Thursday Afternoon Links

Good afternoon. My name is Swiss Servator, and I will be taking care of your links this afternoon.

Raclette for all, yes?
Payment is kindly requested in CHF

Today’s specials are;

Lawfare, biting social media in the arse,

Iron Law in action,

Statements made on a carrier (personally, I would avoid this one – last time the chef ran this dish out…meh)

Prog cannibalism,

I got nuthin’ for this one

*begin voodoo chant*
Now go do that libertarian voodoo that you do so well!

Comments

379 responses to “Thursday Afternoon Links”

  1. Juvenile Bluster

    That pic reminds me that Blazing Saddles is back on Netflix as of March 1.

    I plan to watch it several dozen times more.

    1. Private Chipperbot

      So you’re saying, “The sheriff is near?”

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee, it’s my privilege to present a laurel and hearty handshake to our new…

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          I would have paid money to have Obama say at his first inauguration. “Excuse me while I whip this out.”

    2. westernsloper

      I did not know that. Thanks for the heads up.

    3. UnCivilServant

      I’d rather buy a permanant copy than pay NetFlix any money.

      1. Por que no los dos?

        1. UnCivilServant

          I have a disagreement with what they’ve chosen to greenlight as original series’

          I don’t want to finance those shows.

          1. Would you mind if I asked which shows?

            Mr. Riven and I have really enjoyed Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage, personally.

      2. Rhywun

        I’d rather buy a permanant copy than pay NetFlix any money.

        ^ This, and this:

        I’d rather buy a permanant copy than pay NetFlix any subscription service any money.

        1. Kool

          Mrs. Kool would go insane without Netflix, Hulu and Prime. We cut our cord a few years ago to internet only and she is a binge binger.

          I’m still monetarily ahead than if I still had “cable.”

          Hmm.. binge binger makes it look like she’s a pothead. You all know what I meant.

          1. dbleagle

            Netflix series “The Ranch” is pretty good. Debra Winger and Sam Elliot are outstanding. Ashton Kutcher makes me cringe in most his scenes but the guy playing his brother is solid. It is enjoyable to see a series that is fond of small town life and the unseen “glamour” of being a rancher.

    4. Cliche Bandit

      I had a great uncle who wrote 5 plays, one was Tom Horn (which he got credit for) and one was Blazing Saddles. He had them all stolen but the only one that ever became famous besides Tom Horn was Blazing Saddles. Mel Brooks was NOT the one who stole it (supposedly) and to be quite honest it was better after he got a hold of it but my great uncle got a tiny settlement and a large legal bill for a suit no one cared about.

      /my only real connection to anything sort of famous.

  2. bacon-magic

    Payment is kindly requested in CHF

    Can I pay in Nazi gold?

    1. Um…maybe.

      *glances rapidly left and right*

      1. bacon-magic

        If you want I’ll stamp “Suisse” on it.

          1. Long time ago I went skiing in Switzerland, got really drunk one night and the next day my friends informed me that my sly witty remarks about our hosts being Nazi gold hoarders, were neither sly nor all that witty. To their credit or host were very good-natured about it.

          2. Trials and Trippelations

            I do not know if the time I got black out drunk because I was drinking with Slovaks and was yelling the equivalent of cunt at 1 or 2AM in front of the pastor’s apartment door was better or worse than your story.
            I was serving as a missionary/teacher in another town, but visiting an American in my program. The American had me apologize the next day. The pastor was not pleased.

    2. Sour Kraut

      True story: my friend’s Jewish grandma wouldn’t buy a Saab because they were made by “those Swedes who took all our gold”.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        My mother, who is 61 years old, utterly refuses to buy anything German. She’s shopping for a car right now, is looking at the Japanese luxury cars but won’t consider BMW or Mercedes.

        (Note: Fine by me. She doesn’t need the extra expense that comes with those cars. My reasoning for her not looking BMW/Mercedes is far different from hers is all)

        1. UnCivilServant

          I accidentally bought something made in detroit…

          I’d been trying for ‘Made in Mexico’

        2. Nephilium

          My girlfriend’s mom referred to my Mini Cooper (owned by BMW now) as a Nazi car… while driving a Ford.

          1. Tundra

            Are you gonna tell her?

          2. tarran

            Sometimes it’s better to let the girlfriend/wife’s mother continue with her strongly held delusions than to try to debunk them. Sometimes the price in romantic strife is greater than the satisfaction of being right. 😉

          3. Tundra

            Fair point, but what a great opportunity to nuke a relationship!

          4. Nephilium

            I decided it was in my best interest not to bring it up.

          5. Agent Cooper

            Ford was an anti-semite fo sho, but did he kill 6-ish million of them?

          6. CZmacure

            I think he was getting at “Ford is owned by Fiat.”

          7. CZmacure

            Huh, but they aren’t. Whoops.

          8. Tundra

            More than an anti semite. There was a lot of business done with the Nazis, including a factory there, I believe.

            Is it a reason to not buy a Ford?

            Fuck no, but mom probably doesn’t know ol’ Henry’s history.

      2. Chipwooder

        My grandfather, now 93, would never buy anything Japanese because of Pearl Harbor. Not cars, TVs, stereos, nada.

        1. My Dad was a long time angry at Japan…once in the 1980s he was grumbling about us paying to defend them while buying all their stuff…and I asked what happened last time they had lots of ships and planes and guns? [He was sailing on the USS Bedoing Straits (CVE) and hoping to not get kamikazed ]

          1. R C Dean

            “Geez, Dad. Didn’t you deliver a whole lot of military gear to the Japs back in the day?”

        2. CZmacure

          But who did he go to when his supplies of tentacru porn was low? How can a man live that way?

      3. My ex-husband used to refer to ramen noodles as “chinky-noodles” because that’s what his suuuuper racist mom called them while he was growing up.

        He did not realize it was a racial slur until he’d said it to me a few times and I pointed it out–even though I did find it hilarious.

        1. Trigger Hippie

          “Porch Monkey for life!!!….What? I’m taking it back.”

      4. John Titor

        My immigrant grandparents had an intense dislike for Germans for the entirety of their lives. Five years under the Nazis will do that to you.

  3. Grumbletarian

    I really don’t care who Beau Biden’s former belle is banging.

    1. *avidly applauds alliteration aptitude*

      1. Bobarian LMD

        I couldn’t get the link to open on that one, but it sounds like a good place for a restored Camaro and some mullets.

        1. It is a bit trailer-parkish.

    2. Didn’t Marty Brodeur sleep with his sister-in-law?

      1. Chipwooder

        Sleep with her? He married her after he divorced the other sister.

    3. Brett L

      really don’t care who Beau Biden’s former belle is banging balling.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Sounds as if this belle is a bimbo, bygosh.

      1. Agent Cooper

        Not bothered by who Beau Biden’s bygone belle be ballin’, bub.

        1. JD

          I’m not your bub, bro.

    4. The Last American Hero

      Aren’t they just following Sharia? It’s all the rage these days.

      1. Tonio

        I believe there’s also a biblical (OT) instruction to take your brother’s widow to wife.

