Jewsday Tuesday: My Favorite Jew

A question I get asked constantly, ok, occasionally, oh alright, rarely, well fuck, I’ll confess, never, but I’ll say it anyway, is “Hey Pervstein, who’s your favorite Jew?” I’ll restrict my answer to Jews amongst the living, which excludes Jerome Horwitz and Richard Feynman. And with those guys out of the running, it’s an easy choice. Here’s some quotes:

“I’m not pro-life, and I’m not pro-choice. I’m pro-football.”

“I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.”

“I don’t apologize to people with an agenda.”

“I am not anti-death penalty, but I’m damn sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.”

“If a young Richard Pryor walked into the room we couldn’t make a star of him today. We’re at that level, and it’s really too bad.”

“I’m 67, though I read at the 69-year-old level.”

“None of us create a fucking thing in this world. The only ones who create anything are the ones who are completely miserable.”

“There’s a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979.”

“Politics is the only field of human endeavor where the more experience you have, the worse you get.”

“The most dangerous thing in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you’ve been living without really and truly living and by then it’s too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it’s too late for wishes and regrets. It’s even too late to dream.”

How can you not love this guy? To put the kosher cherry on the egg cream, 40 years before the current wave of PC thuggery trying to silence anyone whose speech lies outside of the boundaries of the Righteous, he was set upon by a mob of feminists who were so offended by his idea of humor and wisdom that violently silencing him was their idea of true self-defense. If I am ever elected (((President))), he’s my #1 pick for the Medal of Freedom. A musician, a novelist, a political candidate, he’s done it all.

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Greatest Living Jew:

 

Comments

176 responses to “Jewsday Tuesday: My Favorite Jew”

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I’ll admit to being an ignorant Gentile who doesn’t know about this guy, but I like what I hear.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Oh Jesus, I thought his name was Charles Whitman for a minute.

    2. Old Man With Candy
      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Once I figured out it was Kinky and not the Tower Sniper, I smacked myself for being an idiot.

      2. westernsloper

        Superb. That is better than making us uneducated think he was a tower sniper.

  2. SP

    I miss our favorite Jeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww. He’s just so good at being Joosh.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      “I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it’s just not in a place I can show you.”

  3. So, would those quotes constitute…

    …(Wait for it)…

    …A Charles Whitman Sampler?

    1. Gilmore

      booooooooooooooooo

      (steals all the coconut ones)

  4. Tundra

    I love Kinky, but I think you are my favorite Jew, old man.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      If only you were female, young, cute, and foolish.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Yeah, and I love that.

        2. Why would anybody cover Warrant?

          1. Chipwooder

            Because heaven isn’t too far away

      1. SP

        And if only OMWC were not afraid of SP’s skill with a rusty tin can lid.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Yeah, well, there’s that. I only wanted one circumcision.

          1. Tundra

            Yikes.

            Let’s listen to Kinky covering Tom Waits.

            And be annoyed that there is no Euclid Avenue in Minneapolis.

          2. At least tell me there are dirty book stores.

          3. Tundra

            But of course!

            Classy, even.

            I remember going past it when the kids were new to reading. One of them asked about it and I told her she misread it, it was ‘Saxworld’.

            A music store.

  5. Winston

    http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2017/08/22/new-york-city-statue-removal/

    A spokesperson said Viverito also thinks that Grant’s Tomb should be on the review list. Grant has been regarded by some as anti-Semitic.

    Natives have a sad.

    CBS2’s Kramer asked if the name New York City would be changed since it was named for the Duke of York; a slave trader.

    His press secretary said he doubts the commission will put that idea on the table.

    Vindication!

    1. Rhywun

      That’s “known communist & Puerto Rican terrorist sympathizer Viverito” to you.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      To be replaced by a statue of Lena Dunham, I presume

      1. BakedPenguin

        Scruffy, caught your criticism on my post. Agreed, too on-the-nose, and lacking in a few ways. I’ll do better next time. Also, more Latina reporters (I’d do that even without RC Dean’s input.)

        However, I really thought it was important to let everyone know that the rally in free speech Boston was actually a rally by mostly free speech progressives, that the narrative pushed by the media was complete bullshit, and to spread the word to their friends on social media or whatever.

