Monday Afternoon Is It Football Yet Links

Man, the games yesterday were really, really, really bad. I have a purple and black paper bag to put over my head when SP and I go to Lambeau to see the Rodgers-free packers take on the Ravens and Joe Flaccid. The other games were no better- just piss poor play. If I’m ever made King, I will take five actions:

  1. Get rid of all domes and artificial turf.
  2. Have all Superbowls schedled for outdoor stadiums in snow zones.
  3. Fuck parity: no salary caps and reduce the number of teams by 50%. Eliminate any team playing in warm winter climates.
  4. Get rid of the pussy rules that make hard hitting old fashioned football illegal.
  5. Not allow any TV coverage that talks about anthems, social justice, or anything other than football. And lose that horrible chick announcer with the air-raid siren voice, the one who makes my wife scream at the TV, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID TWAT!”

But like Charlie Brown every year, I know Lucy isn’t going to pull the ball away, so I’m going to watch Monday Night Football tonight. Enough ranting, let’s see what’s in the news.

Apropos to my post this past weekend about Dr. Strangelove, it’s time to buy stock in the company that makes CRM-114s. Abandon all hope, ye who foolishly thought that Trump would be less war-bonered than Obama or Clinton.

Do you feel the same contempt that I do about Chris Christie? Do you feel like you couldn’t lose any more respect for him as a human being, that your regard for him is at rock-bottom? Well, here’s a diamond-tipped drill to prove you wrong.

How do you sell out of the “Female Libertarian” costume when there are no female libertarians? Huh? This is some conspiracy shit up in here.

So let me get this straight- Progs make numerous death threats to the EPA boss, then complain when he increases security. Ohhhhh-kay.

A Jewish pedophile? This cannot be.

They named a dog Strudel, then were shocked that he got fat. Humans, hmpf.

And of course, obligatory Old Guy Music. The finest feminist anthem ever written. And seriously, listen to it all the way through. Trust the Old Man.

Comments

569 responses to “Monday Afternoon Is It Football Yet Links”

  1. Q Continuum

    https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/social-media-contributing-rising-teen-suicide-rate-n812426

    Very serious subject matter and this is certainly not to take away from the experience the young woman in the article had, but this is more “women and minorities hardest hit” nonsense. It’s also a great primer in how statistics, as misunderstood by laymen, can obscure truth. These two quotes:

    “An analysis by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in August found the suicide rate among teenage girls ages 15 to 19 hit a 40-year high in 2015. Between 2007 and 2015, the rates doubled among girls and rose by more than 30 percent among teen boys.” and:

    “while the number of girls who have killed themselves spiked in recent years, male teens still have higher rates of suicide.”

    Only by looking at the actual figure provided by the CDC can you see that the overall suicide rate for boys is almost 3x that of girls and male suicide rate actually rose more in absolute terms over the stated time period. The fact that it’s monotonically rising for both sexes is cause for concern, but I guess NBC wouldn’t publish it at all if it didn’t have the proper grievance angle.

    1. Q Continuum

      Also first, but not really cause it’s copypasta’d from the Morning Lynx. I go sit in corner now.

    2. grrizzly

      Back in college, I read Émile Durkheim’s book Suicide: A Study In Sociology. It was written in 1897. It remains much more relevant than anything I read in newspapers about suicide.

      1. Just Say’n

        Good book, but it also underlines the limitations of sociology. Durkheim’s conclusion that suicide is less prevalent in Catholic countries because of societal stigma and the lack of industry has been disproved. The suspect that the reason why suicide was less prevalent in Catholic countries was because of the stigma, suicides were classified as ‘accidents’ by sympathetic authorities.

        Just ask Franz Joseph how Rudolf died

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudolf,_Crown_Prince_of_Austria

  2. Playa Manhattan

    The female libertarian is cheaper that I would have expected.

    1. Just Say’n

      The costume can only be bought in bitcoins

    2. one true athena

      SHUSH, we’re trying to snare the unwary with our low starting price!

    3. Tundra

      Unfortunately it’s not in stock.

    4. Bobarian LMD

      It doesn’t exist, so price is immaterial.

      If you’re gonna play to someone’s fantasy, you might as well go whole hog.

  3. Just Say’n

    Nazi put out anti-Semitic cartoon mocking Alan Derschowitz

    https://twitter.com/ElliottRHams/status/922283745801129984/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailywire.com%2Fnews%2F22599%2Fuc-berkeley-student-newspaper-offers-vicious-nazi-hank-berrien%3Futm_source%3Dtwitter%26utm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_content%3D051717-news%26utm_campaign%3Ddwtwitter

    And by Nazis, I mean college kids, which are the closest things to Nazis we have today. They shut-down speeches they don’t like, they use political violence against differing views, and they draw anti-Semitic cartoons

    1. Plisade

      That is some seriously crappy artwork.

      1. SugarFree

        Seriously. It’s like someone trying to make a crappy-looking cartoon. Idiot probably thinks he’s being ironic or meta.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          No. This is actually well drawn for a Daily Cal cartoon it seems. Most of them are worse. Just scroll through, if you can make it.

          http://www.dailycal.org/section/opinion/cartoons/

          1. SugarFree

            Is it written over the bow? Is the bow transparent? Why is his hand bigger than his head? So many questions.

            http://www.dailycal.org/2017/09/25/wrong-type-package/

          2. SugarFree

            Oh, Jeebus… the guy who keeps making the New Yorker puns.

            These are all so terrible. Like a Spirograph getting fucked by a spastic.

          3. ChipsnSalsa

            Who is giving the package and who is receiving? I can only assume the white man (we’ll assume man) is giving to the POC as that is how the world works, white man using tricknology to trap a POC.

          4. Juvenile Bluster

            The white man is giving the strangely proportioned student of color a “gift” of a loan, which is secretly a trap that will catch the student of color with more debt, because when you borrow money you never expect that you’ll have to pay it back.

          5. SugarFree

            Hopefully the money will be used to fix his facial and distal limb hyperplasia.

          6. SugarFree

            Also, is the box see-through or cut-away or does the audience have x-ray vision or what?

          7. Bobarian LMD

            NEEDZ MOAR LABLZ!!

          8. SugarFree

            My family had a fisting plant in the house when I was a small child. I hated that thing. It moaned when you watered it.

            http://www.dailycal.org/2017/02/24/funding-needed-flourish/

          9. A plant that you fist, or a plant that fists you?

            Or is that an auto-correct typo?

          10. SugarFree

            Maybe if you weren’t spending so much money on full-color x-rays, you’d have money to get something to eat.

            http://www.dailycal.org/2017/02/17/matters-unlivable-wages/

          11. Juvenile Bluster

            I’m… sorry for giving you that link, SF.

          12. We did this to Payne and Bok every Friday morning on TOS.

          13. Juvenile Bluster

            These guys make Payne and Bok look like expert cartoonists.

      2. ChipsnSalsa

        Worse that Chip

        1. Lackadaisical

          Nopity nope nope. Chip is still the worst.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Why isn’t the Palestinian character wearing a suicide vest?

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      I’m shocked.

      SHOCKED.

      Okay, not that shocked.

      I am kind of surprised they haven’t either (a) taken it down with a sniveling apology or (b) written 15 op-eds about intersectionalism and how it’s not anti-Semitism it’s anti-Zionism and one from Students for Justice in Palestine talking about the brave freedom fighters fighting their oppressors and something about stolen land.

    4. Count Potato
      1. Just Say’n

        Hitler? Wait, I mean….me? It’s Hitler, right?

        1. Count Potato

          Yes, he died before URL’s were invented.

    5. Lackadaisical

      Is… is it really anti-semitic? Not seeing it honestly.

      1. MikeS

        I’ll back you up. I’m just not seeing the antisemitism, either. Anti-Israel, sure.

        1. Not Adahn

          It’s the “Jew is an inhuman monster using a disguise to be a man” trope.

          1. Lackadaisical

            Huh. He looks like a man to me.

            From my POV he’s just holding up a picture of “how Israel is” from a liberal POV (apparently), with what it really is (from the anti-zionist POV), is revealed behind.

  4. Just Say’n

    “Get rid of all domes and artificial turf.
    Have all Superbowls schedled for outdoor stadiums in snow zones.
    Fuck parity: no salary caps and reduce the number of teams by 50%. Eliminate any team playing in warm winter climates.
    Get rid of the pussy rules that make hard hitting old fashioned football illegal.
    Not allow any TV coverage that talks about anthems, social justice, or anything other than football. And lose that horrible chick announcer with the air-raid siren voice, the one who makes my wife scream at the TV, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID TWAT!””

    I would add get rid of helmets. Your concussion problem would go away overnight if no one were wearing helmets.

    1. Tundra

      I think there is some truth to that. I think a huge part of the concussion issues and other injuries in hockey are related to how good the gear has gotten. It used to hurt to hit and be hit.

      A little fear is healthy.

      1. Just Say’n

        I doubt there is a concussion epidemic in rugby

        1. SugarFree

          How could you tell? They decided to play rugby in the first place, didn’t they?

          [swiss glare shield in place]

          1. *prepares to ruck over SugarFree… forgets what he was doing and wanders off*

          2. bacon-magic

            *cheers for Swiss*

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Don’t worry, they can’t hear you with those cauliflower ears.

      2. Private Chipperbot

        Yup. See below.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        I remember the first time I strapped on an Air helmet. I dealt out a lot of punishment with that thing.

      4. Rasilio

        I don’t know my daughter plays hockey and got a concussion last night in her first practice of the year simply by falling on the ice.

        There might be a little merit to the argument in football where at least you have a somewhat soft grass to fall onto but in hockey no matter how carefully you play you are going to fall and when head hits hard ice at almost speed concussion is the result.

        Getting rid of the pads might cut down on concussions in hockey but the Helmets are pretty necessary.

    2. Private Chipperbot

      I would get rid of all hard shell padding. You’d have fewer injuries immediately.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        And require the goddamn skill players to actually wear pads below the waist. I believe one of the contributing factors to what at least seams like an influx of ACL and MCL injuries could be because dipshits are wearing only half the gear and are bigger, stronger and faster than ever.

    3. Raston Bot

      i think we’d see a quick spike in concussions, then a precipitous drop after all the dipshits who lead with their heads learn how to wrap up and tackle.

      1. I was taught to tackle by guys from several Commonwealth nations. I learned proper tackling. Wrap them and drop them. No bid to be on Sportscenter by blowing someone up.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          Hey. leave the dog out of this.

          1. GD edit fairy!

        2. Just Say’n

          Tackling is less of the problem though, as linesmen get most of the brain damage. But, they wouldn’t be knocking into each other head first if they didn’t have helmets.

          1. Private Chipperbot

            Maybe remove face mask. That would certainly make you want to keep your face out of things.

          2. DOOMco

            the problem is the hands coming at your face. I prefer having eyes.

          3. Just Say’n

            I guess that’s true. The line is really the problem with football. I don’t know how you would resolve that without radically changing the game.

          4. Playa Manhattan

            Kareem goggles.

          5. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Leather helmets would do the trick. There’d be a few fatalities at first but then things would settle down a bit.