        1. Nephilium

          If I remember my bible correctly, if your brother dies without giving having child, then you must sire a child on his widow, which will be your brother’s child.

          This was Onan’s actual sin, he refused to give his dead brother’s widow a child, and pulled out instead.

  4. westernsloper

    Payment is kindly requested in CHF

    Chicken Fried? It is my experience anything can be chicken fried.

    1. *narrows gaze*

    2. Sour Kraut

      Even pizza! /Glaswegian

      1. Mike Schmidt

        mmm…chicken fried deep dish pizza. The best chicken fried pizza! Classy!

        1. I…I…think I had a small cardiac event just reading that.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Just pop a nitro in the twinkie before dropping it into the fryer.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            these euphemisms….

          3. Gustave Lytton

            Seek immediate medical attention if your euphemisms last more than four hours! Or pissing and shitting like Trigger Hippie down thread.

  5. bacon-magic

    (personally, I would avoid this one – last time the chef ran this dish out…meh)

    *narrows meh*

    1. Mad Scientist

      Bacon magic, just for you.
      https://youtu.be/Tfmdv68nOck

      1. bacon-magic

        Is this a threat?

  6. Juvenile Bluster

    How in the hell did Snapchat, which has very little way of making money, that lost $515 million last year, that diluted themselves by 37 million shares pre-IPO, that nobody over the age of 25 uses, not only end up oversubscribed on its $17.00 pricing but ended up at around $24.50 today? Has the stock market gone insane?

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Starts looking into Long Term Puts.

        1. ::Continues to not study for the 7::

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            You’re studying for the Series 7?

            My condolences.

          2. Much appreciated. I’m about halfway through, so I only halfway feel like dying.

          3. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            How bad is it in comparison to studying for the patent bar?

          4. Gilmore

            I would say something about the bullet-points (or lack thereof) but unfortunately my mom called and asked me to clean up after the football team.

          5. Gilmore

            @()#*()@#*$ threading.

          6. bacon-magic

            Should’ve used a bullet-point…just like your mom should’ve used just the tip. (I can’t do anymore…please, my face hurts from laugh tension)

        2. I must admit, I am getting tempted to sell a bit of what I do have in stocks.

          1. Here‘s some advice for you.

        3. BakedPenguin

          Careful. “The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent.”

          1. Dr. Fronkensteen

            True. Even with long term puts you still don’t know when a bull market will reverse. Only that at some point it will.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        I’m not sure what you mean by ‘gone’, though? The stock-market has ‘been’ insane for years.

    1. bacon-magic

      A lot of famous people on instagram are pushing snapchat handles. I assume it’s a marketing campaign.

      1. Rhywun

        A lot of famous people on instagram are pushing snapchat handles.

        I recognize most of those words but I don’t understand the sentence.

        1. bacon-magic

          Sorry, I don’t type English.

    2. Sour Kraut

      Quiet or you’ll spook the markets.

    3. BakedPenguin

      Well, you could invest in bonds, and get a 2% return…

      1. Gross. Don’t you have to be an AARP member to invest in bonds?

        1. * shakes cane at Riven, on behalf of most of Switzerland*

        2. DOOMco

          someone came in the lockshop and asked if we had an aarp discount. For $5 bucks in keys.

          1. “Sure. For you, old timer, only $4.99!”

        3. BakedPenguin

          Young lady, in my day we didn’t talk to our elders like that. Now wait in line while I pay for these two pieces of fruit with a check.

          1. DOOMco

            God I hate that.

          2. Let me guess, you also have a coupon?

          3. You’re not that much older than me, therefore I listen to you not that much.

          4. Suthenboy

            For God’s sake dont take out your checkbook or try to find your pen until after the clerk has rung the fruit up.

          5. Brett L

            What’s her hurry? Her husband is stuck waiting in heaven for as long as it takes.

          6. +1 rummaging through change purse for $.13

          7. This is why they have self-checkout now.

          8. That does not help much.

            *Requires Assistance Light Blinking*

            “I need this 30 pack of Modelo approved!”

          9. Trials and Trippelations

            My wife always manages to choose the line with the old person that writes checks at Wal-Mart

      2. DOOMco

        *checks inflation*
        meh

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Animal spirits bitches, they is invigorated.

  7. DOOMco

    From the pepsi article.

    costs went up 100%, and people are shocked that consumption is down 50%?

    “they didn’t deserve those jobs, bottling such a horrible product!”-someone, I’m sure.

    1. *nods in agreement*

      /Coke drinker

      1. DOOMco

        i prefer coke almost always. I have a soft spot for the cherry pepsi.

        1. While bar-tending, I would slug down lots of Diet Pepsi…I think I would rather die of dehydration than touch a Diet Pepsi ever again.

          1. Suthenboy

            If you are thirsty and drink a carbonated drink you will die of dehydration.

            *I tested this out once on a shooting trip in the desert near Palm Springs. The more you drink the thirstier you get. We ended up using the cokes for targets and put the ice bags out in the sun to melt the ice.

          2. Mad Scientist

            That’s a myth. You gain hydration from soda.

          3. Old Man With Candy

            It’s got electrolytes!

        2. Mike Schmidt

          By “soft spot” do you mean the spot on your tongue where your taste buds obviously don’t work properly?

          1. DOOMco

            I suppose. I think it’s because it was very rare to find in my hometown general store.

            The only place to buy anything in a half hour drive.

      2. Zombie Joan Crawford would like a word with you.

    2. westernsloper

      I tried to pull a quote from the article, but the commies at Business Insider want me to turn off my ad blocker. Un-American that is.

      1. Rhywun

        Readability (which removes all the crap around an article) can sometimes circumvent that nonsense, and in this case it worked.

    3. The Other Kevin

      Also from the article: Democrats think the evil corporashuns are inflating the prices on purpose to discourage other areas from adopting similar taxes. Business, how does it work?

      Conveniently forgotten is that one of the states purposes of these taxes is to discourage consumption. The tax is working exactly at planned, but the bad consequences are someone else’s fault.

      1. DOOMco

        Yea, Pepsi exec’s are fine. But now you have more unemployed people in your area. Good job.

      2. And of course, they don’t want businesses to break out the taxes in the ultimate final price.

      3. Bobarian LMD

        Democrats think…

        Ha!

  8. Sour Kraut

    I remember when priceline was caught claiming 100% of its income from selling tickets was revenue (as opposed to the 1% or so commission they were actually getting), and its stock price barely dropped. That ended well.

  9. Jefe Hayek

    I’m ready for the damn thiccness. HM better bring the heat

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Going to be hard to top last week.

      1. Jefe Hayek

        I am under no allusions that last week can be topped. I’m not even one of the weirdos who obsesses over East Asian women, but…but goddamn.

        1. Jefe Hayek

          *illusions ffs

    2. Oh… just wait. She thicc.

      1. Sour Kraut

        What are you, a member of the cabal of thicc insiders? Are there already cabals around here?

        1. bacon-magic

          *gives secret thicc twerk sign*

          1. *makes a similar motion but cruder*

      2. Jefe Hayek

        Frankly, the first two weeks have been polar opposite. First week appeared to be a plastic surgery cobble job and last week was about as well proportioned thicc chick with a pretty face as you can get.

