ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ONCE MORE THE BRUTAL “DEAR PRUDENCE” HAS PROVIDED INFERIOR ADVICE TO HER FELLOW BRUTALS. IT IS NOW INCUMBENT ON ZARDOZ TO CORRECT THIS, AND PROVIDE SUPERIOR ANSWERS.
Q. Fiancé worried my genes will affect his son’s “package:” I have recently become engaged to my longtime boyfriend. Whenever the topic of children came up, he would insist he only wanted girls because his siblings were all brothers so another male in the family would be boring. Last week, however, he forwarded me an email from his brother (also his best man) with some information I needed for wedding planning, but the email was part of a much larger running conversation. I was mortified when I read his real reason for not wanting a son is that my “Asian genes” would mean his son would have a “small package!” My brother was bullied by jocks using this idiotic stereotype in high school so I was incredibly angered, but I haven’t said anything about what I read yet. He has begun asking why I am so distant lately, but I have no idea how to confront him!
A. The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. If you disregard Zardoz’s commands to NOT make new life, the least you can do is insure the Evil Penis will be a small one. Otherwise, cleanse your fiance…go forth and kill! Zardoz has spoken.
Q. Am I just jealous?: I thought I was happy with my life and making good progress. I have a job I like, my husband just went from contracting to permanent at his company, we are starting to look for a condo, we are saving for retirement. Then all of a sudden some of my friends are making major life changes, and I suddenly feel like I am failing or pathetic by companion. One is moving from the Bay Area to Sacramento to a house she and her husband bought, one is moving to Portland, one is going to grad school in France, and one is going to Ireland. While my husband points out that some of them are just running away from their problems and that none of them are saving for the future the way we are, I feel like I am somehow failing.
We are all in our 30s. Some of it is the idea of losing some friends who, while I didn’t see as often as I would like, will leave an absence for me, some of it is this feeling like I should be doing more. What is wrong with me? Am I just jealous that they are having an adventure and I am playing it safe?
A. Pathetic Brutal! You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good! You must track down your friends and cleanse them. Except for the one going to Ireland. Zardoz wishes that one to be enslaved, to grow grain for the Eternals in the Vortex. Go forth and kill (or enslave)! Zardoz has spoken.
Q. How do I diffuse this?: I’m a female truck driver who has one pickup and one delivery customer, so I see the same people multiple times a day. I apparently read one fella’s signals wrong and asked him to accompany me to a concert. Before I even got the whole question out he looked panicky, was shaking his head, and said, “No, thank you.” I really regret asking him because then he got super weird—he even started using his co-workers as chaperones! I didn’t have a chance to let him know I was cool with his refusal, as he kept getting the chaperones. So I wrote him a note and stuck it where I knew he’d find it. He stopped with the chaperones, and we were almost normal.
That was a couple months ago. A few days ago I discovered that one of my co-workers was talking about me with this man—he’s so freaked out it’s ridiculous! I have been nothing but polite, decent, and respectful, yet that doesn’t seem to mean anything to him. Do I speak to him? Ignore it? Help!
A. You must recall the words of the Enforcer Zed – “I love to see them running. I love the moments of their deaths – when I am one with Zardoz.” Hunt him down and cleanse him. And his chaperones too. Go forth and kill! Zardoz has spoken.
If you take this advice, Chosen Ones, then Zardoz is pleased.
Comments
390 responses to “ZARDOZ ANSWERS DEAR PRUDENCE … AGAIN”
Isn’t it possible for both the gun and the penis to be good?
Gun = Good, Penis = Evil, it just seems like a false dichotomy to me–are you sure we’re talking about mutually exclusive alternatives, here?
There are plenty of left-wing lesbians who think both are evil. There are right-wing gay men who think both are good (eg. Pink Pistols).
And apparently, there are people who think the penis is somewhat irrelevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29NL0j_fNrs
(But I don’t think anyone has studied what gynandromorphophiles think about guns.)
Spoiler alert, traps are gay.
(#YesAllTraps)
I am having a hard time finding reasons to disagree with Zardoz on these.
Chick with small penis genes, chick with social media envy syndrome, chick who made it weird at work…murder is the next logical step.
I cant figure out why the asian chick’s fiancé is worried about a son having a tiny pecker yet no concern for his daughters turning out with horizontal labia.
If you had said he should be worried about flat chested daughters, I would’ve agreed with you. But then, it wouldn’t have been a joke.
A beautiful summary by the Messican Marksman. Agreed…death is the only option.
murder is the next logical step.
This is why STEVE SMITH should answer Prudence. Rape seems more appropriate to me. That is just me though.
*NODS IN AGREEMENT*
/STEVE SMITH
“I know Rand Paul and I think he may find a way to get there for the good of the Party!”
—-Donald Trump via Twitter
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/911546774267006976
Maybe he knows something we don’t know.
I do think John McCain is just stickin’ it to Trump. McCain has been after Trump since before the inauguration, when he gave the Pissgate dossier to Comey.
Trump has some interesting stats up on his Twitter feed, too, about health insurance premiums in Alaska and Arizona since ObamaCare was implemented. There’s no reason to double-check his stats. If Donald Trump posted it on Twitter, then it must be true!
‘The Twitter Feed of Record’ ™
McCain has been after Trump since before the inauguration,
He’s certainly been after him since this.
If he’d known John McCain might be suffering from a brain tumor, he might not have made fun of him for being an idiot.
I suppose “might” should have been italicized.
Encouraging to hear Trump talk like that.
I linked this in an earlier thread, but I think it was mostly done by then, so I am going to repost here.
The neo-cons over at PowerLine wrote some nasty things about McCain. But at the end of the day he didn’t manage to win the title of “Worst Senator”.
I’ll let you guess who they gave that title to.
I’m happy Ken is getting the wider audience his thoughts deserve 🙂
I wouldn’t consider moving to Sacramento to be an adventure, lady. However, house prices there are a FRACTION of what they are in the Bay Area; and even with Portland being the priciest area in Oregon, it’s also not far off from Sacramento—vastly more affordable than Bay Area. Your friends are probably going for the same goals as you, but unlike you have realized that those goals will be much more attainable in an area that’s not SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE.
The people going to grad school in foreign countries, though, they’re probably morons.
I find that a rather odd opinion. Care to elaborate?
Huge expense for something that will likely be a masters in women’s and gender studies or something similar. This is just based on my experience with people from the Bay Area deciding to go to grad school in Europe because they haven’t been able to find a real job yet, so I could be totally off the mark. One retard in particular wants to go to grad school in Germany or France just because she wants to live in Europe, but she has no clue what she even wants to study. She just wants it. Another wants to get an MFA because she wants to have the MFA after her name. Like she’s planning on going around introducing herself as Snooty McSnooterson, MFA. But she’s not planning to work in the arts. She just wants to have the MFA after her name.
I know lots of people in creative fields. My last serious gf is a professor @ Parson’s. She says an MFA is the kiss of death for anyone with any artistic ambition, because everyone in the professional world looks at you and goes, “you don’t have the balls to actually do anything, so instead you just keep studying”
actors in particular. some manage to get away with it (esp if its the Yale acting program; don’t know why, but it has cachet), but you’re more likely to be tipping actors with MFAs at a bar than seeing them on broadway.
basically, all its good for is being a teacher.
Yes, an MFA is what you get if you want to teach creative writing in community college.
I have a work buddy now retired who did an arts degree then an MFA later in life as a hobby. I’m 90% sure he did it so he could hang out with coeds and get them to pose nude for his shoots.
*takes notes*
Hmmm.
/also takes notes.
That plan is absolutely brilliant.
Now that’s planning for the future!
I see.
