Week 1 College Football Preview

The real season starts this week, with mostly a whole bunch of crappy games against FCS teams. But there are some good ones too.

Dubious Rivalry of the Week

Vanderbilt @ Middle Tennessee State, Murfreesboro, TN

Vandy leads the all time series 14-3, winning the first 12 between 1915 and 1956. MTSU followed with a 3 game win streak from 2001 to 2005 before the Commodores won the last 2 years. This will only be Vanderbilt’s 3rd trip out to the suburbs, as most of the series has been played in Nashville.

Tailgate of the Week

LSU vs BYU, Houston, TX New Orleans, LA

This game has been moved due to sloopy spilling a Big Gulp outside his home, or something like that. Speaking of sloopy, here is my required link: [insert atrocity here]

Never bet against LSU on the tailgate. They know what they are doing. And now they are doing it on relatively home turf. On the other side, a BYU tailgate sounds awful. So hang out with the LSU guys.

Beer: Dixie got wiped out by Katrina and has been struggling along contract brewing since. The Saints owner has recently bought them and is rebuilding in New Orleans. Drink a Blackened Voodoo to celebrate.

Booze: Hurricane

2 oz light rum
2 oz dark rum
2 oz passion fruit juice
1 oz orange juice
Juice of ½ lime
1 tbsp simple syrup
1 tbsp grenadine

Shake over ice, strain into Hurricane glass. Garnish with fruity bits.

 

Game of the Century of the Week

West Virginia vs Virginia Tech, Landover, MD (Sunday)

What, you were expecting something else? This game will decide once and for all which is worse: West Virginia or Western Virginia. Let the redneckery begin!

Homer section, with bonus history

Georgia Tech vs Tennessee, Atlanta, GA (Monday)

This is a neutral site game, no really, stop laughing. It will be the first real game in the new Mercedes Benz Stadium downtown. The Falcons have played an exhibition and there has been soccer and I understand some lower division teams are playing there on Saturday, but those don’t count.

Bobby Dodd was a QB great at UT under coach General Neyland, for whom their stadium is named. Bobby Dodd coached at GT from 1945 to 1966 and continued as AD after that. And our stadium is named for him. His long running feud with Bear Bryant led directly to GT leaving the SEC and foreshadowed oversigning arguments of today. As AD he nearly destroyed GT athletics, but in retirement he made one final great decision. In 1986, Coach Bill Curry was offered the Alabama job and asked Dodd (who he had played for) for advice. Dodd told him to take the job. This led directly to Tech winning the national title in 1990 and Alabama sliding into a tailspin. One last dagger into the Bear!

Nothing really changed with the Top 25 with so few games, will update it next week. Plus, I think I found a bug in it.

Comments

237 responses to “Week 1 College Football Preview”

  1. jesse.in.mb

    Pigskin is not kosher or vegetarian! (((OMWC))) is othered!

  2. Florida Man

    I’m outraged there is a sportzball article! What am I supposed to do? Keep my mouth shut and only read the articles that interest me?!?
    /throws trash can into street

    1. robc

      just skip down to the recipe.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Football nachos?

      2. westernsloper

        Smoked wings with a sweet Louisiana/Chipotle Adobo sauce that will make your toes curl. That is my football food.

        1. RBS

          Do you mean sweet like awesome or sweet like candy?

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Sweet like a young teenage boy getting out of the swimming pool, if I understand correctly.

          2. RBS

            Sooooo…candy?

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Yeppers

          4. jesse.in.mb

            Is this playing through your head now? It should be.

          5. Gustave Lytton

            Wow. Mandy Moore looks a lot younger than I remember (like when that song first came out).

          6. westernsloper

            Sweet as an initial impression of sweet on top of smoke that is part of the crispy wing, and then hitting with Louisiana with some molasses and brown sugar but finishes with adobo that requires a nice pull on your beer and a napkin. I have not met anyone who does brunch cocktails with football. No offense to robc. I try not to judge.

          7. robc

            If you start ypur tailgate early enough, they ate appropriate.

          8. robc

            By midafternoon, you should have switched to straight bourbon.

          9. westernsloper

            Ok fair enough. I had not thought of that. Hurricanes as the grill warms up. I am down with that.