        What I’m saying is, this is make or break for HM. I’m preparing to usurp his position should he choose poorly

        1. Thicc Challenge!

          1. Jefe Hayek

            I don’t think HM is ready for this jelly. JMO, but still

          2. You know, if this gets played out across my laptop screen…I will just have to manage to look at all of it.

            *adopts martyr’s pose*

          3. Bobarian LMD

            THAT. IS. NOT. WHERE. MARTYRS. PUT. THEIR. HANDS.

        2. bacon-magic

          Hater’s Ball II

  10. Booze thread:

    Last night I bought a bottle of Plymouth Gin, as favored by Travis McGee. It’s good, but not as good as Liberator or Hendrick’s. Plymouth seems to have a ever so slight “rubbing alcohol” aftertaste.

    Budget gin? At $20 a bottle, Bombay Dry Gin (with the red cap) makes a wonderful G&T – with a touch of lime.

    A nearby liquor store has over thirty brands of gin so I’ll be trying them out as the days weeks go by.

    1. DOOMco

      Bombay is my go-to. I like it with a bit of san pellegrino blood orange.

      1. MikeT86

        Not a fan of bombay, just does nothing for me.

        1. DOOMco

          I haven’t tried a lot of gin. I would say that the pellegrino as a mix makes a great drink.

          1. MikeT86

            I’m sure, I posted my suggestions below. Some of it comes down to what you like too, or what application you’re looking for.

            If I’m mixing a drink for a lot of people I’ll use new amsterdam it’s not very good or flavorful, but it’s decent and dirt cheap.

            For Martinis I want a smoother and more balanced Gin

            For G&T I want more juniper forward

            For just over ice, or with seltzer I prefer something more citrus/botanical heavy.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        Yup. Bombay is what I drink in the summer.

        So about 3 weeks per year here in Minnesoda

    2. Drake

      I shall be tuning in. Was wondering if I ought to venture beyond my reliable Bombay Sapphire.

      1. I like the Dry over the Sapphire – at least in G&T world. It has a real “snap” that’s refreshing. I’m not sure how it would work in more exotic drinks.

    3. Hendrick’s is my go to if I’m not mixing–like a nice martini…

      This is my basic gin for mixing.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Hendrick’s and St. Germaine with some lime juice and you have yourself a perfect margarita that doesn’t taste like syrup.

        1. Gin…in a margarita??? I mean, I’ll try it since I’m not much for tequila…but that seems odd.

    4. Chipwooder

      Bombay does me just fine. G&T is by far my favorite drink. Always refreshing.

    5. SugarFree

      I am quite a fan of Hayman’s Old Tom Gin. Makes a delightful Gin and Lemon, or a no vermouth “Martini.”

      1. I saw a bottle of that – will try that next.

    6. Jefe Hayek

      Boodles can be had for ~$20 at my local liquor barn. My go-to

    7. And Liberator Gin, made by Valentine, is still my top G&T making gin. It’s so good it doesn’t need a lime or cucumber.

      It’s fairly priced too – just a bit cheaper than Hendrick’s (at least here in Michigan).

    8. CampingInYourPark

      Kind of like Plymouth myself. Something about it makes it taste like a light spiced rum

      1. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

        The two and a half centuries of Royal Navy tradition perhaps?

    9. Brett L

      In honor of Texas Independence Day, the Mexican Martini:

      3 ounces añejo tequila
      1 1/2 ounces Cointreau
      1 1/2 ounces fresh lime juice
      1/2 ounce green-olive brine from the jar
      a splash of fresh orange juice
      lime wedges and olives

      If you have pickled jalapenos, you can sub that brine for olive brine for a nice little kick.

      1. westernsloper

        Consider that saved. Thanks

    10. I just want to say, despite what was posted in the the links, we end up discussing gin and thicc…. I AM SO PROUD OF EVERYONE! *tear of joy trickles down cheek*

    11. MikeT86

      Some suggestions:
      Cheap and plentiful while being decent:
      -Hofland Gin (I like it with ice and a squeeze of lime)
      Regional:
      -Smuggler’s Notch Dry Hopped (G&T)
      -Smuggler’s Notch Dry Gin (Martini)
      -Berkshire Mountain Distillery Greylock Gin (Martini)
      Non Regional:
      -Botanist (Ice)
      -Uncle Vals (it’s aight, over priced tbh)

      1. DOOMco

        copied this for future use. Thanks Mike.

        1. MikeT86

          Joys of coming to age during a what seems to be rebirth in spirits and liquor (not to mention craft beer) is that I’ve had the combination of “adventure seeking youth” with “lots of options”.

          I remember back when I turned 21 there not being too many options for gin at the local store.
          Bombay, Tanqueray, Beef Eater, and something in a plastic bottle. Being a G&T guy I went with the Tanqueray since it holds up to tonic better in my opinion. It was also what my dad drank which made things more efficient.

          I currently have more options than that just on my liquor cabinet at home. I’ve got at least 3 gins plus one I tried making on my own (over infused things because I forgot to strain it before work then had the day that wouldn’t end so instead of 12 hours it infused for 29). Not to mention my unholy assortment of whiskeys.

      2. JD

        I highly recommend The Botanist.

    12. mr simple

      Its been a while since I regularly bought gin, probably since I used to black out on the stuff in college a couple times a week. I like Tanqueray back then, with the G&T being my favorite drink. Hendricks is also good. I know it’s a teensy choice because all of my friends have it at their houses. I’ve made a few drinks with it and it’s just as refreshing as ever.

      I mostly drink whisky these days, and mostly bourbon at that.

    13. Nephilium

      My everyday gin is Tanqueray 10, my favorite was the Tanqueray Malacca, which was unfortunately discontinued. It was brought back once a couple years back, but I wasn’t able to get a bottle.

      My complaint with some of the more modern gins is them going with anise flavoring, which I am not a fan of. I’ve got two bottles on my shelf that have that as the predominant flavor, and keep working on recipes to get through them.

    14. Pope Jimbo

      You bought booze? SUCKER!

      So Tundra won’t be around for a bit, I guess.

      1. Tundra

        Holiness, if I stole booze it would be a whole truck. I’d be driving and you’d be running interference as we race to the Iowa border.

        Smokey and the Pontiff!

        1. Pope Jimbo

          That is why you need me. Fuck Iowa. We need to go N. Dakota. Then you could watch the Sioux play your hockey in a real league (as opposed to the travesty of Big 10 Hockey).

          1. Tundra

            I don’t want to talk about the B10.

            Awful, stupid and ridiculous.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        I’m sort of the fence on this one. Mostly because Haskell’s has been a protectionist tool that tried to keep competition out in the past.

        Maybe the guy was stealing the beer for his kids who were real thirsty back home? That would be ok right?

        1. Tundra

          Haskell’s is gonna have to up their game. I hear that Hyvee is including a 12,000 sq. ft. liquor store at their new place in the Grove.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            The only quibble I have with Total Wine is that the parking sucks there. Fuck it is bad. I usually have to buy more booze than I intended to cope with the rage at all the soccer moms being outwitted by the Total Wines parking lot.

