Tuesday Morning Links

Minimal sports updates. The Rangers won. The Crapitals beat the woeful Coyotes in OT, The Maple Leafs beat Army Las Vegas. The Bruins went wild over Minnesoda. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets! top Dallas. And Detroit tops the Canucks.

A bunch of former players think thy have what it takes to run the USSF. Hey, anybody would be an improvement over Gulati.  The knives are coming out at Arsenal, which means it must be November. West Ham hire retread David Moyes to save them from relegation. If they fail, he will face the last team he couldn’t keep from dropping down. Hell, they might pass each other as Sunderland come up and the Hammers face the drop.

That’s literally all I can muster the strength to comment on in this ever-so-slow time of the year.  Thank God the international break is coming up this week so we can report on games of real consequence.

That’s all for the stick and ball stuff. Now…the links!

A metaphor for what happened at the Air Force.

The laws in place to keep assholes like the Texas church shooter from getting a gun were in place. But the Air Force shit the bed. There is no other explanation. But the lefties are still climbing on piles of bodies saying we need to close “loopholes” because he could have used them to get guns if, you know, he hadn’t have gotten them due to a government fuckup.  So just so we are on the same page: the government fucked up and this guy’s name was not put on the disqualifying list. The left wants the government to figure out a way for him not to get a gun even though the law was in place but they failed to properly implement it. Seems legit.

Crazy man goes to D.C. to “kill All white POLICE” at the White House.

A Facebook profile that appears to be Arega’s shows him “checked in” at the White House on Monday, and also includes posts with statements such as: “Now i am going to there to white House make sure kill All white POLICE !!,” “I remove the power of darkenes [sic] from USA in the powerful name of Jesus Christ !!,” and “Put Him on Jail Donald J Trump in Maighty Name of JESUS CHRRIST !!”

Well one thing is for sure: he wasn’t traveling there to compete in the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

I smell a sitcom!!!!!!! He could room with Harvey and it could be like the Odd Couple. Harvey can be the slob who rapes women and girls while Spacey is the neat-freak who rapes boys. Can I get Casey Affleck over here to direct and we can get the dude from Amazon to produce it.  This is gold, Jerry. Gold!

No-shit, for-real, lifesaving heroes.

More about hero first responders. No, seriously. These are hero first responders. God bless them for saving so many lives.

House panel approves tax plan after some changes are made. See how it affects you in the story. The Democrats on the panel say it’ll be a killer for people regardless of any changes proposed or adopted. The GOP members said it will be a boon to the economy for people to keep more of what they earn. And yes, that includes a lot of rich people. The odds are still 50/50 this passes, in my opinion. But we shall see int he coming weeks.

Welcome to San Francisco. Watch your step.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. But the solution is government, government, government! Heaven forbid you let people do what they want with their own property and let the hobos migrate somewhere else where the wealthy aren’t being soaked for idiotic freebie services while people are still literally shitting in the streets.

We have enough women drivers in the Houston area. And now the state is unleashing THIS on us? There will be carnage.

All this talk about guns lately. Well here is some more.

Good luck out there today. I hope the world treats y’all well.

Comments

628 responses to “Tuesday Morning Links”

  1. What’s all this about “first”?

    ::Slingshot engaged::

    1. A pointless achievement.

      I know from my previous track record, it brings no joy.

    2. Brochettaward

      I’ve been robbed. Cheated. My dignity and honor wounded. You have spit on the tradition of firsting, and that I cannot abide. I demand satisfaction, or a duel.

      1. Hey, look over there!

        ::runs and hides behind edit button::

    3. The Elite Elite

      Hate to break it to you Sloopy, but your comment does not have a number next to it. So Brochettaward is still first.

      1. This site does not number a top-level comment by the author of a post. Even if his comment is lower down, it will not be numbered.

        1. The Elite Elite

          As well it should. Sloopy can never be first in his links.

          1. The jokes on everybody. My comment wasn’t first anyway!

  2. Brochettaward

    I smell a sitcom!!!!!!! He could room with Harvey and it could be like the Odd Couple. Harvey can be the slob who rapes women and girls while Spacey is the neat-freak who rapes boys. Can I get Casey Affleck over here to direct and we can get the dude from Amazon to produce it. This is gold, Jerry. Gold!

    I was thinking of a sitcom based on Rand and his crazy notions of property rights and his Jap-tackling Democrat of a neighbor.

    1. Brochettaward

      To everyone else who will comment after me even though – it’s pointless, go home. If you aren’t first, you’re last. You’re a loser.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Sure thing, should we call you “Shake” or “Bake”?

    2. Actually, I’m thinking more along the lines of a Big Brother-type show. Or a Road Rules deal. You can fill it with wannabe starlets and see how many of them still sleep with Harvey in the hopes that it will further their career. Spacey’s victims will be a little trickier, as it appears he was a little more into raping underage boys. There would be consent issues, obviously. Even if we shot it in Thailand.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Aspiring barely legal genre gay porn actors should work for Spacey and they’re over eighteen. Problem solved, now let’s get this production rolling.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        How do Damon, Clooney, A. Baldwin and Ben Affleck fit in all this?

      3. commodious spittoon

        Maybe a guest spot for Weiner, in which he tries to lure young women away from Weinstein, but it always blows up on him.

  3. Drake

    Stephen Willeford and Johnnie Langendorff, there are a couple of guys I’d like to guy a beer or a box of ammo.

    1. Drake

      buy

      1. Private Chipperbot

        I’d like to guy a beer or a box of ammo.

        Euphemism?

        1. If so, it is a pretty good one.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Sounds a little guy to me.

    2. Brochettaward

      That blond CNN interviewer tends to have perfect pro-resting-bitch-face in the best of moments for her narrative, but I’m pretty sure genuine contempt for the story is also coming through.

      1. thepasswordispassword

        I can’t tell if it’s video feed delay but she starts shaking her head as the guy talks about how the dude heard the shooting and ran to respond loading his mag barefoot. Might just be pattern match fail (barefoot, panic -> bad thing initiate head shake)

        1. Probably a delay but there’s no reason to have her on screen while the other guy is talking, really.

    3. straffinrun

      “As he was doing that, Stephen shot him again in the neck….and that’s when Stephen shot him a third time in the neck again,” he continued.

      And they so wanted it to be suicide that ended this.

      1. WTF

        They really hate that it was armed citizens who stopped the attack and put the scumbag down.

        1. spqr2008

          It’s why Flight 93 is barely mentioned by the media or mainstream politicians. Because their phony baloney “Do Something” jobs might be threatened if they realize that people becoming the first responders by being there, and being active, does more to stop attacks than any LEO office, or expansion of government power like the TSA.

        2. AlexinCT

          So much this…

  4. Juvenile Bluster

    I smell a sitcom!!!!!!! He could room with Harvey and it could be like the Odd Couple. Harvey can be the slob who rapes women and girls while Spacey is the neat-freak who rapes boys. Can I get Casey Affleck over here to direct and we can get the dude from Amazon to produce it. This is gold, Jerry. Gold!

    The episode where a transgender individual happens by the house is going to be the best one of the season, IMO.

    1. Drake

      Or the one where they have important company and Felix has to sneak a 14-year-old boy out of his room.

      1. Or the one where Kevin accidentally knocks Harvey’s favorite potted plant off the balcony and has to find an exact replacement before Harvey notices.

        1. Lol. They’re both perfect. I’m sure Saturday Night Live will jump all over that idea. Well, once they do something hip and edgy about feeding koi.

      2. Chipwooder

        Or when Felix catches Oscar jerking off into the ficus…..”oh Oscar, Oscar,Oscar…”

    2. straffinrun

      Bones.

    3. Endless Mike

      I am guessing South Park is going to have a lot of fun with this – a la “Trapped in the Closet” episode level fun.
      Oh, and I, too AM FIRSTICUS!

  5. Dustin Hoffman allegedly groped Meryl Streep’s breast when they first met

    “He came up to me and said, ‘I’m Dustin — burp — Hoffman,’ and he put his hand on my breast,” the actress told Time magazine in 1979, according to Stale. “What an obnoxious pig, I thought,” she added.

    Following the alleged incident, the relationship between Meryl, 68, and Hoffman, 80, spiraled downhill, with the two actors not getting along while filming the 1979 movie Kramer vs. Kramer.

    “Meryl, why don’t you stop carrying the flag for feminism and just act the scene,” Hoffman said, according to Vanity Fair, after she suggested a change on set that would further highlight her character’s motivation.

    Those breasts are so talented they could play any role.

    1. Drake

      I think I just gained some respect for Hoffman. I doubt the first story and believe the second.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Explains the chemistry in the movie.

      1. spqr2008

        It’s funny, because the amount of pure hate between the two of them was really well “acted” in that movie.

      2. Drake

        Makes me wonder if Hoffman acted like that towards Streep to create the correct chemistry.

        1. +1 method acting

          1. thepasswordispassword

            -1 Laurence Olivier

          2. Bobarian LMD

            Hey, How do you think Olivier got Oberon to pull off such a good Cathy in Wuthering Heights?

            Pussy grabbing.

    3. Following the alleged incident, the relationship between Meryl, 68, and Hoffman, 80, spiraled downhill, with the two actors not getting along while filming the 1979 movie Kramer vs. Kramer.

      I think maybe the ‘incident’ was to help the two intentionally not get along, as the movie is about a divorce.

      1. Only 45 minutes later than Schultz. For some reason, those comments weren’t showing up.

      2. Brochettaward

        According to Streep, the decades old interview/account is “inaccurate.” Which seem to suggest she was lying at the time? Or maybe she just finds a lot of these accusations to be stupid herself, and doesn’t want to be involved. I don’t know. Story is nice and vague on details.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      Those breasts are so talented they could play any role.

      Those breasts convinced me to watch more UFC. I’m glad to hear Hoffman is in the “Zero Fucks” club.

  6. Juvenile Bluster

    West Ham hire retread David Moyes to save them from relegation.

    Ha. Nice joke.

    Everton and Scottish national team supporters breathe huge sighs of relief.

    1. robc

      It remains to be seen, but I think Everton has their man now.

      Unsworth with Big Dunc as his assistant to keep the players in line. Or else.

    2. pan fried wylie

      Nice joke

      In what language? Is this another toy from the BBC pigdin people?

  7. It’s a mystery…

    Europe’s Strange Underperformance
    The region’s economy is on a high, yet shares are still trailing the U.S.

    The euro zone economy is on a tear, with everything from Italian industrial orders to French growth to demand from German factories furnishing evidence that the bloc is more than compensating for the U.K.’s tepid post-Brexit outlook. That’s translating into a decent earnings beat for the companies in the Euro Stoxx 600 index in the current reporting season.

    The earnings outlook, moreover, is bright. The consensus forecast is for earnings per share for the members of Europe’s benchmark stock index to jump by 35 percent in the coming quarter, compared with estimates for about a 20 percent average increase for the constituents of the U.S. Standard & Poor’s 500 index.

    But after a brief period of outperformance earlier in the year, European shares have lagged their U.S. counterparts, with the latter being boosted by hopes for wide-ranging corporate tax cuts which may or may not materialize.

    1. Hyperion

      At least everyone in Europe believes their standard of living is higher than in the USA, even if they’re living in a shack with a dirt floor. Isn’t that what truly counts?

    2. pan fried wylie

      rates versus totals, how do they work?

      At the grocery store last week I was treated to an old woman demanding the cashier teach her how price/lb works in the processes of purchasing a single banana.

    3. Microaggressor

      Bad luck strikes again.

  8. Juvenile Bluster

    Also, election day. Chris Christie has made sure the Democrat candidate is going to win in New Jersey, and win by double digits. And whoever wins the Virginia governorship, the state loses.

    I’m celebrating that it’s only one more year before Florida is rid of Governor Skeletor.

    1. Drake

      Christie didn’t do the NJ GOP any favors, but I doubt it really mattered. People are stupid and have forgotten what it was like to have Jon Corzine as Governor – so they are now going to elect his clone.

      1. WTF

        Yup, because they think New Jersey doesn’t have high enough taxes and enough regulations. I like how the Murphy commercials blame New Jersey’s lagging economy on Christie, because Democratic control of both houses of the legislature for decades has nothing to do with it.

        1. commodious spittoon

          With uniparty rule they can finally get things done. I’m guessing statewide sanctuary status, and a high speed railway… somewhere.

          1. Drake

            A high-speed tunnel into NYC where NJ gets all the costs and NY gets all the fares.

          2. DesigNate

            I see you are familiar with the local crime syndicate government way of doing business.

    2. Mr Lizard

      Ya he’s due to rotate back to the homeworld. Although FloridaMan needs to be thankful he killed the high speed rail back in 2010

      1. Florida Man

        I pay very little attention to the machinations of reptiles, but I am glad the choo-choo died.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Unfortunately he’s running for Senate, so he may be the nation’s problem soon.

    3. Chipwooder

      The state loses…..but the bitter infighting that would follow a Northam loss will be exquisite, so at least there’s entertainment value.

  9. Sen. Tim Kaine, Democratic vice presidential candidate: I thought we would win, but I was more wary than many for the simple reason that the U.S. had never elected a woman president and still has a poor track record of electing women to federal office.

