Two and a half years after coming home from Afghanistan (and 4 months later, getting sent to New Orleans after Katrina) I was called back up, in 2007, to go to Iraq. This was displeasing. I had anticipated returning to Afghanistan in 2009. This was early, and I knew some Dari and had a good understanding of how Afghanistan worked (or didn’t). I didn’t know Arabic, and I had just started working for my Swiss Overseers a few months earlier.
But, I made the best of it I could. I crammed Arabic for a couple of months, and learned as much as I could ahead of time. One small advantage I had was that a decent amount of my work for my B.A. and M.A. was in Middle Eastern History. So I had some idea of the big doo-doo pile I was about to step into as an “adviser” to the Iraqi army. A bit of extra training and I got dumped off with the Iraqi Army 10th Division.
Oh boy. This was going to be work, but at least it was only moderately dangerous in their Area of Operations (not counting the 3 KIA we had the first week I was there). That lasted 3 weeks. The Iraqis had gotten sick of not controlling the second largest city in their country, and decided to do something about it. It was pretty much an Iraqi show, but the US decided it would at least lend them a bit of air support, some Special Forces to advise their Iraqi counterparts…and me.
I was taken from the 10th Division, and sent to go “help” the Iraqi Army 14th Division. They needed help. They were a relatively new unit, and had just finished initial training and were not fully equipped yet. But the knucklehead in charge, Iraqi 3 star General Mohan, launched them into the the fray immediately. One brigade saw a lot of its members walk away, since they were from Basrah itself, to go home and take care of business there. Fortunately, the Iraqi 1st Division (some serious killers) and a brigade of National Police (similar to European Gendarmes) as well a tank unit had been sent down too.
The other forces in the area were British, as this was their area…on the map. They had pretty much given up trying, had handed over “military control” to the Iraqis and were huddled in in their base at the airport. However, they did have a team of advisers with the 14th Division. So, I jumped out to join them and “advise”.
In the meantime, the Iraqis had gotten serious. They kicked Mohan upstairs to the “Basrah Operations Command”and put a general in charge of the 14th who had been to both the US and Australian Staff Colleges. He was a good leader, who was angry about how his troops had been handled, and their equipment and support. The Prime Minister and the Interior Minister showed up and suddenly red tape vanished – units could get fuel, ammo, whatever they were short. They even brought some more police with them.
All I had to worry about was the $&%#ing Jaish al-Mahdi’s version of Davey Crockett blowing me up with a 107mm rocket. He got really close. But he still missed, in the end (I think one night after the nearest miss, someone asked where the Hell was that large bell was that had just rung…I explained that it was no bell, just my sphincter slamming shut so hard it sounded like one). The Iraqis kicked the Jaish al-Mahdi’s ass, and their Iranians handlers too. When the first three prisoners were brought in, I asked why I couldn’t understand anything they said. The Iraqi soldiers looked at me and said “They are speaking Farsi, they are Persians” (The Iraqis always called them ‘Persians’, never Iranians). Whoopsie. Oh, and up yours, IRGC!
I was really, really tired, after going through a lot of 16 hour days – but the end of this phase was in sight. So, a Brit officer and I huddled up with the staff of the 14th DIV and asked what was next. The Iraqis said they were going to chase the baddies out of the last part of town they held – and it was close to the only available bridge across the Euphrates. I was as pleased as Zardoz directing a brutal hunt.
We set up a plan where the Iraqis would drop a company by helicopter on the far side of the river, and set up strong points at both ends of the bridge across the river. I told the 14th DIV CoS (Chief of Staff ) that they could trap every one of the bad guys, and make them surrender, or be killed. He agreed it would work, and I shuffled off to sleep.
The next morning I went to the DIV HQ to see how things were going. The staff looked pleased, and the Brigadier I had talked with smiled. I asked him how things were going and he said “Good, they are all running away!” I was a bit bemused. As we had blocked the bridge, where were they running? “Oh, we let them go. They are running to the Persian side.” I about has a stroke on the spot. Did we not plan to BLOCK them from getting away?! What was the Division doing, letting them get away to Iran?!