            On the plus side, At least we aren’t Edina.

          2. NOT a Naked Intruder

            “When the city of Edina blames Total Wine & More for falling profits at its municipal liquor stores, the city is really blaming Edina residents and other consumers who are not spending enough money at its government-owned stores to meet the city’s profit projections,” Total Wine Vice President of Public Affairs Ed Cooper emailed.

            Holy shit-someone buy Ed Cooper a drink, stat! Or, get him a hooker, or whatevs.

  11. Grumbletarian

    Rand Paul protests outside room where House Republicans are hammering out Obamacare replacement

    I like that Paul seems to be holding the GOP’s feet to the fire, wanting a full repeal of the ACA instead of some mealy-mouthed mess in which the individual mandate goes away but somehow insurers will still have to provide coverage for everyone no matter how sick and expensive they are to cover.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        David Weigel is a national political correspondent covering the 2016 election and ideological movements.

        Wait, what kind of movements? Something to do with eating sugarfree gummy bears?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Sic ’em Rand! Don’t let this be some mealy-mouthed, half-assed “solution” that just doesn’t solve anything.

      The comments on that article are chocked full of the derp.

      1. mr simple

        Don’t you know that Obama care is the only thing keeping half of the country alive and of you want to get rid of it it’s because you want to steal all of their money?

        I should Dad fed known better than to wade into that mess, but I didn’t realize where I was.

  12. Drake

    So how is it that people are freaking out about a U.S. Senator meeting with the Russian Ambassador (part of both their job descriptions) – but nobody talks about how the Clintons met with lots of Russians – and accepted something like $32 million in bribes speaking fees and charitable donations from them in return for allowing them to acquire a large percentage of American uranium production?

    The crazy right-wing site called the NY Times had a big piece on it everyone tried to ignore.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/24/us/cash-flowed-to-clinton-foundation-as-russians-pressed-for-control-of-uranium-company.html?_r=0

    1. bacon-magic

      They see nothing! (love your avatar)

  13. grrizzly

    Why does the anti-Trump establishment insist on being utterly retarded? Sessions met with the Russian ambassador and now he should resign! Is it really important to pick the least objectionable thing about Trump and his administration and pounce on it?

    1. You don’t understand…they contaminate the air around them, everything about them is foul and evil…don’t you believe in science?

    2. one true athena

      Dead horses need to be beaten, or people might realize it was a dead horse all along

    3. John Titor

      They’re still full paranoid on the whole ‘Russians are Machiavellian masterminds who hacked the election to beat Clinton’ narrative. I have no doubt that some partisans believe 100% that this is absolute proof of the Trump campaign and Russia working together.

    4. wdalasio

      Is it really important to pick the least objectionable thing about Trump and his administration and pounce on it?

      I’ve found myself in that position since Trump took office. I really want to oppose the guy. But, I’m not willing to be a retard to do it. And if you’re not willing to be a retard, they aren’t interested.

  14. Private Chipperbot

    My son just came home from school and said he had his baggie of kale chips taken away at lunch. Teacher thought it was dope. In fairness, they somehow got mostly crushed, but c’mon. My wife already said she’s packing him a huge bag of them again for tomorrow.

    1. DOOMco

      “The teacher was later found with lungs half filled with charred kale bits. Authorities are not sure of the reason they were in the teacher’s lungs.”

    2. bacon-magic

      Kale chips? I thought that was just a meme.

    3. Banjos

      Kale chips? Sounds like the teacher was doing a favor for your kid.

      1. You read my mind. What kind* of kid would eat kale chips, anyway?

        *the communist kind

        1. Private Chipperbot

          They’re supposed to be healthy, but you have to add so much salt to make them edible, I’m not entirely sure they end up being any good for you.

          1. Well, I think you need a certain amount of salt, right? I know the WHO says something like 2000mg max, but IIRC, studies have come out since then saying that’s great for someone who has high blood pressure…not so great for a healthy individual.

          2. Rhywun

            Yes, it turns out the last four decades of propaganda against salt were bullshit. Who knew?

      2. Private Chipperbot

        He eats everything, and is growing like crazy. 13 years and 6′ tall with no slow down in sight. We’re trying to push him to protein and fats, and cutting down on some carbs (like no more three bowls of cereal after dinner). So instead of crap snacks he gets kale… ;D

        1. DOOMco

          I tried a protein heavier diet at 14. I grew another 7 inches.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            That’s a helluva penis enhancement!

          2. Trigger Hippie

            This one weird trick-

        2. Sounds like maybe he needs the carbs if he’s still growing. Not to say that protein and fat aren’t important, too–they’re definitely essential. But carbs are a nice, cheap energy source for a growing boy.

          1. Private Chipperbot

            He gets them, we’re just trying to keep it to a reasonable amount; like not a box of cereal at once. And he’ll eat about anything including fish, so we’re lucky there. My wife does pre-made portions of muscle chili, and we have meat and chicken always around to make slop bowls with veggies. He’s coming around on protein smoothies. It’s just tough at night after sports, which is when he wants the cereal.

          2. Viking1865

            He like hardboiled eggs?

        3. one true athena

          Damn, I thought my 13 year old was a bamboo tree at 5’8″! Mine likes seaweed snacks, and they look less like pot if they get smushed. 🙂

    4. westernsloper

      At least she didn’t have him cuffed and stuffed.

  15. Fire Shikha

    “Prog cannibalism”

    I’m not sure this #Resist is going to work so well in states where Democratic senators are up for election in 2018. I have a feeling that Trump is going to preside over a Republican majority in Congress for his entire term.

    1. The Last American Hero

      Entire term? At the rate Team Blue is imploding, it’s looking more like an entire Reign.

      Fortunately for us, his successor is easy on the eyes.

      1. John Titor

        That’s God Empress Ivanka to you peasant, and all shall bow to her and despair!

  16. Trigger Hippie

    OT: Anyone have a in-home food poisoning remedy? I’ve been puking and shitting water all day, Pepto and 7up isn’t cutting it and leaving the house simply isn’t an option…getting a little dehydrated here.

    1. Poison Control? Or is that too governmental?

      Stay safe…

      1. Trigger Hippie

        It had to have been those roundcut halal steaks in the ‘manager’s special’ isle of the local grocery store. I should have known better.

    2. SugarFree

      You need Loperamide and Pedialyte. Are there any pharmacies that deliver near you?

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Not within shitting-my-pants driving distance.

      2. Trigger Hippie

        Ah, deliver. Nope.

        Sorry. The mush between my ears is even softer than usual today.

    3. DOOMco

      Bread, water, and pot.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Two out of three will have to do. At least for a few more hours. My ‘guy’ is swinging by to do his best to help me with my appetite.

        1. DOOMco

          best of luck man.

        2. The Last American Hero

          maybe he could swing by rite-aid and bring some pedialyte.

          1. I’d say that’s worth asking, honestly. My ‘guy’ and I occasionally pick up stuff for each other en route.

          2. Trigger Hippie

            See. This why I love you people. It didn’t even occur to me to ask him. Christ, my brain is fried right now.

