

        Gam gam?

        1. AceDroman

          +1 mark of the whore

  3. Pat

    Uproar as Canadian constable cleared of on-duty rape

    A jury’s decision to acquit a Canadian police officer of raping a woman after giving her a lift home has sparked uproar in a small coastal city.

    Protesters gathered on Monday outside court in St John’s, Newfoundland, to demand the constable be fired.

    Pc Carl Douglas Snelgrove, 38, was cleared on Friday of raping a 21-year-old woman at her apartment while he was on duty on 21 December 2014.

    After the verdict, demonstrators threw eggs and coffee at the court.

    The married officer, who has served with Royal Newfoundland Constabulary for a decade, is expected to face disciplinary action.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It was clearly off-duty rape

    2. Agent Cooper

      After the verdict, demonstrators threw eggs and coffee at the court.

      Hey! That was my breakfast!

      1. R C Dean

        And the local Tim Horton’s posts banner sales . . . .

    3. Bobarian LMD

      You can’t rape while you’re on duty… she has to comply with instructions.

      Totality of circs.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think your interpretation is correct. It has to be on-duty rape-rape to count.

    4. thom

      If the only correct verdict was guilty, what was the point of the trial?

      1. R C Dean

        To reach the correct verdict?

      2. R C Dean

        Who knows? Maybe she was a badge bunny who banged him enthusiastically, and then accused him of rape when he wouldn’t marry her and impregnate her with many jackbooted babies.

        Not like I’m read up on what came out at trial. If I wanted facts, I wouldn’t be on the internet, now, would I?

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          It was a “she was too drunk to consent” case.

          When I saw the headline on another site, I was prepared to be outraged, because… c’mon. But it seems that based on the evidence it was the correct verdict.

  4. robc

    Was that me being referenced, because if so, my name was spelled wrong.

    1. robc

      The legislation would abolish all requirements to obtain a marriage license in Alabama

      An Alabama bill that would abolish marriage licenses in the state

      those are not equivalent at all.

  5. westernsloper

    Colon and rectal cancer incidents are rising in young people. It may be prudent to get your asses checked earlier.

    I swear I heard a rubber glove *snap* when I read that.

    1. Drake

      I have to get my first colonoscopy soon. Not looking forward to the day before spent on the can.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        At first, it doesn’t seem so bad, but then it won’t stop… and then comes the cold sweats… and the cramping…

        but then it’s over… OH GOD! NOT AGAIN!

        I HAVEN”T HAD CORN IN 3 WEEKS! WTF!!! *pant – pant – pant*

        1. WyoDave

          I turn 50 in 30 days. I’m making an appointment for the procedure as a gift to myself. It’s fun getting old.

          1. My new doctor said they weren’t doing them much when guys turn 50. Said they were doing something non-invasive and only doing the colonoscopy if that turned something up.

            Also, my new doctor is a very attractive woman. I was quite surprised when Banjos set us up with a female, because I had a bad experience with a female doctor once. But this one is a pleasure to go and see.

          2. bacon-magic

            I feel like I should shake your hand or buy the product your selling every time I look at your avatar. You sexy bitch, you.

          3. Lafe Long

            My new doctor said they weren’t doing them much when guys turn 50. Said they were doing something non-invasive and only doing the colonoscopy if that turned something up.

            Also, my new doctor is a very attractive woman.

            Hmm… my new female Doc said the same thing.

            Perhaps the lady MDs are just tired of playing roto-rooter on 50-somethings.

          4. bacon-magic

            I won’t get social security, and now you tell me no hot doctor roto-rootering? *has sad*

          5. Old Man With Candy

            I had the opposite experience with my last wife. She was having trouble getting pregnant and decided that it wasn’t because she was 43, it was because of me. “You need to see a urologist.” So I found a cute female urologist nearby and made sure she had small hands and slender fingers (my anus is a member of the “exit only” club). I endured the exam and when she called us into her office to go over her findings, she smiled at my then-wife and said, “Mrs. _____, your husband is normal. But impressive.” Then-wife glared at me and demanded i see another urologist whom SHE would choose. Ugly old dude with gnarly hands. Same findings, but he left out the “impressive” part.

            I really should have known to divorce her then and there.

          6. WyoDave

            My doc is an old fart and probably set in his ways. Then again, I had my annual physical a couple of weeks ago and had my first prostate examine so maybe he just has a thing for butts.

          7. Suthenboy

            This. They are trying to softly coerce me into getting one. Dumbasses dont know me. I’ll take the non-invasive TYVM. It hasn’t been a year since I was at a cousin’s funeral who was killed by a colonoscopy and several years ago my mother-in-law nearly died from one.

            The death rate from that procedure is 1/1000. Not very good odds if you ask me. Dying from peritonitis because some goof punched a hole in my guts with a butt scope isnt really on my to-do list.

          8. GSL in E

            Yeah. They can screen for any problems with a fecal occult blood test, which is not invasive, and only go to colonoscopy if that test shows something abnormal.

      2. Sonoran Desert Rat

        The prep is certainly worse than the procedure.

        That being said, don’t put it off. Early detection saved my life. They may have removed the majority of my colon, but I’m still upright and breathing.

    2. I look forward to the battle for funding between the colon cancer lobby and the breast cancer lobby.

      1. Breast cancer lobby has better visuals.

  6. R C Dean

    This surprises nobody who has ever had to employ a lawyer for a matter that should take minutes and somehow takes 20 hours.

    Well, when they charge by the hour . . .

    You get more of what you pay for . . . .

    The billable hour is a cancer on the legal profession. Its why I’ve been fired by three law firms, and been rather more successful as an in-house lawyer.

    1. robc

      You sound like a friend of mine.

      I did a dozen years as a consultant, and I much preferred flat rate bids to hourly work.

      1. Agent Cooper

        The funny thing is in design and advertising work, you almost never make on a job what you’ve put into it.

        1. Suthenboy

          That is true in a lot of fields.

    2. RBS

      Listen, by the time I find the file, open the file, review the file, make some coffee, drink my coffee, call you back because the message you left with my assistant doesn’t make any sense then actually get to work answering your question its already been like half a day.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      It’s why I despise my job and really, really wish I could find an in house job.

      Speaking of, I need to go put my time in for the past week.

      1. Glitterstorm

        I want to die everyday I look at the logo.

        1. Suthenboy

          Lawyers? I know a psychiatrist, a contractor, and a gun shop owner who are all ex-lawyers. From the little I know less than half of law school grads are working as lawyers ten years down the road. One I know who is still practicing told me he wakes up at night in a cold sweat from nightmares about the stuff he has done decades ago that he is afraid will come back to haunt him.

    4. Volren

      As an accountant who spent a long stretch of his career in public practice, I feel for you.

    5. trshmnstr

      The billable hour is a cancer on the legal profession.

      Yup. I took a corporate counsel class/internship my last semester of law school, and a GC of a large manufacturing company came into our class and said the same thing. The incentives are perverted when you bill on time spent rather than work produced.

  7. Since 2008, nearly every state moved right in both presidential and state politics

    wo years later, it was over. The Democrats retook the House and split the Senate. Two years after that, the Senate was in Democratic hands and Barack Obama was elected president. Over four years, the Republican lock had become a Democratic rout.

    The picture was the same at the state level, as we noted in 2015. That blue bump right before 2010 was the turnaround.

    But that graph shows what happened next: The bottom fell out. Not only did the Democrats give up their gains in state legislatures, they hit a new low.

    The problem wasn’t just an electoral one. Gallup polling showed Americans in nearly every state identifying more heavily as Republican.

    1. Hyperion

      And the only reason that’s a good thing is that Democrats are now full on commies. The GOP are just another type of statists who believe people should be thrown into a cage over a plant. A pox on both of them.