While I was asking this, apparently I had gotten a bit … excited. I realized that I had backed the Iraqi General almost literally into a corner of his office. He had his hands up a bit and was saying “They are finished, it is no problem!” And I was urging him to kill every one of them because they would be back, causing trouble. I was trying to perpetuate a junior version of the Marianas Turkey Shoot.
The Iraqis took the word of Americans quite seriously. We had booted their asses, hard, a couple of times in the past 15 years, and they respected our opinions. Here I was urging slaughter of the fleeing enemy…and the Iraqi CoS said “no”. I calmed down, pretty quick once I realized what I was doing. I told the general “it is your country, I hope you do not have to deal with them later.” I saluted, and I left.
I often wonder if I had badgered him into calling the strong points and saying “light ’em up”…It would have been triple digit KIAs at the least – and despite the guys running away, we had killed a few dozen. It bothered me for years. It also took me years to tell anyone. I finally told my most trusted buddy, an NCO who I had previously been with in Afghanistan (after a few whiskies, I spilled it out – oh, and you should have heard what he ended up telling me!) and my pastor at church. Now, I can reflect back on this and only wince a bit.
I think it says something sort of good about the US Army that I managed to reel it in, before pushing it too far. And for that, I will toast Brigadier Baseem today, and his backbone…and that I did manage to rein it in, in the end.
Happy Veteran’s Day, Glibs. I am off to the local tap room for a couple of strong ones.
Comments
69 responses to “The Bridges of Basrah”
An interesting story, thank you for sharing.
Enjoy your Veteran’s Day drinks!
I salute you for your service.
I salute you for paying your taxes.
This tends to be my response as well.
I have always been very interested about US advisors and their interactions with the Iraqi army and how the Iraqis felt about our presence and teaming up with them after the US has fought two wars against them so recently. Thank you for sharing. Have you ever thought about writing a book about your experiences?
You ain’t the first to say that….maybe some day.
Zardoz and STEVE SMITH’s Excellent Adventures in Asia
STEVE SMITH RAPE ALL OF ANBAR PROVINCE.
Interesting. The sign in the last pic says “Camp Wisaam the Martyr”. They name their bases after their dead too.
I guess the Iraqi commander thought it was enough to expel them. Maybe he was worried that if they were all killed, it would escalate things.
Sun Tzu said: When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard.
Yeah, BG Wessim got blowed up real good. He lived, and then died of MRSA…the Brits blamed the Iraqis, the Iraqis blamed the Brits. I just shook my damned head.
“Sun Tzu said: When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard.” Gen. Patton disagreed. U.S. never should have let the Germans escape from the Falaize pocket in France. Probably delayed the end of WWII in Europe by several months and let the commies move farther west.
Possible if we had closed the gap the Red Army wouldn’t have made it to Berlin, if not Germany.
Possibly, but Churchill & Roosevelt had pretty much decided to give the Soviets a chunk of German territory.
Correction – FDR decided that because he believed he could charm Stalin. Churchill had become the junior partner even though he had a better idea of what was coming. Frankly, of the Big 3, Stalin was by far the most competent wartime leader – probably because he just really loved killing people.
True, although Churchill was still deceived as late as the Yalta Conference. On promises from Stalin regarding Poland:
“Because of Stalin’s strong promises and admission of guilt over Poland, Churchill believed that he would keep his word regarding Poland, remarking “Poor Neville Chamberlain believed he could trust Hitler. He was wrong. But I don’t think I am wrong about Stalin.”[14]” (Wikipedia so take it for what it’s worth).
On delays: one I didn’t know about until recently was Hurtgen Forest. From what I’ve seen and read it seems like a gigantic cluster fuck which cost a lot of lives and time for no real purpose.
Standard disclaimer: hindsight is always 20/20.
Wow. Thanks for the article! Really puts perspective on me complaining about my cube-farm working conditions.
Do you think the area will ever get to a “normal”, productive state or will it always be screwed?
Actually, they can. Once Iran chills out.
Thanks for sharing your experiences over there Swiss.