Just for reference, according to the annual Open Doors report by the Institute for International Education, the majority of American students (undergrad and grad) studying abroad study STEM, followed by Business, Social Science, Foreign Language, Fine and Applied Arts.
Secondly, tuition, even for international students, tends to be much, much cheaper than in the United States.
I know someone that went to Europe for his MBA. It was not a dumb decision.
lol, right? They’re all just settling down. I think she’s just resenting the changes and the losing of friends. And maybe she’s just the type to feel dissatisfied no matter what she does, and it’s compounding that proclivity to see her friends projecting satisfaction—because they’re not so envious and covetous.
You’re in your 30s, lady. It’s time to stop giving a shit.
And maybe she’s just the type to feel dissatisfied no matter what she does.
“No matter where you go, there you are.” — Buckaroo Banzai
More affordable than Bay Area?
Isn’t that like “prettier than a warthog”?
“warmer than the north pole”?
“smarter than Georgia dirt”?
That’s all true.
oh no other people are going and doing other things
this is clearly not real ZARDOZ. real ZARDOZ only speaks in ALL CAPS.
We have had complaints about the all caps. So the answers were lower cased…. Oh man, I hope we don’t get cleansed for that!!!
WE SHALL ALL BE CLEANSED, IN TIME.
I am afraid you are correct..mm
Don’t feel too bad Swiss. My roommate lost one of my guns, so I’m first on the CLEANSING block for disrespecting the gift of the gun. You should be fine for another few months, at least.
I think you might have meant “former friend”.
Not yet. I need him around to be liable for losing it if it doesn’t turn up.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS POSSIBLY LIABLE CHOSEN ONE. YOUR “FRIEND” SHOULD BE CLEANSED. THE GIFT OF THE GUN IS PRICELESS.
all lower case or else… full repeal or nothing
*golf clap*
Complaints? Did you run out of cat butts? good god man, you’ll ban hammer trolls but you cave to the hecklers veto?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS SUPPORTIVE CHOSEN ONE. AS LONG AS THE WORD OF ZARODZ IS SPREAD, IT MATTERS NOT IF CAPITALIZED.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN!
Who’s Zarod?
?
Now, who is Zarodz? *confused stare*
(insert meme photo showing, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me“-face)
You have a thankless job.
Seriously. Who the fuck complains about typography?
Web designers?
That is fair. I concede.
I felt the need to post a YouTube video to celebrate your concession, but realized that I could not hope to find something worthy of you. You remain unconquered even in defeat, I salute you sir.
This might be the best post ever on this site.
It needed to be seen by all.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN THICC LOVING ONE. YOU TEMPT THE BRUTALS WITH THE THICC! BE WARNED!
Now every time I refresh the page for new posts, I have to stop and stare at that glorious dark ass on the way down.
Some people really hate Garamond bold.
It’s a great font for web app banners, etc.
Newspaper editors?
https://www.reddit.com/r/keming/
Aldus Manutius?
Complaints by whom?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN HEROIC ONE. ZARDOZ HAS HEARD THE COMPLAINTS OF THE BRUTALS, AND WOULD FAIN HEAR HIS WORD DISMISSED ON THE GROUND HE USES ALL CAPS. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN!
It’s election time in these parts! In case any glibs are feeling left out, you can vote on which of these German candidates standing for election tomorrow is the hottest. If I can’t post six pictures on Glibs, I will post them in ensuing posts.
1) Saskia Ludwig, CDU:
*EDIT FAIRY FAIL*
1) Linda Teuteberg, FDP (bonus points for being the most libertarian German party):
*ALSO EDIT FAIRY FAIL*
2) Dr. Manja Schüle, SPD (soggy socialists):
*EDIT FAIRY FAIL*
3) Katrin Göring-Eckhart, Grünpartei (possible bonus points for crazy):
4) Sahra Wagenknecht, Die Linke (this was the old East German communist party, so definitely bonus points for crazy)
1) Saskia Ludwig, CDU:
Okay, apparently I don’t know the secret to posting a picture here. Never mind.
You need super secret mod powers. Alternatively, you can offer supplications to the edit faeries.
Ah. I’ll just put the links then
1) Saskia Ludwig, CDU:
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saskia_Ludwig#/media/File:Portrait_saskia_ludwig.jpg
2) Linda Teuteberg, FDP (bonus points for being the most libertarian German party):
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Teuteberg#/media/File:Linda_Teuteberg_1.jpg
3) Dr. Manja Schüle, SPD (soggy socialists):
http://www.manja-schuele.de/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/SPD_ManjaSchuele_Slider_1140x400._Erststimme.jpg
4) Katrin Göring-Eckhart, Grünpartei (possible bonus points for crazy):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katrin_G%C3%B6ring-Eckardt#/media/File:Katrin_G%C3%B6ring-Eckardt_(cropped).jpg
5) Sahra Wagenknecht, Die Linke (this was the old East German communist party, so definitely bonus points for crazy)
https://hu.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sahra_Wagenknecht#/media/File:2014-09-11_-_Sahra_Wagenknecht_MdB_-_8301.jpg
Anyway it’s not a bad looking slate by political standards.
I’d plan an expedition thru’ Linda’s forest.
I’d be careful. Apparently three legions worth of Italians already passed through and were never seen again.
Yes, Hell Yeah, No, Hell No, Maybe
I bet that 3 has the best bod. I just know these things.
Threesome: Saskia Ludwig and Linda Teuteberg.
That’s only five: Two 1s, a 2, a 3, and a 4.
Counting fail, image fail, and enumeration fail. I blame cognac.
Looks right to me… *knocks back vodka gimlet*
Linda Tueteberg
Shit thread fail
Everything’s just full of fail today.
The gun is good.
https://hotair.com/archives/2017/09/23/baltimore-teachers-finally-wise-take-firearms-training/
Let’s play, what was today’s dumbest take on Twitter?
1. “The condescending appropriation of “woke” by smug white men is so telling.”
https://twitter.com/GlennaNorlin/status/911627841036591106
“Woke” is all about whites signaling to other whites.
“Woke police” is such a fantastic phrase. Much better than “SJW”
RIP Charles Bradley
Well, that’s bad too.
But my original reaction was, “NOOOOOOOOOO NOT CHARLES BARKLEY!!!”
That was mine too. Sir Charles is a treasure.
Same here. The politics section of his wikipedia page is interesting.
I have a vague memory of an interview with him where he talked about either his grandmother or mother berating him for voting Republican. She said, “They’re the party of the rich!” His response, “I am rich!”
“I love the homosexuality people.”
aww
Dayum. A little all over the map, but (or… “and therefore”) more sensible than 99% of the rejects in office.
Yep. When I got the email from Daptone, I was bummed.
Aw, man.
2. “In the Caribbean, colonialism and inequality mean hurricanes hit harder”
https://twitter.com/CaribeIndigena/status/910976780730847233
I lean towards #1 due to xer twitter bio:
That was supposed to be a self reply.
I’m a fucking idiot.
Gilmore looms large.
Taking lessons on how not to thread from Brooks?
I mean, that statement isn’t *wrong*, but something tells me she’s not thinking along the lines of “lack of freedom / free markets”
Well that’s why Haiti, a country that had a couple hundred years to try to sort its shit out sans colonial masters, is the most functional state in the Caribbean.
Let me see if I have this right. African men sell or trade other African men to slave traders in Europe. Europe sells African men to sugar plantation owners in the Caribbean. African men finally gain freedom from slavery in Caribbean, so 150 years later hurricanes are sent to punish people now freed from slavery in Caribbean? That really sucks, man.