        I’ll make the next one a long one, with as many Latinas as I can fit in.

        Which is most of them, from my experience.

      2. BakedPenguin

        Unless I misread that…

      3. How about a statue of Roman Polanski raping a teenaged Lena Dunham?

        Transgressive!

    3. Spartan Dad

      A spokesperson said Viverito also thinks that Grant’s Tomb should be on the review list. Grant has been regarded by some as was borderline 3rd Reich strong anti-Semitic.

      1. Spartan Dad

        *and apparently can’t use strikethrough tags correctly

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          Yeah, But who is buried in Grant’s tomb?

          1. Technically, you’re entombed in a tomb.

            Having said that, the answer you’re looking for is Julia Boggs Dent.

    4. mindyourbusiness

      Years ago, in Robert Townsend’s book, “Up the Organization”, he wrote that every business should have one vice-president with the sole duty of rising to his feet whenever someone proposed a stupid idea and screaming, “HORSESHIT!” at the top of his lungs and keep on screaming the same until the silliness got voted down.

      Maybe a good idea for city councils?

      1. LT_Fish

        Gotta smack down the good idea fairy whenever it pops its head out – even if it’s from the Senior VP or higher (like the roman slave “You’re only human” – only in this case “Don’t be a douche!”).

    5. The real question is who is buried in Grant’s Tomb?

  6. DEG

    Excellent choice!

  7. Winston

    I assume you prefer him to Rick Perry?

  8. Rhywun

    It is curious that he switched from Republican to Independent to Democrat.

  9. westernsloper

    “There’s a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979.”

    That is wrong because that one was carved up on a playing card in a smelly apartment in West Palm Beach and I snorted it in 1986.

    The song threw me.

  10. Lachowsky

    “I am not anti-death penalty, but I’m damn sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.”

    Then you aren’t really against the death penalty. If the death penalty exists, then it will be wrongly applied. QED

    1. kbolino

      I think most people who say “I am not anti-death penalty” are not against the death penalty…

    2. Akira

      I think his position is that it may be judicious to execute murderers, rapists, etc. and it would be nice if we could accomplish that, but the possibility of error makes it an unacceptable risk.

    3. antisthenes

      I think I get his point, because I tend to share his view — it’s entirely morally justified to kill someone who is guilty of the sort of crimes that merit the death penalty, theoretically, but because the state will inevitably kill some innocents, the death penalty cannot be acceptable.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        This is my feeling as well. I don’t think I’d hesitate to double-tap someone who was attempting to assault me or my family, but if he

        1. Old Man With Candy

          (fucking hotel connection) …were arrested, tried, and convicted, I’d be against the state doing it.

        2. Lachowsky

          I am absolutely okay with the taking of human life in the defense of human life against an agression. I carry a peace for that exact purpose. When the state gets involved in killing people, then there is a problem. The state is largely incompetent.

        3. Chipwooder

          I’m ok with the death penalty in those rare cases where there can be absolutely no question of guilt. James Holmes, for instance – take that fucker out back behind the courthouse and just put him down. I think you could fashion a legal framework to make that a condition of its use.

          As currently applied, however, no I’m not in favor of it.

      2. westernsloper

        That is exactly the argument I took in my speech class some who even cares how many years ago. When the few hardliners piped up in the question part of the exam I actually had rebuttal material. There is honest to god no hit evidence we have murdered innocent people. Fuck the death penalty,

        1. westernsloper

          hit=shit

    1. robc

      Had a Crooked Stave Progenitor tonight. Tasty. Part of my bday haul

    2. Sounds like it would be long and tedious, just like Bulwer-Lytton.

  11. Lachowsky

    I’m watching who framed Roger rabbit with my boy right now. I watched this when I was a kid, but that’s been 2 years ago
    The antagonist in the movie just revealed that he is a city employee who is determined to destroy toon town so that he can benefit from a government contract to build a road through it.

    ! Roadz!

    1. BakedPenguin

      The original Ghostbusters is a good introduction as to how regulators mess shit up.

      1. Tundra

        The daughter is progressing on the bass. She is currently playing a Squire Jaguar. Can you recommend a decent string?