    1. Joel Benenson, Clinton campaign chief strategist: I go into the 10 o’clock call and we’re getting reports from the analytics people and the field people. And they finish, and whoever’s leading the call asks if there’s anything else. I said, “Well, yeah, I got a call 20 minutes ago from my daughter in Durham, North Carolina. People are standing on line and aren’t moving, and are now being told they need to vote with paper ballots.” To me, that was the first sign that something was amiss in our boiler room process. That’s essential information. We needed those reports so the legal team would activate. I was stunned, and actually quite nervous. I thought, “Do we even have what we need on the ground to manage election day?”

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      We almost had a woman VP too!

      Damn wreckers.

      1. Calling Tim Kain a woman is an insult to women everywhere.

    3. Steve Bannon: Jared [Kushner] and I were out on this balcony in Trump Tower. We looked at it on Jared’s iPhone. And the numbers were so bad that we regrouped inside. We look at each other and we go, “This can’t be right. It just can’t.” And Jared goes, “I got an idea, let’s call Drudge.” And Drudge says, “The corporate media—they’ve always been wrong the entire time—these numbers are wrong.”

    4. Last one; Trump’s attitude is interesting to me:

      Steve Bannon: Drudge snapped us out of it, saying, “You guys are a couple of jamokes. Wait until the second exit polls come out, or later.” We called the candidate and told him what the numbers were and what Drudge had said. And then we said, “Hey, ya know, we left it all on the field. Did everything we can do. Let’s just see how it turns out.”

      1. Brochettaward

        The thought of Drudge calling Kushner and Bannon jamokes is perfect. Matches my image of him perfectly.

      2. Count Potato

        Even though the Democrats tried to make a big deal out of saying Trump said he wouldn’t necessarily accept the results. I’m sure Trump would have taken a loss much better than Hillary. Trump already had a full life outside of politics.

        1. WTF

          And it’s for certain that Trump supporters wouldn’t be having a year-long tantrum in the streets.

          1. So you’re saying all the Trumpsters who got on talk radio and claimed that we are on the edge of no return and if she wins it’s all over man, put a fork in us we done, were lying and they would have shrugged their shoulders and said ‘oh well, thems the breaks.”

          2. WTF

            Yes, because they have jobs and the extremists are few, unlike the left where there really are no moderates since the Democratic party decided to go full-on socialist pushing deliberately divisive identity politics.
            Do you really believe the Republicans would have reacted/behaved the same way, even though they were willing to quietly accept 8 years of Obama, or are you just trolling?

          3. Brochettaward

            I’m not saying Hyperbole is Bo, but he’s certainly Bo-like.

          4. I just find the disconnect between the urgency and ‘oh my god most important election ever’ rhetoric I heard every day all day on conservative radio before the election and the ‘ha ha look at how seriously the left are taking this loss’ now that it’s over. Seems like you’re admitting that all the pre-election fear mongering was just that and no one on the right really meant it, while the left did.

          5. WTF

            Yeah, definitely a whiff of Bo about him. With maybe a little MNG thrown in.

          6. I’m not saying Hyperbole is Bo, but he’s certainly Bo-like

            A few days back some commenters were complaining about the lack of dissenting voices here. I’m just trying to help.

          7. WTF

            Just the way he makes assertions, mis-characterizes positions, and tries to “refute” arguments that were never made.

          8. Bo knows griefing…Hyperbole ain’t no Bo.

          9. WTF

            Hyperbole?
            Coincidence? I think not!

          10. I’ll tell you why I think they would have just let it go gracefully. Because they did the last two election cycles when the shrieking baboons on right-wing radio were saying the O-Romney and O-McCain elections were a defining moment and there’d be no turning back of the left won.

            They accepted defeat and got to work laying their plans out to retake the House and Senate. They didn’t applaud people rioting and they didn’t associate everybody opposed to them as Nazis or the (other) leftist equivalent of Nazis.

          11. bacon-magic

            Well said Sloopy, except for the baboon part. Dat racist yo.

          12. Good point Sloop, however it did seem worse this time around. Could be because I didn’t listen to Breitbart 5 -10 years ago. Sure Beck and Limbaugh stressed and pressed the importance of those elections, but they didn’t have caller after caller saying ‘We’re doomed!!’ and ‘This is it, America is over if Trump loses’ Hell I heard callers admit to losing sleep and not knowing what they will do and more than one not so thinly veiled threats of armed rebellion. I’m not so certain that the right wouldn’t have had a little freak out themselves, not as big or wide spread as the left but I don’t believe it would have been a collective bootstrap pulling and nose to the grindstoning.

    5. Okay, one more: Jerry Falwell Jr.: My 17-year-old daughter, Caroline, had been following the election. It’s the first time she’s ever followed politics. And she was so nervous about the result that her stomach got upset. She told her brother, “I think I’m gonna throw up.” So he took off his Trump hat and she threw up in it, right next to Laura Ingraham.

      1. *Paging SugarFree…*

        1. SugarFree

          What more is there to do? It’s a perfect and sufficient vignette.

          1. Indeed…I suppose merely expand upon it with reaction from the Hat?

          2. Private Chipperbot

            It orgasmed just as the stringy mucous tickled the headband?

          3. WTF

            “The hat shuddered with pleasure as it felt the sting of the butyric acid in the slimy noxious gruel adsorb into its felt lining….”

          4. SugarFree

            If anyone is an emtophiliac, the hat fits the bill.

    6. robc

      A woman got an electoral vote as early as 1972.

    7. DesigNate

      It would be embarrassing if there was footage somewhere of him shitting on Sarah Palin. I’m sure it doesn’t exist /s

  10. Naked in Nisku: Strange crash ends in five arrests

    Leduc RCMP said they responded to a two-vehicle collision at 9:47 a.m. on Township Road 510, where they found a vehicle in the ditch and five people who were not clothed.

    “Yes, they were naked,” RCMP Cpl. Laurel Scott confirmed over the phone with Metro.

    Scott said the nude occupants were comprised of one man and four women.

    All five were arrested and taken to hospital, but Scott said she could not comment on the extent of their injuries.

    The temperature was about -10 C at the time of the collision, according to Environment Canada.

    How many quadraloons is that?

    1. -10C? What’s that in real temperatures?

      14 degrees? A bit shilly for skyclad.

    2. straffinrun

      Bet that dude was frozen stiff.

      1. *narrows frosty gaze*

        1. MikeS

          Cool it!

          1. ICEE™ what you did there.

          2. bacon-magic

            Bet blue balls was the cause of the crash.

          3. Rasilio

            Bet he was feeling Blue after the crash

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Law enforcement officials said Mr. Kelley may have been driven by anger toward his estranged wife’s family

    Imagine my surprise.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    The shootings came a little over a month after 58 people were killed at a concert in Las Vegas, and were the latest in a string of mass killings in the United States. They led to another round of calls for more gun restrictions, though they were muted in comparison with previous tragedies, perhaps because gun-control advocates realized that a Republican-controlled Washington would not give in on gun rights.

    Check all the boxes, NYT.

    1. WTF

      Last night flipping through channels I saw Juan Williams complaining about here is another “gun tragedy” and yet “nothing gets done!” Okay Juan, please explain what additional law would have prevented this from happening, and how it would work.

      1. Count Potato

        None of the laws passed in NY and CT after Newtown would have prevented that shooting either.

        1. WTF

          I think it was in one of yesterdays threads that someone pointed out that the laws are intended to fail, so they can keep ratcheting further and further restrictions until they get to confiscation. That’s their dream, anyway.

          1. Drake

            The laws are designed to make it a giant pain in the ass for law abiding citizens. I applied for a NJ pistol purchase permit in early July and bought the thing on Saturday. Do they really think a criminal with a wad of cash would jump through those hoops – or need to?

            *Edit Fairy Clean Up on Aisle 5*

          2. WTF

            They are blissfully unaware of gang bangers in Newark, Camden, and Paterson.

          3. Drake

            I’m sitting at somebody else’s desk today and hate this keyboard.

            #Hillary Excuses

      2. JaimeRoberto

        The government effed up. So let’s give more power to the government. Sounds legit.

        1. AlexinCT

          That’s team blue’s dogma 100% of the time..

  13. Men, Feminists and the Media

    There is a topic of feminism that concerns me and I would like to discuss. Real life is full of powerful women, but they’re nearly absent in fiction. That’s a disservice to half of the world’s total population, and all too often women in fiction are oversexualized. When this oversexualization and weakness is broken in fiction I take great joy, but it’s still rare. Tragically even the strongest women characters have fallen victim to oversexualization. Those in the entertainment, arts, music and/or theater arenas must put full effort into making powerful women characters.

    So how then should powerful women be shown in fiction? Stereotypes need to be broken. For instance, a truly powerful and intelligent heroine rather than the classic melodrama stereotype of the high-pitched, helpless, pristine and dumb damsel-in-distress. I love seeing anything different from that kind of stereotype, and that is still rare to find.

    The norm is still one of women being at the bottom, helpless and objectified, and men’s manhood being “proven” through violence, total self sufficiency and showing no emotions under any circumstances from peaceful to violent and traumatic. The lack of emotion part is easily the greatest stressor the media puts on men, and the biggest obstacle to gender equality on the male end. Emotions are just natural feelings and part of our very existence as human beings. Am I simply a feminist just by showing emotions? Is it that bad?

    1. Drake

      So the stereotype is all wrong – except it applies to her?

    2. WTF

      Hey, if that shit made money because that’s what most people wanted, someone would be producing it.

    3. The Elite Elite

      So the writer want more of this?

    4. So how then should powerful women be shown in fiction? Stereotypes need to be broken. For instance, a truly powerful and intelligent heroine rather than the classic melodrama stereotype of the high-pitched, helpless, pristine and dumb damsel-in-distress. I love seeing anything different from that kind of stereotype, and that is still rare to find.

      The norm is still one of women being at the bottom, helpless and objectified, and men’s manhood being “proven” through violence, total self sufficiency and showing no emotions under any circumstances from peaceful to violent and traumatic.

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHA!

      What year is this guy living in? 1950? In case he hasn’t noticed, in *current year* strong independent women who are just as good if not better than the guys are frikkin everywhere in fiction.

      1. The Elite Elite

        You’re forgetting the most important part.

        Tragically even the strongest women characters have fallen victim to oversexualization.

        These womyn can’t be subject to the male gaze. All these strong independent womyn kicking ass are all highly attractive. Unacceptable. You must not find them attractive at all. They must be hideous.

      2. And boring. They’re never allowed to have problems, or make mistakes, or be human. It shears the soul of storytelling to remove such attributes in the name of “Strength”. True strength is not the absense of flaws or adversity, it is the overcoming of them.

    5. SugarFree

      Male feminist writer on the Internet? Odds are good he’s a rapist.

      1. Microaggressor

        “Male feminist here, can I get laid now? I’ve been a good boy.”

    6. pan fried wylie

      if it ain’t tearful sobbing, it ain’t Emotions, and so men don’t have them. Case closed.

      Somebody send this moran a copy of Rocky.

  14. Drake

    Democrats Drive Toward the Cliff and Hit the Gas

    The GOP is a mess of stupidity. The DNC is so much worse.

    1. Count Potato

      “What also recently happened was an illegal alien ran over a Muslim girl in Virginia, which kind of messes up the whole narrative. And then the Muslim Schumer visa lottery immigrant – Refugees welcome! – in New York ran over a bunch of people in a pick-up truck, including five Argentines. So, current events made the ad a bit awkward.”

      Only if facts matter.

    2. Grumbletarian

      Pretty funny article. I also hope plenty of camera-thems are around to cover the apopleptic fits the left will have if Gillespie wins there.

    3. robc

      The GOP is supposed to be the stupid party (and they still are) and the Dems the evil party. But the Dems have decided to be the stupid evil party instead.

    4. Hyperion

      “but what’s the right family-friendly adjective for the Democrat Party? “The Moronic Party?” “The Mind-Bogglingly Nuts Party?”

      Commies.

  15. Nephilium

    Election day… here in Ohio we had two state wide issues:

    Issue 1 – Crime Victim Rights Initiative, for which I don’t remember seeing or hearing a single ad for or against this.

    Issue 2 – Drug Price Standards Initiative, which is where all the advertising has been focused.

    I voted against both, which based on past performance, means both will pass.

    1. We have the referendum on a constitutional convention (I plan to vote no), a proposed amendment allowing pensions to be stripped from elected officials convicted of a felony related to their job (I plan to vote yes), and a land bank amendment which is garbage related to the rock stupid “forever wild” Adirondak impoverishment clauses. Plus one judge the county clerk and two coroners.

      1. two coroners

        ?

        You all dropping like flies up there?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Too much excitement

        2. I don’t know why, But there are two on the ballot. We’re guaranteed at least one Democrat, because there are only three candidates for the posts.

          1. WTF is up with the slating on that ballot? Democrat AND Conservative at the same time?

          2. The “Conservative” Party of New York is not Conservative. It exists merely to exist, and backs whatever candidate will A: get them the most money, and B: get them enough votes to remain on the ballots. They don’t stand by principles much (if at all)

      2. Private Chipperbot

        You vote for coroners? I thought that would be a last straw type of position.

        1. straffinrun

          ✓ Quincy.

        2. In many places, the coroner was the only county official that could arrest the sheriff…

        3. They don’t actually do the autopsies, that is performed by pathologists. Electing County Coroners is like electing Judges and Attorneys General.

          1. Private Chipperbot

            /dejectedly sets down bag of random tools.

          2. robc

            KY has elected coroners and you still get to go to the gruesome death scenes. A friend of mine’s mother was the coroner in their county, I have heard stories.