    2. westernsloper

      Gallup polling showed Americans in nearly every state identifying more heavily as Republican.

      I think they are libertarian, but big L Libertarians are shitty at describing what that is.

      1. John Titor

        I think it’s less that, and more the Democrats have actively soured their brand so much that in a two party system more people are instinctively identifying with their opposite.

        1. The Last American Hero

          Very much this. If Joe Biden had run for Pres. and HRC had lost party backing due to the cloud of scandals that followers her around, the narrative is a lot different, and Joe is an idiot that perpetually sticks his foot in his mouth.

  8. Pat

    French police sniper shoots two in error at Hollande speech

    A French police sniper has accidentally shot and injured two people during a speech by President Francois Hollande in western France.

    The shot was fired as the officer moved position on a roof about 100m (328ft) from a tent where Mr Hollande was speaking in the town of Villognon.

    The bullet went through the canvas of the tent, where drinks were being made. It passed through a waiter’s thigh and lodged in another person’s calf.

    The injuries were not life-threatening.

    1. Brett L

      So without reading, negligent discharge from having his finger on the trigger or negligent discharge from having his equipment foul on the trigger?

      1. R C Dean

        Negligent discharge from having a fucking round in the fucking chamber when he didn’t have a target in view?

        1. Brett L

          Its the cops, RC. They don’t always clear the chamber before cleaning their guns. Went to visit my father-in-law in prison. The have a sand can out front and part of the LEO procedure is to unload the magazine, clear the chamber, and then “dry” fire into the can. I wonder how many rounds are in the bottom of that fucking thing.

          1. R C Dean

            Seriously, I thought those cans were for testing your weapon on the way out.

        2. Drake

          Wouldn’t a police sniper have a round chambered while on overwatch? Some maniac starts shooting at the President, you probably don’t have time to work the bolt. But he should have had the safety engaged.

          I wonder if the guy just fell asleep.

        3. Bobarian LMD

          Cops ALWAYS have one in the chamber. That is like part of the uniform.

          A sniper should know not to have his finger anywhere near the trigger, though.

    2. And nothing else happened.

  9. Source: Trump envisions bill allowing many immigrants to stay in US

    President Donald Trump envisions compromise immigration legislation where those who aren’t serious or violent criminals could stay in the US legally, hold a job and pay taxes, without having to worry about being deported, a senior administration official told reporters Tuesday.

    The President is eager to pass an immigration bill, the official said, and is thinking about adding the topic to his speech tonight before a joint session of Congress. Either way, an immigration bill remains a desire for his first term. The topic of enforcing current immigration laws is already in the speech, the official said.

    The President believes that the nation is now in a position where it can pass immigration legislation, the senior administration official said, with the need to have “a softening on both sides. There’s got to be a coming together.”

    1. Agent Cooper

      a softening on both sides. There’s got to be a coming together.”

      Ewwww.

      1. Suthenboy

        It’s not even a euphemism, is it?

    2. Gilmore

      Its a trap!

    3. R C Dean

      Saw a report that he is planning on having (crime) victims of illegal immigrants attend. No idea if its true, but man, the ‘sploding heads if he does will be awesome.

      1. Will he be handing out white lab coats?

    4. Agent Cooper

      My virtual ad agency has created a spec spot for a local brand. They like it, but want to (of course) test it out. The more views/shares/etc. we get the better the chance we’ll get to do more low-budget (not no-budget like this video) versions for them. All I’m asking for is for the fine commenters here to click and watch a bit of the video to increase the views. Thanks.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE_14zKaMM0

      1. Tundra

        I like it!

        And you used the word “shlub”. Well done.

        1. Agent Cooper

          Thanks. Don’t know why the post repeated down below. Squirrelz?

        2. westernsloper

          As well as “sweaty sack”. That term should make it into more advertising.

      2. SP

        If you like it, also click the thumbs up button. That helps a lot with visibility.

        1. DOOMco

          done!

        2. Pat

          Now that’s a bridge too far. I have to log in?

      3. Technically, isn’t that fraud?

        1. Pat

          That would depend on what he told them, but our clicks/views are as good as anybody else’s.

        2. Agent Cooper

          It’s spec work, so we haven’t been paid for it. They can sue me for nothing.

      4. I do not care for the video. It insists upon itself.

        Obviously I’m kidding. It’s well-done.

      5. Comments disabled? You don’t trust us?

        1. Agent Cooper

          I don’t run their YT page.

      6. RothbardsBitch1

        I liked it too. Gave it a thumbs up.

    5. AlmightyJB

      So Amnesty huh. That will be fun.

  10. Pat

    Why your car servicing costs could be about to rise

    An almighty row has broken out over who should have access to all the data new cars generate.

    Manufacturers want to have control of it all, but independent repair shops, fleet operators, insurance companies and anyone else who could benefit from this data, argue that this would be blatantly anti-competitive.

    Policy wonks in the European Union are currently wrestling with the issue.

    So why should you care?

    Because it could mean that your car servicing costs become more expensive and you may have to pay more for other services that rely on such data, from independent repair centres to “pay-as-you-drive” insurance companies.

    1. R C Dean

      Its data on a device I own, generated from my activities. Sounds like my goddam data to do what I want with, to me.

      1. Tundra

        No chance. I guarantee your sales contract will contain a release within a few years.

        Progress!

      2. Juice

        Sure, you can do whatever you want with the encrypted data.

    2. DOOMco

      *Checks 40 for computers*
      Lots of wires and relays.
      one computer looking thing near the fuse box that isn’t connected to anything labeled “Emissions Control Unit”

      That said, anyone have a good link to adjusting timing with a gun? I can’t seem to get it down.

      1. R C Dean

        Put the muzzle up against the carburetor and tell it “Listen, you piece of shit, you’re gonna tighten up your timing or else”?

        1. Tundra

          Yeah, but what caliber?

          1. R C Dean

            Depends on the horsepower of the engine, I suppose. I don’t think FJ40s were exactly muscle cars, so you could probably get away with a .32, but I wouldn’t go any lighter than that.

          2. DOOMco

            125hp when new, at sea level. I probably get under 90. torques up above 200 though.

        2. DOOMco

          I have said some things like that.
          He doesn’t respond well to abusive language.

          I really need to rebuild that carb. When it’s warmed up and I turn it off for a few minutes, it won’t start back up unless I crank it through a few revs, and then keep the choke out 1/8.

        3. Private Chipperbot

          Thank you. Laughing as I walk out of office.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        96 Suburban with a 350 big block. I like my tank, it’s repairable.

        1. DOOMco

          Is she named Something Falcon?

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Old Bessie. She steers like a herd of cattle.

          2. DOOMco

            Nice. did 96 still have the frame connecting right to steel bumpers? They really are tanks.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Nah. Unfortunately I found them very easy to replace and very easy to crumple. But cheap.

          4. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Once upon a time, I drive a 76 Suburban. Now that thing was a beast.

        2. Gilmore

          96 Suburban with a 350 big block.

          Speaking of trucks….

      3. Bobarian LMD

        That said, anyone have a good link to adjusting timing with a gun? I can’t seem to get it down.

        Are you disconnecting your vacuum advance before adjusting? Otherwise should be straight forward. Unless it has a mechanical advance?

        1. DOOMco

          Vacuum advance. There might be a small leak that’s causing my issue. I will sort it.
          choke all the way out, right?

          1. Bobarian LMD

            No Choke. get the vacuum leak fixed. though. Way I learned to do it was to unhook the vacuum and get a good regular idle timing and then hook back up to check advance.

            This is a decent video

          2. DOOMco

            Thanks!

      4. WyoDave

        DOOMco, as I recall, you were rebuilding (have rebuilt?) an FJ40? I am in the market for a hobby car and the 40 is near the top of my list. After pricing them though, I’m starting to think that for the money, I should go with a modern Cruiser and tweak it out instead. Thoughts?

