ZARDOZ SPEAKS!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. DO NOT FEAR THE SUN DISAPPEARING – ZARDOZ WILL RESTORE IT YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES…AS TEMPTING AS IT IS TO LEAVE IT HIDDEN AND FREEZE AND STARVE ALL BRUTALS.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Comments

405 responses to “ZARDOZ SPEAKS!”

  1. What does an eclipse do to werewolves?

    1. Vhyrus

      IT’S TURNING THE FRIGGING WEREWOLVES GAY!!!

      1. Thank you Vhyrus Jones.

        Now for a less crazy response…

        1. straffinrun

          Turns them into roadkill?

        2. Trigger Hippie

          They make swift and bloody work of the ‘daywalkers’.

    2. Gilmore

      They turn into Half-Werewolves.

      Or as they are more commonly-recognized, “Greek

      1. Sorry, you don’t have permission to visit this site.

        Your Internet access level does not allow you to access this type of site. If you believe that you have a work-related need to access this site your supervisor should contact your ITS service desk.

        Not allowed to browse File host category

        D:

        1. Vhyrus

          It wasn’t even that good.

        2. You ain’t getting off that easy, pal:

          1. Why would you do that Switzy?

          2. Cruelty. Shared misery. Take your pick.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I’m going to need a lighter for a minute.

        3. Gilmore

          just google “hairy greek man”

          your employers will be much cooler with that. don’t mind the occasional eyebrow waggles you get.

    3. BigT

      Depends on where they are.

    4. one true athena

      Well, based on the documentary “Despicable Me” when the moon is taken away, werewolves become humans instantly. So extrapolating WITH SCIENCE!!, the answer is that a werewolf during an eclipse would start to turn into a wolf (because darkness and full moon) but then revert again after it passes. It’s probably a very painful two minutes, but luckily it won’t happen in the werewolf’s area very often, so no one in the community does much more than put out a warning to be safe at that time.

      1. Rasilio

        –‘It’s probably a very painful two minutes”–

        But enough about Warty’s sex life

  2. Tundra

    Delusions of grandeur much, StoneHead?

    1. bacon-magic

      *drops gloves, takes toke and bows to Stoner Head*

  3. Juvenile Bluster

    AS TEMPTING AS IT IS TO LEAVE IT HIDDEN AND FREEZE AND STARVE ALL BRUTALS.

    You’ve got to be friends with either Cthulhu or SMOD, right? One of you has to finish the job and wipe out this useless planet. Please?

    1. Our suffering is amusing to them.

  4. bacon-magic

    I heard Trump will misspell the word and they will impeach his ass.

    1. It was a great eclypso! Magnificant! Big!

      1. bacon-magic

        Huuuuuuge.

  5. straffinrun

    Hey, this eclipse looks just like every other night.

    1. You’re looking the wrong way, man.

  6. Posted by ZARDOZ | Aug 21, 2017 | KHAAAAAANNN!!!, Science

    What qualifies an article to go into the category “KHAAAAAANNN!!!”?

    1. Vhyrus

      Anything related to Benedict Cumberbatch or Ricardo Montalbán.

      1. Your criteria is clearly incorrect on two counts.

        1: This ZARDOZ post is in the category.

        2: Only one of those actors is Khan.

        1. AlexinCT

          Shaka Khan?

          1. Vhyrus

            Is there an echo in here?

          2. Trigger Hippie

            I feel for you.

          3. Florida Man

            Very clever.
            *slow clap*

          4. *fondue eating grin*

          5. bacon-magic

            Ghengis Kahn?
            Madeline Kahn?

          6. The Last American Hero

            Genghis!

        2. Criteria “are”, not “is”.

          /grammar Nazi

          1. Wrong.

            The proper correction should be “criterion not criteria” as it was a singular test.

          2. DesigNate

            I’m feeling very triggered by your use of Nazi in this context.

      2. F. Stupidity Jr.
      1. Chipping Pioneer

        I read that in James Earl Jones’ voice.

  7. The Other Kevin

    I have a feeling today is when the alien invasion sneak attack will happen. All of us will be staring in one direction at the sun, then out of the opposite direction will come the alien spacecraft. It will be over before it starts.

    1. ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS TACTICAL CHOSEN ONE.

      BRUTAL ENFORCERS WILL BE STANDING BY, SHOULD MR. LIZARD TRY ANYTHING SNEAKY.

      ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

    2. Vhyrus

      If they were really smart they’d fly right in from the shadow of the moon. We’ll be too busy blinding ourselves or staring through welding goggles to see them.

      1. “That’s no Moon!”

        1. It’s Kim Kardashian?

          1. Chafed

            Just her ass.

  8. Slammer

    Everyone have their eclipse monocles in place?

    1. I have two eyes, and blinding one would ruin depth perception.

    2. The Other Kevin

      I’m going to look through a malnourished orphan. Is that safe?

      1. might not provide a very clear image.

        1. Grumbletarian

          You don’t know just how malnourished his orphans are.

        2. The Other Kevin

          I cut their rations for weeks to prepare for this.

    1. Chipwooder

      Hah! I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought of that one.

      “Ooooo-k….here’s a picture of my sister. You can all have her. I hear she’s very good.”

      “Take another step and I start swinging!”

      “You hear that? He’s threatening you, let’s get him!”

      “For god’s sake man, show some balls!”

      “I think it’s too late to try and impress them.”

    2. Gray Ghost

      One of the best guilty pleasure movies of the ’80s. And a freeze-frame worthy scene right up there with Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places, when Vanessa Angel steps out of that tent…

      So many great scenes in that movie. The exam, the training montage, the operation on the clan chief’s kid, the interrogation.

      1. Chipwooder

        This will test your ability to stay afloat at high speeds!

        Col. Rhombus made the movie.

  9. Pomp

    *wet fart*

    1. You trying to start some sort of SugarFree story off?

      1. Pomp

        no, that was the sound of the eclipse itself happening.

  10. Nephilium

    Fuck my life. The girlfriend months back decided she wanted to go to see Green Day in concert. I politely said I had no interest in going, and would not enjoy it in the least. Regardless, she bought two tickets, and now the person who was going with her has backed out. She’s trying to guilt me into going…

    1. Vhyrus

      Go, and wear the most white trash pro trump triggering shit you can find. MAGA hat, ‘Shut up and pick more tomatoes’ t shirt.

      Bring a taser.

        1. John Titor

          You can probably borrow that one from Vhyrus.

          1. Vhyrus

            But that would mean I’d have to take it off…

        2. Whycome u want Nephilum beaten?

          1. Vhyrus

            I don’t want him beaten, persay. I simply want to make the morning links great again.

          2. Are you implying they’re not great, you motherfucker?

          3. Vhyrus

            They’re not sending us their best links. Some of them are nice links, I’m sure.

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            At a Green Day concert? We’re talking about a fanbase of 40-something hipsters and their 115lbs androgynous children disarmed by festival security. He’s going to be fine.

          5. AlexinCT

            He is going to get a lot of narrowed gazes though..

        3. BakedPenguin

          I sent a link of that to my brother. He’s married to an African woman.

        4. How about a custom-made “I HATE GREEN DAY” shirt?

          I can make one for you.

      1. Tundra

        Or a “Replacements did it better!” t-shirt.

      2. Vhyrus

        Okay last one, but I actually think this one works.

        http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/i-bet-youll-vote-this-time-hippie-trump

        1. bacon-magic

          Winner. Here’s a background for your phone maybe.