    2. A Fuggin White Male

      There’s been a fuckton of spending on anti-Issue 2 ads. That usually makes me wonder what’s really going on with issue 2.

    3. spqr2008

      I’m going to be voting against both, as the Issue 1 has the last part that I’m not comfortable with: The ability to refuse an interview with the accused (I assume this will also mean depositions by the accused’s lawyer, and that’s the part I take issue with).

      1. WTF

        Doesn’t the constitution guarantee the right to confront your accuser? I don’t see how that could stand.

      2. Roger Wilco

        That sounds unconstitutional (6A)

      3. Nephilium

        And I just now see that the Issue 1 link is SF’ed:

        https://ballotpedia.org/Ohio_Issue_1,_Crime_Victim_Rights_Initiative_(2017)

        Yeah, once I got to this part:

        the amendment would provide victims with: … to refuse discovery requests made by the accused, except as authorized by Article I, Section 10 of the Ohio constitution

        I started getting concerned… since this bill’s title is:

        To repeal and replace the existing language in Section 10a of Article I of the Constitution of the State of Ohio

        1. Hell no to that.

          I’ve seen too many cases of the wrongfully accused, be it by lie or mistake of identity. To give differential legal treatment between the accuser and accused before facts have been determined is simply wrong.

          1. MikeS

            The push for these state constitutional changes is coming to every state in the Union. Keep an eye open.

            https://marsyslaw.us/

    4. robc

      No elections this year. In two years will be governor’s race, but we get an off year 1 in 4.

    5. MikeS

      Is #1 “Marsey’s Law?” That whole thing is a bunch of bullshit. Some rich fuck from the west coast is spending his money to water down the rights of the accused because of some tragedy that befell his sister. He didn’t like how his family was treated in the aftermath so he is on a mission to buy his way into every state constitution in the country. At least here in NoDak it was a fucking constitutional amendment.

      1. Nephilium

        Yep, it’s Marsey’s Law, and it is a proposed amendment to the state constitution. Ballotpedia shows $0 spent in opposition to this, with just media editorials (and who the fuck reads those anymore), the Public Defender, and the ACLU opposed.

        1. spqr2008

          If it didn’t totally fuck over discovery, or alter the constitution of the state, I could see passing legislation through the Ohio House and Senate that does most of the same things (notification of trials, releases, probabtion, etc.) once the person is convicted, but the pre conviction stuff is what gets to vote no on it.

          1. Nephilium

            From the Public Defender’s statement, we already do most of those things on the state level:

            Ohio does not have this problem. Ohio law requires prosecutors to notify victims when a defendant is arrested or eligible for pretrial release. In 1998, Ohio implemented one of the nation’s first automated victim notification systems, which offers victims information 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

          2. Psycho Effer

            My rule of thumb is to always vote against legislation named after the victim of a tragedy.

          3. spqr2008

            Makes me feel even better about voting no.

        2. MikeS

          Here basically every state lawyer group was opposed -prosecutors and defense attorneys. IIRC all 52 county sheriffs were opposed, many victims rights groups were opposed…on and on the list goes. But this fucker spent $2.5 million and got his sister’s name enshrined in our state constitution.

      2. MikeS

        FYI, here’s a good article about the ND version of it:

        Controversial Marsy’s Law would extend constitutional rights to ND crime victims

        One problem, according to critics, is that Marsy’s Law broadly defines victims, and provides that victims can “seek the advice of an attorney with respect to their rights,” language that could be interpreted to mean victims have the same right to legal representation as indigent defendants, Wefald said.

        But Mark Friese, a defense lawyer and former Bismarck police officer, said the vague definition of victim is a major flaw that would create major headaches for law enforcement.

        As an example, he said a performer or streaker at a concert could flash the crowd—and, under the law, every member would be considered a victim, and would have to be given a Marsy’s Law card informing them of their rights.

  16. Crazy man goes to D.C. to “kill All white POLICE” at the White House.

    Dunphy hardest hit?

    1. Brett L

      If he were really a cop, maybe.

      1. SugarFree

        He’s dumb enough, self-righteous enough and arrogant enough to be a cop.

    2. WTF

      Fortunately for him he was at a power-lifting surf competition with his wife, Morgan Fairchild.

  17. Brett L

    We have enough women drivers in the Houston area. And now the state is unleashing THIS on us? There will be carnage.
    I remember that. There was a rash of women parking their cars on the heads of their perhaps unfaithful husbands. I always expect more of this in Florida, but maybe the Caribbean influence causes more, uh, up close and personal methods of assuaging their honor.

    1. Hell hath no Plymouth Fury like a woman scorned.

      1. egould310

        +slant 6

  18. Fascism, Satire and Subversion of Hollywood: Starship Troopers Turns 20

    For all the above, Starship Troopers has surprisingly progressive gender politics. Sexism is entirely absent. Women play sports, serve and shower with men, all without remark. Being cynical, one could argue that this is just a reason to show soapy tits during the unisex bathroom scenes. However Verhoeven, while crazier than a shithouse rat, is an earnest feminist. On the directors commentary he lamented that test audiences hated that Rico ultimately ends up with the woman that left him to pursue her career. The director thought he was being a good feminist by letting her pursue her ambitions unpunished. The rival love interest, Dizzy, was male in the novel but gender flipped in the screenplay. When a male general fails he is replaced by a more competent female commander. These genderblind, open minded choices feel strange when placed in the middle of all this reaction. It is possible that this is a tactic used to make us cheer the badass women before we realise that they are badasses in the service of a horrible, higher goal. Perhaps this is as much about liberal democracies’ fascist tendencies as much as the historical Nazi period.

    1. Neither Sky Marshal in that movie was “Competent”.

      1. Mr Lizard

        In all fairness when your species begins interstellar expansion we fully expect them to commit ground troops with absolutely no air cover or orbital bombardment support. Also I can totally see you mammals grouping your ships at near-collision distance over fortified targets.

        1. Vhyrus

          This sentient reptilian gets it!

          1. pan fried wylie

            I believe the preferred nomenclature is ‘reptiloid’.

    2. Brett L

      one could argue that this is just a reason to show soapy tits during the unisex bathroom scenes

      I mean, when life lets you accomplish your goal and show wet tits… Its just good karma.

    3. Brochettaward

      …test audiences hated that Rico ultimately ends up with the woman that left him to pursue her career.

      I disagree with the artist here, as much as I love Starship Troopers. She cheated on the ever-faithful Rico.

      1. Florida Man

        I thought they were just friends at the end. Rico was a chump to throw his life away for some piece of ass.

        1. Brochettaward

          That was always my own interpretation, as well.

        2. SugarFree

          Especially one that was going to have the short shelf life of Denise Richards.

          1. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Let’s check in with Denise and see what she looks like today

            I’m so unwilling to click, I’m just going to go ahead and disable my internet. *unplugs internet tubes*

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            Its actually not that bad. Put on softer lighting on her and she just looks like she’s old. Rather than old and hideous.

          3. bacon-magic

            Still got the crazy eyes.

          4. compgrokker

            Ehh, she’s always had those weird cheek wrinkles, they’re just better-hidden in the ’98 photo, so she mostly just needs to tone down the raccoon-eye eyeliner and she’d still look decent. As it is, she looks like some middle-aged has-been prom queen still trying to hold onto her youth through caked-on makeup. Which is never a flattering look for anyone.

          5. People age. Wow, who knew.

          6. Rasilio

            Not to mention Dina Meyer >>> Denise Richards

    4. Count Potato

      “Starship Troopers arrived at a point in Verhoeven’s career where he had already helmed extravagant, often satirical, smash hit action movies like Robocop and Total Recall as well as the much mocked (but now somewhat rehabilitated) flop Showgirls. Starship Troopers, if anything, takes his love for big, broad satire and amps it up to the point where showing the world a glimpse of Sharon Stone’s crotch in Basic Instinct seems subtle. In adapting the novel by Robert A Heinlein (an actual, not-at-all ironic fascist) Verhoeven – a man that grew up in Nazi occupied Holland – and screenwriter Edward Neumeier chose to embrace and explore, rather than tone down, the propagandistic wet dream aspects of the source material.”

      Whoever wrote that doesn’t know what words mean.

      1. Florida Man

        The guy who explored multiple options to strong government was a fascist? Who knew?

        1. Florida Man

          Alternatives not options. Didn’t think that through.

      2. WTF

        Yeah, Heinlein was a fascist, because words mean whatever they want them to mean, after all.

      3. Nephilium

        Considering that Verhoeven never read the book, it makes sense that he has no idea what the book is about. The movie Verhoeven was originally making was called Bug Hunt at Outpost Nine, and they licensed it due to similarities, then tweaked the script.

        1. Explains the complete lack of power armor and drop pods.

          Yes, I read the book. No, it wasn’t any good either.

          1. SugarFree

            Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong?

          2. On those rare occassions where I am, I admit it.

            This is not one of those.

          3. Warty

            ACTSHUALLY I’M NOT WRONG I’M ACTSUALLY CORRECT

          4. bacon-magic

            The power armor was the best part.

          5. Rasilio

            They tried to have the power armor in the movies, problem was that they were too hot for the actors to be in them for more than a few minutes at a time unless they were outfitted with expensive air conditioning units and you couldn’t see the actors faces inside them so they decided to ditch it.

            That said the real issue with the movie was that the governmental system in the book was actually ancillary to the point of the book.

            The book was an examination on the nature of duty and how that motivates men to fight. The governmental system was a relatively unexamined thought experiment tied into the relationship between the power of government force and responsibility of the citizens used as little more than a backdrop to the real issue being examined in the book.

            Something Veerhoven seems to have missed is that more than half of the book takes place in one kind of classroom or another while there are only 3 battles described one of which was a quickly glossed over clusterfuck.

            That said, had they kept the movie titled Bug Hunt at Outpost 9 it would have actually been a pretty good movie and an excellent satire of nationalism and the effects of propaganda of the Cold War and the Shower scene alone would deserve an Oscar for cinematography. The problem is they tied it to a book about very big ideas and made no attempt at all to even comprehend the original source material

          6. The problem with the book is the fact that it does waste so much time. The same discussion could be demonstrated better in the field rather than having the classroom lectures. Apply the theoreticals to the situation and you can explore the same themes while not demanding the audience sit through a socratic exercise where they don’t even get to ask or respond to questions.

          7. thepasswordispassword

            They made up for it with power armored troops forming a crown of stars in the sky above a blonde maiden while she prays the Our Father before annihilating false bug gods in the third one.

      4. Juvenile Bluster

        But we got pseudo-Nazi Doogie Howser! And the co-ed naked shower! Surely that made the movie worth it.

        1. Rasilio

          Naked Dina Meyer makes any movie worth it

    5. Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s a movie about killing space bugs to get to a space worm or slug or whatever the hell that thing was. Stop over analyzing it for Christ’s sake.

      1. They clicked the “Do You Want To Know More” link.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          I keep tapping your link, and it doesn’t do the linky-linky thing. I WANT TO KNOW MORE!

        2. pan fried wylie

          I was trying to get the Roots album, gimme a break.

      2. robc

        Said by someone who hasn’t read the novel.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          What fun is it making definitive statements only on stuff you’re knowledgeable about?

          1. pan fried wylie

            Robc is the UCS of when-to-make-definitive-statements.

      3. RAHeinlein

        I see an impudent scoundrel before me.

    6. robc

      Lack of powered MI suits made the movie a failure.

      I get he didn’t like the politics of Heinlein, but to screw up the total badassedness of the MI was wrong.

    7. I hate hate hate this movie, or rather what it represents: taking the name of a book for marketing and then making a movie that is only tangentially related at best to the book. And this one adds insult to injury by being a basic 180 of the themes of the book, almost as if out of spite. It would be like making an Isaac Asimov movie with the theme that we should be wary of technology that’s just waiting to go rogue at any time, and where the heroes solve problems by hitting them until they stop being a problem (oh wait…)

      1. To be fair, The robot psychiatrist’s couch is dificult for hollywood to translate into a visual medium. Not that it can’t be done, but they by in large suck at subtle and subdued. Especially subdued science fiction.

    8. Should’ve chosen better tits. (I have a photographic memory)

      1. pan fried wylie

        Gingers, ugh.

  19. Grumbletarian

    All this talk about guns lately. Well here is some more.

    And some more.

  20. Lachowsky

    The laws in place to keep assholes like the Texas church shooter from getting a gun were in place. But the Air Force shit the bed.

    I don’t think it matters whether the air force reported to the NICS system or not. Guns are not hard to get a hold of. Prohibited person or not, there are a lot ways to get your hands on a firearm.

    1. WTF

      Somehow I don’t think that someone willing to violate the law against murder will be deterred by a law against them getting a gun.

      1. Drake

        The Vegas guy could have crashed his plane into the crowd (if he was really the shooter), the Texas guy could have wedged the church doors closed and firebombed it – both with more casualties. As Gunny Hartman said, “it’s a hard heart that kills”.

        1. pan fried wylie

          could have wedged the church doors closed and firebombed it

          This was also my first thought in response to the “If guns didn’t exist…” scenario. Too many movies maybe? Damn you Children of the Corn 2 or 3…

    2. spqr2008

      Absolutely correct, but I am willing to use the incorrect application of the law, by both the Justice Department and Department of Defense, as an argument against increasing the amount of gun laws.

  21. Bring it on…

    Doom planet Nibiru ‘ALREADY in solar system and will trigger apocalypse NEXT YEAR’

    So-called “truthers” say its huge gravitational pull will affect the Earth and unleash devastating earthquakes and tsunamis.