        1. Caput Lupinum

          I’ve always been a fan of tape wound strings. Generally easier on the finger tips, they give a great thumpy sound that’s closer to a stand up double bass, perfect for jazz. They are also good for slap bass, as they don’t have the metallic snap. They are also sold black, which just looks bitchin’.

          1. Tundra

            She’s 15. Are they forgiving?

          2. Caput Lupinum

            Very. The core is the same as a normal bass string, so they are just as durable. The Tahoe however cuts down on buzzing from a misfret, they’re softer so she can play longer as she develops calluses, and they are generally a little, for lack of a better term, squishier, so they’re a little easier to push down.

            Downside is they are a little more expensive, but not that much, and most music stores don’t carry them. Bass strings tend to last a very long time though, so if she lies then order another pair or two online and she’ll be set for a year.

          3. Caput Lupinum

            Tape, not Tahoe. Stupid phone.

          4. BakedPenguin

            I’d agree with Caput. If you want some forgiveness regarding friction, go with tape wound to start off with, especially if she’s a demon who won’t stop playing. Depending on the type of music she likes, she may have to – or want to – transition to flatwound or roundwound (If she sticks with the bass).

            Roundwound if she wants to play rock, country, or blues. Flatwound if she wants to play jazz (actually, tapewound might work for that, too, I have to admit I’ve never played with those).

          5. Tundra

            Yeah, she’s a demon. Between the percussion and the bass, she’s playing all the time.

            Thanks to you, Caput, and Password gl1b for the advice!

        2. Password gl1b

          CL’s flat-wound idea is a good one, although they pair best with a fretless.

          DR hi-beams are my recommendation for when she wants to try round-wounds. Very bright and clean.

    2. westernsloper

      I am listening to NPR right now. I don’t know the name of the show, but he is talking about the Uni-Bomber. At least npr is sticking with the theme.

  12. one true athena

    So apparently several outlets have gotten ESPN’s statement that they really did switch Robert Lee from announcing the UVA game because his name might offend someone’s delicate sensibilities.

    MR LIZARD, feel free to begin operations anytime now. I think I’d rather be eaten, at this point.

    1. antisthenes

      Hmm… since Lee is a common Asian name, does that make the decision at least 50% racist? Sounds like ESPN might need open up its pocketbook.

    2. robc

      anyone want to guess at my middle name. This personally pisses me off.

      1. robc

        I wonder if Chef Edward Lee has these kind of problems.

      2. Gilmore

        Hitler?

        Beauregard Josiah Adolphus Worthington R. Burnside Calhoun IV?

        1. robc

          The answer is always Hitler.

    3. Winston

      Even better; his replacement is a white guy.

    4. Winston

      Hmm the source for that ESPN statement seems to be the site that reported it?

      1. one true athena

        Griswold at the Free Beacon got an email statement, and Hobeck from WaPo got one, at least that I know of. Plus Clay Kicker was on Tucker to talk about it which would be pretty bold if he made it up, when all ESPN would have to do is say it was a lie.

        1. Winston

          Ah, you can never be too credulous when you have crazy stories such as this.

  13. Password gl1b

    TW: Pam Geller

    Stumbled across this in some comments at the other place. No idea about the veracity. Charlottesville “Unite the Right” organizer formerly of occupy movement and Obama supporter?

    1. Gilmore

      I would not be surprised if some of these so-called ‘Racist’ groups turned out to be professional agents provocateur. Given the huge amount of ‘hate crimes’ that are perpetrated by lefty-‘anti-racist’-activists, i couldn’t put it past them to up their game to LARP as Nazis.

      1. antisthenes

        Seems like a pretty dangerous game to play, under the present circumstances.

        1. Gilmore

          yes, it sounds crazy

          and i suspect they’ve just mixed up different people with the same names. I went to high school with a jason kessler myself.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Isn’t that in the Saul Alinsky play book?

        1. Gilmore

          Rule #11 is close:

          “If you push a negative hard enough, it will push through and become a positive.” Violence from the other side can win the public to your side because the public sympathizes with the underdog.

    2. Akira

      I’d be interested to see if that’s true or not.

      If it were true, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit. F.A. Hayek remarked that in the Weimar Republic, communists and Nazis frequently switched sides because their ideologies – while presenting themselves as polar opposites – were actually quite similar.