        1. DOOMco

          I really like the 60 and 80 series, I wouldn’t call anything after those real landcruisers.
          The 40 and 60 have a lot of common parts, so they can be had cheap if you have a graveyard nearby (there are a few around denver).
          Mine is not a full rebuild. I got it in a farm 3 years ago, paid less than 4500. New 3 core aluminium radiator, new water pump, new battery/ starter/wiring, pulled both axles apart in that 3 year period.
          I also needed to replace the seats right away, the ones in it were from a minivan. mounted on wood blocks, held to the floor with roofing screws. That sucked.
          For my birthday, i convinced my friends to tear it apart and paint it. the rust was getting worse. we didn’t take it off the frame though, we didn’t have the space time or money needed.
          I would look at the 60/62 (no carb and automatic trans version) or the 80. They are a bit cheaper to get, and have a lot less things missing. That said, my 40 has gotten me a thumbs up every day since I bought it.
          My next toyota will be a 1st gen 4runner.

          1. Tundra

            And don’t forget that Doom’s is a daily driver.

            He’s a stud, though…

          2. DOOMco

            *blushes*

          3. DOOMco

            Oh, mine also came with no seals. at all. So in the winter, if it was snowing outside, the snow would fly up over the windshield, under the fiberglass roof, and sprinkle on me. When we painted, I bought all the seals but one, the back hatch. My doors no longer rattle, and the roof is much more secure.

          4. WyoDave

            Thanks for your thoughts. I would love to tear one of those things down and rebuild it. The situation with the seats is quite scary. That’s one of the reasons I’m considering a modern Cruiser – safety (and relative comfort/reliability). But those old FJs do have a lot of character.

          5. DOOMco

            I only drove in the wood block seats 2 days. they day I got it, and the next when I went to the DMV. Safety is a concern, I have a full roll cage from the PO. The 60’s and 80’s got a lot better in that regard though.
            I almost got a 60 instead, but wanted to have the option to take the roof off.

          6. WyoDave

            Nice pic. I’m super jelly.

          7. Pomp

            Good lawd, are those the flatirons in the distance?

          8. DOOMco

            Yes they are.

          9. Agent Cooper

            I need to move to a place with better photo backgrounds.

          10. DOOMco

            Next up on the list is a new suspension, and 3 new tires to match my “spare”

  11. Gilmore

    Sweet, sweet, bullet-points; how much do i love thee? let me contemplate the ways

    1.
    II.
    c)

    1. bacon-magic

      You have a fetish, sir.

      1. Gilmore

        It is a religion, thank you.

        [*Disclosure = GILMORE belongs to an obscure cult which believes that mankind’s holy texts will only be properly understood once they have all been broken down into a single PowerPoint presentation, and that PowerPoint is the only medium enabling genuine human understanding; consequently they tend to put an absurd amount of emphasis on the importance of bullet points, margins, and font size]/blockquote>

    2. Pomp

      I don’t see any bullets. I see the makings for numbered lists, however.

      1. bacon-magic

        JATNAS has a fetish too.

  12. Pat

    Canada jiu-jitsu tournament canceled as police threaten arrests

    A jiu-jitsu tournament in Canada was canceled after the event was found to be in violation of a local criminal code.

    The Canada National Pro Jiu-Jitsu committee shared a post on Facebook explaining the Canada Pro Jiu-Jitsu Championships event was unable to proceed as Montreal police stated their intention to arrest participants in the tournament.

    “The SPVM, acting on an internal legal memo that included Jiu-Jitsu as a combat sport, i.e. having strikes (‘an encounter or fight with fists, hands or feet’), according to section 83 of the Canadian Criminal Code, informed the Abu Dhabi Pro Jiu-Jitsu committee that they would proceed to enforce the section to arrest any participant in the tournament,” the committee said. “Furthermore, they informed the committee that the Municipal Prosecutor of Montreal intended to prosecute every such case to court.”

    The event organizers stated the Canada Pro Jiu-Jitsu Championships features Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which does not include strikes.

    “The Canada Pro Jiu-Jitsu committee, the UAE Jiu-Jitsu Federation and numerous members of the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu community attempted to convince the SPVM of the difference between BJJ and Jiu-Jitsu from the time of the complaint,” the committee said.

    1. Grumbletarian

      Plus, not enough of the competitors spoke French.

    2. Drake

      Are they going to start cancelling hockey games?

    3. Suthenboy

      I am confused. Any sport in Canada which includes striking an opponent is illegal? No boxing or martial arts of any kind?

      Proggies really do want people to be sheep, dont they?

      1. peachy rex

        Montreal is actually a fairly big boxing city, which makes this extra weird.

  13. TripodKat

    I feel the need to re-post here regarding Pai becoming the head of the FCC… mainly because I think that other thread might already be dead. Anyway, I work in finance specifically geared towards providing loans to rural telecommunications providers. We keep an ear to the ground regarding FCC regulation and subsidization of rural telecom markets. As soon as Pai became head of the FCC, most of my customers began investing in additional fiber lines to facilitate faster internet speeds. Without the looming potential of title 2 regulation, small businesses in America are starting to breathe easier. I can’t tell you how hard it was to get telecom companies to invest under the regime of Tom Wheeler. He was a total jackass.

    1. Gilmore

      thanks for that. its always interesting to hear people’s direct-experience of regulatory effects.

      1. TripodKat

        The major issue in telecom today is the “A-CAM” model for directing subsidies. The legacy support model guaranteed a rate of return of 11.25% for capital expenditures. Today, they are in the middle of gradually decreasing the rate of return to 9.75% (.25% per year decrease). Wheeler, along with his fellow Top Men, devised a one-size-fits-all model to distribute subsidies.

        The basic idea is that you run the A-CAM model vs. your required internet infrastructure build out to determine what your annual subsidies will be over the next 2 years. Then, you try to guess whether the A-CAM model or the legacy support system will be best for your rural telecom company. If you choose A-CAM, you’re stuck with it for the next 10 years – no going back. The problem is that the A-CAM model doesn’t care whether your digging in the flat plains of South Dakota or cutting through the tough bedrock of Idaho or the rugged mountains of Alaska. The model fails to take the different costs into account. Basically, its a beauacrat’s view of rural America. Also, the FCC budgeted for $150 million of A-CAM model support – they received $300 million in requested A-CAM model support. So now they’re considering moving that from the legacy folks even though they’ve already made bets on infrastructure based on the support money.

        Anyway, this waffling has created major uncertainties in the market and has depressed spending. Add on top of this potential title 2 regulation (the FCC’s workaround used to push though net neutrality), and no one spends a fucking dime.

        1. TripodKat

          Annual subsidies over the next 10* years. Not 2 years. Sorry.

          1. waffles

            *triggered*

            Is there anything one-size fits none regulation can’t screw up?

  14. Pat

    Spain appoints sex tsar to encourage couples to have more nookie to boost country’s ‘catastrophically’ low birth rate

    Spain has appointed a ‘sex tsar’ to help boost the country’s “catastrophically low” birth rate .

    Young couples have reportedly blamed being “too tired after a full day at work” and “late nights” for the decrease.

    So, faced with a rapidly declining population, the Senado de Espana has tasked demographic expert Edelmira Barreira with sorting out the problem.

    The move comes after the country reported a higher number of deaths than births for the first time in 2015.

    1. Brett L

      If it were me, I’d start importing talent from South and Central America. Or, get the structural unemployment rate down under 20% so that people feel like starting families. Either/or.

      1. Hyperion

        Problem being that there are no jobs. Most of the new immigrants from South Americ seem to head straight for Germany, where there are still some jobs to be had.

    2. Pomp

      NEED MORE PAYERS LESS AUSTERITY

    3. AlmightyJB

      I’m happy to donate my time to help out some young Spanish senoritas. I’m fixed, but it’s the thought that counts right?