    Nibiru researcher Daniel Manson claims humanity must be prepared for the disaster next year, Express.co.uk reports.

    He said: “I believe that the Earth turns around Nibiru, because Wormwood is in the Venus orbit.

    “Nibiru is coming up from below at a 32-degree angle. And now the Earth is far away at the other side of the sun.

    “The Earth will come back at the same side that Nibiru does in 2018.”

    Manson has drawn up rough sketches of the solar system and Earth’s orbit around the sun to back up his claims.

    In them, Nibiru has already flown past Mercury and is dangerously close to Earth.

    1. Brett L

      Manson has drawn up rough sketches of the solar system and Earth’s orbit around the sun to back up his claims.

      Pardon me while I wait for someone smart enough to figure out modeling software to take this up.

      1. pan fried wylie

        The problem is that Blender doesn’t use large enough datatypes, so your units are restricted to like 8-9 decimals. You could do the solar system, but you couldnt model anything as small as say an asteroid in the same scene.

    2. Endless Mike

      Flash Gordon will save us…

  22. Private Chipperbot

    All this talk about guns lately.

    Thought you may go here…

  23. straffinrun

    Organizers in Portland lit incense at an outdoor food festival to cover up the stench of urine in a parking lot where vendors set up shop.

    I took a dump in the parking lot to cover up the smell of patchouli

    1. Sandi, is that you??!

    2. Michael

      This is perfectly illustrative of leftist insanity. I can only wonder what they do when the roof of their house starts leaking. Turn on the stove? Run a hair dryer?

      1. SugarFree

        Better men than you or I have tried to stop public urination in Portland. You might as well yell at the ocean for being wet.

        1. Microaggressor

          The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland

          1. JaimeRoberto

            The 1890s.

  24. LJW

    This Super Genius Claims That He’s Actually From Mars.

    “According to his mother, Boriska was able to hold his own head up at just two weeks old, could speak at just a few months old, and he was able to read and paint at one and a half.”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Does he have a business card with Super-Genius on it?

      1. Have you not seen our own Brett?

    2. straffinrun

      NASA is keeping us from viewing that page.

      1. AND THEY ARE TURNING THE FRIGGIN’ FROGS GAY!

      2. LJW

        NASA or the Martians?

      1. straffinrun

        According to Boriska, they are immortal and stop aging at an age of 35 years.

        Making Presidential elections perfect.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Perhaps this is as much about liberal democracies’ fascist tendencies as much as the historical Nazi period.

    Sometimes a shitty movie is just a shitty movie.

    1. spqr2008

      It was a fun movie (because I first saw it when I was 13, and then read the book, and realized one of these things was not like the other).

      1. Indeed, while both were subpar, one was over faster and included nudity.

    1. Drake

      Now the proud owned of the N-mobile.

      1. Chipwooder

        “Look at that big S car go!”

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Kansas State University also decided that it would continue with its stepped-up patrols, acknowledging that even though the incident wasn’t real, “the emotions were.”

      Let me tell you about my emotions. You will not be happy about them.

      1. mikey

        IOW an excuse for more OT.

      2. Microaggressor

        Fake, but accurate

    3. PBRstreetgang

      Why isn’t he being charged?

      1. “While Williams’ mistake had a decidedly negative impact on the community, please recognize that he, like many of us when we were young, is a young man who made a mistake and is now doing his best to own up to it,” department director Brad Schoen said in the release.

        *headdesk*

      2. White Privilege, dipshit!

  26. Rufus the Monocled

    ‘‘He jumped in my truck and said, ‘He just shot up the church, we need to go get him.’ And I said, ‘Let’s go,’’’

    Awesome.

    1. straffinrun

      I’m waiting for Wasserman Shultz to come out with her tell all. We can finally find out what that sludge in her hair is.

      1. Atanarjuat

        Probably lizard saliva.

    1. Atanarjuat

      Wow. I hooked up with a former Israeli Sargeant this summer in Europe, who…did not look like that. She could have kicked that girl’s ass, though.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      The Wonder Woman movie was worth it for Gal Gadot. Some great pictures of her out there when she was in the IDF.

      1. It was difficult to watch because she was so distractingly beautiful.

    3. bacon-magic

      (((Dat asssssss)))

      1. bacon-magic

        Actually ass is meh the rest is on point.

    4. Rasilio

      I think we need to declare war on Israel so I can surrender to them

  27. Rufus the Monocled

    It was just a Halloween prank that got out of hand. I wish I could go back to that night but I can’t. I just want to apologize from the bottom of my heart for the pain and news I have brought you all.”

    The sad part is indeed, you can’t do a prank anymore without it turning into a federal case or national media frenzy.

    I keep waiting for that tipping point.

  28. Old Man With Candy

    See how it affects you in the story.

    Still nearly doubles my taxes. Congrats to the Republicans, they’ve pushed me into voting for Team Blue.

    1. WTF

      Team Blue will also raise your taxes. It’s over Johnny, it’s over.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        They won’t double them overnight like Team Red wants to.

        1. Madigan got close this last year…

    2. As far as I can tell it doesn’t help my wife, who is self-employed. She’s still looking at a 35% tax rate.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        The pass-through thing?

        1. Looks like it – but I’m not savvy enough with taxes to understand this

          Architects, doctors and lawyers: The House GOP plan would implement a special 25 percent tax rate for businesses that pay taxes through the individual system. Those businesses are frequently small companies, though hedge funds, law firms and other wealthy professions also often organize their businesses that way. But professional service companies would not be eligible for the special rate under the House GOP plan, drawing the wrath of some of those industries.

          She’s not part of a firm and is just a sole proprietorship.

      2. RAHeinlein

        Assuming she files a Schedule C, she may still benefit from full expensing

    3. From the article: “and repeals the estate tax, which would benefit a tiny percentage of the wealthiest families in the country.”

      LIE.

      1. OneOut

        You lie.

        Anyone who owns anything is wealthy and should give their ill gotten wealth to the State for redistribution.

        // double derp

    4. R C Dean

      Still nearly doubles my taxes.

      I’m curious as to how the changes will actually double your taxes. Because of the way we have structured our finances, I’m pretty sure it won’t have much effect on us. I’m not following the details in any, erm, detail, but it surprises me that anyone’s taxes would double.

    5. invisible finger

      So you want your blue state to get bluer?

  29. The Elite Elite

    Sargon has found the utopia of anarcho-communism. And it’s a paradise. Oh, it’s also within California, of course.

    1. They keep telling themselves they’re free, when really they’re trapped, and welfare dependant.

      1. straffinrun

        What Bigger Slave than the One Who Thinks He’s Free?

  30. Count Potato

    “‘Wait… what? So because I’m a mom, I have to hide my body? Y’all know how babies are made right?’ she wrote.

    ‘All of a sudden I have kids & my sexuality is stripped from me, at a time when most moms desperately need to feel good about themselves?! Nah, I don’t think so.’”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5056279/Tess-Holliday-shares-provocative-pictures.html

    No, it’s because you’re fat.

    1. straffinrun

      It’s supposed to be Milf not Ralf.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Gluttony is not a good look.

    3. Posting John Pron when there’s no John to mock 🙁

    4. WTF

      You have a right to look however you want. You do not have a right to require others to find it attractive.

    5. WTF

      “Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle Tess Holliday! “

  31. libertarianjoe

    So I’ve wanted to get into hockey for a couple years now. Since Maryland doesn’t really have a team, and I refuse to root for DC or Philly, I decided (prior to the season) that I was going to be a Vegas Golden Knights fan.

    Now i’m no hockey expert, but I’d say 9-4-1 is pretty good for an expansion team, especially considering that we’re down to our 4th string goalie at this point. I honestly expected to be like 1-13-0 at this point. We’ll see where they end up at the end of the season, but pretty strong start for a team cobbled together from other teams’ cast-offs.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      The glory that was once hockey in Baltimore.

      Fun fact: their coach, Terry Reardon, was our neighbor back in their glory days of the ’60s.

      1. libertarianjoe

        That’s awesome haha, we should bring the Clippers back

    2. The expansion draft was NOT all cast-offs. Vegas took advantage of two things – the salary cap, to pick up talent other teams could not afford to keep…and the Vegas Flu- note how many visiting teams arrived in town at least 1-2 days before their game 🙂

      1. libertarianjoe

        I’ve heard the Vegas flu theory, but i’m not sure that fully explains their success. I mean these guys are all adults, and professional athletes, shouldn’t they know not to get black out drunk before any game, regardless of the city?

        1. No. I don’t think they do.

        2. The NHL (i.e. Patrick Kane) and NBA are …. susceptible to the lure of the nightlife.

          The Chicago Bulls always seem to do better when the visiting team has plenty of yaha! time before the game. This is less of a risk in Indianapolis or Oklahoma City.

          1. Chipwooder

            It’s never helped the Knicks.

          2. libertarianjoe

            Well, I guess i’ll take any advantage we can get!

        3. Tundra

          The veterans, yes. The youngsters, no way.

        4. GSL in E

          Eh, I dunno. Another way to look at it: who has a greater sense of their own invincibility than rich 20-something guys who play contact sports for a living?

      2. Chipwooder

        Vegas ended up with Oscar Lindberg, an excellent two way center, because Jeff Gorton was too fucking dimwitted to figure out a way to keep him. Pissed me right off. Lindberg was only eligible for the draft because he played in all of ONE game in 2014.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      If you really want to get into it, in addition to finding a pro team to follow, check out local major junior or semi-pro hockey. We have an OHL (Ontario Hockey League – feeder for NHL) team close by and they are fast, talented, and hungry. Very fun to watch.

      1. libertarianjoe

        I’ve looked into that, but as far as I can tell, we don’t have any hockey teams at all around here. I don’t even think there are college teams around

    4. Hyperion

      Wait… you live in MD? Now there are 4 of us! We’ll be taking over soon.

      1. libertarianjoe

        Haha yeah, I do.

        Now’s the time for that MD Libertarian Moment i keep hearing about

    5. Raston Bot

      i already bought my tix for the Knights/Caps game in February (IIRC). it’s a noonthirty game which strikes me as really odd. just siked to see the new franchise.

      my boy plays the game. 0600 practices will start with the new mites season. gonna be a fucking struggle.

      1. libertarianjoe

        I’m actually planning to go to that game with a buddy of mine. It works out really well for my schedule since it’s on a Sunday afternoon.

        I’ve never been to a Caps game, but I was considering getting the premium tickets in Beck’s Lounge with unlimited food and beer. You think it’s worth the extra cost?

        1. Raston Bot

          how much is the Beck’s Lounge and what’s the food like? unlimited food is a bad deal if it’s the typical chicken fingers and shitty pizza they sell on the main levels. i always grab food outside either at Chipotle or the Chophouse. any seat is great except 400s. don’t do 400-level. those seats suck so bad.

          1. libertarianjoe

            Oh well thanks, that basically answers my question, the Becks Lounge is on the 400 level. idk what the actual food or beer choices are, but the tickets are $135. So i’m thinking probably not worth it

          2. Raston Bot

            $135 for bad food, worse beer, and shitty seats.

            For a little more you could do Chophouse at 11AM. Gives you 90 minutes to eat some good food. Then $100-120 for a great seat in either 200- or 100-level.

            http://districtchophouse.com/#menu-section#Brunch%20Menu

          3. libertarianjoe

            Now that sounds like a much better idea to me. Thanks for the advice!

  32. Count Potato

    “Harvey Weinstein used ex-Mossad agents and an ‘army of spies’ to gather details about the personal lives and sex histories of dozens of actresses and journalists he feared would expose him”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5056745/Weinstein-used-army-spies-dirt-accusers.html

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Where’s Pirate Truther when you need him?

      1. YARRR! (((THEY))) always be watchin’ ye!

        1. Count Potato
  33. Spartan Dad

    This is the best breakdown I could find of the tuition aspects of the tax reform bill:
    https://www.consumerreports.org/paying-for-college/how-the-gop-tax-plan-could-make-it-harder-to-pay-for-college/

    Student loan interest deduction is whatever. These two though:

    Tuition discounts for college workers . Employees of nonprofit universities and their dependents who get tuition discounts from their schools will now have to count the discount as taxable income. Colleges say it’s an important employee benefit that helps them recruit workers. Tuition waivers that graduate students receive when they work as teaching assistants or researchers would also be taxed as income.

    Employer tuition and debt assistance . Currently, workers who participate in tuition assistance plans can exclude up to $5,250 in tuition from income taxes. Also being cut: a tax break for employers providing workers help with paying off student loans.

    These extend beyond taxing income or removing deductions. Even though they are designed to starve the higher education beast, they could set precedents. Once employer provided benefits begin being taxed, where does that end? I know there’s already a Cadillac plan tax in place for 2020 (I think) and there’s talk about taxing employer provided meals for companies that do that. Does the government next start taxing paid vacation and sick days as income? Employer 401K matching? The value of your parking spot at work?

    Then there’s the grad students who will pay income tax on the cost of tuition they get for free in exchange for being TAs or RAs. Is the next step to target stay at homes who will have to pay income tax on of the value of their services for laundry, cooking, housekeeping, and car service? This isn’t hyperbolic, the New York Times proposed and endorsed doing so not too long ago.

    Disclaimer- I just started getting tuition reimbursement this year. Damn it. I still feel my objections are based on principle though and apply to all employer provided benefits.