      3. Nephilium

        The concert’s tonight, so I don’t even have a good chance to get any new shirts to troll with. Off the top of my head, the best shirt I can wear tonight is a Dropkick’s shirt from the American Pride tour. American flag colored shamrock, with “Try burning this one” on the back.

        1. straffinrun

          You gotta have a white sheet lying around somewhere.

          1. straffinrun

            Don’t forget to pick her up in a Dodge Charger.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            +1 General Lee

            But only if it has a Dixie horn

          3. R C Dean

            -1 science teacher

        2. Chipwooder

          That’s a fine choice. I have that shirt myself!

          Anyway, it could be worse. My parents just went to see Darkstar Orchestra or whatever it is, some Dead cover show, which has reminded him that he was a Deadhead 45-50 years ago. Every time I go over to their house now, I’m assaulted by that insipid hippie garbage. They play it constantly now.

    2. Slammer

      I hope you have the time of your life

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Do they still don’t want to be American idiots?

    4. John Titor

      Anything you want to drag her to or *ahem*…’do’ that she’s just not into either? Work out a trade. Worst case scenario you suffer than get a reward, best case she backs out.

      1. Nephilium

        That… that… John Titor, you may be my hero today.

    5. Gilmore

      I despise Green Day with every fiber of my being, but if its a gf you want to keep, and who you want to tag along with you on your own occasional hobbies, you should probably suck it up.

      (reads below)

      which is what Titor more or less said. You earn a free “now its my turn” card. Which is never a bad thing to have with a squeeze.

      1. straffinrun

        +1 wireless earbuds.

        1. Pomp

          +1 slightly greater than normal mescaline dose

          1. straffinrun

            Throw in an angry bout of tinitus and Deal!

        2. Gilmore

          It actually made me think of “What was the most annoying shit my gf’s ever dragged me to”

          I think in one case, it was ‘political’ stuff. my gf worked for the UN and she often dragged me to both speaking events and conferences / social things…. like fundraisers for Medicines Sans Fronteirs / Darfur / Falun Gong and OMG KOFI ANNANS GONNA TALK or a meeting of Top People in the field of “Water Politics” and blah blah blah. I didn’t mind because i was already wearing a suit and there was open bar and i usually managed to find some other bored-looking dude who had an interesting story or 2.

          1. Pomp

            Did you ever make any trolling opportunities for yourself to pose uncomfortable facts to certain people? Or did you just generally make it chill to minimize drama? I’m 100% certain that I wouldn’t have been able to resist the call to mess with people from time to time.

          2. Gilmore

            Did you ever make any trolling opportunities for yourself to pose uncomfortable facts to certain people?

            I’ve never liked “those other” libertarians who always showed up in conversations and then stated some “BUT [insert form of govt/NGO intervention into economy] SHOULDN’T EXIST ANYWAY”, or just flatly point out “FOREIGN AID IS WRONG” or whatever.

            Hell i didn’t even like them over at TOS. ‘Doctrinaire’ people are boring even when you agree with them. They’re not interested in the details because they just rely on their ideological dictum rather than rationalizing from the details and eventually arriving at the principle.

            In the described situations, there was never any point ‘messing with people’. It was far more useful/interesting to just hear what someone did, how they felt about their work, then ask them questions about the details. If there were opportunities to gently insert a libertarian thought or two, i might throw it out there, but usually just as a conversation piece, not my attempt to ‘counter’ whatever it was people were talking about.

            You’d be surprised how many lifers in NGO-work that i met that, once you peeled back the superficial layers of “here’s how someone who has spent their life dealing with Bureaucrats talks/thinks”…. were the most firebreathing critics of govt-waste and govt-incompetence you could possibly imagine. But they weren’t “Libertarian”: these were deeply liberal people who merely learned the hard way that “good intentions” don’t mean shit and that corruption, self-interest, govt-induced inefficiencies always end up swallowing 90% of the funding they throw at problems.

            but they’d still balk at any ideological proposition that govt should never ‘try’ to solve problems. they just thought they needed more time, more money, more controls, better organization… etc. Still, you learned a lot from those types. Its partly why i am the way i am today.

          3. That’s funny, I’ve noticed the same thing working where I work. I’ve never met anyone who was openly there just to soak up tax dollars. A few I’ve met are openly authoritarian from the standpoint that people are too dumb to do the right things and so lying to them and forcing them to do what you think is best is morally justifiable.

            However, most of the government people, especially the feds, are true believers who are just so inculcated in the bureaucracy that they think that’s how things get done. If there was a fire, they’d immediately pass around a link to a survey to find a good time to schedule an initial meeting to schedule subsequent meetings. Someone would get stakeholders on a conference call so that they could generate a working paper for the Committee to Extinguish the Fire in Room 301. That person would get a peevish email from a higher-up they forgot to invite, so they’d have to schedule an additional meeting to brief that person and that person’s higher-ups, but it would start late because some of the invitees would be offsite or in another meeting. Half the invitees would be emailing people about other stuff during the meeting, and it would run an hour late. Then everyone would go home and the building would burn down. It would never occur to them to just go put the damned fire out, or call a firefighter, or buy a damn hose or something. Or it would occur to them, but they’d just assume it wouldn’t work.

            So, the people who I work with from nonprofits see that and are furious. They’re true believers, but they’re also people who just don’t like having to dick around when they’re trying to do their jobs, and so a lot of them get frustrated and leave. But in a similar way they see that bureaucracies tend to make it more difficult to accomplish things, and governments couple that tendency with power and authority and remove culpability, but they just assume that it’s the least bad option. They get turned off by working with government, but then they leave to work in a pure nonprofit to advocate for government regulation.

            I stopped trying to be a libertarian fifth column there a while ago and content myself to the odd “I told you so” or giving people gentle nudges if they start heading in a classical liberal direction. But it is interesting to see other perspectives.

          4. Akira

            I’ve never met anyone who was openly there just to soak up tax dollars.

            I met such a person at the prison. She was an officer who would openly boast that she doesn’t do shit, and if the lieutenant tried to make her work, she’d complain to the union and get it quashed. I’m gonna say she’s the worst person I’ve ever met because of that outlook, because of her tendency to gleefully abuse inmates, and because of a host of other personality defects.

          5. John Titor

            I did meet Kofi Annan at a university thing and pretended I had no idea who he was when he engaged in small talk. He seemed a little miffed about that.

          6. It’s not like he was anyone important.

          7. John Titor

            And actually thinking about it the only other time I did that, with the current Prime Minister Zoolander on the streets of Ottawa, he did the exact same thing, get annoyed that I didn’t recognize him immediately. Says something about their egos.

          8. John Titor

            Kofi sure seems to think he is.

          9. Pomp

            You based out of Ottawa, JT? For some reason I thought you lived in a hick town.

          10. The UN Serves no function and should be disbanded.

            You should have trolled Trudy… “I wish we had a Prime Minister. It sure is embarassing having an extra from Central Casting performing the cremonial functions…”

          11. John Titor

            This was when I was just out of school and working in Ottawa, Trudeau was nowhere near the Liberal leadership yet. He was just some backbencher the press furiously masturbated over.

            If you were in the downtown of Ottawa you tended to run into a lot of random MPs and major members of government.

          12. John Titor

            @UnCivil what actually happened is I was making my way out of a credit union when this kid push around me through my legs as I held the door open and ran out. So I hear “heh, sorry about that, kids you know?” and turn around and it’s Zoolander giving me the shittiest “you should know who I am” grin he can muster. So I just say “actually, that’s usually a product of bad parenting.” Turn around and walk out.

            I am very glad that I did that now, all things considered.

          13. Gilmore

            In my case i think that would have been a little ostentatious/obnoxious. If you’re at a UN social function and you don’t know who Kofi is, you’re saying “I’m an asshole” and probably shouldn’t be there.