And it is all the white man’s fault.
as for prudence…
…it has probably always been the case that all “Dear Prudence/Abbey” letters were actually written by the columnist themselves (or maybe they just compiled their letters out of a pastiche of actual receipts)
… but i feel like the quality of the writing has diminished. most of these described problems sound like they’re not the problem of someone who actually experienced these things, but someone else who *imagines* how other people experience things.
i thought “The Ethicist” – which is/was the NYT’s version of a pretentious-Dear-Abbey – for all its flaws, was a little better in that it really did take genuine reader letters and try to deconstruct problematic situations. Sometimes. Sometimes it was shit, but sometimes it made interesting reading.
it appears the latest guy to have that chair has taken things in a sillier direction. Maybe because the concerns of readers have gotten stupider. It feels like the answers to most should be one word, followed by, “you stupid cunt”
e.g.
“Should I Turn in My Tax-Cheating Relative?”
“My Nanny Has a Gambling Problem. Can I Fire Her?”
“Is Sex With a Brain-Damaged Man Assault?”
“Is It O.K. to Protest Trump by Withholding Taxes?”
“I Accidentally Killed a Child. May I Get in Touch With the Family?”
“Is Sex With a Brain-Damaged Man Assault?”
Depends on whether you are letting him pitch or making him catch.
I’ll skip the answer, which is long, and has a lot of, “on one hand blah, on the other hand, yadda yadda”
From the letter, it sounds like the dude just has some form of aphasia. If so, he’s not retarded. If he didn’t want to fuck, he’s perfectly capable of signaling consent by taking his dick out or not.
I think the “if the sexes were reversed you know this would be treated way differently” point still stands.
True, which is also bullshit. Chicks with aphasia are one of my fetishes.
I think everything is one of your fetishes.
I love to watch the swallows at sundown,
swarming after invisible things to eat.
Were we so lucky,
A full gullet, and never having to look at what it is,
Sunshine all over our backs.
There are no words between my fingers
Populating the lost world.
Something, it now seems, has snapped them up
Into its speechlessness,
into its thicc aphasia.
It’s got to be the Unredeemable Bird, come out
From the weight of the unbearable.
It flaps like a torn raincoat,
first this side, then that side.
Words are its knot of breath,
language is what it lives on.
That’s why I love the Modernists.
many of these “ethical dilemmas” that he gets are from 3rd parties who feel like they have some moral responsibility to intervene and “fix” some perceived problem.
that the ‘problem’ might actually be their own instinct to interject themselves into other people’s shit…. is rarely discussed.
tho, to his credit:
Actually, when I followed your link and saw that it’s Kwame Anthony Appiah, I was surprised. I have great respect for his scholarly work, and I imagine that he must be doing this gig to laugh at the vapid, stupid bullshit found within these letters.
That is how I signal consent.
“Would you like fries with that?”
*zzzziiip, waggle, waggle*
Isn’t aphasia a primary symptom of some types of dementia? Pick’s disease, if memory serves.
“Is It O.K. to Protest Trump by Withholding Taxes?”
Yes, and you should let the IRS know about it.
I can’t believe this person is trying to get out of the social contact.
“I Accidentally Killed a Child. May I Get in Touch With the Family?”
WTF. How does this person have time to write to the NYT and ponder in the abstract? I’d be drinking myself numb every night.
I think the answer to that one is:
Yes, but make contact on the kids birthday, or Christmas morning.
I’m sure hallmark has a card, that shoebox line sure can be sassy.
https://img1.etsystatic.com/059/0/8431018/il_340x270.704217949_mb2x.jpg
https://img0.etsystatic.com/124/0/7225932/il_340x270.945299806_e24l.jpg
https://img0.etsystatic.com/018/0/7797248/il_340x270.564513490_suii.jpg
If that female truck driver really wants to diffuse the situation she should run the guy through a wood chipper and dump the resultant sludge in the river.
Hey guess what? Sessions says MJ is still illegal! Glad to know the Feds will be protecting us from the devil’s weed. I know it’s gotten awful here in California with that legalization. I see kids smoking it up on every corner now.
He’s right, you know. It is at the federal level. Hopefully Trump puts him on a stick on the Whitehouse lawn soon enough, where he can’t do any harm except maybe scaring off some moles and rabbits.
I’m sure if a comedian did the same thing with Obama’s head nothing would have happened.
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2017/sep/23/kathy-griffin-trump-went-for-me-easy-target
Was it OK to protest Obama by withholding taxes?
No silly, you should pay more taxes no matter who’s president, I mean unless I decide you don’t have to because some big meanie I don’t like is president and then I’ll let you know.
/progs
Dear Zardoz-
The extractor on the .22 top end for my 1911 isn’t working consistently. What should I do?
It works goodly with the .45 barrel and slide.
*gives finger to grammar nazis
Sell it, buy a ruger 45/22
Newspaper advice columnists. Now I want to watch The Loved One again.
Somewhere, Irish has aching loins
https://twitter.com/ebruenig/status/911605362587062273
That’s just a description, not a principle.
Libertarians have no general principles, but their concerns are ass sex, drugs and illegals. In this case, non-citizen frogs smoking chemicals and doing ass sex. Compelled by the government = bad. Compelled by a corporation = good.
Sell it, buy a ruger 45/22
NEVER!
i was just spitballing.
from what i’ve heard (i have no experience) 22-conversion slides are rarely reliable. source: i watch gun videos on youtube (buffs nails on sleeve)
from what i’ve heard (i have no experience) 22-conversion slides are rarely reliable.
It was kind of sticky, so I just spent an hour or two filing, fitting and fettling, to get it to be happier, but the extractor is still inconsistent. It works perfectly on the dummy bullets, which makes me think it might be an ammo issue. It worked better when I switched to a hotter round. I probably haven’t put fifty rounds through it, so probably will loosen up.
Rimfire conversions are nightmares, but yes, your biggest variable is the ammo brand and loading. The cases – and quality of cases – vary a lot, even within manufacturers batches (when they’re not CCI)
Typically, rimfire conversions tend to be fired a fair amount to get the action smooth and good, and frankly, wear the extractor a bit. Of course, while you’re waiting for it to wear in, it’s pretty frustrating.
You might even have to futz a bit with the recoil spring weight, because the slide weight on 1911’s isn’t consistent across brands, and inevitably, firms selling conversion kits will end up trying to build a kit that is a compromize, so the product works as well as possible across a wide range of models.
Crap, the A/C is broken again. They’ve been here three times already. I think I need to hire a different repairman.
Did you try clearing the cache?
How old is the condenser? May unfortunately be time to replace.
I’m a couple of years away from that myself.. A/C systems don’t live too long in South Florida (got this one installed in 2009)
It’s the second outdoor unit, but it’s pretty old. But I would have to replace the entire thing, inside and out.
St. Louis cops beat up an undercover cop arrest and beat up an undercover cop posing as a protester
This seems like a win/win/win for everyone.
Okay, I officially have a severe brain injury. I’m going to drop out of here and go to Salon, maybe things will make more sense there.
This chick was convicted “outraging public decency” in the UK.
She blew a guy in a Domino’s Pizza store. Apparently, there were customers and employees around.
They convicted the guy, too.
Is it really obscene to get blown while you’re waiting for your pizza? I can think of worse ways to kill time while you wait, but if anything is obscene, sex in public is probably it.
I don’t know that there’s a libertarian angle to this. I’m just sayin’. This chick blew her date while they were waiting for a pizza.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-41354529
I don’t really have anything else to add except maybe the observation that putting tattoos on your chest like that is a bad move. I’m someone who can find tattoos attractive–done right in the right locations. That part of the chest is a no-go tattoo zone for me. It doesn’t matter if the tattoo is done well, I don’t want to see a tattoo there. I don’t know. To each his own, I guess.
Thank God for liberated women.
This chick had a really good excuse for what she did though. She said she was drunk at the time.
“I don’t know that there’s a libertarian angle to this.”
Was it New York or deep dish?