    1. I thought in-kind employee benefits were already taxable as income, but most people just didn’t bother to report them.

      1. A few years ago my company handed out gift cards and other unreported benefits. Now the gifts can’t exceed $10.

    2. Drake

      The stupid party really is too stupid to write a tax reform bill.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        It’s certainly not an ideal bill, but it is not the worst thing I have ever read. Compared to what we currently have, it is a vast improvement.

        I give the stupid party a B (grading on a curve).

        1. Spartan Dad

          I don’t know. From the best I can tell (and I’m certainly not a CPA), taxes will remain unchanged for most people. The GOP made a big deal about doubling the standard deduction, but completely neutered the benefit by quietly removing personal exemptions.

          I do give them big props for lowering the corporate tax rate, repealing the AMT, and repealing the estate tax. But that’s really about it and they should have presented it that way instead of an extensive reform.

          To get a B from me, they would have needed to drastically cut taxes across the board for everyone (individuals and businesses) while repealing all deductions that distort the tax code. An A- would be a very low flat tax and A+ would be repeal of income tax. This is a bunch of sausage making shit that’s beginning to resemble Obamacare in it’s behind the scenes complexity.

          1. Hyperion

            The way I look at it, as someone who hasn’t itemized in more than a decade, the doubling of the standard deduction will mean that even more people are not going to need to itemize. I’m not near to a 1% level income level though. Maybe top 15% and am not running a business so I think I benefit from this. Of course, I want to see everyone benefit. With the media twisting things so much and lying, unless someone actually reads the bill, I don’t know how they would know. I thought that they are going to cap business taxes at 20%? Is it really just the top bracket of non-business earnings who are not going to benefit without being able to itemize? It’s really hard to understand everyone’s individual situations, and I don’t pretend to, but I think I’m going to benefit from this just because of the standard deduction increase.

          2. RAHeinlein

            In high-, and even moderate-tax states, it’s likely that the top two brackets of non-business earners will receive little to no benefit. For the top bracket, likely a negative.

    3. Certified Public Asshat

      Also being cut: a tax break for employers providing workers help with paying off student loans.

      This does not even exist. There have been proposals, but there is no special break (other than including it as compensation to your employee, subject to payroll taxes, which eventually get deducted against income taxes).

      Does the government next start taxing paid vacation and sick days as income?

      They already do.

      1. Spartan Dad

        For the vacation and sick days, you are taxed on the income you receive for it. I’m talking about an additional tax on it, just for receiving PTO as a benefit. To pay the role of a Prog, I would ask why it’s fair some people get 5 weeks of paid leave while other people only get 1 week a year. We need a tax on exorbitant PTO.

        1. R C Dean

          I’m talking about an additional tax on it, just for receiving PTO as a benefit.

          I don’t see how they can tax you for PTO you haven’t taken, and then tax you again on the payment you receive when you actually take it. Does the bill actually do that?

          Because there’s a tsunami of bad info about this bill being spread by the usual DemOp suspects. I’d like to hear it from a reputable source, like a tax attorney.

          1. Spartan Dad

            No, that’s definitely not it in the bill and I’m sorry if I gave that impression. I meant that as an example for asking where does taxing employer provided benefits end. I wouldn’t put it past the government to say double the income tax rate for any income derived from PTO as an additional tax on the benefit of getting paid while not working.

            The government is increasingly assigning income value to benefits and then charging an “income” tax on those benefits, even though it’s clearly not income by the traditional definition. I think that has a potential to create a slippery slope where the income tax is changed to a labor tax as the progs desire (e.g., already are proposals to tax house-wives on the value of their labor).

            I would have liked to see this Tax Reform bill repeal a bunch of these taxes and make it a simple income tax with no deductions instead of keeping or expanding taxable areas.

          2. R C Dean

            I meant that as an example for asking where does taxing employer provided benefits end.

            Benefits paid in cash (which includes PTO) are pretty much taxed now. Benefits paid in kind are not, and I think there’s a case to be made that introduces market distortions. I don’t have a problem at all with a revenue-neutral reform that taxes in-kind benefits.

            In many areas, the law treats in-kind benefits as compensation. You have a valuation issue which is not insignificant for some in-kind benefits, but is pretty trivial for others. Now taxing housewives for their housework crosses a whole ‘nother line, which has to do with work that is not performed for an economic return of any kind, so I think you can draw that line.

          3. Spartan Dad

            I can’t disagree with this. I think what bothers me is that I’m seeing the steady expansion of taxable areas with no real corresponding reduction in the tax rate.

        2. Hyperion

          That sounds like just another variant of progressive tax scheme. Let’s punish success.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      Wasn’t the IRS trying to figure out a couple years ago how much to tax for personal use of employer provided cell phones?

    5. R C Dean

      Once employer provided benefits begin being taxed, where does that end?

      By treating in cash and in kind compensation differently, doesn’t the current tax code introduce market distortions? Wouldn’t removing the distortion by a good thing?

    6. Raston Bot

      Is there a threshold like there is for the mortgage interest deduction and the state income tax deduction?

  34. The Sleeper

    Take away the medal of freedom given to Warren Buffet and Ellen DeGeneres and give them to Willeford and Langendorff.

    1. straffinrun

      He earned that neck tatt.

      1. I love that the two guys who put their lives at risk to save strangers were a middle-aged plumber with a rifle and a lanky redneck (and I use the term with affection) with a neck tat.

        1. R C Dean

          Let’s hope they get an invite to the State of the Union.

        2. Future Buddy Cop Movie.

  35. straffinrun

    News Flash: ‘First Cyber Security Victim’ arrested

    We are reliably informed that at 5 am this morning, Martha O’Donovan of Magamba TV was picked up by the police and taken into their custody for ‘tweeting against the president’. In actual fact, Martha retweeted a ‘tweet against the president’ and amongst the 58 other retweets, she was picked out.

    Merkel or Mugabe?

  36. Count Potato

    https://medium.com/@jamesbridle/something-is-wrong-on-the-internet-c39c471271d2

    I hate articles that not only do not start out with the point, but never get to it.

    1. Brochettaward

      I would want my kids to have the same opportunities to explore and grow and express themselves as I did…And this belief broadens into attitudes about the role of the internet in public life as whole…Someone or something or some combination of people and things is using YouTube to systematically frighten, traumatise, and abuse children, automatically and at scale, and it forces me to question my own beliefs about the internet, at every level.

      The point – I don’t want to be the bad guy with my future hypothetical kids, so I’m just going to demand society does the dirty work for me.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Content theft and repurposing is worrisome in the same way mindlessly exposing your children to youtube on autoplay to be worrisome, in that I don’t know what the answer is and I’m glad I’m not affected by either. But that’s a far cry from saying “There is no solution,” or giving anticapitalist lip service as James does later in the essay.

        I’m sure there are copious playlists in the mommy blog world authored by volunteers willing to vet videos for safe content.

        1. Hyperion

          Well, to be sure, if you want your children to have the same opportunities as you had, then getting rid of capitalism is the only way. We need to get back to our commie roots that made us so great.

    2. Microaggressor

      The Internet is full of weird shit, the author just found out. And that’s a problem. Why?

      What concerns me is that this is just one aspect of a kind of infrastructural violence being done to all of us, all of the time, and we’re still struggling to find a way to even talk about it, to describe its mechanisms and its actions and its effects.

      I’m done.

    1. Why can’t they just send the migrants back again?

      1. Drake

        You would think not burning down your residence would be a good first test on the road to citizenship.

        1. “ISIS has been beaten – you will now be relocated….home.”

          1. R C Dean

            Yup. War’s over (enough) – refugees go home. We have your photo and fingerprints, so don’t try to come back.

            On, many of you weren’t from Syria after all? Sorry, that’s what’s on your application, so that’s where you go. The boat’s over there.

    2. Hyperion

      This is so they get their own apartments. They fully realize that Merkel will do whatever is necessary to keep them content, including removing German citizens from their own homes to make room for the ‘refugees’. Europe is committing suicide and they aren’t wasting any time.

      1. How the hell has Germany not gone “Fuck you Merkel” and thrown her out of the country?

        1. WTF

          Because they had the backbone beaten out of them in WWII.

    3. Microaggressor

      There’s a lesson here about Other People’s Property, that I’m sure won’t get any traction.

  37. Miss Bumbum contestants up the steaks, donning ‘beef-kinis’ in protest against sexual harassment ahead of pageant in Brazil

    Five contestants in this year’s Miss Bumbum competition posed in the bikinis and say they wanted to show solidarity with victims of sexual assault and harassment in the ongoing Harvey Weinstein scandal in Hollywood.

    The beauty pageant seeks to find the woman with Brazil’s best rear, with one entrant from each of the country’s 27 states taking part.

    But this year the five women took part in a special photo shoot donning nothing more than 50 kilos of prime beef steaks to make their mark.

    1. LJW

      Does that meat eligibility requirements for the swimsuit competition?

    2. Private Chipperbot

      This time I DO want to see how they make sausage.

    3. bacon-magic

      Mmmmmmm beefy.

  38. Count Potato

    “DNC’s Donna Brazile Dedicated Her Book to ‘Patriot’ Seth Rich, Whose Death Made Her Fear for Her Own Life”

    http://www.newsweek.com/donna-brazile-book-seth-rich-dnc-murder-conspiracy-702838

    TW: Newsweek, autoplay

    1. The Sleeper

      But the provocative points start even before the first chapter, as Brazile reportedly dedicated the book in part to Seth Rich, the DNC staffer whose murder launched a conspiracy theory.

      Unless she’s capitalizing on the conspiracy theory to sell her book (which she may very well be), shouldn’t this change from being a conspiracy theory to regular conspiracy?

      1. commodious spittoon

        She’s shilling to worm her way back into politics, now that the Clintons are pariahs.

      2. That depends on whether the most trusted names in media endorse it or not. Seth Rich assassinated? Clinton corruption? CNN, WaPo, et al have assured me that is fake news smear campaign. Russia hacked the election? Proven allegation, anyone who denies it is an alt-right Nazi sympathizer.

    2. This is the second article I’ve seen about Brazile referring to Rich, and I’m still not quite seeing an explicit statement from Brazile that she believes the DNC put a hit on Rich. Devil’s advocate, you could easily look at what she’s saying as reflecting fear of Trump supporters or Bernie supporters or just a general tension and paranoia. Now, I haven’t read the book, so maybe in context it’s more direct, but just based on what I’m seeing third hand it doesn’t seem like a smoking gun. No pun intended.

      1. Hyperion

        She just wants attention. That’s all.

        1. Yeah, Donna’s ship sailed when Clinton lost the election. I think a lot of the old Bill Clinton-era DNC folks are washed up now and probably looking to cash in any way they can.

  39. KibbledKristen

    So….there’s a 1/2-complete jigsaw puzzle in the break room at my soon-to-be-erstwhile office.

    Feel. Evil. Rising.

    1. DOOMco

      taking a few pieces?

      1. KibbledKristen

        Evil minds think alike. Just need to find a moment after the morning coffee rush.

        1. If you have another puzzle, sub in a few random pieces from that.

          They’ll be driven craizer than if some were just missing.

          1. KibbledKristen

            That’s even better! But I don’t have another puzzle 🙁

          2. Nephilium

            Go to a thrift store, spend $1. Now you have a puzzle.

          3. pan fried wylie

            I mean, presumably this office has a printer. Color? Find an empty tyvek box and an exacto and a glue stick.

        2. Wanting to get fired so soon? ; )

        3. AlexinCT

          Want to really get them? Add a few pieces from a different puzzle. That is what I did at my office after people got woke that I always stole a piece so i could finish it and started raiding my desk.

          1. AlexinCT

            DOH.. already been recommended.

    2. Tundra

      One piece only. It will drive them insane.

      1. DOOMco

        Muahahahaha

      2. KibbledKristen

        Hopefully it will be a fun piece, like the company logo (it’s a company-branded puzzle)

        1. pan fried wylie

          BARF

      3. straffinrun

        Echo Chamber!

      4. Hyperion

        Glue it to the ceiling right above the puzzle, see if anyone notices.

        1. pan fried wylie

          is the picture on the box to scale by chance? glue it in place.

    3. straffinrun

      Take one piece from the box.

    4. Hey, maybe take just one piece!

    5. The Sleeper

      Let’s change it up a bit.
      Replace one piece with an identical shaped piece from a different puzzle.

      1. The Sleeper

        If you have another puzzle, sub in a few random pieces from that.

        They’ll be driven craizer than if some were just missing.

        God dammit.

    6. mexican sharpshooter

      – East some asparagus.
      – Piss on several pieces.
      – Allow time to dry.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        ^^^. Now this guy thinks outside the box

  40. Count Potato

    Remember how Occupy Wall Street used a “progressive stack”?

    “Classrooms in elite colleges across the United States are performing what’s known as “progressive stacking,” an affirmative action-like system that privileges individuals based on their race, gender, and sexual orientation. White men are at the bottom of the stack.”

    dailycaller.com/2017/11/06/progressive-stacking-is-infiltrating-college-classrooms/

    1. Count Potato

      “The College Fix review found several instances in which scholars have engaged in the practice. Additionally, a sociology professor told Inside Higher Ed progressive stacking dates back at least a couple decades.”

      http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/38636/

      Huh.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m guessing this is not in the engineering classes.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I’m guessing engineering students are too busy contemplating the subject matter and not seething in an emotional stew.