      1. Hyperion

        They don’t shave their legs or armpits. Or is that the Portuguese women?

        1. Tundra

          German.

          1. Hyperion

            German’s do all sorts of weird shit, you can’t pin them down to just one thing. If it’s kinky or weird, they do it.

        2. AlmightyJB

          Worth it.

        3. JaimeRoberto

          What about their mustaches?

          1. Hyperion

            Those are called ‘beards’.

  15. Agent Cooper

    My virtual ad agency has created a spec spot for a local brand. They like it, but want to (of course) test it out. The more views/shares/etc. we get the better the chance we’ll get to do more low-budget (not no-budget like this video) versions for them. All I’m asking for is for the fine commenters here to click and watch a bit of the video to increase the views. Thanks.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE_14zKaMM0

    1. Pat

      Did my part. Not a bad spot.

    2. Gilmore

      Honestly, feedback is probably more important than views

      the only feedback i’d have is = online media ads need to be *fast*. I mean really fast. Its not like TV where you have to think before changing the channel. In the case of that ad, its 10 seconds in and all i’ve learned is the name of the talking ball.

  16. Lafe Long

    DeVos faces backlash for linking HBCUs to school choice

    Historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) are “real pioneers when it comes to school choice,” Education Secretary Betsy DeVos said Monday.

    “They are living proof that when more options are provided to students, they are afforded greater access and great quality,” DeVos said in a statement. “Their success has shown that more options help students flourish.”

    On Twitter, some users argued that DeVos’s statements could be equated to saying that segregated water fountains simply gave people more beverage choices, or that civil rights icon Rosa Parks was standing up for seat choice.

    1. Grumbletarian

      On Twitter, some users are partisan idiots.

    2. UnCivilServant

      Another example of people picking the least charitable interpretation of other TEAM’s words.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t think it matters what she says. They’re going to spin it as racist/elitist/hate the childrenist

    4. Brett L

      Fuckers. Yeah, Moorehouse and Howard were established because the demand for black students at Harvard and Yale were so high.

    5. Hyperion

      Well, see, Devos is a Trump appointee, therefore BAD. That’s all that needs to be known.

    6. R C Dean

      Of course, those black colleges need to have special exemptions from the civil rights laws, or they would have been closed (or converted to normal colleges) in the 70s. DeVos is right on this one – they are an excellent example of school choice. As usual, the progs are stuck in the ’50s, when black colleges were (likely? I really don’t know) “separate but equal”. If they really were Jim Crow colleges as these idiots claim, they would have disappeared long ago.

      Plus, the idiots are probably doing a fine job of insulting and pissing off the alumns from those schools. Well played, DeVos.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Of course, those black colleges need to have special exemptions from the civil rights laws

        Do you have an example where that is the case? As far as I know any institution that receives Federal funds must abide by Affirmative Action. As a consequence some HBCUs have actually been Honky-fied, like West Virginia State University or Bluefield State, which are now White-majority schools.

        It should go without saying, but some folks are still under the impression that HBCUs are only open to Blacks, but that isn’t the case. It’s just that historically they’ve had high African-American enrollment. Of course, this trend is quickly changing as Whites and Asians are wising up and seeking higher concentrations of thicc

        1. Old Man With Candy

          As it happens, my cousin (whiter than I am) got his MD at Howard.

        2. Lafe Long

          Google made me sign in to confirm my age for an ElastiGirl vid?!?

  17. The Late P Brooks

    All I’m asking for is for the fine commenters here to click and watch a bit of the video to increase the views.

    Are these bats made of wood? I hope so, for the sake of your soul.

  18. Lafe Long

    Jesse Ventura Withdraws Trump Support With Epic Post: He’s Going Against The People’s Will

    I thought Donald Trump ran his campaign as “a man of the people.” Someone who vowed to end the corporate takeover of our government, someone who vowed to bring jobs back. Even thinking about reversing state law and making legalized recreational marijuana illegal is going against the people’s will. This is going against job creation and a reliable part of a state’s economy. The citizens of these states VOTED to make recreational marijuana legal. It wasn’t the politicians, it was WE THE PEOPLE. Obviously President Trump is following in the footsteps of every president that came before him: he thinks the Government knows what is best for us. He’s been president for a little over a month, and he’s already forgotten that “We the People” are the Government! AND he’s planning on reinstating private prisons? Let’s connect the dots: Private prisons need to be 80 – 90% full to be profitable. If they aren’t, then states pay a fine. Non-violent drug offenders make it possible for private prisons to be full. Reverse legalized recreational marijuana, and private prisons will remain full. That’s his plan, people.

    1. bacon-magic

      Jesse can suck an egg. Even if I agree with him.

      1. Pat

        I was going to say that Jesse Ventura is such a prick that even if you agree with him he makes you wish you didn’t.

        1. bacon-magic

          ^Correct.

        2. Bobarian LMD

          I seem to recall saying the same thing about Gavin McInnes.

          1. Glitterstorm

            Can’t stand that dude, but I find myself agreeing with him. I almost want to hang out with him lmao

        3. R C Dean

          Yeah, Jesse went onto my shitlist when he pursued his defamation lawsuit against the SEAL sniper’s wife even after he was killed. World-class asshole move there, Jesse.

          1. Tundra

            He won, though, didn’t he?

          2. bacon-magic

            He won douche of the year award.

    2. Pomp

      And 9/11 was an inside job. You’re an idiot if you disagree.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Jet fuel can’t melt Presidential elections.

    3. Tundra

      I think the Trump admin is going to lose on this one. Sessions can jack off to his picture of Anslinger all he wants, but I think the mj genie isn’t going back in the bottle.

      1. SugarFree

        Sessions just today told a meeting of prosecutors that a renewed effort in the war on drugs and a DOJ that did less to look into police misconduct was just what America needed to become great again.

        1. Tundra

          I saw that – he was actually dismissive of police malfeasance – what a fuckhead.

          Does the mj industry have lobbyists yet?

      2. Hyperion

        “but I think the mj genie isn’t going back in the bottle”

        Trump had better put the garden gnome back in the bottle. There is no win for him in that, but there’s a hell of a lot of lose. Hopefully someone in his inner circle can talk some sense into him.

    4. John Titor

      So Jesse’s saying he wanted a sexual tyrannosaurus, but got a slackjawed faggot instead?

  19. Gilmore

    David Remnick, gigantic asshole and editor of the New Yorker, says Russians didn’t muck with campaigns to “help trump”, but rather to simply destabilize an expected Clinton victory.

    I have some personal dislike of the guy for a variety of reasons, but i think he’s right on that point.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The whole theory of “the Russians have been grooming Trump for years” is beyond ridiculous. If the Russians thought Trump had a chance a few years ago, then maybe they should be running the country, because they’re the smartest guys on the planet.

    2. JaimeRoberto

      If I recall correctly, the FBI report said that that was the Russians’ goal. And the Democrats have taken the destabilization ball and run with it.

      If someone were to be pro-Russia, would they favor or oppose fracking? Would they favor or oppose pipelines? Objectively the Democrats are more pro-Russia on both those points, yet somehow that escapes notice in the media.

  20. Gilmore

    File Under = News to No One

    David Harsayani Points Out Dave Weigel is a Shitty Hack

    the nut of it is Weigel’s assertion in the post that Ellison was victim of a “smear campaign”, which mainly consisted of people pointing out true things about him. Which is wrong, because why? because disseminating ‘facts’ is the MSMs job.

    1. Hyperion

      I don’t care. The Dems completely fucked up by not making Ellison the guy. Damnit, they need to listen to me! I totally have their best interest at heart.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I believe you, and wish they had listened to you. It would have been glorious.