ENB would make it about how prostitutes are really sex workers somehow.
I’d point out that ENB’s coverage is really just slut shaming disguised as feminism.
It’d be hard to make that stick, what with the “slut” in question doing funny photos for the tabloids with pizza.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3082500/barmaid-filmed-romping-with-her-boyfriend-in-dominos-faces-arrest-but-fella-will-escape-police-action/
If slut-shaming is my fetish, can I bitch at someone for kink-shaming by their presenting ‘slut-shaming’ as a negative thing?
If I asked the above question to a so-called POC, I’d be in the wrong for asking them to educate me.
Erring on the right side of the woke-policing is hard.
Well, I’m sweaty and annoyed at my HVAC. But I’m still sure prostitutes are sex workers. That’s just set theory.
No idea how ENB’s coverage is slut-shaming?
Sounds like it was more than a BJ, though. And posting the sexy snaps probably didn’t help her case.
You’re supposed to post these kind of stories in Pidgin.
I’ve done that on a ferris wheel (I was drunk at the time). I guess it wasn’t public-enough. Also there were no children around; it was at a music festival. See, you need at least to attempt to try to be discreet about it. Also: avoid (other people’s) children, just as a general rule. And maybe try a better pizza place next time. Domino’s? Fuck it, lock them up.
I recommend a Chicago Pizza shop. Classier. Realer pizza. Fewer children.
When I was in boarding school, it was coed–two girls for every guy. But they had alarms on the the girls’ dorm windows. And getting caught with a girl could lead to all sorts of bad things happening. I once got a week of hard labor.
Anyway, once a month, there’d be a home leave, and a bunch of us all lived in DC. So, we’d all get on the bus. It was the only time guys and girls were allowed around each other unsupervised. What everybody did out in the open on the ride between the Shenandoah Valley and DC on that bus was disgusting. There were people going for it in every other seat.
We were all angels once we got off the bus to see the parental units and meet the girlfriend’s dad, but the bus ride there looked like being on tour with Zeppelin circa 1975.
Hahaha. Eddie Haskell x “Story of the Eye”
Where did you go to boarding school Ken? I went to VES.
Well, to be fair, being in Bridlington any time of the year should get you some leniency.
Could have been worse, they could have been marooned in Harlech.
I dunno. Have you ever been to Brid? I’ve been in both, and I’m not sure Harlech’s worse.
Can’t you admit that SOME things about England are better than Wales? Even if “Better” is “Fucking miserable”?
I was trying to be nice for once! Brid is probably worse; I Blake the proximity to Scotland.
Blake thought Jesus went to Glastonbury.
Blake thought, said and write a lot of nutty shit.
You may thank me later.
Yes, that’s the poem.
What does ‘around’ mean? In the same building? I mean did she just do it right there in front of the sales counter?
She was drunk? That means she actually the victim and couldn’t have consented, so the blowee must be arrested for rape. What the hell is wrong with the Limeys now, I thought they had this shit down? There losing the race with the Australitards again.
Did you even watch the security cam video? I did, for um, research. I didn’t want to comment on something I had no knowledge of. They did more than just oral. (Also, it was right in front of the counter).
Well, I clicked that link now. Before I only knew there was one link. Looks like a classic case of soccer hooligan and pizza tramp to me. Nothing to see here, move along.
Based on the other pics, it looks like their goal is to be “famous”. I bet they show up on Big Brother UK or something next season.
It might not have been their goal, but they’re definitely trying now to make the most of their chance 15-minutes.
Yeah, they were going out of their way to be obnoxious and disrespectful. I sympathize with the workers.
Puking on the streets of Ibiza every summer is so over, so they wanted to take it up a notch.
Many of the chavs and slappers from the Septic Isles now see the Greek islands as better value.
I was at a festival today and saw a beautiful girl in short shorts with gorgeous legs – all marked up with tattoos. Yes, they’re her legs and she can do what she wants with them, but it just rustles my jimmies to see something beautiful gone to waste. It’s the same feeling I get when I see someone mixing fine cognac with Pepsi.
Agreed. Tatts are for seamen or convicts. OTOH they are an excellent marker of raging narcissism, so they do have a use.
Yup. I’ve documented my opinion many times on here, but I’ve never seen a tat that improved its “canvas.” I’ve seen some very nice looking tattoos, but never one that improved the person’s look. (Maybe one that disguises a scar would change my opinion, but I’ve never seen one of those) In some senses, I respect people with full sleeve tats more than the 45 year old soccer mom with a flower on her shoulder. At least the sleeve tatted folks tend to have interesting stories like “I was in a band” or “I was a heroin dealer.” The 45 year old soccer mom is stuck with evidence of her midlife crisis. At least her husband can sell his corvette when he realizes how ridiculous he is.
That’s just because young people are disproportionately narcissistic and young people these days get more tattoos. There’s correlation and overlap, but ‘this person has tattoos’ isn’t really a sufficient condition to determine their narcissism.
Maybe I’m just biased because all my friends have tattoos. They didn’t do it because they’re narcissists (even if they are). They just like how it looks—because it’s familiar and commonplace and therefore inevitably associated with things they like (music, friends, etc.).
I still personally will never get a tattoo, though. I’m sure I’d wake up one day and try to slash it off with a knife.
So do mine.
Obligatory:
http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences5/tattoos
I can kind-of appreciate a well-designed, well-executed inking on a limb, but there’s a fine line between that and a huge “LOOK AT ME!!!”
Sadly, I sense that like so much recently, moderation in ink is becoming passe.
I have Y Ddraig Goch tattooed on my left shoulder. Just in case you didn’t hate me enough already.
I don’t need a fraction of an ounce of ink as an excuse to hate you …..
Rydw i’n falch.
I approve.
Map of tattoo meanings.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/60/a2/73/60a27304070200c2102583e1932e3c4b–tattoo-placements-funny-things.jpg
Heh
Rimfire conversions are nightmares, but yes, your biggest variable is the ammo brand and loading. The cases – and quality of cases – vary a lot, even within manufacturers batches (when they’re not CCI)
This is a GSG; I think I paid 120 bucks for it a couple of years ago. Tried it a few times and tossed it on the shelf. The mags were a horrible fit. I finally got around to doing a test “customization” using JB Weld. Success. Now I need to do the other mag. I just pulled the whole thing apart and knocked all the sharp edges off and tweaked he slide stop so the lockback works, et c. I won’t panic until I fish a box of mini mags out of the “other” ammo stash and try them.
After I was done fucking with the .22 stuff, I swapped the real top on and ran a few rounds of .45 through it. Satisfying.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4911062/Melania-Trump-wears-flannel-garden-White-House.html
I can’t believe a fashion model married to a billionaire would buy expensive clothes.
I like how the article is all amazed that she knows how to pick vegetables. Maybe her family had a garden in Slovenia when she was a kid? It’s not that hard, besides.
SECRET MEXICAN
SNF (Secret Nazi Flotus)
I don’t think that as a kid in Slovenia, she would have enjoyed much of a privileged life, unless she was being lined up as some entertainment for the local Big Man, or was the progeny of a Big Man.
It’s almost like these people can only view the American Aristocracy as some kind of monolithic group, and foreigners are just like some schlub from Minnetonka whose only difference is they can’t speak English.
People from Minnetonka speak English? They had barely mastered grunts when I was there.
Or maybe I was to drink to Westland them. One or the other.
Between the beer and my phone, I’m just gonna stop posting for a while.
From a quick wiki scan seems she was fair to middling in the privileged department, father a Manager in a state run industry, modeling since she was six, yadda, yadda, I don;t get the rags to riches vibe, but then again so what? she got hers, good on ya honey, also This picture
Minnetonka? Uffda. It may not be Edina, but it is pretty close to being just as hoity toity. Wouldn’t use the word “schlub” to refer to any of those rich Minnesodans.