    3. antisthenes

      Congress needs to get off its ass and cut off government funds to any university that engages in any explicit discrimination of any sort, including progressive stacking or affirmative action.

      1. Oh, ha ha ha you’re funny, you.

  41. Pope Jimbo

    When will people learn that you can’t make a cat love you. You just need to find a way to coexist.

    This is one of the few situations that make me feel sorry for the popo. Having to show up at domestic abuse situations between two lunatics can’t be fun.

    1. Yesterday I saw a bumper sticker: My Cat is a Democrat

      Yeah – cats can be parasites: food and body heat, but I would never call my selfish she-beast of a cat progressive in outlook.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Toxoplasmosis would explain a lot of the past year.

        1. The Sleeper

          Symptoms may include irrational behavior leading to self-endangerment, such as protesting across a busy freeway.

  42. Q Continuum

    Q: Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells?
    A: Her boobs were too big for B shells.

    http://archive.is/LUjQZ

    #50 lays waste to all competitors.

    1. #51…#53

      I love the guy in #56, just gobbing at the hottie.

      1. dbleagle

        #33 looks to have a enough laps around the Sun to actually have something interesting to say. I can’t identify what strange sports related symbol she is wearing though.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          I believe that’s a symbol for a French Canadian hockey team.

    2. This Machine

      #9 aaaaaand….. #31.

      *scrolls down*

      and #50, good gugu mugou.

    3. #1, but I haven’t gone through the whole list. She’s a brunette with bangin’ mams and that ever-so-slight hint of whiskey tango vulnerability that is like catnip to me. If I ever leave my wife it’s gonna be to “rescue” some 20-something stripper at a truck stop with a middling IQ, fantastic knockers, and a sob story.

    4. Evan from Evansville

      19 wins though I suspect too much photoshop. Mmmmm. All my boxes.

      14 mixes the best of “super hot” and “doesn’t look fake or like too much work IRL.”

      48 is probably…something I could never handle.

      9 61 are the ones I’d like in real life. Yummers.

      DAMN YOU 32 FOR NO FACE! That could have fuckin Sen. Warren’s face on it and I’d snort glass for a go.

  43. Count Potato

    Joy Reid continues to be our nation’s greatest super genius.

    https://twitter.com/JackPosobiec/status/927709305985478656

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      I went to her Twitter. Then I read the comments.

      It’s where they live. They being them. You know….them.

  44. Rufus the Monocled

    From Reason:

    “The film executive hired private investigators, including ex-Mossad agents, to track actresses and journalists.”

    https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/harvey-weinsteins-army-of-spies

    Weinstein is one piece of nasty. Hope he gets his come-uppence.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      We hunt Nazi’s…. and irate actresses.

      1. Brochettaward

        Well, it’s one of the more obvious things for Jewish spies to be doing. (((They))) do own Hollywood.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      When Netflix dropped him like a hot potato, I figured there had to be more to the story.

    2. DOOMco

      haha

  45. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. Just when you thought that trans-folk couldn’t be more expensive, science wants to outfit them with an artificial womb so they can have babies.

    I can’t even begin to count the number of bad ideas that are in this plan.

    1. Can they be cyberbabies? Full-on androids? Because if I could father a replicant by banging a trap while on a bender in a foreign country, I wouldn’t rule it out. I mean, THAT would be a story!

      1. From the blather in the article it sounds like the proposal is to create an artificial gestation cyst by implanting a woman’s uterus, then introducing the fertilized egg, and hoping the male body’s improper hormonal responses don’t kill the child before they cut it out nine months later.

        1. At a certain point, you’d think someone would maybe point out that we’re taking our cultural game of pretend a little too far…

          1. Given that the man’s immune system will be trying to reject the uterus like any other foreign tissues implanted into a body, and the fact that all of the internal systems are not built to support the development of another life naturally, I can’t see how this sort of operations would end in anything but a horrific miscarriage.

          2. R C Dean

            That, or a horribly impaired child with lifetime care costs in the tens of millions, funded, not by the delusional moron who brought the kid into the world to play out some sick fantasy, but by you.

          3. Hyperion

            Look, there’s no amount of suffering too great to support the cause. No one really knows what the cause is. But it’s something like ‘pay attention to me! Why does no one pay attention to me! I’m the most specialist special snowflake of all!’.

  46. Michael

    Re: Homeless in Seattle article:

    Housing prices are soaring here thanks to the tech industry, but the boom comes with a consequence: A surge in homelessness marked by 400 unauthorized tent camps in parks, under bridges, on freeway medians and along busy sidewalks. The liberal city is trying to figure out what to do.

    Rising housing prices are not the cause of this, you fucking dipshits. Vagrants have long flocked to the Pacific Northwest for the tolerable year-round climate. The fact that there are now many more of them might also have something to do with there also being more wealth in the area which leads to more opportunities for panhandling and receiving various social services. It’s not as though tech nerds moved in and turned the established local residents into gibberish spewing street shitters overnight.

    1. GSL in E

      Having lived on the West Coast for a while, the rising cost of housing seems to have 2 main causes:
      1. A TON of people buying properties with cash, for investment purposes. Tech employees are a part of this, but anecdotally, there are huge numbers of buyers from Asia (China primarily) who want to get their money out of their home country, and buying US real estate seems to be a popular option.
      2. Intense hostility to building new housing to accommodate new residents (particularly a big problem in the Bay Area). And yes, there is more than a bit of hypocrisy in touting your compassion towards refugees and immigrants while advocating policy that says “fuck you if you want to move here”.

  47. Pope Jimbo

    Uuuuuufda…

    Now even Ms. Bumbum contestants are protesting Harvey Weinstein? When will this shit end?

    At least their protest is mature and thoughtful.

    1. Chipwooder

      As Izzy Mandelbaum said, “If you wanna live in a slaughterhouse, I’m gonna treat you like a piece of meat”

  48. Pope Jimbo

    Pie? Are you OK? And did you get the job?

    1. Brochettaward

      Pie’s girl is way too hot for him.

    2. Evan from Evansville

      Siiiiigh.

      “Mihai Danciu (pictured) went for a drink with his friends his a Romanian village and woke up in London with know idea of how he got there.”

      For fuck’s sake. Even for the Daily Fail.

      1. pan fried wylie

        ENGLISH MOTHERFU….oh, you do? Well, try harder, I dunno.

    3. Local media said that the man is expected to be helped to get back to Romania by authorities.

      Sure, they’ll send Romanian Drunks home, but not terrorists?

  49. Juvenile Bluster

    Ohio death row inmate wants firing squad as execution alternative

    The judge denied him.

    If we are going to allow the state to murder people, a firing squad would be much more humane with less chance of causing suffering than lethal injection (so long as you have people who can shoot, as opposed to police officers spraying bullets everywhere). But that’d be dirty, and we wouldn’t want that, would we? We like to pretend.

    1. DOOMco

      I still don’t know why we can’t use helium and a bag.

    2. The Elite Elite

      But what if this is the firing squad? Imagine the wasted money from all those missed shots?

        1. Nephilium

          Maybe the prisoner just needs to wear a red shirt?

          1. Psycho Effer

            Might as well just have a wood-chipper. The execution options: head first or feet first.

    3. KibbledKristen

      The Godfather method would probably work a treat.

    1. Vhyrus

      Well that was a dick move.

  50. Pope Jimbo

    This is why you plebes shouldn’t have guns.

    Police say startled shoppers at the Colorado Walmart where a shooter opened fire and killed three stalled the search process after they drew their own handguns in defense.

    The shoppers’ immediate response to the violent event ‘absolutely slowed’ investigation as it left authorities scanning through surveillance tapes in pursuit of the single armed attacker.

    A police spokesperson confirmed after the building had been deemed ‘safe enough’ to enter, officials quickly began examining footage from inside the supermarket, according to The Denver Post.

    Holy fuck that is cheeky. Complain that people are hindering your job because they had guns to protect themselves AFTER you admit you waited outside until you were sure that it was safe to go in.

    1. DOOMco

      I hope there’d be cops in the world who dgaf about those kind of orders and just go be a good guy.
      Waiting outside is what the newspeople do. you’re supposed to go in and save people.

      1. Spartan Dad

        I think it might depend on the department. I have good friend who’s a cop and he told me their department SOP is to engage active shooters immediately. They are supposed to advance in a diamond formation without regard for cover in an attempt to remove the threat as quickly as possible, even if it takes officer deaths to do so.

        I have a feeling that’s a very rare SOP though across the country.

        1. DOOMco

          That’s pretty much what I want out of emergency response and police, though.

        2. spqr2008

          That was the policy in my hometown and the town next to it. It was put into being at the result of one councilman’s career (he was a former cop, defied the union, and lost his donor and voter base), and the mayor, who was retiring the next year. That way, the kids at the Junior High and High school could be sure that they’d be coming into the schools ASAP. And my high school would’ve been a Great Goldeneye level, lots of open spaces, and a terror in a shooting situation, lots of exits, but that wide open space would screw a lot of people.

        3. R C Dean

          I’m sure that’s the policy on paper. I wonder what the practice on the ground would actually be.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            Use cover. Shoot and scoot. Overwhelm the target with force from both sides. At least that’s what I would do.

          2. R C Dean

            NEEDZ MOAR GRENADES!

    2. Brochettaward

      Leftists are quietly seething on both sides of the Atlantic over the fact that the Texas shooter was taken out by yokels with their own guns while the cops were no where to be found. They didn’t even have time to do their usual set up a perimeter and wait routine. It makes the Top Men look bad and reinforces the arguments about good guys with guns that the intelligent compassionate people scoff at. It was a case of self-defense (really, almost vigilantism) via gun that they couldn’t ignore or openly condemn.

    3. R C Dean

      How fucking hard is it track someone on surveillance footage? I mean were they ignoring what the person was wearing, their race, height, hair color, every single thing except the gun?

    4. thepasswordispassword

      That’s funny because the day of they said the exact opposite.

  51. Akira

    OT: I left my crock pot on high overnight to make some chicken broth. I wake up today, and it was making some weird intermittent popping noise. It almost sounded like electrical arcing, but I couldn’t see sparks anywhere. I turned it off, unplugged it, and inspected the whole thing, and I couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I plugged it back in and turned it back on, and there’s no more of the popping sound, but a few minutes later, I was in the other room and there was a bang sound, like a rock hitting a metal trash can.

    Anyone know what the issue might be with this thing?

    1. Check between the earthware and the heating element. Sounds like something slopped in there and is boiling. The bang would have been the pot dropping back into place after a release of pent up pressure.

      1. Akira

        That was my first thought, but I lifted the pot up and didn’t see anything in there. The liquid was about two inches from the top of the pot, and no liquid had build up enough to drip down.

        1. Then Rufus and Scruffy are right, you’ve got Ghosts.

      2. Endless Mike

        You could have a hairline crack in the pot – the liquid is leaking through, boiling off / making noise, and when you lift it to look, nothing.

        1. He’d probably notice some signs of that, stains or scorched remains.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Ghosts.

      Hello.

    3. Ken Shultz

      Never plug it in and go to sleep or leave the house.

      Throw it in the trash can.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      You’re in a Japanese horror flick.

    5. I would suggest leaving it on, going to work, and then collect that sweet insurance payout. /not really

    6. Old Man With Candy

      Anyone know what the issue might be with this thing?

      It’s broken.

    7. MikeS

      Crock Pots are not expensive. Throw it out and buy a new one

      1. Brochettaward

        You never tasted the stew it made. IT HAS SENTIMENTAL VALUE.

  52. Ken Shultz

    “The laws in place to keep assholes like the Texas church shooter from getting a gun were in place. But the Air Force shit the bed. There is no other explanation. But the lefties are still climbing on piles of bodies saying we need to close “loopholes”

    The Democrats couldn’t organize so much a multicultural drum circle without a Democrat in the White House to tell them what to do.

    Without a Democrat in the White House, they’re a cult of personality without a personality. No one to rally them. No one to tell them when to shut up.

    And to win more support in Midwestern swing states, they probably need to shut up about guns. At this point in the election cycle that brought Barack Obama to power, he was running around telling everybody that “Marriage is between a man and a woman”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5L2LMJcRIg

  53. The Late P Brooks

    TDS on stilts

    In the terror-struck and vertiginous days after Donald Trump’s election a year ago, as I tried to make sense of America’s new reality, I called people who lived, or had lived, under authoritarianism to ask what to expect. I wasn’t looking for concrete predictions — one of the disorienting things about that moment was that no one, no matter how learned, had any idea what was happening — but for insights into how the texture of life changes when an autocratic demagogue is in charge.

    ———

    How can America ever return from this level of systematic derangement and corruption? I wish there was someone I could ask, but we know more about how countries slide into autocracy than how they might climb out of it. It’s been a year, and sometimes I’m still poleaxed by grief at the destruction of our civic inheritance.

    In moments of optimism I think that this is just a hideous interregnum, and that in a brighter future we’ll watch prestige dramas about the time we almost lost America while members of the current regime grow old in prison. But in my head I hear the song that closed out Trump rallies like a satanic taunt or an epitaph for democracy: “You can’t always get what you want.”

    We’re doomed. DOOOOOOOMED, I say. Authoritarianism is upon us. Soon there will be no room left in the camps.

    1. Brochettaward

      This shit makes the worst Infowars articles seem calm and reasonable.

    2. Dear Times Reporter – Excluding the personal lack of mental stability, your tale sounds more like a description of the Obama era.