    1. That site went downhill after they changed it to where you can’t specify what type of urban legend you want to read.

      It used to be that you could click on, say, the broad category of “Horror” legends, then you could select from “Techno-industrial terror”, “Murdering Madmen”, “Supernatural Tales”, etc.

      Now, you have to scroll through a bunch of legends in random order.

      1. Gilmore

        someone linked to a story not long ago about how the site founders/owners and some of its investors are involved in a legal battle over the thing.

        that said, i do expect someone to start flapping their gums about the tainted-aspects of DC at some point. Sharpton already said the Jefferson-memorial has got to go.

  14. Derpetologist

    found this today:
    http://www.migflug.com/jetflights/the-combat-statistics-for-all-the-aircraft-currently-in-use.html

    ***
    Observations:

    1) US multi-role fighters seem to be primarily used in the strike role. They barely break even between kills and losses on the air-combat scorecard.

    2) The F-15 Eagle is completely dominant as a fighter, 1) because it’s a really good aircraft, and 2) because it’s so expensive it can only be used by nations with enough money to invest in the training and maintenance it takes to make really good air forces.

    3) Looking at the losses of the F-4 to ground fire, one can see how big of a threat SAMs were in the 1960s and 1970s. Compare this to more modern fighters and one can see how aircraft design has outpaced SAM systems.

    4) The poor performance of the Mirage F.1 is somewhat surprising.

    5) The ridiculously high kill ratio of the F-14 in Iranian service is also surprising. The common canard is that training trumps technology, but an air force with great technology but beset by political purges and struggling with maintenance problems and embargoes can still have a turkey shoot against an air force with both poor training and poor technology.

    6) Su-27 is the only Russian fighter to have a positive kill ratio in combat, but as we all know this is likely due to “monkey model” export fighters, as well as the poor training standards of Arab air forces.

    7) The unbeatens (aircraft that have engaged in significant air combat but never been shot down in air to air combat): F-15 Eagle, Sea Harrier, Su-27.
    ***

    Also, an F-15 was used to test an anti-satellite missile (ASM-135 ASAT). Far out.

    1. Gilmore

      T-minus….. 1 hour…. before you receive stern lecture from Francisco.

    2. Password gl1b

      F-15 was my absolute favorite plane when I was a kid. “Air Superiority” has a cool ring to it and the things are just freaking cool to behold.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        For me it was the F4 even if it was a dog.

        1. Plinker762

          Worked with a Vietnam F4 pilot. He said that since the engines smoked a lot when approaching targets, they would fly with one engine at idle and the other just on afterburner. This would prevent either engine from smoking.

      2. Chipwooder

        F-14 was mine, as it was every kid who grew up in the ’80s. Top Gun’s reach is long. Also, my aunt worked at the Grumman plant on Long Island and used to get me F-14 stickers and promo photos. That didn’t hurt either.

    3. peachy rex

      The Mirage F.1 suffered from four flaws – it was pretty good, it was pretty cheap, it was pretty easy to operate, and the French would sell to anyone with the cash to buy. It’s basically the anti-F-15.

    4. LT_Fish

      If the Russians turned on some of the SAM systems they’ve installed in Syria and got serious, things would change. They’ve proliferated some very high-tech systems the last few years but we haven’t seen them tested per se (unless you count shooting down airliners over Ukraine). China’s pretty close behind them while we keep making incremental changes to the Patriot and Stinger.

      Re: F-15 and ASATs – think about how long ago that was. Tom Clancy included that back in the original Red Storm Rising. We’re still flying those same aircraft 30+ years later.

      Re: the A-10 – built tough and made to last. (yes, I’m also very familiar with the A-10 that landed in Iraq after losing and engine and 1/2 a wing.

  15. A federal jury in Las Vegas refused Tuesday to convict four defendants who were retried on accusations that they threatened and assaulted federal agents by wielding assault weapons in a 2014 confrontation to stop a cattle roundup near the Nevada ranch of states’ rights figure Cliven Bundy.

    1. westernsloper

      So what is the count? 1 down four out?

  16. Rufus the Monocled

    Best take on the Kyrie/Isiah trade:

    https://twitter.com/GrantGoldberg/status/900134860521525248

    LOFL.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      The Celtics are going to make the finals, where they’re going to lose every game by 30+. Their defense took one hell of a hit.