          3. “If you wish to have a living customer, please bring Pedialyte”

    4. Poop and Puke until you stop.

      Then hydrate.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Trying, man.

    5. Grumbletarian

      http://www.webmd.com/first-aid/food-poisoning-treatment

      Try just sipping water. It will combat the dehydration and dilute whatever is in your system without adding anything that might be an irritant.

      I am not a doctor, but it seems like a safe bet for now.

    6. The Other Kevin

      Your body is trying to get rid of whatever is making you sick. Let it do its thing, at least for a day.

    7. Drink lots of water?

      1. another Kevin

        Suck on ice chips.

        For a (blessedly short) period of time, my mother had advanced GVHD that was attacking her GI tract as a result of an ‘over active’ bone marrow transplant.

        The only thing she could handle taking orally was ice. I can only imagine the level of discomfort she was in, and it was one of the only normal things she was able to do towards the end.

    8. Trigger Hippie

      Thanks, gents. Now if you’ll excuse me…

      *hurl,spew,hoping for death*

    9. Gilmore

      in-home food poisoning remedy?

      Pedialyte

      which is really just “hydrate”.

      I’ve heard smoking opium does wonders, but is hard to get unless you know a wizened old Chinese man

      1. Trigger Hippie

        “I’ve heard smoking opium does wonders, but is hard to get unless you know a wizened old Chinese man”

        A 17 year-old me started a rather lucrative side business at my high school moving small amounts of the stuff for my dad(my family life was kind of fucked up).

        Ha!

    10. Suthenboy

      Actually food poisoning can be quite serious. You might want to have someone look at you if you are getting dehydrated.

      If it is just poison in your guts activated charcoal would be my first try. If it is a bug you picked up from spoiled food there isnt much you can do except stay hydrated and ride it out.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Thanks, Suthen. I’ll keep those stocked up for the next one. I have a frustratingly sensitive stomach.

      2. Slammer

        My dad taught me about eating a piece of really burnt toast for the charcoal

        1. Trigger Hippie

          Ah!!! That can be done!

    11. Homple

      If you have any serious abdominal pain along with this, get to the ER.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        I do. But it has lessened over the past couple hours. I live within 2 miles of a hospital so worst comes to worst I’ll have my neighbor swing me by there. I just fucking hate hospitals. Hell, I’ve broken a finger and toe and still didn’t go.

        Stupid, I know.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Go before your dehydration becomes too severe. They’ll put you on a bag so you can hydrate without the puking.

    12. thrakkorzog

      Reminds of back when I was a teenager and had a rather nasty case of food poisoning. My dad told me to drive my sister somewhere, and I told him I wasn’t feeling well, so he should probably do it instead.

      He stared yelling at me and calling me a lazy entitled jerk. In the middle of his rant I simply said, “Pardon me,” and walked towards my bedroom. He started giving me the whole “Don’t walk away when I’m talking to you” routine, and then instead of going to my bedroom, I walked into the bathroom, stuck my head into the toilet, and just proceeded to puke out all my internal organs.

      After about five minutes of puking my guts out, I looked up at my dad and said, “I’m sorry, you were saying something?” After that my dad was a lot more reticent about yelling at me.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Hehehehe, lovely.

  17. Mythical Libertarian Woman

    Not sure if this got mentioned in the comments of this morning’s links since I haven’t had a chance to read through those yet, but I had to share this insanity: http://nypost.com/2017/02/28/obamas-book-deal-bidding-war-hits-60m/

    $60 million? How can they afford to pay them a $60 million advance? Penguin/Random House used to be two publishers and they had to merge because of financial problems. Penguin is the one that is struggling the most with the ebook market because they have no concept of pricing their books in any kind of reasonable way. The article says that Obama’s previous books only earned $6 million and $8 million apiece—10 times less than the advance that they’re paying them now. Like I mentioned in the comments on the Milo article, an “advance” is supposed to be an advance on expected earnings. It’s not just money they give them for the rights to the book, it’s specifically tied to the amount they expect to sell. They seriously think this one is going to sell 10 times as much as Obama’s previous books because it has Michelle’s name on it too?

    They are going to bankrupt themselves for the purpose of virtue signaling. That’s all it can be. There’s absolutely no way this book is going to earn that back. They are completely insane. This bidding war was entirely virtue signaling. The publishing industry is absolutely nuts.

    (I notice Little, Brown is the only one that didn’t get involved in the bidding. I wonder what that means. Probably just that they’re too broke, and not that they’re not involved in the virtue signaling.)

    1. DOOMco

      headdesk

    2. I’m not saying Obama would allow this, but sometimes a politician’s wealthy supporters will arrange bulk purchases of the book, copies which go unread but the politician still gets the profit.

      Jim Wright pulled something like that, IIRC.

    3. The Other Kevin

      If they title it “How Trump is Exactly Like Hitler and What You Can Do About It”, I know a lot of people who would buy multiple copies.

    4. BakedPenguin

      Self-correcting problem. When whichever publisher gets it and goes out of business, I’m sure we’ll all hear the proggies denounce Obama for his greed.

      1. 60,000,000 isn’t really that much. Factor in the taxes, exclusive golf club memberships, trips abroad…

    5. kinnath

      Slate was explaining these books are like commemorative plates. You buy one and put it out where your friends can see it. No one reads the fucking books.

      1. trshmnstr

        commemorative plates
        What is this, the 70s?

    6. Tundra

      It’s gonna be a fucking textbook. You watch.

      1. Rhywun

        Community Organizing for Dummies?

  18. I’ve been playing X-Com: Enemy Unknown (1994) as a retro visitation to my past. So primitive but I do love the turn play and squad dynamics. I also love blowing up everything with grenades, and the “shoot by wire” bombs. I mean why even give the aliens a chance to shoot at you?

    1. Brett L

      Because the alien tech gets destroyed before you get the good shit if you just grenade it. I’ve been playing XCOM 2 and enjoying it. I do play the original sometimes.

      1. If someone invents a beer, pot and guns video game, nobody would post on Glibertarian for weeks, they’d be so focused on the game.

        1. Maybe not so much the pot, although who knows?

        2. Brett L

          Can it have an ass-sex DLC package?

          1. Just use [insert name of unpopular computer program] and you won’t know the difference.

          2. Damn your nimble fingers!!

        3. Where are the Mexicans and the ass-sex?

        4. MikeT86

          Only reason I post here is I can’t play CK2 at work.

      2. I usually have the good tech before I go on my explosive killing sprees. *pours a 40oz out for the soldiers with the laser rifles*

        1. thrakkorzog

          Sometimes that last alien is hiding out in a gas station after I’ve already lost 3/4 of my squad, and ain’t no way I’m going to bother trying to clear that out.

    2. John Titor

      I mean why even give the aliens a chance to shoot at you?

      *Takes one step out of Skyranger, realizes its a Chryssalid Terror Mission*

      “FUCK ME EVERYBODY SQUAD UP, NO ONE GOES OFF ALONE, EVERYONE HOLDS A PRIMED GRENADE IN THEIR HAND.”