      Either way, we cannot accept this submission of fan fiction, as it is too unhinged even for our lax standards.

    3. Chipwooder

      I called people who lived, or had lived, under authoritarianism to ask what to expect

      Eight years of Mr. Pen and Phone wasn’t enough experience?

      1. It’s different when you’re wearing the jackboots.

    4. It’s like reading news articles from an alternate universe. Jesus H. Christ these people need Ativan.

    5. The way countries have stopped themselves from sliding into authoritarianism was by having a massive swamp that was self-perpetuating and actively worked against the evil guy ostensibly in control, right?

    6. Akira

      the time we almost lost America while members of the current regime grow old in prison

      On what charges, exactly?

      1. Being counterrevolutionaries, kulaks, wreckers and horders.

      2. Hyperion

        Being Republicans.

  54. MikeS

    ACLU defends article linking Taylor Swift to white supremacists

    “Taylor’s lyrics in ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ seem to play to the same subtle, quiet white support of a racial hierarchy. Many on the alt-right see the song as part of a ‘re-awakening,’ in line with Trump’s rise,” the article reads. “At one point in the accompanying music video, Taylor lords over an army of models from a podium, akin to what Hitler had in Nazis Germany. The similarities are uncanny and unsettling.”

    …and the left has become unhinged.

    1. You know who else was linked to white supremacists…

      1. The Clinton Foundation?

      2. Chipwooder

        The dress code at Wimbledon?

      3. Old Man With Candy

        Guys on the chain gang?

      4. MikeS

        Clayton Bigsby?

        1. DOOMco

          Can’t understand what you’re saying!

      5. mexican sharpshooter

        Taylor Swift?

      6. Akira

        Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV)?

      7. Microaggressor

        Libertarians?

      8. Count Potato

        Cows?

      1. You know, I could see her cast as a sort of ruthless ice queen dictator type, possibly an evil sorceress. Kind of hot, but also not quite human.

    2. commodious spittoon

      It’s incredible that all of these subtle cues and dogwhistles are only ever recognizable to lunatic lefties. Almost as if they’re making it all up.

      1. Akira

        Leftists meticulously pick through every single word spoken by their opponents in an effort to find something, anything that they can call out as racist, even if it requires inventing some wackadoo bullshit conspiracy theory about secret code words.

        But when Biden says that Obama is “the first clean, articulate, bright African-American guy“, they dismiss everything as paranoid people reading too much into an innocent, well-intentioned statement.

        Leftists say shit all the time that would be, by their own standards, incredibly racist. That’s why they maintain a double standard.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Mistaking “fisking” for “fisting” is probably my favorite example. There’s no debating any crypto-racist intent behind it, and it’s so revealing of the ignorance and perversion of the dummies insisting on it.

          1. John Titor

            ‘Snowflake’ is also a good one. Apparently everyone who uses the term is very familiar with crypto-Nazi secret languages and 1800s obscure state racial politics.

            …Or they could have watched Fight Club.

        2. KibbledKristen

          I think it all started with the dude from the DC Mayor’s office using the word “niggardly”. People with poor vocabulary immediately screeched “rayciss!!”

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      Meh. Article’s terrible, but the headline is silly. Article is definitely 1st amendment protected speech, despite its horribleness.

      1. Gilmore

        ^^

        you’re free to say nasty things about public figures. the ACLU should defend that.

        if someone more prominent had published the piece (say, WaPo) id be more impressed.

    4. R C Dean

      You know who else lorded over an army of models?

      Not me, dammit.

      1. Every 40k player?

      2. Number.6

        The late Colonel Gaddafi?

  55. KibbledKristen

    This little millennial kid that’s going to take over administer the shared inbox for our web site is gonna have a tough time. He can’t identify spam from a legit contact, and he’s already spent about 30 minutes going through the inbox (should be a 5 minute task in the morning). He’s asking things like “there’s an email here offering a list of attendees from X Trade Show – is that spam?”.

    Good luck, motherfuckers!

    1. If the address is public, I assume it’s all spam unless proven otherwise.

    2. My last day at my previous job, there was a company picnic in a nearby field. I left during that time without saying goodbye to anyone. #burnthosebridges

      1. Chipwooder

        After spiking the brownies with Ex-Lax, right?

      2. This Machine

        “If you burn all your bridges, you never have to retreat.”

      3. mexican sharpshooter

        I told all six people that I believed were worth telling. There are over 3000 employees here. #burnthosebridges

    3. Akira

      He sounds like a real shitheel. It aggravates me that so many millennials act like that because some people consider ME to be part of that group, and I don’t want employers thinking I’m some kind of lazy man-child who doesn’t understand how real businesses work.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    I’m too lazy to link it, but David Brooks has his panties bunched so tightly the blood flow to his brain has been cut off. Apparently, the Rethuglitards have planted a ticking time bomb in that tax plan which will destroy non-profit organizations and private universities and lay waste to the thought leader pipeline, all so Kkkorporations and their moneygrubbing shareholders can be released from the social contract.

    1. Brochettaward

      File this under too good to be true.

    2. I’ve reached the point where “Non profit organization” is synonymous with “Money laundering begging operation for leftists” unless proven otherwise. You can have a true charity, but most nonprofits are not.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        SP used to be the COO for a non-profit. Her favorite saying was, “Non-profit does not mean non-money.”

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          It usually means “less accountability”

        2. Spartan Dad

          A very wise CFO for a non-profit once told me that the only difference between a for-profit and a non-profit is that one business model pays taxes.

    3. invisible finger

      I just remind people that Sears is non-profit.

    1. Brochettaward

      It seems cheaper and easier to just offer top-level Canadians citizenship. I mean, no one is going to stay in that second-world open air igloo if they can come to America.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    “At one point in the accompanying music video, Taylor lords over an army of models from a podium, akin to what Hitler had in Nazis Germany. The similarities are uncanny and unsettling.”

    Or, perhaps, “…akin to what Fidel Castro had in Communist Cuba…”?

    Naaah, that can’t be right. Fidel is a hero; the savior of the Working Man.

    1. Oh, come on! You can’t just jump directly to Hitler, you have to subtly imply it, like an anvil to the head.

      Ah well, the game must go on. You know who else lorded over an army from a podium?

      1. compgrokker

        Charlie Chaplin?

    2. WTF

      Or akin to what Barack Obama had in 2008 with his Greek Columns??

  58. The Late P Brooks

    I’ve reached the point where “Non profit organization” is synonymous with “Money laundering begging operation for leftists” unless proven otherwise.

    Exactly. They’re run by a bunch of carnival hucksters and confidence men, only with better tailors.

    1. But what about the Carny Code?

    2. Brochettaward

      I know what you have against NGO’s, but what do you have against threading?

    3. RAHeinlein

      I would like to see Koskinen and Lerner, along with others in the previous administration, strung-up for using the IRS as a political tool. That said, the number of legitimate non-profits needs to decrease to about 0.1% of current levels. I’d like to see Bernie go after all the tax-avoidance schemes (left and right) with so-called Foundations.

    4. R C Dean

      Now, now, fellas. My current and last employer were non-profits, and they did good work.

      Non-profits and for-profits are both run by boards. Shareholder governance would be the only difference, and in large corporations, shareholder governance is a joke. It comes down to how good your board is. Tesla is a for-profit, and I would say it is a money laundering begging operation for leftists. My hospital is a non-profit, and it is absolutely not a money laundering, etc.

      1. invisible finger

        When has Tesla ever had a profit?

        1. R C Dean

          Still a for-profit company. My hospital is a non-profit even though we have net revenue every year.

          Its not whether you make or lose money. Its what you do with it. For-profits send it to owners. Non-profits reinvest in their mission. In theory, anyway.

  59. Hyperion

    “House panel approves tax plan after some changes are made.”

    I just have one question. Has anyone alive today ever seen Democrats complain that someone’s taxes might go up? Because I swear I have never seen that before.

    1. RAHeinlein

      Well, they moved pretty quickly to stop taxing health insurance as income and executing the Cadillac tax on their Union cronies. But, in-general – no. In fact, there have been several prominent Dems out asking for EIC expansion at the expense of the middle class (I’m talking about you Commie Tom Perez).

    2. Akira

      Well you see, the government is us, so taxation isn’t actually theft like you crazy libertarians think, it’s just us keeping more of our own money instead of letting greedy capitalists keep it all. It’s spelled out right there in the social contract!

      /what leftists actually believe

  60. mexican sharpshooter

    Dear Glibby,

    It was suggested to me that since I happened to quantified and tracked the financial cost of certain personnel’s lack of enthusiasm in correcting problems in the billing cycle, I should send my data to the IG. Why get the law involved? Apparently nobody around here cares until the IG shows up and tells them to. The information that’s out there is out there for anyone willing to look it up and I’ve pointed it out a few times. Its a lot of money for the typical GS employee but in the grand scheme of things, its a drop in the facility’s $1/2Billion annual budget.

    I was always told not to burn bridges but there is a lot of tinder in it’s structure, for some reason they left a few bottles of sterno in my desk and my Zippo remains idle in my pocket…

    1. MikeS

      Burn it down

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        *lights cigarette*
        Wait, this is a hospital, what am I doing?
        *lights cigar*

    2. RAHeinlein

      Are you at the VA (I thought I may have seen that in a post at one point)? If so, can you submit via this program?

      https://www.va.gov/COMMUNITYCARE/about_us/POI/poi_faq.asp

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Yes. That is for FWA from outside providers (unnecessary services/visits, self-referrals, etc) FWA from within the facility, those are reported to me….

  61. Gustave Lytton

    So government fucked up in vetting the TX killer– Obvious answer from gun grabbers will not be “oh, gov screwed up? ok, let’s scrap our gun grabber lite laws.”. No, it’ll be “Clearly government can’t do a proper job of background check so no one should be able to lawfully purchase or transfer a firearm”.

    They’re goal is to grab guns. Background checks, “loopholes”, etc are just the means to do so. Whatever they can get today to move the ratchet means less tomorrow they have to do.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      They aren’t even going with the “I respect the 2nd Amendment–BUT” lines anymore.

    2. Exactly. The ratchet turns one way. If the guns are illegal, we need more laws. If the guns were legal, the existing laws were inadequate, so we clearly need more laws. If there’s a chance a civilian could use a gun for bad things, the answer is to keep civilians from owning guns.

      1. Akira

        The background check system failed, therefore we need to expand the scope of people who must undergo background checks!

        /gun grabbers

        1. Background checks are inadequate because they’re only as good as the information reported to them. Besides, someone with no criminal record could just snap–it happens all the time! Powerful military-style assault weapons like the AR-15 have no place in civil life and are too dangerous to be allowed to be sold to the public. They belong in the hands of trained professionals, like soldiers and police, who can use them safely and responsibly. It’s time that Congress breaks the stranglehold of the NRA and enacts sensible legislation to keep these dangerous weapons off America’s streets.

          /98% of Democrats on national television in the next two weeks

  62. The Late P Brooks

    It was suggested to me that since I happened to quantified and tracked the financial cost of certain personnel’s lack of enthusiasm in correcting problems in the billing cycle, I should send my data to the IG.

    Before they changed the name, the Government Accounting Office might have expressed an interest. These days, I’m not so sure.

    The GAO was established as the General Accounting Office by the Budget and Accounting Act of 1921. The act required the head of the GAO to “investigate, at the seat of government or elsewhere, all matters relating to the receipt, disbursement, and application of public funds, and shall make to the President … and to Congress … reports [and] recommendations looking to greater economy or efficiency in public expenditures”

    via Wiki all-knowing

  63. Brochettaward

    So, while Sargon’s anarcho-commune video has been posted already, I really wanted to highlight the part where their leader shows the original founder’s van and talks about how awestruck everyone there was that he found the time to glue 20,000 pieces of crap to a van. Like, where did he find the time? In his humble wisdom, he would respond that he, too, had only 24 man hours in a day. Like a mere mortal. What a guy.

    1. If you’ve got nothing better to do than glue twenty thousand pieces of crap to a van, you’ve just about hit rock bottom.

      1. commodious spittoon

        With meth, you have all the time in the world.

        1. commodious spittoon

          (True Fact: mom, whom I’ve mentioned before is a total cheap-ass, once let her rental to a tweaker couple on the condition that, supplemental to rent, they tile the spare bathroom. “Oh yeah, we’ve got the tools,” they said. Days later, mom finds they’ve covered the floor, shower stall, window sill, and sink with patternless 1-inch tiles and flat marbles. Lesson learned.)

          1. commodious spittoon

            Fuck if anyone knows. They also tiled up an old telephone nook in another room. All of it ended up getting chipped out and replaced when my brother and I lived there, years later.

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            That sounds remarkably awesome.

          3. robc

            Any photos?

          4. commodious spittoon

            I’ll ask mom when I see her next, but I’m betting not. If I took any they were three phones ago.

  64. Gilmore

    Ok, this was so cute even i went “Awwwwwww”

    1. WTF

      Yeah, that is hilariously cute.

  65. Q Continuum

    RE: Air Force shitting the bed and not reporting this doosh so he would get added to the NICS naughty list.

    “The left wants the government to figure out a way for him not to get a gun even though the law was in place but they failed to properly implement it”

    Well clearly, the answer is to wave the magic prog utopia wand and make all guns on planet Earth disappear. Along with that, it’ll erase the memory of anyone who has the knowledge to build one. While we’re at it, we might as well make all the knives, slingshots and baseball bats disappear too. Then we’ll be sooper safe and utopia will be one step closer to fruition. For the children.