Marge: Just a Diet Coke, please. [they take a seat at the booth] This is a nice place.
Mike: Yah, ya know it’s the Radisson, so it’s pretty good.
Marge: So, you’re livin’ in Edina, now?
Mike: Oh, yah, couple years now. It’s actually Eden Prairie, that school district. So Chief Gunderson, then! So ya went and married Norm Son-of-a-Gunderson!
Marge: Oh, yah, a long time ago.
That’s hilarious. That’s what I would if I were obscenely rich, tbh. Getting dirty? Time to put on my finest swag.
And look good in them? That’s what really pisses off the left. All their women are ugly. I mean Hillary only had a couple of choices in Mao pantsuits, a difference color or the double wide +++ for a little more cankle room.
Michelle Obama wore ludicrously expensive designer clothes while doing mundane things, yet somehow that made the press proclaim her to be some kind of fashion icon.
Yeah, but those were given to her by those designers.
I’m so fucking sick of the people whining about NFL players taking a knee during the national anthem. I’m also so fucking sick of the people whining about the people whining about the NFL players taking a knee during the national anthem. I’m so fucking sick of both sides pretending they agree with free speech/pretending they agree with limits on free speech on a subject that was already litigated in the Supreme Court 70 years ago. And I’m fucking sick of the President using his platform to complain about everybody’s speech and I’m fucking sick of …. I’m fucking sick of everybody.
Suicide is looking like a better and better option lately.
Good thing the Democrats stayed out of it or maybe it’d be an even bigger pile of shit.
They’re who I was referring to in the “pretending they agree with free speech” bit.
The Democrats pretended to agree with free speech? That’s something new. Oh yeah, they also pretended to agree with the Constitution after the election, that was interesting.
Honestly, I have to blame the left. Yes, Trump should have kept his mouth shut and just let these idiots self destruct. But as always, you have a few guys doing this to protest, I’m assuming, police brutality. But just like BLM, it didn’t take the race baiters long to show up and turn it into something about race. Then Trump starts up, and as always the Democrats overreact and make it all about Trump. I’d really just like to watch some foozball without the extra helping of derp.
I really don’t give a shit, mostly because I don’t see it as disrespectful to kneel or raise a fist during the national anthem.
(though for shits and giggles, some Republican-leaning NFLers could go to the pre-WWII custom of the roman salute of the flag. Now that would get people talking)
I read somewhere most of the players are Republican-leaning.
Bloomberg’s saying fans are blue
I don’t know
Big over generalization from Bloomingturd. But my guess is that if the Democrats really think all of those guys are going to kneel in a big proggie love fest, they’re going to be very disappointed, yet again.
I think their article has some of the same polling issues we’ve seen lately.
There’s nothing these jackasses will not try to ruin with politics.
I don’t care about that either. Sometimes all the gesturing does start to annoy me though. Not that I want it to be banned. But sometimes I do wonder when del Rio is going to tell Lynch to leave those damn skittles in the locker room and stop acting like he’s 10. I also used to get just as annoyed at baseball players chewing a big wad of baccer and spitting the nasty stuff all over.
Anyway that’s just a rant, not really serious.
What’s more annoying is that the left want to turn the NFL into some sort of trans ballet pageant. I had accidentally left the teevee on a channel( I just use it for background noise) and then I noticed that idiot Samantha Bee is on. She’s not funny, at all. But she’s a moron. She just makes these 2 part jokes like she thinks she’s on a sitcom, complete with the artificial like laughter. So she’s saying ‘Oh, the Trumpets are all upset because this announcer on ESPN calls them racists. But they’re not upset about 2 black men smashing each other’s heads in’. Really, she said that. But that’s totes not racist. And how exactly is it that she doesn’t realize that the audience of the NFL actually view in to see some occasional head smashing, and not some smug fucking SJW who knows nothing about football, criticize the game and call them racists? These people are insufferable.
Samantha Bee is the worst comedian I’ve ever seen. She was by far the worst correspondent ever on the Daily Show, and I hated the Daily Show. Her timing is simply atrocious, and she was like an unintentional parody of Jon Stewart’s reaction-comedy (nod and grumble affectedly, make smug facial expressions to the audience re: the interviewee’s toootaaallly ridiculous statements (without actually addressing those statements): the body-language equivalent of “wow, this guy”—this equals brilliant and hilarious rejoinder). It still astounds me that she gets so much acclaim.
If the first guy to kneel said he was doing it in solidarity with those vets who couldn’t stand, we would all be kneeling or getting the stink eye if we stood not vice versa.
Well now it’s all about Trump.
No, but like all narcissistic social signaling, it’s very tiresome.
I always tell people prog friends if they were serious they would organize and elect new sheriff’s etc. They always say they shouldn’t have to do that it, the government should just change them.
They shouldn’t have to put in effort. It should just happen. (Right side of history, right?)
Whenever I point out to “progressives” that their policies are fucking over average people, the answer I always get is, “well, if they don’t like it, they can change it any time by voting!”
But it’s funny how that answer isn’t satisfactory when there’s some law (or president) that they don’t like. Instead, they always claim that the results of those elections are somehow not legitimate because legislators were paid off by “big corporations” or the Russians hacked the election or something kooky shit like that.
The only reason why this has any power at all is because the right goes into “OMG YOU HATE MURICA” hysterics whenever these guys do this stuff. That’s the point, it’s to solicit outrage and make people pay attention to them. A smarter reaction is just to go ‘whatever’ and completely eliminate its utility to their opponents. I guarantee you if these people are ignored it will happen less.
Well, if you’re tired about hearing about NFL players, how about hearing all this except with NBA players instead!?
Wypipo SMDH
More proof of hockey being the only good sport out there. Although I’m sure soon enough there’ll be a Stanley Cup Champion team that’ll social signal with “We aren’t going to a White House with that evil, disgusting, misogynistic Trump occupying it!”
I believe Tim Thomas skipped the meet n greet with Obama.
Honestly, though, who gives a fuck? It’s a silly tradition.
You’re not doing it right.
First you kill everybody else, then yourself. God.
The last Vikes game I went to (back in the Dome) was on Veteran’s Day. Every seat had one of those cards that we were supposed to hold up to make a flag or something.
When the time came I left mine sitting on the ground. I got stink eye from a lot of the people around me. One old lady got really mad and started telling me that I was supposed to hold the sign or I didn’t support the troops.
That set me off and I told her that I had served in the Corps. Had she? No. Her husband? No. Kids? No. So shut up and leave me alone.
The stinkeye-ers wouldn’t even look at me anymore. The son was laughing because he knew what was coming because he has seen my contrarian act too many times.
Truly one of the best aspects of being a veteran – telling people to piss off at silly symbolic “support the troops ” events. I gave at the office, sparky.
Probably a joke, but it’s freaking hilarious:
https://twitter.com/davelozo/status/911732025249423361
btw John T are you on twitter? I see a few other folks using the same name.
No Twitter, can’t stand it.
Suicide’s an Alternative
A blog: what is a good, curative drink for a cold that uses apple cider? I woke up with a runny nose and have steadily felt worse all day. I’d like to use up the Apple cider.
Apple cider can be used to make a hot toddy. That’s the best I can come up with, short of fermenting it and getting drunk enough that you don’t care how you feel.
100 proof whiskey with lemon and honey works best. After a couple of those, just forget the lemon and honey and finish the bottle.
Then you won’t care if you’re sick or not! My kind of solution.
Excellent suggestion. That is my preferred cold medicine.
hot toddy.
Mix in Calvados. Then a bit more Calvados. Rinse. Repeat.
Calvados will fix just about anything that ails you.