      1. peachy rex

        It looks like a pretty good deal for both sides to me.

        The Cavs had to trade Irving, and they needed quality role-players so that Bron-Bron and Love won’t have to do everything themselves. They can’t get said role-players in free agency (because they’re capped the fuck out due to overpaying Bron-Bron’s buddies) or in the draft (the cost of making the finals every year); trading one of the big three was their only way out of the trap. A very good point, a solid wing and what should be a high draft pick is a nice haul for a guy who everyone knew wanted out right now.

        The Celtics needed to sell high on Thomas; he’s a good player, but his size is just a killer – not only does it make him a permanent liability on defence, but aggressive midgets suffer very high wear & tear, and have correspondingly short lifespans. Thomas is hugely valuable *on his current contract* – but once he gets a max, he’s going to be an albatross, so it was imperative to hang him around someone else’s neck first. Crowder’s very solid, but with Hayward and Tatum coming in, his minutes were going to disappear – better to move him while his value was still high. And they’ve got draft picks coming out of their ears, probably more than they can actually use.

        Feel bad for Thomas, though – he goes from being The Man on an excellent team with growth potential, to being Bron-Bron’s sidekick, to probably being The Man on a crap-ass team heading nowhere.

        1. I don’t think the Cavs will sign IT longer term on a max deal. The key is the Nets pick — if it’s high enough it could help entice LeBron to stay put and go along with a rapid rebuild/reload. I also look for the Cavs to add Wade to alleviate the IT defense issue. To be fair, Irving’s D isn’t too hot to begin with.

          1. peachy rex

            It will be interesting to see what the Cavs do with Thomas. It’s a bit of a Catch-22 – you don’t want to be the team stuck giving him the max, but if they let him walk right away the trade looks a lot less impressive from their side.

            And yeah, Irving’s D isn’t much of an improvement on Thomas’. But there’s at least a chance that time & coaching can make a difference with him, whereas height is unfixable.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            Nice sum up and from what I hear and read Brad Stevens is an outstanding coach.

  17. Winston

    Will inherit the wind be banned?

    1. Raven Nation

      So, African-Americans wearing MLK shirts into Bob Jones U can be menaced?

    2. Rhywun

      full Trumpian regalia

      Wow.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’ve lost their damn minds. Feel free to disregard their word salad.

  18. Juvenile Bluster

    This is my favorite Jew. Has been since I did a report on him in (I think) 2nd grade.

  19. Password gl1b

    My favorite thing to happen in a long time: watching CNN carry a Trump rally where the crowd spontaneously erupts in a chant of “CNN Sucks.” That is pure, unadulterated win.

  20. Lachowsky

    I have probably posted this before.

    My country went to war in Afghanistan when I was in eight grade. My little brother fought there and has lasting problems because of it. I’m 30 years old.

    When does it stop?

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Never. It’s never going to stop. Your children and your grandchildren will be saying similar things.

      1. Lachowsky

        I fucking hope not.

        War is evil. My boy is 5 years old. If the government forcibly drafts him in 13 years to go fight in another pointless fucking conflict, I will personally go murder government officials.

        Murder is a strong term. I would rather call it something else. Something like justice redistribution.

        1. John Titor

          I wouldn’t be too worried about drafting, that’s part of the problem.

          Note the lack of Vietnam-era mass protest against unpopular wars due to the draft.

          1. Lachowsky

            Ok. drafting isn’t the problem. A proper draft would rile up the populace. However, the last time a draft happened amd the populace was riled up, the draft wasn’t stopped.

        2. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Metaphorically, sheesh.

    2. John Titor

      Welcome to empire building, need to keep your vassal states in order. And since Afghanistan can collapse at any time I’m going to say ‘at least until it becomes completely untenable to keep American forces there, either due to the locals or problems back home’.

      I think it’s got the potential to be a longer, dumber Vietnam outcome.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Vassal states?

        *starts to think how he would solve Afghanistan in CK2*

        1. John Titor

          Zunist Afghanistan is a hell of a run in CK2. Being wedged between the Muslim hyperstate, nomads and bloody Indians who have holy orders that are usually as big as your total troop count initially.