      2. Gilmore

        I think they (the Dems) actually dodged a bullet.

        i think they’re fucked, regardless, but i think w/ Ellison it would have been more dramatic (and more entertaining). I

      3. John Titor

        It would have played well with their base, the true progressives and Bernie Bros, but actively alienated them from everyone outside the party. The pragmatic Dems have to play a hilarious game of balance between trying to appease their current followers and not make the party look absolutely insane for anyone on the outside.

        1. Gilmore

          not make the party look absolutely insane for anyone on the outside.

          I think you’re mistaking the “base” for being 100% progressives.

          They’re a minority within the overall party, and only a majority among young people.

          You think Black Churches are particularly progressive? Unions in the midwest? Urban immigrant populations?

          The progs have managed to pretend that they’re the majority; the fact is that they’re just the loudest and most visible because they dominate the media. The rejection of Ellison was a power-play by the people in the “money + power” side of the DNC, which is institutions like ActBlue, NEA, SEIU, AFSCME, etc… which may have some minor “proggy” media-related interests, but are otherwise far more interested in winning elections and handing themselves lots of sweet, sweet government money.

  21. Pan Zagloba

    Taiwanese Animated News latest is about Facebook trying to get into China.

    So…is that depiction of China racist if Taiwanese do it? Or is it just jingoism. Either way, they’re at their best when it’s time to shit on the Chinese Communist party.

    1. DOOMco

      the wall squishing them was pretty funny.

    2. John Titor

      Speaking of Taiwanese Animated News, does Li Anne still work for them? Because goddamn girl.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Damn you, John Titor!

        Carol is best girl!

    3. Pomp

      God DAMN, the banana with the black wig is so tasteless. That was really great.

  22. Suthenboy

    Has anyone seen Groovus lately?

    *Reposting from last thread – re: Five year old at my house

    I thought I would follow up. It is 20 minutes since I posted that. My wife just informed me that the five year old had a bit of a mishap. She had to clean his underwear so she undressed him, gave him a quick bath and while she was on the back porch preparing the undies for the washing machine with the water hose he flushed his shorts down the toilet. In his words: “I was mean to them so I flushed them.”

    *facepalm*

    Off to the hardware store to buy a new wax ring. I will be back later.

    1. RBS

      The fun thing about kids that age is their logic.

      1. Hyperion

        I like the way they just say whatever the fuck pops into their head. Wife and I were in an elevator a while back with about 5-6 other people. One of them was a chatty little, probably 5 year old boy. Someone said something, I can’t even remember what it was, but the kid goes ‘That’s for gay people!’. One of the older ladies sort of gasped and said ‘Oh my’. I had to hold it for 2 floors to stop from busting out laughing. Ironically enough, when we got off on our floor, the only other person that got off was the shocked face lady. I looked at her and said ‘I love little kids, they just say whatever they want to’.

    1. Hyperion

      I’m telling you when the sexbot revolution arrives, I mean the real cyborg fembots arrive, the entire SJW left are going to shit their pants to death and we’ll finally be rid of them.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      I’m more of an Alexa fan.

      1. RBS

        She has trouble with some names.

        RBS: Alexa, play James McMurtry
        Alexa: Can’t find songs by James McMurderberry.

        1. Hyperion

          That’s funny whether it really happened or not.

        2. Mad Scientist

          Alexa, Choctow Bingo all up in this schnizzle!

          1. +1 Bois D’Arc fence post

          2. another Kevin

            Surplus ammo from some East Bloc nation that no longer needs em.

    3. westernsloper

      The message is clear: Instead of fighting back against abuse, each bot helps entrench sexist tropes through their passivity

      Me: Siri, how about you make me a sandwich.
      Siri: Go fuck yourself you piece of shit. Make it yourself.

      Do they mean like that?

      1. RBS

        Needs moar shitlord

  23. Lafe Long

    Amnesty International “Human Slaughterhouse” Report Dismissed as Fake News by Ex UK Ambassador to Syria

    On February 7, the organization issued an explosive report titled ‘Human Slaughterhouse, Mass Hangings and Extermination at Saydhaya prison, Syria,’ alleging that the Syrian authorities were responsible of killing 13,000 opponents of President Bashar Assad at the Saydnaya prison on the outskirts of Damascus.

    The former ambassador referred to the organization as “the spearheads of liberal interventionism”, citing Amnesty International’s “sensationalist” reports of the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait.

    “Amnesty said that they had verified that claims that Iraqi soldiers had stolen incubators in Kuwaiti hospitals and left babies on the floor to die. Turned out this was a total fabrication…they were gullible and they used it and it helped to justify the Iraqi war.” Ford said.

    “This is the new way of picking up the white man’s burden — you go around changing regimes that you accuse of human rights abuses.”

  24. Nephilium

    Alright Glib ones, I have a request that I figured someone here may be able to answer. The girlfriend and I will be going to Ireland this summer for about a week. We’ll be based out of Dublin, but traveling outside of that is good. Any recommendations as to places to go? Places to avoid? Things to do? The girlfriend prefers going on guided tours and seeing the historic buildings and such, I prefer spending time in the local haunts and steeping myself in the culture of the area I’m in.

    1. R C Dean

      Lemme ask my AGC. She’s a Dublin native.

    2. ArchieBunker

      I suggest you watch the simpsons episode where they go to ireland. It will answer all your questions

    3. Hyperion

      Aren’t you just supposed to wander the countryside and come upon random taverns where you get shitface drunk on warm beer and then stumble on in search of the next one? That’s my plan when I make it to the Emerald Isle.

      1. trshmnstr

        Is that what WI meant by gambol across the open plains? If so, we may have misunderstood him.

      2. Nephilium

        I have no issue with that plan, but I’ll need to really work on it to sell it to the girlfriend.

        1. Hyperion

          Yeah, I know, wininz. Always wanting to do non-drunken stuff that’s supposed to be fun. It’s the curse for men.

    4. Jon C

      The problem I found with most of the historic buildings during our tour, is that at some point they were destroyed by some invading army. So it was mostly look at this half destroyed castle that used to be really cool. Blarney castle was blah. Drive a while, look at standard crappy castle, pretend to kiss Blarney stone for picture. My wife still has lots of family over there, and it was a much better time in the small pubs. I can’t remember too many of the names though. My favorite part about that was having a long discussion with a older retired guy in a small pub about Ted Kennedy and how he hated the Kennedy because he thought he made “the troubles” last much longer than they should have. Being from Massachusetts I figured everyone there loved him, and was real happy the disliked him like me.

    5. Violent Sociopath

      Make sure you head west and spend some time in and around Killarney, and the Ring of Kerry. You also can’t go wrong heading down to County Wicklow and visiting Glendalough. Avoid the Blarney Stone — total tourist trap.

      In Dublin, the Guinness storehouse is disappointing, but the Jameson distillery is fantastic.

    6. Agent Cooper

      Just watch The Quiet Man. All will be made clear.

    7. Grummun

      Guinness and Jameson, both tourist traps but still kind of cool, and neither one is the active production facility anymore, but you get booze with the price of admission. St. Patrick’s Cathedral is okay, a little commercial for a church, but great stained glass and interesting to read the plaques on all the tombs. The circulating hop on/hop off, tour buses are not a bad deal for one day, they’ll carry you around to the all the popular places and if you’re lucky you get a bus driver with a good line of patter. The Czech restaurant in the Temple Bar district: pork roast and dumplings or GTFO. Walking along the LIffey after dark and looking across at the Four Courts and the Custom House is nice if the weather i fair. I did not take the Trinity College/Book of Kells tour, but the wife did, and she really liked it.

      We spent two and a half days in Dublin, then drove down to Kilkenny for a couple days. Note we did not actually drive in Dublin, that’s suicidal. Kilkenny has a couple decent churches, and there’s a botanical garden nearby (forget the name, sorry) with rhododendrons the size of a starter home. Also, once you’re out of the city, you can’t swing a dead cat by the tail without hitting some picturesque mossy stone ruin. Make sure you have plenty of photo storage capacity.