Ooh. I don’t have Calvados, but I do have brandy. Thank you all for the suggestions.
Get your hands on some Applejack (distilled cider), and make a hot toddy, best recipe that I’ve found is the following:
1.5 ounce liquor (since you’re referencing apple cider, again… for you, applejack)
1 tablespoon honey
1 dash ginger
1 dash cinnamon
1 dash clove
juice of 1/4 lemon
1 cinnamon stick
hot water
Take a mug, put in the honey, liquor, lemon juice, and spices. Top with hot water (just below boiling), and stir until mixed. Garnish with the cinnamon stick. Drink and enjoy.
Apple cider and FIreball.
“Q. How do I diffuse this?: I’m a female truck driver who has one pickup and one delivery customer, so I see the same people multiple times a day. I apparently read one fella’s signals wrong and asked him to accompany me to a concert. Before I even got the whole question out he looked panicky, was shaking his head, and said, “No, thank you.” I really regret asking him because then he got super weird—he even started using his co-workers as chaperones! I didn’t have a chance to let him know I was cool with his refusal, as he kept getting the chaperones. So I wrote him a note and stuck it where I knew he’d find it. He stopped with the chaperones, and we were almost normal.
That was a couple months ago. A few days ago I discovered that one of my co-workers was talking about me with this man—he’s so freaked out it’s ridiculous! I have been nothing but polite, decent, and respectful, yet that doesn’t seem to mean anything to him. Do I speak to him? Ignore it? Help!”
These female super predators need to be cleansed of their toxic femininity. What she did is rape, I’m sure.
The first time I read that, I missed the part that said she was a female truck driver. I thought it was a gay truck driver and was stunned a) that it was even allowed to be printed because everyone knows gayz are the best and b) that the response wasn’t an over the top screed about what a monster that customer was.
Then I realized it was a female and it all became clear again.
Jesus Christ ‘Black’ is a hilariously retarded mess of a social justice comic.
Poe’s Law in full effect here.
Sorry, I can’t sit through these youtubes with people talking for 20 minutes.
I usually just have it on in the background like a podcast. The only real bit worth watching is the tasteless cover of hanged black men like the author thinks its the 1890s.
I follow shoe0nhead, Blaire White, and Lauren Southern. I like my youtubes like my women — cute, funny, and over in seven minutes.
..thought you’s be a SugarTits kinda guy …
No, but Ozzie Man can be entertaining:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePG6zUYvUZg
God fucking damn straight!
Yanet Garcia’s and Ozzie Man’s one year anniversary..
And sometimes actually male?
Not to me, but whatever.
I would appreciate HM’s profound wisdom on the ultimate question:
Are traps gay?
Seriously, if you can’t put on Nerkish in the background while you do something else – the delivery alone is hilarious every single vid. Better by far than Diversity & Comics (although his vids are better overall for general information, comics background info, etc).
“And then Macy Gray is singing her number-1 hit ‘Work It’.”
lol
Wow, that’s hilarious. If that was written by wypipo you know it’d be blasted for making every single black character a total stereotype.
I dont get it. Samantha Bee is still on teevee? What the hell. Nothing she does is remotely funny. She stands up there with “Trump is a poopyhead, amirite?! Can you believe what he said? He’s a poopyhead!” Then they play a laugh track. Really, who thinks that’s funny? I watched for five minutes and never changed the expression on my face.
For that matter I watched a Jimmy Kimmel routine the other night that wasn’t much different. Are there any prominent comedians left that are funny?
Jokes are about making fun of offensive or frightening things so I suppose there aren’t any. You cant tell a joke without being called a somethingist anymore.
Comedy is dead.
Hold on while I whip my pants off and prove you wrong.
Remember comedy is tragedy + time, so you may have to stare at it for a while.
Tragedy is when I get a paper cut on my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
— Mel Brooks
He must have written that more than 20 years ago because it made me giggle.
It’s the Two Minutes Hate for the modern-day Left. They need to constantly remind themselves and others how much they hate the wrongthinkers like Trump.
Also, I concluded that Jimmy Kimmel is a piece of human trash ever since he had that segment about taking blind people to the gun range and told one of them, “oh my god, you shot your guide dog!”
“You shoot like a Democrat.”
Dying is easy.
Comedy is hard.
Therefore, comedy is easy. . . And..hard?
Comedy’s out there, you just have to look beyond that corporate, politically correct, sanitized bullshit. Go see a local standup routine or open mic. Some of them will suck, but some of them will restore your faith that not everyone is a complete asshole prog bootlicker.
Until someone sics the Woke Police on them.
Meh, I get more laughs here than anywhere else. People here are assholish, snarky and irreverent. I like that.
Norm, Chappelle and Louis CK all had new standup specials on Netflix this year, and while they were among each comedian’s worst routines, they were still all pretty good. Louis’ bit on abortion/pro-lifers was hilarious. ‘Of course they’re protesting. They think it’s killing babies!’ You can tell he sees through the bullshit obfuscation of political culture and how it disingenuously homogenizes swathes of people; and that he can empathize with people he disagrees with. To the extent that statements that should be fucking obvious go so often unstated and unheard that when they finally are stated (by a great comedian) they’re hilarious.
At least we still have Mel Brook.
+1 Mr. ENB
Meh, not all humor has to be ‘edgy’. Situational, observational humor can be funny, If you only find humor in insulting other people you may have issues beyond the lack of modern day Don Rickles. Also I believe Doug Stanhope is still touring, and Ann Coulter/Milo Yipinipolounios are more or less right wing comedianettes.
It doesnt have to be edgy, no. It has to be clever.
Humor is leading someone down a logical path and at the end revealing that the destination was somewhere they didn’t expect. Preaching political propaganda doesnt really meet that criteria.
It has to be clever says you, Poppy head.
Suthen, you seem like an outdoor type. Have you ever read Patrick McManus? He used to write the column for Outdoor Life. He is a fantastic humorist.
Most of his columns have been put into several books. Start with “A Fine and Pleasant Misery”.
I think the story he wrote about his dog might be one of the best ever written about the love for a dog.
A Dog for All Seasons.
Yes, I am. No, I haven’t. I will have a look, thank you.
Didn’t he do “They shoot horses don’t they” or other collections from Sat. Evening Post, etc?
They shoot canoes, don’t they?
“They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” was written by Horace McCoy. Early Crime/noir ,I don’t think too many people would consider it a comedy.
“They shoot canoes, do they” was his book.
He might have been published in a lot of other stuff. I always read him in Outdoor Life as a kid.
One more quote about his old mentor Rancid Crabtree who took Pat hunting and fishing as a kid.
“Rancid Crabtree”
What a name
Patrick McCanus was a treasure to read. It was the only reason I read OL during the “fishing issues” time of the year.
It depends on what type of comedy you’re looking for. There’s still good stuff out there, and there’s good new stuff coming out as well. If you like dark comedies, ook towards stuff like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, it’s about a terrible group of people doing terrible things (generally to each other), but they have the characters down and they are able to work the timing of the jokes. Bojack Horseman is probably one of the bleakest comedies out there, with more jokes in the background design then some sitcoms have in entire episodes. Finally, even if they aren’t making new stuff, the classics still hold up. I remember hearing the laughter of a kid who I introduced to the entire Who’s on First skit when the kid was in his 20’s. I still don’t think I can make it through the whole thing without laughing.
Uffda. Just had a ray of sunshine in my life.
I work at a giant corp. One of their favorite things to do is to have a giant survey every two years to determine what we are doing right/wrong. The surveys are anonymous, but they track how many people did the survey and it impacts the reviews of our HR person (who is fantastic).
Last time, I didn’t do it because I figured if upper management wanted to know how things are going, they could manage. This time I felt I had to complete it because I didn’t want the HR gal to get dinged. Wonderfully, the survey did not require you to actually enter values. So I was able to hit the “Next” button a few times and now everyone is happy.