          1. thrakkorzog

            Ever tried playing as one of (((those people))) in CK2? The only way to survive is to be a damned sneaky bastard. There are literally two Jews and only one is playable. The main strength the Jews have is that whenever someone else expels all the Jews, you get a shitton of 20+ skilled advisors showing up in your court.

    3. westernsloper

      When does it stop?

      When we get leaders(?) who realize there is nothing there to fight for. When we get someone who will say, ” We are done. You are on your own. Handle it. And if we are ever attacked again from a group that organized in this country we will make this country no more. Have a nice day” 🙂

      1. straffinrun

        We are done. You are on your own. Handle it.

        And then the NSA and it’s subordinate groups closed shop, turned their backs on billions of dollars and went to home. The end.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          When the economy folds in on itself, a la the Soviet Union, and we have no choice.

          Or artificial intelligence kills us, whichever comes first.

        2. westernsloper

          They will never close shop. Those shops are open for bizness and will most likely always be open from now on until George Orwell rises from the dead. For them to do their spookiness does not require us to have troops all over the goddamned planet.

          1. straffinrun

            You have bases in a country that is stable and non aggressive and it’s proof that the bases are necessary. You have bases in a country that isn’t stable and aggressive it’s proof the bases are necessary.

          2. westernsloper

            Who you calling you?

          3. straffinrun

            The Royal You, of course. It’s my country, too. Torn on whether to keep it that way.

          4. westernsloper

            Well, the royal you has had bases all over since the end of WWdos. Were they necessary? Who knows. I am sure smarter people than I can answer that. After WWdos how long did it take for the defeated countries to move on into the current century? How long would it take Afghanistan? Fuck that place. It is a lost chunk of the world. There are others on different continents that are the same but different tribalism. They wont change until they want to.

            Why does a person live in a dirt floored mud brick house? Because they want to.

            I am curious of Swiss’s take on this. I hope he chimes in eventually. I respect his thoughts on the situation.

          5. straffinrun

            I go by Yokota airbase all the time. World’s 2nd or 3rd largest economy, depending on how you measure it, has foreign bases on it’s soil 70 years after surrendering. Most of the Japanese accept it as a necessary evil with China and the Norks in the neighborhood. My take is that you’d have to utterly destroy Afghanistan, humiliate the losers, flood it with troops in virtually unassailable bases and hope that Iran, Pakistan, Russia etc. decide to allow this new society to emerge. That’d take quite a bit of treasure, blood and suspension of reality for it to happen.

          6. straffinrun

            *Please don’t assume I meant “you” as in Westernsloper. One thing I despise is people who say that the government is the people. They sure as hell don’t represent me.

          7. westernsloper

            What happened to Japan is but a mere wisp of destruction that could be done to a country now if the ” royal you” decided to do away with a piece of land. As to the economy of a base. That is a thing isn’t it? We would crash economies if we went all Ron Paul over the world. Half of me says ya whatever. But then half of me says (as I have said before and even this morning) if we are going to do bases, build them in new good places like a probable new country of Kurdistan. Fuck Turkey.

          8. westernsloper

            *Please don’t assume I meant “you” as in Westernsloper

            Fuck off, no worries. What do you think I am John Titoriish?

          9. straffinrun

            Gotta get back to work. Sure we’ll have a chance to talk about this later considering this shit isn’t ending any time soon. Have a good night.

      2. Rhywun

        When we get leaders(?) who realize there is nothing there to fight for.

        Not gonna happen unless the American people demand it.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          So not gonna happen.

        2. Hammercorps

          We’d have to get the American people to realize that there’s still a war going on in Afghanistan first.

      3. there is nothing there to fight for

        But the opium poppies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Opiate crisis!!!!!!!!!

        There’s yet another “durr hurr” reason to stay in that resourceless stone-aged shithole. The a fucking 1990s style drug freakout in the form of the “opiate crisis,” that’s now 2 or more major drug freakouts I can clearly recall in my lifetime already.

        Watching it all unfold again completely floors me. I love this excellent anecdote Rep. Massie tells about the poppy fields in Afghanistan. What a fucking shitshow.

  21. Lachowsky

    Lachowsky’s peace plan.

    The U.S. cuts a clear policy about terrorists.