  19. westernsloper

    Hard Hitting Scientific Study of the Day

    The simplest solution: Just don’t pee in the pool. And tell all your friends not to do it, either.

    1. That’s how I know I used to watch too much SouthPark, I immediately thought of that episode and felt queasy.

      1. tarran

        I think the song is what makes that episode so memorable.

        Minorities in the Water Park

        1. westernsloper

          I’ve never seen that episode. Wow, the stuff those guys get away with.

          1. As long as they don’t mention Mohammad, they’re fine.

    2. Suthenboy

      A local health club has a reverse osmosis pool cleaning system on its pools. Most of what is left after cleaning the water is urine. Oddly enough I noticed that the women’s pool had twice as much coming out of it as the men’s pool.

    3. Suthenboy

      Also, tell all the kids that you put something in the water to make it turn red if they pee in it. Then keep an eye on them and watch how many of them try to sneak a look behind themselves while they are swimming.

      1. Zero Sum Game

        😀

    4. Mike Schmidt

      I stumbled across that earlier. It seems like they did the scientific version of a political poll.

      Li’s team collected water from pools and hot tubs at hotels and recreation facilities in two Canadian cities and measured the amount of a sweetener called acesulfame potassium, or Ace-K, for short. It’s found in everything from yogurt to soup these days, so it’s no surprise that it’s ubiquitous in our urine.

      Everyone’s intake of artificial sweeteners is going to be different. I assume it could be strikingly different between any two people. And they only looked for one type of sweetener, so that is going to make things even harder to estimate. I bet you could make a just as believable guess just by knowing the yearly number of guests at each hotel.

      1. R C Dean

        “Let’s see, take the average number of guests per day, multiply by one quart, and . . . OK, I think we’re done here.”

      2. westernsloper

        Ya, the artificial sweetener being the key element to their analysis seemed bogus. I just find it funny people get paid to do that kind of work, and that NPR actually did a story on it.

    5. mikey

      Used to swim all the time. Then I took a SCUBA class and for the first time, wearing the face mask, I could see what I was swimming in – never went back.

    6. Rhywun

      WTF is wrong with people? Who does that??

      1. bacon-magic

        *pees on Rhywun’s leg* I thought you had a jellyfish sting.

  20. mr simple

    When Facebook decided they wanted to address the issue of child pornography, they created a database,” said Micha Lakin Avni, whose father was murdered by Hamas in an October 2015 bus attack. “If someone puts up a picture, not only will it be taken down, but it will be added to a database, and every picture that’s put up will be compared to that database automatically.

    How is it legal for Facebook to maintain a child porn database? Meanwhile that guy who took a phone that had pictures of his naked daughter to police to press charges on someone got charged for possession.

    As for the rest of the article, sorry your kid died, that doesn’t mean every big company you can name needs to pay you.

    1. Rhywun

      “Where’s Bob?”
      “Doing ‘database maintenance’.”
      “Again?!”

  21. Rufus the Monocled

    DON’T ANY OF YOU WORK?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Define work… I been here all day.

    2. 6:00 AM to 2:30 PM, in the real time zone.

    3. bacon-magic

      Nein.

    4. Certainly! 5:30AM-3:00PM. I am finished slicing raclette for the day, my good man.

    5. westernsloper

      I worked until 1300, and have things drying in the shop so no dust zone. That’s my excuse.

    6. trshmnstr

      Nope. Job starts on the 13th.

      1. Mike Schmidt

        Yes. I work at avoiding my job duties so I can comment here.

        1. Mike Schmidt

          Dammit…threading error

        2. bacon-magic

          Right there with you.

    1. and at age 72.

      Of course he came from the injecting T era.

      1. You mean the era of responsible steroid use?

        I mean, as opposed to the hideous bodybuilders who compete nowadays.

        1. Yeah I like the Steve Reeves and up to the 70s era – and then things started getting weird.

      2. MikeT86

        We never left that era, we just added way more chemicals to it.

        Get thee to youtube, watch guys discuss their stacks.

    2. WNB… but still, dude is in great shape.

    3. This Machine

      Frank Zane, man. Only dude to ever beat Arnold for Mr. Olympia, right?

      1. AceDroman

        +1 Sergio Oliva

  22. A study purports to show that support for marijuana prohibition is declining in Latin America

    Also, two out of three:

    “Efforts to loosen Mexico’s marijuana restrictions have lurched forward somewhat over the last year. Most recently the country’s senate approved the use of medical marijuana — that bill must also be passed by the lower house of the legislature, however.”

  23. We’re getting deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole when the clerk of the Supreme Court issues rebukes for the crime of describing a girl with the word “her.”

    And this is a case where the underlying issue involves what sex a transgender person is. I suppose the clerk thinks xe is authorized to rule of the merits of a case before xir bosses do.

    1. UnCivilServant

      Is that clerk now unemployed?

      1. If xe is, Slate doesn’t say so.

        Sadly, I presume the clerk wouldn’t act without at least the implicit approval of xir bosses.

  24. Gilmore

    Libertarian Party Finally Earns Official Recognition in Iowa
    *And within minutes, issued a pledge to forever increase farm subsidies and Ethanol Mandates

    1. Any Florida Men/Women here? Isn’t your system fairer to third parties?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        We let whoever the hell wants to be on the ballot be on the ballot. I’m planning on finding a way to nominate Warty and SugarFree in 2020.

        1. John Titor

          This year there was a very tight third party race between Walt Disney’s Head and a Ball of Tackled Pythons. I voted for Ball of Pythons, because fuck The Mouse.

          1. Pinky-swear that you’re not joking?

    2. BakedPenguin

      Nah, Johnson / Weld was a one time thing. We need zombie Harry Browne to run.

      1. Wow, Wikipedia says he died in 2006. RIP

  25. Gilmore

    Legislating AND Budgeting From the Bench

    Kansas Supreme Court Orders State to Spend More on Schools

    Someone said this =

    “We’ll be like the proverbial chicken on a June bug if the state tries to do it on the cheap,” said Alan Rupe, one of the districts’ attorneys.

    I have no fucking idea what that means. Does anyone speak “Kansas”?

    I recall the time in the 1990s when the NY State Supreme Court declared city schools ‘unconstitutional’ – not because of lack of funding, but because they simply *sucked so bad* that they didn’t even qualify as schools. I can’t remember exactly the case, but i recall it was probably in the midst of the Guiliani Admin. I think Joel Klein came in after the decision to ‘fix things’.

    1. westernsloper

      No, I don’t know what that means, and this didn’t help.

      1. Gilmore

        Authentic plains gibberish

      1. Rhywun

        Pfft. That was Missouri. It will totally work in Kansas.

    2. Slammer

      I think it means ‘We would snatch it up quickly’ like a bird eats an insect

      1. Zero Sum Game

        Yeah, that’s it. Chickens are incredibly stupid creatures and will try to eat literally anything that they can get in their mouths. It’s also super convenient that they do because it makes them cheap to raise.

    3. Suthenboy

      Whoever that is got it wrong. It’s ‘like a duck on a junebug’. Ducks love junebugs. As soon as they see one they snap it up. C’mon guys, this isnt difficult. Only a non-american commie pinko traitor or a dirty furriner has never heard the expression ‘like a duck on a june bug’.