BTW, the results of these surveys are serious shit for us. We will have an onsite meeting when the results are ready to put in solutions for fixing the problems that were identified.
99 times out of 100 the “solution” put forth to a “problem” in the survey data is some sort of HR make-work program. Inspirational videos, Intra-company social media, morale improvement webinar.
Of course, the reason people are unhappy is because they’re underpaid, overworked, and all the office amenities got cut to pay for insiprational videos, intra-company social media, and morale improvement webinars.
Our office is moving to “bullpen” style seating. In a frickin’ legal department. Y’know, those folks who are on the phone all day. Maybe clusters of 12 desks aren’t the best way to seat people who are constantly doing confidential and highly sensitive work.
Open offices suck. But they’re cheap, so it won’t be easy to get companies to change back even as productivity continues to drop.
It’ll be interesting to see what happens. Evidently it took negotiation just to get assigned desks instead of first come-first served seating.
Our current corporate culture frowns on working from home too much, but there’s nothing that we can’t do from home. If the new setup is unworkable, people will just stop showing up, even if they get mean emails from security saying they haven’t badged into the building enough.
Our legal department has also been losing attorneys at a breakneck pace, so a crappy work environment will amplify that problem.
I feel your pain. I hate talking on the phone with my clients when I know someone can hear it.
I’ve been at my company for 20 years, three different locations: in each new office the cube walls are shorter and shorter. And now I (a programmer) am sitting next to help desk people. Who are on the phone all day long. And the nearest one has a habit of standing up during phone calls, apparently in order to project his voice into my ear even harder. It really is maddening.
Couple years ago, the IT group I was in held a big leadership meeting to discuss an upcoming re-org; one of the agenda items was discussing the build out for the space they’d be getting in a new building. All the talk was about people getting space where they could concentrate; glass walls, separate collaboration areas, blab blah blah. They actually build it, and it’s completely open. Low wall cubes, and about a third don’t even get a cube, they get a seat at on open bench, staring at the goober on the other side.
Happily, I moved out of that group before the moved into the new space.
Good lord. I hope this madness ends before I retire. I’m tired of my productivity being shot to shit.
My idiot company has moved to 120 degree open cubicles (so 3 to a pod) from previous standard cube farms.
Fortunately I work in a remote location and share a 20ft x 20ft enclosed locked office with one other guy who’s both easy to work with and also gone quite a bit. Every once in a while I’ll look at openings elsewhere and then think about those open cubes and shitcan that idea.
I just had to complete an “optional” health assessment via our health insurance company for my work. I’m not happy about it. It says the results are confidential but will be shared with my employer (what ????).
I had decided to just say fuck it, because it’s none of my employer’s business about my health history and I really resent this.
Then I started getting a flood of emails from HR. Personal emails directed to me that I haven’t completed the “optional” assessment and I need too. Then my boss forwarded me an email sent to him from HR about not completing it.
In the end, I just did it because I didn’t want to make any waves and didn’t realize how seriously they took it.
Most companies just charge you a lot more for your insurance and/or raise your deductibles if you fail to do it.
This. Next year, the health assessment won’t be optional, unless you want to “optionally” pay $20 more per pay in premiums.
Last year, the company says “fatties and hypertensives have to do a step-counting program in Q3 to avoid paying more for insurance in Q4.” This year, everybody has to do the stupid step-counting BS.
This crap needs to be completed separated from employment. I am sick and fucking tired of being badgered with the piles of emails from HR. My medical history & condition should be none of their goddamn business.
There was a surcharge for not completing the assessment that was actually pretty close to $20 per pay period. I was fine with that for the same reason I pay for a VPN and paid a surcharge to be unlisted back when I had a landline. I figured I could just pay the surcharge and that would be the end of it.
Instead it was an eerily similar situation to buying fire insurance from the mafia. I can’t say that I was explicitly forced, but at the same time, it was made clear that signing was in my best interest.
Words don’t really mean anything anymore. They’re just supposed to make you feel more comfortable with coercion and control.
Similarly, taxes are voluntary.
That’s fucked up. That can’t be legal.
Employee engagement is important to us and so is knowing who is unhappy.
Sincerely
Jimbo’s Mgmt.
I worked for a large defense contractor after I got done my undergrad. After I was there about a year and a half, and had started looking for new work, the company sent out a survey to all employees that had graduated within the last five years. The survey said that the company noticed that recent college hires, on average, didn’t stay for more than two years. The company was curious why and wanted to know what it could do to improve the situation.
I filled out the survey. My number one complaint was low salary.
All of us that filled out the survey received the results. The number one complaint was low salary. Somewhere in the middle was the condition of the office. As background, the company had recently laid a lot of people off and shifted work around the country. As part of the changes, they had cut back on maintenance and cleaning in some offices. Benefits that dot-com companies were offering at the time (this was the late 90s by the way) were scattered all over from middle to the bottom..
The company stated what they would do with the results. It would invest in building maintenance and cleaning. It would consider adding some benefits that dot-com companies were offering. The company said nothing about salary.
A few months later I took a job in the private sector. The pay raise, before I factored in lower commuting costs and lower taxes (working in MA vs. working in NH as I lived in NH), was about 46%. A couple of months after I took the new job, the defense contractor contacted me about coming back. I turned them down.
10:1 that not a single one of these is real.
Single one of what?
Oh, you mean the actual ZARDOZ story. I was thinking you SF’d a FLBP link. Never mind, ignore me.
Can we get a Grace Park appreciation day around here?
https://www.google.com/search?q=grace+park&prmd=inv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi04v2OxLzWAhUJ2mMKHUqqDzAQ_AUIESgB&biw=533.3333333333334&bih=800&dpr=1.5
I’ve got a Korean wife already (who is nearly as shiny). When I turn the Male Gaze on other women, I want to look at tall blondes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GYykNZbz5U
(I’m in a mood, can you tell?)
I’m not sure who I hate more. Donald Trump, for being an absolute piece of shit who, in the end, is just like every other fucking politician, or the left, which continually makes me defend said piece of shit.
Burn the fucking system to the ground. I don’t care any more. Hoping for North Korean missiles at this point. Just speed up Fallout’s World War III by 60 years.
Shh, shh, stare at your waifu until the bad thoughts go away.
SMOD 2016 was a thing for a reason.
Or as we yokels anagram it: MAGA
OT from a discussion in the morning links:
People were talking about driving past a “random drug search zone” on the highway and wondering about how that could be legal. From my understanding, it isn’t, and cops don’t actually run them. What they do instead is they put up signs, then look for people who change their route/ditch contraband/act otherwise suspicious and then bust those people for doing that. Complete bullshit, but if you ever see one of these, just drive on normally and you’ll be ok.
Interesting. I had not heard that before.
Dear ZARDOZ,
Does the gift of the gun come with a receipt so I can send it in to the manufacturer for one those sweet sweet rebates being offered?
Signed,
Have Grain, Will Travel
Band at bar singing ‘I fight authority and authority always wins”. What kind of bullshit is that!
I fought the law and the law won?
He’s been doing it since he was a young kid
Is your problem that they are covering a John Cougar Mellancamp Cougar song ,or that it isn’t the Pink Houses one?
I’d have accepted Jack and Diane
“Jack and Diane” is not a bad song. It’s probably the only one of Mellencamp’s that doesn’t drive me up a wall.
^This
The “Pink Houses” one is truly shit.
It’s more of a little ditty than a song.
He’s got good songs, he suffers from ‘rock stations play the same three songs over and over again so you get sick of the sound of his voice syndrome’
“I fought an ambiguously phrased law, hired a high powered team of attorneys and was able to avoid prosecution whereas a person of lesser means and fewer political connections would have been nailed to the for the same behavior.”