      3. Made This tonight with home grown Thai chilis and “holy” basil, very hot, not chug a gallon of milk hot, more like change your shirt hot, my ear lobes were sweating.

        1. westernsloper

          That is very similar to something I cook almost every week. I don’t do the rice though. 99% of my meals are in a tortilla. Corn. Cooked half crisp. Tacos are gods gift to all food and all food should be a taco or a variation there of. The little Thai like chilis in my garden are doing great and super hot. I neglected my basil though. I let it go to bud and it is ruined. I suck at basil.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          My wife made khao man gai tonight, but her pad krapow doesn’t have 2 tablespoons of chopped bird chilies, I’ll tell you that.

          Think more ten actual full peppers.

          1. Hyperion

            Is she Thai? Sorry I can’t remember. My wife has a Thai friend who made some type of spring roll that was seriously the hottest thing I’ve ever tried to eat.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Yes, my wife is Thai and went to culinary school in Bangkok.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Three words: Crying Tiger Steak.

          4. Hyperion

            “Crying Tiger Steak.”

            That looks seriously fucking great.

          5. SIV

            Can the Missus carve all the elaborate garnishes?

          6. Hyperion

            “Can the Missus carve all the elaborate garnishes?”

            Shutup, Tulpa.

          7. I’d hazard a guess that steak would taste better if it were marinated longer than just for the prep time of the dipping sauce.

          8. Heroic Mulatto

            @SIV

            Yes. One of her specialties is fruit and vegetable carving.

          9. Heroic Mulatto

            @Pomp

            In this dish the emphasis is on the flavor of the jaew.

          10. Timeloose

            Wow. Thai food can be hot, but they can make some great flavor combinations.

          11. @HM I make a dipping sauce similar to this with no fixed recipe to pair with pork chops marinated for no less than 8 hours in fish sauce, sugar, and lemongrass then grilled over fire. I prefer deep marinade most times, unless I’m going for delicate seasoning that aims to focus on accentuating the meat flavour of the cut itself.

            I’ve never thought of using toasted rice powder and thin slice fresh Thai peppers. The jaew sauce looks delightful.

          12. and thin slice fresh Thai peppersscallions

          13. Heroic Mulatto

            @Pomp

            Yes, toasted rice powder (khao khua) is de rigueur in the cooking from my wife’s region.

          14. Think more ten actual full peppers.

            Yeah, I used maybe 8 and threw in a serrano just cause it was sitting there.

        3. Old Man With Candy

          Chef John would be horrified at the number of fans he has here.

          1. DOOMco

            is there a word for horrified and honored?

      4. just skip down to the recipe.

        Another god damn recipe!!?!? I want my money back.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Sure. But you’re going to have to follow a recipe, fishballs.

          1. Those balls are curried.

    2. trshmnstr

      /throws trash can into street

      THAT IS MY HOME, SIR!!

  3. Trials and Trippelations

    Is that Duke in the main page picture?

  4. Hyperion

    Foozball again. OT hijack marathon!

    1. RBS

      How is that different than any other thread?

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Don’t worry, Hyp. Nobody is going to judge you for your low T.

      1. Hyperion

        Hey, I watch REAL foozball.

  5. westernsloper

    The real season starts this week, with mostly a whole bunch of crappy games against FCS teams.

    *Raises hand (which apparently is now a Seig Heil under any circumstance) What is the FCS?

    1. robc

      Football Championship Subdivsion. Formerly Div 1AA.

      As opposed to FBS, football bowl subdivision, formerly Div 1A.

    2. Trials and Trippelations

      JV college football

    3. RBS

      FCS=Formerly Division 1-AA. It’s basically the smaller schools that take football seriously.

    4. The former 1-AA.

    5. Drake

      There are two schools in D 1 who have never played a single game against a Division 2 / FCS team.

      1. robc

        Notre Dame and USC, right?

        1. Drake

          Exactly. I went to USC and respect Norte Dame for their ballsy scheduling.

  6. RBS

    Saturday is also my birthday.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      You have me beat by 4 days. FACEBOOK WAR!

      1. RBS

        I look forward to my older relatives wishing me a happy birthday on their own walls.

    2. Hyperion

      Happy early B-day, shitlord. You sound like a fag, Tulpa! That is the traditional Glib B-day congrats, right?