            My m.o. w/ ‘big shots’ was often to try and get them talking about stuff other than ‘shop talk’. e.g. they had probably repeated themselves so many times in the past 2 hours talking with various flunkies and hangers-on that they were bored to death. So find out if they follow sports, music, are into cars, food, hobbies… basically, shit other than “global development initiatives”

          14. John Titor

            I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a UN thing, it was some event about the political science graduates being the future hope for the world or some shit. He was supposed to give a speech later on in the day or something. Either way he engaged me first and I just pretended he was some guy who was here for the event, I wasn’t an outright asshole about it.

          15. In my case i think that would have been a little ostentatious/obnoxious. If you’re at a UN social function and you don’t know who Kofi is, you’re saying “I’m an asshole” and probably shouldn’t be there.

            I get very assholish around useless, self-important people, and the UN is pretty much the definition of that. “What’s the ‘You In’? Is that some sort of social group that runs on dares?”

            @Titor – I approve of that handling then. (caveat, see my reply to Gilmore)

          16. Vhyrus

            Holy shit. JT for president 2024.

          17. *the handling of the Trudy encounter. The Kofi encounter gets a shrug.

          18. John Titor

            I also got shitfaced with Ed Holder when he was an MP for London. There’s a bar in downtown Ottawa with an upper level for the political class and a lower part for the smelly plebs. Holder came down to the lower part and hung out with us, he was great, down to earth guy, sang some Irish songs.

          19. Nephilium

            My biggest complaint is probably that this isn’t the first time that this same scenario has played out (just with different events). She asks if I want to go to something, I say no, but she is more then welcome to go. She buys 2 tickets, and like clockwork, I get dragged to an event that is not in the least enjoyable for me. The last one of these was another fucking Green Day show. Their idiotic, and terrible stage show of American Idiot. After that, even the girlfriend admitted that was bad.

            I ask her before buying any tickets to events, and if she says she’s not interested, or even on the fence, I either just buy one ticket and go solo, or I don’t buy any tickets and skip the event.

          20. Number.6

            Obviously, you’re being way, way too rational here assuming that she has agency when it comes to selecting what events to attend. Just because she’s inflicting really bad gigs on you, doesn’t mean that you have to reciprocate in the same way.

            I’m sure you can come up with an idea for a shared event that steals about 3 hours of her life and makes her participate in a shared activity that she doesn’t enjoy, that you do. Bonus points for it being something less expensive than tickets for a gig.

          21. John Titor

            Goddamn Rivens of the world ruined my best method for that, D&D.

          22. Pomp

            Man, she loves Green Day.

          23. BigT

            Just drink very heavily before going and barf at the concert. Never again!

            Worked for me.

          24. My now-wife has pulled that shit on me in the past, and I nipped it right in the bud. If I said I don’t want to go to something, I’m not going to go. Sell the ticket, give my regrets to the party host, whatever. I told you I don’t want to go, and that should be enough.

            The thing is, in every relationship and especially in marriages, there will be plenty of hills that aren’t worth dying on. There are a lot of times when I just go along with what my wife wants even though I don’t want to or it pisses me off or whatever, as she does with me. But sometimes there are things that are non-negotiable, and those are fights worth having, and worth having early. The last thing you want to do is have something that you can’t live with become a pattern of interaction.

          25. R C Dean

            my gf worked for the UN and she often dragged me to both speaking events and conferences / social things

            Sounds like pure hell to me.,

          26. …eh, for an open bar afterwards. I mean, if it is top shelf stuff.

          27. AlexinCT

            Not enough free alcohol in the world to make that worth it

          28. But Enough About Me

            Top shelf?

            It was a fuckin’ U.N. event. There ain’t no other shelf as far as those effers are concerned.

          29. R C Dean

            I was talking to the General Counsel for a state hospital association several years ago. He was getting ready to retire, looking for a successor, and knew I had a background in hospital association work, which involves a lot of lobbying.

            He asked if I would be interested. Knowing I would spend a lot of time with legislators, staffers, agency people, lobbyists, etc., I told him “No, I don’t think I could hide my contempt for the people I’d have to work with.” He paused, nodded, and we moved on.

      2. wdalasio

        The problem with “now its my turn” cards is that they’re revocable at the woman’s discretion. Worse still, their attempted use at the wrong time subjects the man seeking their redemption to the “fucking keeping score” penalty, which can only be removed through the issuance of an apology ticket, redeemable in full in perpetuity or for the duration of the relationship.

        1. AlexinCT

          So much this….

        2. BigT

          This man understands wymen.

      3. Chipwooder

        I went to see Toby Keith once to placate the wife. That was rough.

        She’s always said that she’d go to some show I want in return, but unlike her I have some decency and don’t want to subject her to music she hates. Besides, when she’s not enjoying herself she sucks the fun right out of things.

    6. Pomp

      Neph, you’re a real son of a bitch, did you know that? How could you hate Green Day. They’re single-handedly are responsible for raising the most awareness of the humanitarian crisis in Darfur by sending good feels and self-congratulatory feelgoodism back at themselves years after the really bad shit had already gone down.

    7. AlmightyJB

      Nugent is doing some free show local fair Saturday. I’ll prolly show up. I think it’s a zucchini fest so that should be fun.

    8. DesigNate

      When someone says something about how awesome they are just say “Offspring is better.”

      Plus, they objectively ARE better.

  11. OT: … I was all set to be distraught at a mistake Agatha Christie made. Then I checked my facts. She had the murder weapon as a “Mauser of about .25 caliber” where “all six chambers had been loaded but one fired.” I go and look and Mauser did, in fact, make a 6mm revolver.

    Well played, Agatha.

    1. Vhyrus

      That should have been an easy case to solve since there’s probably all of one of those guns in the entire country.

      1. Oh, the gun was easy to find – but it had been kept in a publically accessable spot in an unlocked building prior to the killing.

        The owner was chastized for leaving it laying on a shelf where anyone could just take it – but has been ruled out as the murderer.

    2. Are you planning on disappearing for 11 days like Agatha?

      1. No, it’s just that the audiobook currently running on my commute is “Murder at the Vicarage”.

        It’s a strangely engrossing yarn full of people I can’t stand.

      2. RAHeinlein

        “An Imaginary Solution” was on recently, but I only caught a portion.

        1. Nitpick: I think you’re referring to the 1979 movie Agatha? I know TCM had it on for the recent Vanessa Redgrave day.

    3. Gray Ghost

      “.25 caliber?” Since a caliber is by definition, 1/100th of an inch, that’s pretty small.

      6mm seems weird for a pistol. 6.35 mm OTOH, was used in more than a few pocket pistols. Just ask Vasily Blokhin.

      1. Actually, it’s not 1/100th of an inch, people just drop the decimal point when speaking. So someone till say “forty-five caliber” when it’s .45 caliber, etc.

        And .25 is an unusual caliber, but not unheard of in pistols.

        1. Vhyrus

          .25 auto is actually quite common and it was almost ubiquitous around the turn of the century.

          1. At the time it was more common – but I don’t think that’s what the revolver was chambered for (Mauser did make a .25 ACP in 1910, but it was an autoloader)

          2. Number.6

            In fact, it’s still a staple in some countries where 9mm is considered ‘dangerous’.

            All those ‘saturday night specials’ that were so demonized in the 70’s and 80’s like the Raven Arms were .25s, and there were (are?) more prestigious brands like Beretta and Walther knocking around.