        3. peachy rex

          We were taught better tackling technique in ankle-biter football than you see in the NFL. Basically the same stuff I was taught a few years later in rugby. (Bonus “kids these days are wusses compared to my day” story – we played full contact sevens in PE class. In middle school.)

      2. Bob

        It would not surprise me if the majority of concussions are from heads hitting the ground. I think you would occasionally see people killed without helmets.

    4. Is there a concussion problem in rugby?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Believe the research says there’s less of a chance than the NFL, but there are definitely concussions.

        This is the only link that I could find that isn’t a newspaper article, and it’s a very very small sample size. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC155428/

      2. Charlie Suet

        Yes. Or at least the IRB thinks so. At the moment you’ll get penalised and maybe ten minutes in the sin bin for any tackle above the armpit. And they still haven’t worked out how to make head injury assessments work. Technically you’re meant to go off if you’re suspected to have been concussed, but there’s plenty of coaches who would put a concussed player back on if necessary.

    5. Rhywun

      +1 Aussie rule

  5. bacon-magic

    And of course, obligatory Old Guy Music. The finest feminist anthem ever written. And seriously, listen to it all the way through. Trust the Old Man.

    I’m at work…
    *has sad*

    1. DEG

      It’s not bad. Listen to it when you get home.

      1. Right up there until he says ‘Warsh’.

        1. bacon-magic

          My local dialect!

          1. ChipsnSalsa

            Darkness warshed over the dude.

          2. bacon-magic

            Like he was covered in oirl.

        2. My mom said that all the time. And her spelling was terrible too.

  6. bacon-magic

    They named a dog Strudel, then were shocked that he got fat. Humans, hmpf.

    Yeah but does it bark at fat humans that are eating all the food in the house?

    1. Just Say’n

      I feel like you’re ‘off’ today, Bacon. This is what happens when there is no 11am article for Bacon to practice with. This is on you, administrators!

      1. bacon-magic

        Thanks. Yeah, bit busy for a Monday at work.

        1. Just Say’n

          No offense meant. I loves me some Bacon. *kisses*

          1. bacon-magic

            All good.
            (It’s an inside joke btw, I’m the fat guy in my story)

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Funny that she never did that to Swiss or Sugar Free or JW or jesse.in.mb or…

      I’m going to ask her to point with her paw to the place on the doll where bacon touched her.

      1. grrizzly

        Fat-shaming is always fun.

  7. Kristen needs to tell us the rest of the story:

    I agree. There are a myriad reason why someone wouldn’t be smiling at any particular moment. Telling someone to “smile!” is just being a jerk. I started feeling that way when I called my college apartment to get my answering machine messages and a cop answered, passed the phone to my roommate, and she said “Come. Home. Now.”

    (Apologies in advance if it’s something personal she doesn’t want to talk further about.)

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Probably an underwear burglary.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      this, tell us KK

    3. Sean

      Let’s hope it ends with an all girl pillow fight.

  8. kinnath

    The wife and I filed for our permits to carry today. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

    1. Negroni Please

      what are you gonna be carrying?

      1. kinnath

        Well, we’ll pay our membership at the range; we’ll rent guns; we’ll shoot guns; we’ll decide.

        Last time I was in, I really likde the Springfield 1911-A1 in 9 mm. I am leaning toward the Range Officer Compact in 9 mm. Although, I need to check out the Sig P938 too.

        My wife was in over the weekend for a woman-only course. They had 8 stations set up with two guns per station. There were actually too many guns to go through too fast to learn anything.

        1. Negroni Please

          Buy whatever you like BUT buying a 1911 in a caliber other than .45 actually sends you straight to hell to be tormented by the shade of John Moses Browing. Also buying a 1911 at all makes Vhyrus sad
          *flips Vhyrus the bird while gently stroking my beloved Springfield Loaded 1911*

          1. kinnath

            I expect that the two of use will each have a pair of handguns by Christmas — one for the range and one for carry. My initial plans are for a p938 and a compact 1911, both in 9 MM. There is plenty of time next year to buy a “true” 1911 in .45 ACP.

            Not sure what my wife is going to want to shoot.

          2. Negroni Please

            Ugh. Compact 1911 in 9mm? Talk about a deep dish abortion.

            To each their own though. There are a shitload of great compact 9mm on the market. I’m partial to the XDS. The wife carries a Kahr PM9. Don’t knock the itty bitty .380s either. My Ruger LCP spends a lot of time in my pocket because it’s fucking hot and I don’t want to wear a heavy rig.

            Whatever you get though, shoot the shit out of it and have fun.

            Welcome to the Libertarian Militia!

          3. Vhyrus

            He’s right on both counts. I can’t decide if my hatred of 1911s outweighs the schadenfreude of listening to Negroni’s anguished screams thinking about you carrying a 9mm 1911. I’ll have to look deep into my soul on this one.

        2. Tundra

          Bro bought the P225A and loves it. He’s of medium build and it carries well.

        3. Vhyrus

          I highly recommend you look into a s&w shield and/or a springfield xds before you commit to a 1911. They are both cheaper, lighter, and more user friendly.

          1. DOOMco

            Walther!

          2. Stinky Wizzleteats

            I’d you have to god forbid shoot someone at least be classy about it and use a revolver.

          3. kinnath

            My first day at the range, the instructor started me at five yards with a Sig M11-A1 (shooting single action) and the Glock 17. I had 11 out of 12 in the 10-ring. I had one flyer with the Glock.

            I said I want go back the Sig, but he smiled and asked if I wanted to try a 1911. I said sure, then put 15 straight in the 10 ring. I rather like the trigger.

            Money is not an issue. If I keep four pistols under $4k total, I’ll be happy.

          4. EvilSheldon

            You can never go wrong with a Glock 19. The new S&W M&P2.0 Compact is also very cool, I got to play with one a bit at gun school last weekend.

            Do not get an XD.

          5. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            If money is no issue and you’re really looking for something full frame 9mm to carry: immediately find someone to let you test a SIG P226 Legion. Or just buy one outright, you will not be disappointed.

          6. Sean

            Glock 26 is a very good choice and finding a holster is never a problem. Mags are cheap and plentiful too.

            I alternate between one and a M&P9c.

        4. mexican sharpshooter

          1911s have issues if they stray too far from the original design. Compact/Officer frame tend to have a lot of issues with reliability. There are some though that have the bugs worked out like the Springfield EMP, but with the bushingless bull barrel and short frame its not exactly a 1911 either.

          1. kinnath

            Discussed this with the instructor at the range. He said that 1911s with 4+ inch barrels were generally OK, but to stay away from anything shorter.

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            Yup. The Commander size.

          3. kinnath

            And Springfield’s RO Compact is a 4 inch barrel.

          4. EvilSheldon

            This is good advice. You can get a 9mm 1911 that will run, but it’s gonna cost you some change. The STI Trojan is probably the least expensive 9mm 1911 that’ll (probably) run out of the box.

          5. mexican sharpshooter

            An STI 1911 is probably item #3 to purchase should I win the lottery. Behind a Rolex and a Ford Raptor.

          6. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            IF you’re winning the lottery might as well go all the way for the SVI.

        5. Drake

          I won a GunBroker auction for a CZ P-07 last night. Looking forward to some range time next week.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      I do not like that kind of language around here, young man. The correct line is “Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon”.

      This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.

      1. Raston Bot

        i lost my shit when Falcon was dubbed over that line. but in a good way b/c of the absurdity.

        1. DOOMco

          “This is what happens when you meet a stranger in the alps!”

          1. Chipwooder

            “Flip you, melonfarmer!” as they dubbed into Repo Man.

          2. I first saw the TV version and it was so weird that I didn’t realize that it was dubbed, I thought that was how people insulted one another in that universe. I think it works better the dubbed way.

          3. Gdragon

            “D mickey fickey, D! Learn to speak English first alright, 20 D batteries!”

    3. Raston Bot

      Welcome to the party, pal!

    4. invisible finger

      When is your first duel?

    5. Zunalter

      Oh… you live in a state that requires permits to conceal carry? How quaint.

  9. Caput Lupinum

    I have a purple and black paper bag to put over my head

    Where did you pick yours up? Mine wore out and I need a replacement.

    1. Negroni Please

      Is it really a “friendlier name”? I mean it’s a weapons company called Axon. Seems to me their name is saying “Fuck you plebes. Here have some nerve damage”

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Yeah, but they changed their name due to the negative reaction to pigs tasering people for no reason. So I’ll just go ahead and keep calling them by the old name.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Don’t Axon me, bro!

    3. Private Chipperbot

      This reminds of a commercial for some new TV show that celebrates people reporting on each other to solve crimes. My wife asked what I thought and I said the East Germans did it better…

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        My neighbor used the wrong recycling bin!

  10. I just got around to reading the Sebastian Kurz interview that was linked to this morning. I find it amazing and depressing how the conventional wisdom among the media class is how there’s only extremism on one side of the political aisle. The FPÖ are no more extreme than the Greens. And Germans have been electing the extremist SED to their parliament for the last several elections.

    1. Winston

      No enemies on the left.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Intentions, it’s all about the intentions.

    3. DEG

      Be careful there, Austrians don’t like being lumped in with Germans.

    4. Sweet mercy that interview was painful to read. Kurz did a very good job, but roughly half of the questions were not-very-subtly trying to draw parallels to the Nazis, a quarter was trying to get him to smack talk other politicians and parties, and the first several questions were reemphasizing over and over how young he is. So very littlw substance, and in this case it’s the fault of this lefty rag asking the questions.

    1. I just watched Demon Seed over the weekend.

    2. SugarFree

      Robot with a menstrual cycle…

    3. totally_not_an_escaped_ai

      And this is how you get Cylons. I, for one, welcome our new hybrid overlords.

  11. F. Stupidity Jr.

    Get rid of the pussy rules that make hard hitting old fashioned football illegal.

    I don’t know what specific rule changes I would make, but the passing game is too easy now.

    In 2016, five QBs were rated 100 or better. In 2006, one guy was. In 1996, only two QBs were rated 90 plus. In 1986, the NFL’s highest rated QB was Minnesota’s Tommy Kramer at 92.6…1976 was different: Ken Stabler and Bert Jones were both rated over 100. The third-best guy was Buffalo’s Joe Ferguson at 90.0

    Instead of looking at any given year, how about decades? Here are the 100+ QB Ratings by decade:
    1970s: 3
    1980s: 3
    1990s: 12
    2000s: 21
    2010-16: 34

    More 100+ QB ratings in seven seasons than in the twenty before it? QBs aren’t that much better than they used to be.

    1. Chipwooder

      Blame Bill Polian’s whining after the Patriot defense beat the hell out of the Colts’ receivers in their 2004 AFC title game defeat. That’s the point at which pass defense was basically outlawed.

      1. His and Peyton Manning’s.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Pretty much.

        Can you imagine what kind of numbers Marino or Elway or Montana might have had if they played under today’s rules? Marino’d probably still hold every season and career record for yardage and TDs.

        1. Chipwooder

          Yup.

          It’s like the discussion amongst Giants fans regarding Eli. His most passionate defenders always cite his career stat ranks, but that elides that fact that he’s played his entire career in the most favorable environment for QBs in the history of the sport. I wouldn’t say to completely ignore his career totals, but you do have to take them with a large grain of salt, and I’m as big a Giants fan as anyone.