    PS: The utopia wand will also instantly cause all male white cis-hetero shitlords to burst into flames and die in agony. I mean, they’re not really people right? It’s like spraying for bugs in your house; if you think about it for too long, you might feel a tiny smidgen of guilt for exterminating so many lives, but their continued existence simply can’t be tolerated.

    1. Wouldn’t it just be easier to give the progs free helicopter rides?

    2. spqr2008

      And they’ve already invented Zyklon B to take care of those bugs.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      While we’re at it, we might as well make all the knives, slingshots and baseball bats disappear too.

      That’s okay, cause I still got my axe.

      1. peachy rex

        Now all you need is a geezer in a funny hat, a couple of dudes with scruffy beards, a pretty boy with pointed ears, and four midgets, and you’re in business.

        1. Scruffy beards abound around here. As do funny hats and geezers.

          What we don’t have are midgets.

          1. peachy rex

            Plenty of kids, though – close enough.

            I’m more worried about the lack of pretty boys.

  66. The Late P Brooks

    You know who else lorded over an army from a podium?

    Aimee Semple McPherson?

  67. KibbledKristen

    Dude on the news radio this morning called Terry McAuliffe a “larger than life character”.

    Dafuq? Milquetoast technocrat that only Beltway wonks had heard of before the previous election? Jeezus.

    1. Terry McAuliffe

      Who?

      /kidding

    2. Spartan Dad

      We’ll see who ends up replacing him. My rural VA polling place looked just as full this morning as did for the 2016 election. A surprising number of deplorables have turned out to vote for an off-year election.

      1. KibbledKristen

        Nice!

      2. Chipwooder

        FWIW my polling place in western Henrico, which was historically a GOP stronghold but has been drifting leftward, was fairly empty when I was there.

      3. KibbledKristen

        My voting district is so heavily D, that most times I don’t even vote. Sometimes the Repubs don’t even run a Congressional candidate in my district. Why waste money that can go to fighting an actual fight?

        1. robc

          Mine is the exact opposite. With Johnson getting the votes for ballot access for the next 4 years, the LP damn well better run a candidate at least in every district with only 1 major party running and preferably every race on the ballot.

    3. Idle Hands

      As long as Herring loses I’ll be happy.

  68. Raven Nation

    So, here’s some gossip on English managerial appointments: supposedly West Ham were turned down by Ancelotti, Mancini, & Benitez. And, rumors are that Allardyce will take over at Everton with Craig Shakespeare as his assistant.

    1. spqr2008

      So if Everton isn’t any good, at least they can put on a few plays?

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Allardyce is probably a good hire for Everton (though I kind of wanted to see him come over and manage the USMNT). I don’t want to see them relegated, because I want Liverpool to kick their asses twice a year.

      Why would Rafa had gone to West Ham? He’s in a better position with Newcastle right now.

    3. robc

      While that is probably the safer move to make, I would like to see Unsworth get the shot until January, and if they start playing better, the full time job. Unsworth/Ferguson would make Everton a lot of fun, IMO.

      1. robc

        My big reason to support them is that they seem to be willing to give some of the young, talented guys a first team run. That was my biggest problem with Koeman.

    4. GSL in E

      I mean, the problem is that you really need “caretaker”-type managers for situations like these. Because who wants to take over a team having a disastrous season: if they get relegated, you’ll probably be blamed (and you probably don’t want to manage in the Championship next season), and you’re taking over without the benefit of a summer transfer window to shape the squad to your liking. Anyone really good, who’s a serious option for a multi-year appointment, is probably telling these teams to wait till next summer.

    1. Gilmore

      hm. i used to see a couple of dudes do literally this exact same sort of thing in the union square subway station. like 8 years ago.

      e.g. one guy w/ bass drum and perc, other dude w/ baritone sax w/ effect on it, playing uptempo house-type grooves. literally the exact same thing.

      its possible they were the same guys. but somehow i doubt it. weird.

      1. KibbledKristen

        Same guys.

  69. Q Continuum

    So I found something even better than the “City of Brest Park” in Denver (yes I know it’s a real place in France, but c’mon!). In Monument, there is a “Dirty Woman Park”. Put those two parks together and you have my ideal Saturday night.

    1. MikeS

      Add Richard Bong State Rec. Area in Wisconsin for some extra fun.

    2. The Other Kevin

      I have seen the sign for the Bong Recreation Area. There is also a sign somewhere in Arizon, south of the Grand Canyon, that says “Kevin’s Way” with an arrow pointing one way, and “Highway” with an arrow pointing the other way. (So Kevin’s Way or the Highway). I always wish I’d taken a picture of that sign.

      1. AlmightyJB

        It’s right down the street from Beaverlick. No, really it is.

        1. robc

          In Louisville, Penile Road intersects New Cut Road.

      2. Chipwooder

        Hah! I remember an old girlfriend, who was from Kentucky, telling me how they had a Big Bone Lick and a Morehead.

    3. B.P.

      Denver also has a Babi Yar Park, commemorating the WW II pogrom in Kiev.

      Which isn’t funny at all.

      Nevermind.

  70. Chipwooder

    Egg McMuffin, True Conservative©

    Evan McMullin
    ‎@Evan_McMullin

    .@EdWGillespie was one of the good guys, but now he peddles fear and white nationalism. It’s better for VA and America that he not prevail.

    8:16 AM – Nov 7, 2017

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      McMuffin probably has the worst case of TDS among anyone that isn’t left of Stalin (aka the modern Democrat party)

    2. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Jesus. I thought that was a parody account at first.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      How can a guy with a brain pan that Goddamn large be that Goddamn stupid?

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Well they say we only use 1% of our brains…

      2. spqr2008

        Otherwise Intelligence Agency wouldn’t be an oxymoron.

  71. Brochettaward

    It’s official – the left and global elites officially prefer Assad to Trump.

    I didn’t bother to read the entire article, but my guess is how the international community could accept the signing from a government it argues is illegitimate.

    1. Vhyrus

      What part of literally hitler don’t you understand, the literally, or the hitler?

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’re legitimate when they do stuff the left likes.

    3. commodious spittoon

      This would be the same Assad that Clinton and Obumbles tried to oust by supplying anti-Assad insurgents with arms that ended up in the hands of ISIS? A policy which, if it didn’t open the floodgates of refugees into Europe, certainly didn’t help things. But sure, Assad is just besties now that he made a symbolic gesture in hopes of getting some climate fund kickback later.

      It’s like blotting a bit of blood from your shirt after your arm’s been cut off.

  72. Ken Shultz

    Google’s Waymo is officially the first autonomous car to be tested on city streets without any human driver.

    They’ve just put up a video of the car driving around Phoenix with no one in the front seat.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaOB-ErYq6Y&feature=youtu.be

    I bet the video goes to way over a million by the end of the first day.

    Launch in Phoenix as a taxi service forthcoming.

    Nothing wrong with people being free to do this.

    Tell me I can’t drive myself around anymore, and there’s gonna be a problem.

    1. robc

      Nothing wrong with people being free to do this.

      Tell me I can’t drive myself around anymore, and there’s gonna be a problem.

      Exactly. I don’t know why John doesn’t understand this. He opposed the first because of his fear of the second.

      1. Ken Shultz

        It’s a legitimate concern.

        Any concern the tech people have for our rights is incidental to some other goal. If our rights get in their way, they’ll find a way around or through them.

        We need to watch out for ourselves on this–and everything else.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I’d like to think this is solvable by insurance differentials. Maybe you’ll pay more for liability than driverless car owners, but if rates of accidents go down for everyone, you might end up saving money anyway.

          1. Ken Shultz

            See my comment below.

          2. commodious spittoon

            My brother picked up a DUI four years ago. He’ll probably be stuck for with higher premiums for awhile longer, maybe forever, I have no idea. But he’s not barred from driving, despite having made a manifestly disqualifying decision. Because we’d rather let actuaries factor the implications into their products than criminalize driving for such people.

      2. The question is the uncertainty of the regulatory landscape – and the potential pitfalls therein. If you trust that after permitting automation, it will not be made mandatory in the name of ‘safety’, one view comes naturally. If you think it will be turn against you, the other pops up.

        I’m not precient enough to say what will happen. I hate driving, but I trust computers less.

        1. Ken Shultz

          I think it’s safe to assume that when people’s freedom is perceived as a safety threat, it’s bad for freedom.

          There was no gun control before there were guns, but wasn’t the push for gun control inevitable?

          People driving themselves around is an even more precarious freedom than gun ownership because the number of people who put the time and energy in to acquire driving skills will likely diminish over time, one those skills becomes unnecessary. As long as people need to protect themselves from violent criminals, on the other hand, there will be a demand for guns.

          If kids stop learning to drive ten years from now, the number of people who care about the freedom to drive themselves around will diminish.

          I don’t know what kind of rights people on horseback have on public roads, but I never see any of them out there on the street.

          I want to learn how to fly a Piper Pup, so I can go land it in the wilderness and do short take offs. How long will they suffer individuals flying themselves around? I hope these freedoms will last during the course of my lifetime, but the days of a guy like me breaking all the laws with a hot rod or a motorcycle, never getting into an accident, and enjoying the fuck out of it are probably numbered.

          I get on my sport bike and ride the California rural highways that twist and zigzag through the Sierras and beyond every summer, and once I’m five miles out of the city, it’s like there are no traffic laws–and hardly any traffic. It can go for thousands of miles that way with only intermittent interruptions.

          Please don’t take my sunshine away.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Please don’t take my sunshine away.

            What is democracy but uninformed public opinion stamping on your sunshine, forever?

          2. spqr2008

            But it’s ever so much fun taking your joy away! So why wouldn’t they?

          3. robc

            I don’t know what kind of rights people on horseback have on public roads, but I never see any of them out there on the street.

            I know plenty of people who own and ride horses, but not for transportation.

            On the other hand, it may mean that driving become primarily an off-road activity, like horse riding.

            On the gripping hand, I see plenty of bicycles on the road.

          4. Ken Shultz

            I can already ride off road.

            That right doesn’t need to be protected.

          5. Ken Shultz

            . . . at least not from the threat of autonomous cars.

    2. Akira

      It’ll be a long time before I ever consider owning a self-driving car. It was only a few years ago that the first death occurred when the car failed to distinguish between the overcast sky and the grey side of a semi truck, and the car slammed right into the truck and killed the human occupant. There are TONS of situations like that that occur on the road every day, and I just don’t believe that they’ll have them all ironed out in fewer than 10 years.

      I would also never own a self-driving car unless it had some kind of kill-switch that would immediately turn it back into a human-driven car. The technology we use glitches out every single day – smartphones, computers, self-checkouts, etc. – yet the technophiles in my life think I’m silly and paranoid for not wanting to get in a vehicle that is completely controlled by a computer with no way to override it in the event that it’s not doing what I want it to do.

    1. Brochettaward

      Are you saying it’s…choreographed?

      10. Hip-hop artist Snoop Dogg, on Flair’s flashy image: “As a kid growing up and watching Ric Flair, he was very inspirational to myself and a lot of other hip-hop artists, because he represented what we wanted to be. We wanted to be Ric Flair. We wanted to be flamboyant and, you know, the kiss-stealin’, wheelin’ and dealin’. We wanted to be all of that. He was a part of our culture and our life. That’s why we love him and we cherish him, and we’ve always held him high in the black community – because Ric is one of us.”

    2. Q Continuum

      By implausible I mean his claim to have fucked 10,000 women. The guy is 68, if we assume he lost his virginity at age 14 that’s having sex with ~4 different women per week from then to present. Granted the guy was likely surrounded by groupies all the time and had lots of money, but that number still seems unlikely to me. Though not as unlikely as Wilt Chamberlain’s claim of 20,000; I think that was just straight logistically impossible.

      1. It may just be “I lost track” combined with the habits of the public persona.

      2. Rasilio

        Well he clearly had the money to make it plausible, anytime he couldn’t find a groupie he could find a professional.

        It also probably depends on how you define “sex” If he has 3 groupies at the same time he’d probably count that as sex with 3 women even if he didn’t actually penetrate 2 of them.

    3. Vhyrus

      4. On his obsession with women (he has four ex-wives): “Let me tell you something, if you’re wrestling and you’re in Hutchinson, Kansas, and you’re gonna spend the night there, I’m gonna find something to do. I’m not going through that night by myself.”

      5. After guess-timating the number of women he’s been with at “10,000, maybe,” he says of monogamy: “I probably took it real serious for about a day. … I mean, I tried, but it just – I was miserable.”

      I chose the wrong career.

      1. bacon-magic

        Wooooooooo! *Ric Flair style

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Once again my diabolical plan was thwarted by bacon.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Bacon-free dieting is indeed a diabolical plan.

          2. Akira

            Back in 2009 when I started this whole “healthy” thing, I largely gave up bacon, although I continued eating a lot of ham. Now, every time I eat bacon, my stomach feels like it’s about to burst. I guess I’ve lost the ability to digest that much fat at one time.

            I can do Canadian bacon, however.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        WOO!

  73. DOOMco

    Dad’s flight was delayed. I’ve now unpacked some things like this computer.

  74. KibbledKristen

    I feel filthy after voting, as usual. I had to write myself in for delegate, as the only choice was a D (bag)

    1. Raston Bot

      it’s best to keep the derp confined to one gerrymandered geographical area.

  75. KibbledKristen

    Final United 747, ever, is about to take off: SFO > HNL