  25. ArchieBunker

    Any legal minds tell me how big a deal the lawyerin software is? When can i go throw food at mass amounts of homless begging lawyers?

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I can’t really tell what it’s going to do. Handling doc review? Most of that goes out to cheaper lawyers (or contract lawyers). This isn’t targeting the work that $1200 an hour NYC corporate lawyers do.

      1. RBS

        “Handling doc review? Most of that goes out to cheaper lawyers (or contract lawyers).”

        Bo Cara, Esq. hardest hit.

        1. trshmnstr

          *rousing applause*

        2. Hyperion

          Bo Cara, Esq. hardest hit.

          Crickey, worst.fucking.troll. ever.

          Oh wait, I forgot about Cytotoxic.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Bo was just incredibly tedious. Mary was worse.

          2. tarran

            I admit that Mary losing her shit every time Banjos got saucy really amused me. She hated it when other females got positive attention.

            If only Episiarch hadn’t shot her down when she tried to flirt with him….

          3. Hyperion

            What the fuck ever happened to Epi? Did he run off with Nicole?

  26. Lafe Long

    Trump Designates Agency “Hit Squads” To Cut Most Regulations

    But perhaps most chilling for public health and safety is the task force’s mandate to target “those regulations that rely in whole or part on data, information, or methods that are not publicly available or that are insufficiently transparent to meet the standard of reproducibility.”

    Here’s the problem, according to scientists and regulatory lawyers: many regulations, such as those reducing air pollution, are based on scientific studies measuring the health effects of dirty air on people, including children and the elderly. These studies rely on patient information that is confidential by law and cannot be disclosed. Other data that agencies use come from businesses and are proprietary information. Much of science, including our predictions about global warming, is based on studies that can’t be reproduced. You can’t reproduce studies measuring climate changes over hundreds of years.

    Some of the EPA’s most protective rules, such as those preventing air pollution, or the emissions of greenhouse gases causing global warming, are based on this type of data. These rules could be caught up in this agency-wide crusade against regulation.

    And…?
    That’s a feature, not a bug.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Looks like reproducibility is going to be introduced as a criterion for using a study to justify regulations and their attendant restrictions. Overall that’s a good thing, particularly for an agency like the EPA that’s become so highly politicized.

      1. Pomp

        Looks like reproducibility

        Teh horrors, reproduciblity in sciencey stuff???

    2. Hyperion

      Well, it’s a beautiful idea.

      How some people seem to be afraid of getting a heavy boot lifted off their face, I don’t know. Masochists or idiots?, maybe both.

    3. tarran

      Holy shit!

      This person has no clue what reproduciblity is!!!!!

      There are different types of reproducibility:
      1) You rerun the experiment, collect your own observations, and reperform the analysis, see if you get similar results.
      2) You take the other guy’s observations, reperform the analysis, see if you get the same result
      3) You take the other guy’s observations, perform your own analysis, see if you get consistent results.

      You can do 2 and 3 with anonymized data if the subjects were human, or you can ask the original people to consent to release their information to the new researcher.

      You can do 1 anytime! Just go through the ethics panels etc and start from scratch!

      As far as climate science goes… You can do all 3 no problem….

      Okay, the CRU can’t tell you their original data, because they overwrote the tapes that contain the metadata for which stations they used and which they didn’t in building their dataset.

      And, GISS refuses to share their original observations with people “who want to find something wrong with it” and don’t like to archive their data.

      And the NOAA seems to also have a reluctance toward archiving observations.

      But other than that… reproducibility is a doddle!

      1. Juice

        Okay, the CRU can’t tell you their original data, because they overwrote the tapes that contain the metadata for which stations they used and which they didn’t in building their dataset.

        And, GISS refuses to share their original observations with people “who want to find something wrong with it” and don’t like to archive their data.

        And the NOAA seems to also have a reluctance toward archiving observations.

        It’s this shit right here that should make ANYONE skeptical of ANY claims made by these organizations.

    4. Gadianton

      Much of science, including our predictions about global warming, is based on studies that can’t be reproduced. You can’t reproduce studies measuring climate changes over hundreds of years.

      Ummm…. Minimal science education here, so feel free to correct my ignorance, but these studies are based on collected data, correct? And the data they are based on is stored, correct? Why then, can we not feed the original data used in the original study into the same criteria? Shouldn’t that return the same results as in the original study?

      1. Gadianton

        Refresh before posting.

    5. Glitterstorm

      Again private industry has done more to curb GHG emissions than the EPA could ever hope to?

    6. Juice

      These studies rely on patient information that is confidential by law and cannot be disclosed.

      How convenient.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Some of the EPA’s most protective rules, such as those preventing air pollution, or the emissions of greenhouse gases causing global warming, are based on this type of data.

    This type of data = fake, right?

    1. tarran

      Here’s the problem they face.

      There’s a bunch of fake studies underlying some of the regs. Usually crap churned out by Greenpeace affiliates to justify crazy regulations (think Himalayas being glacier free by 2035).

      More often, though, the data is fine. It’s the analysis that they want to hide. For example, climate science is notorious for really garbage stats analyses. It’s also notorious for irreproducibility because when someone redoes the analysis claimed in a paper on the raw data, they often get quite different results than appear in the paper.

      Steve McIntyre has whiled away a significant number of the hours of his retirement figuring out exactly what step was skipped or added to the analysis to recreate how they got from A to the crazy B.

      1. westernsloper

        I read <The Hockey Stick Illusion. A lot of the science, and statistics was over my head, (mouth breathing knuckle dragger here) but the amount of bull shit Mcintyre had to go through to get data sets, methods, and so on from Micheal Mann was mind boggling. It confirmed in my head there is good reason to be skeptical of anything the “climate science” community produces.

        1. westernsloper

          tag fail: Hockey Stick Illusion

          1. LT_Fish

            Even Iowahawk put together a beautiful piece a few years back.

  28. The Fusionist

    “Is it poetic justice that bigots created marriage licensing and now want to undo it?”

    I don’t know…which marriage laws are you referring to, and who are the bigots who created them?

    1. The Fusionist

      Oh, licensing…OK, which bigots are you pinning that on?

      1. tarran

        Marriage licensing was originally intended to prevent miscegenation. i.e. white people marrying members of the wrong race and producing mongrel offspring.

        1. The Fusionist

          I’m not fan of marriage licensing but…do you have a cite?

          1. tarran

            OK, I dove down the rabbit hole and discovered the situation was more nuanced than I had thought:

            1) Originally, the ecclesiastical authorities in England demanded that bans be published three weeks prior to a marriage for it to be valid. This allowed people who knew something that would make the proposed marriage invalid to lodge an objection.

            2) In order to permit quickie marriages, the license was introduced. Ecclesiastical authorities would issue a license permitting people to get married without the bans. They would however make sure prior to the license being issued that there were no impediments to the marriage.

            3) In the colonial U.S, these licenses and officiating weddings were gradually taken over by the authorities because there weren’t enough Anglican ministers to marry people and issue the licenses. So first they allowed local officials to perform the role that was nominally reserved to the Church of England where a priest wasn’t available, but eventually the COE became secondary to the authorities.

            4) Then in the 1740’s the state governments began legislating racial restrictions in addition to the historical ones forbidding bigamy, incompetence and consanguity. At the time one could still get married publishing bans or via common law marriage (i.e. declaring you were married) without a license. The state would merely void your marriage if it violated the rules.

            5) Then during the Jim Crow era, as progressivism spread accross the land, the state declared war on common law marriage. And the license became mandatory. And the primary concern about common law marriages were eugenic ones – the wrong people were marrying each other.