          He’s had a weird career – he’s never been one of the best in the game, but he was good to very good for a very long time and played his best ball in two SB runs….yet he also was flat out terrible at times. I can’t think of a good comp for him – the rest of the multiple SB MVP quarterbacks were all clearly better. The other guy who won two titles without being one of the very best, Plunkett, didn’t have nearly the career he’s had. I guess maybe Flacco if he had two title runs, but he doesn’t.

          I’m in the minority among Giants fans, but I still think Simms was the better QB. You take Phil Simms and put him in this era, with the receivers Eli has had, and I’m certain he does more than Eli. The best receiver Simms ever had was Mark Bavaro for a few years before his knee started to fall apart. The second best was probably Earnest Gray. Eli’s had Toomer, Plax, Odell, and a bunch of guys who were excellent before they got hurt (Steve Smith, Nicks, Manningham, Cruz). Any of them would have easily been the best receiver Simms ever played with.

          1. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Eli’s had Toomer, Plax, Odell, and a bunch of guys who were excellent before they got hurt (Steve Smith

            IF STEVE SMITH HURT, SHOULD HAVE SEEN OTHER GUY! AND BY “SHOULD HAVE SEEN OTHER GUY”, STEVE SMITH MEAN…AHH, YOU KNOW REST.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      I don’t know what specific rule changes I would make

      The Illegal contact rule for DBs. If a receiver can’t recover from being slapped by DB, they should learn to be a kicker.

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        Especially now when there are lots of huge receivers. Some of these guys are basically TEs with speed.

      2. I’d also make any player miming the ref-throwing-a-flag gesture to try to draw a penalty be a personal foul. WRs do it all the time.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          Miming a card towards the ref in soccer is supposed to get you a yellow card. It’s inconsistently applied. Surrounding the ref to complain about a call/non-call is also supposed to get you a yellow card, but that’s rarely if ever enforced.

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          They should be able to make it hurt. Eject the player. They do that once or twice players will stop.

          1. TK

            Why? Is it really that big of a deal?

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            It is annoying. Its especially annoying when the referee waits to see if the receiver dropped the ball, signals, then throws the flag.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      +1 Fran Tarkenton.

    4. Old Man With Candy

      Bert Jones to Roger Carr was a thing of beauty. I’ve never seen that kind of arm before or since.

      1. Chipwooder

        Bert Jones? Wait a minute……you’re not actually Ernie Accorsi, are you?

        Accorsi has managed to work references to Johnny Unitas and Bert Jones into every single interview he’s ever given.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Accorsi is one of those people what killed Jesus. I’m one of those people what hired one of his people. See the difference?

    5. Not an Economist

      Players are better athletes than they were in the past. Better training and better equipment from youth. Rule changes. Different style of offense (1970’s pass was targeted long distance passes, 2000+ targeted shorter distance passes). Much better (and complicated) offensive schemes.

      These are some the reasons QB ratings are higher.

      Plus the NFL QB rating is stupid and outdated.

  12. Winston

    CRM-114s are also in 2001: a Space Odyssey. Very diverse company.

    Abandon all hope, ye who foolishly thought that Trump would be less war-bonered than Obama or Clinton.

    Well he said “can’t we get along with Russia?” not North Korea.

  13. Private Chipperbot

    Underwear bomber says rights violated in prison.

    In a complaint filed last week, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, known as the underwear bomber, alleges that communication restrictions, including solitary confinement, imposed on him “are an unconstitutional deprivation of his First Amendment rights to free speech and association.” He also alleges violations of the Fifth and Eighth Amendments, and says he’s been frequently harassed over his religion during prayer times, when “white supremacist inmates … often curse, yell, scream and say things that are religiously insulting and offensive to Muslims …”

    Hard to feel for a guy that tried to kill 300 people.

    1. Just Say’n

      The only thing that might have merit is the solitary confinement. Otherwise, what is the jail going to do to stop people from mocking him? It’s good that we allow prisoners to practice their faith in jail, though. Which is what makes us better than most other countries, but you have no right to be free from derision, because of your faith. That’s dumb

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Hmm… I thought that your rights were taken away when you went to prison…

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Prisoners still have (limited) first amendment rights, especially to religion.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Sure. You can do or say what you want in your cell. But… his “right to free association”? yeah…..

        2. I’m for prisoners having certain rights respected if the prison is for moderate crimes and rehabilitation is the goal, Punishment prisons for murderous assholes should not give inmates any right and should be called cemeteries.

          1. Juvenile Bluster

            We have prisons where rehabilitation is the goal? In the US?

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Do you mean to tell me that court-ordered anger management is a scam?

          3. I guess I should have ZARDOZ’ed that IF

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        Something, something cruel and unusual…?

    3. Gilmore

      ugh, Islamophobe.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        /slinks off to corner.

    4. SugarFree

      He already burned his junk off. What’s left but vexatious litigation?

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          I watched that back in the day. The, um, finale was a sad sight.

          1. R C Dean

            “Includes the sequel, Frankenpenis!”

  14. CPRM

    I’ll just drop this here, to build anticipation:

    Harvey TURNS startled, sobbing.

    HARVEY
    NAME REDACTED, I wasn’t expecting…Here, have a seat.

    Harvey tries to wipe a cum stain off the cushion next to him.

      1. CPRM

        Should I drop it in the links?

      2. Gustave Lytton

        “Uh uh!
        And then along came Harvey
        Slimy scummy Harvey
        Slow stroken Harvey
        Slow stroken Harvey
        Along came plastic plant raping Harvey”

  15. And here we were told it would stop with the statues. (Not tgatbwe believed the bastards.)

    https://slate.com/arts/2017/10/how-to-show-gone-with-the-wind-post-charlottesville.html

    1. Just Say’n

      Anyone who said ‘only confederate statues will be effected’ was either a useful idiot or a willful idiot

      1. Winston

        That guy at Reason?

        1. You’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.

          1. Just Say’n

            Bailey.

          2. I thought it was Gillespie. Bailey only cares about living forever.

          3. In all likelihood, you could ha e said any staffers name and it would probably be true at one time or another.

          4. Winston

            I’m sure Bailey, Welch and Gillespie all agree.

            Quite rich from a magazine that used to publish holocaust deniers. One of whom wrote in Reason about the expulsion of the Sudetens. Gee I wonder what he was implying there?

          5. Just Say’n

            To be fair it was multiple staffers. I think, ENB was the only one with a rational response. She said why not have local communities decide this rather than outside mobs.

            Bailey said he supports taking down confederate statues and then said in the comments that he would stand in opposition to taking down any other statues. Which was always a lie. He’s been silent on the issue lately, as has all of the staff.

          6. Winston

            Eric Boehm. In the same article he mentioned Taney who wasn’t a Confederate.

    2. Ed Wuncler

      Annnnnd this is why I told my friends who call themselves Republicans or Libertarians to not cheer on the actions of the Leftist Mob when they were tearing down the statues. Tearing down statues was the beginning and they would eventually move onto other stuff, especially stuff that Libertarians and Republicans like. The leftist Mob can’t be mollified and will always seek other shit to destroy.

      1. That’s why they should be resisted. Physically if necessary.

        Slippery slopes are real. And these assholes can’t ever be granted an inch.

      2. Just Say’n

        I’ve never heard of a happy result occurring from iconography

        1. Just Say’n

          *iconoclasm

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Constantine V defeating Arabs?

            (although it is quite like the whole ‘iconoclastic persecutions’ was mostly made up decades after the event for political reasons anyway)

        2. Winston

          Well Chipper Morning Wood supports it because John doesn’t.

          1. Just Say’n

            I’m sure the same goes for Sparky

          2. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Chipper Morning Wood and $parky….there’s a family reunion you can leave me out of. At least $parky’s a trustworthy asshole.

          3. Winston

            Guys like them and Hugh Aston really turned me off Reason. The sort of mindless bootlicking that libertarians should avoid and this site should as well.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            Fuck you, Winston.

            Worship me!

          5. Winston

            I would have thought Warty and SugarFree would have been part of the bootlicker brigade but they are here so I was wrong.

        3. Raven Nation

          The Dutch Republic?

      3. wdalasio

        The bottom line is that they never really gave two shits about confederate generals. They only cared that some people valued them. And that was their reason to take them down. SJWs are bullies. They do what you expect bullies to do.

    3. Winston

      Gadsden was a slave owner so what about that flag?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        To be fair, I was always more of a fan of the “Appeal to Heaven” flag, which was designed by an abolitionist, incidentally.

        1. Just Say’n

          Yes. That was the best revolutionary war flag.

    1. As the photographer took the picture, “Elie Wiesel’s right hand had reached my right ass cheek, which he squeezed.” Listman claims Wiesel, “immediately RAN, disappearing straight into the crowd of over 1000 people,” leaving her in a state of shock, panic and disbelief. The disbelief extended to her boyfriend, who at first tried to explain it away.

      I just have a hard time picturing Wiesel sloooooooooowly going down her back and grabbing her ass at a Holocaust photo op and then running off into a crowd so as not to get caught.

      That’s something Mel Brooks would have tried to stick in a movie 40 years ago for a laugh.

      1. Gilmore

        Breaking news: Everyone famous has grabbed someone’s ass at some point.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Oh, I’m not famous.

        2. Not Stephen Hawking.

          1. *sustained applause*

          2. I hope it’s tinny, synthesized applause.

          3. He wasn’t always half-man half-chair.

        3. I had a coworker who used to put her hand on my leg in meetings. She was attractive.

          She also once said when I got off the elevator accidentally on her floor in a hotel that I could come hang out in her room.

          However, her husband is a cop. Yeah, no.

          1. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            Which means you not only passed up potentially great sex but a potentially lucrative settlement with the city.

          2. Rhywun

            Phew, dodged that bullet.

          3. MikeS

            Saw that

      2. wdalasio

        Just the fact that the original source was Medium makes me skeptical. Especially when they’re trashing the reputation of a dead guy.

  16. Winston

    So ate there any governors, reps or senators you would describe as libertarian Democrats? Do they support free speech, oppose war, oppose gun control and oppose socialized medicine?

    1. Vhyrus

      I tried searching pro gun democrats and literally could not come up with anything newer than 2013, so I am thinking ‘no’.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I think the closest is Joe Manchin aka Senator Fudd.

    2. Chipwooder

      Reason tried to pawn Jared Polis off as one, but….yeah, no.

      1. Winston

        Polis is gay and likes video games seemed to be the main reasoning.

    3. wdalasio

      Bottom line is no. It’s why, as bad as the Republicans are, there are at least a few of them who kinda sorta believe in individual liberty. The Democrats simply are the anti-freedom party at this point.

      1. Winston

        Anti-freedom and out of power which teens volumes about how the Demo truly feel.

    4. DEG

      I was going to say Brian Schweitzer because he signed the Montana Firearms Freedom Act, but he’s been out of office for a while and supported single payer.

      Bill Richardson was also gun friendly while Governor of New Mexico, but he was fine with Kelo style eminent domain and also has not been in office for a while.