I kind of feel dirty about posting something off topic in this thread but here it is:
“In our own world, there are two prominent concerns when it comes to terrorism: Islamic extremism and white nationalism.” (Really white nationalism is up there with Islamic extremism when it comes to terrorism)
“While the First Order possesses elements of ISIS, North Korea, and Iran, the best way to understand them is to look at right-wing nationalist movements in the west. Their slogan might as well be Make the Galaxy Great Again, which is only to say that after the Empire fell to a rebellion there would obviously be large swaths of people who lost status, privilege, and power in the new order. General Hux, the First Order commander in The Force Awakens, for example, was just a child when the Empire fell. His father was powerful and he was going to inherit that one day. Then, the Empire was toppled and his family suddenly had only exile and disgrace. Just like the alt-right is a confluence of troubled individuals with grievances ranging from economic anxiety to blatant racial bigotry, the First Order is held together by Imperial descendants and young people indoctrinated into a reimagined history where the Empire wasn’t monstrous, but something to be envied.”
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/kylo-ren-from-star-wars-is-more-politically-relevant-than-you-think/article/2640402
Honestly with how politically shallow and repetitive Star Wars Episode VII was I don’t think there is anything deep about that movie. It is the definition of a flat popcorn flick. And I am a Star Wars fan. Rogue One was better, with the rebel dude killing an innocent person to protect rebellion secrets. That is how a real rebellion works its not simplistic good vs. bad.
Star Wars is totes politically relevant, and the fact that 99.99% of Americans can’t explain why we’re still in Afghanistan is like, not
What’s a Nubian, Gilmore?
SHUT THE FUCK UP
W.T.F., over.
Say again your last.
Of course that article also completely ignores the establishment still LARPing that they’re the ‘Rebellion/Resistance’, which isn’t reflective of some fundamental flaws and issues at all.
The establishment wants to pretend that it’s the spunky virtuous Rebellion, resisting the evil that is Tr-Palpatine’s Empire. But in fact it is the Old Republic – which wouldn’t have fallen so very easily if hadn’t had some pretty serious problems. (Shall we start with the army of slaves?)
You had a long an interesting career in the Army, Swiss. I can only hope mine turns out similarly. I’m 2 weeks out from completing my 2nd year in the Big Green Machine.
No! Too many deployments. Too many goodbyes. Too many texts or emails starting “did you see who died?” Too many nights waking up, years later, in terror that you missed movement.
I hope to God you don’t.
Haha, my bad dreams are always showing up for deployment without any gear, not even uniforms, and I’m frantically running all over base to find shit.
Hmm. Well, having spent 2 yrs playing TRADOC reindeer games, I almost wish I was getting shot at. Last night, we had another mass breathalyzer for the whole company. It’s a bit discouraging that having worked hard for a year and a half at DLI to graduate from the one of the hardest programs in the military, my reward is to come here and get treated like a juvenile delinquent for 4 months.
No alcohol (for Army anyway, even though it is sold at the PX), no overnight passes, can’t walk around by yourself, article 15s handed out like candy- it’s unpleasant. Oh well. Only 41 days til xmas break and 61 til graduation. I can endure.
On a semi-related note, my brother has returned safely from Afghanistan and he has submitted his paperwork to resign from the Army. They rejected it a couple of times claiming that he used the wrong font. I’m sure there are many more hoops for him to jump through. Even so, this is good step for him. 11 years and 3 deployments is enough.
Comic Sans: works every time
*slow clap*
Don’t be in a hurry to be shot at Derp. Churchill said “There is nothing so exhilarating as to shot at and missed.” I say “The first time you are shot at is exciting every time after that it is a pain in the ass.” Swiss didn’t go into the complete helplessness of being shot at with indirect fire. If somebody engaged us with an AK or an RPG we could (and did) respond and that responsiveness gives you power and hope. Unless you are arty or sometimes mortars all you can do in the face of indirect fire is hunker down and take it. That sucks.