    3. Trials and Trippelations

      Happy early birthdays shitlords! The monocles gold weed well wishes are in the mail

    4. one true athena

      ha, mine’s a week after you!

      We’re going to dinner at the restaurant at the top of the new Wilshire Grand/Korean Air Tower in Los Angeles (for those nearby). Should be stunning at sunset.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        I’m not familiar, and I still haven’t picked a place. Deets plz.

        I can’t get into Yamakase, Bestia caught on fire, and Fishing With Dynamite is booked.

        1. one true athena

          La Boucherie. I figure it’s no different the other high-rise restaurants where it’s really more for the view than the food, but whatever, that’s what I’m paying for, I figure. Besides, my son is especially eager to see the building, since he loves skyscrapers and it’s brand new.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Is that the building with the slide?

            I should know this, but I don’t have an office downtown anymore.

          2. one true athena

            No, that’s the US Bank/Library tower with the slide (now closed because of greenmailers, fuck those people). Wilshire Grand is the just-opened one, with the spire.

  7. robc

    Note to editors. Houston is supposed to be a strikethru in the location of LSU v BYU GAME. wishing for a fairy.

    1. *edit fairy sets down beer, and rolls up sleeves*

      1. robc

        Your not as pretty as my liquor fairy.

  8. Playa Manhattan

    Hurricane?????

    Man, that’s insensitive.

    1. quincy

      Tropical Depression

      1 oz lemon vodka
      1 oz rum
      1/2 oz gin
      1/2 oz blue curacao
      lemon mix
      grenadine
      sprite

      1. AlmightyJB

        That actually sounds pretty good

        1. quincy

          Everybody seems to have their own recipe:

          Tropical Depression
          (makes one)
          2 oz. mango purée
          2 oz. strawberry purée
          1 oz dark rum (we used Gosling’s Black Seal Rum)
          1 oz triple sec
          1 oz amaretto
          1 oz coconut crème
          toasted coconut, pineapple and maraschino cherries for garnish
          Blend all ingredients with ice until smooth. Pour into a short glass and garnish with toasted coconut, pineapple and maraschino cherries.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Tropical Depression:

            I’m on vacation and the bar is closed.

          2. quincy

            That is indeed depressing.

    2. robc

      Thats what I was going for.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        I wouldn’t have it any other way.

        1. robc

          I considered going with the first recipe I found: 4oz dark rum, 4oz Pat Obriens hurricane mix.

          But that seemed wrong.

    3. Yeah. That guy spent a lot of time in prison.

  9. AlmightyJB

    Go Bucks!

    1. Hyperion

      There’s a Bucks in minor league foozball?

      1. AlmightyJB

        Used to be a Columbus Bucks minor league team. Didn’t last very long. I went to a few of their games.

        1. Hyperion

          Are you talking about the TB vs DC Clovis peoples game?

          1. AlmightyJB

            I’m ancient but not that ancient:)

          2. Hyperion

            Ok, I mean the TB vs DC game that is going on right now. I can’t remember if I ever said this here on Glibs, but I think the TB vs Oaktown game last year was the greatest NFL game I’ve ever seen. I mean as a Raiders fan. I’ve watched the highlights of that game like 1000 times, seriously.

          3. AlmightyJB

            It’s still pre-season

          4. Hyperion

            That game wasn’t pre-season. Bring it on, you fake pirates! Seabass missed like 20 straight field goals and we still won! Mwahhhahhhha… uh oh, BP is going to be looking for some type of royalty for that…

  10. Brochettaward

    College football is only a couple steps above the WNBA as an athletic competition, frankly.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      You can still go to college. It’s not too late.

  11. Roger Wilco

    New stadium is all magical and stuff. Totally worth the taxpayer’s money and fuck that church anyway. Did you see the big fucken bird out front? Quality.

    Why are we playing in that stadium instead of Bobby Dodd?

    At least the new football stadium probably won’t lose as much money as the baseball stadium. Maybe.

    1. robc

      Its a one off neutral site game, not a home game. Even though its part of the season ticket package.

      BTW, my last trip to BDS was the win over FSU in 2008.