    If your country aids and abets terrorists, and those said terrorists carryout an attack on the people of the unites states, then the United states with use its military savy to ensure the death of all the political leaders in your country.

    If political leaders of of other countries had an incentive to police their borders and discourage terrorism, then they would do a way better job of doing so than they are currently.

    1. straffinrun

      Imagine if other countries took that stance against the US.

      1. John Titor

        The dominant empire gets to pull shit the middle powers only dream of.

      2. Lachowsky

        Honestly, might makes right. The U.S. is in a military position that can make this happen. Most other countries can’t.

        1. John Titor

          Unfortunately you’re deeply tied into the current United Nations model. You start pulling this without a solid diplomatic plan and nations start pulling away from the U.S. and forming new power blocks. Probably mostly with China, maybe some with Russia, and maybe a pathetic attempt at a greater EU.

          1. Lachowsky

            I would see this as an outside the UN action. If people from your country commit terrorist attacks on my.country, then my country is going to kill the political leadership in your country.

            Pretty simple.

            Anybody who is involved is political power is interested in only one thing. That one thing is maintaining their political power.

            If then U.S. let it be known that political leaders will die if they allow terrorists to originate from their countries, then political leaders in other countries would be strongly incentivized to not allow terrorists to breed in their countries.

          2. John Titor

            My point was less about the UN and more the current diplomatic order. You start threatening to murder political leaders and you basically alienate the entire world because you come off as the madman in the room. Russia doesn’t even threaten, they just do it, and they’re seen as shitlords for a reason.

            Not to mention it gives certain anti-*insert nation here* group incentives to commit terrorist attacks on the U.S. Say you’ve got a radical Arab group who have German citizenship start bombing. You going to murder Merkel over it?

          3. Lachowsky

            After the political leadership of Afghanistan and Iraq was murdered for their support of terrorism, Mrs. Merkle would be highly disincentived from allowing that kind of nonsense in her country.

            It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s a damn sight better than the perpetual war that we are currently pursuing.

          4. John Titor

            Or governments are not magical solutions to problems and in fact are very flawed (what a novel idea, an almost libertarian one in fact) and therefore will miss potential terror attacks.

            Unless of course everyone forms police states to desperately try to prevent being murdered. And even then it won’t work. What a solution.

          5. John Titor

            Also, as an aside, such an attitude makes me very sympathetic to the idea of destroying the United States. Us foreigners aren’t interested in mass murder and your rule by fear. How many trillions you willing to spend before we burn you out?

          6. BigT

            Lach,
            What happens when John Q American sets off a bomb in Beijing or London or Berlin?

            Do unto others…

        2. straffinrun

          If the U.S. doesn’t prosecute it’s own war criminals, we aren’t going to see marginalized groups accept their moral lecturing. Might makes right or might makes evil.

      3. Lachowsky

        “Imagine if other countries took that stance against the US.”

        If a foreign power came into the United states and killed every political leader in this country, and then promptly left, I would think of that as a net benefit

        1. straffinrun

          😉 I was trying to be more cryptic in my statement, but …

        2. westernsloper

          For the folks that just put Lachowsky on a list, I don’t know him.

  22. Derpetologist

    There was a long communist insurgency in Thailand. It was eventually ended by offering amnesty to the rebels. I wonder if something similar would work in Afghanistan.

    Tell the Taliban that if they surrender, they can walk away, no questions asked. To surrender, they must give up a weapon of some kind: rifle, rpg, machine gun- something. Sure, they can re-arm later, but at least it puts a dent in their inventory. Take their picture and fingerprint them when they surrender. If they get caught doing aloha snackbar later, off to jail.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      That might work if we were winning but couldn’t quite finish the job. As it stands now we’re just propping up a government that can’t exist on its own. The Taliban realize they only have to wait us out.

    2. LT_Fish

      Thailand or Malaysia?

  23. Derpetologist

    tales of woe
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_violence_against_LGBT_people_in_the_United_States

    ***
    September 22, 2000 – Ronald Gay entered a gay bar in Roanoke, Virginia and opened fire on the patrons, killing Danny Overstreet, 43 years old, and severely injuring six others. Ronald said he was angry over what his name now meant, and deeply upset that three of his sons had changed their surname. He claimed that he had been told by God to find and kill lesbians and gay men, describing himself as a “Christian Soldier working for my Lord”; Gay testified in court that “he wished he could have killed more fags,” before several of the shooting victims as well as Danny Overstreet’s family and friends.
    ***

    I knew a family who had the same last name. I heard that their son committed suicide because of harassment over his name, but it may just have been a rumor.