      1. Vhyrus

        New Mexico is a really interesting microcosm because they are bluer than a smurfs dick but if you even attempt to touch their guns you will be out on your ass.

        1. one true athena

          Kinda depends where, though. For a long time (i.e. when I was a yute) it was far more evenly divided. I interned for Domenici and the joke back then was that NM always sent one D and one R to make sure NM had high committee positions whoever held the Senate. NM was always a kind of banana republic, anyway, but fraud was/is rampant (famous one i remember my parents being infuriated by, of ballots “found in the closet”), so it’s not surprising that between that and the growing population it tends more Blue.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Hey, the FBI arrests another terrorist that they gave the idea and the methodology and the actual bomb to! Congratulations?

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Get rid of the pussy rules that make hard hitting old fashioned football illegal.

    +++++++++++

    Like that bullshit roughing the passer call that turned an interception into a first down followed by a touchdown.

    1. DOOMco

      the helmet to helmet one?

      1. whahappan

        No, when Brady was hit as he released the ball.

    1. Vhyrus

      I’m calling troll. Otherwise you might have won.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Most of what Tankie Takes retweets/posts are actual posts from actual tankies, judging from the rest of their content history. Some trolls mixed in, but most real.

      2. Rothbardsbitch

        What JB said, somebody is just compiling a bunch of tweets from different people. There is also a subbreddit where tankies as they are called hang out.

    2. Rothbardsbitch

      Comments include comparing Kim Il Sung to Jesus and Buddha and how gulags are much more progressive than the American prison system. Also North Korea is a better country because they would not have let Charlottesville happen.

      1. Rothbardsbitch

        Here is another one:
        Here is a fact nonwestern countries cannot be imperialist.

        Is this a new addition to the whole only white people can be racist thing?

        1. Just Say’n

          “Here is a fact nonwestern countries cannot be imperialist.”

          Japan hardest hit.

          Rich white kids are hilariously ignorant about the world. Tell the Chinese and the Koreans that non-Western countries cannot be imperialist

          1. Gustave Lytton

            I think that’s Korea hit hardest. Or the rest of East Asia.

          2. pan fried wylie

            Emperor of Japan hardest [Hiro]hit[o].

          3. Gadfly

            Since Korea got hit by both Chinese and Japanese imperialism, I concur.

          4. R C Dean

            Let’s not forget Tibet, either.

    3. Sour Kraut

      So those guys hate Jacobin? Maybe Jacobin treats tankies like Buckley treated John Birchers.

      1. Sour Kraut

        By the way that could be my mother in law’s twitter feed.

    4. Pan Zagloba

      Real or fake, JuCheGuevara is an amazing nickname and deserves praise.

  18. DOOMco

    the football rules almost force QB’s to stay in the pocket looking at the medium and long ball. It’s harder to get PI calls short, holding can still happen on the better matchup flats.
    If we could remove the hard pads, we’d incentivize better cleaner hits. I still think that the vicis helmet (autoplay) is better to use going forward.
    extend the contact the WR’s can get from 5 yards to 10.
    I don’t mind turf at this point, I do prefer grass. Domes are dumb.
    I second the motion to put the superbowl outside in the north.

    1. DOOMco

      head injuries usually come from not the huge hits, but the little ones. If we remove pads from DBs and WRs, it will lower the number of blind, high speed hits. those are usually what causes body injuries. The helmets have to change to help brains.
      Linemen could use better training too.

      This is true in hockey as well. most of the concussions come from hard but legal hits. taking away hard shoulder pads would solve the high speed slamming into the corners.
      fighting ends up happening to defend players from hits like that that cross a more moral line than written rule. NHL wants players moving fast and somehow not being injured/concussed from the hits that happen at those speeds.

      1. Zunalter

        Brain issues are mostly caused by it slapping the inside of the persons skull…what type of helmet is going to fix that?

        1. DOOMco

          The idea is to make slapping harder. more compression, bigger bumper.

        2. Bob

          We can put a bumper on a car to prevent car accident injuries too. I vote we put Elon Musk on it.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Hey, the FBI arrests another terrorist that they gave the idea and the methodology and the actual bomb to! Congratulations?

    Maybe the SPLC should put the FBI on their terror organizations list.

    1. ::looks and see Trump name at head of FBI organizational chart::

      You mean they aren’t already there?

  20. Winston

    So anyone to mention L. Frank Baum’s pro-genocide? Or what Shirley said about Arthur Freed?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Being pro-genocide isn’t necessarily bad. Was he against white males?

      1. Winston

        He wrote pro-genocide of Native Americans around the time of Wounded Knee.

    2. Or what Shirley said about Arthur Freed?

      Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

      1. Tundra

        Do you like movies about gladiators?

          1. Thanks. I just had it stuffed.

          2. What phony dog poo?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Bro bought the P225A and loves it. He’s of medium build and it carries well.

    An excellent choice. I have a P6 (old *’78 date stamp* German cop version. I likee bally much.) Still want a P220 .45.

    1. Tundra

      Fucking spendy, though.

    2. Sean

      Did you change out the main spring? It makes a world of difference in the trigger pull. I think i went down to a #19.

  22. Gilmore

    Normally i think the law goes too far, but

    MONTREAL (AP) — A Canadian man’s decision to belt out a 1990s dance hit while inside his car has landed him a $149 ticket for being too loud in public.

    But Taoufik Moalla said Monday he’ll fight the ticket and denies his singing was as deafening as authorities claim.

    Moalla says he was happily singing along with the windows mostly rolled up to C+C Music Factory’s “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now),” which neared the top of the Billboard chart in 1991, when he was stopped.

    I think the crime should hinge on whether he was singing the chorus, or doing the entirety of Freedom Williams horridenous quasi-rap

    1. Playa Manhattan

      What if he was re-enacting the gay steel mill scene from The Simpsons?

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        +1 We work hard, we play harder.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          They took all of our best names!

          1. pan fried wylie

            +1 Bruce

      2. Gilmore

        ….

        while driving? that is surely a moving violation.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      I would have ticketed him for the song alone.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      Did he jump, jump to the rhythm?

      1. Not Adahn

        From that link, I had no idea that Finns look like Louisianans

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Ao-iNPPUc

  23. The Late P Brooks

    the helmet to helmet one?

    I can’t even remember which game it was. “Helmet to helmet”? Maybe. Two independently moving players cannot be expected to nullify the “laws of physics” in order to avoid any and all helmet to helmet contact. Especially if one is them is intent on colliding with the other.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      This. There is a difference between incidental contact and using your helmet as a weapon.

    2. Bob

      In they particular play he could have since one player was essentially stationary. The worst ones are when you see a WR duck into a hit causing the defensive player to hit their helmet where it previously wasn’t. These seem to be blamed on the defense though, onsrtad of the offensive player who forced it.

  24. Sour Kraut

    I bring tidings of sadness.

    Yoga Pants are Destroying the Planet

    Every time you wash your yoga pants, gym clothes or any other garment made from synthetic material, you’re shedding microscopic plastic fibers — called “microfibers” into natural waterways, which eventually make their way to the ocean.

    University of Florida researchers are now discovering that more than 80 percent of the the micro-plastics found in the ocean are actually micro-fibers from synthetic clothing

    Expect the hot virtue-signalling chicks in your yoga class to quickly switch to baggy cotton. Someday historians will refer to our era as the “golden age of yoga pants”…

    1. Tundra

      Meh. The oceans are pretty fucking big. And my time on this planet is limited.

      Lululemon is doing G_d’s work.

      1. DEG

        Lululemon is doing G_d’s work.

        Damn straight.

      2. Gadfly

        And my time on this planet is limited.

        Keynes approves.

    2. Just Say’n

      (a) I hate this. The fact that women wear yoga pants on a regular basis is the greatest thing to come of the second decade of the 21st Century (b) I would never be caught dead in a yoga class. I see my yoga pants on the street

    3. Ed Wuncler

      Yoga pants are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Don’t forget tights!

        It’s made waiting in airports quite bearable these days.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          I use them interchangeably. Or “leggings”.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        I agree, but I am so happy that they weren’t around when 8th grade Cardinal Jimbo was.

        As a teacher how do you get Jr. High age boys to pay attention to anything but the yoga pants on all the Jr. High girls? And what are the legal ramifications of asking a boy with a permanent boner to do any work at the chalkboard?

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      This sounds like a problem a filter in the washing machine can solve. Yoga pants have likely contributed more to the nation’s health simply by drawing men into gyms to see chicks in yoga pants than anything the CDC has ever done.

      1. Q Continuum

        ^^^Future Secretary of Health and Human Services

    5. From a story I recently wrote:

      He thought Elaine Pomeroy could definitely afford Lululemon yoga pants, but it was doubtful they would ever look as good on Elaine Pomeroy as they did on her — despite yoga pants’ mystical and uncanny ability to mold the shape of the lower female body into an omnisensual presence that rendered genetics, workout routines, and dietary habits moot.

      1. Here is the link to the Libertarian-friendly story titled The Analversary.

    6. Count Potato

      Although I haven’t taught in years, as someone who is certified as a yoga teacher, yoga pants or any tight-fitting garments aren’t good for yoga.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Shut your whore mouth and let these girls continue to purchase tight fitting clothing!

      2. MikeS

        If you ever speak of this again…I will be so angry with you!

      3. Count Potato

        Now, now, calm down and let me explain. Two things. Firstly, guys who like ogling women wearing yoga pants generally don’t take yoga classes. And if they did, they would realize the pants are hardly necessary to appreciate the female form — it’s a room with women literally posing. Secondly, women who walk around in yoga pants probably aren’t serious about taking yoga classes. Or they need to take a shower.

        tl;dr: When you see women in yoga pants, neither of you are in a yoga class.

        1. Rhywun

          Next you’re going to claim that woman like being looked at in yoga pants. Pshaw.

          1. MikeS

            Speaking of crazy, meet Lizzie:

            Lizzie‏ @Lizzie39607857 Oct 22
            Replying to @Barbara4u2 @MasterJulianos
            Ignorant cartoon – the LOL people are either very young or just ignorant. The objectification of women is wrong.

            BeyondPhere‏ @BeyondPhere Oct 22
            The joke is that there are SOME women in MeToo who are clearly lying or falsely over inflating things so as to join the trend.
            Saw one of my FB friends do it just yesterday.

            It’s not all, but it is some

            Lizzie‏ @Lizzie39607857 Oct 22
            That is rather deplorable. Not into the me too thing but absolutely hate being treated like an object, being told to smile,all that bullshit

            BeyondPhere‏ @BeyondPhere Oct 22
            This isn’t about that though lol.

            It’s about women lying or misrepresenting the actual truth for Attention!

            People fishing for sympathy in a trend

            Lizzie‏ @Lizzie39607857 Oct 22
            Not familiar with that but if it occurs it’s sad. I’m more concerned about the ass in the White House and getting people to care

          2. Rhywun

            I’m more concerned about the ass in the White House and getting people to care

            And… signal deployed. Thx

            PS.

            LOL!!

  25. Gustave Lytton

    http://registerguard.com/rg/news/local/36060152-75/new-cellphone-law-for-drivers-means-no-holding-the-phone-that-thing-is-hot-lava-now.html.csp

    “I’m glad they changed the law because I’ve heard all the excuses,” Massey said. “ ‘I was changing my music.’ ‘I was checking my clock.’ I’m tired of the excuses; you were using your phone. Period.”