            At short distance, a 25 is gonna hurt like sumbitch if someone unloads one into you, unless that ‘someone’ knows what he’s doing and then you’re gonna be pushing up the daisies.

        2. SugarFree

          Bond carried a .25 Beretta until readers complained it was a girl-gun.

  12. “Eclipsalypto”

    1. Pomp

      ::polite applause::

      1. Pomp

        Apocalypto is a really great film. I think I might watch that again tonight since the wife is on a biz trip for 2 days. Either that or I’ll watch There Will Be Blood or American Psycho for the umpteenth time.

        Strongly recommend this doozie to anyone that is into nonfiction documentary political thriller material.

    2. bacon-magic

      Ecrippletoe

    3. Fatty Bolger

      If Mel Gibson is directing, I’m in.

      1. bacon-magic

        Who would of ever thought he would direct some great movies? (((Not me))) and I loved most of his characters he played.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Who would have thought Ben Affleck would be a better director than actor? Ok, maybe that ones a low bar to clear.

      2. Pomp

        I was expecting The Passion of the Christ to be stupid bore and a snooze. I was incredibly surprised and very pleased that it ended up being an absurd gore/slasher flick. +1, would watch again

        1. straffinrun

          You weren’t supposed to enjoy it.

          1. Pomp

            Did you watch? I thought it delivers bigtime.

  13. Fatty Bolger

    If you live in the Ohio Valley, the sun may be slightly less visible than usual today for a while. But only slightly.

  14. Gustave Lytton

    Oooooh. Street lights came on.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      And it’s over.

      1. That’s what she said!

    2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      I was really surprised that they did that! For some reason I thought they were on a timer, I didn’t realize they were light based. The totality was super cool.

  15. Vhyrus

    Im in AZ, so I probably won’t notice anything, but I guess I’ll walk outside in a minute and check.

    1. bacon-magic

      In Illinois right now…about a 1/4 of the way currently.

    2. Just remember – look directly into the daystar. If you don’t see anything, keep looking. Soon enough you won’t see anything.

    3. straffinrun

      Razorfist may be slaughtering a goat if you’re lucky.

    4. Vhyrus

      Being a building full of nerds, there were a few people out there and one brought a pair of viewing glasses. With the glasses you can see what looks like a crescent moon, although it’s obviously the sun. Without the glass you can’t even tell there’s anything going on out of the ordinary.

    5. mexican sharpshooter

      Its beginning to pass right now, one of the clinical research nerds set up a viewing station in the parking lot. Kinda cool.

      The not cool part? That guy was paid $88/hr all morning to set up a filtered telescope in the sun instead of, you know, his job.

      1. But Enough About Me

        Got to 88% of totality this morning at 10:21 A.M. in the Lower Rainland™. It was actually a clear sky, so everything got dim enough for me to wonder what the Hell was wrong with my eyes. Used my lightmeter to check the strength of the sun — at 88%, it was at f/8 (ISO 100, 1/60th of a second). Now it’s at F/22. So at 88% of totality, it was 1/8th as bright (approx) as when it’s full.

        Neat.

  16. Akira

    So I’m doing orientation for my new job, which involves filling out a ton of forms. One of them was the I-9 from the Department of Homeland Security. The HR guy said, “where it says birthdate, make sure you put it in mm/dd/yyyy format, because there’s a $500 fine for us if an auditor catches that.”

    Five hundred fucking dollars for a goddamn date in the wrong format?? That’s just one of the million things that make it difficult to run a business and hire employees. It’s frustrating when I hear people say that there aren’t that many regulations and they aren’t that hard and that corporations are just complaining because they’re evil and they want pharmaceutical companies to hire terrorists or something. There are all these little things behind the scenes that make hiring employees like walking through a minefield, and most people aren’t even aware that these regulations exist, yet they have no problem hand-waving away the idea of loosening regulations to make it easier to hire employees (so that they can, ya know, get a paycheck and benefits and all that).

    1. Pomp

      Yep.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      Occasionally somebody tries to tell me that banking is unregulated, and I have to stop myself from laughing right in their face.

      1. Don’t. Just let the laugh out.

        1. Pomp

          ^— This.

      2. Akira

        This new job involves health insurance and the financial aspect of pharmaceutical services, and I have to deal with the same shit. Ninety percent of this job is probably going to be navigating through government regulations, yet at every family gathering, I’m going to hear off-hand comments about how healthcare is “completely unregulated”.

        1. Number.6

          That’s when you need to have a ventolin inhaler handy, so you can go into paroxysms of asthmatic laughter.

        2. Fatty Bolger

          Yep. Did a short stint doing number crunching for a managed care provider and it was a real eye-opener. The entire system is an over regulated mess, and I’m sure it’s only gotten worse since.

        3. R C Dean

          Here in the hospital in-house counsel community, we call that “job security”.

  17. Juvenile Bluster

    THERE’S A DRAGON EATING THE SUN PEOPLE HE ALREADY ATE IT IN OREGON AND HE’S STARTING TO EAT IT IN OTHER PLACES WE’RE ALL DOOMED I’M SO SCARED

    1. Here, drink some booze. When you wake up, you’ll be hungover, but everything will be just fine.

    2. Slammer

      No spoilers, dammit

      1. The dragon gets indigestion and pukes the sun back up in a couple of minutes.

    3. Rasilio

      I thought the Sun people went extinct with the dawning of the age of aquarius?

  18. Yusef drives a Kia

    The Sky is pinkish and the birds have all landed,… and it’s over,

    1. AlmightyJB

      Just heard on radio, I think it was Mark Stein, saying it’s like a beautiful blond being slowly covered by a burka. Lol

    2. straffinrun

      Wink, wink, nudge, nudge

  19. Grumbletarian

    Watched it on the Science channel. The diamond ring effect was neat.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    It’s so hazy/smoky here, it’s hard to even tell anything is happening. A quick peek through my #12 welding lens (darkest one I’ve got) reveals an eclipse in progress. Not full; a bright crescent remains.

    1. Suthenboy

      Much hysteria on the tee vee.

      I pointed out to my wife that we spend half of every 24 hours with a heavenly body between us and the sun. The earth eclipses the sun every day.

      “Oh, you take the fun out of everything! You are a total eclipse of the fun.”

      “Yeah but I am a good cook and…other things.”

      *I made tomato basil soup and grilled cheese with bacon for lunch*

      1. Hammercorps

        Soup from scratch? Sounds pretty damn good. You should write a cookbook.

  21. kinnath

    Fuck Odin.

    Heavy cloud cover. Can’t see a fucking thing.

    1. You know who else relied on heavy cloud cover…

      1. bacon-magic

        Hannibal?

      2. ChipsnSalsa

        YHWH

      3. Suthenboy

        Bass fishermen?

  22. The Other Kevin

    They have TV coverage on in the lunch room here. I think it would be funny if the people on TV started screaming and cut the video feed.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Halfway, presumably. Moon and sun are pretty much aligned on vertical axis.

    I just hope the buffalo in the park are all freaking out and flipping cars over.

    *Fuck you, Nature Channel. They’ll always be buffalo to me.

    1. Chipwooder

      Here here! Bison, my ass.

  24. Suthenboy

    thread fail. ugh.

    Much hysteria on the tee vee.

    I pointed out to my wife that we spend half of every 24 hours with a heavenly body between us and the sun. The earth eclipses the sun every day.

    “Oh, you take the fun out of everything! You are a total eclipse of the fun.”

    “Yeah but I am a good cook and…other things.”