  12. hayeksplosives

    Watching Oklahoma State vs Tulsa on Fox Sports 1. OkState was winning handily, 21-0, until they botched a punt return and fumbled it in the endzone, then Tulsa recovered for a TD. Possibly Tulsa’s only touchdown. We shall see…

  13. LT_Fish

    All righty. New review will be up tomorrow morning after doing the overnight ban test.

    Will try and get a few reviews ahead over the long weekend to avoid this in the future – got a stack of titles I’m looking forward to discussing soon including dreamy stop motion animation, korean zombie animation, danish crime comedies, french s/f, etc.

  14. Hyperion

    Man, over at TOS, they are social signaling so hard that they’ve barfed up their own spleen.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Christ, the comment section Gilmore linked to is a complete and utter shithole. All that’s left are no-shit, for reals, non-ironic racists and antisemites and Hugh Akston.

      I feel like I need to take a shower after reading that.

      1. Hyperion

        Hugh… the leader of the hummus cult…

        1. hayeksplosives

          The only things I go over there for (once every couple of weeks) is Stossel and Remy. I studiously avoid even peeking at the rest.

          1. Hyperion

            I like Bailey a lot, he’s a good guy. Don’t care what anyone else thinks of him.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            I was underwhelmed by Bailey. His grip on science, the thing he was writing about, was somewhat tenuous. Unfortunately, he seemed unable to recognize that shortcoming.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Are you saying you’re not a cornucopian transhumanist alter kaker mit a schtickle halvah?

          4. Hyperion

            I like his futurist stuff. Which I almost agree with him on 100%. The global warming fluff is something I think he didn’t really agree with, but saw it as an opportunity to ride. I just think, as thinking of myself as a fairly good judge of human nature, that Ron is a good guy.

          5. Hyperion

            “Are you saying you’re not a cornucopian transhumanist”

            WHO is not a cornucopian transhumanist? Who refuses to wear the ribbon!

          6. Hottest year on record by 0.00025C so far.

          7. hayeksplosives

            I couldn’t get past his global warming crap either. I am surprised he didn’t see it as an excuse to implement redistribution and eventually marxism on a global level.

          8. Raven Nation

            Linnekn’s food stories were pretty good although I must admit I haven’t read one in a few months.

          9. R C Dean

            TO has gotten maybe three clicks from me since, what, February?

        2. Winston

          Hummus cult? What about the Cult of Reason?

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Yeah, but…. which is worse?

        1. Hyperion

          Tulpa? *something everyone can agree on*

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          It’s like gonorrhea and syphilis. Each is terrible in its own unique way.

      3. straffinrun

        Was it part of this thread: Juice|8.31.17 @ 3:47PM|#|–|filternamelinkcustom

        The fact that libertarianism mechanical engineering is dominated by white men can mean only a couple things: either libertarianism mechanical engineering for *some reason* turns off women and minorities, or white men are on average the smartest and bestest of all races and sexes for having arrived at the truth.

        Or insert any other male dominated thing because all of those things are racist.

        log in or register to reply
        Tony|8.31.17 @ 3:52PM|#|–|filternamelinkcustom

        It’s either that or minorities are stupid. Which one do you prefer?

        1. straffinrun

          The strike out got lost. libertarianism

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          Shit. You had to go and bring it in the house, didn’t you?

          1. straffinrun

            *Wags tail with dead rat in mouth*

          2. trshmnstr

            *rolls up newspaper and narrows gaze*

    2. straffinrun

      Why don’t you go to Fauxitarians. She they’d take you. *Something I saw on another thread there.

      1. Hyperion

        I don’t even know what you just said.

        1. straffinrun

          Let me try again. “Fauxitarians” seems to be some type of insult for this site. I just got up, sorry.

          1. Hyperion

            Is that a real site? BTW, I’m glad you made it home the other night and that your wife didn’t murder you. We were here for you, man!

          2. straffinrun

            Like I said, she just laughed. My rep sucks.

          3. Hyperion

            My wife would probably laugh at me too if I walked home drunk. Although I think sometimes a fight and makeup sex would be the better outcome.

      2. quincy

        Fauxitarians

        Foxy furry libertarians in fake fur?

    3. one true athena

      ugh, I just saw Weissmueller and Fisher agreeing on twitter that “right wing populists are anti-liberty and Lauren Southern is a white supremacist.” fuck you both. I can go to Salon for that kind of bullshit.