    Boo hoo, you’re a police officer not a nanny. Go fuck yourself and your disrespect for the people employing you.

    Massey shared some of his tricks Tuesday for how he spots the drivers who think they’re being too sneaky to catch.

    “If I see one hand up on the wheel … where’s the other hand? That’s my first thing; find the other hand,” Massey said.

    It doesn’t matter where the fuck the other hand is. Holding a steering wheel with only one hand isn’t a crime. Probable cause, how the fuck does it work? Again, go fuck yourself.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Shut up and drive! Fucking idiots on their phone, not paying attention, violating the NAP with your reckless habits
      /get off my road

      1. Gustave Lytton

        If they’re actually distracted and their driving shows evidence of it, the existing laws were adequate.

        Will car radios be ripped out? Or heater controls? Or talking to passengers? How about a mental evaluation prior to turning the ignition? Shitty day at work can easily mean not paying full attention to the road.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Know where the controls are, and prepare to Drive, if someone is distracting you tell em to STFU.
          Driving is a very serious thing, distraction hurts the innocent,
          /yells at clouds

    2. DOOMco

      No cellphones!!
      also,
      MANDATE A BUNCH OF TECH INTO CARS WITH BUTTONS AND SCREENS AND BEEPS.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Maybe the guy is just pulling a Weinstein.

    4. Tundra

      I find that driving a manual transmission in a car that lacks power steering and is a fraction of the size of everything else on the road does wonders for your focus.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I used to be able to do that and eat a burger, fries, and shake.

        1. Tundra

          Shit, I could roll a joint one-handed.

          Still, I am not a fan of all the shit in the cars. I had a Suburban last week that was constantly blinking, vibrating and pinging at me. Pass.

          1. DOOMco

            Shit, I could roll a joint one-handed.

            you’ve been outdone.

          2. Count Potato

            Tundra is the black people of white people?

          3. Tundra

            It’s been suggested before.

      2. DOOMco

        Yeah, guess who never tailgates now?

        1. Tundra

          Haha! Yep, I’m Ms. Manners now.

          1. DOOMco

            It’s amazing how quickly my habits changed. I don’t think I was even a bad driver before, but losing every comfort really tells you what driving actually is.

          2. Tundra

            It’s why I contend that most safety features aren’t.

          3. Gustave Lytton
      3. Yusef drives a Kia

        I love my old Kia, that’s why, gotta drive it,
        /Half past 4 and I’m shiftin gears

      4. thepasswordispassword

        So when are you upgrading to a motorcycle?

        1. Tundra

          Never! I want a GT6 next. Small sports cars are a blast.

        2. DOOMco

          BMW’s g310r looks kinda cool for a commuter.

    5. Heroic Mulatto

      “If I see one hand up on the wheel … where’s the other hand?

      Usually, my dick. Is that illegal as well?

      1. Vhyrus

        I know I have trouble keeping mine out from under the pedals as well, HM.

    6. “If I see one hand up on the wheel … where’s the other hand?

      Not all of us can wait till we get home to masturbate, you privileged asshole.

    7. Rufus the Monocled

      What a jerk off. Maybe the other hand is fingering his wife.

      1. Q Continuum

        The driver’s wife or the cop’s wife?

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          The cop’s wife.

          C’man!

    8. Pope Jimbo

      Massey said he’s most bothered about people lying to his face about their cellphone use when children are in the car.

      “Oh, I tell them, ‘You just put me in a really awkward position ‘cause you’re lying to police in front of your kids,’ ” Massey said.

      I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate me following up with “good. That is an important lesson for all children to learn.”

      Seriously fuck this guy in the neck. Any cop who shows such an obsession with a particular law should be counseled.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        The town where I grew up in had a cop who made more DUI arrests than any other cop. Lots of awards, recognition, etc. Except that it turned out later he was busting people who weren’t always intoxicated. Ooops. Oh well, so sorry about that phony arrest that you now have to disclose. And it had been going on for years and it also turns out the city had been settling lawsuits over the cop’s phony arrests pretty much from the start.

        Of course he cop got punished- had to resign.

    9. Rhywun

      Forget texting and driving – texting and walking should be a capital offense.

  26. Count Potato

    “‘Willing to Do Everything,’ Mothers Defend Sons Accused of Sexual Assault

    Few issues in education today are as intensely debated as the way colleges deal with sexual misconduct. Women’s groups and victims’ advocates have deplored Ms. DeVos’s moves, saying they will allow colleges to wash their hands of the problem. But a growing corps of legal experts and defense lawyers have argued that the Obama rules created a culture in which accused students, most of them men, were presumed guilty.

    And some of the most potent advocates for those men have been a group of women: their own mothers.

    Some of the mothers met with Ms. DeVos in July to tell their stories, and Ms. DeVos alluded to them in a speech she gave last month. An advocacy group founded in 2013 by several mothers, Families Advocating for Campus Equality, or FACE, has grown to hundreds of families, who have exchanged tens of thousands of messages through their email list, said Cynthia Garrett, co-president of the group.

    The mothers lobby Congress, testify on proposed legislation and policy, and track lawsuits filed by men who say they have been wrongly accused. A bill in the California Legislature that they testified against, which would have enshrined the Obama-era regulations into state law, passed both houses but was vetoed this month by Gov. Jerry Brown, a Democrat, who said it was “time to pause” on the issue.”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/22/us/campus-sex-assault-mothers.html

    1. Q Continuum

      Liberals mugged by reality?

    2. I hope Dirk Benedict is involved.

    3. Ed Wuncler

      it’s so odd and telling that those who defends the Dear Colleague letter sound almost identically like the jury that let off the two men who killed Emmitt Till.

  27. Count Potato

    This was posted already, but it’s worth reposting:

    https://www.city-journal.org/html/identity-politics-death-grip-15500.html

  28. The Late P Brooks

    If I see one hand up on the wheel … where’s the other hand?

    Flipping you off, in my car.

  29. Count Potato

    “Why Liberals Are Turning Against the Internet

    Following the news of late might lead one to conclude that Mark Zuckerberg is America’s Public Enemy Number One, and that the World Wide Web is destroying the foundations of the country’s democratic system.

    “Silicon Valley Is Not Your Friend,” cried a recent headline in The New York Times. Perhaps surprisingly, the long article below called for federal regulation of the destructive and arrogant information high-tech companies now being blamed for the election of President Donald Trump and much else besides. Having spent years telling its readership that Zuckerberg was a revolutionary innovator and boy genius, The New York Times has had second thoughts. If you believe that the most pressing danger facing the American Republic is sitting in the White House, the author explained, then think again. Apparently, it’s hidden in Silicon Valley.”

    http://quillette.com/2017/10/22/liberals-turning-internet/

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re not turning against the internet, they just want to bring it to hell.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Heel

        Effin autocorrect

        1. Q Continuum

          That was John worthy, and true.

      2. Winston

        That is a problem when the “free media” want censorship to allow them to save their businesses and to remain gatekeepers.

    2. CPRM

      Cuz Trump killed Net Neutrality and they can no longer seize control.

    3. kbolino

      “Silicon Valley Is Not Your Friend,” cried a recent headline in The New York Times.

      But the CEOs are trying so hard to be woke! Who could have foreseen that appeasement wasn’t going to work…

    4. Bob

      Without the internet widely distributed public information was filtered through a handful of mostly leftist gate keepers. They realize this, so they are coming after it through multiple methods. Pressure on major content providers and legislative bodies. The truth is not meant for plebes.

  30. Count Potato

    “These are just some examples of how I was infected by sexism. There were countless other ways in which I blatantly or more subtly devalued women, their thoughts and their feelings.

    I’ve considered myself a feminist for about 25 years, and it’s been a long process of unlearning. I try to take up less space: I wait until a woman in the room has spoken before I chime in. I walk in the street in a non-intimidating way – if it’s late at night and there’s a woman in front of me, I keep my distance or cross to the other side.

    I count how many women there are in the space I’m in, and I practice calling in other men in empathic, non-competitive ways (not “my feminism is bigger than yours”). And I’m still learning. I’m truly grateful to all the women who trusted me, educated me and called me out when I deserved it. Unlearning is hard but I believe we’re en route to a better, kinder society.”

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/oct/20/men-silent-me-too-sexism

    So how long before we find out the author is a rapist?

    1. CPRM

      if it’s late at night and there’s a woman in front of me, I keep my distance or cross to the other side.

      No wonder the left loves sharia.

      1. Meh, we teach people to be aware of their surroundings. Late at night alone in isolated area I’d say giving possibly nervous people a little space is common courtesy. Hell I’d be wary if some dude was approaching me from behind as I staggered home from the local at 2am when only bums and the homeless are usually about, and I’m a big tough beardy construction worker.

        1. CPRM

          But he is only concerned with walking near women, not being polite in general.

      2. SimonD

        To be honest, I would usually keep my distance in that situation too, primarily because I wouldn’t want to be pepper-sprayed by some jittery chick who’s had one too many cocktails.

        The rest of it is just typical leftist weapons-grade stupidity.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Definitely an asshole.

      How about ignoring them like you would a dude?

    3. Gilmore

      I try to take up less space: I wait until a woman in the room has spoken before I chime in. I walk in the street in a non-intimidating way – if it’s late at night and there’s a woman in front of me, I keep my distance or cross to the other side.

      I can’t tell if this describes a “feminist” or some bizarre, damaged child who thinks women are made of glass.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        An insecure shithead most likely

    4. Count Potato

      On a related note, apparently gamergate site owner was accused of sexual harassment.

      https://twitter.com/shoe0nhead/status/922211525770776576

      No idea if it’s true, but this seems like trend.

      1. Count Potato

        “Male Feminist Allies: The Witch Hunters Have Become The Witches, Hunted”

        dailycaller.com/2017/10/23/male-feminist-allies-the-witch-hunters-have-become-the-witches-hunted/

      2. thepasswordispassword

        Quite the neogaffe

  31. Pope Jimbo

    Finally a gizmo that allows me to enjoy beer the way it should be.

    1. Tundra

      Ugh. High Life.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Says the fancy boy from Exclusive West Maple Grove.

        The High Life is The Beer down here in the barrio of East Maple Grove.

        1. Tundra

          Please. Our whole city is barrio except for the south siders who wish they were in Plymouth. High Life is just not good. My neighbor loves it. No amount of shaming, bribing or threatening will sway him. Quote: “I can’t believe they can make it so good and sell it so cheap.”

          1. Gilmore

            “” High Life is just not good”‘

            I have mixed feelings.

            On one hand, it is shitty beer.

            On the other hand, when i’d drink shitloads of makers mark back when i was playing pool… it was used as something to keep me from drinking too-fast. because they were $1. frankly, they tasted pretty good after 6-8 whiskeys.

          2. MikeS

            I actually don’t mind Highlife. But for the money, Busch Lite is the best cheap beer, hands down.

          3. Someones’ never had an ice cold Stroh’s or ten.

          4. MikeS

            You know…you’re right, I haven’t. I really need to try some once.