Sounds legit
Ein Maß Edelstoff.
Bitte, noch einmal.
Dim, rydych chi wedi cael digon.
NEIN!
Some person to DEG: “Bitte, noch einmal?”
DEG: “Nein, danke.”
Checked out my FB for the first time in a week. The big meme going around is “Whycome Trump talking about Kapernick instead of real problems!”.
This from people who have flooded the page with “I’m with Kap!” for the past half year.
It’s not wrong when they do it.
In their defense 2013 Trump agrees with them.
Oh, I agree it’s a waste of time. The pettiness of all of them is boring. The most active people on my FB that constantly post SJW crap are total losers in meatspace. I’ve known some of them for 30, 40 years and they have been manipulative assholes the whole time.
I stumbled on this wartime training video on booby traps. I was reminded of my grandfather (RIP).
He told me once, that while he was in Europe after D-Day, orders came down from on-high to not take any prizes or souvenirs from dead Germans because of booby traps. At some point, he came across a dead German officer who had a Luger pistol in his hand. He checked for booby traps, and finding none, decided to take the Luger despite orders.
When he was wounded at Bastogne, the medics stole the Luger, his boots, and other stuff from him.
That’s great.
The cartoon not your gdad having his stuff stolen.
I figured that’s what you were talking about.
My great-grandfather ended up with a ton of Nazi paraphernalia due to his service. Lots of Nazi rings and what-not. When he died my family sold them immediately to whomever was interested. It somewhat pisses me off, because that shit would be worth a lot more in 2017 than 1993 and I’m willing to sell shit to neo-Nazis.
Wow. Yeah, that stuff would be worth more today than in the 90s. However, depending on the will and/or local laws, they might not have had a choice.
I remember some of what you said about Germans and your relatives on another thread. I don’t remember which one beyond that it was dead by the time I caught up to it. Interesting how people have different perspectives. My grandfather, who fought the Germans in Europe and was almost killed by them at Bastogne, had no animosity that I could tell against Germans. True, most of his ancestry was German, but no animosity that I could tell.
My great-grandfather was actually on my French-Metis side, he fought for the Canadians in the war and took part in the liberation of the Netherlands. My other side of my family, my dad’s side, were Dutch farmers who clearly appreciated the Canadian forces for showing up to liberate them. My grandfather actually ended up being drafted immediately after the war, to fight in Indonesia to defend Dutch colonial possessions. Once he came home and found that his land had been taken over by the government for some reason he decided it was time to get the fuck out (although he had applied for U.S. immigration in the 30s, but was rejected). I have a weird background where one side of my family came to this country in the 1600s while my other side showed up in the 1950s.
(Though I suspect you’ll never read this because old thread)
<fx: Nelson Muntz>
HA HA!
I read it!
PieInTheSky, if you’re out there, I finally read your Romanian beer article. Thanks! My list of beers to try has grown even larger.
Really, you missed saying that your beer list has grown even lager?
This is what happens when I post after drinking too much.
I entertain you guys when I’m drunk. I’m trapped in the office. Someone say something offensive please.
Piss off you fscking bastard. I’ll glass you if you look at me again.
*buys straffinrun a beer*
That’s not offensive. That’s every night.
*sigh*
I’ve only had to dodge glassings twice in my life.
If only it was every night.
Something offensive?
A part of me is tempted to fuck Huma Abedin?
How’s that?
What Happened.
DEG masturbates to Sugarfree.
Angela White (Aussie porn star, that should be your hint concerning work safety) usually fares largest in my masturbatory fantasies, but sometimes I go off the reservation.
You don’t know pleasure until you’ve watched Angel Merkel parody porn.
*pukes*
Wow. I sometimes go off the reservation, but not that far off the reservation.
Did you see the shit Hilary left in there?
Fuck you, you fucking fuck. What the fuck do you think I am? You damn piece of shit. I ain’t here to entertain you. I’m here for you to tell me about molesting japanese school girls on the train; not for me to entertain you. You’re my fucking dancing monkey, I’m not yours gaijin,
Threats aren’t offensive to me. Now, micro aggressions? Triggered.
You fucking nazi pizza shit. Don’t even talk to me unless you got a story about a hot Japanese lady. You fucking race traitor white devil.
This is what happens when you read Shogun really high.
Shogun Warriors?
Is this some weird BDSM thing?
I have to admit, giant robots showing up during this would be pretty badass.
Also, does anyone here play a lot of Shogun 2 Total War like me? I need a strategy for naval combat so I don’t fucking kill myself micromanaging every battle.
HM, who knows what the fuck is going on over there in Japan. Straif is prolly licking his bosses eyeball while they discuss rolling out the new sex dolls.
Yo Momma So Ugly, when she goes in the strip club they pay her to keep her clothes on.
Like that? that’s all I got on Sat night.
Fair enough. She’s 75 years old.
I once fucked a beautiful Nippon girl, and she refused to be associated with me. At that point I realized the degeneracy of the Nips.
Nature’s equivalent to Glibertarians.
I was expecting those murderous Japanese hornets.
NAP.
I consider it a hostile take-order more than anything else, those bees don’t exactly have an intelligence on par with even the lowest IQ point.
Only people kill without reason, except other primates.
of course, I just pulled that out of my ass to make the link seem more enticing,
Every species that has developed some form of social cohesion has immediately used that to fuck things up for other species.
They kill their own species, too.
One of the more entertaining parts of Guns, Germs, and Steel, is the discussion about anthropologists hanging out with tribal villagers.
So at first the anthropologists go into the rainforest and would write about how the tribes were one with nature. They learned to speak the native language and made friends with the native tribes. Then they would go back for a follow-up a year or so later, only to see that tribal members, X, Y, and Z were missing. So the anthropologists would start asking what happened to X,Y, and Z, and were told that they were killed in inter-tribal warfare, but hey no biggie since the tribe exacted revenge against the other tribe responsible for killing X,Y, and Z.
So the tribals were killing each other off at rates that make inner-city Chicago seem tame. It was just that the smaller populations meant that it wasn’t as immediately obvious to the anthropologists.
Goddam Amish!
Vanilla Ice radicalized them.
Link.
Acid ranged out like rain
I grabbed my litmus – all I heard was pH
Falling on the mall real fast
Jumped in my lab, slammed on the test tubes
Beaker to beaker, the bench is packed
Try to neutralize before the faces get jacked
Cations on the scene, you know what I mean
They passed me up, confronted all the base solutions
If there was a chemistry problem, yo, I’ll solve it
Check out the hook while ZARDOZ cleanses it!
Ice 9 baby, too cold, too cold.
Also I’m kind of surprise that nobody has claimed Vanilla Ice-9 as a rap handle. Seems like a good handle for a nerdcore rapper.
That should’ve been a response to CPRM’s monkey link.
The Amish are peaceful, good people. Except maybe during Rumspringa, but even then, they aren’t violent.
/reads article
Oh, you aren’t talking about the Amish.
WaPo wonders if “Rocket man” was an insult or compliment.
Ugh.
I had a proggie tell me today it was because Trump couldn’t pronounce King Jung Un. I let them have those small victories, cuz either way it’s funny.
Sorry, Freudian slip there; revealed preference, I want Kim Jung Ill to rule the world? Not sure how this works.
Yeah, Colbert put that out and his foot soldiers parroted it all over social media.
The left used to have humor; now they just want war.
I have very few complaints about his UN speech. Most of it was glorifying the Westphalian system, and his rhetoric in regards to North Korea was fine in the context of realpolitik. I give it a pass solely because people like Obama or Trudeau have demeaned the organization. He’s no Haile Selassie, but he’s better than those vapid fucks.
Last
Nope.