I was also involved in “Charge of the Knights” but not in a IA division like Swiss. Being an advisor is a tough gig, one of the toughest there is. Believe us that ground combat can show the best in a human, but brings out the worst in mankind. Be happy that the skills you are learning can perhaps enable a less terrible resolution.
I, like most veterans, am proud of my service but Swiss is correct the military takes a terrible price on not just the Vet but on their families as well. It wasn’t until my children were adults and parents that they felt they could tell me about their fears and anger for every time I said “goodbye” to deploy. My ex was succinct in her feeling that she felt like the part time mistress because every time the Army called I went with it.
I participated in multiple wars at multiple ranks commanding Special Operations units. The things I did and the orders I gave I have to live with until I die. I don’t feel guilty because what I did/ordered was required at that time and place, it doesn’t make it “nice” it just made it “required.” Still, waking up in a cold sweat after reliving a combat situation is less than fun.
Be proud of your service Derp. May your service be interesting and let you learn valuable skills for your life. You will meet some fascinating and honorable people. Mahalo.
PS- Your brother will get the font down. If he wants to avoid the potential of an involuntary recall he should not accept a Reserve commission. If he wants to bank another nine years for a retirement check take the commission but realize the risk.
Glad you made it out of there Swiss. That is not a nice place.
Enjoy the day.
Agreed. Hopefully, the less corrupt will rule the day, and they can get a semi-functioning government.
We gave them a chance…up to them.
This seems like as good a place as any for this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyHx-dPz2RA
(classic version)
new and improved version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCmONrFBTRY
Wow, makes my experiences seem rather, insipid. There has actually been a part of me that regretted going the academic route rather than military service. I don’t know if I would have been cut out for it or any good at it, but I guess that’s part of the reason lots of people go in, to test themselves. I’ve always thought it was a great way to show loyalty and instill values that reach far beyond the military. The discipline, teamwork, leadership and determination are all things that take you far no matter where you are. Thanks for the insights Swiss, you have certainly led a colorful life.
“Every man thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier, or not having been at sea.”
Bah. Everyone has something to do or give. Don’t sweat it.
Nobody soldiers without a legion of taxpayers and others backing them.
Hogwash. Everybody should strive to spend some time at sea. It is there where one should look at the moon and stars on a clear night and thank god they are not a soldier.
*narrows gaze*
*Buys Swiss a beer*
Some choose to be soldiers. With that choice, they have often saved us all from becoming one.
*cheers*
Western you are correct. My first night sailing in a passage far from land was incredible. I grew up in a remote area and spent many nights camping, but I never knew there were so many stars visible. It was hard to recognize the constellations because of all the stars.
OT: Fuckin’ crazy.
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2017/11/10/widow-meets-man-who-received-husbands-face-in-transplant-surgery.html
Thank you for the thought-provoking story. I thank you for your service and wish you a peaceful Veteran’s Day.
I have tremendous respect and appreciation for the people in our military–even when I don’t necessarily agree with the war we’re fighting. Thanksgiving is coming up, and I always think of it as being an especially American holiday. If there’s something especially American about being thankful for and celebrating whatever we have, even if all we have in hard times is courage, friends, or family, then there must be something especially un-American about being an ingrate. I’d hate for anyone who served in our military to think they don’t have my gratitude and respect.
Hope all you Glibs in the service (or retired, you crusty bastards too) are taking advantage of the perks. Hope y’all have a good Veterans Day!
LMFAO
As well. That is funny.
Meeting Swiss was…awkward.
Well….yeah.
note to self:
NEVER GO BACK IN THE OCEAN
well whoops
http://www.newsweek.com/dinosaur-era-frilled-shark-insane-teeth-found-portugal-708764
That is not a shark. That is a big ass ocean dwelling snake with a fish tail.
A Powerful Great White Shark Tries to Flip a Boat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5VALcd6LA0
Sarah Huckabee Sanders was raked over the coals for explaining taxes making an analogy to splitting a tab.
***
This story has been floating around the Internet for a while, and it’s important to keep in mind that the numbers are not exact, and I’m also not encouraging any drinking. So file that away -– it’s mostly for my parents. But I think you’ll enjoy it.