          5. Tundra

            Anything tastes good after 6-8 whiskies. Probably even Busch Light.

    2. Gilmore

      I enjoy shotgunning a beer every now and then. Or, at best, having a yard-chugging contest (*i’ve tended to lose, not because i’m incapable, but because i think its more important to ensure the beer stays inside me)

      funneling, and its variants, is something no one older than 22 should be involved in.

  32. Q Continuum

    If locusts were one of the plagues send to the Egyptians for enslaving (((them))), what does a plague of stinkbugs signify?

    http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2017/10/22/stink-big-population-growing/

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Mexicans. The plague of Mexicans.

      1. Q Continuum

        No weed and butt-sex?

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          There will be plenty of Mexicans, I’m sure you can find a taker or two.

    1. Just Say’n

      Nice rack

  33. The Zenome Project

    According to proggy Twitter, this is one of those white supremacist ads that just came out today. Seems like projection to me if you associate the word “felons” with certain races, but maybe that’s just me.

    1. It was Mario Cuomo who first brought up Willie Horton, wasn’t it?

      1. Gilmore

        i played lax in the 80s-90s. most people cut the shoulders off the pads and kept nothing except collarbone protection, because that’s where you’d catch the occasional cross-check at full speed.

        the helmets and gloves sucked tho. there were mods to those too, but you couldnt get away with much. the equipment now is absurdly light/flexible and well constructed, in comparison.

        1. DOOMco

          Helmets in any sport are much better now. The gloves now are great. I cut the part that covered my bicep and had really think elbow guards. I actually bought a rib protector for underneath the chest. I had caught a few too many slashes and pokes to the kidneys. I never minded the bruises my arms got. my shoulder dislocated on one hit, a concussion on a blind cross check I ran into while running around the crease.
          The cross checks up high were the biggest worry for me when I was a ref. I was a ref for middle schoolers, and laid the law pretty well before the game started.

          1. DOOMco

            thin, not think elbow guards.

  34. trshmnstr

    Well, I fucked that up

    1. trshmnstr

      ATTN Derpetologist,

      Here’s a fun followup to your comments on codes.

  35. Winston

    So what do you guys think of high trust/ low trust societies and their relation to libertarianism? Japan is high-trust but not libertarian. China is low trust yet had major reforms. Classical liberalism didn’t take off in high trust societies either.

    1. Q Continuum

      I think it has a lot to do with culture beyond just trust level. I’d think that approaches to religion, family ties and overall collectivist tendencies probably play a lot more into that than just trust.

    2. kbolino

      Classical liberalism didn’t take off in high trust societies either

      Necessity being the mother of invention, a “high trust society” is just one in which the need for liberalism has not yet become apparent.

    3. wdalasio

      Classical liberalism didn’t take off in high trust societies either.

      My guess is that it isn’t so much that libertarianism or classical liberalism stem from high trust societies as that they increase the level of trust within a society.

  36. Just wanted to give a little shout-out and thanks to all y’all who have submitted something and have been languishing waiting to hear back from us. I appreciate your patience while we’re all under the gun (not literally).

  37. But Enough About Me

    “This video is not available.”

    Hmmmmph.

  38. Gadfly

    How do you sell out of the “Female Libertarian” costume when there are no female libertarians? Huh? This is some conspiracy shit up in here.

    Well, there are no ghost-busters, either, but apparently you can sell out of that, too. It’s a wonderful world we live in.

    1. Negroni Please

      People dress up something scary for halloween. What’s scarier to a prog than a woman leaving the plantation and embracing libertarianism?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Log Cabin Republicans

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        STEVE SMITH?

      3. Q Continuum

        I can see you’ve never been to Warty’s dungeon.

  39. Count Potato

    “Poppy Day is cancelled by the police: Outrage as forces insist they cannot afford to man remembrance parades amid budget cuts”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5004427/Poppy-Day-cancelled-police-amid-budget-cuts.html

    She has her own holiday?

    1. DOOMco

      the bennies of being in a cult!

    2. Gustave Lytton

      “Please insert another generation into Flanders fields if you would like to continue the annual memorial..”

      1. Rhywun

        I see they’ve taken a page from our book by cutting the most visible stuff first.

  40. Hey, what happened to my top of page button thing that used to hang out on the mid lower right side of the screen? And I thought the Monocle upgrade was going to address the automatic-page-reload-after-posting-comment bugaboo.

    1. Count Potato

      I’m not using Monocle, but I can see a button with an up arrow that does that.

      1. Yep turned off monocle and there it is, but now I can’t hyperspace to unread comments, fuck it I’m going back to Reason.

        1. MikeS

          A “Top Of Comments” button on the Monocle bar apparently took it’s place.

          1. Nah that was always there, and only goes to the first comment the other button goes all the way. IYKWIMAITTYD.

          2. MikeS

            Top of comments was always there? Huh, I thought it was new.

            But yeah, I know the arrow you are talking about. Well, not personally, but we met a time or two.

        2. F. Stupidity Jr.

          The comment system must be messed up over there too. P Brooks’ comments would always load at the bottom of the page.

    2. MikeS

      One new behavior; when Monocle loads new comments when you are in the middle of typing a reply, it kicks the reply box back to the bottom of the page and sometimes deletes -sometimes not- what you have typed. I tried three times to get this comment typed up. Had to turn off Dynamically Load Comments to get it done.

    3. Gilmore

      I thought the Monocle upgrade was going to address the automatic-page-reload-after-posting-comment bugaboo.

      you have to turn it on first in the lower right hand menu

      it works, but i think it resets itself every time you revisit the page. or, every time leave/close the browser, and come back, it needs to be turned back on.

  41. Count Potato

    “Don’t put Vicks VapoRub in your vagina”

    http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/21/dont-put-vicks-vaporub-in-your-vagina-7016681/

    I knew these guys who would go to raves and put Gold Bond on their balls.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Uh…. why?

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Because it feels…lovely.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Wasn’t that an urban legend? I thought someone had debunked the claim that Michael Vick’s girlfriend smeared something on her pussy and let the dogs lick it off. And I thought it was peanut butter not vaporub.

    3. Gold Bond Schmold bond…Anti Monkey Butt or GTFO

    4. wdalasio

      If your audience needs to be reminded not mentholated ointment on sensitive membranes, maybe they don’t deserve to be reminded.

    5. Count Potato

      I also knew a young woman who would go to raves and put Tiger Balm on her nipples.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        God, I love the smell of Tiger Balm!

        1. Count Potato

          Po Sum On is even better.

  42. MikeS

    Good song OMWC, but the important thing to know is who is that goddess on the album cover? Oooh boy.

  43. Count Potato

    “The UK government says the term “pregnant woman” should not be used in a UN treaty because it “excludes” transgender people.

    Feminists reacted with outrage to what they said was the latest example of “making women unmentionable” in the name of transgender equality.

    The statement comes in Britain’s official submission on proposed amendments to the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, to which the UK has been a signatory since 1976. The UN treaty says a “pregnant woman” must be protected, including not being subject to the death penalty.

    Yet in the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office submission, Britain opposes the term “pregnant woman” because it may “exclude transgender people who have given birth”. The suggested term is “pregnant people”.

    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/uproar-as-women-are-written-out-of-the-right-to-be-pregnant/news-story/c64cf7f738a6c274dcd8cc6a3364e6e2

    1. MikeS

      They are starting to eat each other. Glorious.

    2. Ed Wuncler

      Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Take me off of this planet.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Impregnated females of the species

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      This is why when people say the grievance majors are harmless, I differ. They actively seek out positions of power in bureaucracies so they can impose their semantic will in the rest of us.

    5. Playa Manhattan

      Can’t they just stick a basketball under the shirt and pretend about that too?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Vice needs to decide what kind of publication they want to be.

      That’s just stupid.

      1. wdalasio

        You look at that article and don’t think they’ve already decided?

      2. Count Potato

        I think they decided a long time ago.

        “Getting Wasted on Cum Cocktails
        Our new, crazy intern Gabe got a bunch of her girlfriends and guy friends together to drink semen cocktails. Here’s how that went.”

        https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/jmkbm7/getting-wasted-on-cum-cocktails

        1. Vhyrus

          guys participated in this?

          Do they get the ‘fag’ or the ‘cuck’ label? shitlording is hard sometimes.

          1. Count Potato

            The women drank the cocktails, and the guys were here to provide semen.

          2. Not Adahn

            Although, since at least one of them refused female assistance during the extraction process you could make the case that… actually looking at the women involved, he made the right call.

  44. Drake

    Beat up Chris Christie all you want he’s the least worst Governor we’ve had in New Jersey in a very long time. When Phil Murphy takes over and the madness begins, Christie will be fondly remembered.

    1. Count Potato

      I still can’t figure out how Jon Corzine wasn’t beaten to death by an angry mob.

      1. Drake

        I can’t figure out how Phil Murphy isn’t Jon Corzine (other than the beard).

        1. Rhywun

          OMG the hair. I can’t get a proper Google Images link but OMG the hair.

  45. Count Potato

    “Columbia Law Vegans Are Probably Discriminated Against, And I Assume Delicious
    Dietary discrimination is the new black… for white people, I guess.”

    https://abovethelaw.com/2017/10/columbia-law-vegans-are-probably-discriminated-against-and-i-assume-delicious/

    1. Trigger Hippie

      ‘Being able to choose to NOT EAT something because of your God or your morality is the OG of #FirstWorldProblems.’

      Actually, I’d say those are #HistoryOfHumanityAllOverTheWorldProblems.

      P.S. Don’t worry, Count. I’ll keep those evil vegans away from you. I got your back.

      *heats up fryer, sprinkles salt on CP’s head*

  46. Count Potato

    “The Bank of England Has Way Too Many White Men, U.K. Lawmakers Say”

    fortune.com/2017/10/20/bank-of-england-diversity/

    1. wdalasio

      I completely agree. The fact that the Bank of England relies on human beings rather than a computer program that estimates real growth and matches monetary growth accordingly is a disgrace.

  47. Update on Puerto Rico: Power unlikely to be fully restored in Puerto Rico until after Christmas, Army 3-star says

    The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ strategy has been anchored around first providing 400 to 500 temporary generators in Puerto Rico, Semonite said. Normally they would provide 40 to 50 generators for hurricane relief, but Puerto Rico requires a massive rebuild of the energy grid, he said.

    “We are going all out to put in as many generators as we can,” Semonite said. “This is not a generator like you would buy at a hardware store downtown; this is a generator pulled behind an 18-wheeler.”

    ……

    The Army also is working to bring power plants back online for long-term power generation, Semonite said.

    “This is where we have our work cut out for us,” Semonite said. “Right now, we’ve got about 21.6 percent of that [power] up … that’s 579 megawatts.”

    However, most of the big power plants on Puerto Rico are in the south of the island, while most of the demand for power is up in the north, Semonite said. Getting power generation back up to normal capacity will require probably three new power lines from south to north, over a mountain, to “put enough electricity up in San Juan,” he said.

    “So, the challenge is how do you get that electricity from south to north? Even if all of the power plants are up and running, we would have a generation shortfall,” he said.

    To assist with that shortfall, a company was contracted to build a temporary power plant in San Juan, Semonite said.