    *I made tomato basil soup and grilled cheese with bacon for lunch*

    1. Aside from tomato and basil, what goes into the soup?

      1. Suthenboy

        Cream, pinch of salt and a small dash of flour. Thats it. Tomato soup should be simple as should grilled cheese. A little cheddar, a little swiss and three crispy slices of bacon – sandwich fried in butter to a crispy golden brown.

        It was yummy.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Ironically (maybe?) thread fail on a P Brooks started thread.

      You brought enough for everyone, correct?

    3. Slammer

      It’s Suthen, probably squirrel brains or somesuch

      1. Suthenboy

        You are never going to get over that, are you?

  25. robc

    Took the day off work. Traveling to my back yard where we will get about 90 seconds of totality.

    1. robc

      approaching half way eaten at this point.

      1. robc

        heat from sun is noticably less. grass isnt hot on my bare feet.

        1. Pomp

          Placebo effect? Confirmation bias?

          1. robc

            less direct sunlight on a bright day.

        2. robc

          first totality I have ever seen, that was pretty cool.

          1. Number.6

            Meh. There’ll be another one around in 40 years or so, if you’re patient.

          2. robc

            7 years if I drive 2 hrs. Paducah is the intwrsection pt of this one and that one.

          3. Fatty Bolger

            Or in just a couple of years if you’re mobile.

          4. Number.6

            This one – particularly ‘meh’.

            Long sausage of thick cloud obscuring the sun. You know what though?

            If i wake up in the morning and the street isn’t covered in gay frogs or fake mana, I guess we’ll be OK despite the Trumpocalypse.

          5. How about gay mana and fake frogs?

          6. Number.6

            Then we shall know for sure that the end times are here.

  26. Hyperion

    It’s sunny here with no clouds at all. But all we get is a partial. The highlight will be waiting to see if the Mexican landscapers all get frightened and run away.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      They’ll appreciate the shade.

      1. “Is night time jefe, I’m going home.”

      2. Hyperion

        They’ll wake up and think their siesta went long.

    2. R C Dean

      Crystal clear in Tucson. Mrs. Dean and I watched it with eclipse glasses. Only 2/3 totality, but still pretty cool.

  27. Saw a partial through some cloud coverage. Yay.

    Michigan only gets 70% effect – due in another few minutes.

  28. CPRM

    It’s behind a cloud which is behind the top of a pine tree. Just seems like it’s overcast.

    1. CPRM

      The animals are all quiet, except the crickets. Odd, like I said it’s only like it’s overcast, but I guess the animals feel there is something odd.

      1. R C Dean

        The quality of the light was different.

        Yesterday was overcast, today was clear. It was brighter than the overcast, but . . . . different.

        1. kinnath

          The world goes dim. Not dark like at sunset. It just gets dimmer and dimmer.

          1. BakedPenguin

            Same here in Central Florida. Dimmer than usual, and the quality of the light is odd.

          2. BakedPenguin

            Oops, no that’s just the clouds getting thiccer.

  29. Rasilio

    Fire Lord Trump will be helpless in about 20 minutes, is everyone ready to invade the Fire Nation?

    1. Why? There will be contingency plans in place.

    2. Number.6

      That’s an interesting point.

      Trump is still a Nazi. Will he be rebranded as as idiot savant AND, simultaneously as an evil supergenius the way Bush II was?

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      Depends. Anyone know the location of the Avatar?

      1. Will the Avatar of Khaine suffice?

      2. Gadfly

        Probably still frozen in the artic, the stupid kid.

      3. antisthenes

        Britannia?

    4. Mythical Libertarian Woman

      I hurt myself laughing at that. Hope you’re happy.

  30. Hyperion

    I saw a total in the 90s, so this isn’t too exciting. Wife is all hyped up so guess we have to go outside for a while. Looks to be about 30% right now, but I think it gets to around 80% here at 2:40-45 EST.

    1. Number.6

      We’ll have about 70% occlusion. I have an office full of dimwit drone cow orkers who all want to rush out into the street to watch it, despite us being in Midtown Manhattan on the 26th floor.

      “Guys, just look out the window, down towards Battery Park. You can’t miss it, it’s a huge fucking glowing ball, and it’s still the brightest thing in the solar system”.

      1. wdalasio

        True. But, the eclipse does give a semi-plausible excuse to go outside for another cigarette.

      2. Hyperion

        I hate cow orkers, how do you put up with them? Anyway, snark aside, they won’t see anything without a lens. I took several shots with wife’s cell phone, just looks like the sun on a normal day. You need a filter to cut out the glare.

        1. Number.6

          That was my parting shot before they all decamped. Watch it thru’ your smartphone set with manual exposure.

        2. Chipwooder

          Cow orkers? Are they the people who are sheetcaking?

          1. Hyperion

            Orking cows is a hate crime.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    I guess I could look down the hill and see if there have been any train derailments or other calamities brought on by the harbinger of the End Times.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Fire Lord Trump will be helpless in about 20 minutes, is everyone ready to invade the Fire Nation?

    I prefer to think of him coming on every single channel on the teevee like Lex Luthor, to make a ransom demand.

    “If you want to see the sun again….”

  33. John Titor

    We’re only getting a small partial over here in Ontario, and I don’t have googles anyway. Was out half-looking at it right now outside, looked over to see a black guy smoking and half-paying attention to it too.

    Said to him “you know the Americans think you don’t exist.” He says “What?” and I explain to him the articles about how the eclipse is happening all over ‘white America’. He just shakes his head and goes “Frigging Americans…” and keeps smoking.

    #CanadianBonding.

  34. The Other Kevin

    It was about 90% here in Indiana. Someone had some welding glass and that worked great. It’s not that dark, just looks like a storm is coming.

    1. Fatty Bolger

      Same here. Just looks like it might rain. Big meh.

      1. Suthenboy

        I prefer the sun be occluded by rain clouds. It’s fuckin’ hot as hell out there.

  35. Juvenile Bluster

    We had extra pairs of eclipse glasses. My wife just texted me this after she picked our kid up from school. This is probably grounds for divorce, isn’t it.

    I gave away the extra pairs of glasses in front of the school. People were offering me money but I said no.

    1. Pomp

      Depends. You looking for an excuse to get divorced?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        I texted her back with “What kind of wife of a libertarian Jew are you?”. She told me she was going to make that joke if I didn’t.

    2. Number.6

      You could have charged at least 4 orphans and a monocle for it!

  36. Gray Ghost

    Oh, someone in the Morning Links was asking about the Fitzgerald collision, and whether we knew anything more about it. The Secretary of Navy released a preliminary report with quite a bit of info. http://www.secnav.navy.mil/foia/readingroom/HotTopics/USS%20Fitzgerald/Supplemental%20Inquiry%20USS%20Fitzgerald.pdf

    1. Gilmore

      tl;dr they was drunk

    2. RAHeinlein

      13 minutes from collision to GQ, and only then because the DCA was awakened by the collision alarm, went to CCS and sounded GQ.

  37. american socialist

    Our press are such clowns. They reported today the secret service was out of money cause trump. Here is secret service statement

    https://mobile.twitter.com/Jordanfabian/status/899653297551880192

    1. Hyperion

      If it were true, that’s Trump + 1.

    2. Suthenboy

      Yeah I got that too from CNN.

      They are so fucking slimy, dishonest and unhinged I wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t trying to encourage any Hodgkinsons out there.

      1. Hyperion

        So, my guess is, if Trump says he’s pulling completely out of Afghanistan, CNN and all the left media will go completely hysterical and say he’s putting us in danger. If Trump says we’re staying and adding more troops, CNN and all the left media will go completely hysterical and say he’s putting us in danger.

        Did I miss anything there?

        1. Number.6

          The net-neutral decision. Trump keeps troop levels identical. Women and children hardest hit.