            So licenses weren’t initiated for racist reasons, but to give people an avenue to speed up their getting hitched. The Church of England’s attempt to establish a monopoly on marriages by having the government prohibit and regulate marriage allowed the racists/eugenicists to subjugate marriage under governmental control. And licenses became mandatory as part of their diabolical plan.

          2. The Fusionist

            There was a lot of marriage litigation in the Middle Ages because, although there were penalties for failing to marry in church, if you were willing to risk the penalty you could still get married outside of church by agreeing to marry and sealing the agreement by having sex. The litigation part came because these marriage transactions were private, so there could be confusion, or people could just make stuff up. But if you had the agreement and followed it up by sex, the Church – and therefore the state, which at the time followed the Church’s lead – would recognize you as married.

            Thus the lack of a license didn’t void the marriage.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Then in the 1740’s the state governments began legislating racial restrictions

            Earlier than that in some cases. Virginia’s was passed in 1691.

  29. Lafe Long

    7 Russian Officials Murdered or Found Dead Since Election Day

    Russian diplomats seem to be an endangered species, as seven officials have been found dead under mysterious or unexplained circumstances just since Election Day, and — although any link remains as yet unprovable — the deaths certainly provoke a number of questions.

    I don’t know what the life expectancy of your average Russian diplomat is…

    1. Hyperion

      I know that Clinton’s could have nothing to do with it, so I won’t go there.

    2. Not an Economist

      I don’t see why that is mysterious. Lots of people accidentally shoot themselves 37 times with 4 different calibers.

  30. The Fusionist

    From the marriage article:

    “SB20 would reduce the state’s role in defining and regulating marriage, which has become a contentious issue and places a burden on government officials torn between the legal requirements of their jobs and their personal religious convictions.”

    Really? There are officials in Alabama who have religious disagreements with the state’s legal definition of marriage? That definition is laid out in Amendment 774 of the state constitution –

    “(b) Marriage is inherently a unique relationship between a man and a woman….A marriage contracted between individuals of the same sex is invalid in this state.

    “(c) Marriage is a sacred covenant, solemnized between a man and a woman, which, when the legal capacity and consent of both parties is present, establishes their relationship as husband and wife, and which is recognized by the state as a civil contract.”

    Or perhaps you mean that Amendment 774 is superseded by the brain-farts of the old farts on the U. S. Supreme Court? Because I don’t see anything in the U.S. Constitution declaring that “the brain farts of the Supreme Court shall be the supreme law of the land, anything in this Constitution to the contrary notwithstanding.”

    You can’t mean *that,* so I suppose you mean there are hippie clerks in Alabama whose religion tells them that marriage is a union of two or more individuals of either sex?

    Those hippie clerks should set aside their personal religious convictions and do their jobs as defined by law.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    But perhaps most chilling for public health and safety is the task force’s mandate to target “those regulations that rely in whole or part on data, information, or methods that are not publicly available or that are insufficiently transparent to meet the standard of reproducibility.”

    Jesus. This sounds like a kid who says, “You’re not going to open the door and look, are you? Don’t you trust me?” when his mother asks if he cleaned his room.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Pretty much the essence of progressive thought.

    2. The Fusionist

      Close, but I’m thinking more “it’s not Coke, you deluded assholes, it’s a healthy drink with no harmful effects if consumed in excess, so either drink it up or I’ll call you a racist.”

      1. Floridaman

        Don’t forget to call Pepsi and anyone who like it mysoginist , Nazis, and trans-phobic.

    3. Hyperion

      Scroll down to the McDonalds thing, that’s even better.

    4. Gilmore

      What i find hilarious about the pro-Bernie wing of the party’s gripe… namely, that the “mainstream” DNC, the ‘establishment’, is unable to win elections, and that they suck and are corporate and corrupt and blah blah…

      is all 100% true!

      But the problem is that they think being correct about that means that they’re ALSO correct that some *more proggy*, more leftist, more ‘grassroots’/less union-money and corporate-gladhanding strategy would be a recipe for national success.

      Which is fucking ridiculous. They’re both (currently) sure losers. If they had any brains they’d realize that they need to “repair” the mainstream, not discard/over-run it.

      1. Glitterstorm

        My friend was a Bernie Bro but then he got fired from his job as a manager at a sandwich change. Now he’s conservative after not being able to get welfare. Sad!

      2. Lafe Long

        I find it amusing that I’m seeing the same exact posts/links/memes from the far right and the far left.

        1. Gilmore

          I’m seeing the same exact posts/links/memes from the far right and the far left.

          exactly.

          its hilarious because the Left thinks its criticism of just the ‘failed democrats’, and the Right think its criticism of all of them. The proggy left, while dominant in places like “Twitter” has no idea how small it really is. I think Obama gave them the impression that they can get anyone elected, when in fact he was sort of an anomaly

          1. Viking1865

            I think Obama gave them the impression that they can get anyone elected, when in fact he was sort of an anomaly

            I’ve given up trying to really understand it, but for some reason Obama is still genuinely liked by around half the population.

          2. The Last American Hero

            90 percent of communication is tone and body language. 10 percent is actual content. It’s been shown in many studies. So a good-looking, mild mannered, guy with a pleasant sounding voice talks in a confident manner and people assume he can’t be so bad.

          3. Gilmore

            ^^ basically that.

            Moreso than that, i think Obama’s win in 2008 had little to do with his politics, and more to do with Bush-era-exhaustion. People were ready to shitcan the previous GOP generation. The 2012 win was very different, and was more of a genuine contest, but one lost mainly because Romney was an insufficient ‘protest’.

  32. Rufus the Monocled

    Has Van Morrison ever smiled?

  33. Floridaman

    Hello,
    I am a new member who lurked at the other site. First of all I would like to thank most of the members here for helping me learn more about the Libertarian movement, I will say I am a recovering conservative who had been trying to figure out what side I agreed with since no one seemed interested in cutting government.

    1. Pomp

      Greetings!

    2. Glitterstorm

      Can you promise to give us a Florida Man article every so often? Welcome!

      1. Floridaman

        I will try my best.

    3. DOOMco

      What’s up?
      be prepared for some good Florida Man jokes here as well.

      1. Floridaman

        That is fine, I chose that name on purpose.

        1. westernsloper

          You sporting a mullet and wearing a wife beater with mustard stains?

    4. Hyperion

      Welcome. I think all libertarians were in some sort of identity crisis at one time. I know I sure was. I remember when I couldn’t figure out how I could be pro-capitalism and in favor of legalizing drugs all at the same time. I thought I was the only one. Then the intertoobz arrived and I found there were more oddballs like me and they called themselves libertarians.

    5. RBS

      I will say I am a recovering conservative

      Don’t feel bad, I used to work for a Congressman.

      1. westernsloper

        I used to work for a Congressman.

        WTF dude? That is worse than being someone who drowned kittens for a living.

    6. John Titor

      Do we just get a new Florida Man every once and awhile? Is it some kind of title that is passed on once the last guy OD’s on meth?

      1. Hyperion

        It’s Florida, there are plenty of Florida men, we’ll never run out.

    7. Rufus the Monocled

      Yeh, yeh. Whatever. What’d you bring?

  34. Lafe Long

    Trump Surrogate Suggests Democrats Could Be Behind Bomb Threats Against Jews

    A top Trump surrogate — hedge funder Anthony Scaramucci, who fundraised for the Trump campaign, joined his transition team, and was in the running for a senior role in the White House — took to Twitter on Tuesday to imply that these threats could be coming from Democrats, rather than from a radical far-right wing that has been emboldened by Trump’s rhetoric and staff choices.

    Scaramucci’s tweets are only the latest sign that the Trump administration, those close to the president, and the wider Republican Party are fundamentally unwilling to either acknowledge or challenge the wave of far-right hate crimes in the United States that has in recent months targeted a wide set of religious and racial minority groups.