      Between reason and Sarwark, they seem really into chasing away anything that’s not the Democratic platform lately.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        I don’t know much about Southern, but right wing populism is anti-liberty. Populism of any flavor is vile collectivist venality.

        1. Brochettaward

          They don’t know much about Southern, either. And that’s the problem. They are painting with the same ridiculously broad brush that the progs are. They engage in character assassination foolishly thinking that it lends them credibility when it reality they are setting themselves up to be tarred with the same brush the second it’s convenient.

        2. one true athena

          I don’t think it has to be, especially if “populism” is just a code word for “shit we don’t like but is somewhat popular”. Which is really my problem with it — they’re using “populism” in what seems to me to be a very “oh those rubes who believe open borders are bad!! that’s so ignorant! lol” way. If you want open borders then fucking defend it with more than a “if you don’t want them you’re racist!” That strike me as far more anti-liberty than “make up your own mind based on these principles and these choices we have available.”

          1. Brochettaward

            We live in a god damn democracy, even if a representative one. The entire term itself is asinine, and up until like two minutes ago the left considered it a positive while right wing “populists” were typically labelled demagogues. Sanders was a populist and they lauded him. I suppose the contrast is someone who stands on principle, but I don’t know what sort of principles the modern left can actually claim.

            The reality is that the violence and anti-liberty aspects of the modern progressive movement are far more dangerous than Trump style populism. And there’s a wide fucking gap between the average Trumpista and a Nazi. And Southern isn’t even the former let alone the latter.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            There is populism in the sense of a specific social-political stance in regards to the role direct democracy should play in a representative government, and populism in the sense of it being mere synonym for demagoguery. I’m not a fan of either sense.

          3. Winston

            What’s your take on elitism then?

            Personally I haven’t been too fond of the notion since why are they TOP MEN and why should I listen to them? Who gives them power and appoints them? And what prevents them from being corrupt, out of touch and power-hungry?

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            I’m not a supporter of elitism either. I believe in sovereignty of the individual. That having been said, in minarchism, without the coercion of the state, I believe you would find something closer to elitism than populism. However the elite would rise through meritocracy (in the positive sense of the word). Perhaps it’s due to my early exposure to Objectivism, but I believe men of ability should be able to rise above others through their own merit and not fear the crabs pulling them back down into the bucket.

          5. Winston

            I keep thinking of how (uh oh Gilmore) Mencken thought Ludendorff was one of those natural elites. Worked out well didn’t it?

            Reminds me of how Welch tried to call the anti-LP people in the election crab bucket libertarians.

            Is there anyone alive that is not yourself that you think is one of those men of ability who should rise above?

          6. Heroic Mulatto

            That’s the thing about the market; I could have my preferences, but they don’t matter. Perhaps there is an element of social Darwinism inherent in this as well. It’s hard for me to predict who would rise above, but assuming all things being fair and equal, such rising would be evidence of a certain fitness. However, any such arraignments between leader and follower in this context would be voluntary.

          7. Winston

            I’m not too fond of populism either. When Reason was on its “libertarian populism” kick I was wondering what exactly it meant.

          8. Heroic Mulatto

            Jesse Walker and I would get into wars in the comment section over that very same thing. Just before the great schism, on the eve of Trump’s election, I asked Walker how he liked his “libertarian populism” now, he admitted it didn’t work out as he had hoped.

          9. Winston

            Jesse seems to be hoping for a great anti-Trump Popular Front which won’t work out either…

          10. Winston

            Also this is the same Reason that thinks everything is evidence of the libertarian moment.

    4. Suthenboy

      I really cant understand how someone can humiliate themselves like they have. Are they getting cheers from all the right people these days? The last bit I saw from ENB could have come straight off of everyday feminism.

      Pathetic.

      1. wdalasio

        I wouldn’t bet on it, sir. I’m afraid you won’t be of much interest as a commoner. I doubt if anyone will be particularly interested in what you have to say. You have no constituency, you see. No power base. You represent nothing but one talentless, discredited family. And very soon, you won’t represent even that. You will represent nothing. You will mean nothing. You will be nothing. – Francis Urquhart to the king he was about to remove in the original BBC House of Cards

        I don’t think TOS staff is getting much in the way of cocktail party invites these days. The only reason libertarians are of any interest to progressives is that they have an audience, that they command some influence with other libertarians. Selling out liberty for the sake off progressive approval only works when you can convince other libertarians that the sellout makes sense. Without the libertarian base, all ENB, Shika, Robby and Nick are is minor scribblers who once argued for icky ideas. No need for anyone to waste their time and cocktail invites on them.