        2. Suthenboy

          I think that sums it up nicely. There is no point in paying attention to anything they say. They have zero credibility as far as I am concerned.

          We have straight-up violent communist agitators making unprovoked attacks on random people in the streets attempting to spark some kind of revolution and we get crickets from the MSM. All we hear about is Trump’s collusion with the lizard people, racist eclipses, and statues of nazis from the civil war.

          That’s fine. While they run around chasing the laser spot Trump is dismantling the global warming scam and killing an average of 6 regulations per day.

    3. Brasidas

      Couldn’t they just have a counterfeiter cut them in? Who is going to stop them?

  38. They were actually giving glasses away here at work. It got to 89% occluded – kind of cool.

  39. Hyperion

    Wow, that was extremely lame. If you didn’t look at it through a lens, you would have never known there was an eclipse. The total one I saw, it got pitch dark outside and chilly with the wind picking up. This one was bullshit! It didn’t even scare the Mexicans! LAME!

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      *wakes up*

      Did someone say Mexicans? Meh.

      *goes back to sleep*

      1. Hyperion

        You missed nothing.

    2. Chipwooder

      Eh……without glasses, you could tell something was off. It wasn’t that dark, like a stormy sky day, but what made it weird was that there was still a lot of glare reflected off windows and such.

  40. Winston

    70% reduction for me. The only thing I noticed was that direct sunlight wasn’t very hot.

  41. Brasidas

    So if Musk wants to set up a giant sheet of Mylar at the Earth-Sun L1 point, I would be fine with that. It felt really nice with 90-something percent of the sun blocked.

    Not responsible for environmental catastrophe.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Oh without a doubt. We had about 80% in Fort Lauderdale, but there was a definite temperature drop.

  42. Winston

    Re: Trump turning Charlottesville into a statue issue. Well the first response of Lexington was to take down statues before Trump said anything. And anyone remember how very quickly Dylann Roof was forgotten in favor of banning the Confederate Battle Flag? Not even gun control was on the agenda. So Trump didn’t need any master manipulation powers to change the debate, assuming that is what she was complaining about.

    1. american socialist

      I would say he did when he has the left defending violence of antifa. Agreed with your point on statues but I think wash and Jeff he is egging them on to go farther

    2. Hyperion

      It was never about statues anyway. Now they’re already attacking Lincoln and Columbus statues. But it’s western culture, the US Constitution, and capitalism that they’re after.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Wait, Lincoln statues? What’s making the left turn on Lincoln? Besides that he was a Republican.

        Classical liberals have much more reason to look poorly upon Lincoln than progressives.

        1. american socialist

          He didn’t free slaves on day 1

        2. Hyperion

          Because they’re morons.

        3. John Titor

          If I had to guess, maybe the whole thing about how he wanted to ship the blacks out to Liberia after the civil war was over because they’re incapable with America or something. There’s an argument that his view may have shifted with time, but he was still having meetings with black ‘ship’em back to Africa’ groups up until his assassination, so…

          1. John Titor

            *Incompatible goddammit.

          2. Suthenboy

            Yes he was. Kinda funny but JWB should be a hero in the AA community.

            My understanding is that Lincoln was about two weeks away from signing an EO to send all of them back when a small piece of lead cut that plan short.

          3. John Titor

            Naw, if Lincoln sent them all back to Liberia they’d have turned it into a paradise by now, and they’d be KANGS N SHIT.

        4. one true athena

          I think y’all give the torcher too much credit. It was probably nothing more than “Famous White Person Statue” and they didn’t even know who it was. or care. It was the vandalism they were after. Maybe, they knew “this dude was in the Civil War, he’s baaad” and that’s it, but I suspect we’ll get a lot of vandalism of all statuary because once you say vandalism is okay, scumbags will do it.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    They reported today the secret service was out of money cause trump. Here is secret service statement

    My reaction was to think maybe the “level of preparedness” is ridiculous overkill excessive.

  44. Winston

    http://reason.com/blog/2017/08/18/white-supremacy-is-a-dead-end-for-white

    Bit odd to see Reason saying that you better conform lest be ostracized and blacklisted even it is for being a neo-nazi.

    Also I thought Reason didn’t like it when POTUS made statements, especially condemnatory ones, on every supposedly pressing issue?

    1. Hyperion

      Forget it. Reason has went full on prog, they’re dead to me.

      1. Suthenboy

        ^This^

        A Reason article applauding attacks on free speech. They are a disgrace.

    2. Vhyrus

      The fact that they include Milo (a fucking gay Brit) in that list shows how absolutely clueless they are.

      1. John Titor

        That’s been Reason’s MO for months, throw Milo into some idiotic category of neofascist wrongthinker while never actually pointing out what he’s saying that’s so evil. Until of course the pedophilia smear, and then they tear into him with the rest of their media tribe.

        It’s blatantly transparent agitprop.

        1. R C Dean

          Until of course the pedophilia smear,

          Seriously? That’s pretty much the ur-smear of gay men since forever. Did Reason really go there?

          Have they gone after Ivanka yet for eating matzoh made with the blood of gentile babies? Because that’s pretty much on the same level.

          1. John Titor

            That was the big charge by the media after Milo made a few dumb, obviously coping jokes about his own experience of being molested (i.e. ‘I wouldn’t give such great head because of it’) and some off-hand arguments about age of consent. Media smelled blood in the water months after the fact and piled on him, Reason was just following the trend. But for months before that they were whining about the ‘horrible’ things Milo said without ever actually stating or addressing them. It was some pretty pathetic virtue signalling horseshit.

          2. John

            And Reason has always been a big critic of the age of consent laws and how they are too high and often trap people having consensual sex. That is all Milo did. Understand Milo never had sex with a teenager. He had sex with an adult when he was a teenager and said it was a good experience and often is for other people. And that is exactly what Reason’s position has always been.

            It is pretty rich for them to now drop the “he is a pedo” bomb on Milo for taking a position reason has consistently held over the years.

          3. R C Dean

            It is pretty rich for them to now drop the ___________ bomb on __________ for taking a position reason has consistently held over the years.

            Lot of options for filling in those blanks, I’m afraid.

    3. Raston Bot

      can’t tell if Riggs is admiring the blacklist or just observing it.

      and let’s note that Cloudflare also kicked off Ghostgunner and Hatreon. Cody Wilson called out their CEO over it. guess once the principles are gone, then why bother maintaining any kind of facade.

      1. John

        And of course, he is too stupid to realize that it won’t stop with “white supremacy”. Once the SJWs set the precedent that it is okay to kick someone off the internet for wrong think, they will move on to other targets and it will be just a matter of time before they are going after Riggs and those like him.

    4. bacon-magic

      Only person that has a list around here is Winston’s mom.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        are you missing a “long” in that statement?

        1. bacon-magic

          My mistake. sighs…*summons tempestuous edit faeries*

  45. american socialist

    The tales of our president

    1. Racist and misogynistic pre nov2016
    2. Putin puppet and colluder nov to march 2017
    3. Insane and dementia April and may
    4. Puppet of Putin half way thru may to end of June
    5. Puppet of Putin in July and first half august
    6. Nazi and kkk member to present

    1. Winston

      Why would a Nazi and kkk member let his daughter marry one of (((them))) and let her convert and allow said son-in-law a major role in his campaign?

      1. american socialist

        And be such pro Israel..it is all a ruse!

        Also his energy policies like drill baby drill and exporting lng and coal to Europe is totally helping vlad

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        It’s all part of the conspiracy. Kushner’s going to be the first one in the concentration camps that Trump’s secretly building.