    “That power plant is being built today and will be up by the end of October. That will put another 50 megawatts into the grid,” he said.

    Semonite cited a 2016 report by an independent firm that warned of the frailty of the power generators on Puerto Rico.

    “One of the power plants up in San Juan was actually shut down seven weeks before the storm because it had massive maintenance challenges,” he said.

    Even bringing the power generation back to pre-hurricane levels will require a longer term plan for the island, Semonite said.

    1. Another good article I read recently – can’t remember how to get around the paywall: https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-a-u-s-navy-hospital-ship-in-puerto-rico-has-hardly-been-used-1508433604

      Of course, it’s all about the feelz – no point listening to the people who actually run these things. Let’s just waste money and resources for a couple photo-ops.

    2. DEG

      What a shitshow.

      Paul Krugman is probably enjoying the stimulus.

    3. Ed Wuncler

      Puerto Rico is a place that has implemented shitty economic and fiscal policies for decades and now it’s biting them in the ass in the worst way possible. My wish is that instead of people using this as an opportunity to bash Trump they would actually research why the island was ill prepared for Maria and why their infrastructure is way behind the times.

      That’s not going to happen though because the cronies (politicians) won’t be able to get rich, it would involve some brutal self reflection, and no one can score political points.

      1. Still no reason not to dump the Jones Act permanently. Let’s ride that wave!

    4. Gustave Lytton

      And refueling those 400-500 generators??

  48. Playa Manhattan

    WRONG AGAIN ACCUWEATHER.

    It’s 98 and sunny here. The beer isn’t cold enough.

    1. Tundra

      Weather Underground is better. Unfortunately.

      1. I like weatherbug.

        1. MikeS

          NWS. My tax dollars are paying for it so by god, I’m going to use it!

          1. Gustave Lytton

            +1 Ayn Rand

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Their radar is great.

            You don’t realize it until Mexico. They just don’t have radar coverage down there.

          3. MikeS

            It is great. I’ve tried other sites. I will check with them during bad storms to get more than one opinion, but I’ve not seen a site with better radar.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Their maps have quite a bit of error, but at least it’s real time data.

        98 degrees, on the Pacific. Ridiculous. I picked my kids up early. No outdoor stuff there today, so swim time.

    1. Tundra

      I love South Dakota.

      (and ND. Chill out, Mike!)

      1. MikeS

        Oh man. In about one second, the rage built so much I thought I was gonna turn into the Hulk, and then I read the second sentence. That was close. I’m gonna go have 6-8 whiskey’s and some Busch Light.

        1. Tundra

          No worries. I’m gonna always have a case of Busch Light for you in the guest cabin on my SoDak ranch!

          1. MikeS

            I have a feeling when we talk about my visit it will go something like this

          2. Tundra

            I’m not gonna have a fucking pool!

            But yeah, pond would be good for you…

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Busch lite is great for marinating carne asada, which I assume is delicious in the Dakotas.

          4. MikeS

            *note to self: when visitors point at my 30 pack of Busch Light and laugh, tell them it’s for marinating the carne asada for the next cookout that they aren’t invited to.*

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I love the responses.

      Did you know that it only takes 3.8 million dollars for the NRA to control America? Somebody should tell Soros!

      1. DOOMco

        i think the “they have an airport?!!” responses set the tone nicely.

    3. DEG

      Beautiful!

    4. Q Continuum

      That doosh has a Wikipedia entry (that I’d but 100 bucks he wrote himself).

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Sinyangwe

      1. Gilmore

        I would quintuple the bet

        a quick scan of the edit-history shows its initial addition was rejected, for what seems to be “Who is this Nobody, and why do they belong in an Encyclopedia?”-reasons

        as 1 reviewer who rejected it said, “References cited must be about him, not by him – Declining submission: bio – Submission is about a person not yet shown to meet notability guidelines (AFCH 0.9)) (undo)”

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:96.250.162.204

        i’ve noticed that lots of these “i wrote 2 articles for Huffpo” activist-type people like to puff up their apparent credentials by describing themselves as “policy analysts” or “Data scientists”…

        …when you look for their background, they’ve basically done nothing with their lives except recently graduate from college, and add some derp to the left-wing-internet-media-derposphere.

        and despite the guy being very insistent on over-detailing his resume.. he doesn’t actually specify what his degree was. which looks like some gender-studies department type shit.

  49. Winston

    Classical liberalism is weird. It is an ideology that made large numbers of people free and wealthy yet it was killed by its own success and it is today pretty much totally discredited.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      I don’t know about discredited but indeed it was a victim of its own success. Progressivism is the viral, parasitical result living off that success.

      I hold out for some kind of renaissance for classical liberalism.

      1. Winston

        The Biggest problem Is Income Inequality. People are wealthier than ever but why are there still poor people? We are rich so why not redistribute the wealth from haves to have nots?

        Another is that representative government and universal suffrage which supported the “goverment is us!” Attitude so why not use it to benefit everyone? Classical liberalism benefitted from the fact that the commoners, the vast majority of society, thought the government was corrupt, out of touch and only concerned with their own privileges. Since the government was controlled by the king, aristocrats and the Church this was easy to believe (hence my remarks about high/low trust societies) so classical liberalism fell on fertile ground.

        Another is war. How do you keep non-liberal societies from conquering liberal ones without the warfare state?

        Public schools were another big problem. They were supposed to save liberalism from reactionary Catholics but it involved government employees teaching kids, saying that kids are the property of the state and that education is the purview of the state so why not solve other social issues?

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          We have many much welfare but still have poor people. Hobos even!

          1. Rhywun

            Like this guy?

            Bonus points for another round of Deblasio/Cuomo hissy fight.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            At least the NYPD Commissioner made some sense.

          3. Rhywun

            It’s not like the MTA doesn’t have a team of people who try to get help for these types. But they typically refuse any help (like shelters) as being worse than just sleeping anywhere and being left alone.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      How do you figure it’s totally discredited?

      1. Winston

        Name a policitician, academic, or media personality who is a classical liberal.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I think Stossel at least tries

        2. Stinky Wizzleteats

          It may just be semantics but discredited and unpopular aren’t the same thing. I’d also argue politics, academia, and the media tend to attract narcissistic wannabe oligarchs whose primary motivation is the accumulation of power and they tend to rise to the top of the hierarchy because they’re highly motivated to do so. There are plenty of people who buy into classical liberalism or some reasonable facsimile thereof, they’re just not quite so vocal.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            My primary motivation is to get laid.

          2. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Nothing wrong with that.

          3. Winston

            I’d also argue politics, academia, and the media tend to attract narcissistic wannabe oligarchs whose primary motivation is the accumulation of power and they tend to rise to the top of the hierarchy because they’re highly motivated to do so.

            And classical liberalism empowered those sorts of people.

          4. Stinky Wizzleteats

            True but that isn’t unique to CL as a political philosophy. CL actually provides an effective means whereby these sorts of people can be checked, often without violence. Bad ideas eventually lose out to good ideas but that can take a long time to occur and it can be bloody.

    3. quincy

      Not so much discredited, as willfully ignored.

      1. quincy

        D. N. McCloskey’s Bourgeois Equality is an interesting read on the subject.

      2. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, there was a clip posted the other night where the speaker was going on and on about how it lifted so many out of poverty and was interrupted with “they owned Slaves!”. Yeah, so the fuck what.

        1. quincy

          No non-formerly-slave-owning-society ever produced a smartphone able to tweet your disapproval of slavery. Nyaah.

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      It is only weird if you also accept Whig history. If you are more of a “every civilization plants the seeds of its own destruction” kind of guy, then it is no surprise.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Maybe it’s just two steps forward, one step back. Or maybe it’s Idiocracy.

      2. Winston

        Quite a few libertarians love their Whig view of history *cough*Gillespie*cough*

        It is funny reading fin de siecle English Liberals as many of them thought WWI and the Labour Party would not happen.

      3. Raven Nation

        +1 Herbert Butterfield

  50. Vhyrus

    Jesse hasn’t been on in awhile. Did STEVE SMITH finally get him? Or maybe the other way around….

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Jesse is currently on a vision quest.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Why weren’t we invited?

      2. Winston

        These euphemisms are getting weirder…

      3. Gilmore

        [cuts to Jesse in waiting room at optometrist, looking bored, reading “Boys Life” magazine]

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I just saw Jesse today. Lurking near an elementary school.

  51. Rufus the Monocled

    Jon Gruden’s facial expressions are hilarious. He’s ready to eat the camera.

    1. Trigger Hippie

      If I don’t score at least 26 points tonight I’ll be eating my fantasy football league admission fee.

      + 5 straight loses. :/

  52. DOOMco

    Hey western!
    Don’t know if you’re looking manual or auto. there are a few cheap outback xt’s around me as well. I can check em out if you see any around here before you make the drive.

  53. quincy

    New tires have fur! This amuses me.

  54. Rhywun

    Oh, Rangers.

  55. straffinrun

    Got in an argument with the wife last night. No, I don’t need an intervention, but she actually hurled a full beer can at me. I caught it with my right hand and out of the air, popped it open and took a giant swig. She actually forgot she was angry and laughed for a second.

    1. Trigger Hippie

      ‘She actually forgot she was angry and laughed for a second.’

      Then you married well.

    2. Rhywun

      alpha af

      1. straffinrun

        Nah. An alpha would’ve said, “Now why don’t you toss me a sammich”.

        1. Rhywun

          You didn’t?! SMDH

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            I don’t think they have those in the Orient.

          2. “Now why don’t you toss me a sammich number 8”

          3. straffinrun

            Your Asian wife ever toss something at you?

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            Only a right cross.

        2. KSuellington

          Bento box?

    3. quincy

      As the man in the wheelchair says: “If you can catch a can, you can dodge a divorce.”

  56. Trigger Hippie

    I think it’s far past time to retire the avatar. It was originally chosen as a sly jab at TOS(The addition of SNP only punctuated the point. If for some strange reason you wish to get it and have Google Chrome, give the image search a whirl). But as of now, any sense of betrayal and vitriol is spent.

    I no longer wish to identify myself in anyway here at Glibs as a disenfranchised refuge from TOS anymore than I wish to be identified as a former binary partisan hack refuge from one of the two main parties circa 2007.

    Goodbye, Goya. Goodbye, SNP. Tomorrow I move on…

    1. Playa Manhattan

      So…. your new name is…

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Same name, new picture…

        At TOS I originally toyed with the handle: Sony Gurm

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PBlLapsvDCs

        1. NOT a Naked Intruder

          Oh, God….please do that!

          Bill S. is the shizznite in Crazy People.

    2. Lackadaisical

      I could never tell what your avatar was supposed to be.

      1. Goya’s The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters

        1. Trigger Hippie

          ^

        2. Count Potato

          They make the best canned beans too.

          1. But Enough About Me

            I’m particularly fond of their Habichuelas Rosadas.

    3. Q Continuum

      Given your proclivities, it’s gotta be something cannabis related.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        I’m leaning towards a quasi-selfie.

        I may or may not have been really fucking high after a horrible day at work.