        1. wdalasio

          Sorry for the misformatting

  15. Pine_Tree

    robc, when were you at Tech? I got out as an ME in ’93.

    1. robc

      NE 91

  16. Troy

    OT: formerly Troy AKA Troy Muy Grande Boner.

    OK. So it only took me a few months to find out where you reprobates went to.

    So this is not Reason and I understand you can get banned. So other that being a fucking asshole like Tony, Shrek, or Buttplug, what should I avoid?

    Are pizza memes OK? Beer?

    1. Hyperion

      I remember you. Tulpa.

      1. Hyperion

        Seriously, I do remember you. I mean, even though you’re Tulpa.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      The only thing that’s problematic is being annoying, and I don’t recall you having that problem.

      But, if you don’t mind my asking, how did you find this place 6 months in? Are people still talking about it at that other website?

    3. straffinrun

      The draft?

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      I’d avoid death threats.

    5. Old Man With Candy

      Indeed, this isn’t Reason. My wife, SP, is the Obergruppenfuehrer who will not tolerate discussions of pineapple on pizza. You have been warned.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        And yes, to forestall the obvious question, she’s 8.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          In dog years.

      2. DOOMco

        *hides in shadows*

        1. Old Man With Candy

          As you should, yes.

          1. DOOMco

            I will never have a get out of cat butt card.

          2. Hyperion

            It was the lumber jack photo, DOOM, sorry, you’re never going to pass as a metrosexual. It’s like you ain’t even woke yet.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            My advice as a doctor, and I’m not doctor, is to learn to like cat butts.

          4. peachy rex

            If we ever get a troll who actually *likes* cat butts (rule 34, baby), we are so screwed.

          5. Playa Manhattan

            In the short term, yes. But it’s all the same picture, and therefore, subject to rule 34 desensitization.

            Unless somebody has a library of cat butt pics. I haven’t asked around about that. Yet.

          6. peachy rex

            As someone with three of the little beasts running around, I can assure you that amassing a library of cat butt pics would take very little time or effort if one were inclined to make the attempt.

          7. Playa Manhattan

            Start collecting now, and then I’ll nominate you to the Glibs board.

          8. peachy rex

            Power! Power beyond the dreams of mortal men!

          9. A cat anus photoshoot isn’t as creepy as a maroon conversion van with deeply tinted windows,gently bouncing up and down, parked at the periphery of an outdoor municipal swimming pool during age 6-10 swimming lessons.

          10. peachy rex

            That is a little unsettling.

            And it wouldn’t have to be a photoshoot, as such… a time-lapse camera pretty much anywhere in my apartment would collect enough cat-ass in a week to blast a decade’s worth of trolls. Cats are *really* not shy about showing ass. It’s one of their less charming characteristics as a species.

          11. Playa Manhattan

            He said ISN’T AS

    6. Warty

      Just be you.

    7. No threatening to shoot any commenters or staff.

      *glares*

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Does that mean I can’t talk about my hunt for Bigfoot?

    8. Gustave Lytton

      Welcome! Pizza ok, although apparently Hawaiian is now in the same league as deep dish and is quite divisive. Yes, you should bring beer for everyone. Oh, fuck off Tulpa!

      (Should we tell Troy about cat butting or should he stumble upon that Wicker Man style?)

      1. An topping recipe for artisan Hawaiian pizza: (1) Honey Baked Ham and/or Virginia ham sliced into irregularly shaped bite sized pieces, for extra artisanship (2) one tin of SPAM diced into quarter inch cubes (3) core, slice, then grill slices of ripened artisanal pineapple over bed of charcoal and use a butter rum brown sugar basting glaze – grill until pineapple slabs soften, sugar caramelises,and you get some kewl grill marks on the pineapple – chop the labs into bite size pieces after pineapple rests and drains. Acquire one artisanal Boboli premade crust, slather it with a layer of tomato paste, apply a liberal amount of lowfat grated mozzarella cheese finally put the pineapple, SPAM, and ham. Bake at 170F for 1 hour for full sous vide effect. Belissima. You’re welcome in advance.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          I hope to Yahweh for your sake that SP doesn’t see this.