    1. Rhywun

      I’ve got nothin’.

    2. peachy rex

      In middle school I ran track against a kid named (seriously) Forrest Andrew Gay. Ponder *that* on the tree of woe.

      1. Derpetologist

        In middle school, I lost a chess game to a guy named Klunk; I forget his first name. I was at a tournament for the chess team.

        Although the only reason our team made it to that tournament was because I won the tie-breaker game at a lower level. I was sick that day, but came in for the chess game after school.

    3. Winston

      Gaylord Nelson?

    4. Akira

      I worked with a guy with the last name Gayman, and he wasn’t that old either. I never actually met him (I only talked to him on the phone a few times) but I’ve got to give some automatic respect points to the guy just for making it through high school with that name.

  24. westernsloper

    If LT Fish rolls by……I saw your comment in morning links. The McCain did indeed get hit on the Port side. I searched out better pictures. That however, as you know, does not absolve the McCain even though she had right of way. As you know in a crossing situation the vessel that has the other vessel on its starboard side is the give way vessel. That would be the container ship. The other vessel is the stand on vessel. The McCain, being the stand on vessel had a commitment to maintain course and speed up to a point they determined the give way vessel was not altering course and speed in such a way to pass astern and avoid collision. That whole thing is a total failure of watch standing. I was grilled with flash cards of nav lights until I could tell you length, tonnage and propulsion of any vessel on the water. I wonder what is going on these days for watch standers.

    1. LT_Fish

      That’s what we’re waiting to read. The released version of the Fitz report still has no details on the watchstanding either. Sooner or later the UNCLAS mishap report will come out and hopefully spell out most of the details.

  25. Ken Shultz

    Outlaw country Jews are few and far between. You’ve got Kinky Friedman and . . . ?

    There are a lot of punk rock Jews. If I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be Dave Insurgent (AKA David Rubenstein).

    Here he is fronting his band Reagan Youth.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf_X7UL2F6g

    Yeah, the Nazi and Klan imagery and “Regan Youth” name were all supposed to be ironic as all get out.

    I believe that video is from just before the Tompkins Square Riot, which is largely agreed to have been a police riot. Yeah, the police rioted.

    My personal take? I saw them a couple times–great band. But one night at Fender’s Ballroom in Long Beach, CA–was the craziest night of my life. I started out the weekend going to a show at Fender’s–only to end up in Washington D.C. days later after several fights, being threatened by the police, my buddy stealing the engine out of my car and trading it to a guy who left–with my girlfriend–hunting them down, etc., etc. no sleep . . . for some reason. I went back to DC to get away from it all.

    My life was crazy back then, but it wasn’t anywhere near as crazy as Dave Insurgent’s.

    His life was a real sharknado. Made mine look tame by comparison.

    If I were to write a biography movie script about a punk rock guy, it would probably be about Dave Insurgent.

  26. Great article about a gun shop manager in Koreatown during the LA Riots in the 1990s, 25 years later.

    Roof Korean is a quintessentially American thing.

  27. CPRM

    Just placed this in the dead thread, didn’t see this one, “SYFY (formerly Sci-Fi) ran an add about their anniversary, implying that they were going to reshow the things that got them an audience. But, I didn’t see any ‘The Powers of Matthew Star‘ clips, nor any clips of ‘Voyagers!’.”

    1. Hammercorps

      SYFY had an audience?

      1. CPRM

        well, Sci-Fi did, not sure about SYFY

        1. thrakkorzog

          BSG definitely had people talking around the watercooler. I don’t remember any watercooler talk about the syfy shit.

    2. LT_Fish

      Reposting again here as well – by that it should include Farscape, Invisible Man, The Chronicle and the rest of those late 90s titles. Canceled before their time.

  28. LT_Fish

    BTW, re: living Jews….I guess he died a few days too early to make the list, but found this article on Finkelstein interesting.