    Part of their strategy has been to deny any links between Trump’s rhetoric, far-right ideology, and the recent hate crimes.

    1. Glitterstorm

      What the hell do they mean by surrogate? Is he holding Trump-Putin’s love child in his belly?

  35. thrakkorzog

    Not enough derp in your life? You are in luck, tonight msnbc has you covered. Tonight’s Hardball with Chris Matthews will have Bill Maher, Kathy Griffin, Michael Moore, and Rob Reiner on before the SOTU address. It’s a regular Algonquin roundtable of derp.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I hate myself, but not that much.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        I also don’t hate myself enough to watch Trump’s address to Congress.

        I’ll renew something I said a few months ago: I pledge to vote for any Presidential candidate who promises to go back to the pre-Wilsonian practice of delivering the SOTU Address as a letter to Congress.

        1. The Fusionist

          Really, so long as he fulfills the constitutional mandate of giving information on the State of the Union, and recommending such measures as he thinks are good ideas, he can send it to Congress via Instant Message.

          1. The Fusionist

            “Hi Congress, attached please find some economic statistics for the past year, also could you repeal Obamacare thanks bye.”

          2. Pat

            Country is in the shitter. Donothing congress + Judiciary’s fault. SAD! #MAGA

          3. The Fusionist

            Technically, he has to provide “information.”

          4. Pat

            The difference between opinion and information is mostly dependent on what the meaning of is is.

    2. Lafe Long

      TBH, I’ve really enjoyed some of the work of Maher, Griffin, and Reiner – until they all went batshit insane.

      Of course, Moore has always been insufferable.

  36. Pat

    Party Of Science: Democrat Congressional Candidate Brianna Wu Doesn’t Know How Gravity Works

    U.S. House candidate Brianna Wu, a Massachusetts Democrat, is worried that people will drop rocks from the moon that will hit the earth and kill people.

    Wu, who gained notoriety after getting involved in the GamerGate controversy of 2014 and is now challenging sitting Rep. Stephen Lynch, tweeted that she isn’t happy about SpaceX’s plan to ferry private citizens to the moon by 2018, for reasons that will make your head explode.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I posted that this morning in the links. It’s comedy gold.

      1. Pat

        I figured it was just a clickbait headline and it couldn’t really be that bad.

    2. Those rocks might land on Guam and flip it over.

    3. thrakkorzog

      She really missed Heinlein’s point in that novel.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Like she’s read the book. She’s probably seen the movie though.

        Would you like to know more?

        1. thrakkorzog

          I was thinking more of The Moon is Harsh Mistress, which actually does involve people on the moon using mass drivers to gain independence from Earth.

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            I knew that but for some reason my mind went instantly to Starship Troopers so I could make the joke.

    4. The Fusionist

      Well, this helps race relations by rebutting stereotypes about Asians really knowing a lot about science.

        1. The Fusionist

          Ah, stereotype remains intact.

          1. The Fusionist

            (To be fair, she didn’t seem to be the kind of person to take her husband’s name, if she married at all)

          2. Agent Cooper

            That’s ah so, the stereotype remains intact.

      1. Zero Sum Game

        Brianna Wu isn’t Asian. Trans female, formerly John Flynt, a white boy.

        1. The Fusionist

          Tell me you’re joking.

          1. Zero Sum Game

            Nope, and gets Twitter to ban anyone who brings it up in her presence.

    5. John Titor

      Ok, to be fair, I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt (and I probably shouldn’t) by saying she was speaking colloquially about the idea of using mass drivers to propel rocks out of moon orbit and into a decay orbit around the earth, i.e. ‘drop rocks from the moon’.

      Even if I give her all that, she’s still stupid, because why on earth would SpaceX want to do that? Also, for better or for worse, that garbage Outer Space Treaty still exists and bans orbital and lunar military installations (though apparently a bunch of countries haven’t signed it. Look out world, Sudan’s going to start fucking shit up with their orbital death laser soon).

      1. Hyperion

        Dude, it’s like you don’t even got some edumencation, you don’t even science. Did you watch that film with the blue people? I don’t even remember the name, but I cried and cried. The poor peaceful blue people were living around the great tree, and then a CORPORASHUN came from earth and guess what the first thing they did was? They blew up the tree with missiles for fund and then they rape mined the planet!

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Sure you laugh now but wait until Star Destroyers use their tractor beams to move asteroids into a decaying orbit to destroy a planetary civilization. You won’t be laughing then.

        1. Hyperion

          Yeah, but there’s good news. If we can only keep government this big, we’ll never again even get out of low earth orbit, let alone Star Destroyers.

      3. Zero Sum Game

        Nah, Wu tweeted that stupid shit and then promptly deleted it after it was pointed out that she’s a goddamned idiot. Wu is on levels of stupid/crazy you really don’t want to wrangle with. Ultra SJW, trans female, writer of a shitty video game for girls that was itself a portrayal of a lot of female stereotypes that piss women off in general (feminist or otherwise), and prolific annoying Twitter user who probably has 95% of the platform blocked for calling her on all the dumbshit stuff she’s said. Her run for Congress is the latest in a long line of actions that seem to be increasingly shrill calls for attention given all the other failed ambitions.

    6. grrizzly

      Woohoo! If she wins, she’ll be my representative.

      1. Hyperion

        Dude, you won’t have shit on me. My rep is Elijah E. Cummings. I won’t say he’s retarded, but…

    7. Technically, don’t even physicists not know how gravity works? 😉

  37. Glitterstorm

    DiCaprio is an asshole

    Fuck off slaver. God I’m so sick of these “virtuous” celebrities. How is that remotely environmentally friendly? No one in town could possibly do it?

    1. Pat

      I generally avoid pointing out minor typos lest I be hoist on my own petard when it inevitably happens to me, but my childlike mind drew a vivid picture of an inflatable car the memory of which will amuse me into my old age.

  38. waffles

    I’m doing work this week in NE Indiana. My neighbors warned me before I left “that’s where Pence comes from”. I think the people are pretty nice here, even the Amish are cool. What am I missing? When I travel in this country I find most people are gosh darn friendly and helpful. I have no idea why Californians imagine that the heartland is full of evil, Maybe they saw it on TV or read it on the internet.

    1. The Fusionist

      “I hate people who disagree with me. Therefore, people who disagree with me must hate me right back. How can they be so hateful!?”

    2. Hyperion

      How close to Ft. Wayne are you?

      1. waffles

        I am in Fort Wayne until early Saturday

        1. Hyperion

          You poor soul. Is it cold there?

  39. Juvenile Bluster

    Gustavito the Hippopotamus beaten to death in El Salvador zoo

    How do you beat a hippopotamus to death, anyways?

    1. Glitterstorm

      Jesus that’s so many murders.

    2. Hyperion

      Dicks out for Gustavito.

      1. Agent Cooper

        No one realizes it was actually Clicks Out for Harambe, but the kerning was bad.

        Thus, sausage party for a dead ape.

    3. BakedPenguin

      The same way you’d do it to a human. A better question is why in hell would you? Sick pieces of shit. Just like the guys who did this.

  40. Viking1865

    1977 Linda Ronstadt can absolutely get it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s4_teISos0

    1. Hyperion

      There were some cuties from back in those days. I was sort of in lust with her, but then I saw Dorothy Hamil and it was over.

  41. Agent Cooper

    Does anyone else experience an issue with YouTube not showing video (audio only) when clicking links from here to there? I can hear Linda Ronstadt, but I cannot see her. I have to disable Tampermonkey to get YouTube to show videos properly.

    1. Gilmore

      Its your adblock. Vevo videos (and some other channels, like Jay Leno’s garage) don’t play nice with adblockers. Just disable and it will run ok (and often doesn’t even have ads)