      3. Number.6

        (((gold))) of course!

      4. John Titor

        As I was informed by crazy people on a subway yelling at a latino with a MAGA hat, they’re all Judenrat collaborators obviously.

  46. american socialist

    Can’t wait til press blames global warming for navy collisions since ya know more ice bergs

    1. Suthenboy

      The sea level rise means all of the navigational maps are changed.

  47. Fatty Bolger

    I did it! I survived the eclipse! Woo-hoo! Take that, you bastards!!!

  48. Winston

    So Trump might increase troops in Afghanistan. Well fuck. Should have known when Bannon left. That being said I wonder if this will cause the Nazi-kkk stuff to be forgotten but the MSN is incredibly shameless…

    1. american socialist

      I am kind of a mixed bag here. On one hand I think you should cut losses but on other I don’t want it to turn it into an isis type playground

      It would be kind of a dick move to just pull out and let their citizens get fucked due to us causing issue in first place by not playing to win.

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        It would be kind of a dick move to just pull out and let their citizens get fucked due to us causing issue in first place by not playing to win.

        There’s no way to win down there. Citizens of Afghanistan are fucked whether we’re there or not.

        1. american socialist

          True. But this was a bad hand after multiple screw ups to begin with. I can’t fault which direction I suppose

          Just pulling out I think means we will be back in there bigly by next potus

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            And then if we go in bigly we’re fucked because we’ll never be able to leave then.

            Bush screwed up Afghanistan horribly. Obama completed it. It doesn’t matter who’s President now or what he does with Afghanistan. It’s going to be fucked up.

          2. american socialist

            True. I just propose using of the MOaBs and with holding money from Pakistan until they go after

          3. John Titor

            You don’t know how Pakistan operates in the tribal autonomous zones. Withholding money to the Pakistani government isn’t going to stop their military officials in the region from accepting bribe money.

            MOABs are flashy but not as protective as methods that would actually be more successful, which would include doing things the U.S. just isn’t willing to do, like taking over the opium trade, which has basically been square one since day one.

          4. John Titor

            *productive, goddamn John-os.

          5. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Just pulling out I think means we will be back in there bigly by next potus

            True. It’s sad how predictable that is.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      The press will suddenly rediscover the war in Afghanistan (which is good) but will pretend that it had ended under Obama, and Trump started it back up again on his own.

  49. John

    https://pjmedia.com/blog/liveblogevent/mondays-hot-mic-20/entry-212394/

    BLM member tells Antifa to take their masks off and get out of his city. They punch him and accuse him of being a cop.

    Antifa is full-on retarded. They are too emotional and too stupid to ever be a threat to do anything except embarrass anyone dumb enough to support them.

    1. Hyperion

      Huh, was it even a week ago when I predicted that BLM and antifa will be beating each other’s heads in before long? No one can stand to be around antifa, not even BLM. These are monkeys who throw urine at people.

    2. Raston Bot

      Antifa leaders admit they’re willing to physically attack anyone who employs violence against them or who condones racism—as long as force is used in the name of eradicating hatred

      that’s a pretty significant *OR* in there. they’re violent with people who are first violent with them OR non-violent people who just happen to have icky thoughts.

      that makes them violent. CNN can change the headline all they like.

      1. Raston Bot

        oops! supposed to in response to the Benny Johnson tweet wrt CNN changing the headline.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Thoughts *are* violence when antifa considers them doubleplusungood.

      3. Suthenboy

        Jake Tapper said they didn’t change the headline. They totally didn’t.

  50. Chipwooder

    One Jeet Heer is apparently an editor at The New Republic, and he was quite triggered by this eminently sensible statement:

    Josh Hammer
    ‎@josh_hammer

    Don’t defend the alt-right.

    Don’t defend Antifa.

    Sincerely,
    Sane people

    11:40 PM – Aug 19, 2017

    To this, Jeet responded:

    Jeet Heer
    ‎@HeerJeet

    Imagine being so addicted to glib both-sides-ism that that you don’t understand unique dangers Nazis pose to humanity.

    5:59 PM – Aug 20, 2017

    This degenerated into a series of comments that would embarrass the hell out of a better man, but not ol’ Jeet. Example:

    Jeet Heer
    ‎@HeerJeet

    Nope, your glib formulation implies an equality between alt-right & antifa which only a moral idiot would accept.

    6:05 PM – Aug 20, 2017

    And then, Jeet bottomed out by engaging in some 4th grade level dialogue with Ben Shapiro:

    Jeet Heer
    ‎@HeerJeet

    You peaked when you were a professional virgin.

    12:13 PM – Aug 21, 2017

    1. John Titor

      “OMG, you guys, there’s a couple hundred white nationalist shitbags in our country of a third of a billion!” *Fainting couch* …and that’s why we should ignore or justify random assaults on people by shitbags.”

      -The current media establishment, or why I haven’t been reading anything on C-ville for the past couple days.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      you don’t understand unique dangers Nazis pose to humanity.

      The prog mind really IS trapped in the 1930’s, isn’t it?

    3. R C Dean

      The German national socialists were Nazis. The German international socialists (whose flag antifa has adopted, which should give you a clue) were commies.

      Both flavors of socialists ran up body counts in the millions.

      I’m comfortable saying both flavors are evil and should be condemned. Why are you so hung up on not condemning one flavor of socialist, Jeet?

      1. american socialist

        If you read the American nazi party page in environment and economy it is a progressive wet dream

        They are === aryan racist progressives

        1. antisthenes

          So, pretty much like the majority of SJWs?

    4. Gadfly

      …unique dangers Nazis pose to humanity.

      Evidence of an ignorant mind. For all their evil, the Nazis were anything but unique. Countless societies across the globe throughout history have done or attempted to do everything they did. Heck, another nation was doing essentially the same thing at the same time. The only aspects of their crimes that could be considered “unique” were that they brought to bear the classic Germanic efficiency and that they were dressed like a boss.

    5. antisthenes

      Look, if we don’t stop these white trash losers now, who knows how much power they might get? Could we ever tolerate any course of events that might result in nuclear weapons falling into the hands of a regime that openly declares its desire for (((genocide)))?

  51. Michael

    The thing popping up on social media now is “HURR STOOPID TRUMP LOKED AT EKLIPZ WIT NO SPESHUL GLASSES ON DURRR HURR”, immediately followed by, “Oh, wait. He did actually wear protective glasses.”

    Remember, progs – every little victory counts!

    1. thepasswordispassword

      He took a peek unprotected. And I’m quite sure a number of other people did exactly the same thing.

      1. Tundra

        The swastikas protect his eyes, of course.

        1. american socialist

          Lol

        2. F. Stupidity Jr.

          MWA HA HAAAAAA!

      2. I did. I’m going to drive home by feel.

        1. Fatty Bolger

          Hoo-ah!

      3. Number.6

        I had to explain this to the ‘orkers. During an eclipse, the sun is hitting you with photons of exactly the same energy, but less of them than before or after the eclipse.

        The only difference being that idiots stare at the sun. Whether it’s occluded by the moon or not. Normal people who glance at the sun for a few seconds have been doing it most of their lives, and haven’t blinded themselves*.

        *I have moral standing here, with a laser-scarred retina.

        1. Right? It’s not like the sun becomes a fucking gorgon when the moon gets in a certain position. “I fucking love science!” === “Science is magic!”

  52. Bob

    I live in the center. 2:40 of totality. Weird, looked like Armageddon.

    1. R C Dean

      That’s not much time to get a cannibal rape gang organized.