  26. tarran

    So, the proggiest progs I went to high school with are fretting about the dangers of automation on facebook.

    I’m losing the argument, because unlike the invention of the steam engine, and the internal combustion machine and the washing machine and the telephone and the personal computer and the fax machine, the self driving cars and artificial intelligence is going to PUT HALF THE HUMAN RACE OUT OF WORK UNLESS WE DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!1111, and all the economic arguments and historical evidence cannot dent their armor of primitive thinking.

    Some of their favorite ideas:
    1) Outlaw automation on farms, because people will do a better job of caring for food than soulless machines
    2) Outlaw or tax the shit out of self driving cars and trucks
    3) Outlaw or tax the shit out of AI applications
    4) Abandon money and start using “happiness points” to pay people.
    5) Impeach Trump so that we can get serious people like Elizabeth Warren who will stand up to the evil corporations.
    6) Tarrifs/taxes on anything built with excessive automation.
    7) Mandatory 30 hour work-week so that more people are employed.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Where the hell did you go to school?

      1. tarran

        A tony private school in Boston. Peter Beinart, the airheaded former editor of the New Republic (who once called me an anti-semite for arguing that the U.S. should treat Israel no differently than any other country and then wilted when I confronted him to explain why such foreign policy position is antisemitic), is a fellow alum.

        Sadly they are intelligent enough to learn how things really work, but have been so poorly misled by the “learned” publications that they get their news, analysis, and knowledge from that they are doomed to forever hold incredibly stupid ideas that have been discredited decades or even centuries ago. They refuse to read articles than don’t come from the propaganda mills they believe are reliable arbiters of what is truth and what is not. Everything they know comes from propaganda that is deluding them while complimenting them on their intelligence, compassion and erudition. So are confused about basic concepts like how the greenhouse effect works, what fracking is, the history of the minimum wage, why public schools were taken over by the state and made compulsory etc, yet think they completely understand it.

        It’s utterly Sisyphean to debate them. Two days after admitting that you have a point, they go back to arguing their original position because they read a new essay on Salon.com that reminded them what the party line is supposed to be.

        1. Trigger Hippie

          “A tony private school in Boston.”

          Spelling error or beautiful use of a new to me and now favorite adjective?

          1. Rhywun

            Tony private schools in Boston teach you words like “tony”.

      2. Rhywun

        I’m amazed at how many monumentally stupid friends a lot of you have. Mine prog friends are pikers in comparison.

    2. Gilmore

      the dangers of automation of facebook.

      ??

      Facebook is basically a software platform. WTF does that even mean?

      1. John Titor

        I assume he meant on facebook, not of.

      2. tarran

        Yeah, I meant they are arguing *on* facebook about the dangers of automation.

    3. John Titor

      This is why I will welcome our robot overlords.

    4. westernsloper

      Abandon money and start using “happiness points” to pay people.

      If happiness points are prog for hand jobs, I fully support this.

      1. tarran

        If prog hand-jobs are like anything else the progs do:
        1) They will be awful at accomplishing their stated purpose i.e. they will not be pleasurable, and will probably hurt… alot.
        2) The givers will demand you praise them for doing such a crappy job.
        3) You will pay for your handjob, and it will be more expensive than the finest happy endings at the most luxurious spas that provide that black market service.
        4) You will have to wait in line for your awful hand-job, and it will be given to you at the producers convenience, even if you need to be somewhere else.
        5) Accepting the handjob will be mandatory – even if you really don’t want it.
        6) NOT BEING IN THE MOOD IS NO EXCUSE!!!!
        7) NEITHER IS FLACCIDITY!
        8) In 20 years, they will angrily deny that anybody could get a handjob before they put the state in charge of it.

        1. westernsloper

          WELL THANKS FOR RUINING IT

          1. Homple

            Thank you for finding that so I didn’t have to.

    5. Pope Jimbo

      Have you asked them when they are going to move out to a farm where they can be happy plowing, planting, weeding and harvesting by hand?

      Or am I guessing that the farm work is for “other people”?

    6. Suthenboy

      “Outlaw money and start using “happiness points” to pay people”

      Shoot that person.

      #1 and #7 – You know who else wanted massive numbers of people doing heavy physical labor with teaspoons in order to eliminate unemployment?

    1. UnCivilServant

      But what about Providence Plantations?

    2. Rhywun

      “We want him to hear loud and clear that his values are Wall Street values, they’re not Rhode Island values,” said Georgia Hollister Isman, the state director of Rhode Island Working Families.

      I didn’t know that commie outfit had a Rhode Island branch. Also, I like how she characterizes chanting and booing as “work”. Shouldn’t she paying some grunt to do that for her?

  27. Lafe Long

    The new interior secretary just rode into work on a horse

    Zinke — who was confirmed by the Senate on Wednesday by a 68-to-31 vote — rode with a nine-person mounted police escort to the Interior Department’s downtown headquarters on Tonto, an Irish sport horse. The horse, a bay roan gelding standing just over 17 hands tall, is normally kept in stables on the Mall and is owned by the U.S. Park Police.

    Within hours of his arrival Zinke signed two secretarial orders, including one that overturned the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service’s guidance to agency managers to phase out the use of lead ammunition and fishing tackle on national wildlife refuges by 2022. Several gun rights and hunting groups had objected to the policy, which was instituted just before Barack Obama left office, on the grounds that non-toxic copper and steel shot is somewhat more expensive.

    In the new directive, Zinke wrote, “I have determined that the Order was not mandated by any existing statutory or regulatory requirement and was issued without any significant communication, consultation, or coordination with affected stakeholders.”

    1. Gustave Lytton

      And then issues a third order to shut down the stables and send Boxer to the glue factory because WTF does the US Park Police need horses for? And why is there a US Park Police?

    2. Tundra

      Lead poisoning–which takes place when fragments of shot are consumed by scavengers or absorbed into the surrounding environment–is estimated to kill between 10 and 20 million birds each year, along with other species.

      I smell something… it kind of smells like horseshit.

      1. trshmnstr

        Included in lead poisoning: grievous bodily harm caused when lead passes through the body of a bird at high velocity.

        1. bacon-magic

          Lead causes birds to fly into windmills.

      2. It would’ve been birdshit…but we killed them all with lead poisoning, I guess.

    3. ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES.

      HORSES PLEASE ZARDOZ. THE BRUTAL KINKE HAS PLEASED ZARDOZ.

      1. Hail, hail!

      2. Zero Sum Game

        The gun is good. The penis is evil.

      3. Rhywun

        *breaks out loincloth*

  28. Gilmore

    Lamest Hate Crime Ever

    “Allah is a fraud, Dum Dums”?

    (facepalm)

    Of course, now he’s going to get a Fatwa against him.

    1. bacon-magic

      All bacon snack bar.