          1. It was the cutting corners with the Boboli, isn’t it? God dammit.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          WTF is artisanal pineapple? It’s too cold here for hipsters to grow that shit.

          1. Artisanal pineapple is a rebranded Del Monte purchased from a middleman, preferably a Mexican or Vietnamese delivered in unmarked wax boxes.

        3. SP

          Lucky for you, I personally don’t believe in cat butting. I do, however, believe in summary banning.

          3….. 2…..

          Wait. All the bad topping considerations aside, WTF kind of heathen uses BOBOLI PREMADE CRUST??!!

          You’ve managed to make even DOOM look not-quite-so-horrible.

          1. Hey don’t knock it till u tried it. Pair it with a tall glass of room temperature Mr.& Mrs. T’s Piña Colada mix or a chilled Seagram’s wine cooler and you’re good to go.

          2. spqr2008

            It’s not all bad SP. I liked pineapple on Pizza until I tried dipping “Hawaiian Pizza” into Poi. Big mistake.

  17. straffinrun

    Sarwark is on Jason Stapleton’s showw to address his comments on white nationalism and Tom Woods. This ought to be fun.

      1. straffinrun

        You don’t jump when Nick says “jump”, you’re a racist.

        1. straffinrun

          Well that was your typical cosmo/yokel fight.

          1. DOOMco

            yeah.

    1. Gilmore

      I can’t trust a man what has a nazi haircut

      1. This Machine

        IT WERE THEM DURN NAZIS WHUT DONE IT.

        Serious question, what’s a Nazi haircut? Used to be they were just skinheads.

        1. Gilmore

          what’s a Nazi haircut?

          the same thing every hipster had a few years ago.

          high and tight on the sides, floppy on toppy

          1. DOOMco

            longer the better for the hipsters.

    2. Gilmore

      “I accused a guy of being a crypto nazi, and instead of apologizing for triggering people, HE GOT MAD, which is proof that he’s a white-power advocate”

      that’s what sarwark’s argument is. Unless you renounce Hitler and beg forgiveness from your woke masters, you’re a servant of the Secret Nazi Cabal. never mind all the other shit he said. No, obsess about 2 words.

      1. DOOMco

        That won’t end poorly!

      2. straffinrun

        Sarwark’s argument was even more idiotic than what you’re saying. “I don’t think Tom or Jeff is a Nazi, but some Nazi’s listen to him. It’s a dog whistle for Nazis.” So he’s totally not a Nazi, but he’s a covert Nazi or something. That was some serious poo flinging by Sarwark.

        1. straffinrun

          *What you’re saying he said.

  18. Heroic Mulatto

    Guess who is wearing this bad-ass shirt right now?

    That’s an invitation to cybersex, by the way.

    1. This Machine

      Did someone already take the name “Don’t Thread on Me” for their veteran-owned clothing company?

  19. Urthona

    The Texas Railroad Commissioner who used to sit next to me in high school is now assuring us there is no gas crisis.

    I remember when he used to go to his car and drink vodka on lunch break and then spend the rest of the afternoon drooling on his desk.

    Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and fill up anyway.

    1. Brochettaward

      I remember when he used to go to his car and drink vodka on lunch break and then spend the rest of the afternoon drooling on his desk.

      I don’t know. I like the guy.

      1. Urthona

        He did understand the value of education. No doubt there.

  20. Juvenile Bluster

    Local story out of Utah, where a nurse has been abused by the cops for following hospital policy (and the law) by not taking a blood draw from an unconscious patient despite the officer ordering her to.

    At least the comments are universally anti-officer.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      And the nurse was immediately released with a personal apology from the PD chief, then the arresting officer and his supervisor were taken into custody, right?

      Taking blood from a unconscious burn victim? Geezus Christ.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Wasn’t SLC PD the one with the supposedly great police chief?

  21. robc

    Is anyone on sloopy suicide watch?

    1. AlmightyJB

      Meh. The underdogs always blow their load the first half.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Although the Bucks don’t seem to have any answer to Indiana’s QB.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I stand corrected

  22. Playa Manhattan

    Does anyone have the score to the Cal game? My internet is down.