      1. Raston Bot

        certainly not with that defeatist attitude.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        August 12, 2045 there’s going to be a total eclipse across the US that’s going to peak in South Florida and the Bahamas. 6 full minutes of Florida Man Total Solar Eclipse in some places.

          1. Number.6

            Dear gawd.

            I imagined that was going to be the picture I would see, before I even clicked on it.

            Get outta mah fuckin’ head!

          2. Fatty Bolger

            Hieronymus Bosch is the shit.

        1. BigT

          April 8, 2024 totality due here in CLE.

          It’s my wife’s XXth birthday. Parteeeee!

          1. 20th? Woah. You live in Alabama?

          2. BigT

            I told her to get the L out

          3. R C Dean

            My brother lives in the path of totality for that one (unless he moves in the next seven years). I’m going to make an effort to get to see that one as a total eclipse – hopefully, I can just mooch off of him.

    2. Winston

      You didn’t want to miss a thing?

      1. Winston

        Epi has a sad.

    3. Raven Nation

      We got about 90 secs through some hazy cloud. Still very cool.

  53. Juvenile Bluster

    CEO of Goldman Sachs

    Lloyd Blankfein‏Verified account @lloydblankfein

    Wish the moon wasn’t the only thing casting a shadow across the country. We got through one, we’ll get through the other. #SolarEclipse2017

    (I assume he meant to say wish the moon “was”, otherwise this doesn’t make sense)

    1. american socialist

      The CEO of Goldman Sachs is a person I look up to for morals and values

    2. R C Dean

      Tweet that back to him:

      “Yo, Master of the Universe. Pretty sure you botched your tweet. Hope you meant to say the moon “was” the only thing, etc. #DumberThanHeLooks”

      1. I think he meant “covfefe”.

    3. Bob

      Deep man… that really makes you think.

    4. John Titor

      Well of course he was referring to that line in the communist manifesto, what with the violent communists in the streets.

  54. american socialist

    THe only people who think America is in dark days are rich leftie doofuses

  55. BigT

    Used binoculars to project eclipse on paper. Great!

    Looked at eclipse through binocs – now blind. F@ck!

  56. KibbledKristen

    Lookit this fuckin’ nerd

      1. KibbledKristen

        It was bears posing next to A380s, in stereoscope. Pretty amazing!

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Don’t be so hard on yourself, Kristen. That’s clearly dork behavior.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        She is wearing a jacket with stars and moons and a shirt with constellations. Pretty nerdy. What were the socks?

        1. KibbledKristen

          Gimmie a break! Strappy sandals, no socks.

        2. R C Dean

          I thought the Iridium badge dangler was a nice touch.

    1. Vhyrus

      Sucks that I used to live right there. Course getting to see it would have meant still living there, so overall I think I came out on top.

  57. That was…kind of a letdown, actually. I didn’t have glasses so I did the pinhole paper thing and the bit where you look at the sun coming down through the leaves of a tree. It was neat I guess, but if it hadn’t been hyped up so much I’d just have assumed that a storm was coming.

    1. R C Dean

      There’s a big difference between partial and total eclipses. Even for a total eclipse, though, the hype was kinda silly. But, that’s the age we live in, I suppose – lunging from one hysterical overreaction to the next.

      1. Yeah, I remember when I was a teen Hawaii was in the path of a total eclipse, IIRC, and I could imagine seeing a total eclipse on a little island in the Pacific would be a pretty profound event. Anywhere, I suppose, but for peak “end of days” flavor I’d think that would be a good spot.

        1. one true athena

          My husband was just telling everybody the story of when he went to his aunt’s in Hilo back then to see the eclipse and since it was cloudy where they were, he decided to drive to a clearer spot. He invited his aunt and uncle if they wanted to come with and they were meh so he went himself, drove like a maniac to find clear enough sky, but did get to see it.

    2. And now it’s actually going to storm. I looked out the window and for a second I thought there was like a second round of eclipse.

  58. F. Stupidity Jr.

    It’s 3:05. I’m guessing the Afternoon Links got eclipsed.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      There’s gonna be a riot!

    2. BakedPenguin

      They hired Robby to do them.

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      Did Brett get freaked out by the Eclipse?

  59. The Late P Brooks

    Imagine being so addicted to glib both-sides-ism that that you don’t understand unique dangers Nazis pose to humanity.

    As opposed to the utterly mundane danger posed by Stalinism.

    1. R C Dean

      The Natzees posed a unique danger to humanity for about 10 years. The commies are working on their hundredth year and counting. Still, count on a (((banker))) to make excuses for the commies, amirite?

      1. antisthenes

        I’m not sure what was unique about totalitarianism or mass murder (or even genocide, specifically)? Maybe that they married evil with a sense of style, as opposed to the drab, gray totalitarianism and mass murder of the Communists?

        1. Akira

          Here are the two excuses that I’ve heard for the staggering death tolls of communism:

          1) “Communism was designed with good intentions in mind; they just wanted to end poverty and oppression. Unfortunately, the wrong people got in charge and strayed from true communist principles.”

          2) “Most of those deaths were unintentional, like from disease, starvation, or exposure. It wasn’t industrial-scale mass murder like what the Nazis were doing!!”

          1. R C Dean

            Unfortunately, the wrong people got in charge and strayed from true communist principles

            “Funny how that happens every single time. Seem like the Precautionary Principle would tell us to stay the hell away from communism, wouldn’t it?”

            Most of those deaths were unintentional, like from disease, starvation, or exposure.

            “Read a fucking book. Those deaths were also mostly intentional. Besides, I doubt anyone who froze to death while starving ever thought “Oh, well, their intentions were good.”

      2. Chipwooder

        Natzee – worst Milton Bradley game ever

        1. F. Stupidity Jr.

          I rolled a one, a four, and two eights.

        2. BakedPenguin

          I can imagine the commercial.

          BOY “Look Mommy, I invaded Russia and started a holocaust!”

          Mother looks down, smiles, and ruffles boy’s hair.

          1. Dr. Fronkensteen

            Darn, I rolled boxcars.

    2. Sargon of Akkad did a bit in his most recent “This Week in Stupid” about how the real, actual Nazis didn’t exist in Germany until the real, actual German Communists started attacking the conservatives and nationalists, who subsequently formed the Freikorps, a militia group, to defend themselves, who eventually became the brown shirts.

  60. american socialist

    But CNN said they only go after nazis and kkk!

    https://mobile.twitter.com/asymmetricinfo/status/899287835693514754

    1. R C Dean

      Cue demand that pro-choicers disavow antifa . . . .

      Oh, who am I kidding.

    2. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Reason needs to swap Peter, two writers to be named later, and a 2019 second-rounder for Megan.

    3. Pro-lifers have killed affordable access to health and reproductive care in many areas. Thought police. Really.

      I’m pro-choice, and people like this make me want to join a pro-life protest. Anything the left gets involved with it turns into a big fat socialist free shit party. This stupid cunt is actually trying to justify literal Antifa violence because of her creative use of metaphor. I don’t support political violence, but I do think that stupid people who insist on being stupid at other people should be eaten by bears.

      1. BakedPenguin

        That made me think of this.

      2. Number.6

        Speaking of bears, is Jesse on vacay at the moment?

        1. BigT

          Jesse is on a long road trip IIRC

  61. The Late P Brooks

    As gadfly pointed out above, if the Nazis were unique, it was because they brought Teutonic efficiency to bear on the “problem” of wholesale eradication of their enemies, to which I would add, “and diligent detailed recordkeeping.” It’s one thing to kill a bunch of peasants and bury them en masse; it’s another entirely to fastidiously record their names, addresses, and the contents of their pockets.