    2. Felony Desecration?

      Hmmm…

      “2927.11 Desecration.
      “(A) No person, without privilege to do so, shall purposely deface, damage, pollute, or otherwise physically mistreat any of the following:

      “(1) The flag of the United States or of this state;

      “(2) Any public monument;

      “(3) Any historical or commemorative marker, or any structure, Indian mound or earthwork, cemetery, thing, or site of great historical or archaeological interest;

      “(4) A place of worship, its furnishings, or religious artifacts or sacred texts within the place of worship or within the grounds upon which the place of worship is located;

      “(5) A work of art or museum piece;

      “(6) Any other object of reverence or sacred devotion.”

      Violation of (4) is a felony, other forms of desecration are misdemeanors.

    3. thrakkorzog

      Occasionally I’ll see a story about somebody putting bacon in front of mosque, and all I can think is “what a waste of perfectly good bacon.”

      1. Rhywun

        I think, “how long until this is revealed as a false flag operation.”

  29. Viking1865

    Today marks the 5th anniversary of the death of Van T. Barfoot. Enlisted in the Army in 1940, first saw combat in the invasion of Sicily, and also landed at Salerno and Anzio. Earned the Medal of Honor near Carano, Italy. Citation follows:

    For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty on 23 May 1944, near Carano, Italy. With his platoon heavily engaged during an assault against forces well entrenched on commanding ground, 2d Lt. Barfoot (then Tech. Sgt.) moved off alone upon the enemy left flank. He crawled to the proximity of 1 machinegun nest and made a direct hit on it with a hand grenade, killing 2 and wounding 3 Germans. He continued along the German defense line to another machinegun emplacement, and with his Thompson submachine gun killed 2 and captured 3 soldiers. Members of another enemy machinegun crew then abandoned their position and gave themselves up to Sgt. Barfoot. Leaving the prisoners for his support squad to pick up, he proceeded to mop up positions in the immediate area, capturing more prisoners and bringing his total count to 17. Later that day, after he had reorganized his men and consolidated the newly captured ground, the enemy launched a fierce armored counterattack directly at his platoon positions. Securing a bazooka, Sgt. Barfoot took up an exposed position directly in front of 3 advancing Mark VI tanks. From a distance of 75 yards his first shot destroyed the track of the leading tank, effectively disabling it, while the other 2 changed direction toward the flank. As the crew of the disabled tank dismounted, Sgt. Barfoot killed 3 of them with his tommygun. He continued onward into enemy terrain and destroyed a recently abandoned German fieldpiece with a demolition charge placed in the breech. While returning to his platoon position, Sgt. Barfoot, though greatly fatigued by his Herculean efforts, assisted 2 of his seriously wounded men 1,700 yards to a position of safety. Sgt. Barfoot’s extraordinary heroism, demonstration of magnificent valor, and aggressive determination in the face of pointblank fire are a perpetual inspiration to his fellow soldiers.[9]

    After WWII, Mississippi Senator and Klansman Theodore Bilbo would ask Barfoot if he had any trouble with the black soldiers during the war. Barfoot responded “I found out after I did some fighting in this war that the colored boys fight just as good as the white boys…I’ve changed my idea a lot about colored people since I got into this war and so have a lot of other boys from the south”.

    Barfoot also served in Korea and Vietnam (where he was a helicopter pilot), and retired a full bird colonel with a Silver Star, Bronze Star, 3 Purple Hearts. and 11 Air Medals to go along with his Medal of Honor. He retired to central Virginia, first to a farm in Amelia County, and then as he aged to a quiet suburban neighborhood in Henrico County. It is here that he resurfaced in the public view briefly in 2009 when the homeowners association of his development threatened legal action if he did not take down a 20 foot flagpole he had erected in his yard following his purchase of the home. It became the outrage of the day, and the HOA eventually caved under pressure from many voices, including both of Virginia’s Senators. The General Assembly of Virginia passed legislation the next prohibiting HOAs from barring the proper display of the American flag. Having fought the good fight and prevailed against Fascists, Nazis, Communists, and hectoring suburban busybodies, Barfoot slipped back out of the public eye. In 2012 he tripped and hit his head in his front yard, fracturing his skull. He died at the hospital, surrounded by family, at the age of 92.

  30. Zero Sum Game

    Thanks to all who participated in that other thread of doom with me. I consider you all my friends and despise you all equally for it.

    And because it hasn’t been said in a while, “Fuck you, cut spending.”

  31. Poor Fernando Torres.

    1. Rhywun

      I was half-watching that game but I missed what happened. … Yikes.

      But remember, soccer is not a contact sport.

      1. GSL in E

        Me too. Saw on his Twitter feed that he’s OK, and expects to be back soon. But it was scary.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Outlaw automation on farms, because people will do a better job of caring for food than soulless machines

    Godfey Daniel!

    I need a drink.

  33. Gilmore

    You Say “Wasted”, I Say “Money Well Spent”

    The Biden family sounds like a riot.

    1. Tundra

      …and tax debt of more than $313,000.

      What’s with these Dems and taxes? They sure don’t seem to like paying them.

      1. UnCivilServant

        “Laws are for little people”

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Mandatory 30 hour work-week so that more people are employed.

    I’ll take “Stupid Ideas Which Will Never Die” Alex.

    I’m outta here. It’s definitely time for a beer.

    1. Hyperion

      Did I hear beer? *pops one*

      1. Nice Hyp, but you do realize that everyone is gonna go with a top-hatted, monocled, mustachioed gee.

        1. Hyperion

          Ok. I’ll always be the original, although it wasn’t my idea. I was bored.

    2. Rhywun

      I thought they tried something similar in France. How’d that work out?

      1. Hyperion

        About as well as their top 70% tax on corporations idea worked out.

  35. Slammer

    I await the thicc with ‘bated breath

    1. Zero Sum Game

      Keep your batin’ to yourself, man. Nobody wants to see that.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        It is bated breath. You have to admire his flexibility and determination.

  36. Zero Sum Game

    Sex wearable is coming to track your performance and judge you

    Remember when we all thought Nintendo’s Power Glove was kinda weird?

  37. JD

    Waiter, you forgot my bullets. Could I get an order on the side?

    1. Gilmore

      Thanks, now my mom is going to have to pull a train for the next 3 weeks.

  38. Broswater

    Montreal man charged with terror hoax after bomb threat targeting Muslim university students :

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/montreal-concordia-university-bomb-threats-1.4006151

    I’m glad they caught that maniac. This is what happens when you let the alt-right carry its hate speech.

    What’s the guy’s name ? Hisham Saadi ??

    Well okay maybe he wasn’t a right winger at all…but still… maybe fake, but accurate.

    And don’t you dare question the narrative with your facts !!

    1. John Titor

      Concordia, the school that literally spits on Israeli Prime Ministers?

      Man, you can’t do anything to get the alt-right to like you anymore.

  39. one true athena

    Local derp of the day: a handful of lunatics don’t want Snapchat near their homes. They’re claiming snapchat is one of those dirty dirty businesses killing “small businesses and making property values rise”. Even though property values have been climbing in that area for at least fifteen years. Long before Snapchat was thought of. And long before those losers decided to only patronize the cute hipster boutiques and ignore the local small stores. jfc my neighbors are stupid

    maybe with all their new billions Snapchat will locate to friendlier business climes, like, I don’t know, the Soviet Union