    1. Brochettaward

      Still scoreless.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Cal raised taxes on themselves by 300% making them uncompetitive.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Glad to once again help you out.

      OSU 47 Cal 44

      1. Playa Manhattan

        So…. Cal won by not being a state school?

    4. I’m Here To Help

      I’m slightly confused. You are posting on the internet that your internet is down?

      Even more confusing – why anyone would be interested in Cal football…

      1. straffinrun

        Playa finally caught one with that stale joke.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          It proves a beautiful point…. People just can’t help themselves.

  23. Timeloose

    What no love for Penn State vs the power house that is Akron.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Plus power shower

      1. Timeloose

        Owtch

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I just found out that Lavar Arrington is my neighbor.

      Was he good at football?

      1. Timeloose

        He was a really good LB.

  24. Winston

    Which one is Robert Lee commentating?

    1. Slammer

      Rooreesiana Tech at Irrinoys

      1. Winston

        In the land of Lincoln? Heaven forfend!

  25. Slammer

    Final Score:

    Toxic Masculinty – 1

    Rest of the World- 0

  26. Winston

    http://www.salon.com/2017/08/27/it-is-time-to-examine-the-words-and-the-origins-of-our-national-anthem-another-neo-confederate-symbol_partner/

    Umm how can something written decades before the CSA be “neoconfederate”?

    Also he doesn’t do much to prove that the Star Spangled Banner being made the natinal anthem was primarily the work of segregationist southern whites. He points out some criticism of it which weren’t that it was “neoconfederate”.

    And he glosses over how it was quite popular in the North in the Civil War. Oliver Wendell Holmes even wrote alternative lyrics. Or how it had a official status in the Navy since 1889 and how it was being played at Phillies and Giants games in the 1890s.

    1. Suthenboy

      Fucking pinko agitators stir shit. It’s what they do. They never quit. Listening to them gets so tiresome. If they manage to erase every shred of American history they will just find another pot to stir. Even if they manage to destroy western civilization they wont be satisfied. They are as tiresome as they are predictable. If we keep letting them gain ground they will eventually start with the gulags and the firing squads.

      I was looking at the video of the school teacher charged with rioting earlier. She is one crazy-ass piece of work. A real full blown useful idiot. Nothing that comes out of her mouth resembles reality or rational thought. It’s just gibberish. You can bet your ass she would love nothing more than to start filling pits with dead ‘nazis’, or as they are known in other circles, American citizens.

  27. KSuellington

    The NFL pre season is pretty damn ridiculous. They need to drop it entirely and play an extra regular season game or two.

    1. DOOMco

      it is.

    2. Winston

      Like the CFL?

      1. KSuellington

        I know why the owners love it, they get to charge season ticket owners the same or close to the same prices for four extra games. I know that the players union would probably oppose more regular season games. It is the NFL, so they do whatever the fuck they want and expect the fans to take it. I still have the Raiders Seahawks game in the background.

  28. Lachowsky

    Well Arkansas at least won their season opener tonight. I only got to see the first half, got called into work for the second. 49-7 over an FCS school tells me less than nothing about the team. I don’t have very high hopes for this season.

      1. Gilmore

        ooh, i like that.

        Mike Patton Culinary School

        1. DOOMco

          That’s good as well. the veggie song made me laugh.
          The whole Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By is a great album.

  29. thrakkorzog

  30. thrakkorzog

    So the Russian version of Statler and Waldorf watch an Occupy whatever rally.

  31. Trigger Hippie

    OT: I recently joined the Twittersphere(mostly to keep up current events) And I must say, the accumulation of years spent here and at TSTSNBN have honed my ability to detect red herrings, myopic generalizations, ad hominems, and the overall disingenuous nature of people who try to base an argument on feelz in 140 characters or less.

    Conveying anything of substance about a complex topic in such a narrow context is beyond the scope of most of us, but refuting the argument presented in that format is kinda easy peasy, even for little ole’ me.

    1. SP

      I’m part of a couple special interest communities on Twitter and they really can work for that. Fortunately, everybody sticks very closely to the community topic and I can count on one hand the times that someone has even begun to stray toward politics.

  32. LT_Fish

    Ok, Evil Aliens review is finally up.