    4. straffinrun

      I was gonna use this. Feel free. Photo shop a top hat, can of PBR and a sammich and you’re good to go.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        God, I’m so turned on right now! It’s almost as hot as a regional production of Chicago!

      2. Trigger Hippie

        *Finally takes the hint bludgeoning me over the head*

        Ha! That’s kinda fucked up.

        I approve.

        1. straffinrun

          The age of consent.

    5. Trigger Hippie

      I left out a couple e’s in there. Piss off.

  57. Q Continuum

    I have sympathy for someone born with a chronic disease like this, but FFS grow the fuck up. Anthropomorphizing it and whining like this is pathetic. This seems like another notch on the belt of victimhood Olympics culture. “I’m being victimized by my condition waaaa waaaa waaaa!!!” Yeah, it sucks. Everyone’s got shit to deal with though, gut up or shut up.

    http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/23/you-drained-me-of-everything-i-had-an-open-letter-to-my-crohns-disease-7013326/

    1. Q Continuum

      There used to be strength and honor in overcoming adversity. It used to be laudable to face down demons and overcome obstacles. Now, it’s a race to the bottom for who can be the biggest, most pathetic victim of this, that or the other. It’s the opposite of Nietzsche’s Will To Power. Stop the Earth I wanna get off.

  58. Ken Shultz

    Yeah, so, at this point in the game, do I expect to win?

    The correct answer is “no”.

    However, I am becoming cautiously optimistic.

    HTTR

    1. Q Continuum

      ?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        That was the most Ken post I have ever read.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          It’s a little late to come out of the closet, but good for him.

          1. Ken Shultz

            What closet?!

            I wasn’t in no closet.

      2. Ken Shultz

        HTTR
        Hail victory
        Braves on the warpath . . .

        1. You know who else hailed victory?

          1. Ken Shultz

            Was it Robert E. Lee?

          2. Q Continuum

            Trump?

          3. Ken Shultz

            Mark Rypien?
            Sonny Jurgensen?
            Dave Butz?
            Russ Grimm?
            Joe Jacoby?
            Charlie Taylor?
            Art Monk?

            Joe Gibbs! It was Joe Gibbs.

            Amirite?

          4. Yusef drives a Kia

            The Coach? or the Team owner? Distinction with a difference

          5. straffinrun

            Leon Lett?

          6. Gilmore

            lol

            Didn’t leon drop the ball while celebrating *twice*? I know he did it once, in the snow, but i feel like it was magnified by repeat-occurrence.

            i recall in the (i think) mid-late-90s we used the term “leon lett” to describe any sort of ‘pants falling down while you’re trying to look cool’ thing.

          7. straffinrun

            He got caught by Beebe and ran the wrong on another occasion.

          8. straffinrun

            Oops. He tried to jump on a blocked FG and gave the Dolphins another shot to win it.

          9. Gilmore

            Ahh, the snow was the field goal error

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUYVifM0vCQ

            then the ‘celebrating and losing the ball’ was the super-bowl

            I only knew his name because of those incidents. but i remember someone else saying it was a shame because he was one of the best defensive players of his era.

      3. quincy

        !!

      4. Rhywun

        1. Q Continuum

          ¿

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      That would be NO.

      Fly.
      Eagles.
      Fly.

  59. Ken Shultz

    I’m no longer cautiously optimistic.

    Whatever optimism I have at this point is nothing short of reckless.

    I’m recklessly optimistic and trending towards bitterly optimistic.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      I…. what?

      1. Ken Shultz

        Despairing cursing rage
        attends their rapid fall

        http://tinyurl.com/y7pcfdjk

      2. Rhywun

        World’s worst haiku

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      You ran up against Ginger Jesus, being assisted by the soul of Lukas Kusters. The game was lost from the start.

  60. antisthenes

    So, it looks like life is done being merely more ridiculous than the Onion, and is prepared to take things to Ludicrous Speed. I just glanced at the bunch of Dole bananas sitting on my kitchen island, and noticed that the sticker prominently displays the logo for the upcoming Star Wars movie. Star Wars fucking bananas. Even Yogurt didn’t go that far.

      1. Count Potato

        IT’S GOING TO MAKE THE FRIGGIN’ FROGS GAY!!!

  61. Gilmore

    via Instapundit

    an article by Andrew Sullivan, which attributes great-significance to “the immigration issue”, and a boat-anchor around the necks of democrats

    The entire concept of a nation whose citizens solely determine its future — the core foundation for any viable democracy at all — is now deemed by many left-liberals to be a function of bigotry. This is the kind of madness that could keep them from power indefinitely.

    Tyler Cohen wrote something @ Bloomberg, which had some parallel, if different, themes.

    … where he looked at european and american and asian political trends… but used used the term “Culture” as being the key-factor in the rise of right-wing pols; that all were tied to changing attitudes about cultural vulnerability… His point basically being, “Its NOT the Economy, Stupid”.

    I am not so sure about either analysis. Part of the problem is the inability to differentiate rhetoric (stated preference) from behavior (demonstrated preference). Sullivan glosses past a great example which could have been more revealing than it was: Obama’s actually very harsh policy stance on illegal immigrants, while mouthing platitudes to voters about how much he cared.

    Basically, he knew his pandering bullshit mattered more to the left than the reality. Same with war.

    As for cowen… i dunno. I think what applies to Europe makes sense. But as appealing as it might be to try to draw parallels between US immigration-anxiety and European ones… they are, in my view, in many ways fundamentally different. The US assimilates huge #s of incoming people and has done for a century. Europe, hasn’t ever, really. Also: their conflict over whether or not to absorb huge #s is more to do with economic necessity. they need them, in many ways. whereas we don’t, really. Anyway. Interesting stuff at least.

    1. CPRM

      My libertarian nerd rage for the night:

      The Supergirl TV show takes place in a different universe, with a totally woke woman president, but they still had to shoehorn in a latino saying “They’re building a wall to keep us out!”. They can’t help but inject their politics into everything, even if it doesn’t fit, they just ram it in like Harvey Weinstein with an empty water bottle.

      1. Gilmore

        Oh, they did in the TV show “Mindhunter” too.

        I like the show quite a bit (with some minor complaints – e.g. i was commiserating with… Q i think, about how the main character has some acting-style issues)…

        …but!… there have been a few moments in the first season where it seems obvious that someone in the production department plants a SJW flag and said, “Here is where we insert some Woke Dialogue”.

        e.g. in episode 7 (?) the three main characters (#1 old-school male FBI agent, #2 younger, more-woke FBI agent, #3 secret lesbian academic expert on deviant psychology) are talking about one of their serial-killer subjects, and she gets all huffy when she hears #1 pick on the serial killer’s cross-dressing habit. She’s like “LOTS OF PEOPLE CROSS DRESS AND ARENT MURDERERS!! ITS NOT EVEN LIKE SEMI-UNUSUAL”…

        ….it wasn’t that her opinion was totally out of character (*it was clearly part of her sub-plot, where she struggles with her own hidden life)… it was that her sudden uppity yelling at dudes and lecturing them about the relative normalcy of transvestites was simply “out of period”. The movie “Dressed to Kill” came out in 1980. “Psycho” was still popular on re-runs. I could believe a character, particularly an expert on ‘deviant psychology’, might want to try to calmly lecture her peers that popular-fears about Trans-ness were possibly overblown…. but for her to start indignantly yelling at people that they were cavemen for daring to criticize the serial killers sexual habits….

        …yeah, no= That’s Twitter Talking. Even the idea of a grown professional woman yelling at – *shaming* – FBI agents… was just implausible. ignoring the subject of trans-ness; just the idea that outsider Lady Academic could just assert her authority in that environment? Women’s lib was popular on college campuses, but the FBI was a 1950s culture. It just didn’t ring true in the slightest.

    2. straffinrun

      I wonder how much the internet has fueled the rise of “populism” as they define it. The people that become the most “Japanese” aren’t the ones that run their father’s father’s father’s kimono business. They’re the ones that come back after years abroad and see the deficits of other cultures rather than some romanticized version. Now days, you don’t need to go abroad to get a, certainly distorted, view of other cultures. Weaponized confirmation bias. As for “economic necessity”, hopefully a silver lining will emerge where Western Europe finally realizes that Ponzi scheme welfare systems are ultimately destructive.

      1. Gilmore

        Both good points.

        I think the nativist sentiment in America is overblown, and overweighted, because of the internet-effect. how one postures re: immigrants is a wedge issue (sort of the way abortion was in the 1990s) becomes a defining dividing line.

        the comparison re: abortion is maybe helpful. Only a fairly small # of women actually *get* abortions during their lives. But the way it is perceived is more as a proxy for a larger issue, which is “women’s rights”; ergo, any restriction at all, or any regulation, or any policy… is seen as an unspeakable infringement on the *idea* of reproductive freedom. Never mind how few people actually get late-late-late term abortions.

        basically, often people who are affected the least can be the most-passionately vocal about it. Its a form of politics where most people have zero skin in the game, but everyone is given a say.

        i think immigration/’nativism’ has become a similar thing. its just our modern wedge issue. many people have intensely visible postures on the subject; rarely do you hear anyone say, “i don’t know, its just not important to me”. its used as a binary thing.

        1. straffinrun

          Politics is the original cable bundler. You want to see abortion? Well, you gotta buy our package which includes free tampons. You want to see gun rights? Sign up for our package that includes terrorizing drug users.

    3. Gilmore

      The US assimilates huge #s of incoming people and has done for a century. Europe, hasn’t ever, really

      minor caveat: i know that “hasn’t ever” part isn’t really true. There are large immigrant populations in many EU countries which arrived in different periods and are pretty well assimilated, more or less.

      Its more that the current idea of ‘uncontrolled’ immigration, as part of the EU mandate, where countries are obligated to share an open-door ideal? is new, and not necessarily compatible with all member-states. Even ignoring the outside mobs of arabs and africans: many EU countries were already facing domestic political backlashes from the flood of Eastern European labor that moved west, to france and UK… See: Macron, and his aggressive stance toward Poland

      basically, the comparison of US and EU doesn’t work because their “insiders/outsiders” dynamics are already far more complex than the US’; where here, its a mostly one-dimensional subject: “less illegal mexicans”. There, it has like 4 dimensions. Even if they all agree to limit the arab refugees, there are pressures even against the internal movement of labor within the EU.

  62. CPRM

    I hope ZARDOZ is pleased and doesn’t cleanse me, I’m writing my last leg of the Harvey story and I found a way to fit the Brazilian model in.

    1. straffinrun

      You touched my breeest.

      1. CPRM

        A whole generation of women raised on The Wizard.

      2. CPRM

        I know that wasn’t the reference you were making.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN SCRIPTWRITER. YOU HAVE BEEN RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY TO SKEWER THE PLANT WANKING BRUTAL WHO HAS LESIONS. ZARDOZ HAS GIVEN YOU THE GIFT OF RIDICULE. THE PARODY IS GOOD! GO FORTH AND SNARK!

      1. CPRM

        I can’t take all the credit, though I probably will if everyone actually likes it. But I have to thank alcohol.

    3. CPRM

      The big twist I jammed into part 3 meant I had to go and ad a few lines to the earlier chapters. But now it’s done…just waiting for the overlords. Who wants next?