Suppose that every day, 10 people –- for our purposes, we’ll say reporters -– go out for beer, and the bill for all 10 comes to $100. If these 10 reporters paid their tab every night the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
first four, the poorest, would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth, the richest, would pay $59. So that’s what they decided to do.
The 10 reporters drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the bar owner threw them a curveball. “Since you’re all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.” Drinks for the 10 reporters would now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four were unaffected; they would still drink for free. But what about the other six? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get their fair share? These are the reporters after all, so they’re concerned with fairness.
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth reporter and the sixth reporter would each end up being paid to drink beer.
So the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was. By doing that, he explained, they’d continue following the principle of the tax system they’d been using. So he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should pay now.
And so the fifth reporter, like the first four, now paid nothing. He got a 100 percent saving. The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3, a 33 percent saving. The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7, a 28 percent saving. The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12, a 25 percent saving. The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18, which was a 22 percent saving. And the tenth now paid $49 instead of $59, a 16 percent saving.
So each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the bar, the reporters began to compare their savings. “I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving,” declared the sixth reporter.
And she pointed to the tenth reporter, “he got $10.”
“Yes, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth reporter. “I only saved a dollar too. It’s unfair that he received ten times more benefit than me!”
“That’s true!” shouted the seventh reporter. “Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy gets all the breaks.”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four reporters in unison, “we didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”
The nine reporters yelled at the tenth and made him feel bad.
So the next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, and the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They no longer had enough money between them all to even cover half of the bill.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how our tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally benefit from a tax reduction, but not the largest percent benefit. Taxing them too much — attack them — and they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
This is a silly story, of course, but it illustrates some very important points. Our tax cuts and reforms will create a fairer system that works better for everyone. And it will make our country the friendliest in the world for American families trying to build a better life for themselves and their children, and for American companies seeking a competitive edge.
And I’ll be happy to get that story to everybody so that you can get those numbers later. Again, I know that that may be an oversimplification, but I think it paints a very good picture of the tax system.
And with that, I’ll take your questions.
***
the math is still too complex for 99% of news media. BITCH IS TRYING TO TRICK US WITH NUMBERS.
I wish I had bookmarked or screen-capped this one CNN article about global warming. They claimed that by 2010, the average temperature in Antarctica was going to rise by 1° C or 32° F.
A rise of 1° C is a rise of 1,8° F. But the moron who wrote the article just mindlessly plugged the figure into the temperature conversion formula.
That cured me of my Gellman Amnesia.
They were just mad she was makng fun of reporters.
They were mad that any of them had to pay, why shouldn’t they all be given all the free beer they want?
Wait…..so let me get this straight. If I had became a reporter, there is a chance I could have drank for free?
DERP DOWN BELOW CAP’N!
Great story Swiss. Happy Veterans Day!
Helluva story Swissy! Thanks for opening a vein for us.
Happy Veterans day to you and all the military Glibs!
Great story Swiss. Realizing that it’s somebody else’s country was one more step for me towards being a libertarian. When I was in Afghanistan some US gents came running to us, begging us, ordering us, to stop an Afghan group from beating the daylights out of one of the US gents’ informants. It turned out the informant owed the group money. We weren’t allowed to interfere with local matters in any way.
Guy went running up to the informant’s house and tried to throw a grenade through the window, which bounced off the glass, and blew up in the dude’s face that threw it. We had a chuckle at that, though the US gent was not amused.
Had some close calls with 107s as well. I was asleep in my hooch and was awoken by a strange sound. When I went outside I saw the manhole outside my door smoking. Turns out a rocket flew over, went through the manhole cover, and detonated underground. I don’t know who was looking out for me, but I’m glad they were.
Thanks for your service Swiss, cheers!
Thanks Swiss.
I was never in the military, primarily because I know I don’t follow orders well. So I appreciate someone who can work within the system and retain their individual principles.
Is it wrong that as a former enlisted guy I find it’s nice to know officers get frustrated by the big Green Weenie as well? Garrison sucks much more than indirect fire in my opinion.
Thank you for your service.